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Mitchell’s WWE 205 Live Report! (11/21/17)

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All images courtesy of the WWE Network streaming service

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Street Fight: Akira Tozawa VS Drew Gulak; Tozawa wins.
  • Tony Nese VS Mustafa Ali; Nese wins.
  • Noam Dar & Ariya Daivari w/ Enzo Amore VS Cedric Alexander & Rich Swann; Alexander & Swann win.

 

PLAY BY PLAY

The Cruiserweights celebrate Thanksgiving!

At least, The ‘Zo Train does. They give thanks–but not sneak food before the others, Dar… Anyway, as the Certified G, Enzo Amore is a 5G with the ‘Zo Train, and the others are well connected. These connections is getting them all matches tonight. Better than that, matches against the “schmucks” what interrupted them on Raw. But calm down. Raw wasn’t a good look. And when you’re on The ‘Zo Train, you rep the Enzo Brand. Tonight, after making Enzo look good, Christmas might also come early. In the form of a recommendation for an opportunity at the Cruiserweight Championship. Enzo looks out for his guys, but where is Gulak? PowerPoint. Seriously? But wait, is that Gobbledy Gooker?!

What’s this turkey doing here? Dar stop smiling. Reveal! It’s Gulak. How are you doing? He’s Gobbledy Gulaker. Enzo said to loosen up, right? Enzo is at a loss for words. But the point being, can someone earn a big Christmas present even before Black Friday?

Street Fight: Akira Tozawa VS Drew Gulak!

Before the Crusader for #Drewtopia gets gritty with Dragon Gate’s graduate Stamina Monster, Gulak wishes to speak. The fans chant “Power Point! Power Point!” but Gulak shouts them down, because of his rule against chanting. Gulak is a “proud member of The ‘Zo Train” and therefore “Enzo Adjacent.” If Amore is from the streets, by proxy, so is Gulak. And in an effort to clean up the mean streets, he will do whatever it takes to end Akira Tozawa’s chanting of “AH! AH! AH!” Which the fans echo in order to irritate Gulak. Make no mistake, Gulak will prove his loyalty and show the world that Gulak is not afraid to not just roll up but cut off his sleeves and get his hands dirty. And speaking of, here is a special edition of hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis… POWERPOINT PRESENTATION! Which we won’t get to see because Akira Tozawa enters!

The bell rings, the “AH! AH! AH!” echoes out again. Gulak gets out of the ring and covers his ears as he walks around the ring. Tozawa dares Gulak to get back in the ring, Gulak does, and the two brawl. Gulak has control as he gives a stiff chop, then a body shot against the ropes. Into a corner, Gulak goes after an arm then whips but is reversed, sunset flip rolled through for the kick and the back senton. Tozawa is fired up as he gives Gulak a few chops. Houston wants tables already as Tozawa feints a chop and then gives Gulak a stiff jab. Tozawa stomps on Gulak, Gulak headbutts Tozawa’s ribs. Fans chant for “PowerPoint! PowerPoint!” but Gulak tells them to stop chanting. Gulak drags Tozawa up, gets space, gets caught in a hunicanrana. Gulak ends up on the apron, Tozawa boots him down. “AH! AH! AH!” before building speed, Tozaw Torpedo!

But wait! Gulak caught the suicide dive, and turns it into a suplex onto the stage ramp! Tozawa hits hard steel plates and writhes in pain as Gulak sits up and catches his breath. Gulak drags Tozawa up and beats Tozawa up on the ramp. Gulak lines up a shot, running forearm runs Tozawa over. Tozawa’s jaw and throat are still recovering from what Gulak did to him weeks ago, so Gulak keeps on it with a haymaker. Gulak drags Tozawa back into the ring, and gets that sign. Ironically, fans chant “No Chants! No Chants!” Gulak grabs his sign and jabs the bottom into Tozawa’s ribs, cover, TWO. Gulak keeps going, he opens up the apron skirt to bring out not just one chair, but two chairs, and tosses them into the ring. Gulak sets up one chair, drags Tozawa over, and sits Tozawa in that chair. A stiff slap knocks Tozawa over, cover, TWO. Gulak is getting frustrated, fans still want tables. Tozawa is dazed, Gulak takes his No Chants sign and wedges it in a corner. He drags Tozawa up and takes aim at that corner, but Tozawa slumps as dead weight. Gulak mocks Tozawa’s fighting spirit. Either get up or give up! Gulak goes to scoop but Tozawa blocks with all the power he has, then elbows and “AH! AH! AH!” Gulak gets angry, he gives body shots, he scoops but Tozawa slips out, saido suplex into the sign post!

The post splinters, now Gulak is the one writhing in pain. Both men are down but Tozawa stirs. Tozawa gets to the outside and as fans chant for tables, Tozawa obliges! He pulls out a table, fans go wild, and Tozawa puts the table in the ring. Gulak is crawling over, Tozawa starts setting up the table, Gulak pounces. Gulak drags Tozawa up, bumps Tozawa off the table, then drags Tozawa to suplex him into buckles. Drag to a cover, TWO, and Gulak is further frustrated. Gulak surveys table and ring, and decides to put that table in a corner. Tozawa rolls out to the floor, Gulak fetches him, dragging him up but getting reversed so that Gulak goes over the announce desk! Tozawa clears that table now, climbs up, cannonball senton!

Down goes Gulak, but it was a bit double-edged for Tozawa and his own damaged back. Tozawa stirs and gets up, drags Gulak up and into the ring. Tozawa has one more idea, he brings out… one kendo stick, then a trash can! He brings both of those into the ring, stalks over to Gulak, and places trash can over Gulak’s head to then beat it with the kendo stick! Tozawa gets Gulak on that table, then climbs up top, fans fire up as they see what’s coming next. Drop Zone Super Senton through it all!

After that crash landing, Tozawa covers, Tozawa wins! Chants or no chants, Tozawa proved he’s the tougher man, will he be the one to cash in on the Realest Champ’s early Christmas gift?

205 Live is about to add yet another star to the roster!

He made his name in Japan, in the indies, and even in NXT, the Cruiserweights better be ready to #GoToSleep, because they’re soon going to meet Hideo Itami!

The ‘Zo Train’s appetite is souring.

The Premier Athlete, Tony Nese, doesn’t care about how big Hideo Itami has been around the world, 205 Live is #ZoTown. Also Nese doesn’t seem to care that he’s getting turkey bits everywhere. If Itami is smart, he’ll join them. No, Nese, what you should be worrying about right now is staying on the ‘Zo Train. Nese better do a better job than Gulak did. In come Cedric Alexander, Rich Swann and Mustafa Ali. “Look what we got over here~. A cuppa turkeys.” Or, a couple brown-nosing lackeys. Dinero Davari, Tony Abs, what has Enzo done to them? The ‘Zo Train is gonna run you three over. Or, just embarrass him again. Enzo tells them to wrestle like their lives depend on it. Nese is up next, he better do “whatever it takes” to win. Turkey leg down, match up next, will the ‘Zo Train keep on track?

Tony Nese VS Mustafa Ali!

The Certified G issued his orders, can the Premier Athlete carry them out against the Pakistani Prince? Or will The ‘Zo Train go 0-2 against the Anti-Amore Alliance? The bell rings, the two circle, they tie up, Nese shoves Ali away to flex as always. Nese feels that his literal body of work is something everyone should be thankful for this year, but Ali doesn’t think so. They tie up again, ropebreak isn’t clean as Nese gets a headlock. Ali slips to a hammerlock, Nese reverses but Ali reverses right back, scoop slam for Ali but he holds on to arm-drag and armlock Nese in return. Nese pulls Ali’s hair then powers out, things speed up as Ali handsprings over, and he flexes now. Fans like his better than Nese’s, Nese runs in but gets a crucifix roll-up, TWO, Nese runs Ali over with an elbow. TWO, Nese stomps away on Ali. Nese drags Ali up, Ali gives body shots and forearms but Nese gives back a knee before whipping Ali to a corner. Ali goes up and over, speeds up again, flapjack dropkick sends Nese out of the ring. Ali kip-up, then he goes to a corner and climbs up, aims at Nese, then jumps for a somersault senton!

Ali takes Nese down and is safely on his feet again, fans like that. Nese shoves Ali away, tries to run away, Ali stops him but gets a throat chop in return. Ali gives an elbow back, hps up but then gets tripped up, Ali is sideways on that corner. Nese breaks the ring count then returns to give Ali a top shelf knee and a face-first drop on the announce desk. Into the ring for a cover, TWO. Nese is frustrated, he stomps on Ali, then toys with him on the mat. Nese wraps on a chinlock, fans build to a rally, Ali feeds off that to get up and fight out by putting Nese in a corner. Nese wraps the chinlock right back on, Ali tries again but is thrown into the buckles. Nese runs in, Ali dodges and gets to the apron, Nese goes to shoulder him away but Ali dodges and kicks back. Ali slingshots over and speeds up, rallying with forearms. Whip to a corner reversed, Ali slides and slips out, roundhouse knocks Nese away. Ali rolls in, X-Factor facebuster! TWO! Ali and Nese are slow to getting up, having tired each other out. Ali brings Nese up, Nese shoves and forearms Ali hard. Another whip reversed, Ali gives a forearm. Nese staggers, but Matrix kip-up dodges Ali’s swing, Nese gives kick after kick but Ali blocks one. Back suplex escaped, Ali shoved to a corner, but Ali jumps to hit a tornado DDT!

Cover, TWO, Ali is surprised. Nese stirs, crawls, fans rally and Ali gets up. Ali goes to climb up but Nese anchors a foot, so Ali stomps away on Nese. Ali goes up, Nese gets under the ropes so Ali grabs him, only to get swung into the post! Ali sits down, dazed from the impact, Nese gets up and gets running, Premier KNEEse!

Nese wins, The ‘Zo Train is on the board! Can the Premier Athlete get himself a golden opportunity before the holidays?

And The ‘Zo Train is happy about it!

“That is exactly what I’m talking about!” Daivari and Dar promise to “slap the smiles right off of Cedric’s and Rich Swann’s faces.” They’ll drink Thanksgiving dinner through straws! And as such, Enzo will be front row for “Twofer Tuesdays”, because when it’s 2v2, these two will show those two why The ‘Zo Train ain’t an embarrassment. Unlike a certain someone! The Gobbledy Gulaker is sulking in the corner. Can he leave Time-Out? He has to use the restroom… No! You sit there and you think about what you’ve done. As for the Privileged Persian Lion and Scottish Supernova, time to get it done.

Noam Dar & Ariya Daivari w/ Enzo Amore VS Cedric Alexander & Rich Swann

Some familiar foes are mixed in this tag team match, which side will win this Thanksgiving Best of Three series? Starting the match are Daivari and Alexander, the Carolina Kid is caught in an arm wrench but reverses with handsprings and gets a headlock takeover. Daivari gets up, pulls hair to a corner, the ropebreak is not clean as Daivari gives a shoulder and some haymakers. Corner to corner whip and Alexander hits buckles hard. Daivari pumps the ‘Zo Train horn, whips Alexander, Alexander rolls, handsprings and headscissors Daivari before giving a dropkick. The fans chant “Shut up, Enzo!” at the Certified G trash talking on the side. Alexander tags Swann, Swann slingshot dropkicks, Alexander gives Daivari a suplex to set up for the Rolling Thunder splash! TWO, Swann keeps on Daivari but Daivari powers him to the ‘Zo Train corner, tag to Dar. Dar gives Swann a headbutt to the rings, but then Swann kicks him away. Swann dodges Dar, Alexander tags, sunset flip rolled through and Dar takes the springboard flying lariat!

Alexander is fired up as he drags Dar up, Dar is saved by Daivari’s distraction that gets the Privileged Persian a stiff forearm. Dar swings and misses, but counters Alexander’s handspring with a kick to the ribs. Cover, TWO, Dar is frustrated as he goes after Alexander’s arm. Dar gives body shots in the corner, tag to Daivari for some ‘Zo Train mudhole stomps. Tag back to Dar, Dar taunts Swann, big stomp to Alexander’s ribs and then a grinding foot into Alexander’s chin. Tag to Daivari, Enzo is feeling good about his team as Alexander is mugged and isolated. Daivari drags Alexander up, puts him back in the corner, tag to Dar. Enzo trash talks everyone from Alexander to the fans, Dar tortures Alexander’s arm with a modified Fujiwara. Fans rally, Alexander gets up, Dar kicks a leg out then knocks Swann down. Alexander rolls, no one home as Dar pounces from behind. Cover, TWO, Dar is frustrated, but not without his confidence. Alexander kicks back, but Dar kicks him down, tag to Daivari. Daivari stomps away on Alexander, then grinds a boot into Alexander’s face. Alexander makes a scramble for Swann but Daivari anchors his foot, elbow drop to the back. Daivari puts on a chinlock, trash talks in Farsi, fans rally and Alexander fights back to jawbreaker out. Dar grabs Alexander, gets a haymaker for it, Alexander escapes Daivari’s back suplex. Dar rushes in but is tossed out the other side, Daivari grabs Alexander’s tights to keep him from tagging Swann. Alexander gets a second try, tag to Swann, and the Outlandish One starts rallying. Stiff back kick but Daivari boots back, Daivari hops up but is thrown off with a No Hands Hunicanrana! Cover, TWO, Enzo is relieved. Swann goes up top, Dar comes in to distract the ref, Enzo is the one who trips Swann up! Daivari gets to the corner as Swann tumbles down, Daivari aims, “Persian Lion Splash”!

TWO! Enzo and his boys are shocked! Enzo demands Daivari get the job done and tag in Dar. Dar tags in, small package surprise, TWO, roundhouse! Enzo gets up to distract from the cover, so Alexander yanks him down. Daivari comes over but Alexander blocks his boot, to give a stiff back elbow! He grabs Enzo, Enzo begs for mercy, Dar wrecks Alexander with a dropkick! Enzo thanks Dar, Dar gets in, Swann Song heel kick! Dar down in position, Swann climbs up, Phoenix Splash! Swann & Alexander win the series, but the ‘Zo Train are sore losers as they attack as a pack!

Alexander tries to save Swann but he ends up beat down all the same. Enzo stomps a mudhole on Swann, Dar and Daivari keep Alexander down. BIG clothesline for Swann, but then Tozawa and Ali come to the rescue!

However, Nese and Gulak intercept!

The entire ‘Zo Train beats down the Anti-Amore Cruiserweights, Tozawa sent into steel steps, and Ali thrown into a post so hard, he spins off it!

Swann’s ankle is holding him back as Alexander gets mugged 4v1, with Conductor Enzo just watching and coordinating. Alexander takes the Hammerlock Lariat from Daivari, Swann is fed to Dar’s running enziguri! Enzo says the kick is good. The ‘Zo Train isn’t done just yet, they pile Swann and Alexander as Enzo climbs up. And with help from his ‘Zo Train, Enzo hits a Certified G Splash!

#TwoferTuesday came true, and the ‘Zo Train dances behind their Conductor.

Enzo then takes to the mic, no surprise. He asks Swann and Alexander both, “How You Doin’?” At this rate, will the ‘Zo Train run over every other Cruiserweight in the Division as we near the end of the year?

My Thoughts:

Not a bad 205 Live to follow up Survivor Series and Raw. This truly was The ‘Zo Show with everything connected to him and his ‘Zo Train stable. Enzo is still great on the mic even if he is a Heel, and at least Gulak is a great personality to work with Enzo as a foil, because of how opposite they are. Really good Street Fight to open the show, and Houston got what they wanted with a table spot. Tozawa is 2-0 for Street Fights on 205 Live and is 2 for 2 in using a table as part of his finish, and this checks of “No Chants” on Gulak’s campaign. He already did “No Flying” with Ali, so perhaps next is going to be a “No Flashy Attire” with someone like Gran Metalik or Lince Dorado? I don’t know anyone else in the Division with attire quite as colorful unless someone gets added to the roster. Nese picks up his win mostly out of necessity, can’t let it be a clean sweep for the Faces.

Great to hear that Hideo Itami is being called up and to 205 Live like the rumor mills were saying. I also like the reactions from The ‘Zo Train to this news, Dar’s was probably the best and most appropriate, as even in matches Itami lost in NXT, he hit really hard and made the opponent work for the win. Then, the tag team match was pretty solid, thanks to all the work Swann & Alexander have done together against THE Brian Kendrick & Jack Gallagher. If Cruiserweights were allowed to mingle with Raw, a team like those two could possibly into the Raw Tag Team Championship scene, or at least give Heels like The Bar or The Club one other team to go against on the side. But that aside, Alexander & Swann win but then get beat down with Tozawa and Ali so that the math stays even. ‘Zo Train loses the battle but not the war, they’re going to stand tall until Itami shows up to knock them down and put him over to make it clear he is Enzo’s next contender. The only problem is that Itami barely did anything in NXT because of injuries. Hopefully Itami can stay healthy to get his title match with Enzo, which I hope he also wins to freshen things up.

My Score: 8/10


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More From Japan

NOAH WEEKLY NEWSLETTER VOL.187 ~ 29TH SEPTEMBER 2022

Keiji Mutoh continues his Retirement tour and bringing out faces from the past! NOAH has a new champion! Interesting inter-promotional battles on the horizon as well!

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NEWS

Kaito Kiyomiya is the new GHC Heavyweight Champion, nominates Kazuyuki Fujita as challenger

Following provocation by Kenoh not only saying that he was going to be the one to inherit Keiji Mutoh’s Shining Wizard and the memory of Keiji Mutoh himself (and the outright claim that Kiyomiya would simply forget about Mutoh once Mutoh had retired, which Kiyomiya didn’t even bother responding to), Kenoh went one step further at their last pre match on the 19th September by pulling Keiji Mutoh’s pose, kissing his hand, putting it to Kiyomiya’s lips and then exploding it. Kiyomiya erupted in fury at this, it was far more than any verbal provocation of Kenoh’s, which I guess he has learned to ignore over the years. They fought for the GHC Heavyweight in Nagoya on September 25th, with Kiyomiya emerging victorious following a modified Shining Wizard. As Kenoh left it was like a spell was broken. Kenoh went backstage and muttered about Kiyomiya being the company favorite and in his interview the day after winning the title, Kiyomiya said nothing about Keiji Mutoh. Mutoh as we know had been a focus of both Kiyomiya and Kenoh leading up to the title match.

Back in the ring, Kiyomiya called out his next opponent. Kazuyuki Fujita. Fujita came to the ring, carrying a can of beer which he swigged from. Getting in the ring he circled Kiyomiya and took off his t-shirt. Kiyomiya said that he was expecting a fight, but Fujita did something that no other NOAH wrestler had (or perhaps would) do, and that was to throw himself at Kiyomiya and then make nuzzling motions against his head, while he licked the belt. Kiyomiya pushed him off, and Fujita retaliated by pouring beer over his head.

Kiyomiya screaming that he hated beer was met with Fujita toasting him from the ramp and yelling “Kampaiii” (“cheers”) after a fight had broken out, and Kiyomiya threw him from the ring.

 

Backstage, Kiyomiya said his reason for nominating Kazuyuki Fujita as his challenger was that he had never been defeated for the GHC Heavyweight. Fujita had to give up the belt due to Coronavirus. It has been a recurring theme of most of the GHC Heavyweight champions since Go Shiozaki, that Fujita has been the man to beat in order to cement yourself as champion. Kiyomiya was picking up that torch.

As for Fujita, he played it as if he was a Casanova and had been asked out on a date by warning Kiyomiya that when you experience Fujita, you can never go back because you were never going to be the same. He was going to “make it a night to remember”. He sipped his beer, and licked his lips afterwards.

Title match has been set for NOAH’s return to Ariake on the 30th October.

STINGER lose, NOAH Junior Regulars win, enter Tadasuke (with a chair)

Following a period of brutal attacks on Seiki Yoshioka (by the end of the match he could hardly use one side of his body) and a title challenge where Atsushi Kotoge was bloodied up, The NOAH Junior Regulars emerged victorious and bought the tag titles home to their unit. They had very little time to celebrate their win and put ice on their wounds, when Tadasuke burst in and attacked Atsushi Kotoge with a chair while Hi69 beat up on the already incapacitated Seiki Yoshioka. Tadasuke (wild grin on his face) got on the microphone and made a challenge for the tag titles. Then Tadasuke wiped the blood from Kotoge that had got on his hands on his hair, leaving red streaks in the peroxide. Tadasuke was even waving the bloodied seat of the chair, which had detached during the attack, around backstage.

Title match will be on the 30th October when NOAH return to the Ariake complex.

Takashi Sugiura and Satoshi Kojima, NOAH’s most dysfunctional tag team, win the GHC Heavyweight tag titles

It must be said that with the combined efforts of Satoshi Kojima and Hideki Suzuki, we almost have our Sugi back.

At the press conference/title match signing, Sugi and Kojima appeared dressed in suits and wearing dark glasses. They looked something between The Men In Black and “Dangerous Detectives” (as Tokyo Sports called them  which stems from a Japanese TV show). Hideki Suzuki was on form, not only mistranslating Timothy Thatcher and stating at one point that Thatcher said he came to Japan to “beat you up” and being rude to a journalist for being overfamiliar with his “punk mouth”, the highlight of the press conference was his long close up stare at Sugi, who was trying not to laugh.

The dysfunctional team won the titles in Nagoya on the 25th September, and despite their falling out during the match, Sugi actually gave Kojima a proper handshake. Then they went back to squabbling backstage over Kojima talking on the mic when it was Sugi who got the win. No challengers have come forward as of yet.

HAYATA retains the GHC Junior, Ninja Mack makes his long awaited challenge

It had been an emotional match for YO-HEY, and for fans. Cutting out the aerial techniques that had characterized their earlier matches, both he and HAYATA demonstrated how much they had both evolved by concentrating on a more NOAH based ground attack with submissions. YO-HEY might have failed in the challenge, but he had at least gotten one win over HAYATA in the pre-match. He knew the title match would be different and he would need to level up, and afterwards he reflected and said he would start from rock bottom in order to make his next challenge. What fans had noticed that while things had changed between them, some things were the same, such as YO-HEY coloring his hair, his tongue (and even his boxer shorts) purple, which is HAYATA’s color, and HAYATA not speaking as much as he has done in previous title challenges, as he is content to let YO-HEY talk. After the match, Ninja Mack came to challenge. HAYATA accepted by saying, that he was “finally interested in the belt” and acknowledging him as challenger. Title match will of course be on the 30th October. But HAYATA is not immediately going into a fallout match with Ninja Mack at NOAH’s next event on the 30th, but is having a tag match against YO-HEY.

Keiji Mutoh’s Retirement Road

Keiji Mutoh has been very busy.

– 23rd September: Great Muta appears in AEW

The Great Muta made a surprise appearance in AEW to rescue Sting, who had been tied to a chair by Darby Allen. Muta came to the ring, advanced on Sting and then turned and spat green mist into the face of Allen and then reunited with Sting. Keiji Mutoh announced that Sting would attend Muta’s retirement on the 22nd in Yokohama, but has not said in what capacity, although it is assumed that they will tag. Regarding any further appearances in America, Mutoh said he didn’t think it was likely, but did warn that The Great Muta may pop up somewhere as you never knew where he would turn up next.

– 25th September: Keiji Mutoh Retirement Road: Love Forever 2

Keiji Mutoh teamed with his junior Kazuyuki Fujita to take on Mutoh’s classmate, Masakatsu Funaki and Katsuhiko Nakajima, who Mutoh has known since he was a boy, and still calls affectionately “Katsuhiko”. Nakajima said he was going to break up this class reunion, and while Mutoh did get kicked (Nakajima smirked and said it was fun when Mutoh later complained his leg still hurt) but it was Fujita who got the worst of it. During the match, Nakajima pulled out Mutoh’s Space Rolling Elbow. Mutoh was initially not pleased, but then he became very happy to see it and said that he thought that “Katsuhiko” did it because he had some small measure of feeling for him. I think had Nakajima been a more acrobatic wrestler, Mutoh might have handed it to him. Mutoh won the match with The Shining Wizard, pinning Nakajima. This was Mutoh’s farewell to Nagoya, his classmate, his junior and Nakajima.

– 26th September: Hiroshi Tanahashi comes to the press conference and a tag match is announced

Hiroshi Tanahashi presented 38 roses to Mutoh when he came to the press conference. Each rose symbolizes a year of Mutoh’s career. Mutoh joked that he should have laid them at his feet, as had happened in boxing recently. Tanahashi said he wasn’t good at ad-libbing, and then introduced himself as “one of the greatest New Japan talents in the past one hundred years”. During the press conference, a tag match was announced. New Japan’s Hiroshi Tanahashi, Togi Makabe and Honma Tomoaki will team together against the team of Naomichi Marufuji, Keiji Mutoh and Keiji Mutoh. This will take place on the 30th October. Mutoh has not given up hope of appearing one final time in the New Japan ring.

– 16th October: A new match is announced

NOAH announced that due to fan demand, Keiji Mutoh will be appearing in Fukuoka. He will tag with Ninja Mack and Satoshi Kojima against Naomichi Marufuji, HAYATA and Jack Morris. Satoshi Kojima is of course connected to Mutoh through All Japan and New Japan, Naomichi Marufuji has wanted a match against Mutoh (he will be tagging with him as we know on the 30th October) and HAYATA has been a big fan of Mutoh for a while, as he has influenced a lot of his style and persona. HAYATA thinks of himself and The Great Muta as “The Phantom Team”. Muta doesn’t like to speak and HAYATA said, neither does he.

Naomichi Marufuji and Katsuhiko Nakajima head overseas

Naomichi Marufuji and Katsuhiko Nakajima will appear for Evolution Pro Wrestling in New York for their anniversary show on November 12th. Marufuji’s match is yet to be announced, but Nakajima will take on Josh Alexander. Alexander has said he wonders how Nakajima is going to kick after he snaps his ankle. They will also appear at King of Indies in San Francisco on November 19th.

NOSAWA vs Katsuhiko Nakajima (and Kenoh)

After being beaten up by Katsuhiko Nakajima who gave him some pretty stiff soccerball kicks outside the ring at Korakuen Hall recently, (although he would tell you that Nakajima tried to beat him up), NOSAWA Rongai has been on a quest to face Nakajima in a match. Then he threw in Kenoh, so it could be himself and Eita versus Kongoh. Hideki Suzuki told him that he was probably going to die, but NOSAWA has taken no notice and kept on with his demand. His demand has not been met because rather than facing Nakajima and Kenoh, NOAH have booked him against rookies Yasutaka Yano and Kai Fujimura. NOSAWA thinks he is having to go through some kind of trial.

ELSEWHERE IN NOAH

– Hideki Suzuki has hinted that perhaps Takashi Sugiura might like to get back online.

– Yoshiki Inamura and YO-HEY continued their guild, despite the fact that YO-HEY said someone attacked and burned their castle down. A picture was taken of YO-HEY and Inamura playing the game, with YO-HEY seated cross legged on Inamura, who was doing a bridge in the ring. We have seen Inamura used as a weight, but is he now used as furniture?

– NOAH’s Director, Narihiro Takeda, wrote on a NOAH Note that he would like for Darby Allin to come to NOAH one day.

– Tadasuke got a match thrown out by ripping off Alejandro’s mask. Tadasuke did not care, and did not even respond when Alejandro asked if he wanted a mask for himself?

– Daiki Inaba had his long awaited singles match with Katsuhiko Nakajima, but failed to revenge himself for Nakajima’s behavior in W-1. Nakajima even went for the cocky pin by grinning and leaning on Inaba.

– There was usual chaos at the NOAH Junior Space sessions as Daisuke Harada is not there to take control. Atsushi Kotoge seems to be the main culprit, forgetting to invite Seiki Yoshioka in and at one time even failing to press record.

– It’s probably best that Daiki Inaba, who apparently likes to be in the nip backstage, was not present when NOAH was at Differ. It was bad enough that Sugi used to wander around naked…

– Mitsuharu Misawa wrote in a diary entry for 2006 about filming an advert for THE LEAVE, and having to sing first thing in the morning while they were filming. Probably due to the fact that he had a problem with his throat anyway, was a heavy smoker and had taken “so many chops and kicks” to it in his career, he said he sounded very hoarse.

EVENT RECAPS AND POST MATCH PROMOS

SUNNY VOYAGE – September 19th 

Event recap

Post match promos

N-INNOVATION – September 21st 

Event recap

Post match promos

GRAND SHIP 2022 IN NAGOYA/KEIJI MUTOH RETIREMENT ROAD – September 25th

Event recap

Post match promos

CURRENT CHAMPIONS

  • GHC Heavyweight Champion: Kaito Kiyomiya
    Challenger: Kazuyuki Fujita, [Muto Retirement Road] ABEMA presents Ariake Gaisen-THE RETURN-PRO-WRESTLING LOVE FOREVER . 3 ~TRIUMPH~ Sunday 30th October, Ariake Arena, Tokyo
  • GHC Junior Champion: HAYATA
    Challenger: Ninja Mack, [Muto Retirement Road] ABEMA presents Ariake Gaisen-THE RETURN-PRO-WRESTLING LOVE FOREVER . 3 ~TRIUMPH~ Sunday 30th October, Ariake Arena, Tokyo
  • GHC Heavyweight Tag Champions: KojiSugi (Satoshi Kojima & Takashi Sugiura)
    Challengers: TBA
  • GHC Junior Tag Champions: The NOAH Junior Regulars (Atsushi Kotoge & Seiki Yoshioka)
    Challengers: Kongoh Juniors (Tadasuke & Hi69), [Muto Retirement Road] ABEMA presents Ariake Gaisen-THE RETURN-PRO-WRESTLING LOVE FOREVER . 3 ~TRIUMPH~ Sunday 30th October, Ariake Arena, Tokyo
  • GHC National Champion: Masakatsu Funaki
    Challenger: Masa Kitamiya, SUNNY VOYAGE 2022 – Friday September 30th (Bandaijima Multi-Purpose Square Ogama)

(This event will not be broadcast live, but hopefully this match will be shown via Instagram)

THIS WEEK IN NOAH

(October 2022 schedule)

– Friday, October 7th

STAR NAVIGATION 2022 – Korakuen Hall, Tokyo

Time: 18:30 JST

Broadcast: WrestleUniverse/ABEMA (live)

– Saturday, October 8th

STAR NAVIGATION 2022 – Korakuen Hall, Tokyo

Time: 18:30 JST

Broadcast: WrestleUniverse (live)

Note about broadcasts

Unless you are living in Japan or have a VPN you know is compatible with ABEMA, please do not subscribe to the service. For fans living outside of Japan, a subscription to WrestleUniverse would be better as they show more NOAH shows than ABEMA, and usually the events get uploaded very quickly. ABEMA broadcasts are only in Japanese, you can only watch them live, and this is the only NOAH they show. They do not broadcast old shows as these belong to Samurai TV.

BIRTHDAYS & ANNIVERSARIES

Wednesday, 5th October: Keiji Mutoh debut anniversary (38)

Wednesday, 5th October: Seiki Yoshioka debut anniversary (14)

LINKS

“I want to protect this belt for the rest of my life”, new GHC champion Kiyomiya holds morning press conference to establish a new NOAH landscape

Mutoh’s Retirement Road, tag match against Tanahashi in round three: “I want to grab the secret of secrets”, Tanahashi presents 38 roses

Great Muta teaming up with Sting for last match? “Agent” Mutoh’s opinion 

“I wonder if I can transmit more” YO-HEY aims to revitalize the junior ark with his first championship

AEW Shock! Great Muta appears in America! Rescues Sting and shake of hands

“Follow Me You Bastards” – Kenoh’s Weekly Pro Column

GHC Junior Match Signing: YO-HEY “Last Chance, I don’t think as my ex partner now”, HAYATA “I don’t feel anything”

“Taka & Satoshi” reveal a “dangerous detective” look, mischievous Suzuki is a reckless interpreter, the GHC tag signing ceremony is thrown into chaos by bizarre question and answer between the two teams

 A “Comrade” and an “Older Brother”, Masakatsu Funaki talks about his thoughts on Mutoh’s retirement, “I want to kick him mercilessly”

BOOK CORNER

“Donmai, Donmai” – Mitsuharu Misawa’s diary

With thanks to: Metal NOAH

GIF taken from WrestleUniverse & NOAH Official YouTube

Picture credit: YO-HEY & NOAH.co.jp


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Andrew’s IMPACT Wrestling Results & Match Ratings: 9.29.2022

Bound for Glory is 8 days away, but Victory Road just happened. What kind of show do we get with some fallout and penultimate hype?

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Victory Road just happened, but Bound for Glory is like 8 nights away? You know I forgot that it was such a quick turn around. That makes tonight weird, since there’s some fallout, but then there’s gonna be a lot of table setting for Bound for Glory.

This episode could be awful. The last week or so haven’t exactly set the world afire, so I’m curious if the highlight really is just gonna be the Monster’s Ball with Masha and Allie Katch.

*insert joke about possibly gagging and balls and Swinger’s Dungeon*

Ratings:

  • Bullet Club (Ace Austin & Chris Bey w/Juice Robinson) vs Trey Miguel & Laredo Kid: Bullet Club win via Finesse & Fold – **
  • IMPACT Digital Media Championship: Brian Myers (c) vs Crazzy Steve: Myers retains via Roster Cut – ** 1/2
  • Delirious vs Black Taurus: Black Taurus wins via Destination Hellhole – ** 1/4
  • PCO & Vincent vs Rich Swann & Heath: Rich wins via Phoenix Splash – ** 1/4
  • Pick Your Poison: Monster’s Ball Match: Masha Slamovich vs Allie Katch: Masha wins via Russian Death Device – *** 1/2

Results:

Bullet Club (Ace Austin & Chris Bey w/Juice Robinson) vs Trey Miguel & Laredo Kid

I don’t think I could care less about this match if I tried. Trey and Laredo are worthless. Laredo has eaten so many terrible losses and Trey is just bad. If the BC Juniors don’t win…I will really question the booking.

My biggest takeaway early is the commentary tries to put over Trey “turning heads”. No he doesn’t, he is legitimately hard to watch and everything that Will Ospreay did wrong in his early career; is basically Trey, but with less personality. Oh did you expect play by play? They isolate Laredo, decent tandem attacks, when Trey comes in it’s bad offense typical Cruiser garbage with laughable facials and body language.

Just typical crap with Trey. Were there some cool high spots? Sure. Do I care? NOPE.

IMPACT Digital Media Championship: Brian Myers (c) vs Crazzy Steve

Steve starts with some of his quirky mat wrestling, Arm Wringers into Drop Toe Holds and face biting. It shocked Myers early, but he takes a small shortcut and starts trying to slow down the psycho from Decay. Steve bounces off the ropes and Myers does his sliding trip move before commercial.

Back from commercial, Snapmare from Steve and the neck twister into some corner offense of Hip Attacks and Sentons for 2. Myers dodges King Kill 33, lands a few pot shots, Implant DDT for 2. Into the corner, face bite, Upside Down, after the rope break Myers grabs the referee to block Steve. Eye Poke, Roster Cut, AND STILL…

Simple, but entertaining. Plus it continues Myers’ arrogant, full of himself for absolutely no reason persona. Oh and he offers up an Open Challenge for Bound for Glory. Maybe Bobby Fish? Someone new? Could be interesting. 

Delirious vs Black Taurus

Delirious is between gibberish and Stone Cold early on while they’re just trading shots. Delirious twists the Nose Ring…in the mask…and Taurus sells it momentarily before stomping the foot and decking him. This is just a weird match. I mean we all know Delirious is weird, but he’s not all comedy; and Taurus is supposed to be legit-ish.

Admittedly, with the exception of Victory Road, it has been years since I’ve watched a Delirious match. So the level of ridiculousness has hit Toru Yano levels, especially after the 10 count Leg Drops. Taurus powders, comes back in, Shoulder Tackle, Blackhole Backbreaker into a Samoan Drop. As soon as Taurus looks in charge, Delirious throws together a combo, eats a Headbutt and then Destination Hellhole.

Sheesh okay after 2 interview segments we get to Honor No More’s victory celebration segment. Just a lot of talking and inaction, so this just goes to feed that weird feeling I had coming into the show because of the timing. Eddie does the usual thing where hates on PCO and accuses him of being the weak link, which is a smart story angle since the fans tend to like PCO’s gimmick and this makes him more sympathetic to casual observers. 

Oh good Taven is talking nowWait did I just say that? DAMN YOU IMPACT! Made me like Matt Taven. Maria stirs the pot a little saying that Eddie is a better wrestler than Josh and Moose…by the implications. 

Thank God, Josh Alexander finally breaks up the segment with…more talking. Okay never mind. Jesus since the end of the Delirious match it was like 15 minutes before Josh finally charged the ring and threw down a bit with Honor No More. Rich Swann and Heath make a bit of the babyface save for Josh, but the numbers are still on Honor No More’s side. Oh MCMG come down in a tracksuit and dress clothes! Someone wasn’t ready to be doing a run in.

PCO & Vincent vs Rich Swann & Heath

Well isn’t that convenient that four of the men in the donnybrook were supposed to be in a match anyway.

Rich uses his quickness to try and stay ahead of PCO, but PCO cuts him off in the corner into the Corner Hung Codebreaker, then the leaned against the ropes Leg Drop thing. Vincent throws together a T-Bone Suplex into a Flatliner and keeps the vibes flowing on Rich Swann.

PCO clears out Heath, but PCO’s hand gets stuck in the ropes. Vincent eats a flip kick and the Phoenix Splash while PCO and Heath are brawling on the outside after the rope issue with PCO.

Pick Your Poison: Monster’s Ball Match: Masha Slamovich vs Allie Katch

Haymakers and Headbutts start things off as they both hit the ropes and lay out one another with dual clotheslines. Trash can lid duel, Masha gets first contact, but Allie blocks and returns 3 shots. German Suplex from Masha into whipping her with a chain, some choking and then general pulling with the chain in Katch’s mouth or around her eyes. Katch claws at Masha’s eyes to try and get some space.

Headbutts and Biting from Masha as Allie tries to power out of a Bow and Arrow. More chain choking…I’m not sure if this is a wrestling match or BDSM prep at the moment. Ahh Masha needs more Cowbell but Allie cuts her off with a trash can lid. Allie tries a Piledriver through a door, but Masha turns it into an Air Raid Crash into the opposite corner.

Commercial break, and Allie is getting choked again. Spots get a little redundant, slams, chokes, and blood. OHHH – it’s a “Use the Door” chant. I thought it was – nah – I won’t say what I thought it was. Chairshot from Masha misses, but a Snap Suplex from Masha onto the chair gets some usefulness. Straight Right to the gut and an Axe Kick allows Masha to hit the Death Valley Driver onto the propped up chair. Masha goes back to biting after it was only 2. Allie cuts off Masha going to the top, Superplex onto the trash can lid, into a Death Valley Driver through the door – but Masha kicks out.

Allie tries a Piledriver on the apron a few times, but Masha blocks. Masha tries for the Release German to the floor but Allie holds on. Dazed strikes, bites and then a Russian Leg Sweep through the table lays both out for a short time. Masha grabs a black bag, it’s gotta be tacks for Monster’s Ball. Masha eats a few tacks for good show, picks up Allie but Allie fights. Piledriver into the tacks from Allie, only 2. Allie opens a trash can, and empties a bunch of cut up soda cans. Hits Masha with the can, Masha fires, Spinning Heel Kick and then Russian Death Device into the pile of tacks and cans.

Overall Score: 6.25/10

The main event was pretty good, maybe even a little better than I gave it credit for; I’m just sick of seeing some crazy hardcore match so often from Impact. It feels like its weekly, and that’s too damn much. Trey is terrible, and that’s a hill I’m willing to die on. He sells poorly, he doesn’t tell a story with his wrestling and he looks like an idiot pretending to be something he isn’t; and that’s talented.

Myers is fine with his classic delusional heel style, Delirious gave a bit of a rub to Taurus so I’m guessing he’s probably next up in the X Division. But a straight 15 minutes of interviews and talking is just too damn much especially when the surrounding wrestling isn’t very good or hearty enough to help people tolerate talking time.

I do however love Joe Hendry. So…yeah. There’s always some quirky gimmicks that just resonate well with me, and this is gorgeous.

All in all, decent enough; though next week could be a real banger of a Go Home.


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