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Mitchell’s WWE Monday Night Raw Report! (12/25/17)

Published

6 years ago

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All images courtesy of the WWE’s official Twitter

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • John Cena VS Elias; Cena wins.
  • THE Brian Kendrick w/ Jack Gallagher VS Hideo Itami; Itami wins.
  • Six Woman Tag: Absolution VS Bayley, Sasha Banks & Mickie James; Absolution wins.
  • Kane VS Heath Slater w/ Rhyno; Kane wins.
  • Curt Hawkins VS Finn Balor; Finn wins.
  • Six Man Tag Miracle on 34th Street Fight: The ‘Zo Train VS Cedric Alexander, Mustafa Ali & Akira Tozawa; Alexander, Ali & Tozawa win.
  • WWE Intercontinental Championship: Roman Reigns VS Samoa Joe; Joe wins by disqualification, Reigns retains.
  • 2v1 Handicap Match: The Miztourage VS Braun Strowman; Strowman wins.
  • WWE Raw Tag Team Championships: The Bar VS Seth Rollins & Jason Jordan; Rollins & Jordan win and become the new Raw Tag Team Champions.

PLAY BY PLAY

JOHN CENA is in Chicago!

He enjoys the “Christmas carol” only the WWE Universe can give him as he heads to the ring. And he realizes something is wrong with this picture, so he heads back out of the ring. A fan is wearing the wrong shirt and hat, so Cena gives them his as a present.

“And on that note, Merry Christmas, Chicago!” The fans echo that sentiment by chanting “Merry Christmas!” The first broadcast on Christmas, the first time that chant has been said. Cena loves the holidays because they’re about togetherness. He always lets everyone know the WWE is his home, and the fans are his family. They’ve had ups and downs, but he still gives a cheer to everyone being together. Cena wanted to be right here, right now to- Wait, The Drifter interrupts.

“Hello, I am Elias.” He plays his guitar all the way down to the ring, then asks John Cena if he even knows what “WWE” stands for. It’s “Walk With Elias.” Elias therefore asks Chicago, “Who wants to walk with Elias?!” Some fans do, actually. Cena figures he might as well. That’s a smart decision, because for months, Elias has been interrupted and has had enough. Elias decided to interrupt someone else for once–pausing for the Chicago fans chanting “CM Punk!” and then saying that’s one man who definitely isn’t interrupting him–but Cena says it’s all good. Have some fun over the holidays. The fans continue their chant. Elias doesn’t care how much they chant, he’ll still perform. Cena asks that if Elias is performing- No, Elias doesn’t want to hear him out. He even puts a finger on Cena’s lips to shush him. Cena fetches Elias his stool, and lets him begin, spotlight and all. “Right now I need everyone to silence their cellphones, hold their applause and shut their mouths”, for Elias’ Christmas song. Fans still chant “CM Punk!” Elias blames Cena. “Well it’s Christmas time, Chicago. This is Christmas, today. I couldn’t imagine a worse place to spend my holiday~.” No, no! Cena stops Elias and this concert. Cena was giving Elias a chance, but Elias went and insulted Chicago. This isn’t a bad place, just look at all the people! Look at how excited they all are! Elias plays okay, but he always insults the audience! Elias speaks the truth. No you don’t. The fans aren’t jerks, Elias is the jerk.

The Drifter never saw it that way. And, it is Christmas. Maybe Cena’s right, maybe Elias is a jerk. Elias would like a second chance from Chicago. Chicago doesn’t seem willing to give that second chance. But, it is Christmas, so Cena is willing to. Elias starts again, “Well it’s Christmas time, Chicago. This is Christmas day. I can’t imagine a better place to spend my holiday~!” Cena, join in. “Have yourself, a merry little–” Sucker punch from Elias! “I don’t play for you, I don’t play for you, Christmas is overrated and so is Chicago.” Elias takes his mic out, but then gets an idea. He goes after Cena again! Elias stomps Cena out, then takes Cena’s mic and says he’s giving himself a gift: challenging Cena to a match to start off Raw!

John Cena VS Elias!

Christmas Raw is already off to a raucous start, the match is made official, Elias goes at Cena at the bell. He rains down rights and then stomps away, big elbow drop as well. Elias puts Cena in a corner for body shots and trash talk, then a right hand decks the 16 time world champion again. Fans duel with chants while Cena fights back. He whips Elias, hip toss and takeover, Cena gains control. Elias gets up, stomps on Cena’s foot before knocking him down with a right forearm. Cena gets to the apron, Elias goes out to drag him out and ram him against the apron edge. Elias then backs up, takes aim, and rams a knee right into Cena’s head. Cena tumbles down to the floor, Elias stalks him then brings him up by his jaw. Elias chops Cena against the barrier then puts him in the ring, cover, TWO. Elias keeps focus, he scoops and slams Cena at the ropes. Another cover, TWO. The fans are still rowdy, but some get on Elias’ side as he throws Cena again. Cover, TWO, Elias keeps his cool. Fans want “One more time!” so Elias rocks Cena with a forearm before placing Cena in the Tree of Woe. Elias stomps Cena in the ribs, fans duel with “Let’s go Cena!” “CM Punk!” while Elias climbs up and drags Cena up, draping double stomps!

TWO, and now Elias is getting frustrated. He puts Cena in an armlock, fans rally and Cena gets up. Cena fights back, whips Elias corner to corner, but Elias boots him down. Elias scoops Cena and puts him back in the Tree of Woe, for more shots to the ribs. Elias climbs up again, Cena resists, Cena dodges the stomps. Cena clotheslines Elias down, but falls down himself. The two recover as the fans rally, they get to their feet and brawl. Back and forth between Cena and Elias, Elias ducks to give a spin-out backbreaker to Cena, cover, TWO! Cena and Elias stir, but Elias is first to stand up. Elias decks Cena with another right, then trash talks as Cena climbs back up. Cena falls to another right hand, but he keeps moving. Elias gives Cena more strikes in a corner, stomping a mudhole into Cena. Elias climbs up top again, and brings Cena up with him. Cena resists Elias’ plan to then get the fireman’s carry. Elias gets the electric chair position, spin around for the sit-out powerbomb! TWO! Cena rolls out of the ring while Elias is frustrated in the center of the ring. The referee counts and Elias is willing to wait. The count reaches 8 when Cena gets in, Elias covers, TWO. Elias puts Cena in a chinlock to grind Cena down, even rolling Cena to add weight and pressure on him. Cena endures and wills himself to his feet. He powers his way out of Elias’ grip, Elias kicks low but Cena gets moving. Cena rallies with his signature shoulder tackles. Elias bails out, knowing what comes next, so Cena fetches him back into the ring, only for Elias to run him over with a lariat! Cover, TWO! Elias grabs Cena, backbreaker, TWO. Frustration grows as Elias looms over Cena. Cena stands up, Elias gives him another backbreaker, TWO. Elias toys with Cena now, then lifts him for another backbreaker, but Cena reverses into the STF! He reaches, endures, so Cena drags him away from ropes! Elias shoves Cena away, then strikes with a knee, knocking Cena down. Cena rolls out before Elias can cover, then climbs back up. Elias goes after Cena while the fans duel again, throwing right hand after right hand. Cena shoulders in, slingshots over, and rolls Elias into the STF! Elias endures, reaches for ropes, drags himself over, and gets the ropebreak. Cena lets go, brings Elias up for a whip, Elias reverses, and hits Cross Rhodes! TWO! Elias reaches a boiling point, as he is running out of ideas. He drops a big elbow on Cena just because, then searches for another idea. He gives another elbow, then stands over Cena to boast already. Cena gets him in a sunset flip, TWO, they get moving, Cena gets rallying. Spin-out bomb, and we know what that means: “You can’t see me!”

Five-Knuckle Shuffle! Then the fireman’s carry, the Attitude Adjustment! Cena wins on Christmas!

 

Raw takes a look at Samoa Joe’s path of destruction.

Since showing up on the main roster, he has been unimpressed by those he has targeted. From “that silly bastard, Jason Jordan”, to the “your so-called Architect, Seth Rollins”, to the “human cockroack, Dean Ambrose”, Samoa Joe shows no mercy and no respect. He kept The Shield from regaining the Raw Tag Team Championships, and even injured The Lunatic Fringe’s elbow. Most of all, Joe is not impressed with “a man who I have put to sleep time after time”, The Big Dog, Roman Reigns. Joe has put them out, and “there is nothing you can do about it.” Will The Destroyer’s worlds hold true in 2018?

 

Kurt Angle puts the finishing touches on his Christmas tree.

His Gold-Blooded Son visits him, as does Seth Rollins. Rollins cuts to the chase, he wants after Samoa Joe tonight, after what happened to Dean Ambrose. Jason Jordan feels bad for Ambrose, but he’s been patiently waiting for his shot at Joe. Patiently? Jordan has been anything but patient. Angle reminds them it is Christmas. They both want Joe, but The Bar interferes. To get at Joe, take care of Sheamus & Cesaro first. Is Angle really suggesting Rollins & Jordan team up? No, not after last week. Jordan wasn’t the one who got his head kicked in and pinned in that match. Besides, Jordan already did tag teams, he was hoping to focus on his singles career. He doesn’t want to be going backwards. How is teaming with Seth Rollins going backwards? Angle loves the intensity, and knows that when they find a way to work together, they’ll be unstoppable. And figure it out soon, because that match is happening, tonight on Christmas, for the Raw Tag Team Championships. Jordan and Rollins accept this Christmas present, can they pull it together to get revenge and gold? Oh, and look who has returned: Roman Reigns! Samoa Joe is all yours, Big Dog. And by the way, it is for the championship. Roman wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

THE Brian Kendrick w/ Jack Gallagher VS Hideo Itami!

The Man with a Plan and his Ungentlemanly Ally wish to “welcome” the newest member to the Cruiserweight Division, but all this “excitement” surrounding the man “who strikes his opponent so hard, they feel it for weeks” sounds too good to be true. Can the former Cruiserweight Champion show Itami is “just a passing fad”?

The bell rings, Itami and Kendrick circle and tie up. Kendrick clubs away on Itami but Itami merely fires up from those strikes. Itami fires forearms of his own, then a European Uppercut, Itami whips and runs Kendrick down with a kitchen sink knee. He keeps up the attack by kicking Kendrick in the back over and over, then drags him up for a scoop slam and another kick. “Respect me!” Itami shouts. Gallagher distracts him on the apron, Kendrick attacks with a calf kick! Cover, TWO, Kendrick clubs away on Itami with crossface punches. Kendrick lets up to bring Itami up for chops, then a corner to corner whip. Itami hits buckles, Kendrick grinds his shoe into Itami’s face. Kendrick brings Itami up, butterfly suplex, cover, TWO. Kendrick keeps Itami grounded with a headlock that he shifts into a straitjacket stretch. Itami endures, fights his way out, but Kendrick uses a cravat to drive Itami’s face into a buckle. Kendrick runs at Itami, Itami boots him away, then again. Itami hops up, tornado hotshot! Then, Itami climbs up for the flying clothesline! Fans like that, and Itami rallies on Kendrick with clotheslines and kicks. Fisherman Suplex throws Kendrick, fans fire up with Itami as he brings Kendrick up again, Itami gives strike after strike, then corner to corner for a skateboard dropkick!

The knee pad comes down, Itami calls for the finish. He brings Kendrick up into the fireman’s carry, Go To Sleep! Itami wins on Christmas! Itami wants respect, will he beat it out of the other Cruiserweights?

 

Raw looks back on Stephanie McMahon’s historic announcement.

The Raw Commissioner is proud of the Women’s Revolution in the WWE and how it has grown over the last three years. From changing Divas back into Women Wrestlers and Superstasr, to the first Women’s Hell in a Cell, first Miss Money in the Bank Ladder Match and even the first women’s wrestling match ever in Abu Dhabi, the women of the WWE put the “evolution” in revolution. “But that’s not enough!” January 28th, the Road to Wrestlemania starts with not just the Royal Rumble, but a Women’s Royal Rumble! No one can believe it, but everyone is excited for it. Who will be the winner of the inaugural Women’s Royal Rumble and stamp their name on the Wrestlemania match card?

 

Bayley, Sasha Banks & Mickie James encounter The Miztourage backstage.

“Merry Mizmas, ladies.” Everyone is sad that Miz is gone, making a movie, so Bo Dallas & Curt Axel took it upon themselves to spread some “Mizmas Cheer”! With caroling! “Joy~ to the world~, Miz is Awesome! Let Miz step in his ring! We miss the Miz a lot~, we hope he returns soon~! Bo Dallas & Axel sing~, Bo Dallas & Axel sing~, Bo DALLAS, Bo Dallas~ & Curt Axel sing~…!” Speechless. The ladies leave to prepare for their match, will this be a truly Merry Mizmas?

 

Six Woman Tag: Absolution VS Bayley, Sasha Banks & Mickie James!

Christmas, Mizmas or whatever, the women of Raw still want to establish strength and momentum within the Division as well as on the road to the first ever Women’s Royal Rumble match.

The bell rings, and it is The Boss and The Glampire starting for their teams. Paige plays with Sasha as she dodges her and mocks her team. Paige tries again, but Sasha catches her by her hair, Paige forearms Sasha in the jaw then tags out to the Golden Mandy Rose. Mandy swings, Sasha gets a waistlock, roll up, TWO. Sasha keeps moving, speeds things up, but Mandy poses too much so Sasha dropkicks her down. Sasha mocks the posing, then knocks Mandy down again. She brings Mandy up for an arm wrench, then tags in the veteran, Mickie James. Mickie goes up, ax handle onto Mandy’s arm. Mickie rams shoulders into Mandy, brings her down, leg drop on the arm and a cover, TWO. Fans sing to Bayley while Mickie wrenches Mandy’s arm again, Mandy drives in a knee. Mandy runs, misses Mickie, Mickie gets her with kicks and a running forearm. Cover, TWO, so Mickie tags Bayley. The Huggable One follows Mickie’s lead, running low boot to sliding lariat, cover, TWO. Bayley keeps on Mandy but Mandy rocks her with a right. Mandy tags in Sonya Deville, who puts Bayley in a waistlock, then throws Bayley to the mat. Sonya throws Bayley some more, then kicks her around toyingly. Bayley catches one of those kicks and powers Sonya to her corner, tag to Sasha. The best friends double suplex Sonya over, ONE, Sasha runs for a double knee drop. ONE again, Sasha grabs Sonya’s foot just as Sonya gets the ropebreak. The referee backs Sasha down, Mandy tries a sneak attack while Sasha is distracted but fails. Sasha goes out to pursue Sonya, Sonya decks her with a clobbering right clothesline!

Sonya enjoys her handiwork from within the ring, Bayley and Mickie try to coach Sasha into the match while the ref counts. Sasha beats the count but Sonya is right on her again. Tag to Paige, Sonya holds Sasha in place for Paige’s corner Shining Wizard. Paige adds a mudhole stomp onto Sasha, then she roars at Bayley and Mickie. Tag to Mandy, she lifts Sasha up for forearms. Mandy embraces the heat before choking Sasha on the ropes. She wrings Sasha’s arm then puts Sasha in a modified stretch, fans and teammates rally for The Boss. Sasha rolls it to a pin, TWO, Mandy keeps Sasha back by mere inches. Mandy drags Sasha back towards Absolution territory then drops an elbow, cover, TWO! Tag to Sonya, she and Mandy mug Sasha. Fans cheer Sasha on even as she takes a sliding knee, cover, TWO. Sonya puts Sasha in a bodyscissors. Sasha endures the squeeze and the occasional chinlock, fans and teammates rally for her. She gets up with Sonya on her back and powers her to a neutral corner, only for Sonya to yank her down by her hair. Tag to Paige, Absolution has Sasha isolated as Paige stands on Sasha’s hair and pulls on her arms. Paige pretends she didn’t see the hair, then shifts to a chinlock. Fans rally again, Paige mocks it as she thrashes Sasha around. Even so, Sasha stands up and fights back, but Paige runs her over with a lariat. Cover, TWO, Paige drags Sasha over to tag Mandy. Mandy takes the hand-off, she whips Sasha and hits a big knee strike! Cover, TWO, Mandy is frustrated. She keeps on Sasha, returning to that modified stretch. Fans keep up the rallying, Sasha pries her way out, and arm-drags Mandy away. Sasha runs for her corner but Mandy intercepts to then throw Sasha away. Mandy knocks Mickie down with a cheap shot, and while the referee keeps Bayley and Mickie back, Mandy goes back to Sasha. Mandy goes to throw Sasha into Absolution’s corner, but Sasha reverses to throw Mandy into Paige! They tumble down, Sonya checks on them, Sasha crawls her way over to tag in Bayley! Bayley rallies on Paige, jumping takedown to hammering fists. Saido suplex then shoulders in a corner, Bayley is fired up. Wacky waving elbow misses, but Bayley knocks Sonya off the apron. Paige scurries to her corner and bumps Bayley off buckles, but runs into the Bayley2Belly! Cover, but Absolution saves its leader by dragging her out of the ring. Bayley pursues, her team comes over, it is a chaotic brawl!

Mandy and Sonya go into the barrier, Bayley gives Paige a hotshot. Bayley climbs up top, fans fire up, but Paige kicks out her legs. Paige drags Bayley over, RamPaige! Absolution wins on Christmas! If they continue to use numbers so perfectly, can Absolution ensure one of their members is the first Women’s Rumble winner?

 

Backstage interview with Samoa Joe.

The Destroyer showed no remorse when he damaged Dean Ambrose’s arm, an injury which sidelines Ambrose for roughly nine months. And he admits to it here tonight. Ambrose can now be home with those he loves enjoying the holidays. And now, Joe gets his Intercontinental Championship opportunity, which he will take full advantage of. Joe has “systematically” going after the Shield. Ambrose is on the shelf, Roman wants vengeance, but he won’t get it. Joe will “own” Roman and put him to sleep so that he will wake up to a nightmare reality where Joe will be the new Intercontinental Champion.

 

Kane VS Heath Slater w/ Rhyno!

The Big Red Machine is one third of a truly monstrous Universal Championship Triple Threat match at the Royal Rumble, as there was no clear choice between him and the Monster Among Men. As for Christmas night, he looks to bring hellfire and brimstone to the One Man Band who right now, is just hoping to make it home to see his kids. In order to keep Slater on Raw, Rhyno plans to toughen him up, but isn’t this a little too much for step one?

The bell rings, Slater and Kane tie up. Kane shoves Slater to a corner but Slater elbows out and slips away. Rhyno wants Slater to bring the fight to Kane, but that’s easier said than done. Kane brings the fight to Slater instead with heavy shots in another corner. Fans chant to remind Kane, “Heath’s got kids!” Kane doesn’t care, he squashes Slater in a corner with a big clothesline. Then he flattens Slater with a sidewalk slam.

Kane kicks Slater out of the ring, literally, but Rhyno has faith in Slater. Slater doesn’t really have the same level of confidence, but he tries again. He gets in the ring, Slater shoves him right back out! Rhyno coaches Slater back up and in, Slater still doubts himself. The fans cheer for Slater and his kids, Rhyno fires Slater up, Kane drags Slater up but Slater hotshots him away! Slater throws wild hands, Kane shoves him, Slater hits a big knee. Kane stays up, and uppercuts Slater down. Then he finishes it, with a Choke Slam! Kane wins, and Rhyno may have to rethink his toughening-up strategy. However, Rhyno forgets about his own safety, Kane returns to grab him around the throat! Rhyno fights back with haymakers and a whip for a big shoulder into a corner. Fans chant “E C Dub!” for the Manbeast, Rhyno takes aim and… No Gore, just another CHOKE SLAM!

Kane ruined Christmas for the Slater family, but can he make his own New Year’s bright with a win over both Beast and Braun?

 

Curt Hawkins is on Raw!

Normally, Hawkins would be telling the WWE Universe to #FacttheFacts, but considering his 146 loss streak, he needs to face facts. He’ll be the first to admit that 2017 has been rather unkind to him, “but~” 2017 isn’t over yet! Hawkins feels a Christmas Miracle in Chicago, and grants an open challenge! Come down the chimney, step into the room, and take the two lumps of coal Hawkins has waiting for you, to finally break Hawkins’ losing streak. And who answers the challenge? Why, it’s the Extraordinary Man!

Curt Hawkins VS Finn Balor!

The inaugural Universal Champion probably wasn’t on Hawkins’ wishlist but he’s here to get himself some Christmas cheer in Chicago.

The bell rings, Hawkins takes the fight to Finn! Hawkins is determined to end his streak as he whips Finn corner to corner, but Finn boots back and rallies on Hawkins, “Too Sweet” running chop in the corner. Finn whips Hawkins corner to corner but Hawkins rolls Finn, TWO! Hawkins keeps moving, tries another roll up, TWO. Hawkins kicks out Finn’s leg, then Mahistrol, TWO. He is frustrated, Finn trips him and stomps on him! The fans fire up for Finn as he hits a Slingblade, then blasts Hawkins with a dropkick. Hawkins is down in position, Finn climbs up top, Coup de Grace! Finn wins, Hawkins now stands at 147 losses in a row. Can Finn find his way back to gold? Will Hawkins ever win again?

 

The Miztourage finds Goldust backstage.

Looks like someone needs some #MizmasCheer! They can guess what he wants: a carol! “You’re~ career has lost some speed~, falalala la, lala la la. But~ we know just what you need~, falalala la, lala la la. This will help improve your luster, falala, lalala, la la la. Here’s a Miz Christmas heart-buster, falalala la, lala la la! Fala lala la~, lala, la~, LAAA~!” Again, speechless. Santa’s Little Helper, starring The Miz (and Paige). Merry Mizmas! Titus Worldwide walks through, Goldust passes the DVD off on them.

 

Bray Wyatt speaks on Christmas.

“She always hated this time of year.” Sister Abigail hated the idea of superficial presents and pagan rituals could bring joy and happiness. Abigail loathed it because it reminded her of someone like Matt Hardy. “Your words only perpetuate this sickness.” He gives the people something to believe in, and they think they’re fighting side by side with him. In reality, Hardy is only using them for his own personal gain. Look around you, “Woken Warriors”. What do you see? The darkness! Bray’s Fireflies! And her. “Chicago, I’m here.”

Bray Wyatt heads to the ring.

And is attacked by WOKEN Matt Hardy! Hardy throws hands and elbows at Bray as the fans go wild with “DELETE!” chants. Bray shoves Hardy away, Hardy dodges the punch, but Bray narrowly escapes the Twist of Fate. Bray is furious but Hardy is delighted. Hardy points to Bray, and with the fans echoing him, declares to “DELETE!”

“Yeeee-e-e-s~!” Hardy laughs at Bray as the Eater of Worlds paces on the stage, when will he finally DELETE him?!

 

The Bar complains about defending their Raw Tag Team Championships.

For starters, they’re having to do it on Christmas! Cesaro thought Angle might be more reasonable and appreciative of them. Sheamus assures Cesaro he does appreciate the Swiss Cyborg. Which is why he got Cesaro a present! Open the card first. “May we always raise a glass to Christmas and to our Friendship. We don’t just set the bar, we ARE The Bar!” Now open the gift itself. Cesaro does, and inside… is a Dean Ambrose action figure, with a missing arm! A super-rare and brand new release. Cesaro has something for Sheamus, too! Sheamus opens the box, and inside… A Seth Rollins! Sheamus can’t wait to break this one and the real Rollins tonight. But there’s more. There is? It’s… a Jason Jordan? Sheamus doesn’t want a Jason Jordan. Well neither does Rollins, but he’s his tag team partner. And Angle doesn’t want him as his son, either! The Bar shares a laugh and a hug, will they still be sharing those tag team championships by the end of the night?

 

Six Man Tag Miracle on 34th Street Fight: The ‘Zo Train VS Cedric Alexander, Mustafa Ali & Akira Tozawa!

The Certified G is now a Bonafide Santa Claus, and he has his elves, Drew “Sugarplum” Gulak and “Feliz NaviDaivari”, in tow as he spreads Christmas joy to their opponents. The Carolina Kid has nothing but coal, not to be confused with Michael Cole. Alexander wished for but didn’t get the Cruiserweight Championship, but in the Christmas spirit, it is time for a Very Merry beatdown!

Ariya Daivari starts against Cedric Alexander, and as they circle, Enzo distracts Alexander with trash talk. Daivari pounces, throwing his jingle-bell elf hat at Alexander before punching away in a corner. Daivari whips ALexander corner to corner but Alexander goes up and over to handspring headscissor Daivari out. Gulak rushes in but gets a dropkick that sends him out, then Enzo is scared away. The Stamina Monster Tozawa comes in and starts up the “AH! AH!” chants, before building speed to launch the Tozawa Torpedo at Daivari while Pakistani Prince Ali jumps on Gulak from the top rope! The synchronized attacks take out The ‘Zo Train and we go to break.

Raw returns, The ‘Zo Train has since taken control, Gulak throwing presents into the ring while Daivari keeps Tozawa on the defensive. Daivari scoop slams Tozawa right onto a gift box, covers, TWO. Daivari tags Enzo, Enzo sets up a tree in a corner to whip Tozawa right into it, ornaments and all. Cover, TWO, Enzo keeps on Tozawa with a chinlock. Alexander and Ali get the fans rallying with “AH! AH!” but Enzo yanks Tozawa back to the mat. Enzo prepares the pitch, and gives the fastball to Alexander!

But that allows Tozawa to get up and hit Enzo with a spinning roundhouse! Enzo and Tozawa crawl for their corners, hot tags to Ali and Daivari! Hometown boy Ali rallies on The ‘Zo Train, whip reversed but Ali flapjack dropkicks Daivari down. He whips Daivari again but is reversed, Ali slips out to the apron to roundhouse Daivari down. Ali takes aim, rolls, facebuster! He puts Daivari in position, climbs up top, 0-5-4!! Gulak breaks the pin with the cookie sheet, Tozawa comes in to SMACK Gulak with the other cookie sheet! Gulak goes out, Enzo returns, but so does Alexander. Ali and Daivari crawl, hot tag to Alexander while Enzo fetches a candy kendo stick! Enzo hesitates, Alexander blocks and takes the stick for his own. Enzo begs for mercy, but Alexander sees Gulak coming! Alexander dodges and sends the elf into Santa Amore! Then SMACK with the kendo stick! Another SMACK sends Gulak out, but Daivari returns for the roll-up, TWO! Lumbar Check! Alexander and team win on Christmas! Can the #1 Contender carry this momentum into the New Year when he faces Enzo Amore for the Cruiserweight Championship?

 

Enzo Amore encounters Nia Jax backstage.

“How you doin’?” Nia’s good, but probably better than Enzo. Merry Christmas. Yes, but a rather rough one. Oh, is that mistletoe overhead?

Everyone knows what that means. The fans anticipate it, but as Enzo comes in, Alexa Bliss interrupts. The Goddess needs to talk to her BFF and the first ever Women’s Rumble! The moment has passed, Nia has to go. Will the Certified G ever catch a break?

 

Backstage interview with Roman Reigns.

The Big Dog heard Joe’s words earlier, and “couldn’t care less.” Roman is the champion, and won’t leave Chicago without the title. This isn’t just for him, this is for Ambrose. Roman is going to send a message: You hurt one of his brothers, he will hurt you.

 

WWE Intercontinental Championship: Roman Reigns VS Samoa Joe!

The Big Dog seeks revenge but the Destroyer promises only pain for this match, who will be the one going home with a golden gift for Christmas?

The bell rings and the two go right at each other! Roman runs Joe over with a clothesline then throws hands to back him down into a corner. Roman keeps up the attack, Joe endures then fires back with his sharp jabs. Joe has Roman in a corner now and gives him a sharp elbow, Roman staggers out to respond with an uppercut.

Roman brings Joe up, Joe jabs again. Roman pushes Joe into ropes, catching him in the throat. Joe lingers on the apron, Roman goes outside to hit the Drive-By Dropkick! Roman gets back inside, the referee checks on Joe, Joe fires back with jabs and chops. Joe staggers while fans duel, “Let’s go, Roman!” “Roman sucks!” Joe bumps Roman off a buckle, then brings him in for a back suplex. Cover, TWO, Joe keeps his cool. Roman climbs to his feet, Joe puts him back in a corner. Joe jabs away again, the referee backs him off a moment, Joe comes back with a headbutt and haymakers. He doesn’t let up, he whips Roman to ropes but Roman ducks. Roman clotheslines Joe down, then gives Joe close-range clotheslines in a corner. The Big Dog hits all ten, then runs to boot Joe down. Fans are thunderous on both sides as Roman goes to a corner. He locks and loads, takes aim, but Joe gets to ropes for safety. Roman storms over, Joe hits back with jabs. Joe jabs away again, the referee backs him off. Joe runs in for the back elbow and Pele! Cover, TWO, Joe starts showing frustration while we go to break.

Raw returns, Joe keeps Roman down. Joe slaps Roman, then slaps again, and then gives a headbutt. Joe runs, into a Samoan Drop! TWO, Roman is shocked. Roman refocuses and stands up before bringing Joe into powerbomb position. Joe is too big and strong, he back drops Roman up and over, but then Roman sunset flip counters, TWO! Joe gives Roman a forearm, Roman responds with an uppercut, Joe gives knee strikes and a snap suplex. Back senton misses! Reload, SUPERMAN PUNCH! TWO! Roman is shocked again, fans are thunderous as both men get to their feet. Roman lets out the battle cry, runs in to Joe’s foot, yurinagi slam! TWO, now Joe is shocked. Joe also grows furious as he stalks Roman to the apron. He brings Roman up while fans duel again, Roman gives Joe a hotshot. Roman gets in while Joe staggers, Joe surprises Roman with a Coquina Clutch! Joe only has the sleeper hold, Roman reaches for ropes, Joe brings Roman down for the full clutch! Roman endures, reaches, fades, Jo goes for a higher bodyscissors to block the reaching arm! Roman pries his arm free, and gets the ropebreak.

Joe has to let go, but he is right on Roman as he shove shim out to DIVE! Roman collides with barriers and clutches his arm. Joe drags Roman up by that bad arm, and swings him into a post. Things return inside the ring, Joe stalks Roman and puts on an armlock to the bad arm. Fans are thunderous again as Roman endures the torture. Roman gets up and headbutts Joe then gives big elbows. Roman backs Joe down, the referee backs Roman down, Roman won’t stop. The referee disqualifies Roman! Joe wins, but Roman retains. Fans dislike the ending, but Roman gives Joe a SUPERMAN PUNCH. The Big Dog won’t leave Joe alone just yet, he goes outside to pursue Joe, FLYING punch off the steel steps. Roman then throws Joe into the post, banging up Joe’s right arm, the same as Joe did to Ambrose. Roman shows no mercy, he throws Joe into another post to further damage that arm. He then takes the steel steps, fans like where this is going. Roman uses the steel steps as a battering ram into Joe’s bad arm!

The referee tries to protect Joe, but the fans chant “One more time!” Roman obliges, and hits Joe with the steps again! This isn’t over yet, Roman grabs a chair! He stalks Joe, and swings, but narrowly misses. The referees stop Roman at this, Joe gets away. Is this war between Big Dog and Destroyer far from over?

 

Seth Rollins likes what he sees from Roman.

That’s when Jason Jordan walks in. Rollins tells JJ if this is some kind of strategy meeting or pep talk, save it. Rollins is only doing this because he’s returning the favor to Angle for TLC, and for getting back at The Bar. They have differences, sure, but Rollins doesn’t care about that. Rollins cares about beating The Bar to become tag team champion, again. Jordan can’t go out there, lose, then brag about how he “hung with the top competition in WWE.” News flash, Jordan: everyone in the WWE is top competition. Follow Rollins– Jordan speaks up, saying that he is genuinely excited to have this match. Jordan doesn’t want anyone to get injured, but Jordan is a pretty good replacement for Ambrose. Rollins makes one thing clear for Jordan: as good as he thinks he is, he will never be Dean Ambrose. Right, he’ll be better. Tensions are still high, can Jordan and Rollins survive Cesaro & Sheamus?

 

The Miztourage is in the ring.

Bo Dallas & Curt Axel thank Chicago for having them, and are “super excited” that they’re getting a “Secret Santa” match! In other words, a mystery opponent. Chicago, join in on a special song! “Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way~! Oh what fun it is to ride in a one–” BRAUN!!

2v1 Handicap Match: The Miztourage VS Braun Strowman!

Bo & Axel are probably wishing they could return this Secret Santa gift Angle just gave them.
The bell rings, Bo goes at the Monster Among men, and barely escapes the scoop slam before being clobbered by a clothesline. Axel wants no part of Strowman, Strowman throws Bo across the ring. Then Strowman makes Axel join the match, and throws him into Bo! Strowman powers Axel to one corner, goes corner to corner to crush Bo, and then give Bo the spiraling powerslam. Strowman wins on Christmas! Oh, and he’s not done, either. Strowman targets Axel, Chicago encourages him, so he gives Axel a powerslam! Chicago wants one more, Bo gets himself a second powerslam, and then Axel gets one, too!

Can the Monster keep up momentum going into a match against Beast and Big Red Machine?

 

Alexa Bliss comes to the ring.

The Goddess and Raw Women’s Champion wishes the WWE Universe a “Merry Blissmas”. She melted the coal from our stockings to instead give us a very special gift: herself. She knows the WWE Universe spends the holiday season “scarfing down cookies” and “listening to boring stories your families tell”. Alexa instead takes this time to reflect: 2017 is the Year of Bliss. She started the year as SmackDown Women’s Champion and will end the year as Raw Women’s Champion, having overcome every obstacle like a Jedi! Side note: she did it without the fans and she’ll still do it without the fans. Alexa shattered the glass ceiling, but the moment of the year was still the Women’s Rumble announcement. Alexa watched it over and over and still gets chills. To all the women in the WWE locker room and all the fans watching around the world, “You’re welcome.”

Every cheer, tear and moment is because of Alexa! “The gift that keeps on giving” vows she’ll watch closely to see who her opponent for Wrestlemania is. But wait, ASUKA appears!

The Empress of Tomorrow, who is still undefeated, walks right into the ring and grabs herself a mic. “I’m entering the Women’s Royal Rumble match. And I will win. Because, nobody is ready for Asuka!” Asuka then stares Alexa down with that sinister grin, fans know “Asuka’s gonna kill~ you!” And she hits Alexa with a lightning fast roundhouse! The Empress has called her shot, who will stop her from making history?

WWE Raw Tag Team Championship: The Bar VS Seth Rollins & Jason Jordan!

The Architect and the Gold-Blooded Son aren’t seeing eye to eye, do they stand a chance against the cohesive unit of Swiss Cyborg and Celtic Gladiator?

Sheamus and Jordan start with the bell, circle and tie up, matching in power. Jordan gets around for a waistlock and slam on Sheamus, rolling him to a pin, ONE. Sheamus powers his way to ropes, and gives a dirty break as he elbows Jordan. The ref backs Sheamus down, Cesaro gets the cheap shot. Sheamus keeps on Jordan, then tags Cesaro, double whip to Bar lariat but Jordan ducks and Rollins tags in. Jordan takes a double hip-toss, but Rollins hits a double crossbody!

Rollins clotheslines Sheamus out then Slingblades Cesaro down. He builds speed and DIVES on both members of The Bar! Rollins helps Jordan to his feet and gives him a pat on the shoulder as we go to break.

Raw returns once more, to find The Bar has regained control. Sheamus has Rollins in a keylock, but fans rally for The Architect. Rollins stands up, Sheamus keeps him back, Sheamus tags Cesaro and they whip Rollins to their corner. Super Saiyan kicks! Cover, TWO, Cesaro keeps Rollins grounded with a float-over into a chinlock. Rollins gets to his feet, Cesaro does his best to keep him back, sleeperhold backpack into a motorcycle stretch. Cesaro whips Rollins to The Bar’s corner, tag to Sheamus and Rollins is isolated again.

Sheamus puts Rollins into the Bodhrain and drums a few times, but stops to troll the fans. Rollins elbows and punches back, bringing Sheamus to his knees. Rollins hurries for his corner but Sheamus anchors a foot, so Rollins uses his free foot to kick at Sheamus. Sheamus still drags Rollins back and tags Cesaro, Cesaro gives a flying leg drop. TWO, but right back to the chinlock. Rollins feeds off the fans’ energy, he and Cesaro reach for tags but Cesaro is the one to get one. Sheamus comes in, double whip and Bar Lariat hits, cover, TWO. Sheamus keeps his cool as he drags Rollins up by his hair. He throws Rollins out of the ring, the referee keeps him from pursuing, so Cesaro gets a cheap shot. Jordan runs in and runs Cesaro over, Sheamus bails Cesaro out, and The Bar throws Jordan into barriers together! Rollins stirs but has no partner to tag, Sheamus grabs him by his nose. He whips Rollins at his corner, Rollins knocks Cesaro down, then spins out of the Irish Curse to hit a DDT! Both men down, no one to tag!

Cesaro returns, Jordan doesn’t. Tag made, corner European Uppercut feed into the Irish Curse, cover, TWO! Cesaro brings Rollins up onto ropes, the referee backs him off, allowing Sheamus to hit the cheap shot knee right to Rollins’ face. Cover, TWO! The Bar is frustrated, but they decide to go up. Tag to Sheamus, double whip and flapjack into EuroUpper! TWO! The Bar tags again, Cesaro runs but Rollins boots out, he fights against them both and then Jordan returns to run Sheamus over! Jordan gets himself to his corner, Cesaro returns while Rollins crawls. The fans rally, Cesaro grabs Rollins’ leg but gets shoved away, hot tags to Jordan and Sheamus! The Gold-Blooded Son rallies on The Bar, and then begins corner-to-corner carries on Sheamus back and forth! Jordan fires up, goes corner to corner for the shoulder tackle, then the overhead suplex!

Cover, TWO, but Jordan keeps focus. He grabs Sheamus again, Cesaro holds onto Sheamus to save him from a suplex, Jordan knocks him down. Sheamus rolls Jordan, TWO, big lariat runs Jordan over. Tag to Cesaro, Cesaro climbs up while Sheamus gives Jordan a backbreaker, Cesaro gives Jordan an elbow drop! TWO, but into the Sharpshooter! Jordan endures the legendary hold, Rollins returns and trips up Sheamus on the apron. Cesaro goes after Rollins and throws him out, small package from Jordan, TWO! Cesaro tackles Jordan and rains rights. Sheamus returns, tags in, then climbs up. Cesaro lifts Jordan, Doomsday Device! Springboard from Rollins, but Cesaro catches him! The referee stops counting while he takes notice of Rollins overwhelming Cesaro with hammer punches. Sheamus helps Cesaro out but Rollins fights The Bar alone. SUPERKICK for Cesaro, BROGUE for Rollins! Back to Jordan, Sheamus puts on the Cloverleaf! Jordan endures this submission now, drags himself to ropes, ropebreak! Sheamus lets go, but he coordinates with Cesaro. Tag, then they bring Jordan up, Rollins anchors Cesaro so only Sheamus gives Jordan the White Noise. Rollins leads Sheamus on a cat ‘n’ mouse game while Cesaro climbs down, Sheamus goes into the steel steps! Cesaro EuroUppers Rollins into the barriers! Cesaro hurries back itno the ring, Jordan hits the back suplex neckbreaker! Jordan & Rollins win! They are the NEW Raw Tag Team Champions!! The Gold-Blooded Son overcame doubters, he and The Architect are champions once more! Can winning truly heal all things?

 

My Thoughts:

The very first ever Christmas Raw was not as good as it could’ve been. It was still good, that’s for sure, but there was still something lacking given the occasion. John Cena returning for the holiday was nice, but his match with Elias left a bit to be desired for a commercial-free first hour in such a demanding city as Chicago. Cena wins because he’s Cena, and Elias did manage to look strong during the match, but they could’ve easily turned up the quality a bit for the sake of Christmas. Then most of what cam next felt like filler. The Six Woman Tag was the third time around for Absolution VS BayleySashaMickie, and once again Absolution comes out on top. Itami dispatches Kendrick in a squash, Kane decimates Slater as a moderate tie-in of Slater’s “toughen up” story, and Finn gets another win that doesn’t really mean anything. Though, I do suddenly want Hawkins to join The Great War as WOKEN Hawkins. If Hardy’s losing streak unlocked his WOKEN side, why can’t Hawkins approaching 150 losses in a row do the same?

Why did they make a No DQ match like a Street Fight into a Six Man Tag? At least, why was it a traditional tag? I would’ve preferred a Tornado Six Man No DQ match because it’s just more logical. The Cruiserweights are still doing well on Raw and next week’s New Year’s Raw will have the title match, but it still puts a lot of pressure on Tuesday’s 205 Live to propel things towards a Gulak-based finish that then leads to Gulak turning. The two championship matches were great, though. Roman retains to up the ante in aggression, which is always welcomed, and BIG surprise in Jordan and Rollins becoming tag champions together. This development might be good for Jordan and The Shield in the long run, as it can give rise to Ambrose turning on Rollins for being “replaced”, and then we get the Ambrose-Rollins match we thought we were getting before they reunited.

My Score: 8/10


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Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (4/19/24)

Prepare for Backlash!

Published

11 hours ago

on

April 19, 2024

By

Did you know that challenger in French is still “challenger?”

In a WrestleMania rematch, AJ Styles takes on LA Knight in a #1 contender’s match, to challenge WWE Champion Cody Rhodes at Backlash in France!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Undisputed WWE Championship #1 Contender’s match: AJ Styles VS LA Knight; Styles wins and will challenge Cody Rhodes for the title at Backlash.
  • SmackDown/WWE Tag Team Championships #1 Contenders Fatal 4 Way: The Street Profits VS New Catch Republic VS The Authors of Pain VS Legado Del Fantasma; The Profits win and will challenge A-Town Down Under for the titles.
  • Carlito w/ Zelina Vega VS Santos Escobar w/ Elektra Lopez; Santos wins.
  • WWE Women’s Championship: Bayley VS Naomi; Bayley wins, by disqualification, and retains the title.

PLAY BY PLAY

Undisputed WWE Championship #1 Contender’s match: AJ Styles VS LA Knight!

After fighting their way through Triple Threats, the Phenomenal One and the Mega Star meet again, YEAH! It’s a WrestleMania Rematch, the winner moving on to Backlash, YEAH! Will AJ Styles avenge his loss at the biggest WrestleMania ever? Or will everyone from here to France know whose game it is?

The bell rings and the two step to each other. The fans in Pittsburgh “YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!” and Knight lets Styles know it. Styles snarls, they tie up, and they go around. Knight puts Styles in a corner, the ref counts, but Knight lets off slowly. Styles kicks low! The fans boo but Styles headlocks. Knight pulls hair, throws body shots, then headlocks in return. Styles pushes Knight to ropes, powers up and out, then hurdles, drops and DROP- NO, Knight avoids the dropkick to BOOT, and LARIAT! Knight then TOSSES Styles out of the ring, storms out after him, and brings him to commentary. Knight SMACKS Styles off the desk! And again! And again!

The fans chant “YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!” with every SMACK, then Knight tops it off with one last SMACK! Knight drags Styles up and into the ring, storms in, but Styles KICKS Knight in the ropes! Styles reels Knight in, but Knight back drops Styles up and out! Styles flounders on the floor, Knight runs to WRECK him with a dropkick! Styles hits desk again and Steel City is loving “L! A! KNIGHT, YEAH!” as SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns and Styles soaks up the heat as he taunts Knight. Styles brings Knight up, but Knight fires haymakers! “YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!” Knight backs Styles down, whips, but Styles ducks ‘n dodges! Knight ducks ‘n’ dodges, then DOUBLE CROSSBODIES collide! Both men are down and the fans fire up. Both men slowly sit up, crawl around, and then stand. Styles fires a shot, but Knight gives it back! The haymakers go back and forth, “YEAH! BOO! YEAH!” Styles staggers but he still ROCKS Knight! Knight ROCKS Styles again and again, but Styles throat chops! Styles fires off the Phenomenal Blitz, but Knight ducks the lariat!

Knight JABS, JABS, JABS, and DECKS Styles! Knight stomps a mudhole in at the corner, “YEAH!” Knight then runs corner to corner to KNEE Styles down! The fans fire up, Knight puts Styles up, and Knight ROCKS Styles. Knight climbs, but Styles ROCKS him back! Knight staggers away, but returns to spring right up! SUPER DUPER PLEX! Cover, TWO!! Styles survives that crash but both men are down again. The fans rally as Knight rises, and he brings Styles around. Knight reels Styles in, suplexes, but Styles slips free! Styles goes to a corner, ELBOWS Knight away, then goes up to QUEBRADA DDT! Cover, TWO!

The fans fire up as Knight stays in this and Styles starts losing his cool. The fans rally for Knight but Styles looms over him. Styles brings Knight up and in, but Knight RAMS him into a corner! Knight then scoops Styles, but Styles slips free to roll up, TWO!! Knight escapes, swings, but Styles dodges to PELE! Knight ends up in a corner, Styles runs in, but Knight puts Styles on the apron! Styles ROCKS Knight, springboards, but Knight gets under! Styles comes back, into a scoop and POWERSLAM! Then JUMP ELBOW DROP! The fans fire up with with Knight as he storms around. Styles rises, Knight winds up, B F- NO, Styles bails out!

The fans boo but Knight storms over. Knight drags Styles up but Styles HOTSHOTS him! And pokes him in the eyes! Then ROCKS him! And springboards, to PHENOMENAL FOREARM!! Cover, Styles wins!

Winner: AJ Styles, by pinfall (NEW #1 Contender to the Undisputed WWE Championship)

Styles bent the rules, but a win is a win! He will get his shot at the American Nightmare in Lyon, France, will this year’s Backlash be phenomenal?

 

The Bloodline arrives backstage.

The car pulls up, Solo Sikoa steps out in a suit, and Paul Heyman is there to greet him. Nice threads, Solo. Tama Tonga walks over and Solo says meet the newest member of The Bloodline, Solo’s MFT. The Wise Man is stunned. But Solo cuts him off to ask if Kevin Owens is here. Heyman hesitates and Solo asks again, is Kevin here? If he is, he’s probably already in the locker room. Then take them to him. Heyman obeys and leads on. There have already been changes to the chain of command, is there about to be a change to the landscape of SmackDown, too?

 

Nick Aldis is in the ring.

In a familiar scene to Monday Night Raw, there is a podium with something under a satin sheet. The SmackDown General Manager welcomes to Pittsburgh the Chief Content Officer, Paul “Triple H” Levesque! The fans fire up as The Game makes his way to the ring! HHH joins Aldis in the ring, gets a mic, looks around at the crowd as he revels in the cheers, then says, “On the heels of the biggest, most epic, history making, record breaking, epic, unbelievable WrestleMania of all time, we are here tonight, sold out, 15 thousand strong, Pittsburgh, PA! So let me say, welcome to SmackDown!” The fans cheer that!

HHH wants to take a moment to say that he thinks Adam Pearce and Nick Aldis are both doing great jobs at leading their respective brands into the future. Thank you to both of them. And when we talk about the future, we have to talk about the history made coming into the future. So when history is made, HHH wants it to be represented here befitting of those that make it. So Aldis, if we could, let us bring the… champions out here. Aldis says without further ado, the NEW SmackDown Tag Team Champions, Austin Theory & Grayson Waller. The fans boo as A-Town Down Under make their way, blue belts in hand.

Theory & Waller join Aldis and HHH in the ring, mics already in hand, and they soak up the heat from Steel City. Waller says this is huge. Monday, we saw the second place champions get new belts. And now A-Town Down Under will be presented new titles! Theory says speaking of truth, didn’t Truth think HHH was a magician? Well, who knows what magic trick HHH has to make these guys look better than they already do, but hey, give it a try. HHH says congratulations on becoming tag team champions, so he will show them what they will wear going forward. From now on, they will be the WWE Tag Team Champions.

Reveal! In the style of the Attitude Era and Ruthless Aggression Era belts, the solid gold shines. HHH offers a handshake, but Waller leaves him hanging to shake Theory’s hand! Aldis makes it clear to them. They ever pop off and disrespect HHH like that, here’s a real magic trick: A-Clown Down Under will disappear, permanently! The fans like the sound of that! Aldis snatches the blue belts away since they won’t need them, and speaking of disappearing, there’s a chance one of the following four teams will make their title reign disappear. That #1 contenders match starts right now! The fans fire up, but which team defies the odds to get some golden tickets to France?

 

Backstage interview with Naomi.

Kayla Braxton is with The Glow and says last week, she beat Tiffany Stratton to get this title opportunity tonight. Will the friendship with Bayley get in the way of this match? Naomi says no, of course not. Bayley’s her sister, and she needed help against Damage CTRL, so Naomi was more than happy to help. But in no way will friendship get in the way of this opportunity. It has been over two YEARS since Naomi’s last WWE singles championship match, and there is nothing that will get in the way of making the most of this moment. Now last week, Tiffy Time felt the glow, so that same energy keeps going tonight.

Naomi is also looking forward to next week’s WWE Draft, where she will walk in the NEW WWE Women’s Champion. Naomi is ready, but will she be able to best Bayley in Bayley’s first title defense?

 

WWE Tag Team Championships #1 Contenders Fatal 4 Way: The Street Profits VS New Catch Republic VS The Authors of Pain VS Legado Del Fantasma!

SmackDown returns as Legado makes their entrance, followed by Akam & Rezar with the Final Testament. Waller & Theory are on commentary, Waller admitting he wants any team but AOP, and Theory saying these teams are fortunate to have real superstars leading their division. In this form of Fatal 4 Way, only two teams are active, so the Big Strong Boi, Tyler Bate, starts against Montez Ford. They circle, tie up, and Ford headlocks. Bate powers up to pry at the hold but Ford clamps on tighter. Bate powers up and out, drops, but Ford leaps over! The fans cheer, things keep moving, Bate feints high to drop low!

Bate shows knuckle lock, Ford obliges, but Bate wrenches, baits and double pump handles to FLIP Ford! Cover, TWO! Ford gets up to sweep and cover, TWO! Bate steps over, La Magistrol, TWO! Ford gets up, dropkicks cancel out, and both men kip up! The fans fire up and the two reset. But then Humberto Carrillo sneaks a tag, before he DECKS Bate with a sucker punch! Ford dodges Humberto but Angel Garza holds the ropes open! Ford tumbles out,  Garza tags in, and Humberto sits Ford up. Garza runs in to KNEE Ford down! The fans boo, Garza drags Ford to a cover, TWO! Garza back suplexes, Ford lands out!

Ford tags Dawkins and he dodges Garza to FLYING ELBOW! Garza tags out to Akam, but then the Bruiserweight, Pete Dunne, tags in off Dawkins! Rezar tags, Dunne runs up but Akam LARIATS him down! Rezar DECKS Dawkins, then the AOP start clearing the corners! But Ford goes up to leap, but into an URENAGE! The fans boo but the AOP roar and soak up the heat. Waller’s worst case scenario might end up reality, but SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns and the fans rally as Ford endures a facelock. Ford fights up, pries at the hold, but Rezar shoves him to ELBOW him down! Rezar talks trash, Waller taunts the Steelers players sitting in the front row that they don’t really know what championships are, and then Rezar sucker punches Dawkins down! Rezar stands Ford up, Canadian Racks and bends him! Ford endures, the fans rally, but Rezar thrashes Ford around! Ford kicks and flails, he gets free, hot tag to Dunne! Bate sneaks a tag, Dunne GAMANGIRIS Akam and then NCR fire off on Rezar! The fans fire up, Humberto runs in, but Dunne dodges to SNAP GERMAN!

Bate & Dunne STOMP Humberto’s hands! Then BASEMENT DROPKICK! Garza runs up, but into the REBOUNDER GERMAN COMBO!! The fans fire up with NCR, but Rezar runs up! He grabs Dunne, but Bate says Bop up, BANG! Bate fireman’s carries Rezar?! But Rezar ELBOWS right free! Dunne GAMANGIRIS, Ford SUPERKICKS, and Dawkins ENZIGIRIS! Rezar wobbles, and everyone helps Bate gets Rezar up! BIG STRONG AIRPLANE SPINE! But then Legado CLOBBER Bate and Rezar! They BOOT Dunne, whip the Profits but the Profits reverse to TOSS Legado out! Ellering coaches Rezar while the Profits regroup.

Bate gets up, Dawkins ROCKS him! Dawkins brings Bate to the very top, but Dunne CLUBS Dawkins! NCR mug Dawkins but Ford joins in! They brawl, but AOP add on! Humberto finds Rezar to tag in, before the DOUBLE TOWER OF DOOM!! Bate’s the only one left up top, so Legado mug him! They double trophy lift Bate, to DOUBLE ROCKET LAUNCH him onto everyone!! Humberto then finds Bate, sunset flips and rewinds, Garza jumps, MISSILE DROPKICK DOOMSDAY! Cover, DUNNE BREAKS IT! “This is Awesome!” as all eight men are down around ringside, and Waller says this is gonna be easy pickings for A-Town Down Under now.

Dunne grabs Garza, Bate has Humberto, STEREO ANKLE LOCKS!! Grapevine for Garza! But Humberto BOOTS Bate onto Dunne! Legado is free, Ellering has AOP regroup, and SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns again and Rezar CLUBS Dawkins down. Rezar soaks up heat, taunts the other teams, then CLUBS Dawkins again. Rezar brings Dawkins up again, but Dawkins fires off body shots! Rezar KNEES low, reels Dawkins in, talks more trash, and lifts Dawkins up, to POWERBOMB! But then Dunne runs up to ROCK Rezar! Akam gets in to scoop Dunne and SLAM him on Dawkins! Cover, TWO! Rezar looks to Ellering and he coaches AOP. Rezar HAMMERS Dawkins, Akam tags, and AOP get NCR up! The fans boo but NCR RANA free to send AOP into each other! Ford jumps in, as does Garza.

All the teams realize, they gotta do something about AOP. So they all mug AOP! The fans fire up as AOP tumble out, but now who strikes first? Dunne runs up but Garza SUPERKICKS him first! Bate waistlocks Garza and Ford winds up, but Garza ducks so the BACKHAND hits Bate! Garza SUPERKICKS Ford, but Dawkins DECKS Garza! Humberto springboards to FLYING CHUCK! Cover, TWO!! Theory says if A-Town Down Under were in this match, he’d knock everyone out and Waller could just sneak in to cover. Humberto and Dawkins rise and go to corners. Humberto runs up, but Dawkins POUNCES him away!

Dawkins gets Humberto up, Ford returns and tags in! Dawkins Electric Chair Lifts Humberto and Ford climbs! The stars are out for the BLOCKBUSTER DOOMSDAY! Cover, DUNNE BREAKS IT! Another save from the Bruiserweight and Ford is frustrated. Dunne drags Dawkins up to CHOP, but Dawkins ROCKS him! Dawkins whips Dunne out of the ring, but Dunne grabs the arm! And he pulls off the glove so he can SNAP fingers! The fans fire up, but Ford ENZIGIRIS Dunne down! Ford brings Humberto up, Humberto JAWBREAKERS! Bate tags in off Ford, BOOTS Garza, then runs up, but into a POP-UP! But Bate RANAS Humberto!!

Bate then DUMPS Garza out, goes to the apron, and Dunne lines up targets. Bate and Dunne climb, Ford runs in, NCR DOUBLE ARIHARA MOONSAULT while Ford FLIES over the corner post!! Down goes Legado and AOP!! The fans are losing their minds as Bate hurries to get Humberto up. Bate puts Humberto in, reels him in, underhooks, but Humberto fights it! Humberto back drops but Bate lands on his feet! Humberto cradles, TWO! Humberto LARIATS Bate, tag to Garza! Legado gets Bate up, feed to the POP-UP KICK!! #FTY! Humberto then DIVES to take out Dunne! Garza goes up the ropes to LIONSAULT!!

But Ford flies in FROM THE HEAVENS!! The fans are thunderous as everyone is down again! Bate flounders, Dawkins tags in! Dawkins whips Legado, Ford joins in, THE REVELATION!! Cover, PROFITS WIN!

Winners: The Street Profits, by pinfall (NEW #1 Contenders to the WWE Tag Team Championships)

Waller & Theory are relieved it isn’t AOP, but they still look a bit annoyed that it is Ford & Dawkins. The Profits are Triple Crown Tag Team Champions from Raw to SmackDown to NXT, but will they soon add the WWE Tag Team Championships to make it a grand slam?

 

Backstage interview with Bayley.

Byron Saxton is with The Role Model, and brings up the emotional moment from Monday Night Raw where Rhea Ripley had to relinquish her title. But let us focus on Bayley’s title, as she defends it for the first time against Naomi. Where is her head at ahead of the main event? Bayley says after seeing Rhea vacate the Women’s World Championship on Raw, Bayley appreciates her reign more. She is focused, and she has realized she’s THE Women’s Champion in WWE right now, something she does not take for granted. Because we all know that with the WWE Draft, things are bound to change.

And as excited as Bayley is to face her friend, Naomi, one thing that won’t change is her as THE WWE Women’s Champion. Bayley is just as confident at Naomi, so something’s gotta give! Will The Role Model #FeelTheGlow? Or will she still be shining with gold after tonight?

 

Paul Heyman talks with Solo Sikoa.

The Wise Man apologizes that they haven’t found Kevin Owens, but he has to be here somewhere. Just look at the time. They will find him, somewhere. Solo stops listening and heads to gorilla. Heyman follows after, but Solo gives him a look. Heyman says he isn’t trying to upset Solo. Please believe him. The last person on this planet Heyman wants to piss off is Solo. But respectfully, Solo is making decisions that are not his to make, yet. One day, these will all be Solo’s decisions. But not now, not here! These are decisions that can only be made by one man. Solo asks Heyman if he’s done talking. Heyman asks if MFT is coming with Solo.

Solo just gives a thumbs up, with that taped thumb. The music hits and Solo makes his entrance, Heyman still following all the way into the ring. What does the Enforcer have planned? We’ll find out, after the break.

SmackDown returns and Heyman has the mic to give his usual introduction. And he doesn’t know if there is a list of the most brilliant backstage maneuvering politicians int he history of the WWE, but if there were, Heyman would have to think that he personally is in the top… Well, permit Heyman, with Solo’s permission, to explain what’s going on right now within The Bloodline, “the premier act in the history of WWE.” The fans chant, “We Want Roman!” but Solo shrugs that off. Heyman assures us that as The Wise Man for… Heyman gets emotional, so Solo just snatches the mic! The fans boo but Solo paces.

Solo tries to talk but the fans boo. Solo says last week, he had to lose a brother! He had to! It was in order for him to find a new one! His MFT, Tama Tonga! And with that, a bloodied Kevin Owens is tossed out, by the Good Bad Guy! Tama shoves Kevin down the ramp, stalks behind him, and referees rush out to stop him from doing anything further! Kevin can’t even sit up, but Tama steps over him to go to the ring. The fans boo as Tama joins Solo in the ring while the refs help Kevin to his feet and to the back. Tama raises his finger to the sky, because he acknowledges Solo! Heyman has no choice but to go along, but wait! Kevin is heading back down the ramp!?

The fans fire up as Kevin shows his grit and defiance! He drags Tama out to fire off hands!! The fans cheer but then Solo whips Kevin into steel steps! Solo drags Kevin back up, puts him in the ring, but now security rushes in! Tama storms in after Kevin but Kevin TACKLES Tama! The security gets Kevin away from Tama, but Solo SAMOAN SPIKES Kevin down!! The fans boo but then Tama SPLASHES Kevin! Tama rains down fists on that bloody wound, then he DECKS guard after guard! Producers try but Tama is a madman! Tama shoves everyone away so he can slip out of the ring, to grab a chair!!

The fans boo as Tama storms back in, but now Aldis steps up! Aldis warns The Bloodline here, and Solo has Tama stand down. Solo takes the chair from Tama to show they’re done here. The fans chant “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!” but the damage is done. Solo & Tama are a dangerous duo, will nothing and no one stop them from taking over SmackDown?

 

Heyman goes to the parking lot.

He’s in shock, but Aldis finds him and pulls him along. Was Heyman aware of this? Aldis shows Heyman the aftermath of one car T-boning another! And in case Heyman can’t guess, the struck car was Kevin’s. The attacking car was Tama’s! Heyman says this wasn’t authorized! No, Heyman, Aldis is speaking now. He gets this is a conflict within The Bloodline, but on his show, things are settle din the ring. Next week is the Draft, a lot of eyeballs on it, and a lot top brass are gonna be here. So Aldis will not tolerate this behavior. So make sure The Bloodline understands. Because, Heyman, if you don’t, the repercussions will be equally savage.

Aldis brings Heyman in close to tell him losing isn’t the only thing that has consequences. Will the Wise Man be able to rein in such an unruly force as Solo and Tama?

 

Carlito w/ Zelina Vega VS Santos Escobar w/ Elektra Lopez!

The LWO still doesn’t believe Legado’s claims that they had nothing to do with Dragon Lee going down before WrestleMania, so they’re going to get to the bottom of this one themselves! Will Caribbean Cool make the Emperor of Lucha confess his crimes? Or will Santos prove he was right all along?

The bell rings and the two talk trash. Then they start throwing hands! Carlito backs Santos down but Santos gets around to whisper something in Carlito’s ear. Carlito ELBOWS Santos away, runs up and hits a THESZ PRESS! Carlito then bumps Santos off buckles, fires hands, then has him in another corner. Carlito whips corner to corner, runs up, but Santos BOOTS him! Santos runs up, but into a SPINEBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Vega coaches Carlito to stay on Santos and he brings Santos up. Carlito ROCKS Santos, whips, but Santos KICKS him! Santos runs, but into a DROPKICK! Carlito kips up and the fans fire up!

Santos is on the outside, the ref won’t let Carlito go after him, but then Carlito WRECKS Santos with a dropkick! Carlito loads up to PLANCHA! Direct hit on Santos and Carlito hoists Vega up to celebrate! The fans cheer the LWO on as SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns and Santos whips Carlito hard into buckles. Carlito falls over, Santos soaks up the heat, then Santos HEADBUTTS Carlito to a corner. Santos then CHOPS, gets space and runs in, to DOUBLE KNEE! Carlito slumps in the corner but Santos puts him up top! Santos GAMANGIRIS then climbs up! SUPER STEINER! Carlito flounders, Santos pushes him to a cover, TWO! Vega is relieved but Santos huffs and puffs. Santos rains down fists on Carlito, then clamps on a top wristlock. Carlito endures and Vega coaches him while the fans rally. Carlito rises, throws body shots, then LARIATS!

The fans rally as Carlito starts to rally with more clotheslines, and an ELBOW! Carlito kicks, runs, and KNEE LIFTS! Santos wobbles, Carlito LARIATS again! Cover, TWO! Santos is tougher than that but Carlito says he’s going up! Carlito climbs, but then Lopez gets on the apron! Vega storms right over to YANK her down! The fans fire up as Vega goes up, and RANAS, only for Lopez to block! Lopez SWINGS Vega into barriers! Carlito ROCKS Santos, steps in, but the ref is reprimanding Lopez so he misses Santos KICK ropes to jam Carlito low! Santos reels Carlito in to POST him, then brings him back for the fireman’s carry! PHANTOM DRIVER!! Cover, Santos wins!

Winner: Santos Escobar, by pinfall

La Madrina helps The Emperor steal this victory, them taking down the Caribbean Cool and La Muneca! Whether or not Legado beat down Dragon Lee, will nothing stop them from conquering SmackDown?

 

VIP Skybox interview with Damage CTRL!

Kayla is with Iyo Sky, Dakota Kai, Kairi Sane & Asuka as they sit way up in the back. What made the former WWE Women’s Champion and crew want a special view of this main event? Dakota takes offense for Iyo with the use of “former” there. Is Kayla trying to disrespect them? Iyo will take that title back when they’re good and ready. But for now, they’re here to watch two people they can’t stand tear each other apart! Does Dakota need to remind everyone here that DMG CTRL is still the most dominant force in the WWE!? The fans boo but Dakota says the Kabuki Warriors are STILL the WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions, and that will not change-

WAID! Jade Cargill is here! She makes her entrance from the other skybox, with Bianca Belair alongside her! The strongEST duo argues with DMG CTRL, their own title intentions clear. But for now, it’s time for the main event! Who shines with gold here in the Steel City? We find out, after the break!

 

Cody Rhodes speaks.

The American Nightmare is in the UK as part of Raw’s tour, but he still took time to say, “What is the task? Run up the score, leave no doubt, right? Formerly, the task was ‘win the big belt, in the big place.’ We’ve done that. Now, it’s a whole new frontier for us, undiscovered country.” There’s an old expression: the title can make the man, or the man makes the title. Which will it be for Cody? He’s in London tonight, the O2, 16 THOUSAND, then it’s on to Belfast, Ireland. Cody is keeping his promise to bring this title all around the world. Back home, AJ Styles has emerged the #1 contender to this championship.

So then, it will be two Georgia boys duking it out in Lyon, France. The first time ever, at that. Styles has an unprecedented reputation in pro-wrestling. The modern day Excellence of Execution, if you will. Styles rarely misses. But the same goes for Cody. So Backlash in France, Cody looks forward to it. The contract signing is next week, even as the WWE Draft is going on! Will things be explosive when American Nightmare and Phenomenal One meet face to face?

 

WWE Women’s Championship: Bayley VS Naomi!

SmackDown returns and Bayley makes her entrance. The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and either we shine or we glow!

The bell rings, the fans rally, and the two circle. The two tie up, go around, and Bayley headlocks. Naomi powers up but Bayley wrenches to wristlock. Naomi slips through, rolls Bayley up, ONE!! The fans rally as the two go again. Naomi waistlocks, Bayley headlocks to hit a takeover, and she makes it a cover, TWO! Naomi fights up to her feet, powers up but Bayley wrenches gain. Naomi waistlocks, O’Conner Rolls, ONE! Both women get up, Naomi ducks the boot but Bayley arm-drags her around! Bayley has the cording hold, the fans rally up, and Naomi fights to her feet. Naomi whips Bayley away, but Bayley runs her over!

The fans cheer and Bayley tells DMG CTRL she’s watching them, too. Things speed up, Naomi does the splits to duck under, then she comes back to kick from below! She drags Bayley into a cradle, ONE!! Bayley hurries to step over, LA MAGISTROL! ONE!! Naomi and Bayley get up, Naomi trips Bayley to jackknife, ONE!! Ghost pin, TWO! Both women hurry up, DOUBLE CROSSBODIES collide! The fans rally while both women are down, evenly matched in this chess game so far. Both women rise, and Naomi SHOTGUNS first! Then she runs up, uses the ropes to slingshot and BULLDOG! Cover, TWO! Naomi is frustrated but keeps her focus.

Naomi drags Bayley up, Bayley shoves her away. Naomi dodges the lariat to hit REAR VIEW! Cover, TWO!! Bayley survives but Naomi lets her know it was that close, and SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns again and Bayley whips Naomi to a corner, runs in, but into a BOOT! Bayley gets up, Naomi runs up, JAWBREAKER! Bayley ends up in a corner now, Naomi runs in, and she forearm SMASHES! Naomi then runs Bayley corner to corner for a BUCKLE BULLDOG! Naomi slips out to the apron while Bayley flounders, and Naomi climbs. The fans duel as Naomi CROSSBODIES! Cover, TWO! Bayley is tougher than that but Naomi knows that. Naomi keeps her focus while DMG CTRL, Bianca & Jade all focus on them. Naomi ROCKS Bayley, tries the ropes again, but Bayley stops the bulldog to SMACK Naomi off buckles!

Bayley then reels Naomi in, SAIDO! High stack, TWO! Naomi is still in this and Bayley remembers Naomi’s tougher than that, too. Bayley drags Naomi into a drop zone, then goes up the corner! Bayley aims, to MACHO ELBOW onto knees! Bayley writhes, Naomi goes to the apron. Bayley stands, runs up, but into a ROUNDHOUSE! Naomi slingshots, for a FACEBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Bayley survives and Naomi is stunned! Naomi refocuses, goes to the corner, and goes up to SPLIT LEG MOONSAULT onto knees! Bayley returns the favor and both women are down. Bayley shakes out the leg, stands and runs, to KNEE Naomi down!

Bayley hurries to put Naomi back in a drop zone, and then hobbles her way to a corner. Bayley climbs, to MACHO ELBOW!! Direct hit this time and Bayley covers, TWO!! Naomi survives and Bayley is frustrated. Bayley hobbles on the bad leg, leans on ropes while she catches her breath, and the fans duel even more. Bayley stalks Naomi, hooks her up, but Naomi PELES free! Naomi hurries to a corner, Bayley runs up, but Naomi goes up to sunset flip! TWO!! But into the BUTTERFLY LOCK!! Bayley endures, reaches out with her legs, but then she tucks to a cover, TWO!! Naomi gets up, both women throw forearms!

They both wobble, storm up, and Bayley eggs Naomi on. Naomi wants this, right? So hit her! Naomi fires a forearm, Bayley hits back! Naomi winds up to forearm, Bayley comes back with another! The fans fire up as the forearms go harder and faster! Bayley gets the edge, but Naomi SWATS one, to SCORPION KICK, and then JUMP KNEE! Bayley tumbles out of the ring, Naomi PLANCHAS! Direct hit and a hard one, both women are down on the floor! The ring count starts, Naomi stirs at 3 of 10. Naomi brings Bayley up, but BAYLEY2BELLY onto the desk!! The count is 7! Naomi flounders on the desk, but then TIFFANY ATTACKS BAYLEY!!!

Winner: Bayley, by disqualification (still WWE Women’s Champion)

Tiffany makes herself the center of attention as always as she ruins this main event! She dribbles Naomi off the desk, then RAMS Bayley into steel steps! Then she drags Naomi off the desk to POST her! Tiff storms back over to Bayley, puts her in the ring, then adds Naomi in, too. Tiff says sorry not sorry, but it’s Tiffy Time! Tiffy goes to the corner, for the PRETTIEST MOONSAULT EVER! Tiff flexes over both champion and challenger, having upset Bianca & Jade but having entertained DMG CTRL. But will Wrestling Barbie pay for pissing off the Role Model?

My Thoughts:

A great SmackDown that also acted as a WWE Draft go-home. Great match from Styles and Knight to open the night but also follow-up their WrestleMania match. Naturally, Styles wins because then he and Knight are 1-1 in 1v1 matches, and also natural Face VS Heel right there. Good promo from Cody Rhodes, that title match is going to be awesome. Awesome new looks for the WWE Tag Team Championships, though maybe too much gold. Nothing really pops when it’s all the same color, so they should’ve had silver on the WWE logo and the words, “Tag Team Champions,” but it’s still a great redesign.

We also got an awesome Fatal 4 Way tag match, with Theory & Waller decent on commentary. And pieces are falling into place for what I was thinking: Profits win the right to face Theory & Waller, we’ll surely get Lashley wanting the US Championship, we’ll get a good faction feud there as we approach those title matches. Also good continuation of the LWO VS Legado feud with Carlito VS Santos, and distractions of course helped Santos win. There’s gotta come a point where Carlito reveals it was him, Dragon Lee, it was him all along! Now, that would make like the third turn since the start of this rivalry (Santos to Heel, Andrade to Face and Carlito to Heel) but hey, the drama is heightened each time, and maybe Dragon Lee will actually get a win in this feud.

Great stuff in Bayley VS Naomi, as well as all the promos. DMG CTRL watching from the skybox, same as Bianca & Jade, was good stuff. The tag title match is definitely coming for Backlash, that will be great stuff. But I should’ve figured Tiffany would “ruin” the main event so that there won’t really be a choice between Bayley and Naomi. The Draft is coming, hopefully they think to keep all three on the same brand, and probably here on SmackDown, so that those three can have it out. I don’t know the chances of a Triple Threat for Backlash but it still feels possible. Though  at the same time, I don’t think they’d take the title off Bayley after only a month, so she’d probably use Tiffany against Naomi to retain.

And what wild stuff with this new, more vicious Bloodline. Solo is in a suit because he certainly thinks he is Tribal Chief already, given Roman Reigns did give him the nod as “Tribal Heir” a few months ago. And while Tama is the MFT, which everyone is already wondering what that even means, it’s clear he’s also the right hand man and a loose cannon at that. Without the Draft, it’d be pretty wild for Jimmy to come back and help Kevin against this new Bloodline. With the Draft, we could get Jey back on the same brand as his family and then he and Jimmy stand against Solo and Tama. But either way, it’ll be a wild ride in this new chapter and I’m all for it.

My Score: 8.9/10


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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 4.18.2024

Motor City Machine Guns either go out on their backs, or head to Rebellion as champs! Lets see how they finish their current run in TNA!

Published

1 day ago

on

April 18, 2024

By

No burying the lead here! The Main Event is The System versus Motor City Machine Guns, and it’s the Go Home episode before Rebellion! So we’re guaranteed a damn good tag match, and we should get either new wrinkles, or ways to keep the storylines cooking going into the Pay-per-View.

With all the rumors and innuendo about the Guns being on their way out, I think we all assume that MCMG is losing, but my inner fanboy is still excited.

Ratings:

  • Little Guido w/New FBI vs Hammerstone: Hammerstone wins via Torture Rack – SQUASH
  • LSG vs Joe Hendry: Hendry wins via Standing Ovation – SQUASH
  • Mustafa Ali & GYV vs Cody Deaner, Jake Something & Rhyno: Ali wins via 450 Splash – ** 3/4
  • Rosemary w/Havok vs Jody Threat w/Dani Luna: Rosemary wins via Spear – ***
  • Motor City Machine Guns (Chris Sabin & Alex Shelley) vs The System (Eddie Edwards & Brian Myers) w/Alisha Edwards: System wins via Roster Cut + Knee Party – *** 1/4

 

Results:

So we kick off the match with Josh coming out to commentary again to watch Hammerstone’s match. They really need a new way to try and keep heat without reusing the same tired gimmick of “ring side seat” to a Squash match.

Little Guido w/New FBI vs Hammerstone

Guido tries to shoot the half, but Hammerstone shrugs him off, lifts him like a child and runs him into a corner, few short shots and then just tosses him across the ring. Hammer gets a little distracted talking smack to Josh and eats a foot, but then tosses Guido with the ole Sack of Shit move and keeps working over Guido.

Hammer shoves Clayton, and provokes him to push him back right in front of the referee. She ejects them, Guido tries to take advantage but when he goes for the pinfall Hammer kicks out immediately and presses Guido out of thing through the ropes. Continues to dog walk Guido, puts the head gear on the ECW Original and then Torture Racks him while staring directly at Josh, and of course picks up the submission victory.

LSG vs Joe Hendry

Hendry cuts a little promo, mentioning the Fat Uncle Phil joke…something about shopping at the TOP Dollar Store. Solid mic work.

LSG is a damn good local talent, he’s been seen in ROH and AEW in the past (perhaps others, but that’s what comes to mind immediately for me), but we all know this is an enhancement match. A few nice chain wrestling spots early, but Hendry uses his power to stop the smaller wrestler, Sack of Shit into Standing Ovation and the match is over quickly.

Mustafa Ali & GYV vs Cody Deaner, Jake Something & Rhyno

Well okay, having Deaner ask the crowd if they wanted a 3v2 or their third member…RHYNO…is pretty much a no brainer in Philly. But at least the gimmick isn’t quite as cringe as I expected.

Jake starts with Zack Gibson and throws him around. Jake goes for the tag and Deaner asks the crowd who Jake should tag, and the crowd picks Rhyno. Rhyno Whips Gibson into a corner, Drake actually softens the impact, allowing Gibson to fire back, tag out, but Rhyno levels both GYV members and then even knocks Ali off the apron. Rhyno tries to call to the crowd to tag in Deaner and that goes over like a fart in church. He tags him in anyway, and the crowd is kinda dead and doing whatever it wants after the obvious ECW chants when Rhyno tagged in.

GYV take a couple lumps but they of course start to work over Deaner and capture some momentum. Solid tandem work from GYV, they cut off Deaner from making a tag and goad Jake a little to cause the ref to block off the babyfaces so the heels can take a few shortcuts. Cody eventually makes the tag to Rhyno, hot tag, he tries to set up the Gore but the GYV manage to stop him in his tracks and hit an Enzuigiri to daze the Man Beast, he falls to his corner and Jake tags himself in. Jake literally runs them all over, tags in Cody and Launches him from the Top Rope into Zack Gibson. Ali makes the save and Jake tries to get his hands on Ali, but the GYV keep throwing themselves at him, literally. The triple team finally gets the best of Jake, they hit 3 Dives and then post Jake, so they gather around Cody like hyenas.

They forgot about Rhyno, he’s set up for a Gore, he Gores Drake, Gibson and Ali take out Rhyno, but then Cody starts to fight back. Ali stops Deaner’s offense with an Avalanche Sunset Bomb, then hits his 450 Splash. Jake barely misses being able to break up the pin.

Rosemary w/Havok vs Jody Threat w/Dani Luna

Jody tries to start quickly with Shoulder Tackles, Lariats and Scoop Slams, and it does seem somewhat effective. Rosemary is having trouble finding offense against the intensity, but she keeps kicking out. Shotgun Dropkick finally gives Rosemary an opening, she goes into full mount and rains down strikes. Rosemary shoves Jody into a corner and Bites her in the corner. Jody tries to fight out, they go across and Rosemary catches her with the legs and puts her in the Upside Down. Splash in the corner from Rosemary, Exploder Suplex and Jody is eating a lot of offense.

Rosemary looks like she’s caught after she gets tripped up into the ropes and Jody goes for her Rope Knee into the German, but Rosemary dodges. Rosemary hits her own suplex and pulls out a beautiful Last Chancery! I haven’t seen her do that in a long time. Jody manages to fight to the ropes, Rosemary is a little slow to capitalize and eats a Pump Kick. Rosemary goes flying into the ropes, Jody hits the Double Knees into the German this time for 2, and they trade a few haymakers after that. Jody folds Rosemary with a low Lariat, Zombie rise spot a few times, Jody goes for a pinfall and Rosemary kicks out.

Havok jumps up on the apron, Dani meets her and they decide to step down, but the distraction was enough. Jody turns around and eats a Spear. Rosemary wins!

Motor City Machine Guns (Chris Sabin & Alex Shelley) vs The System (Eddie Edwards & Brian Myers) w/Alisha Edwards

Eddie and Shelley start off, and its a very simple slow start. Mostly an early stalemate, the typical Japanese style the TNA seem to love to employ. Starters tag out, but then Shelley with the blind tag, Sabin Baseball Slides out, picks Eddie’s ankle and sends his face bouncing off the apron, while Shelley sneaks up being Myers and they hit a tandem move before we cut to commercial. Off of the commercial it looks like Eddie and Myers regained control. But a nice Jawbreaker from Shelley sends Eddie falling back into the MCMG corner. Dragon Screws to both legs from Sabin and Shelley, and we get the Dragon Screw dissection spot for the Guns.

Myers gets sick of things, tries to get involved, but Simultaneous Figure Fours from the MCMG makes The System look silly. Alisha does the classic “push the rope forward” gimmick to assist Eddie in breaking the hold. She keeps chirping at Shelley until she finally grabs his foot. Shelley doesn’t take kindly, tries to grab her by the hair but she gets away, Shelley eats a strike and falls back to the ropes so Lish can just throttle him with the rope, Sabin walks over and acts like he’s going to PK her and the look of disgust on her face is hilarious, like “how dare he threaten to kick her”. Would I be mad is Masha decides to team with Lish and they win the Knockouts Tag titles? No, because the Knockouts Tags are trash. But I still prefer Lish as valet/manager.

Shelley starts fighting back after another commercial break, Eddie tries to cut him off, but Sabin clocks Eddie and Shelley manages to make the tag and Sabin comes in. Lights up both System members, Kick off Tornado DDT, into a Running Gamengiri. Eddie tries to counter but Shelley assists, tandem strikes, Double Baseball Slide into the classic MCMG spot 5 Hole Dive! Keeping up with the classics Shelley stacks the System members on each other and hit the Missile Dropkick/Flatliner spot. As the Guns are rolling, Sabin accidentally catches Sabin with his foot and The System take control! They hit their pieces of the System Overload spot, but Sabin kicks out. Roster Cut attempt from Myers, but Shelley is back. High Speed Dirt, Machine Gun Sandwich, but Lish grabs Shelley’s foot when they’re setting up Skull and Bones. Shelley gets dropped on the turnbuckle and thrown out, Sabin eats the Roster Cut followed up with Boston Knee Party and System retains!

Its a little weird to have had the two commercial cuts and the fact there’s still Nic Nemeth to follow. So it feels a little flat, I hope this wasn’t their swan song match, because it was nice to see some classic spots, but it was entirely too abbreviated. 

Nemeth comes out, goes into the crowd and finds a kid with a kendo stick and borrows a beer from someone, so he does a bit of a Sandman tribute. Moose cuts off his promo basically immediately. He throws out the “can’t beat the system” line again, and Nic rolls with the punches well. Moose uses a few cute analogies about Nic having a failure laden past, but Nemeth bites back and its really damn good. He says he can see it in Moose’s eyes that he thinks he’s getting in the ring with Dolph Ziggler, but no, there is no more old Dolph Ziggler, just the new Nic Nemeth. And Moose’s cool seems to be slightly shaken after those words. Good promo.

Overall Score: 6.5/10

So this was okay, if it didn’t end as strongly as it did, I would’ve rated this much lower. Two squash matches in the beginning, reusing the Josh comes out to the announce table to watch trope is boring, hell even Clayton’s shove to Hammerstone was super lame looking. The Deaner match was luke warm at best, but things picked up around the Rosemary match.

Lets also not overlook the segments with ASH & Xia, Jonathan Gresham’s whole deal and EY having to return to the violence/sickness/world class maniac, whatever you want to call it, were all great building blocks. This definitely wasn’t what I would call a strong Go Home, but it didn’t hurt things for Rebellion. The whole injury of Cardona was addressed, which honestly sounded weird since Jordynne basically said she was expecting them to have a backup plan so she has a backup plan. I don’t really like how that video package came across.

But who knows, all I know is, this wasn’t an awful episode, it just wasn’t really strong either.  Here’s to hoping Rebellion Saturday is still strong.


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