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Mitchell’s WWE Monday Night Raw Report! (12/18/17)

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All images courtesy of the WWE’s official Twitter

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Seth Rollins VS Samoa Joe; rescheduled as…
  • Seth Rollins VS Jason Jordan; Rollins wins.
  • 2v1 Handicap Match: Finn Balor VS The Miztourage; Finn wins, by disqualification.
  • Finn Balor & Hideo Itami VS The Miztourage; Balor & Itami win.
  • WWE Cruiserweight Championship #1 Contender’s Match: Cedric Alexander VS Drew Gulak; Alexander wins and will face Enzo Amore for the Cruiserweight Championship.
  • Asuka VS Alicia Fox; Asuka wins.
  • 6 Man Tag: Jason Jordan & The Shield VS Samoa Joe & The Bar; Joe & The Bar win.
  • Heath Slater & Rhyno VS The Revival; The Revival wins.
  • 6 Woman Tag: Absolution VS Mickie James, Bayley & Sasha Banks; Mickie, Bayley & Sasha win by disqualification.

PLAY BY PLAY

Last week, the two monsters of Raw did battle!

The Big Red Machine and the Monster Among Men fought for the right to face The Beast at the Royal Rumble, but neither one was backing down. In the end, both monsters were counted out for a draw! But not even that would stop them. They continued after the bell, and it was BRAUN who got the better of Kane. However, what does this mean for the Royal Rumble and the WWE Universal Championship?

 

Raw General Manager, Kurt Angle, comes to the ring.

Providence, Rhode Island welcomes The Olympic Gold Medalist with the signature “You Suck!”, Angle welcomes them to the show. Angle reviews the situation, that it was supposed to be either Strowman or Kane winning to move on to the Royal Rumble to face The Beast. However, Brock Lesnar is here tonight, and a #1 contender will be named before the end of Raw, but until then- “BRAUN!!” Yes, The Monster Among Men is here and he storms right out to the ring.

Strowman stares Angle in the eyes as he tells him “I earned the opportunity to face Brock Lesnar.” He was the last monster standing, that’s reason enough to pick Strowman as Lesnar’s opponent. However, Kane now appears.

“I’ve caused more destruction than anyone in the WWE for over 20 years.” Therefore, Kane will NOT let anyone cut in front of him. Lesnar’s “list of victims is impressive”, it even includes The Undertaker, but it does not include Kane. Kane will get his shot, unless the Monster Among Men is man enough to stop him. “Ladies and gentleman, my name is Paul Heyman.” And Heyman will not let this discussion continue without input from the “reigning, defending, undisputed Universal Champion”, BROCK LESNAR!

Providence is now Suplex City as said champion appears and heads down to the ring. Lesnar stands across from Kane and Strowman, Angle hurries to make his announcement: a triple threat! Oh it’s true, it’s damn true. Angle hurries out of the ring now so that the three titans of Raw can circle each other.

And then it begins! Kane hits Lesnar, Strowman hits Kane, Lesnar clotheslines Strowman out, but Kane grabs Lesnar, only for Lesnar to break out. Lesnar lifts Kane, F5! The Beast picks up his title, how much longer will it be his title? Especially after Kane sits up after that impact…

 

Seth Rollins VS Samoa Joe!

The Architect was one half of the Raw Tag Team Champions until The New Day “pump faked” him and the Lunatic, and would’ve been champions again if not for The Destroyer. Rollins looks to settle the score with Joe tonight, can he avoid being put to sleep by the Coquina Clutch?

But wait, Jason Jordan appears instead?

Jordan knows Rollins wanted Joe, but so does Jordan. The thing is, Jordan is done asking. He respects Rollins, but if Rollins has a bone to pick with Joe, just wait to pick the bones after Jordan gets done with him. Rollins responds, he respects Jordan, too. Rollins understands the pressure Jordan is under, but this isn’t the time. However, Samoa Joe himself now appears!

Joe feels like “the belle of the ball” with so many dance partners. This is a complex problem with a simple solution: Jason Jordan VS Seth Rollins, the winner gets “beat down and put to sleep” by Joe. How wonderful, except the match was made, Samoa Joe VS Seth Rollins. Rollins wants Joe to mosey on down here while Jordan looks for his daddy’s approval somewhere else. Jordan shoves Rollins down! Rollins tries to laugh it off, Jordan dares him to bring it. The match is rescheduled just how Joe wanted it!

Seth Rollins VS Jason Jordan!

Joe moves to ringside and the bell rings, Rollins and Jordan circle. Jordan lunges, Rollins dodges and tries to talk sense into him, Jordan gets the takedown and the throw, then another. Rollins keeps it from being more than a one count, Jordan puts on a headlock. Fans rally, Rollins powers out, Jordan runs him over. JOrdan runs now, ROllins speeds things up, mule kick then he clotheslines Jordan out right in front of Joe. Joe mockingly coaches Jordan back into this as we go to break.

Raw returns and we find Jordan throwing shoulders into Rollins’ stomach at a corner. The referee backs Jordan off, Jordan whips but is reversed, jumps into a mule kick! Rollins clotheslines Jordan out, Rollins goes to the apron and jumps, Jordan catches him to ram him into barriers on the far side! Jordan puts Rollins in the corner, covers, TWO. The Gold-Blooded Son stalks Rollins, puts him in a corner and goes after the midsection again. Jordan now rams shoulders into Rollins’ back, then a corner to corner whip, cover, TWO. Rollins is rammed into one corner, but he chops back on Jordan. Jordan grabs Rollins to put him in a corner again, Rollins writhes and clutches his back. Jordan stretches Rollins, Joe likes that.

Rollins feeds off a fan rally, Jordan picks him up to go corner to corner again with those shoulder tackles. Jordan stares at Joe before running in, big shoulder tackle. Cover, TWO, Jordan gets frustrated. He drags Rollins up to knock him down with right hands, Rollins chops back again. Rollins whips Jordan, Jordan reverses into a backbreaker, TWO. Jordan returns to stretching Rollins, Rollins gets up again, fights back, Jordan gives him a knee, back suplex reversed to a crossbody, TWO! Jordan runs at Rollins, buckle shot!

Mule kick blocked, into an overhead suplex! Joe still likes what he sees as we go to another break.

Raw’s back again, Rollins rallies but is put on the apron. Rollins slingshots to guillotine legdrop Jordan down, then takes aim to springboard clothesline Jordan down!

Cover, TWO, and Jordan gets himself to a corner. Rollins stands up, stares Joe down before giving Jordan a corner forearm smash. Jordan ends up in another corner, Rollins runs in but is caught, and thrown with an overhead suplex! Cover, TWO, Joe chuckles to himself. Jordan goes for his back suplex, Rollins elbows out and goes for his finisher, but Jordan reverses that. Jordan is dumped outside, wrecking ball dropkick keeps him out, Rollins runs and DIVES! Rollins hits Jordan and the barrier, both men go down. Joe watches closely as a ring count begins. The count passes 7, both men in at 9! Rollins returns to the apron, swing kicks Jordan away, then springboards again, but into a Northern Light suplex roll through to a second!

TWO! Jordan grimaces, but he doesn’t lose focus as he stands up and looms over Rollins. Jordan puts Rollins up top, climbs up to join him, but Rollins resists. Rollins fights his way out and forearms Jordan down. Jordan is right back up but then right back down, FROG SPLASH! TWO! Rollins is running out of ideas, Jordan gets himself out of the ring. The Architect jumps from the apron and hits the flying knee attack! Rollins and Joe lock eyes and Joe gets up. Joe dares Rollins to do something or walk away, Rollins throws Jordan into Joe! Joe springs right up, SUPERKICK from Rollins!

Back into the ring, Rollins goes after Jordan, pick up, sunset flip, Jordan sits on it, TWO! Kingslayer knee hits, Rollins wins! But Joe is ready to attack, so Rollins goes after him in return. Things end up in the ring again, Rollins throwing hands but the referee backing him off, cheap shot from Joe before a yurinagi slam!

Now Joe unleashes on his former rival, “this is what you wanted!” The referees back Joe off, Joe and Rollins will meet down the line. Joe takes his frustrations out on Jordan with a clubbing clothesline! “You got what you wanted”, do Rollins and Jordan regret it?

 

Rollins demands a shot at Samoa Joe for tonight!

After what Joe did, Rollins wants Joe, but Angle can’t allow it. Dean Ambrose wants another shot at Joe, then, but now so does Jason Jordan. The Shield tells Jordan to get in line, Jordan says the line starts with him. Angle makes it a 6 Man Tag, The Shield and Jordan against Samoa Joe and The Bar, nothing more. The Shield doesn’t feel like teaming with Jordan, and vice-versa, but will they pull it together to take out their common enemy?

 

Bray Wyatt speaks on Matt Hardy.

What is it that draws the WWE Universe to WOKEN Matt Hardy? His voice? The words he speaks? His childish laugh? Bray thinks it is the funny faces he makes. It’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt, “and that’s where I come in.” Bray is here to make sure the “right people” get hurt.

That means Matt Hardy and the WWE Universe. If Hardy wants to continue this little game, Bray will play along. Bray wants Matt to apologize to all his loved ones, for The Great War must end. “Run.”

 

2v1 Handicap Match: Finn Balor VS The Miztourage!

The Extraordinary Man already defeated Bo Dallas & Curt Axel 1v1, can he defeat both of them at the same time?

The bell rings, Bo starts and circles with Finn. Bo backs Finn down but Finn slips out of the way so that he won’t be trapped. The Miztourage talks strategy, Bo and Finn tie up, Bo tries to drag Finn to Miztourage territory but Finn breaks free. Axel tags in to try his hand, he and Finn tie up, waistlock and Axel powers Finn towards his corner. Finn gets the standing switch and shoves Axel to the buckles, smiling as he knows he’s frustrating his opponents. Another tie up, Axel elbows Finn and finally gets him into his corner for shoulder rams. BO tags in and stomps away, then tags Axel to keep up the stomping.

Axel embraces the heat as fans boo and jeer, Finn fights back! Finn throws forearms and elbows but Axel kicks him down. Axel whips, Finn reverses, sunset flip rolled through for dropkick, TWO. Finn puts on the chinlock, grinding Axel on the mat. Axel gets up and puts Finn on ropes for the ropebreak, Bo tries the cheap shot but gets decked, Axel pounces with a clothesline. Axel stomps Finn in a corner, then drags him up and over to the Miztourage corner, tag to Bo. Another mudhole stomp, then Bo reels Finn in for a lariat, TWO. Bo locks on the chinlock, fans rally, Finn feeds off the energy but Bo gives him a knee and put shim in a corner. Finn boots and chops out, Bo kicks low and whips, Finn ducks and rallies with forearm smashes. Finn trips up Bo, double stomp! Axel breaks the pin and rains down rights. The referee backs Axel off, Bo rolls to the tag, Axel is right on Finn again. Axel puts Finn in a corner, hoists him up, rocks him with a right, then climbs up to join him. Finn fights back, knocks Axel down, Bo saves Axel from the finish. Bo and Axel attack together, the match is disqualified!

The Miztourage doesn’t care, they continue to go after Finn. Fans boo and jeer, Finn takes stomps and knees, HIDEO ITAMI appears! He rushes in and evens the numbers! Itami kicks Axel up and down, then Finn feeds Bo to Itami’s roundhouse!

Balor and Itami stand tall, is their friendship from NXT still strong?

Finn Balor & Hideo Itami VS The Miztourage!

This match was made out of the chaos from a moment ago, can the debuting Itami help his long time friend ruin the night for The Miztourage?

Finn tags Itami, ax handle to Bo’s arm. Itami gives a shoulderbreaker than an arm wrench, Finn tags in. Finn climbs up, ax handle to Bo’s arm again. Finn wrenches that arm, Axel distracts and Bo rakes eyes to then clobber Finn with a lariat. Bo rolls Finn and tags Axel, Axel stomps away. Finn fights back but Axel knees low, whip into the backbreaker, TWO. Axel puts Finn in an armlock and grabs at the chin, fans rally and Finn gets up again, only for Axel to throw him down. Itami protests, Axel knees and stomps Finn again. Axel snapmares and drives in a knee, then returns to the armlock. Fans rally again, Finn gets up but ends up in the Miztourage corner. Bo tags in, clobbers with a clothesline then feeds to Axel’s knee! Cover, TWO! The Miztourage keeps Finn in their corner, tag to Axel, Axel snapmares and puts on another chinlock. Fans start another rally, Axel whips Finn to a corner, Finn dodges and Axel hits buckles. Both men crawl to their corners, hot tag to Itami! Itami rallies on The Miztourage, Tornado Hotshot before a big flying clothesline!

TWO, but Itami keeps on Axel. Whip reversed, Itami kicks and then lights Axel up with a strike fest before a bicycle knee! Bo breaks the pin, Slingblade from Finn! Finn clotheslines Bo out, Itami gives a dropkick to Axel. Finn gives a dropkick to Bo at the barriers, taking him out. Itami calls for the finish, fireman’s carry, Go To Sleep!

Itami & Balor win! Now that’s a way to make a Raw debut! Can Itami do the same when he hits the Cruiserweight Division and 205 Live?

 

Backstage interview with Cedric Alexander.

The Carolina Kid is moments away from his Cruiserweight Championship #1 Contender Match. With Enzo Amore always looming, is Alexander worried? Alexander wants to be champion so bad, he can taste it. He wants to show Enzo, 205 Live, Raw, and all of the WWE Universe what Cruiserweights are made of. But since that can’t be done in one night, Alexander will just take full advantage of tonight’s opportunity. The only time he’ll overlook Drew Gulak is when he’s looking down at him on the mat with Alexander’s hand raised in victory. Can Alexander make the best of this second chance and become the #1 contender?

 

WWE Cruiserweight Championship #1 Contender’s Match: Cedric Alexander VS Drew Gulak!

The ‘Zo Train’s Certified G Conductor wants his lackey to make sure the Carolina Kid does not become his nxt challenger, can “Gabba Gulak” do what is needed for a #Better205Live?

Enzo claims the “G-Force” is strong with Gulak, and even passes him his mic. Gulak sees himself as the JarJar Binks of the ‘Zo Train! And tonight, this is the biggest match of GUlak’s career, which he owes to his mentor and best friend, Enzo Amore! To show his appreciation, Gulak has an “Enzo Amore Tribute Edition” of hiiii– Not even the drum roll?

The bell rings, Enzo takes his leave from ringside to join commentary, Gulak and Alexander circle. They tie up, Alexander backs Gulak to a corner, then honors the break. Gulak circles with Alexander again, Gulak gets the takedown and a toehold, Alexander rolls and slips out to put on a headlock. Alexander holds on, gets the takeover, Gulak gets up and powers out. Gulak swings, Alexander rolls and handspring headscissors to then dropkick Gulak down and out. Enzo is disappointed, Alexander FLIES!

Gulak goes down, Alexander points at Enzo, Enzo gets upset. Back into the ring, TWO, Alexander brings Gulak up for a chop. Gulak gets to a corner, Alexander gives him another chop. Alexander gets caught in the waistlock but slips around to the facelock, standing switch from Gulak. Alexander puts the facelock back on, Gulak reverses, the two fight over who gets to suplex who, they end up suplexing each other out of the ring! Both men down while we go to break.

Raw returns, Gulak has Alexander in a corner and whips him corner to corner hard. Enzo points out the fans chanting for him while Gulak stalks Alexander. Gulak drags Alexander up for another corner to corner whip and then a big clothesline, cover, TWO. Gulak drags Alexander up again, chops him to a corner, then whips corner to corner a third time. Alexander dodges, yanks Gulak in but his own back keeps him from hitting the Lumbar Check. Gulak clobbers Alexander with a clothesline! TWO! Alexander writhes while Enzo brags about his great leadership status. Gulak looms over Alexander again and pulls back those arms in a half-surfboard. Alexander endures, fans rally, Gulak pulls harder. Alexander refuses to quit, he powers up and out of the hold. Right hand rocks Gulak, then a boot, then an uppercut. Gulak runs, Alexander dodges and throws Gulak with a body drop! Alexander fires up, he rallies on Gulak, Gulak fights back, but Alexander shoves Gulak away. Gulak gets under the jump, sunset flip, TWO, high stack, TWO, takedown and jackknife, TWO! They spin around, backslide blocked, Gulak runs, into the Spanish Fly!

TWO! Even Enzo has to give credit to Alexander for that one. Alexander gets up and takes off the elbow pads, he gives stiff shots to Gulak. Gulak is punch drunk but still shoves Alexander, handspring enziguri blocked into an Ankle Lock, but then Alexander kicks back. Gulak stomps Alexander on the front and back, and into the standing STF! Alexander endures as Gulak stretches him back, but he still crawls for ropes. It becomes a bow & arrow lock, Alexander still gets the ropebreak! Gulak has to let go, Enzo goes to his phone?

Enzo leaves, Gulak notices, Alexander kicks Gulak back. Gulak forearms and chops Alexander, Alexander throws hands as well. Both men are dazed, Gulak kicks but is blocked, stiff back elbow from Alexnader before the springboard flying lariat! Alexander is fired up, Lumbar Check!! ALexander wins and is the #1 Contender! The ‘Zo Train is slowing down, can Alexander hop off with the title?

 

Enzo Amore searches backstage, and finds Nia Jax.

“Well what do we got over here?” Enzo got the DM, Nia wants to finish the conversation. Unless Enzo is worried about his friend. Friend? No, Gulak is his employee. Enzo has thought it over, and knows the answer is on the tip of Nia’s tongue. Gulak appears, bloody nose stuffed up.

He wants to own up to his failings, and wants Enzo to know he lost. That’s fine, just clean yourself up. NO, it’s not alright! Gulak let Enzo down, and the ‘Zo Train down, they need to talk. Nia will let them talk, and will catch Enzo another time. Gulak continues, he wants to review tape. They can go over it together- You did a LOT wrong, Drew! A lot! Enzo storms off, what is Nia after?

 

Asuka VS Alicia Fox!

Since coming to Raw, The Empress of Tomorrow has kept her undefeated streak running, but Ms. Crazy Like a Fox wants to try one more time. Is third time the charm for the Foxy veteran?

The bell rings, Foxy is wary, Asuka is all smiles. Fans know “Asuka’s gonna kill you~” and sing as such. The two circle, Asuka chasing Foxy, but Foxy uses ropes for safety. Fans still chant for Asuka as she pursues Foxy around the ring, Foxy kicks but is blocked, Asuka gets the waistlock. Asuka shifts to a headlock, Foxy powers out, Asuka runs her over. Things speed up, Asuka does a little shake. Foxy runs, Asuka follows, spinning takedown and Foxy gets to ropes to prevent the submission hold. Asuka waits for Foxy in the ring, goes at her at the ropes, Foxy hotshots and boots Asuka down! TWO! Foxy hammers away on Asuka, drags her up, arm wrench then Northern Lights, TWO! Foxy is getting frustrated, she puts on a chinlock to grind Asuka down. Fans rally for Asuka, Asuka endures and fights out, Foxy gives her a forearm, that only fires Asuka up. Another forearm, Asuka fires up more, then fires off forearms of her own. Asuka whips, Foxy reverses, Asuka hops up for the missile dropkick! Asuka keeps going, she hits Foxy with the hip attack in the corner. She throws Foxy by her hair, buzzsaw kick! Roll into the armbar, Foxy taps out and Asuka wins again! Does anyone stand a chance of defeating the Empress?

 

6 Man Tag: Jason Jordan & The Shield VS Samoa Joe & The Bar!

GM Angle made this match because his Gold-Blooded Son, The Architect and the Lunatic wanted to get their hands on The Destroyer. Can Jordan, Rollins and Ambrose put their differences aside to defeat Joe and the Raw Tag Team Champions?

The bell rings, Rollins starts and wants Joe, Joe doesn’t care. Sheamus starts, so Jordan tags in. The Gold-Blooded Son wants to prove himself against the Celtic Gladiator, but gives a cheap shot to Joe before throwing hands on Sheamus. Sheamus whips Jordan, Jordan fights back but gets run over! Joe tags in now, he makes Jordan pay for the cheap shot with stomps and jabs. Joe grounds Jordan with those jabs then grinds Jordan with his hands, tag to Cesaro. The Swiss Cyborg gives Jordan a European Uppercut, then another, tag to Sheamus, Sheamus stomps a mudhole into Jordan. Joe and Cesaro get cheap shots of their own now, Sheamus runs to hit a knee drop, TWO.

Sheamus tags Cesaro, Cesaro then climbs up for a falling stomp. Cover, TWO, Cesaro is right on Jordan with a chinlock. The Shield coach Jordan, Jordan reaches then suplexes Cesaro off him. Jordan crawls, Rollins tags in and springboards to rally on The Bar. Slingblade for Cesaro, a shot for Joe, Cesaro rolls up but Rollins reverses into his own, TWO, mule kick! TWO, Rollins keeps moving as he stalks Cesaro. Cesaro elbows Rollins and puts him on the apron, slingshot guillotine brings Cesaro down. Rollins slingshots again, Ambrose backs him up against Joe and The Bar, we go to break.

Raw returns as Sheamus gives Rollins a knee into a corner, then a sharp forearm into Rollins’ back. Rollins goes to ropes, Sheamus chokes him, the referee backs him off. Sheamus brings Rollins up, tags Joe, Rollins fails to escape before Joe clobbers him down. Joe brings Rollins up for knee strikes that back Rollins down, Joe jabs away in The Bar’s corner. Joe snapmares Rollins into a modified cobra clutch, Ambrose tries to get Rollins back into this. Fans rally, Rollins gets up and hits a jawbreaker, but Joe runs him over again!

Cover, TWO, Joe tags Sheamus. Sheamus drags Rollins over, up, tag to Cesaro, elbow drop backbreaker! Cesaro covers, TWO, so he chokes Rollins on the ropes. The referee backs Cesaro off, Sheamus gives Rollins a stiff knee! Another cover, Jordan protests, TWO! Ambrose and Jordan both protest but calm down while Cesaro brings Rollins up. Fans boo and jeer, Sheamus tags in but Rollins fights them both! Sheamus still gets the Irish Curse backbreaker, then drags a limp Rollins up for a second! Fans boo and jeer again, Sheamus brings Rollins up but Rollins slips out to DDT Sheamus! Jordan and Ambrose fire up, as do fans, Rollins and Sheamus crawl, hot tag to Joe, Joe intercepts Rollins. Joe whips Rollins then hits the back elbow and PELE! Jordan breaks the pin then goes after Joe, The Bar goes after Jordan and throws him out. Joe returns, drags Rollins over, tags Sheamus. Sheamjs lifts Rollins, Rollins slips around to a sunset flip, TWO. Sheamus runs at Rollins, Rollins dodges, Sheamus hits post!

Ambrose is hyped up, Rollins crawls, hot tag to Cesaro who intercepts Rollins again. Cesaro has Rollins in a facelock and on the far side of the ring. Fans rally, Rollins feeds of it and powers Cesaro back once, then twice, then a third time, the two are evenly matched until Cesaro knees Rollins and throws him out. The ref keeps Cesaro back, that allows Sheamus and Joe to attack, so Ambrose and Jordan go after them! The four men brawl, Sheamus goes into a post, Joe puts Jordan into the timekeeper’s area, Ambrose clobbers Joe. Then Cesaro comes in, gets a body drop to the floor! Ambrose gets Rollins int he ring, then himself to the corner, calling for the tag! Rollins crawls as fast as he can, but Cesaro boots Ambrose down. Rollins clotheslines Cesaro out, then dumps Joe out, then builds speed to DIVE!

He wipes out everyone, even Ambrose, Ambrose flails in pain. The referee needs a medic to check on Ambrose but the match must continue. Rollins in, BROGUE! Cesaro covers but the ref is slow tot he count, The Bar & Joe still win! Will Jordan, Ambrose and Rollins be able to avenge this loss?

 

Who is this arriving at Raw?

The limousine door opens to reveal… Raw Commissioner, Stephanie McMahon! What business does she have with her Red Roster tonight?

 

WOKEN Matt Hardy responds to Bray Wyatt.

Hardy plays chess, and has Napoleon in checkmate. His forces have been ERADICATED! But there is no need for the foul language, fish of gold.

You always had a complex. When Napoleon inhabits another human vessel, Hardy will be up for a rematch. The vast battlefield that is the WWE is much like a chessboard. Everything must be precise, because one wrong move leads to ANNIHILATION! Hardy and Wyatt have been doing “this twisted little tango” since the beginning of time, his light shines brighter than any shadow Wyatt’s darkness may cast. “Now that the new battlefield has been set”, Hardy stands beside his WOKEN WARRIORS in this Great War. Wyatt and his evil Highness, Queen Abigail, must be stopped. They must be… DELETED!!

 

Medics check on Ambrose’s arm.

That’s when Joe & The Bar attack him and Rollins backstage! The Destroyer and the Raw Tag Team Champions let Rollins know “you are never safe” before crushing Ambrose’s arm inside a trunk door! If Ambrose’s arm wasn’t broken, it might be now. What will the consequences be for this heinous attack?

 

Heath Slater & Rhyno VS The Revival!

Dash Wilder & Scott Dawson are finally back on Raw, can they continue where they left off?

The bell rings, Rhyno starts with Wilder, Wilder powers out of the headlock but gets run over. Rhyno tags Slater, double whip and double elbow, cover, TWO. Slater grabs Wilder but Wilder reverses, we see that Titus Worldwide and new statistician Dana Brooke are watching closely.

Wilder clubs Slater, tags Dawson, boot bump into some mugging. Dawson gives a big uppercut, whips Slater corner to corner but is reversed, Slater hits a forearm smash. Slater is fired up as he whips Dawson corner to corner, Wilder saves Dawson, Dawson clobbers Slater with a lariat. Dawson rains down fast rights, then brings Slater over to tag Wilder, for a double yank and slam. Cover, TWO, but The Revival keeps Slater isolated. Slater tries to fight out but Wilder clobbers him with another uppercut before wrapping on a chinlock. Wilder keeps Slater down, Slater throws Wilder down by his head. Hot tag to Dawson, Dawson intercepts but takes a heel kick! Wilder stomps Slater down, goes after Rhyno but gets knocked into Slater. Rhyno rallies for Slater, Wilder trips him off the apron. Slater clobbers Wilder, then throws hands with Dawson. Dawson headlocks, Wilder tags, Slater runs into the SHATTER MACHINE! The Revival wins their return, how will they change Raw’s tag team landscape?

 

Raw Commissioner talks to Raw GM.

We can’t hear what they’re saying, but it can only mean big things for Raw.

 

Heath Slater & Rhyno encounter Kurt Angle backstage.

That was a tough loss, Angle appreciates the effort. However, these two need to step it up before the end of the new year if they want more opportunities. Wait, what does that mean? Is Slater getting let go? He’s got kids, man! Rhyno tells Slater to relax, and explains that Angle wants them to change. Into new clothes? Slater just got these tights! No, not that way. Their attitudes need to change, in order to keep up with The Bar and The Revival. Slater needs to toughen up, and Rhyno knows how. Is this gonna hurt…?

 

“Ladies and gentlemen: Elias.”

The Drifter has come to Providence, and seems to be in the Christmas mood. “Who wants to walk with Elias?!” Providence gives a solid response. Elias mentions Tom Brady, they’ve crossed paths. Tom came up to him once and said “your music is the soundtrack to my success.” Tom listens to Elias during pregame rituals, such as deflating footballs and manipulating the rules. If Brady is a legend, then so is Elias. Elias has taken Roman to the limit, survived Braun Strowman, and Angle is afraid of what Elias can become. Angle should be, for Elias vows he will put on the performance of the year by entering and winning the Royal Rumble match! But for tonight, this song isn’t for New England, but for a good friend of his: Roger Goodell. But his song, is interrupted by #BossTime!

Elias greets Sasha and wants to continue, but then Mickie James makes her entrance. The Drifter lets this interruption slide, “All the women want to walk with Elias.” But then Bayley appears!

Elias takes his guitar and walks, and even refuses a hug. The Drifter’s mood aside, it is time for The Boss, the Hugger and the veteran to team up again and face Absolution!

6 Woman Tag: Absolution VS Mickie James, Bayley & Sasha Banks!

There is a war within the Raw Women’s Division thanks to the Glampire returning with the Gladiator and Golden Rose by her side to beat down those who did not give her credit for the Women’s Revolution. However, this resulted in the Raw Women’s Division uniting against Paige and her allies, will Absolution be halted already?

Paige and Mickie start, the bell rings, Paige runs to ropes. The referee backs Mickie off, Paige gets a cheap shot, Mickie fires off forearms and kicks to rock Paige. Mickie brings Paige over, tag to Sasha, double suplex. Sasha covers, ONE, Paige rocks Sasha with a forearm. Paige whips Sasha, Sasha kicks back, Mandy gets involved as a distraction, Paige kicks Sasha down. Paige covers, TWO, she brings Sasha over. Tag to Mandy, she stomps a mudhole into Sasha. Tag to Sonya, she throws hands on the former Raw Women’s Champion. Sonya tags Paige, Paige stomps away on Sasha. Paige roars, “This is MY house!” Sasha fights her way out of Absolution’s corner but Paige runs her over, cover, TWO. Paige brings Sasha back, stomps her out, Sonya and Mandy get cheap shots while Paige goes after Mickie and Bayley. Paige kicks Mickie right off the apron, then sicks Sonya & Mandy on Bayley & Mickie, respectively.

Bayley and Mickie hold their own, but Absolution eventually knocks them down. Meanwhile, Sasha is climb up top, she aims at Paige, flying seated senton! Mandy breaks the pin, Absolution pounces on Sasha. The referee shouts at them, he has to throw the match out because of the pack mentality. Paige has Absolution get Sasha up for another kick, but Nia Jax comes to the rescue!

The Brutal Beauty stares Absolution down, it snaps off! Paige hides in a corner while Nia shoves and knocks Sonya and Mandy down in turn. Mandy and Sonya are stacked in a corner, Nia takes them both for a DOUBLE Samoan Drop!

Paige chop blocks and hits a Shining Wizard! Paige stomps away on Nia, then demands her sidekicks get up. Absolution stomps 3v1, the rest of Raw’s women flood the ring! Absolution is outnumbered once again, so Raw Commissioner Stephanie McMahon comes out to bring order.

Stephanie tells every woman present that “Three years ago, a revolution started in the WWE.” And now this has become an evolution, Divas became Women Superstars, main-eventing everything from Raw to SmackDown to NXT and Pay-Per-views. This year alone saw the first ever Women’s Hell in a Cell, the first ever Women’s Money in the Bank, and even the first ever women’s match in the Middle East. “This is hope!” They inspire fans around the world by passion and talent, “but that’s not enough.” The women will make history once more… in a Women’s Royal Rumble!! The fans chant “YES! YES!” at this exciting news! WWE’s women will be making history, but who will make the biggest impact as the inaugural Women’s Royal Rumble winner?!

 

My Thoughts:

This was an interesting episode of Raw. It appeared to be going in a sour direction but then somehow kept from turning into a slosh. Angle plays his part perfectly in the opening segment, he was as scared of Lesnar, Kane and Strowman being in one area as anyone would be, and wanted to get out immediately. The triple threat makes the most sense, because feeding Strowman 1v1 a second time is a shame, and Kane isn’t believable 1v1 anymore. At the same time, it makes Lesnar come off even stronger if he overcomes both behemoths in one match, or smarter if he uses them against each other. Jason Jordon continues to evolve his character in a good way, and continues to make enemies of everyone since he gets in Rollins’ way as well as Joe’s. Joe and The Bar “injure” Ambrose to perhaps throw a twist where Rollins must team with Jordan in order to defeat their common foe.

Itami’s debut surprised me, we only heard he was appearing on 205 Live. Cruiserweights show up on Raw, sure, but I was actually hoping The Club would finally side with Finn. Itami & Finn win to keep both men strong, especially Itami, and now we look to what Itami will do on Tuesday’s 205 Live. The Cruiserweights also impressed again in the #1 contender’s match, Alexander wins because it is again a little too soon for Gulak to turn Face (apparently). Gulak’s turn will still be something great, and perhaps it’ll come during the Cruiserweight Championship match. Then the filler appeared. Asuka wins because she’s Asuka and no one is ready to break her streak, The Revival wins because they’re finally back and just need to win. I thought Elias was going to have a filler match, but nope! The women close Raw with a match that is really filler to set up Stephanie’s massive announcement! The Women’s Rumble will be great, gives both Raw and SmackDown something to talk about, and I for one look forward to it.

My Score: 8/10


Let us know what you think on social media @theCHAIRSHOTcom and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
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Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (7/15/19)

BrrrOCK! LESNARRR!

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It’s the Raw After Extreme Rules!

And there’s a not-so-new WWE Universal Champion! What is going to happen now that once Raw is once again under the reigning, defending, undisputed Universal Heavyweight Champion, BROCK LESNAR!?

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Best 2 out of 3 Falls Six Man Tag: Ricochet & The Usos VS Robert Roode & The Revival; Ricochet & The Usos win.
  • The Viking Raiders VS Vinnie Rooner & Jackson James; The Viking Raiders win.
  • Drew McIntyre VS Cedric Alexander; wins.
  • Finn Balor VS Samoa Joe; wins.
  • Raw Women’s Championship #1 Contender Fatal 4 Way: Natalya VS Naomi VS Carmella VS Alexa Bliss; wins and will face Becky Lynch for the title at Summerslam.
  • WWE Universal Championship #1 Contender “Cross Brand All-Star Top 10” Battle Royal: wins and will challenge Brock Lesnar for the title at Summerslam.

PLAY BY PLAY

Raw makes Long Island into Suplex City!

And that’s because Paul Heyman brings The Beast with him! The Advocate and the NEW Universal Champion enter the ring and Heyman gives his introductions, and is happy to shout he is with the “reigning, defending, undisputed Universal Champion, BRRROCK! LESNARRR!” But what amazes Heyman the most is that he told the truth, and fans would rather he told a lie. Heyman isn’t much for an “I told you so,” but he told you so. He told the WWE Universe last night during Extreme Rules that Lesnar would cash-in, and he did! #WeToldYouSo. Don’t boo that, boo yourselves for not believing.

But another group that needs to listen to the “told you so” is the WWE roster. Rollins wasn’t going to be the challenger and there needed to be a new one, but no one stepped up. Heyman has the stroke right now, wink wink. So Heyman has the how for who will be Lesnar’s Summerslam opponent. Lesnar is not the easiest Beast to negotiate with. Just ask UFC. Lesnar fights when, where and how he wants. So Heyman’s plan will be the “Cross Branded, Top Ten All Star Battle Royal!” And of course, the winner of this tongue twister gets to make history in Toronto by being beaten, victimized and conquered by Brrrock! Lesnarrr! But who are the top ten all-stars? Here they are! Will it be Seth Rollins, Randy Orton, Big E, Cesaro, Braun Strowman, Rey Mysterio, Baron Corbin, Sami Zayn, Bobby Lashley or Roman Reigns that wins his way to the biggest party of the summer?

If Heyman were Roman, he’d take a rain check. Seth Rollins rode into Philadelphia like he was Becky Lynch’s Stud, and then Lesnar made Rollins into a “gelding.” Google it, Long Island. But the emasculated pony that steps up to Lesnar, you risk health, well-being and manhood. The promise and threat and spoiler from Heyman this time: if anyone has the opportunity to step into the ring with Lesnar, you risk all that and more, “because in this Universe, you’re all Brock’s b*tches.”

But as Brock and Heyman make their exits, the One and Only makes his entrance! Ricochet may not have an opportunity at Lesnar, but he’s just fighting to get back at the man who took his title. Will the King of Flight fly high for a chance at The Phenomenal One?

 

Best 2 out of 3 Falls Six Man Tag: Ricochet & The Usos VS Robert Roode & The Revival

Raw returns and hey, Uce. There’s unfinished business with the Lil’ Rascals. Pretty Ricky is ready to rock with Jimmy & Jey, and they’re going to welcome the GLORIOUS #TopGuys to the Uso Penitentiary!

The teams sort out and we begin with Scott Dawson and Jimmy Uso. SUPERKICK to Dawson with the bell! Dash runs in and gets a kick from Ricochet! Ricochet tags in, Recoil! Shooting star press, cover, the first fall is Ricochet’s!

Ricochet & Usos – 1; Roode & Revival – 0

Well that was fast. Roode is upset with the Revival already, but now he starts the second fall with Ricochet. They tie up and Roode knees low. Roode clubs then bumps Ricochet off buckles, then stomps a GLORIOUS mudhole in! Roode CHOPS Ricochet against the ropes, then whips him across the way. Ricochet rolls off Roode’s back to handspring and headscissor and dropkick! Cover, ONE! Roode won’t be beat so quick, but Ricochet drags him to the corner. Tag to Jey and he takes the hand-off. Jey whips but Roode reverses. Jey goes up and over to mule kick and pop-lock into a SPINEBUSTER! Roode covers, TWO!

Roode tags Dash and Roode feeds Jey to Dash’s knee. Dash throws European uppercuts then rips off Jey’s shirt. Dash clubs Jey but fans rally up as he chokes Jey on the ropes. The ref backs Dash off and then keeps an eye on Dawson. Dash CHOPS Jey but Jey uppercuts back. Dash throws Jey into the corner but Jey fights out! Jey walks into Dash’s kick then gets a scoop slam. Dash drops but misses his elbow, tag to Jimmy! Jimmy rallies and kicks to pop-lock and uppercut! Then the Samoan Drop! Jimmy fires up but has to hit Roode first. Dash whips and Dawson tags in, flapjack on Jimmy! Cover, the Revival tie things up!

Ricochet & Usos – 1; Roode & Revival – 1

The Raw Tag Team Champions keep their trio in this, and we go to break!

Raw returns for the third and final fall. The bell rings and Dawson corner clotheslines Jimmy. Dawson snap suplexes, then drops an elbow, a leg and the headbutt. Cover, TWO! Another try, TWO! Tag to Dash, and the Revival work together to rope guillotine Jimmy! Dash covers, TWO! The Revival and Roode grow frustrated but they’re still in control. Dash drags Jimmy up to an abdominal stretch but fans rally as Jimmy endures. Jimmy works his way out and arm-drags Dash away. Dash grabs Jimmy to keep him from his corner! Jimmy punches Dash but can’t get free. Dash reels Jimmy back into the stretch, but gets a hip toss! Dawson tags in and tackles Jimmy while Dash hits Jey. But Jimmy dragon whips and dropkicks! Hot tags to Roode and Ricochet!

Ricochet bumps and boots Roode, then springboards for the flying clothesline! Ricochet dropkicks Dawson down! He tosses Dash out and Jey FLIES! But Roode kicks Ricochet, only for Ricochet to roll him up. Roode slips out, but gets a RECOIL! Ricochet hurries up top, 630 senton! Cover, Ricochet & the Usos win!

Winners: Ricochet & The Usos, Ricochet pinning

But to ruin the celebration, it’s The Club! AJ Styles wears the WWE United States Championship proudly, but Ricochet DIVES right onto him! Gallows and Anderson go after Ricochet but the Usos go after them! But The Revival go after the Usos! To get SUPERKICKS! SUPERKICK for Anderson, SUPERKICKS for Gallows! And then the Usos run, but Roode drags Jimmy out to throw him into barriers! Jey grabs Roode but gets a hotshot, into the SHATTER MACHINE! Roode has the Revival go after Jey more, but Ricochet springboards to crossbody them all! But Styles snipes Ricochet with that Phenomenal Forearm! The Club gets the better of Roode again, as they feed him to the MAGIC KIILLER!

“That’s what you get?! You have no idea who you’re messing with!” That is Styles’ message to the One and Only and anyone else who wants to step to The Club! Who will dare step to them for a chance at the US Championship?

 

The Viking Raiders VS Vinnie Rooner & Jackson James!

The war comes to Long Island! Their team name is a birthright for Erik and Ivar, and they will rain down mayhem on any fools that stand before them! Those fools tonight clearly don’t know what they’re in for, because they’re still here. How long will Long Island’s own even last?

The bell rings and Erik powers Rooner right to the corner! Tag to Ivar and Rooner is fed to the knee, then another knee. Ivar throws Jackson in for Erik’s shotgun knees! Ivar then goes corner to corner to splash Rooner and bronco buster Jackson! Then Erik uses Ivar as a human weapon to smash Rooner in the corner! Cover but Ivar wants to do more. He tags Erik back in and they haul Jackson up for a scoop slam backbreaker, to gutbuster, to German lariat combo! And of course, Rooner gets THOR’S HAMMER! Cover, the Viking Raiders win!

Winners: The Viking Raiders, Erik pinning

Another team has been sent to Valhalla after going through the #VikingExperience. Who else will experience the war these two viking machines bring?

 

Drew McIntyre storms into the Raw locker room.

After he and Shane McMahon lost to Roman Reigns and The Undertaker, the Scottish Terminator is in no mood to have the other superstars laughing it up. Does Cedric Alexander think he’s funny with that trick last week? Well when it comes to challenging competition, Alexander is up to the task. How inspirational. But McIntyre will get Alexander back for sticking his nose into someone else’s business. McIntyre will dismantle and dismember Alexander. Kidding! That’s illegal. But he will humble Alexander. He will eviscerate him. Well Alexander has heard how humble he is, but the joke tonight will be on McIntyre. Does the former Cruiserweight Champion know what he’s getting himself into with an angry Scottish Psychopath?

 

Drew McIntyre VS Cedric Alexander!

Raw returns and the business between these two men will be settled already! Alexander was standing up to help Roman, but will he regret it?

 


Let us know what you think on social media @theCHAIRSHOTcom and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
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(NOAH) WEEKLY NEWSLETTER VOL.43 ~ 14TH JULY 2019

Global Junior Tag League has started! Hisame let’s us know what’s going on in Pro Wrestling NOAH!

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Global Junior Tag League has started! Hisame let’s us know what’s going on in Pro Wrestling NOAH!

CURRENT TOUR RECAP
After a long break in which it was thought that due to the silence coming from the roster, they had all gone on a short summer break, NOAH returned on the 12th July to hold a show in Tokorozawa.

In Global Junior Tag League, YO-HEY defeated Junta Miyawaki (although he did praise him afterwards in a rambling promo), and Chris Ridgeway defeated fellow STINGER, Kotaro Suzuki by making him tap.

Minoru Tanaka vs Daisuke Harada for Global Junior League, was the main event of the evening, and what a match it was. They pulled everything out of every drawer they had, Tanaka worked on Harada’s knee, while Harada worked on the neck. The match went to a thirty minute draw, and both spoke afterwards about it. Minoru Tanaka says that he won today, and he will win the league. He also mentioned that he wants to see more junior matches main event shows.

Daisuke Harada said that he would not let “that stranger” win, and he would challenge for the belt again, whether the fans liked it or not.

Takashi Sugiura and Hajime Ohara took on Masao Inoue and Kinya Okada, and there was the usual amusing Inoue\Sugiura interplay. Earlier in the evening, joining in with Marufuji not remembering Kenoh’s name, and vice versa, Takashi Sugiura joined in, but changed it so that he couldn’t remember Masao Inoue’s name. Inoue is a sufferer of gout, and naturally Sugiura targeted his foot by keeping him in the ankle lock after Kinya Okada had tapped, and then when his arms were lifted in victory, he continued stamping on Inoue’s foot.

Speaking of Marufuji and Kenoh, Kenoh (when the team of Marufuji, Yoshinari Ogawa, Hiroshi Yamato and Keisuke Ishii took on Kongoh), timed it just right when Marufuji bounced into the ring, landed and turned so that he was there waiting for him, and they both got in each others face. Inamura was chopped to ribbons.

As Go Shiozaki was still absent (he will return to the ring on the 15th), Katsuhiko Nakajima came to the ring carrying both of the tag belts. As he said at the match signing which took place on the 13th June, he was preparing more for the GHC Heavyweight than the singles, and so he started the match off against Kaito Kiyomiya. However, it wasn’t Nakajima who took the win, but Kaito Kiyomiya with the Tiger Suplex on Hi69.

EVENT RECAPS

Tokorozawa City Gymnasium, Sub Arena (12th July 2019)
Post match promos – 12th July 2019

Current Global Junior League Scores (as of July 14th 2019)

BLOCK A

Minoru Tanaka 5
Daisuke Harada 3
Yoshinari Ogawa 2
Tadasuke 2
YO-HEY 2
Junta Miyawaki 0

BLOCK B

HAYATA 4
Chris Ridgeway 4
Hajime Ohara 2
Hitoshi Kumano 2
Kotaro Suzuki 0
Hi69 0

NEWS

“THE COMPANY DOG”

In keeping in the theme of using pets on merchandise (a silhouette of one of Hitoshi Kumano’s little French Bulldog appeared on the back of one of his t-shirts, and Akitoshi Saito had a cat t-shirt) continued when NOAH put the head of Takashi Sugiura’s beloved Shiba Inu on a t-shirt, complete with dog tags which read “company dog”. Naturally, this was a shot at Kongoh (in specific Kenoh, as he is the only one who speaks), who are currently feuding with The Sugiura Army, and the use of the phrase “Company dog” (i.e. someone who does his masters bidding unquestionably, comes goes, fetches, wags tail etc).

The t-shirt will be released on the 15th July at Korakuen Hall, with mail order to follow (a white version is also available).

NAOMICHI MARUFUJI’S COMIC STRIP
Naomichi Marufuji has started illustrating a comic for “Weekly Pro”. The comic is a condensed version of his autobiography, “Heir To The Ark”, and starts off with his childhood growing up in Saitama with three older brothers, and wrestling with them which inspired his love of the sport. The comic starts off with two of his brothers arguing about who they are going to be, then they tell little Marufuji that they feel sorry for him, as being the youngest and the smallest, he is going to get it from them (which he did in reality), and Marufuji fighting back by saying that Tiger Mask (Mitsuharu Misawa) is strong.

You can find an ongoing translation on my blog.

TAKAYAMANIA

The main event for TAKAYAMANIA EMPIRE 2 will be Hideki Suzuki and Minoru Suzuki vs Naomichi Marufuji and Masato Tanaka. Event will be held on Monday, August 26 2019 at Korakuen Hall.

Broadcast most likely will be through ABEMA (a Japanese PPV subscription channel, only available to those in Japan).

CURRENT CHAMPIONS

TOUR TIDBITS
~ HAYATA’S garden has produced Daikon. YO-HEY celebrated by putting it in his mouth.
~ NOAH held a joint fan birthday party for Kaito Kiyomiya and Junta Miyawaki. Miyawaki turned 22 in June, with Kiyomiya turning 23 this month.
~ Naomichi Marufuji says he has a new gown for Korakuen Hall on the 15th June
~ YO-HEY made a summer vacation to see his family in rural Yabu. One of his young nieces asked him if he was married to HAYATA.

BROADCASTS
NOAH’s big Kawasaki Kultz event (and the GHC Heavyweight title, plus the final night of Global Junior League 2019) will air on the 2nd August on G+ at 12.30am JST

NOAH will be broadcast live on Sunday 4th August at 11.30am JST on G+

GIF OF THE WEEK

LINKS
GHC Heavyweight tag & single championship signing

Picture credit: Noah GHC, PKDK, YO-HEY
GIF credit: Noah GHC


Let us know what you think on social media @theCHAIRSHOTcom and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
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