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Mitchell’s WWE Royal Rumble Report! (1/28/18)

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All images courtesy of the WWE Network streaming service.

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Kickoff Match, Six Man Tag: Team Lucha Spirit VS TJP, Drew Gulak & Jack Gallagher; Lucha Spirit wins.
  • Kickoff Match, The Club VS The Revival; The Revival wins.
  • Kickoff Match, WWE United States Championship Open Challenge: Bobby Roode VS ???; Roode wins and retains the WWE US Championship.
  • WWE Championship 2-on-1 Handicap: AJ Styles VS Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn; Styles wins and retains the WWE Championship.
  • WWE SmackDown Tag Team Championship Best 2 out of 3 Falls: The Usos VS Chad Gable & Shelton Benjamin; The Usos win 2-0 and retain the WWE SmackDown Tag Team Championships.
  • Men’s Royal Rumble Match; Nakamura wins and chooses to challenge for the WWE Championship at Wrestlemania 34.
  • WWE Raw Tag Team Championship: Seth Rollins & Jason Jordan VS The Bar; The Bar wins and become the new WWE Raw Tag Team Champions.
  • WWE Universal Championship Triple Threat: Brock Lesnar w/ Paul Heyman VS Kane VS Braun Strowman; Lesnar wins and retains the WWE Universal Championship.
  • Inaugural Women’s Royal Rumble Match; Asuka wins, but does not make a decision for Wrestlemania.

PLAY BY PLAY

Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn answer your questions in the Social Media Lounge!

However, neither of the best friends are that happy about it. Use #AskSamiKO to ask them something before their handicap title match against AJ Styles!

 

Alexa Bliss joins the Kickoff Panel.


A small part of the Goddess wants to be in that inaugural Women’s Royal Rumble, but she also likes being the woman the winner might come after. Just like in the Men’s Rumble, the winner of the Women’s Rumble can choose the champion she challenges. That means they could challenge Alexa or Charlotte Flair, regardless of what brand they were before. A poll shows that people think Asuka is the most likely to win tonight, and Alexa chooses Nia Jax. She wants that “Best Friends” championship match, but if it is Asuka, Alexa can prepare and be ready for her. The King notes Alexa is quite possibly the most confident champion he’s ever known, is she really worried about who wins? Alexa knows she has enemies, but she’s a fighting champion, and a smart champion, so she’ll welcome any challenger.

Who does Alexa definitely not want to face? Alexa knows she doesn’t have to fear Asuka. But championship aside, Alexa is excited as anyone for this Women’s (R)Evolution leading to this inaugural Royal Rumble, because it embodies the truth of the movement: it isn’t just one woman, but all of them. She’s sure everyone feels the pressure, because of who they will face at Wrestlemania. King redirects the talk to be more about Alexa, and Alexa thanks him. She then wraps up by saying that whoever wins tonight only wins the right to lose to her at ‘Mania. Will the Goddess eat her words before the end of the night?

 

Jason Jordan finds Seth Rollins backstage.

The Gold-Blooded Son has good timing, as the Architect was hoping to talk to him. Jordan lets Rollins know he’s honored to be teamed with him. That, and his dad Angle knew what he was doing when putting them together. With Jordan’s Olympic pedigree and Rollins’ brains, they’re gonna break The Bar. Angle knew they were going to be great tag team champions! But speaking of great tag teams, Chad Gable and his new partner Shelton Benjamin appear.

What happened to make Jordan into a daddy’s boy? Sorry, Gable, this room is for champions only. The two old friends reveal they’re just joking around and hug it out. Rollins leaves them to catch up, Jordan and Benjamin make proper introductions. They’ve heard a lot about each other, and Benjamin remembers back to his Team Angle days. Speaking of fathers, congratulations to Gable on having another baby. Jordan remembers back to being American Alpha with Gable, or as they were almost known, the new World’s Greatest Tag Team. Oh? “Sounds like a knock-off.” Gable intervenes, and mentions how Jordan still “dumped” Gable to be a “singles wrestler”. How is that going, by the way? Well yeah, he is a tag team champion again, but at least that makes one of them. Good luck with the Usos, though. Benjamin can’t believe that guy used to be Gable’s partner…

 

Kickoff Match, Six Man Tag: Team Lucha Spirit VS TJP, Drew Gulak & Jack Gallagher!


Kalisto, Lince Dorado & Gran Metalik were successful as a trio on Tuesday’s 205 Live, but the “Cruiser-Great” has found himself two new partners to try again. Can TJP turn things around? Or will he once again end up #TJPissed?

The bell rings, and Kalisto leads off against Gulak. The chanting annoys Gulak, even if it is for his PowerPoint. Kalisto and Gulak circle, tie up, and Gulak powers Kalisto the mat. Kalisto slips out and the two hand fight, but Kalisto bakcs off to troll Gulak with “Lucha! Lucha!” Gulak runs at him but Kalisto gets around with a waistlock. Gulak throws Kalisto off and sits on the arm to cover, ONE. The Cruiserweight Crusader brings Kalisto up in a facelock but Kalisto trips him up, for a modified deathlock!

Gulak sits back for a cover, TWO, and the two separate. He tags in the Ungentle Gentleman, and Kalisto tags in the King of the Ropes. There is still history between these two from when Gallagher & THE Brian Kendrick injured Metalik’s knee, now Metalik has a chance to settle things. They tie up, Gulak gets a wristlock but Metalik rolls to snapmare and roll, ONE. Gallagher gets all the way out of the ring, Gulak keeps Metalik from pursuing. Gallagher takes his time to reenter, and they circle again. TJP tags in, so the luchadors troll TJP with a group dab.

Lince tags in, he has unfinished business with TJP as well. TJP gets the waistlock, but Lince the standing switch and takedown. TJP reverses again, so Lince handsprings and reverses back. Lince tags Kalisto, Kalisto kicks TJP’s arm. TJP powers out of the headlock but not the takeover, ONE. They stand up, TJP powers out of the hold now, things speed up and Kalisto handsprings to headscissor TJP before a dropkick! Tag back to Lince, Lince climbs up to double knee the arm. Lince chops TJP sharply, whips but is reversed, Lince goes to monkey flip but TJP cartwheels through. TJP feels confident, but that chop takes it out of him. Lince whips but is reversed, Lince slips under to arm drag and headscissor TJP. Trip to standing moonsault, TWO! Lince keeps on TJP with a whip but TJp slips to the outside, only to get dropkick’d out! Gulak runs in, he gets sent out. Gallagher hurries over to regroup with his team, but the Lucha Spirit trio go to the near corner. TRIPLE SUPER Asai Moonsaults!

The fans love the lucha spirit shown while we go to break.

We return to find TJP powers Lince to a corner. He unloads a European Uppercut then whips corner to corner, but Lince boots back. Lince hops up, but gets dropkick’d out of the air! Gulak tags in, he puts Lince in the corner and stomps on him. Gallagher gets cheap shots while Gulak goes after Kalisto and Metalik. Gulak drags Lince out to stomp the knees and tag in Gallagher. Gallagher goes after Lince’s legs, and taunts Metalik before stomping both knees. Cover, ONE, but Gallagher returns to the legs. He wrenches Lince’s foot with a toehold, but Metalik is there to cheer Lince on. Gallager goes to the other foot now, twisting and bending before dropping knees on the knee. Lince endures another knee drop, but then Gallagher drags him over to tag Gulak back. Gulak blasts Metalik off again before stomping on Lince. He stomps Lince in the corner, stops at 4, but Gallagher gets more cheap shots. Gulak tags TJP, they double leg whip Lince down, then TJP puts Lince in his own deathlock variant while a rally builds.

TJP covers, TWO, Lince keeps his shoulders up. TJP goes to put his full weight on Lince but Lince monkey flips his way to the corner then jumps for a sunset flip. TWO, and TJP denies a tag by hanging Lince up on the top rope. Lince tumbles down to the ground, TJP puts him back in. Cover, TWO, and TJP grows annoyed. The fans rally again, but Gallagher tags in to snapmare and scrape Lince. Gallagher gives a cheap shot to Kalisto, then climbs up to the second rope. Gulak protests, this is against #Drewtopia rules! Gallagher says it’s fine if it’s just the once!

They argue while Lince stirs. Gallagher takes aim as he tight rope walks, but he belly flops!

Metalik rallies the fans, and Gallagher admits Gulak was right. Tags, Gulak and Metalik are in. Metalik moves fast, handspring wheelbarrow arm-drag! He evades then chops Gulak before walking the ropes for the missile dropkick. Metalik fires Philly up as he goes to the top rope, springboard elbow drop!

Gallagher breaks the pin just in time. He gets Gulak up, but Kalisto tags in. He gets them both with the Listo Kick, then Lince handsprings for a DOUBLE Dorado Stunner!

Gulak and Gallagher roll all the way out, Metalik FLIES!

Metalik puts Gulak in, Kalisto covers, TWO! Kalisto keeps his focus but Gulak hits back. TJP tags in, Kalisto dropkicks Gulak but TJP grabs Kalisto. Kalisto escapes, standing switch and roll up, TJP tries the tights but Kalisto rolls through, SALIDA DEL SOL!

Lucha Spirit wins! Will this 2-0 record help one of these luchadors take a step towards the WWE Cruiserweight Championship?

 

Charlotte Flair joins the Kickoff Panel.

The Queen of SmackDown is so excited right now. She can’t think of a better way to start the Road to Wrestlemania than in an inaugural Women’s Rumble match. Just like Alexa, she wishes she was in that match. Charlotte would use the win to challenge Alexa for her title and once again be the WWE Women’s Champion. She also notes that every woman in the WWE has made this movement possible, and this match is the culmination of their work. Who would Charlotte want to face at ‘Mania? Obviously Charlotte knows all 30 women will want at her, she’s the big money. But if Charlotte had to say, her best friend Becky Lynch would be great because of the pure challenge that it presents. Either that, or Nikki Bella, as there is still some “animosity” from how Charlotte took the Divas Championship from her. Then, another natural choice, The Boss, Sasha Banks, to reignite their Raw rivalry.

Is there anyone Charlotte doesn’t want to face? No, she’d even defend her title in the Rumble if she could, so that she can be the first one in and the last one out. She gives herself goosebumps imagining it, though. What about Asuka? Charlotte wants to be the one to break the streak. Tonight makes history one way or another, who will win the Women’s Rumble and who will she challenge?

 

Sami & Kevin are back to answer those questions!

It’s not like they have anything else to do, like prepare for the biggest championship match of their lives. “If u lose, will u break up?” Right, because it takes so much more time to type “Y O U”. Kevin just shifts to blocking accounts. But to actual questions, someone asks if they feel the one who makes the winning pin will be the better of the two co-champions. Kevin answered that earlier, and it’s “No!” The New Day used Free Bird rules, and so will they. Then, they’ll have their own side plates, one on each side? Yes, of course they will! That’s so obvious! And they refuse to talk to Rosenberg, give them The King. One last question: “Do you guys have a straightly for tonight?” Oh obviously that was supposed to be “strategy” but… They’re not stupid enough to reveal it. AJ Styles is eavesdropping in some way to get even a small chance of winning. The strategy will be known to the world when they use it in the match. Kevin hears Rosenberg talk again, he wants WOKEN Matt to help DELETE him.

Renee updates #Kami with news that the handicap match will open the main show. How do they feel about that? They like it, because then they can kick off the Road to KOMania early when #Kami becomes co-champion. Their hometown fans are happy to see them become WWE Champion together, so Kevin & Sami reply in French. Renee can’t keep up but she thanks them for their time. Will Sami & Kevin have a phenomenal night and make history?

 

Kickoff Match, The Club VS The Revival!

The Good Brothers feel right at home in the City of Brotherly Love. Can they defeat Dash Wilder & Scott Dawson again like they did at #Raw25?

The bell rings and Dash starts against The Machine Gun. They tie up, Dash powers Anderson to the Revival corner but Anderson slips away when Dawson makes the tag. The fans chant “Too Sweet! Woop Woop!” while Anderson gets back to his corner. Dash & Dawson talk strategy quickly before Dawson and Anderson tie up. Dawson puts Anderson in a corner, then gives a cheap body shot, chop and haymaker. Anderson replies with EuroUppers but Dawson kicks low. He snapmares Anderson and speeds up, Dawson knocks Anderson down with a shoulder. Anderson gets back up and knocks Dawson down with a calf kick! Anderson wrenches Dawson’s arm and tags in Gallows. The Club whip Dawson and double body drop him! Dawson bails out and Dash regroups with him on the way back to their corner. Gallows grabs at Dawson but the ref backs him down. Dash tags but not legally, so the ref puts him back. Dawson takes advantage of that as Gallows drags him into the ring, he rakes the bigger man’s eyes. Dawson tags Dash, and Dash stomps away in the corner. Gallows fights back but Dash hooks his nose. Gallows still keeps going, as he throws Dash to an open corner and punches away. A big uppercut and a bigger scoop slam, Gallows even slams Dawson. He whips Dash but Dawson saves him. The Club has control while we take a break.

We return Anderson rallies on The Revival. He unloads forearms on Dash but Dawson’s the legal man. Anderson kicks at Dawson but Dawson turns that into a hotshot on the leg. Dash jumps right on Anderson then Dawson takes his turn, dropping elbows on the leg. Dawson stalks Anderson, smacking that leg against the mat. Dawson gives a low dropkick to Anderson’s head, then drops a leg fast. Anderson ends up in the Revival’s corner, Dawson puts him in a Tree of Woe. Dash tags in and The Revival mug Anderson while he’s upside-down. Dash stomps away on Anderson, focusing on the leg. The fans rally for Anderson, Anderson uses his free leg to fight back. Dash tags Dawson, Anderson pushes Dawson away again and again. Dawson keeps on Anderson, giving that bad leg a fall-back deathlock. He tortures Anderson’s leg, to Dash’s liking. Gallows rallies the fans into things, and Anderson fires himself up. He kicks Dawson right in the face, but Dawson tags Dash and Dash keeps Anderson down. Tag back to Dawson, Anderson fights on one leg. Dawson dragon screws but Anderson sits down, TWO! Dash tags back in and both members of The Revival tackle Anderson down. Anderson is isolated and wounded while Dawson tags back in. They keep focus on the leg but fans rally harder for Anderson. Anderson shoves Dawson out of the ring, but Dash gets Dawson back in for a tag. They are too slow to catch Anderson this time, hot tag to Gallows! Gallows rallies on The Revival, handing out uppercuts and clotheslines to them both. He YAKUZA Kicks Dash down then splashes on him, a roundhouse rocks Dawson. Dash runs, YAKUZA Kick again! Tag to Anderson, Magic- Dawson breaks that up, but he gets a big uppercut for it. Dash goes after the limping Anderson, then reels him in, but SPINEBUSTER from Anderson! Cover, Dawson break sit up. Gallows runs in but is thrown out, so he drags Dawson out with him. Dawson baits Gallows and sends him into the post. Dawson then gets on the apron, Anderson jump kicks him down. This leaves Anderson open to Dash’s chop block!

The Revival win, SAY YEAH! With the damage done to the Good Brothers, will the Revival return to being #TopGuys in the WWE tag team division?

 

Kickoff Match, WWE United States Championship Open Challenge: Bobby Roode VS ???

The GLORIOUS One won the vacated title through the US Championship Tournament held on SmackDown before the Rumble. But Roode is a fighting champion, and wishes to put his title on the line, also before the Rumble. “Tonight is all about the numbers.” The Rumbles start with 30 and end with one, just like the US Championship Tournament ended with one GLORIOUS winner! The title has such a rich history, and where else better to continue its history than in Philadelphia!? His challenge is accepted by…

Mojo Rawley! Can #MojoRising succeed the second time around?

The bell rings, and they tie up. Mojo powers Roode down, then pie-faces Roode whiles chant “Mojo Sucks!” Roode runs at Mojo, Mojo shoulders him down. Mojo puts Roode in a corner then trash talks but Roode fights back with haymakers and chops. Roode whpis but is reversed, but Roode fires out with a lariat. Now Roode stalks Mojo, so Mojo gets to the ropes for safety. Mojo returns, but takes the atomic drop and Russian leg sweep. Cover, TWO, but Roode keeps on Mojo with the arm wrench. Mojo hits back with a right hand, then throws Roode at the ropes. Roode wants his DDT but Mojo gets away again. Mojo sends Roode out but Roode comes back only to get knocked back out. The #KillerInstinct leads Mojo to the outside, and Mojo runs around the corner to blast Roode into barriers!

The champion slumps to the ground, but Mojo brings him up and into the ring. Cover, TWO, can Roode get back into this while we go to break?

WWE returns and Mojo is still in control as he slings Roode back into buckles again and again. Roode fights back, rocking Mojo with a right. Mojo rams knees back into Roode, but the referee backs him down. Mojo snapmares Roode and rams a knee into his spine before putting on the chinlock. The fans rally for Roode while he endures the stretch and the trash talk. Roode gets up and powers out to a back suplex! Both men are down but stirring. Roode gets to a corner and drags himself to his feet. He back elbows Mojo away then hops up, he jumps but Mojo catches him. Roode slips out of the scoop and runs to rally with forearms and lariats. He then goes corner to corner for a big clothesline and a neckbreaker! Cover, TWO, but Roode keeps focus. He stalks Mojo to a corner and chops away. Roode whips but Mojo reverses, so Roode knees him away. GLORIOUS Blockbuster!

The fans fire up while Roode winds it up. GLORIOUS pose, but Mojo counters the DDT with a fireman’s carry. Roode slips out, sunset flips, TWO, SPINEBUSTER from Mojo! Cover, TWO! Mojo is frustrated from how close that was. He toys with Roode, trash talking that the title is coming home with Mojo. Mojo runs, Roode gives him a GLORIOUS Spinebuster, TWO! Roode stands up and walks off a sore back, but Mojo again denies the DDT, with a body drop. Mojo throws Roode into the post! He runs adjacent, but into Roode’s boots. Roode hops up, tornado DDT! Cover, Roode wins! Mojo’s #KillerInstinct wasn’t enough, because Roode is still GLORIOUS!

 

“Tonight is about one thing: Opportunity.”

The Royal Rumble is about the opportunity to compete, to trail blaze, and to make history. There will be more Rumble than ever! A battle between monsters, a battle between movements, and a battle to become a legend, all on the same night. “But that’s not enough!” The women of WWE make history once again with the inaugural Women’s Rumble match, the (R)Evolution will be televised! The Road to Wrestlemania starts now!

 

WWE Championship 2-on-1 Handicap: AJ Styles VS Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn!

The Phenomenal One spoke without thinking, and SmackDown GM Daniel Bryan made this match reality! Can he defeat #Kami at the same time to deny them making history as WWE World Co-Champions?

The fans are already thunderous for the champion even before the bell. Kevin starts for #Kami as the bell rings. Styles and Kevin circle but then Kevin tags out to Sami. The Underdog Guardian Angel enters to the fans serenading him, but then tags right back out to Kevin. Styles keeps his cool while Kevin returns. They circle again, fans chant “YEP! YEP!” versus “NOPE! NOPE!” but Styles gets the first hit. he then whips Kevin but Kevin holds onto the ropes. Kevin pushes past the ref to tag Sami back in. Styles circles with Sami, they tie up, Sami gets teh waistlock but Styles gets the standing switch. They go switch for switch, Styles rolls Sami up, TWO. Sami gets up and goes to his corner, now Styles gets annoyed. Kevin tags in, and circles with Kevin again. Styles gets the waistlock, Kevin the standing switch, but Styles switches back, only for Kevin to trip him up. Styles springs up for the headscissors, then stands between Kevin and Sami.

Sami protests and wants Styles out of the way. Styles stays in front of Kevin so Kevin goes outside and takes the long way around. He tags Sami, and fans actually applaud how well #Kami is trolling Styles. Sami and Styles circle again, tie up, Sami gets the headlock. The fans duel between Styles and Sami, Styles powers out. Things speed up, Styles dropkicks Sami down but Sami scrambles away. Kevin tags in again, and makes sure Sami’s face is okay. Kevin kicks Styles and throws hands and stomps in a corner. The referee backs Kevin off, but Kevin says “And that’s why this is MY show!” He keeps on Styles with body shots, then tags in Sami. Sami stomps a mudhole into Styles, then takes a moment to applaud for himself. Kevin gets a cheap shot in before Sami stands Styles up for a swift chop. Sami chops again, but Styles replies with chops of his own! Styles whips but Sami reverses, big body drop throws Styles! Cover, ONE, but Sami drags Styles up and over. Kevin tags in and mugs Styles before whipping him corner to corner. Cover, TWO, so Kevin rains down rights. He also stomps Styles, then walks off his frustration before going outside with Styles. He throws Styles into the timekeeper barriers!

Styles slumps down but Kevin drags him right back up and into the ring. Cover, ONE, so Kevin grinds a forearm into Styles’ face. Kevin double stomps Styles in the ribs, then tags in Sami. Sami brings Styles up simply to punch him back down. He rams a knee into Styles’ spine then stretches him back in a chinlock. The fans rally for Styles and Styles feeds of the energy to fight back. They end up in #Kami corner, Kevin tags in to club Styles down. Kevin toys with Styles, Styles fights back on #Kami! He chops Kevin, but his whip is reversed. Styles boots back, hops up but Kevin clubs him before putting him on his shoulders. Electric Chair facebuster!

Cover, TWO, and Kevin grows frustrated. He wraps Styles back into a chinlock, squeezing and grinding the champion out. The fans rally again, and Styles stirs. Styles gets to his feet and fights back again. The fans duel now while Kevin throws Styles down by his hair. Styles ends up in a corner, Kevin runs in, but Styles evades the cannonball! That ankle injury aggravates Kevin, forcing him to tag out to Sami. Sami goes after Styles in a corner and then climbs up, but Styles fights back. Styles haymakers Sami before climbing up to join him. Sami fights back and the two brawl up there. Styles somehow manages the SUPER STEINER!

Both men are down but the fans are fired up. Sami crawls while Styles works to get to his feet. Tag to Kevin, but Styles is ready with a PELE! Styles goes down again with Kevin, but Kevin crawls to his corner to tag Sami back in. Sami runs corner to corner, but Styles boots Sami first. Styles hops up, quebrada DDT! The fans love what they see, even as Styles crawls after Sami. Sami tags Kevin back in, Kevin runs back in, but Styles elbows him back. Styles elbows Sami away, but Kevin gives him a monkey flip, that Styles turns into a headscissors on Sami! Styles gets to a corner, Kevin runs in but Styles rolls him for the Calf Crusher!

The bad leg comes into play again! Kevin endures while he reaches for ropes. The fans are thunderous but Sami returns to break the hold! Sami grins and laughs at Styles, but exits at the orders of the ref. Or so we thought! But Styles is ready, he gives Sami the Phenomenal Blitz! Styles throws Sami out, Kevin rolls Styles, TWO! Kevin runs in but Styles sends him into the post! Styles takes this moment to catch his breath, but Sami tags back in. Sami gets behind but Styles resists. They go to ropes and Sami holds onto Styles. The referee counts so Sami has to let go, but Kevin SUPERKICKS Styles behind the ref’s back!

Sami hits the Blue Thunder Bomb!

TWO!! Kevin and Sami cannot believe that! Even so, the fans know “This is Awesome!” Sami stalks Styles to a corner and brings him up for more chops, and even slaps. He hoists Styles to the top rope then climbs up to join him. Sami prepares the superplex but Styles resists. Styles then slips down and out to trip Sami up. Sami hits a buckle while Styles gets separation. Styles runs back in but is put on the apron. He rocks Kevin with one forearm, then Sami with another. Styles adjusts his elbow pad while he takes aim, springboard for the Phenomenal Forearm!

Kevin breaks the pin! The fans keep cheering while Styles and Sami stir. Styles blocks Sami like he did Kevin, then rocks him with a forearm. Sami responds and now we have a brawl. They go back and forth with heavy elbows and forearms, but Styles gets the advantage. Sami gets to a corner, Styles grabs as he tries to make the tag! Kevin gets it by mere fingertips and gets in while Styles throws Sami out. SUPERKICK to Pop- No, Styles reverses into a victory roll! Styles wins!!

Kevin and Sami can’t believe it, and instant replay has a hard time telling if there really was a legal tag. Either way, Styles has the title and denied history. Can Styles keep that title all the way to Wrestlemania in New Orleans?

 

Sami & Kevin complain to Shane McMahon.

They say this isn’t fair! The referee screws them both over now! That tag wasn’t legal, Styles shouldn’t have gotten that pin! Kevin & Sami will not stand for it! They apologize for yelling but this isn’t fair and Shane knows it. Did Shane see it? Yep. Shane leaves the best friends to be furious. Will he leave this issue unresolved?

 

WWE SmackDown Tag Team Championship Best 2 out of 3 Falls: The Usos VS Chad Gable & Shelton Benjamin!

They may not be American Alpha nor the World’s Greatest Tag Team, but the challengers are determined to be champions! Can they shut down the Uso Penitentiary once and for all?

“How do you prepare for two brothers who ain’t got nothing to lose?” “You can’t!” “How do you prepare for two brothers who ride from the womb to the tomb?” “You can’t!” “How do you prepare for two brothers who’ve been down since day one?!” #YouCAN’T and #YouWON’T!

Benjamin and J start with the bell. They circle and tie up, Benjamin drives in knees and forearms. He whips Jey then shoulders him down, tag to Gable and they go for the finish already! Jey slips away, Benjamin lets him know they were that close. Gable comes in as the legal competitor and circles with Jey now. Gable gets the waistlock but Jey the switch, and back again. Jimmy tags in and Jey blocks the rolling German, Gable bails out when he sees the superkicks coming. Now the Usos let Gable know they were that close. Benjamin and Gable regroup to refocus, then Gable returns. Gable and Jimmy circle again. Gable gets the leg, then the waistlock, then the slam. Jimmy ends up in a corner, the ref calls for the break. Gable honors it for a second, but gets a stiff chop from Jimmy, then another. Jimmy whips Gable and Gable reverses, but Jimmy goes up and over to uppercut Gable off his feet. Cover, ONE, but Jimmy keeps focus. He puts on a headlock but Benjamin tags in as Gable powers out. Things speed up, Gable chop blocks Jimmy’s leg! Benjamin drags Jimmy over to the post and slings that leg into it before punching Jimmy and smacking that leg against the apron edge. Benjamin drags Uso up, to chop block that leg again!

He drags Jimmy around to wrench the leg with a toehold. Jimmy endures and fans rally for him. He punches Benjamin back but Benjamin grabs his leg again. Gable tags in and stomps Jimmy before adding onto the leg. Cover, TWO, so Gable goes back at the leg. Jimmy continues to endure, Jey gets fans rallying again. Jimmy kicks free but Gable is right back on him with the dragon screw. Gable tags Benjamin, Benjamin continues going after the leg, saying “this is what you asked for!” He wrenches Jimmy’s knee, then drops knees on it to grind the joint. Jey keeps the fans going, and Jimmy endures while reaching. He uses his free leg again and gets free, but Benjamin still keeps him down. Benjamin tags Gable, Gable clobbers Jimmy. Gable puts Jimmy in a corner and throws hands but Jimmy fights back. Jimmy chops and chops, but Gable goes after the leg with another dragon screw, and another toehold! Cover, TWO, but Gable keeps focus. He drags Jimmy over to tag Benjamin again. They hit double knees, kicks and knee strikes, then a cheap shot for Jey. Benjamin embraces the heat before dropping a knee on Jimmy. Jimmy fires back with uppercuts and chops, and the reverse dragon whip!

Benjamin and Jimmy go down, and Jey gets fans going again. The two men crawl for their corners, hot tag to Jey! Jey rallies, mule kick to uppercut, but Benjamin escapes the Samoan Drop. Benjamin tags Gable but Jey doesn’t see it, so while he dumps Benjamin out, Gable comes in. Even so, Jey clotheslines Gable right back out! Then Jey FLIES onto Benjamin!

Jey returns into the ring, builds speed again, and FLIES onto Gable! The fans fire up while Jey puts Gable back in. Jey climbs up and takes aim, crossbody! TWO! Gable gets to a corner while Jey lets out the “UCE! O!” then hits the running hip attack! Jey goes up top again, but has to land on his feet when Gable evades. Gable waistlocks but standing switch, Jey rolls Gable up, TWO, and Jey is sent into Benjamin’s jumping kick!

Gable rolls, TWO, and the two go back and forth with reversals until Gable gets a double chickenwing. Tiger Suplex pin!

TWO! Gable grows frustrated just with this difficult first fall. Benjamin returns to his corner and Gable tags him in. They prepare the signature, but Jimmy comes in while Jey leans back, so Gable adjusts to missile dropkick Jimmy! Benjamin brings Jey up, and powerbombs him into Jimmy!

Then to Jey, PAY DIRT!

TWO!? Benjamin is shocked! Gable returns while Benjamin brings Jey up. Jey fights back, but takes the original dragon whip kick. Benjamin tags Gable in, Gable climbs up and SUPER Moonsaults onto BOTH Usos!

The Usos topple down and Philly fires up. Gable and Benjamin face a dilemma now: Which Uso is Jey? They choose one and put him in, but even the referee can’t be sure. The other Uso returns, and SUPERKICKS Gable! SUPERKICK to Benjamin! Jey climbs up and jumps for the Uce SPlash! TWO?! Now the Usos are shocked at how tough this first fall has become. Jey tags in Jimmy, and the Usos go to opposite ends. They climb up but Benjamin returns suddenly! He goes after Jey, and kicks him off the top! Jimmy jumps over, SUPERKICKS Benjamin, but then Gable catches him in the hanging armbar! Gable lets go, pushes Jimmy all the way to the Uso corner, but that’s where Jey tags in. Gable rolls with Jimmy but Jey bails him out. One superkick avoided but not the second! Or the third! DOUBLE SUPERKICKS!

The Usos finally take the first fall! However, Benjamin returns and tackles Jey before we can officially start the second! The referee tells Benjamin to stop but he won’t, he throws Jey into the post. He gets Gable up and the both go after Jey with stomps. Then they go out and beat down Jimmy with punches. The fans boo and jeer, but Gable & Benjamin don’t care. They still hit Jimmy with Doomsday to the floor!

The referee orders the challengers back to their corner, and then has them wait while he checks on Jey. Jey accepts and we continue.

The second fall officially begins!

Benjamin tags in but Gable still hits Jey with the rolling kick. Benjamin drags Jey up, but small package surprise, the Usos take the second fall!? They win already!! The look on Gable’s face says it all for him and Benjamin.

With a win like this, are the Usos destined to keep the Penitentiary open forever?

 

Commentary is joined by a special guest!

The legendary Jerry “The King” Lawler is here to call the 2018 edition of the namesake match!

The 2018 Men’s Royal Rumble Match!

Out of 30 men, only ONE can win the chance to challenge any champion he wants! The first entrant is… Aiden English?

No, WWE’s Drama King is merely out here for “Rusev Day,” which English also says is every day of the year. English also introduces the true first entrant: Rusev himself!

The second entrant in the Men’s Rumble is… Finn Balor!

Both men will have a tall task ahead of them if they want to be the winner, especially starting against each other. The bell rings and the two circle each other. They tie up, Rusev picks Finn up and goes to push him out already but Finn fights him off. Finn ends up on the apron but shoulders his way in. He punches Rusev but Rusev throws him down and drops an elbow. Rusev scoops Finn but Finn slips out to try and flip Rusev out. Rusev elbows Finn away, but Finn fights back with strikes. Finn runs but Rusev clobbers him against the ropes. Rusev runs, but Finn dropkicks him down! The clock counts down already, and the third entrant is: Rhyno!

The ManBeast of ECW comes out to great ovation. He enters the ring and goes right at the Bulgarian Brute. Rhyno and Rusev trade haymakers, Rhyno reverses a whip and tackles Rusev in a corner. Then a big belly2belly for Rusev, and one for Finn! The fans chant “E C Dub!” while Rhyno drags Finn up to knock him back down. Rhyno goes to throw Finn out but Rusev clobbers Rhyno from behind. Rusev whips but Rhyno reverses. Rhyno lifts Rusev up but Rusev fights out. Things speed up between the two bigger men, Rusev wheel kicks Rhyno down! The fans count down again, and the fourth entrant is: Baron Corbin!

The Lone Wolf wastes little time hitting the ring, or hitting the others. He uses haymaker after haymaker, then throws Finn across the way before booting Rhyno down. Corbin stmops Rhyno but Rusev comes after him. Corbin slides out then in to lariat Rusev down! The fans boo, but Rhyno evades Corbin tot hrow him with a belly2belly! Rhyno calls for his famous tackle, but Corbin gives him a Deep Six! Corbin eliminates Rhyno! Now Philly really boos him. Corbin swings on Finn, but Finn ducks and dumps him out, Finn eliminates Corbin! And the Lone Wolf throws a tantrum. He drags Finn out to throw him into barriers! The referees order Corbin to leave but the damage was done. In fact, the damage continues as Corbin drags Rusev out to give him End of Days! Corbin has muddied the Rumble already, and finishes up by giving Finn a Choke Slam Backbreaker! The countdown returns and out comes the fifth entrant: Heath Slater!

The One Man Band heads for the ring, but gets run over by Corbin on the way! Security continues to pressure Corbin out of the arena, but it doesn’t matter. Everyone is done, despite not being eliminated. The referees check on each man, from Finn to Rusev to Slater. The countdown hits, and we have the sixth entrant: Elias!

The Drifter makes his way to the ring, and has his pick of the litter. He kicks Slater while he plays the guitar. And he still has to ask, “Who wants to walk with Elias?!” It sounds like all of Philly does tonight. Elias says that “Time is just an illusion.” The only thing that’s real is the light within Elias. That clock won’t start until he gives us “the performance of the year.” Please, silence phones, hold applause and shut mouths so he can begin. “When I win the Rumble, I’ll finally show respect to this place. I’ll walk to the Rocky Statue, and spit right in his face! It’s Elias’ night!” But the clock DOES count. The seventh entrant: Andrade Almas?!

El Idolo brings his NXT Championship and Zelina Vega with him in an attempt to make this his biggest weekend ever! He gives Slater a kick for good measure, then rushes the ring and Elias. Elias and Almas brawl, and fans cheer “CIEN!” on. Elias throws Almas to the ropes, but Almas goes Spider-Man to show how Trainquilo he can be. However, Elias kicks him on the return, then whips him into the corner. Almas goes up and over, then pushes Elias into the back elbow. Elias sits down, Almas gives him CIEN KNEES! Almas drags Elias up, Hammerlock DDT denied for a fireman’s carry. Almas runs, Elias counters but then Almas escapes, Elias runs Almas over with a lariat! The Drifter catches his breath while we meet the eighth entrant: Bray Wyatt!

The Eater of Worlds makes his way out, and the Fireflies are there to greet him. Bray creeps up behind Slater, and throws Slater into the barriers! Bray goes after Elias, big yurinagi slam. Philly fires up while Bray goes into his spider walk. He brings Elias back up, but Finn returns to go after his old nemesis. Finn runs, but into the turn-around lariat! Bray also gives Almas an uppercut and then chokes him on the ropes. Rusev returns but can’t get back in because of Bray. The fans still cheer for “Rusev Day!” and it keeps Rusev fighting to return. But now we have our ninth entrant: “Awwww Philly~!” It’s The New Day’s Big E!

Big E runs to the ring, spots Slater, and brings the poor man up. And offers him pancakes. Big E gets in the ring but Wyatt goes right at him. E dodges and slams Bray with a belly2belly, only to get rocked by kicks from Elias and Rusev! The fans cheer for Rusev while Elias goes after Finn. Rusev goes after Almas, and now Finn and Almas both resist against their attackers. The six men in the ring pair off, and it’s time for the tenth entrant: Tye Dillinger! But, where is he? He’s getting mugged by #Kami!

Sami & Kevin take out their frustrations on the unsuspecting Perfect Ten! Then Sami takes Tye’s spot! While everyone else fights in the ring, Sami appears. He wipes out Slater and enters the ring. Whether or not this is legal, it is happening. Sami goes after Finn, Rusev goes after Big E, and Elias goes after Almas with Bray’s help. Finn escapes elimination, as does Almas. The eleventh entrant: Sheamus!

The Celtic Gladiator may be part of the WWE Raw Tag Team Championship match later, but he wants to get singles glory while he can. He finally puts Slater in the ring, but Slater springs up to clothesline Sheamus right out! Slater eliminates Sheamus! The fans are all fired up for Slater, including Slater. But then Bray hits him with Sister Abigail, and throws him out! Wyatt eliminates Slater, and the fans boo the buzzkill. Rusev goes after Finn, Elias goes after Bray and Almas goes after Sami. Big E gets up and goes after Elias while Finn escapes elimination again. The fans still cheer for “Rusev Day” while we get the twelfth entrant: The New Day’s Xavier Woods!

Woods hurries to back up his friend and also goes after Wyatt! Sami goes after him, but Woods whips Sami into Big E, yurinagi backstabber! The New Day works together, wheelbarrow splash on Elias! Together, they work on Elias at the ropes. They get him over but Rusev goes after Big E. The eight men pair off, but then Bray bumps Sami and Woods off each other. The countdown brings out the thirteenth entrant: Apollo Crews!

Titus Worldwide’s top client runs right in and goes after Bray. Sami struggles against Rusev, Apollo catches Bray with an enziguri. Crews goes after Sami but Rusev goes after Crews. Finn and Almas fight, Finn giving El Idolo some sharp chops. The New Day work over Elias while Bray moves around and finds Finn. Bray wants but is denied Sister Abigal, to instead take Finn’s double stomps! The clock brings us the fourteenth entrant: Shinsuke Nakamura!

The King of Strong Style promised #Knees2Faces, and in his first Rumble ever, he gives Sami a dynamic dropkick and Rusev a strike fest. He ax kicks Bray, then reverses Crews into the spin kick. The ring starts filling up while Nakamura drops a knee on Elias. The fans cheer for Nakamura while he goes after Elias with knees, and then gives him Good Vibrations. Sami misses his Helluva Kick, Nakamura makes him pay with the Top Shelf knee! Sami topples out from that, Nakamura eliminates Sami! Bray goes after Nakamura but Nakamura fights him off. The New Day goes after Rusev, and we get our fifteenth entrant: Cesaro!

The Swiss Cyborg is Mr. Halfway Point as he jogs out to the ring. He rocks everyone with European Uppercuts! Cesaro goes to throw Finn out while Bray goes after The New Day. Almas bails Finn out by going after Cesaro and then tries to throw him out. Cesaro escapes and rocks him with a EuroUpper. Philly still rallies for “Rusev Day!” as he throws hands on Cesaro. Rusev thinks he’s eliminated Cesaro, but Cesaro survives to give more EuroUppers. He and Rusev brawl, Rusev actually gets the “YAY!” Now we have the sixteenth entrant: The New Day’s final member, Kofi Kingston!

Kofi runs into the ring, but into a EuroUpper! Crews trophy lifts Cesaro to bring him to the ropes. Cesaro escapes, then dumps Crews to the apron. He rocks Crews with rights but Crews shoulders and shovels Cesaro. Cesaro slips off and gives Crews one last EuroUpper, Crews hits the floor! Cesaro eliminates Crews! The New Day work on Shinsuke and Elias while keeping Rusev down. Nakamura fights back while Cesaro takes over for Rusev. The seventeeth entrant: Jinder Mahal!

The Modern Day Maharaja marches right to the ring and Woods is ready for him. At least, it seemed so, but Mahal blocks and counters with a haymaker and a snap suplex. Mahal drops a knee on Woods, then an elbow. Cesaro fights off Rusev while Finn returns to going after Elias. Woods slips out an dropkicks Mahal, but Mahal throws him out hard! Mahal eliminates Woods! Big E gets revenge by throwing Mahal to the apron, but Mahal drags Big E out with him! They brawl on the apron, Mahal thrust kicks Big E! Mahal eliminates Big E! Now we get the eighteenth entrant: Seth Rollins!

The Architect may be a Raw Tag Team Champion but he still wants a singles title for himself! He runs right down to the ring and springboard lariats Bray! Rollins rallies, Slingblade to Elias, then Slingblade to Finn! Cesaro clobbers Rollins and goes to throw him out. Rollins escapes, and monkey flips Cesaro out! Rollins eliminates Cesaro! The Architect waves to say “see you later”, but then Rusev picks Rollins up! Rusev can’t quite get Rollins out, and meanwhile Kofi tries to eliminate Mahal to avenge the New Day. While Nakmaura fights Elias off, Bray goes after Almas, and Mahal throws Kofi over! But wait! Woods keeps Kofi’s other foot off the ground to keep him alive!

Kofi thanks Woods, but how is he to get back in the ring? Big E brings out a platter of pancakes for him to stand on!

Kofi uses the pancakes to pivot around, but Mahal blocks his reentry. The New Day have an idea: they’ll give Kofi a boost! Kofi leaps right over Mahal and is back in the ring! He dodges Mahal, and hits Trouble in Paradise, sending Mahal flying! Kofi eliminates Mahal! The New Day assault Mahal with more pancakes, but them Almas hits the Hammerlock DDT! He drags Kofi up and around, the New Day are in the way, so Almas throws him out the other end, Almas eliminates Kofi! The nineteenth entrant: WOKEN Hardy!

He vows to DELETE the remaining competitors, and starts by bumping Elias’ head off the buckles. Then he comes face to face with his “eternal enemy” in Bray Wyatt.

While Finn goes after Rollins, Matt and Philly chant “DELETE! DELETE!” But Rusev disrupts the madness by going after both Hardy AND Wyatt! Oddly enough, Hardy and Wyatt fight together and double clothesline Rusev! Hardy & Wyatt eliminate Rusev! The fans are displeased, but Hardy and Wyatt keep working together! Wyatt feeds Almas to the Side Effect, then they brawl! The alliance didn’t last long, but neither does this battle, as they tumble out together! DOUBLE Elimination! Rollins goes after Eilas while we get the 20th entrant: JOHN CENA!

Philly lets him know they think “John Cena Sucks~!” but he takes it all in stride as per usual. Cena throws his merch to the fans and rushes the ring! However, everyone from Finn to Rollins eyes Cena.

They all go after Cena for a 5v1! Then things pair off again, but Elias keeps on Cena. Cena denies The Drifter’s signature, and tosses him out! Cena eliminates Elias! He gives shots to Almas then Nakamura, and now we have our 21st entrant: The Hurricane!?

The former Cruiserweight Champion has returned to the WWE for the biggest opportunity possible! He and Cena are face to face, and fans are on Hurricane’s side! Hurricane runs, dodges, and grabs Cena around the throat, but Cena denies the choke slam to lift Hurricane up and throw him out! Cena eliminates Hurricane! Philly has even more reason to hate Cena… Though he’s eliminated, Hurricane is still in a good enough mood to pose for the fans. Cena works on the remaining four opponents, then focuses on Rollins. Rollins fights him off while Finn goes after Nakamura. We have the 22nd entrant: Aiden English!

The Drama King returns to officially participate. He enters and goes right after Rollins, and the fans return to cheering for “Rusev Day!” English stomps out Finn, then rocks Cena with a right. Almas fights off Rollins while English rallies on Cena. English goes after Finn again but Nakamura comes over. The fans duel over whether or not “Cena Sucks!” while Cena goes after Finn. Now we have the 23rd entrant: ADAM COLE, BAYBAY!

Despite being battered and bruised from his Extreme Rules match at TakeOver, he is here to make a name for himself against main roster superstars! Cole goes right at English, then Finn, then English again. Rollins goes after English but gets elbowed away. English gives Finn a second-rope ax handle. Finn kicks him down and English falls out! Finn eliminates English! Rollins returns to attack Finn, Almas goes after Cole but Cole enziguris Almas down. Cena goes after Nakamura while the clock counts. The 24th entrant: Randy Orton!

The Viper has won two Rumbles already, including last year’s, and wants the hat trick. Cena knocks down Finn while Orton rallies on Cole. Powerslam! He wants the RKO but his old foe Cena denies it. Almas swing kicks Orton, but then Almas jumps into an RKO!!

The Viper drags El Idolo up and throws him out! Orton eliminates Almas! He then stomps on Rollins, hoisting him up. Cole goes after Finn while Nakamura goes after Cena. The 25th entrant: Titus O’Neil!

The leader of Titus Worldwide heads to the ring and goes after Cena. Finn fights off Orton while Cole goes after Nakamura with Rollins’ help. Orton stomps on Finn and catapult guillotines him into the ropes. Titus shifts from Cena to Cole, throwing him over but having to scrape him on the apron. Nakamura goes after Titus but TItus powers him to a corner and sharply chops him. Now we have teh 26th entrant: The Miz!

The newly minted Intercontinental Champion has The Miztourage in tow. The A-Lister runs in and gives his A-List combination on Rollins before booting down Finn. Cena lifts Miz but Miz fights out, low DDT plants Cena! Nakamura and Titus work over Cole while Miz gives “It Kicks” to Cena AND Rollins! Miz powers up the buzzsaw but misses, Cena lifts but gets the Skull Crushing Finale! Rollins SUPERKICKS Miz down, then throws him over. Miz stays on the apron and survives. The 27th entrant: Rey Mysterio?!

The King of Lucha hits the ring, goes after Miz and tilt-o-whirls him down! He fires off shots, but Cole comes after him. Rey kicks Cole while the fans lose their minds, rolling headscissors! He keeps going, to huricanrana Cole out! Mysterio eliminates Cole! Miz rushes Rey but Rey is ready and shoulders him away. Springboard seated senton! Then the dropkick to the ropes, the fans know what’s next! Rey hits the 619!!

Orton goes after Nakamura while Rey reenters the ring. Here comes the 28th entrant: Roman Reigns!

Philly is NOT happy to see The Big Dog back in the Rumble after the last time. That aside, Roman enters the ring and goes right at Cena with an uppercut. Then an uppercut for everyone! Roman then eyes The Miz, the man who took the IC title from him. He goes after Miz with clotheslines, even though the fans boo and jeer. Roman unloads the close-range clotheslines, but then evades Titus to throw him out, Roman eliminates Titus! Roman goes after The Miz, but The MIz has the Miztourage save him! So they get a SUPERMAN PUNCH! Rollins gives Miz the Curb Stomp! The Shield Brothers stare down, and decide to work together to Shield Bomb Miz, onto the Miztourage! Rollins and Reigns eliminate Miz! Then Roman throws Rollins out, Romans eliminates Rollins! Philly boos and jeers but the Shield Brothers simply laugh it off. The 29th entrant: Goldust!

The Bizarre One enters his 12th Rumble, the second all-time! He goes after Orton, atomic drop to uppercut. Goldust goes to throw Orton out but can’t, so he stomps away on The Viper. Cena and Finn go back and forth, then Goldust goes after Roman. Cena brings Goldust up but GOldust slips out, atomic drop and uppercut again. And finally, the 30th entrant: DOLPH ZIGGLER!

Just when it seemed The Show-Off was done, he’s come right back! He takes his time heading to the ring, before going right at Cena! He swings a superkick but Cena blocks. Cena lifts Ziggler, but Ziggler lands on his feet out of the AA to SUPERKICK Cena after all! Ziggler works to put Cena out but Orton comes over. Orton blocks one kick but not the second SUPERKICK! Goldust walks over, Ziggler gose at him, but gets the powerslam. Goldust throws but Ziggler reverses, only for Goldust to punch Ziggler again. SUPERKICK outta nowhere! Ziggler eliminates Goldust! Nakamura goes after Ziggler but gets elbowed away, then the Zig Zag! Ziggler tunes up the band a la HBK, which the fans don’t really like. Nakamura blocks and goes for the inverted exploder, but Ziggler lands on his feet on the apron. Ziggler hits back, but Finn forearms and eliminates Ziggler! There are no more new entrants, we are down to a final six: Finn, Roman, Nakamura, Rey, Cena and Orton! Everyone regroups, and we have a bit of a 3v3 situation of legendary veterans and rising New Era stars.

Tension mounts as two generations of WWE wrestlers stare down. Then things explode into three brawls! Orton goes after Nakamura, Cena goes after Finn and Rey goes after Roman! Finn unloads on Cena but Cena still gives him the AA! Rey gets Roman down, 619 number 2! Orton whips but Nakamura reverses, yet RKO! The modern legends stand tall, but then RKO denied again! SUPERMAN PUNCH for The Viper, then Roman throws out and eliminates Orton! Rey dropkicks Cena and Roman, double 619!! Springboard seated senton, but then Finn throws out and eliminates Rey!

The final four are now Roman, Cena, Nakamura and Finn! The fans are loving this great Rumble, especially with Finn still in it when he started second. The four each have a corner, and stare across the way at the others. The tension mounts again as they all stand up. They approach each other, clearly working out who is with who. Roman and Cena glare at Nakamura and Finn, and it’s another brawl! Roman and Cena stomp out Finn and Nakamura respectively, and they both look at each other. Each man wants to return to Wrestlemania, but Philly tells them “You Both Suck!” That keeps Cena and Roman distracted long enough for Nakamura and Finn to rise up! Now Finn and Nakamura, familiar foes from NJPW and NXT, stand together. They feel it out, Finn gets the first strikes while fans chant “Too Sweet! Woop Woop!” Nakamura turns it around, Top Shelf Knee! But Finn stays alive on the apron. He swing kicks Nakamura and reenters to knock Nakamura down. Finn whips but Nakamura reverses to knee and roundhouse Finn. Nakamura gives more knees, then throws but Finn turns it around. Sunset flip rolled through for a dropkick! The fans applaud and rally, but Roman and Cena return to run them over! Things return to “You Both Suck” but Cena says that’s all talk. They brawl, fans booing the whole way. Cena rallies with those shoulder tackles but ends up in a Samoan Drop from Roman! Roman stands up and fans boo stronger than ever. He locks, loads and takes aim at Cena. SUPER- Spin-out powerbomb! And that means “You Can’t See Me!” Slingblade from Finn! Finn then blasts Cena with the dropkick, and hits Roman with a Slingblade and another dropkick! Nakamura gets up, he gets a slingblade but gives back his own dropkick. The Rockstar fires up, runs but Finn jumps for double stomps! Cena gets up, throws Finn out, Cena eliminates Finn!

The fans boo as they see the Final Three are Cena, Roman and Nakamura. Therefore, Nakamura has all of Philly’s support. However, Cena and Roman focus on Nakamura with clubbing blows and big stomps. But then Roman turns on Cena, and the two go at it again. Cena rallies with those shoulders, and the spin-out bomb. “You Can’t See Me”, and Five Knuckle Shuffle connects. Cena lifts but Roman slips out, SUPERMAN PUNCH! Roman takes aim at Cena but has to shove Nakamura out of the way. The Big Dog lets out the battle howl, but Cena counters with an AA! Nakamura grabs Cena but Cena fights out. Cena goes to suplex Nakamura, but Nakamura resists. Nakamura suplexes Cena to the apron, then kicks at him. Cena shoulders in but misses, KINSHASA! Nakamura eliminates Cena!! That makes it just Nakamura and Roman!

And the fans are loving Nakamura’s chances! Roman can hear all the fans chanting for only Nakamura. The two stare down, and Nakamura dares Roman to “C’MON~!” Roman uppercuts but Nakamura forearms back and it is a big brawl! Nakamura gets the advantage, they speed up, SUPERMAN PUNCH from Roman! The Big Dog sees that Wrestlemania sign and drags Nakamura up. He throws Nakamura but Nakamura survives. Roman realizes he hasn’t won yet, so he wakls back over, to take a roundhouse! Nakamura climbs up and wraps Roman up in the ropes with a hanging triangle hold!

The King of Strong Style is working to choke Roman out, but Roman powers Nakamura back in, for a powerbomb! Both men are down from exhaustion, but the fans keep supporting Nakamura. The two stir, and Roman stands up first. He takes aim at Nakamura then lets out the howl. Nakamura knees the spear away, then boots Roman before a flying knee attack! Then, with the fans all fired up, KIN– SPEAR!! But Roman can’t capitalize out of further exhaustion. He sits up and gets to his feet, dragging Nakamura up with him. Nakamura resists by holding onto the ropes. Roman throws him off, they run, KINSHASA!! Roman is dazed, Nakamura throws him out and WINS!! The King of Strong Style is going to Wrestlemania!!

Renee Young holds an in-ring interview with Nakamura.

She congratulates the winner of this year’s Men’s Rumble, and asks the big question: Which title will he challenge for at Wrestlemania? Philly says it should be “AJ Styles!” and Nakamura agrees! It’ll be Nakamura VS Styles for the WWE Championship at Wrestlemania!!

 

WWE Raw Tag Team Championship: Seth Rollins & Jason Jordan VS The Bar!

The Architect may have failed to win the Rumble, but he refocuses to keep the gold he won with the Gold-Blooded Son. Can they finally #BreakTheBar here tonight?

The Swiss Cyborg starts against the Kingslayer, as a revisit for their Rumble encounter. Cesaro knees and clubs Rollins down, then puts on a hammerlock. Rollins endures then snapmares out, things speed up but Rollins counters Cesaro with arm-drag after arm-drag. He even dumps Cesaro with a back drop and throws him with a huricanrana before dropkick’ing Cesaro down. Cesaro gets to the ropes for safety, so Rollins waits. Sheamus tags in, the two circle, and the Celtic Gladiator elbows out of a waistlock. He knees Rollins and whips him to ropes, but Rollins evades to crossbody and punch Sheamus on the mat. Rollins chops Sheamus, wrenches an arm, then goes to tag Jordan but Jordan gets distracted by Cesaro. Sheamus takes advantage with a knee and then carries Rollins to The Bar’s corner. Cesaro tags back in and The Bar mudhole stomps Rollins together. Sheamus embraces the heat before tagging back in. The Bar go Super Saiyan mule kick. Cover, TWO, but Sheamus keeps on Rollins by stomping on his legs. He yanks Rollins up but Rollins lansd on his feet to PELE Sheamus! Cesaro goes to stop Rollins but misses and is sent outside. Sheamus goes to stop Rollins but Rollins shoves him away. Rollins turns around but Cesaro yanks Jordan off the apron and shoves him to a ring post!

Sheamus then goes to Brogue but Rollins evades and sends him to the outside. The Bar regroups and Rollins DIVES onto them!

Rollins checks on Jordan, but has to fight off The Bar alone. Sheamus throws Rollins into barriers and then puts him into the timekeeper barriers. They go back into the ring, Sheamus climbs up top and takes aim. He waits for Rollins to stand up, to bring him down with a flying lariat! Cover, TWO! The medics check on Jordan while Sheamus tags in Cesaro. The Bar mug Rollins in their corner, not worrying about JJ. Cover, TWO, so Cesaro wraps on a chinlock. Jordan flounders around while fans rally for Rollins. Rollins stands up and fights back, but Sheamus tags in. Sheamus helps Cesaro whip and Bar Lariat Rollins down. Knee drop added on top, Sheamus stalks Rollins to a corner. Rollins gets to the apron, so Sheamus brings him up for the Beats of the Bodhrain! Rollins fights out and hotshots Sheamus, then gets to a corner. Springboard, Sheamus catches Rollins. Rollins fights out but he bumps heads with Sheamus. While the referee checks on Sheamus, Cesaro clotheslines Rollins down!

Sheamus tags Cesaro and they drag Rollins up, backbreaker elbow drop! Cover, TWO, so Cesaro chokes Rollins on the ropes. Jordan is still on the ground while the referee backs Cesaro off. Sheamus gives Rollins a cheap shot knee! Cesaro covers, TWO! Sheamus tags in, The Bar double whips Rollins and hits a double backbreaker! Cover, TWO, and The Bar grows frustrated. Sheamus fixes his Mohawk before tagging Cesaro back in. The Bar taunts Rollins with a tag because JJ clearly isn’t back. Cesaro slaps Rollins around but Rollins fires up and fights back! He still gets clubbed down, and Sheamus tags back in. Cesaro lifts Rollins while Sheamus climbs up, but Rollins leans back to dodge the flying lariat! He evades Sheamus again to send him into the post, and then evades Cesaro to send him outside. Rollins rolls to his corner but he still doesn’t have someone to tag. The Bar regroups and Cesaro tags back in. He runs at Rollins but gets an elbow. The two brawl, Rollins getting the edge. He whips but Cesaro reverses, Rollins comes back with a Slingblade!

Rollins boots Cesaro again, then hops up for a blockbuster! The fans start to fire up with The Architect. Rollins goes corner to corner for the forearm smash, then snap suplex roll through to Falcon- No, Cesaro escapes, but Rollins rolls him, TWO! He spins Cesaro around and now gets the Falcon Arrow, TWO! Mule kick rocks Cesaro, but Sheamus breaks the pin. Sheamus stomps away on Rollins, then returns to his corner to legally tag in. He drags Rollins up for EuroUpper after EuroUpper! Sheamus puts Rollins on the top rope then climbs up to join him. Sheamus prepares but Rollins fights out. Rollins keeps clubbing Sheamus but Cesaro tags in, and The Bar goes after Rollins together. Even so, Rollins fights Cesaro off and keeps after Sheamus. Cesaro returns, Rollins manages to SUPER hip toss Cesaro down! Rollins takes aim, and since he has the Latino Heat tights to match, he goes for the Frog Splash!

He hits both members of The Bar! They’re all down and gasping, but Jordan returns! He tags in, and dizzy as he is, he enters the ring. Jordan reconsiders, and tags back out. Rollins tries to get him to stay, but Cesaro drags Rollins in. Rollins fights The Bar alone again, and manages to build momentum until Cesaro rocks him with a EuroUpper. Cesaro brings Rollins up but Rollins ducks his swing, to hit the Kingslayer Knee!

However, Cesaro staggers to Sheamus and Sheamus tags in. Rollins mule kicks but BROGUE from Sheamus! Then tag back to Cesaro, A-Swiss-ted White Noise!

The Bar wins and are four time Raw Tag Team Champions! Rollins & Jordan may not have broken The Bar, but did The Bar break them?

 

WWE Universal Championship Triple Threat: Brock Lesnar w/ Paul Heyman VS Kane VS Braun Strowman!

The Beast may have been dominate over men like The Rock and John Cena, and The Big Red Machine may be the Devil’s Favorite Demon, but neither of them have had an answer for the Monster Among Men! Who will prove themselves the TRUE Alpha Monster of WWE?

The bell rings and Lesnar goes right at Kane with shoulders in a corner. Strowman goes after them both, sandwiching them against the buckles before whipping Lesnar corner to corner for his own corner splash! The Monster gives Kane one, then dropkicks Lesnar!

Strowman clobbers Kane again, then boots Lesnar down. Lesnar gets up but Strowman denies the fireman’s carry with clubbing forearms and stiff knees. Lesnar uses his MMA striking to stagger Strowman, and then gets the fireman’s carry. Kane grabs Lesnar by the throat and Choke Slams him!

Strowman tackles Kane to a corner and unloads body shots and headbutts. Kane staggers while Lesnar rolls out of the ring. Strowman clubs away on Kane while Lesnar walks off what just happened. Kane grabs Strowman around the throat, but Lesnar SMACKS Kane with a chair!

Triple Threat rules allow for this, but Strowman punches the chair away to then lariat Lesnar down! Strowman throws Lesnar out of the ring and then Kane, the Monster claims the ring. However, this fight of titans continues on the outside as Strowman goes over to Lesnar. He throws Lesnar into the barriers, then takes up the steel steps. Strowman walks over to Kane to bash him with the steps, then does the same to Lesnar. Strowman holds the steps up victoriously, but this is far from over. The Monster assesses the situation, and decides to bring out a table! Philly loves the way he thinks! Strowman puts not one but two tables into the ring, then fetches Kane. He grins as he picks up the Big Red Machine and puts him in the ring. Strowman prepares one table sideways in a corner, then keeps Kane down with a stomp. Strowman puts the other table up in the opposite corner, but Kane gets to his feet. Kane grabs Strowman by the throat, so Strowman does the same back. It’s Strowman with the Choke Slam now!

Cover, but Lesnar breaks it just in time. He then German Suplexes Strowman once, twice, and yes even a third time! Philly is now Suplex City and Philly likes it! Strowman still stands up, but rather wobbly. Heyman is still shocked as Strowman suddenly scoops Lesnar and puts him through the table!

Cover, but Kane breaks this one. Heyman can barely watch as Kane and Strowman get to their feet. Strowman scoops Kane, but Kane slips out to shove Strowman through the other table!

Kane leaves Strowman in the wreckage, but Strowman digs himself out of it. While Lesnar is still out, Kane grabs Strowman, and CHOKE SLAMS him down! Cover, but Lesnar manages to break it. He manages to lift, Kane, and hit the F5! Cover, but Strowman deadlift German Suplexes Lesnar off it! Lesnar falls out of the ring and Kane makes his way under ropes. Strowman stands up and shakes out the cobwebs before going back outside the ring. He walks over to Lesnar to put him into barriers again! Then Strowman clears an announce table. He brings Lesnar over, but Lesnar revives to F5 him into the table!

The Beast stands up and walks over to another announce table. He deadlifts it onto Strowman, flashback to Summerslam! Kane revives behind Lesnar, and grabs him around the throat. Kane lifts Lesnar but Lesnar slips out, to F5 Kane into the table!

The Beast stands up and surveys what he has done single-handedly. But then Strowman rises from the dead to stare Lesnar down. Lesnar is shocked for the first time probably ever in his life. Even so, he leaps at Strowman, and the two brawl in front of the international announce teams. Lesnar falls back and smacks his head on the steel steps, and Strowman hurries to put him in the ring. Strowman reenters and with the fans behind him, he picks Lesnar up and gives him the Monster Slam!

But he won’t cover?! He wants Lesnar to get up for more?! Philly wants one more, too, and so Strowman hits Lesnar with a second slam! Kane returns and SMACKS Strowman with the chair! And SMACK and SMACK and SMACK until Strowman falls out of the ring. Kane has Lesnar to himself now, and he calls for a familiar finish. He drags Lesnar up and over, but Lesnar slips out of the Tombstone to shove Kane into the returning Strowman! Strowman goes down, Lesnar gives Kane one last F5 on a chair!

Lesnar covers, Lesnar wins! The Beast is still the WWE Universal Champion! All the carnage and chaos against two truly monstrous challengers, yet the Beast is still the reigning, defending and undisputed champion. Can anyone, man or monster, ever hope to dethrone him?

However, something else that is undisputed is Strowman standing in the ring again. He shouts “You didn’t beat ME!!” Will the Monster Among Men find his way back to challenging The Beast?

 

Inaugural Women’s Royal Rumble Match!

The Women’s (R)Evolution continues to grow stronger every day, and this historic first-time-ever is proof! Who will be the first ever Women’s Rumble winner? And who will she challenge for their title at Wrestlemania?!

First, the special ring announcer, Maria Menounos!

“No one has worked harder for this moment than these ladies.” Maria is honored to be part of this moment. She then introduces the special guest commentator, Stephanie McMahon!

The Raw Commissioner and principle owner joins commentary to show her support for the Women’s Division in this historic match. Next are the two Women’s Champions of the WWE. First, the Raw Women’s Champion, Alexa Bliss!

And then the SmackDown Women’s Champion, Charlotte Flair!

The Goddess and the Queen sit ringside to watch this match with their own eyes.

Now for the first two entrants!

The Legit Boss, Sasha Banks, is Number One and rocking Wonder Woman inspired gear.

And The Lass Kicker, Becky Lynch, is Number Two! Both women are friends and rivals of Charlotte’s, as they are the Four Horsewomen of NXT and WWE. Which of these two women will last the longest in this match?

The bell rings and the two friendly rivals circle. They tie up and Becky gets a headlock. Sasha stomps on her foot and goes to push Becky out, but Becky blocks. Things speed up and Becky goes to throw Sasha but Sasha turns that around. Sasha goes for the backstabber but Becky holds ropes to deny it. The two go again at high speed, Becky arm-drags Sasha a couple times then puts on an armbar. The fans applaud while Becky goes after that arm but Sasha wants after her own submission hold. Holds don’t win Rumbles but it could give an edge, and they both think the same. They separate and fans applaud again, they rush each other and double clothesline as the clock counts down. We have entrant Number Three: The Riott Squad’s Sarah Logan!

Ms. #KentuckyStrong heads right to the ring and goes after Becky with stomps. Sasha gets up and helps her friend, but Sarah dropkicks her down. Becky fights back with forearms but Sarah pushes her away to clobber her with a lariat. Sarah points to the ‘Mania sign as she goes to push Becky out. Sasha bails Becky out again and gives Sarah forearms. Sarah reverses the whip to Pop-up headbutt Sasha. The muscle of the Riott Squad roars, but Becky puts her on the apron. Sarah went through the second rope so she’s safe from elimination as she gives Becky knees between the ropes. Becky ends up in a corner and Sarah stomps a mudhole into her. Sarah and Becky struggle against each other while we get Number Four: Absolution’s Mandy Rose!

Mandy saunters her way down the ramp and goes right at Sasha. She counters Sasha’s hip toss with a hip toss then scoops Sasha. Sasha slips out to try the same but Mandy throws her down by her hair. Sarah keeps on Becky in the other corner while Mandy toys with Sasha. Mandy tries to lift Sasha out again but Sasha fights back. Becky fights back against Sarah while Sasha runs, but Mandy knocks Sasha down with a knee strike! Mandy embraces the fans before hoisting Sasha up. Becky keeps on Sarah with stomps while Sasha fights back. The clock counts down and here comes Entrant Number Five: LITA!

The Hall of Fame and historic Women’s Champion makes a stunning return! She enters the ring with the stars of today and Philly already loves it. Lita stares down Becky and Sasha as the three circle, it becomes two Horsewomen against the Lady of Extreme. They double whip Lita but Lita kicks back, punches back, and rebounds for double clotheslines on the Horsewomen! Sarah gets up but gets kicked down, and Mandy pounces from behind. Mandy embraces the heat now as she decks Lita with a forearm. Mandy puts Lita in a corner and tries to throw her out, but Lita elbows back. Lita bumps Mandy off buckles then monkey flips her into more right hands. Meanwhile, Sasha gets Sarah onto the apron, only for Sarah to rock her with a right hand. Sarah stomps on Sasha but Becky bails her out. Lita gets Mandy to the apron but the Golden Rose rocks the legend back with a knee! Mandy gloats, but gets knocked down by Lita, Lita eliminates Mandy! Sasha wastes little time by going after Lita, and now comes Entrant Number Six: Kairi Sane!

The Mae Young Classic winning Pirate Princess makes a big splash just by appearing! She rushes the ring and goes right at Sarah with double ax handle and ax kick. Becky runs in, as does Sasha, but Kairi gets them with a DOUBLE Interceptor Spear!

Kairi goes after Lita with the double chops, then marches the plank. She goes corner to corner to hit Lita with the sliding forearm! Kairi climbs up via the bottom rope, and flying forearms Sarah down. Sasha returns but gets tripped up, sliding blockbuster! The fans fire up, Kairi climbs up again, then aims at Sasha. Anchors away with the Sailing Seas elbow drop!

Kairi dropkicks Becky and climbs up again while we reveal entrant Number Seven: Tamina Snuka!

Becky takes her own Kairi Sane elbow drop while the Daughter of Superfly makes her way out. Her first target is Kairi, who hits with a forearm, but then Tamina responds with a SUPERKICK! Sasha gets up, Tamina hits her with a roundhouse. Becky gets up, Tamina evades and SUPERKICKS her, too! Sarah roars in, only to take an elbow to the head. Lita stands up and kicks Tamina, DDT! Then to Sasha, Twist of Fate! Becky comes in, gets her own Twist of Fate! Lita goes to the top rope and the fans fire up. Even Lita knows it’s been some time since she’s done this, but she somehow manages the Lita-sault onto both Horsewomen!

She also avoids Tamina’s superkick while Kairi and Sarah brawl. The fans know “You still got it,” Lita! And Lita even baits Tamina to dump her out, Lita eliminates Tamina! But then Becky throws Lita out, Becky eliminates Lita! Philly boos and jeers the spoil-sport Lass Kicker, but they still count down for entrant Number Eight: Dana Brooke!

Titus Worldwide’s statistician tries her luck at the Rumble. She heads right to the ring but Becky is ready to stomp her out. The two brawl while Sasha and Sarah brawl. Becky goes to throw Dana out but Dana fights her off. Dana drives Becky down then handspring back elbows Sasha and dropkicks Sarah. She even carries little Kairi into a corner to ram in shoulders. Dana hoists Kairi up top but Kairi boots back a couple times. However, one big shove sends Kairi down, Dana eliminates Kairi! The fans boo while Dana stomps a mudhole on Sasha and Sarah stomps a mudhole on Becky. The clock counts down and we have entrant Number Nine: Torrie Wilson!

The Attitude Era heartthrob makes her own return for this historic event. Dana goes right at her, but Torrie hits her with a facebuster. Sasha runs in but Torrie whips her to a corner and hits a corner clothesline! Becky gets a dropkick but Sarah dropkicks Torrie first. Sarah roars as she stomps Dana right in the chest. Sarah goes after Sasha and Torrie even as the fans cheer Torrie on. Sasha goes after Sarah, but Sarah kicks her away. Sarah keeps trying with Torrie, but Torrie kicks her back. Dana and Becky brawl on the other side while Torrie knocks Sarah down. Dana changes her focus to Torrie, and the Horsewomen brawl in the meantime, but as Dana rushes in, Torrie dumps her to the apron. Torrie dropkicks Dana’s legs out, Torrie eliminates Dana! Becky gives Sasha a jump kick, and Torrie catches her breath while we get entrant Number Ten: Absolution’s Gladiator, Sonya Deville!

Time to hair up and square up as she makes her way to the ring. Sarah works on Torrie while Sonya goes after the Horsewomen. Sonya rains down hands on Sasha, but Becky bails her out with EuroUppers. Becky and Sonya exchange evasion, but Sonya knees low and throws Becky over. However, Sonya doesn’t notice Becky staying on the apron, she’s already going after Sarah. Sonya gives knee after knee, then gives more knees to Torrie. Sasha stomps on Sarah while Sonya whips Torrie to a corner. Torrie tries to go up and over but Sonya blocks and throws her to the apron. A roundhouse sends Torrie down, Sonya eliminates Torrie! And right in front of the champions, no less. The fans boo and jeer, but Sonya doesn’t see the problem. Becky goes right at Sonya while we get entrant Number 11: The Riott Squad’s Liv Morgan!

Ms. #LivStrong joins #KentuckyStrong in fighting off Becky. Sasha stomps on Sonya while Liv stomps Becky. However, Sasha bails out her fellow Horsewomen again. Sasha whips but Liv reverses, so Sasha goes up, only for Liv to catch her and throw her down. Liv hits springboard double stomps in the corner, then drags Sasha up. Sarah helps out and the Squad looks to eliminate the Boss. However, Becky comes back in and helps Sasha back, and now comes entrant Number 12: Molly Holly!

Another Attitude Era icon makes a stunning return! Molly heads in and gives Sonya a kick, Liv a forearm, and Becky a snap suplex! The fans go wild as she just lifts Sarah up and out, Molly eliminates Sarah! Molly keeps going as she whips Sasha but Sasha reverses. Molly slips out to climb up, 450 seated senton! But Sonya kicks Molly down, and roars victoriously. Liv attacks Sonya while Sasha and Molly roll under the bottom rope. Sonya and Liv brawl, but Becky goes after them both. Becky rallies, then gives Sonya a Becksploder! She, Sonya and Liv all fight in a corner while we get entrant Number 13: Lana!

The Ravishing Russian normally manages Tamina or her husband Rusev, but tonight, she wants to shine in the light! “Mrs. Rusev Day” enters but gets mugged by Liv and Sonya! They mock the made-up holiday while they toy with Lana. The fans are still strongly behind the First Lady of Rusev Day, and Lana starts fighting back! She SLAPS Sonya, then tackles Liv! She goes wild while the fans count down again for entrant Number 14: Michelle McCool!

The former teacher and Four Time Women’s Champion gets ready to teach these new girls a thing or two! She sees Liv and Sonya coming, evades to then boot Lana down before spinning around and fending off the other two. Michelle boots Liv down, but Sonya kicks Michelle low. Sonya whips but Michelle reverses, then gives her a knee in the corner. Michelle goes corner to corner to give a knee to Liv, too! She tackles Sonya and puts her on the top rope to rock with a EuroUpper then shoves her down, Michelle eliminates Sonya! Then she dumps Liv up and over, Michelle eliminates Liv! However, Molly Holly pounces on Michelle. The two lady legends struggle, but Michelle comes out on top as she tosses Molly right down, Michelle eliminates Molly! The fans go wild for Michelle, but Lana stands up and knocks her down. Lana says this is HER day, but Michelle just throws Lana out and eliminates Lana! The fans have mixed reactions but Becky comes back to go after the former champion. Sasha returns to help while we get entrant Number 15: Ruby Riott!

The Squad may be gone but their leader looks ready to exact revenge. Ms. Halfway Point rushes in and goes after the Horsewomen. Michelle fights her, too, though, but Ruby holds on to the ropes. Sasha tries now but Ruby still holds on. Ruby shoulders Sasha back and throws her down while Becky fights off Michelle. Becky rushes Ruby and goes to throw her out, but Ruby still holds on. Michelle stomps on Sasha while Ruby hotshots and STO’s Becky. Michelle gets Sasha to the apron but Sasha tries to drag her over while we get Number 16: Vickie “EXCUSE~ ME~!!” Guerrero!

The former General Manager and part-time competitor makes her own shrill return. Vickie marches right to the ring, and demands the others pay attention to her. She introduces herself, and demands they listen. The four others are listening, and Vickie realizes who else is in there. She tries to play buddy-buddy with Michelle from their days together on SmackDown. But instead, all four other women go after her, grab her, and eliminate Vickie! Vickie throws a small tantrum, but now we have Number 17: Carmella!

The FABULOUS Ms. Money in the Bank wants to also be Ms. Rumble, but she gets into an argument with Vickie on the way down. Vickie grabs Carmella’s MITB briefcase and knocks her down with it! The match continues with Carmella down on the outside. Becky tries to push Ruby out while Michelle tries to powerbomb Sasha. Sasha fights out and shoves Michelle back, then drives in double knees. Becky leg drops and elbow drops Ruby, but misses the last leg drop. Sasha goes after Becky know while Ruby and Michelle fight it out. Sasha changes targets again while we get Number 18: Natalya!

The Queen of Harts and first ever third generation superstar leaves her cat ears and jacket with Carmella, but Carmella takes offense. Carmella trips Natty off the apron! The Princess of Staten Island gets in and FABULOUS Kicks Michelle, then Sasha, and then after struggling with Becky, breaks off the FABULOUS Kick Ruby. Carmella returns to Becky with shoulders in a corner, but then Becky kicks back to hit a Becksploder! Now we have Number 19: Kelly Kelly!

A star Diva of the Ruthless Aggression Era and the WWE ECW brand, Ms. Double K slips into the ring and stares right at the two women’s champions. But then Natty throws her at the ropes! Natty boasts and poses but doesn’t realize Kelly hung onto the ropes. Kelly comes back and shoulders into Natty. Michelle boots Natty down, then Kelly kicks Michelle. Kelly whips but Michelle reverses, Kelly hits a tilt-o-whirl headscissors! Natty drags Michelle and throws her out, Natty eliminates Michelle! Kelly goes after Becky while Natty goes after Sasha. Carmella stomps Sasha while Ruby attacks Natty. Natty scoops Ruby but Ruby holds one while we get Number 20: Naomi!

Time for Philly to #FeelTheGlow! Naomi hits the ring, and headscissors Natty. Then she hands out Rear Views to her mentor, Kelly Kelly, to Carmella, and to Ruby Riott. Sasha goes after Naomi and bumps her off a buckle, but then Naomi kicks back. Becky comes in, she blocks the kick to dump Naomi down. Becky climbs to missile dropkick Naomi out, but under the bottom rope, then she gives Natty a Becksploder! The Lass Kicker gives Carmella a Becksploder, then throws Ruby at the ropes. Ruby dumps Becky, Becky barely holds on! Ruby claws at Becky’s fingers, Becky lets go and Ruby eliminates Becky! Becky lasted over 31 minutes being Number Two, but now we move on to Number 21: Jacqueline!

This Hall of Famer was also a Women’s Champion AND Cruiserweight Champion, and she storms in to run Carmella over and rain hands on Sasha. Natty goes after her but Jacqueline throws her off with an arm-drag, then knocks Ruby down with a stiff lariat. She trips up Kelly Kelly and drags her up. Natty helps Jacqueline but Kelly is stubborn. Ruby joins in but Kelly still holds on while we get Number 22: Nia Jax!

The Brutal Beauty and the modern-day Irresistible Force, Nia is a major favorite for winning this, especially coming in this late. Nia runs Carmella and Sasha over, then throws and eliminates Jacqueline! Kelly jumps on Nia but Nia throws her off and eliminates Kelly! Natty runs but gets run over by Nia and rolls out of the bottom. Ruby goes at Nia but she’s not enough, Nia lifts her up and trophy lifts Ruby, to throw her onto the top buckle! Then Nia gives Ruby one last push, and she eliminates Ruby! Naomi returns and kicks Nia, then kicks and kicks and kicks, enziguri rocks Nia! Nia blocks the headscissors with pure power, then dumps Naomi to the apron. Naomi kicks Nia back, but then Nia blasts Naomi off the apron. Naomi falls onto all the other women, but they keep her off the ground!

While Naomi rests on the barriers, how is she going to get back? Nia simply awaits Number 23: Ember Moon!

Even with one bad arm, the NXT Women’s Champion wants to make her mark in this inaugural Women’s Rumble! The Prophecy of Flame heads to the ring, title held high. She evades Nia and uses her good arm and both legs to strike at Nia. The fans cheer for “NXT! NXT!” while Ember hits a springboard dynamic dropkick! Ember’s bad arm slows her down, but she still fires up. She runs in and forearms Nia, and tries with one arm to lift Nia. Nia clubs Ember down with one arm, then tosses Ember across the ring with both hands! Ember crash lands and rolls out while Naomi tightrope walks the barriers. Naomi comes to a dead end, but then confiscates Maria’s chair! She then makes her way back to the ring, reminiscent of Kofi Kingston once upon a time.

Naomi wheelbarrows to the steps and she’s in the clear! She climbs up and jumps at Nia! Nia catches her, then throws her back out, Nia eliminates Naomi! Nia still controls the ring while we await Number 24: Beth Phoenix!

The Glamazon may be the one woman who can match the Brutal Beauty in the ring. At the same time, Beth competed in the Men’s Rumble before, so she’s no stranger to this environment. Beth stares Nia down while the fans fire up. Nia pie-faces Beth, so Beth throws forearms. Nia throws them back and we have a brawl! Philly declares “This is Awesome!” Nia puts Beth in a corner but Beth evades and Nia hits buckles. Beth tries but cannot lift Nia up. Nia knocks Beth down then says this is her time. Beth tries again, and manages the fireman’s carry!

The Glamazon tries to get Nia to the ropes but Nia fights out! Nia clobbers Beth but Natty returns! Natty and Beth, allies in the past, reunite to fight Nia! They run together, and shoulder Nia, but Nia falls through the second rope. Even so, Beth and Natty hug to celebrate this reunion. And then Natty ruins it by slapping Beth before throwing her out, Natty eliminates Beth! Carmella pounces on Natty and stomps away while we get Number 25: ASUKA!

The Empress of Tomorrow is still undefeated, can she add The Rumble to her growing legacy? She rushes the ring and scares off Carmella. Sasha runs in but takes the pop-up knee, then Natty gets the backhand. Carmella returns, the fans sing “Asuka’s gonna kill you~!” as Asuka kicks away at her. Asuka whips and hip attacks Carmella. Ember returns, still an active participant. These old rivals of NXT reignite the feud and the fans are loving it! They each dodge and block, Ember headscissors Asuka. Ember runs in, but Asuka evades, only to get kicked back. Ember adjusts, and hits a one-armed ECLIPSE!

Asuka goes down, Ember goes at her, but Asuka dumps her to the apron. She hotshots the bad arm and eliminates Ember! Asuka goes after Carmella again while we get Number 26: Mickie James!

The Six Time Women’s Champion wants to use this historic moment to earn a shot at #LuckyNumber7 on the biggest stage of them all! Mickie enters the ring and kicks Carmella back. She climbs up and jumps on Asuka with a seated senton. Mickie gets Sasha with the neckbreaker, but then Natty puts her in a corner for many shoulders. Mickie elbows back and slips out to the apron to shoulder back in, and hit another neckbreaker! Carmella and Sasha return while Mickie goes to push Natty out. Asuka kicks Mickie and goes after Mickie while we get Number 27: Nikki Bella!

The Fearless half of the Bella Twins makes her own return to the delight of a few Philly fans. She gives Carmella a knee to the head, then gives out forearms to Mickie and Asuka. Sasha kicks Nikki and whips her to a corner, but Nikki elbows back and hits the jumping enziguri. Nikki spears Natty down, then stares down Charlotte. Carmella kicks Nikki back while fans again sing “John Cena Sucks~!” Carmella bumps Nikki off her boot, then stomps a mudhole into her. She moonwalks back and mocks the “You Can’t See Me” before hitting the FABULOUS Bronco Buster. Carmella ends up on Nikki’s shoulders and panics as she approaches the ropes. Nikki forces Carmella off and to the apron, then a hotshot eliminates Carmella! Asuka kicks Nikki down then stomps her out. Sasha helps out with a rain of hands, as does Natty. Mickie decides to help while we get Number 28: BRIE Bella!

The other Bella Twin arrives to bail out her sister! She decks Mickie, then goes after Sasha and Natty, and even rocks Asuka. The fans chant “YES! YES!” for Mrs. Daniel Bryan, and she joins in as she activates #BrieMode! She knees Natty, then Mickie, and then Asuka and Sasha at the same time. The twins high five and fire up the crowd, but Nia makes her return. The twins dropkick her back out to keep her a non-factor. They then double suplex Natty while we prepare for Number 29: Bayley!

The Huggable One and the last of the Four Horsewomen runs in and shoulders both Bella Twins, then hits double hotshots! Natty walks over but Bayley boots her back. Asuka stomps Sasha while Natty reverses a whip. Bayely elbows Natty away and hits a flying EuroUpper. She Saido Suplexes Mickie, then goes after Asuka with a Bayley2Belly, but Asuka denies it. Asuka, the woman who defeated Bayley for the NXT Women’s Championship a couple years ago, swings and hits the back heel kick. She drags Bayley up and throws Bayley at the ropes, but Bayley holds on. Bayley fights Asuka off while Natty goes after Mickie. Finally, we have Number 30: TRISH STRATUS!

THE iconic woman of the Attitude Era is THE final entrant in this historic match. The fans are loving just her walk to the ring, and every other woman takes notice. Trish hits Natty with a Thesz Press, then throws everyone else around with fast strikes. The Bella Twins step to Trish but she chops them both back. Trish gives each twin a sharp chop against the ropes, then hits a DOUBLE Stratusfaction!

The fans know “You still got it”, Trish, even as Bayley boots Trish back. But Trish returns for Stratusphere!

Mickie gets up, and spots her favorite wrestler ever! The two circle and fans fire up. The two brawl with haymakers, then forearms. They go back and forth while the others return, Trish reverses a whip but Mickie kicks her away. Trish wants another Stratusphere but Mickie says “Not today!” However, Trish still kicks Mickie down and eliminates Mickie! Nia returns and runs Trish over! But then everyone else goes after Nia! Nia powers them all off like an explosion, and Philly has mixed reactions. Either way, Nia knocks each woman down as they get up. Asuka gets up and back heel kicks, then Trish gives the Chick Kick! Nia is staggered, the Bellas work together to drag Nia over the top rope! The others come in, and they all eliminate Nia! Philly again has mixed reactions, but then Sasha grabs Bayley and throws her out, Sasha eliminates Bayley! Charlotte is even more shocked that Sasha would do that to a friend. Either way, the first entrant is still in this while the Bellas fight off Asuka and Trish.

The final six are the Bellas, Sasha, Asuka, Natty and Trish. Sasha goes after Trish but Trish rocks her with a right forearm. Natty storms over and throws Trish down by her hair. She then puts Trish into the Sharpshooter just because! Trish endures the signature hold while she drags herself to ropes, then she flings Natty off of her. The two get up, Trish goes after Natty and dumps her to the apron. Natty holds on, but then a Chick Kick eliminates Natty! Asuka fights off the Bellas while Sasha goes after Trish. The Boss gets in Trish’s face, Trish kicks her and mocks the swagger. Trish goes for more Stratusfaction but Sasha tosses her up and over, Sasha eliminates Trish!! The Boss boasts, but Asuka creeps up behind her. The fans sing “Asuka’s gonna kill~ you~” again. The Boss and the Empress stare down and grin, but then realize they need to get rid of the Bellas first. They step closer to Brie, but Sasha sucker punches Asuka down! Sasha stomps away, and The Bellas join in. The three focus on Asuka, the other favorite, and hit a knee-facebuster and leaping lariat combo. Sasha adds on her running knee, then boasts alongside the Bellas. The Bellas stomp a mudhole into Asuka, then Sasha fires off furious forearms. “Nobody’s ready for Asuka, huh?” Sasha slaps Asuka and then turns her sideways, Stock Drop disrupted by the Bellas! The Bellas eliminate Sasha!! And Sasha’s face says it all.

The final three are the Bella Twins and Asuka, so clearly the fans are on Asuka’s side. The Bellas mock Sasha before going after Asuka. They try to push her over the top but she fights them both off. Asuka fires up and fires off HER “Emp-Yes Kicks”! She gives one buzzsaw to Nikki, then one to Brie! Asuka throws Brie up and over but Brie holds on. Nikki runs Asuka over, then takes time to gloat. She lifts Asuka up in the fireman’s carry, Rack Attack 2.0! Brie waits on the apron, Nikki sucker punches and eliminates Brie! Nikki says it’s nothing personal, it’s just business. Nikki then rushes Asuka but Asuka shoulders her back. Asuka reenters while telling both champions she’ll be seeing them at Wrestlemania. Asuka hits a big missile dropkick! Both women are down but the fans are fired up. Nikki and Asuka go to opposite ends, but Asuka is up first. She runs in, Nikki elbows and enziguris Asuka down! Nikki stands up slowly, fans boo and jeer while she drags Asuka up. Another fireman’s carry, and Nikki dumps Asuka over but Asuka holds on. Nikki uses that strong forearm, but it doesn’t take Asuka out. She isn’t sure what to do, so she runs in, but into Asuka’s roundhouse. Asuka then hooks a leg around on Nikki and pries her over to the apron. Both women are on the edge, and Asuka is on the attack. Nikki decks her with a forearm, but then Asuka trips Nikki with a kick! Nikki falls, Asuka WINS! The Empress of Tomorrow is the first ever Women’s Rumble winner!

The Raw and SmackDown Women’s Champions join her in the ring.

The Goddess and The Queen wait for The Empress to name who she wants to face at Wrestlemania. Asuka looks between the two, and each champion raises her belt to stake their own claim.

However, before Asuka can say or do anything, RONDA ROUSEY appears!!

Not even Stephanie McMahon knows what to make of this! Ronda heads right down to the ring, and Maria gives her a proper introduction. The MMA superwoman stands across from Asuka, Alexa and Charlotte.

Then she points at the Wrestlemania sign. The fans lose their minds, but what does this all mean?! Ronda offers a handshake, Asuka refuses it. Ronda returns to pointing to the sign again, but does anyone have any answers about this?!

One woman who does shake Ronda’s hand is Stephanie McMahon. Yet, still no answers for what is probably already the biggest moment on this Road to Wrestlemania!

 

My Thoughts:

This is probably the best Royal Rumble PPV in recent history. I loved just about everything, except for maybe two or three things. First, the second fall of the Usos VS Gable-Benjamin was disappointingly abrupt given how great the first fall was an instant classic. The Usos winning makes sense but not if it was going to be a top tier match followed by a random squash. Even just a couple more minutes to that second fall would’ve been better than what we got. Second was the Universal Championship Triple Threat, and it’s really because I’m bored of Lesnar winning again, and also suddenly. Everything leading up to the finish was perfect, from how the three behemoths were just slugging and slamming each other around to the sheer annihilation of the announce desks. Lesnar bumping Kane into Strowman to then finish was just a mood killer to me, though. I do appreciate Strowman pointing out Lesnar pinned Kane and not him, and Strowman has grown so much stronger since losing to Lesnar 1v1 that I really think Strowman would’ve won if his character chose to cover after one of those multiple powerslams.

But as I said, everything else was fantastic. The three kickoff matches were all quality, and big points for each of the winners. The handicap match opening the main show was an interesting play but it made sense when seeing how it ended and how #Kami used it as motivation to screw over an innocent Tye Dillinger. Then having three-fourths of the Raw Tag Team Championship match in the Men’s Rumble was another interesting choice but it didn’t take away from their great match. Rollins & Jordan now have a major rift between them that could lead to their Wrestlemania program, or at least an Elimination Chamber PPV match. Nakamura winning the Men’s Rumble was great, and I really didn’t expect it when he was in there with Cena AND Roman. But considering Cena’s had his win and even Roman has had his time, Nakamura winning was great and so many fans get what they want: Styles VS Nakamura 1v1! And of course, the main event of the night, the Women’s Rumble, the best Rumble of anything really. It had great returns from iconic former stars and booked the current stars splendidly. I almost sense a Heel turn in Sasha with how she behaved, and that’ll freshen things up in the Women’s Division. Asuka wins because she’s Asuka, and I’m really curious as to whether she’ll choose one or BOTH women’s champions to take on. Ronda Rousey appearing was an amazing surprise, too, but as she is only just now joining the WWE Women’s Division, she surely isn’t getting a title match already. Chances are, it’ll be something for Stephanie to bring spotlight onto her at the same time.

My Score: 9/10


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Coverage

Mitchell’s NJPW G1 Climax 32 Results & Report! (8/10/22)

C Block’s top spot is up for grabs!

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NJPW G1 Climax 32

Will the Ace of the Universe stay on top?

We’re getting into the nitty-gritty of the biggest G1 Climax ever! But will Hiroshi Tanahashi still lead C Block? Or will Hirooki Goto trump the Ace?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Six Man Tag: YOSHI-HASHI, Ryohei Oiwa & Yuto Nakashima VS The United Empire; The United Empire wins.
  • Tomohiro Ishii & Toru Yano VS Bad Dude Tito & JONAH; Ishii & Yano win.
  • Six Man Tag: Suzuki-Gun VS Bullet Club; Suzuki-Gun wins.
  • 8 Man Tag: Los Ingobernables de Japon VS Bullet Club; Bullet Club wins.
  • G1 Climax, D Block: David Finlay VS El Phantasmo; ELP wins.
  • G1 Climax, B Block: Tama Tonga VS Great-O-Khan; Tama wins.
  • G1 Climax, C Block: Zack Sabre Jr. VS EVIL; ZSJ wins.
  • G1 Climax, A Block: Kazuchika Okada VS Tom Lawlor; Okada wins.
  • G1 Climax, C Block: Hiroshi Tanahashi VS Hirooki Goto; Goto wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Here are the current standings!

A Block

  • Lance Archer: 3-2, 6 points
  • JONAH: 3-2, 6 points
  • Kazuchika Okada: 3-1, 6 points
  • Jeff Cobb: 2-2, 4 points
  • Tom Lawlor: 2-2, 4 points
  • Bad Luck Fale: 2-3, 4 points
  • Toru Yano: 1-4, 2 points [ELIMINATED]

B Block

  • Jay White: 4-0, 8 points
  • Tama Tonga: 3-1, 6 points
  • SANADA: 3-2, 6 points
  • Taichi: 2-2, 4 points
  • Chase Owens: 2-4, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Great-O-Khan: 1-3, 2 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Tomohiro Ishii: 1-4, 2 points [ELIMINATED]

C Block

  • Hiroshi Tanahashi: 3-1, 6 points
  • Zack Sabre Jr: 3-1, 6 points
  • Tetsuya Naito: 3-2, 6 points
  • Hirooki Goto: 2-2, 4 points
  • EVIL: 2-2, 4 points
  • KENTA: 1-3, 2 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Aaron Henare: 1-4, 2 points [ELIMINATED]

D Block

  • David Finlay: 3-1, 6 points
  • Yujiro Takahashi: 3-2, 6 points
  • Shingo Takagi: 2-2, 4 points
  • Will Ospreay: 2-2, 4 points
  • YOSHI-HASHI: 2-2, 4 points
  • Juice Robinson: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • El Phantasmo: 1-3, 2 points

 

G1 Climax, D Block: David Finlay VS El Phantasmo!

The Rebel leads the block while the Headbanga is technically last. But ELP still has this match and another until his run is done, can he turn the block upside down? Or will Finlay shock ELP just like he did so many others in the block?

Fans rally up and ELP encourages them to get louder. The bell rings and ELP has the fans settle down. ELP and Finlay circle and the fans clap again, “RE-BE-RU!” “E L P!” Finlay shoots in but ELP keeps his distance. They tie up, Finlay gets an arm and wrenches to a wristlock. ELP rolls, wrenches and wristlocks back, but Finlay spins and wrenches to wristlock again. Finlay grinds the arm down but ELP rolls and trips Finlay. ELP turns Finlay over to a BOW ‘N’ ARROW, but Finlay pops out to a cover, ONE! Fans applaud the exchange, then ELP handsprings up. Fans applaud that, and ELP stomps, stomps, claps to get fans on that We Will Rock You rhythm.

ELP and Finlay tie up, Finlay wrenches to a hammerlock but ELP switches it onto Finlay. Finlay switches it onto ELP but ELP switches it back. Finlay switches it back again, but ELP switches it again. Finlay steps through the ropes and back in to wrap ELP’s arm around ropes. The ref counts, Finlay cranks the hold but lets off, to kick the ropes! The rope jams ELP’s arm, ELP swings on Finlay but into an arm-drag that Finlay then turns into a ghost pin, TWO! ELP scrambles away and fans fire up. Finlay and ELP reset and fans rally up. The two circle, tie up, and ELP headlocks. Finlay endures the grind, powers up and out, but ELP runs him over!

ELP flexes and fans applaud. Things speed up, Finlay hurdles but ELP shoves and follows to RANA! Finlay ends up in a corner while ELP kips up and fans applaud. Fans also rally up as ELP struts around. ELP springboards to backflip and strike his pose. Fans applaud and ELP bets Finlay can’t do that. Finlay and ELP circle, tie up, and are in a deadlock this time. ELP headlocks but Finlay powers out to get his own headlock, and the takeover. ELP headscissors, Finlay kips free but roles reverse as ELP headlocks to the takeover. Finlay headscissors, ELP kips free and sweeps the leg. Cover, ONE!

Finlay goes to sweep but ELP jumps and body scissors to a cover, ONE! Finlay sits on ELP for a cover, ONE! ELP has the cover back, ONE! Finlay has the cradle, TWO!! ELP escapes and scrambles away while fans fire up. Finlay says it was that close. Fans rally again, ELP and Finlay reset and circle. ELP wants a handshake? Finlay kicks that away and shoves ELP. ELP throws a forearm but Finlay gives it back. ELP throws another, Finlay returns it, and fans rally as they speed up! ELP knees low, CHOPS Finlay, and then runs, into a dropkick! ELP bails out, Finlay slingshots, but ELP avoids the plancha. ELP gets in the ring to HOTSHOT Finlay down!

Fans fire up as ELP builds speed and DIVES! Direct hit at the ramp! Fans rally up again as ELP stands. ELP stomps Finlay, Finlay throws body shots, but ELP KICKS Finlay’s arm! ELP brings Finlay around to smack off the apron, then he climbs up the apron. Fans rally and ELP takes aim, but Finlay anchors ELP’s foot! ELP CLUBS Finlay, throws hands, then mule kicks him away! ASAI MOONSAULT! Direct hit again and fans fire up! ELP drags Finlay up and into the ring, then climbs the ropes to SWANTON! Cover, TWO! Fans rally up as Finlay is still in this. ELP drags Finlay up, throws forearms, but Finlay kicks low.

ELP ROCKS Finlay and fires off more shots in the corner! The ref counts, ELP lets off to whip Finlay corner to corner. Finlay bounces off buckles into the atomic drop! ELP scoops and SLAMS Finlay, then he goes up the corner. Fans fire up as ELP aims, FALLING AX HANDLE! Cover, TWO! Fans rally and ELP stomps Finlay into the corner. ELP digs his boots in, then claws at Finlay’s face! The ref counts and ELP lets off. Finlay kicks from below but ELP stomps him down. ELP reels Finlay in, flexes and brings Finlay up, but Finlay RANAS free! ELP ends up on ropes, Finlay clotheslines him up and out! Then PLANCHAS! Direct hit in return!

Fans fire up with Finlay and he drags ELP up. Finlay puts ELP in the ring, sees him go to the corner, and runs in to UPPERCUT! Finlay then hits an EXPLODER! Cover, TWO! Fans rally as ELP is still in this and Finlay eggs ELP on. ELP throws a body shot but Finlay CHOPS him down! Finlay drags ELP up, ELP fights the back suplex and throws headlock punches. Finlay still back suplexes but ELP lands on his feet to roll Finlay up! TWO, and ELP dodges Finlay to springboard CROSSBODY! Then LIONSAULT! Cover, TWO! Fans fire up while both men are down! ELP snarls and he BENDS Finlay’s fingers! ELP drags Finlay up to straitjacket,

ELP torture racks, spins around, but Finlay slips off and clinches, IRISH CURSE BACKBREAKER! Then a shove and scoop, BLUE THUNDER BOMB! Cover, TWO!! ELP survives and fans fire up as Finlay says he’s gonna bring him around! Finlay drags ELP up, cravats, ACID DROP!! Cover, TWO!?! ELP survives and fans fire up again! Finlay puts ELP in a drop zone and climbs up the corner. Fans rally as Finlay reaches the top, but ELP trips Finlay up! Finlay lands on his shillelagh, ELP ROCKS him, then climbs up after him. But Finlay throws body shots and shoves ELP away! ELP backflips to land on his feet! Then steps up to ENZIGURI Finlay!

Fans fire up as Finlay dangles from the top rope. ELP climbs up after him, drags Finlay up to the very top, and SUPER STEINERS! Then ELP goes right up for the THUNDERKISS 86!! Cover, TWO!!! Finlay survives and the fans are thunderous! ELP and Finlay both sputter but ELP drags himself up the ropes. ELP drags Finlay up and reels him in. ELP tucks the arms, but Finlay slips out to cradle! But then rolls through, but ELP slips out of Trash Panda to INVERTED SUPLEX, but Finlay slips off to O’Conner Roll! TWO!! Finlay coms back to jackknife, TWO! ELP has the cover, TWO! Finlay has it but ELP turns it right around, AND WINS!!

Winner: El Phantasmo, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Finlay earns 0)

The Headbanga is still alive! And he may have just won the biggest two points in the block! Will ELP finish strong in the final round? Or will Finlay slam the door shut when he faces Yoshi-Hashi?

 

G1 Climax, B Block: Tama Tonga w/ Jado VS Great-O-Khan!

The Good “Bad” Guy is on his way up, but the Dominator is out of the running. Tama still has Jay White in the final round, will he go in red hot? Or will Khan’s Eliminator all but eliminate Tama from the Climax?

The bell rings and fans rally as the two circle. They feel out the grapple, clinch, and then Khan waistlocks. Khan trips Tama to get a back mount but Tama slips around to use a leg guard. Khan lets off and the fans applaud this opening exchange. Tama and Khan reset and circle again, then Khan shoots in. Tama avoids the leg pick to throw Khan with arm-drags! Tama keeps on an armlock and fans applaud again. Khan endures, fights up, but Tama wrenches to wristlock. Tama wrenches again and keeps on the wrist, but Khan pulls on an ear! The ref reprimands but Khan puts Tama in the corner. Khan CHOKES Tama, then TOSSES Tama across the way!

Fans applaud the showing of strength, and Khan stalks up behind Tama. Khan throws Tama out of the ring, then tells Jado to stay back. Khan drags Tama up to whip hard into railing! Tama falls down and fans rally up, but Khan stands on Tama’s head. Khan shakes the railing as he digs his boot in, but lets off as the ref reprimands. Khan goes into the ring and Tama sputters on the floor. The ring count starts and Khan stands at the center of the ring. Tama gets in at 7 of 20 but Khan is right on him for a scoop SLAM! Cover, TWO! Fans fire up as Khan stalks Tama. Tama throws body shots but Khan CLUBS him down.

Khan wrenches an arm, bumps Tama off buckles, then CLUBS him. Khan hops up to sit on Tama’s head! Fans applaud as Khan pulls Tama’s arms back. The ref counts, Khan hops off at 4, and Tama falls over. Khan eggs Tama on while giving him toying kicks. Tama crawls but Khan goes to make him kiss his boot! Tama fights it as the fans rally up, but Khan CLUBS Tama! Tama fires up but Khan CLUBS him again! And again! Tama just gets powered up! Tama fires off haymakers on Khan! Tama whips, Khan reverses but Tama bounces off the buckles, into a back elbow! But Tama says F that, and he LARIATS Khan down!

Fans fire up while both Tama and Khan stir. Tama sits up first but Khan follows. Tama runs in to rally with clotheslines and elbows! Khan swings, Tama dodges, and he DROPKICKS Khan down! OFF COMES THE VEST! Fans fire up with Tama as he paces around. Khan is in a corner, Tama runs in to STINGER SPLASH! Cover, TWO! Jado coaches Tama to keep going and fans rally back up. Tama drags Khan up, elbows him down, then clamps on to back suplex. Khan fights that off with a headlock, and an IRON CLAW! Khan then fireman’s carries but Tama fights free to the dragon sleeper!

But Khan IRON CLAWS from below! Snap suplex! Fans fire up again as both men are down. Tama crawls away to a corner, Khan storms over and brings him up. Khan fires off forearm after forearm and he sits Tama down. Khan drags Tama back up to whip corner to corner and clothesline! Khan then clamps onto Tama to dribble his head off the buckles! Khan then SLAM DUNK- NO, Tama fights that off and HEADBUTTS back! Tama dribbles Khan now! Khan blocks the Slam Dunk now! Khan elbows Tama, then Mongolian Chops! Fans fire up as Khan SLAM DUNKS Tama after all! Khan then waits on Tama to stand up, and he runs, into an uppercut!

Khan BOOTS back but Tama ENZIGURIS! Khan HELL STABS! Tama leaps but into a SAYANAGI! Fans fire up again as both men are down. Khan crawls his way over to Tama and drags him up. Khan throws a forearm, but Tama gives it back. Khan throws another forearm but Tama gives it back. Khan throws another, Jado coaches Tama and Tama hits back again. Fans rally as the forearms go faster and faster and faster! Khan gets the edge, then he DECKS Tama! Khan fires up and fans rally! Tama gets up, Khan puts some stank on the Mongolian Chops! Jado coaches Tama, he stands up, and Khan Mongolian Chops again!

Fans rally as Tama gets up again. Khan Monogolian Chops him back down! Khan eggs Tama on, Tama throws fast hands! SUPERMAN- MONGOLIAN CHOP! Khan intercepts Tama, to then MONGO- Fireman’s carry! SRC! Fans fire up and Tama roars! Tama goes to the corner and climbs up, SUPREME FLOW! Cover, TWO!! Khan survives and fans are thunderous! Tama grins and pounds the mat! Fans clap along, Tama watches Khan rise at the ropes, and Tama rushes in to GUN- NO, Khan blocks it! To IRON CLAW! And then IRON RACK! Khan spins out for the NECKBREAKER! Fans are thunderous again as Khan roars!

Khan drags Tama up, HITSUJIGOROSHI! Tama endures the Sheepkiller and throws hands! Khan CHOPS Tama, scoops him, and swings for a BACKBREAKER! HITSUJIGOROSHI LUNA! Tama endures again but the fans still rally! The ref checks, Tama’s hand drops once. And then it drops twice. But Tama gets his second wind! But Khan IRON CLAWS for the ELIMI-NO, COUNTER GUN STUN!! Fans are thunderous as Tama crawls to the cover, Tama wins!!

Winner: Tama Tonga, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Khan earns 0)

The Dominator falls again, and the Good Bad Guy still has a shot! Can Tama reload and shoot down the Switchblade before the semifinals?

 

G1 Climax, C Block: Zack Sabre Jr. VS EVIL w/ Dick Togo!

The Submission Master is second in the block while the King of Darkness could be a wild card. Both lost to The Ace, who is in action later on, who here will be poised right behind Tanahashi with a win tonight?

For whatever reason, ZSJ is wearing a mask, and a hat that says “I AM ZSJ.” Evil attacks ZSJ at the ramp, but surprise! It’s a Young Lion in disguise! The Submission Master just tricked the trickster, but the Young Lion takes the beating for him! Dick goes looking for the real ZSJ, but gets caught into an armlock! ZSJ grins, brings Dick around and gets Evil in a headlock! ZSJ drags them both to ringside! Dick hits low, Evil smacks ZSJ off the apron, and EVIL says this is what ZSJ gets for tricking them! Evil lines up his shot, but ZSJ stops from being rammed into railing! ZSJ turns it around with a headlock, and he has Abe-san move! Then he RAMS Evil into railing!

Fans applaud as ZSJ gives Evil another taste of his own medicine, then ZSJ wrenches an ear! ZSJ puts Evil in the ring, the ref rings the bell, and ZSJ drags Evil up. ZSJ wrenches and twists a wrist but Evil throat chops! Evil whips ZSJ to a corner, but he stops from hitting bare buckles! Dick already brought the Bullet Club Special into play! Evil runs in, but ZSJ dodges! Evil hits bare steel! ZSJ rolls Evil up, TWO!! Evil survives but ZSJ EuroUppers! ZSJ runs, but Dick grabs his leg! ZSJ uses that to TWIST Dick’s arm! But then Evil shoves the ref at ZSJ! ZSJ stops the ref, and has him duck when Evil swings a clothesline!

ZSJ pushes the ref away, and blocks Evil’s low blow! ARM TWIST! Fans applaud as ZSJ bests Evil’s plot again! ZSJ scoops, but Evil slips out! Evil spins ZSJ around, EVERY- NO, ZSJ slips around to trip Evil up! Body scissors, EURO CLUTCH! ZSJ WINS!!!

Winner: Zack Sabre Jr, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Evil earns 0)

That was the fastest win in this year’s G1! The Submission Master thwarted all the tricks and the House of Torture had no chance to spring other traps! Has ZSJ just secured himself a spot in the semifinals? Or will it still come down to his battle with Naito next week?

 

G1 Climax, A Block: Kazuchika Okada VS Tom Lawlor w/ Royce Isaacs!

The Top Dog crushed both the Rainmaker and The Filthy One with Death From Above, but neither run has been torpedoed just yet. Will Okada rebound before the finish line? Or will this one get filthy?

Being clever, Royce Isaacs brings an umbrella to shield them from the rain. Fans rally up already, “TOM! LAW-LOR!” and Lawlor makes sure Okada hears it. The bell rings and the two circle. They feel out the grapple, Lawlor shoots in for a leg but Okada blocks. Lawlor still trips Okada up, goes for a press, ONE. The two reset, grapple Lawlor waistlocks and drags Okada down to a leg lock. Okada fights before Lawlor can lock in anything more dangerous, grabs to Lawlor’s leg back, and the two stand. Okada facelocks, Lawlor gets around to a waistlock, but Okada throws him over. Lawlor headscissors and fans applaud the exchange.

Lawlor twists Okada’s wrist but Okada reaches out to a ROPEBREAK! Lawlor lets off and fans continue to clap, “TOM! LAW-LOR!” Lawlor and Okada circle. Okada waistlocks and ripcords, but Lawlor twists Okada’s arm to a FUJIWARA ARMBAR! Okada reaches out to another ROPEBREAK, and Lawlor lets go again. Okada bails out and Lawlor spins around, OFF COME THE SHORTS! Lawlor of course has his denim tights on, but he uses the shorts to wrangle Okada. Lawlor wrenches and SLAMS the arm against the apron, then POSTS Okada! Okada falls and the claps shift to “O-KA-DA!” Lawlor drags Okada up to CHOP him!

Lawlor brings Okada around, puts him in the ring, and the “TOM! LAW-LOR!” claps return. Lawlor stomps Okada’s hand, drags him up, and CHOPS again! Okada staggers, Lawlor CHOPS him again. Okada scowls this time but Lawlor CHOPS again. Okada still scowls so Lawlor throws a forearm! And another forearm! Okada still frowns, so Lawlor wrenches the arm again! Lawlor whips Okada to ropes, ducks Okada’s elbow and BOOTS the bad arm! Lawlor runs, but into the FLAPJACK! Fans fire up as both men are down! Okada shakes out the bad arm and fans rally. Lawlor gets to his corner but Okada storms over.

Okada fires forearms, whips Lawlor to ropes, but Lawlor reverses. Okada CLOBBERS Lawlor with an elbow! Fans fire up and Okada whips Lawlor to a corner. Okada runs in to back elbow! Then he kicks low, and DDTs! Cover, TWO! Okada gets fans to clap, clap, clap, stomp but Lawlor blocks the Alabama Lift. Lawlor CLUBS Okada, wrenches his arm and EuroUppers! “TOM! LAW-LOR!” runs corner to corner but Okada dodges! Okada puts Lawlor up top to DROPKICK him to the floor! Fans fire up while Lawlor tumbles to the railing! The “TOM! LAW-LOR!” clap returns as Lawlor crawls. Okada goes out to fetch Lawlor, and he whips Lawlor hard into railing!

Okada runs in to BOOT Lawlor over the railing! Okada moves railing back to drag Lawlor back up, and he drapes Lawlor out! Lawlor WRENCHES the arm! DOUBLE WRISTLOCK over the railing, and then through it! Lawlor BOOTS the railing to jam Okada’s arm! Fans rally and Lawlor hobbles his way back to ringside. Lawlor drags Okada up, puts him in the ring, and fans rally up more. Lawlor slingshots in to get the ARMBAR! Okada clasps hands to block that, and he moves around, only for Lawlor to make this a TRIANGLE HOLD! With a DOUBLE WRISTLOCK! Okada endures this hybrid hold but he’s turning red!

Okada moves around, sputters and gets the ROPEBREAK! Lawlor lets off in frustration while fans applaud. Isaacs coaches Lawlor up and he drags Okada from the ropes. Lawlor twists the wrist, cravats and throws knee after knee after knee into Okada’s head! Lawlor lets off, fans rally up and he runs the ropes, but he fakes out the dropkick! Okada lands on his feet, Lawlor runs in and dodges the haymaker to WHEEL KICK! Fans fire up and Lawlor tries again, but Okada DROPKICKS him down! Fans fire up even more with both men down! Lawlor is dazed as he and Okada stir. Okada stands up, and he brings Lawlor around.

Okada wrenches for the MONEY CLIP, but Lawlor powers through to waistlock! Okada throws elbows, but Lawlor ENZIGURIS! Okada staggers to a corner but he comes back with a SHOTGUN! Lawlor hits buckles then falls down! Fans rally up again and Lawlor reaches out in another daze. Okada stands, he drags Lawlor up and Alabama Lifts for the REVERSE NECKBREAKER! Okada then goes to a corner and climbs up. Fans clap, “TOM! LAW-LOR!” as Okada reaches the top, MACHO ELBOW INTO THE ARMBAR!! Okada clasps hands but Lawlor slaps them to the beat! Lawlor uses a LEG CRAVAT to add on! Okada scrambles to the ROPEBREAK!!

Fans fire up and Lawlor lets Okada go. Lawlor beats his chest to the rhythm, and he drags Okada back up. Okada ROCKS him with a forearm! But Lawlor ROCKS Okada back! Okada throws another forearm, but Lawlor gives it back! Okada, then Lawlor, faster and faster and fans fire up! Okada ROCKS Lawlor again, and again, and then UPPERCUTS! Lawlor grins and grabs the bad arm to UPPERCUT it! And UPPERCUT again! Lawlor then wrenches to an ELBOW BREAKER! And another ELBOW BREAKER! Lawlor then wrenches the arm, hammerlocks it, and he fires off forearms to the beat! “TOM! LAW-LOR! TOM! LAW-LOR!”

Lawlor roars, spins, but Okada SWATS the lariat! But that hurts Okada’s arm, too! ROLLING ELBOW!! Cover, TWO!! Okada survives and fans are fired up again! Lawlor drags Okada up, has the bad arm, ARMBREAKER DDT! And then a omoplata, into the RINGS OF SATURN!! Lawlor shows savage innovation on par with ZSJ! Okada endures and fans rally up, but Lawlor pulls way back on the arms! Okada reaches with his leg for another ROPEBREAK! Fans applaud but Lawlor lets off in frustration. Fans clap for “TOM! LAW-LOR!” again and he waits on Okada to get up. Okada slowly rises, Lawlor gets his arms!

But Okada intercepts the knee for a scoop and SLAM! Fans fire up with Okada and he drags Lawlor up to ripcord, but the bad arm can’t hold on! Okada has to crawl over to Lawlor and drag him up again. Lawlor ducks the lariat to URENAGE! Lawlor roars and fans fire up with the “TOM! LAW-LOR!” rhythm. Lawlor drags Okada up by the bad arm, then gets the other, for KAMI-GOYE to the arm! And then KAMI-GOYE to the head! Then then the straitjacket! Okada fights it off with his good arm, steps forward and reaches out, but Lawlor gets a LEG CAPTURE SUPLEX! Fans fire up and Lawlor feels the energy building!

Lawlor copies the Rainmaker Pose!! The clapping continues, “TOM! LAW-LOR!” gets the straitjacket, for the- WAIT, Okada victory rolls! TWO! Lawlor runs in but Okada ducks the Penalty Kick to roll-up! TWO, and Lawlor runs to PENALTY KICK the bad arm! Lawlor then gets that arm for a STANDING ARMBAR! Then a hammerlock, and tornado into the body scissors! Okada power sup to back drop, and he sits on the cover! OKADA WINS!!

Winner: Kazuchika Okada, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Lawlor earns 0)

Okada snatches victory from the jaws of defeat! And though he didn’t need the lariat, the Rainmaker still washes away The Filthy One! Okada is back on top of the block, but can he hold onto that top spot in the final round?

 

G1 Climax, C Block: Hiroshi Tanahashi VS Hirooki Goto!

The Ace leads the block after beating Zack Sabre Jr, who beat the original block leader, the Fierce Warrior! Now Tanahashi and Goto meet, the top spot still up for grabs! Will Tanahashi solidify his rank before the end? Or will Goto create a rock-paper-scissors situation?

As always, Tanahashi shows off the muscles and the fans applaud. The bell rings and fans rally up, “Let’s Go, Ace!” Tanahashi circles with Goto, they tie up, and are in a deadlock! Goto finds a point of leverage and powers Tanahashi to ropes. Red Shoes calls the break and Goto lets off with a pat on the shoulder. They circle and tie up again, and are in another deadlock. Goto powers Tanahashi back but Tanahashi turns things around to put Goto on the ropes. Tanahashi lets off with a pat on the shoulder, but then he throws a body shot! Tanahashi headlocks, wrenches an arm to a wristlock, but Goto rolls and wrenches back.

Tanahashi endures as Goto twists the wrist, and he drops to get a leg pick! Tanahashi ties up the legs and fans applaud the exchange. Tanahashi shifts to a headlock and grinds, but Goto pries the hold. Tanahashi powers the hold on again, but Goto powers up. Goto can’t power out as Tanahashi holds tight! Fans rally as Goto endures the grind and fights up. Goto tries again but still can’t power out! Tanahashi grinds Goto down, but Goto fights his way back up. Goto throws body shots, then powers up and out, to put Tanahashi in a headlock! Fans applaud the exchange as now Tanahashi endures the grind.

Tanahashi fights up, throws body shots, powers out, but Goto counters a hip toss with a hip toss! Goto runs and runs Tanahashi over! Fans fire up and Goto stomps Tanahashi down. Goto drags Tanahashi up to CLUB him, whip him to a corner, and run in, but into an elbow! Tanahashi goes up to CROSSBODY! Fans fire up for the air guitar! Fans rally and Tanahashi waits on Goto to stand. Tanahashi then runs, but Goto sidesteps to send Tanahashi out! Tanahashi holds on, but Goto slides out before he can skin the cat! Goto ROCKS Tanahashi with a body shot! Goto brings Tanahashi around to CLUB and put in the ring.

Fans applaud as Goto stomps Tanahashi. Goto CLUBS and kicks Tanahashi while the fans rally, “Let’s Go, Ace!” Goto whips Tanahashi corner to corner, then runs in, but Tanahashi dropkicks the legs out! Goto bails out but Tanahashi pursues to put Goto in! Tanahashi says this is ending in the ring, and Tanahashi stomps a leg. Tanahashi YANKS the leg, then drops an elbow! Tanahashi has the toehold but Goto tries to fight back with a chinlock. Tanahashi cranks the leg, then stands to stomp it. Tanahashi drops another elbow, then ties up Goto’s legs in a BUTTERFLY DEATHLOCK! Goto endures, CHOPS Tanahashi, but Tanahashi holds on!

Tanahashi puts more pressure on the knees but Goto drags himself back! Goto reaches out for the ROPEBREAK! Tanahashi lets off while fans applaud. Tanahashi paces, stomps Goto more, then brings him up. Fans rally but Goto CHOPS! And CHOPS! Tanahashi kicks the bad leg, then kicks it again. Tanahashi runs, but Goto follows! Tanahashi dodges the lariat, but Goto deflects the boot to DISCUS LARIAT! Fans fire up while both men are down! Fans rally as Goto and Tanahashi sit up. Tanahashi gets to a corner but Goto drags him up. Goto fires forearm after forearm, then whips corner to corner. Goto runs in to MURAMASA! And then BULLDOG! Cover, TWO!

Goto keeps his focus while Tanahashi is still in this. Goto drags Tanahashi up, but Tanahashi blocks the fireman’s carry with elbows. Goto powers through, but Tanahashi slips out! Goto fireman’s carries again but Tanahashi slips off, SLING-DOG! Fans fire up and Tanahashi fires up, too! Tanahashi drags Goto by his legs, ties those up, but Goto kicks Tanahashi away! Tanahashi grabs the bad leg for a GROUND DRAGON SCREW! And then an INVERTED GROUND DRAGON SCREW! Tanahashi ties the legs up for the TEXAS CLOVERLEAF! Goto endures and fans rally up! Goto crawls, reaches out, but Tanahashi drags him away from ropes!

Goto endures as Tanahashi sits deep on the hold! Goto still reaches out, for the ROPEBREAK! Tanahashi lets go, almost too tired to hold on. Fans rally up, “Let’s Go, Ace!” as Tanahashi stomps Goto. Goto goes to the apron but Tanahashi drags him up. Tanahashi grabs at the bad leg and brings it in, but Goto fires off forearms! Tanahashi lets the leg go, and Goto bumps him off buckles! Then LARIATS him down! Fans fire up and Goto drags himself over to a corner. Goto climbs up and fans rally! But Tanahashi rises to throw a body shot! Tanahashi climbs up after Goto but Goto throws body shots. Tanahashi and Goto brawl up top and fans fire up!

Goto gets the edge with forearm after forearm, then he HEADBUTTS Tanahashi! Goto adjusts, but Tanahashi throws more body shots! Tanahashi SUPERPLEXES Goto down!! Fans are thunderous as Tanahashi gets the legs, but Goto uses that to drag Tanahashi down! Goto omoplatas one arm, then grabs the other, SHORYU KEKKAI!! Tanahashi endures and moves around while fans rally, but Goto pulls back on the arm more! Goto pulls Tanahashi back into a crossface modification!! Tanahashi endures, moves around, and reaches out for a ROPEBREAK! Red Shoes counts and Goto lets go, and fans rally up as Goto rises.

Goto drags Tanahashi up, fireman’s carries, USHIGOROSHI! Tanahashi writhes and Goto roars! Goto drags Tanahashi up again, dragon sleepers, but Tanahashi spins it around to wrench. Goto ROCKS Tanahashi with a forearm! Tanahashi drops to his knees and Goto roars again! Goto drags Tanahashi up but Tanahashi ROCKS Goto with a forearm! Goto ROCKS Tanahashi back! Tanahashi ROCKS Goto, Goto ROCKS Tanahashi, and fans rally as the forearms go faster and faster! Tanahashi fires off a flurry, but Goto gives those back! Tanahashi fires off a strike fest, but Goto HEADBUTTS! SHOTEI from Tanahashi!!

And then Tanahashi falls over, into Goto’s groin! That was an incidental low blow but the damage is done all the same! Tanahashi gets and roars! He wants Goto to stand, and Goto downs, into the SLINGBLADE! Cover, TWO!! Tanahashi hurries to go up the corner! Goto stands again, for the HIGH FLY ATTACK! Fans are thunderous as Tanahashi goes back up! HIGH FLY FLOW FLOPS as Goto moves!! Fans are thunderous again as both men are down! Red Shoes helps Goto with some blood in his mouth, and then Goto gets himself to a corner. Tanahashi stands, runs in, but Goto dodges! RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP!

Goto then clamps on to make it a cradle, GOTO SANSHIKI! TWO!!! Tanahashi escapes by nanoseconds and shocks everyone! The fans are electric and rallying again. Tanahashi roar, runs in, but is sent into the ropes! Goto has Tanahashi for the DRAPING SHOUTO!! But he can’t make the cover, he’s just too tired! Fans are electric and Goto manages to crawl to the ropes. Goto drags himself up the ropes, he roars and takes aim, BUZZSAW!! Tanahashi staggers up into the fireman’s carry! But Tanahashi slips into a cradle! TWO!!! Tanahashi holds onto Goto for TWIST ‘N’ SHOUT! And then another TWIST ‘N’ SHOUT! But Goto suplexes for SHOUTEN KAI!!

Fans are electric all over again as Goto’s mouth has even more blood coming from it! But Goto still dragon sleepers Tanahashi for the G T R!!! Cover, GOTO WINS!!

Winner: Hirooki Goto, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Tanahashi earns 0)

This might have been the hardest fought match in the G1! Goto literally tastes his own blood, but it is Tanahashi who tastes bitter defeat! Is there still a chance for The Ace to take the block?

As for the Fierce Warrior, he catches his breath, checks his bloody mouth, and gets his NEVER Openweight Six Man title belt. Goto then gets the mic to say, “There’s one match left in my G1 Climax. I’m barely hanging on, but I’m alive!” Fans applaud that, and Goto vows he will win his next G1 match, “and shine the light of hope through all the darkness in the world!” Fans applaud Goto’s subtle calling out of Evil. Goto then says, “Finally, to my son at home, watching on NJPW World, Daddy’s damn tough! I will live! I will survive! I will thrive!” Fans applaud as Goto has one more battle on the 16th! Will that be the moment Goto takes the C Block?

 

Here are the NEW standings!

A Block

  • Kazuchika Okada: 4-1, 8 points
  • Lance Archer: 3-2, 6 points
  • JONAH: 3-2, 6 points
  • Jeff Cobb: 2-2, 4 points
  • Bad Luck Fale: 2-3, 4 points
  • Tom Lawlor: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Toru Yano: 1-4, 2 points [ELIMINATED]

B Block

  • Jay White: 4-0, 8 points
  • Tama Tonga: 4-1, 8 points
  • SANADA: 3-2, 6 points
  • Taichi: 2-2, 4 points
  • Chase Owens: 2-4, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Great-O-Khan: 1-4, 2 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Tomohiro Ishii: 1-4, 2 points [ELIMINATED]

C Block

  • Zack Sabre Jr: 4-1, 8 points
  • Hirooki Goto: 3-2, 6 points
  • Hiroshi Tanahashi: 3-2, 6 points
  • Tetsuya Naito: 3-2, 6 points
  • EVIL: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • KENTA: 1-3, 2 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Aaron Henare: 1-4, 2 points [ELIMINATED]

D Block

  • David Finlay: 3-2, 6 points
  • Yujiro Takahashi: 3-2, 6 points
  • Shingo Takagi: 2-2, 4 points
  • Will Ospreay: 2-2, 4 points
  • YOSHI-HASHI: 2-2, 4 points
  • El Phantasmo: 2-3, 4 points
  • Juice Robinson: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]

My Thoughts:

Another great event for G1, and it definitely puts a lot of great pressure on the last few rounds coming up. ELP gives Finlay the shocking upset, and now technically, everyone outside of Juice is a viable winner of the D Block. Tama VS Khan was great stuff, but I figured Khan would lose. He’s already out and Tama could take the block if he beats Jay White in the last round, putting the spotlight on next Tuesday, 8/16. I figured ZSJ would beat Evil, but it was amazing and hilarious how he did it. I never expected ZSJ to use a Young Lion as a decoy, and then wins in under five minutes! ZSJ is leading the block, but as I said just yesterday, it all comes down to ZSJ VS Naito, also on 8/16.

Okada VS Lawlor was great stuff, Lawlor showing off a great amount of his technical ability. But to bring drama into the last few A Block rounds, Okada had to win here. Lawlor and Yano are both facing Jeff Cobb this weekend, if even one of them can beat Cobb, Cobb is done. Okada just has Archer on 8/16, and that is “win and you’re in.” Even if Jonah beats Fale, he’ll only be 4-2 to either Okada’s 5-1, or Archer’s 4-2 with the tiebreaker from that count-out win. And then we got awesome stuff from Tanahashi VS Goto. It wasn’t a shocker that Goto won, but that is still great for Goto to win. If ZSJ beats Naito, that’s it, ZSJ is in. But if ZSJ loses to Naito, Goto has to beat Evil to get in. Naito only gets in if he beats ZSJ AND Evil beats Goto. Tuesday is going to be a huge, I can’t wait!

My Score: 8.9/10


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Mitchell’s NJPW G1 Climax 32 Results & Report! (8/9/22)

Will Naito Go To Sleep?

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NJPW G1 Climax 32

Tetsuya Naito fights to stay alive in the G1!

In what could be his last year in NJPW, Tetsuya Naito fights to stay alive in the biggest G1 Climax ever! But will Kenta make him Go To Sleep?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Tomohiro Ishii & Kosei Fujita VS BUSHI & Shingo Takagi; Bushi & Takagi win.
  • Royce Isaacs & Tom Lawlor VS TAKA Michinoku & Zack Sabre Jr; Isaacs & Lawlor win.
  • 8 Man Tag: The United Empire VS Bullet Club; The United Empire wins.
  • 8 Man Tag: Kazuchika Okada, Hiroshi Tanahashi, Hirooki Goto & Toru Yano VS Bullet Club; Okada, Tanahashi, Goto & Yano win.
  • G1 Climax, D Block: YOSHI-HASHI VS Yujiro Takahashi; Yujiro wins.
  • G1 Climax, B Block: SANADA VS Chase Owens; Sanada wins.
  • G1 Climax, B Block: Tama Tonga VS Taichi; Tama wins.
  • G1 Climax, A Block: JONAH VS Lance Archer; Archer wins.
  • G1 Climax, C Block: Tetsuya Naito VS KENTA; Naito wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Here are the current standings!

A Block

  • JONAH: 3-1, 6 points
  • Kazuchika Okada: 3-1, 6 points
  • Jeff Cobb: 2-2, 4 points
  • Lance Archer: 2-2, 4 points
  • Tom Lawlor: 2-2, 4 points
  • Bad Luck Fale: 2-3, 4 points
  • Toru Yano: 1-4, 2 points [ELIMINATED]

B Block

  • Jay White: 4-0, 8 points
  • Tama Tonga: 2-1, 4 points
  • Taichi: 2-1, 4 points
  • SANADA: 2-2, 4 points
  • Chase Owens: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Great-O-Khan: 1-3, 2 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Tomohiro Ishii: 1-4, 2 points [ELIMINATED]

C Block

  • Hiroshi Tanahashi: 3-1, 6 points
  • Zack Sabre Jr: 3-1, 6 points
  • Hirooki Goto: 2-2, 4 points
  • Tetsuya Naito: 2-2, 4 points
  • EVIL: 2-2, 4 points
  • KENTA: 1-2, 2 points
  • Aaron Henare: 1-4, 2 points [ELIMINATED]

D Block

  • David Finlay: 3-1, 6 points
  • Shingo Takagi: 2-2, 4 points
  • Will Ospreay: 2-2, 4 points
  • YOSHI-HASHI: 2-1, 4 points
  • Yujiro Takahashi: 2-2, 4 points
  • Juice Robinson: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • El Phantasmo: 1-3, 2 points [ELIMINATED]

 

G1 Climax, D Block: YOSHI-HASHI VS Yujiro Takahashi w/ Pieter!

The Headhunter is still alive in the G1, but so is the Tokyo Pimp! Someone’s bubble could burst right here, will Hashi be able to #TurnItAllAround? Or will he be washed away by Pimp Juice?

While Hashi makes his entrance, Yujiro attacks him on the corner! Yujiro throws Hashi down, stomps him, and pulls Hashi’s jacket and NEVER Openweight Six Man title belt off him while the ref reprimands. The ref snatches the belt from Yujiro and Yujiro says he wasn’t gonna use it. Yujiro stomps Hashi, the bell rings and Yujiro rains down fists. The ref reprimands about the closed fists so Yujiro lets off. Yujiro drags Hashi up while fans rally for “HEAD-HUNT-ER! HEAD-HUNT-ER!” Yujiro CLUBS Hashi, drags him up, then ROCKS him with a forearm. And another! Yujiro whips Hashi to ropes, but Hashi elbows back!

Hashi runs Yujiro over, then kicks him low to hit the NECKBREAKER! Fans fire up with Hashi while Pieter panics for Yujiro. Hashi goes out after Yujiro but Yujiro kicks low. Yujiro whips but Hashi reverses and Yujiro hits railing! Yujiro falls over, but then hurries to grab things from under the ring. Yujiro has a chair, and as Hashi walks around the way, Yujiro JAMS Hashi! And CLOBBERS him! The ref reprimands, this is the same ref who called Juice VS ELP and disqualified ELP! Yujiro defends his innocence, but fans rally for Hashi. But then Yujiro goes and unties the red corner buckle pad! The remix of the Bullet Club Special!

The ref starts a ring count and Hashi sits up at 4 of 20. Hashi stands at 7, gets in at 9, but Yujiro drags him up. Yujiro whips Hashi into the bare buckles! Hashi writhes and flounders but fans rally up. Yujiro drags Hashi up to RAM Hashi into the buckles! The ref reprimands while Hashi writhes, but there’s nothing that can be done about the pad. Fans still rally but Yujiro drags Hashi back up. Yujiro scoops Hashi to SLAM him down, covers, TWO! Hashi survives and Yujiro is almost confused as to how. Yujiro fires forearms on Hashi over and over, all the way to the mat! Yujiro then drags Hashi up to snapmare and basement BOOT! Cover, TWO!

Fans rally but Yujiro argues the count. The ref says his count is fair, and fans rally up. Yujiro drags Hashi up but Hashi throws body shots! And a CHOP! That’s a stinger! Yujiro knees low, knees low again, then runs to BOOT Hashi against ropes! Yujiro drags Hashi up and reels him in, FISHER- NO, Hashi fights that off to suplex high and hard! Fans fire up and Hashi shakes out his bad arm. Hashi and Yujiro rise, and Hashi fires off strikes and a CHOP! Yujiro staggers away, Hashi runs in at the corner to clothesline! Hashi whips to CHOP, then mule kick! Hashi runs, HEADHUNTER! Fans fire up again while Yujiro flounders away.

Hashi drags Yujiro up, suplexes him to hang him out to dry, and then runs side to side for the dropkick! Yujiro flips down, Hashi keeps moving, basement dropkick! Cover, TWO! Fans fire up and Hashi shakes out the bad arm. Hashi drags Yujiro up, reels him in, but Yujiro fights the lift and BITES the hand! The erf reprimands, but Yujiro CLUBS Hashi and whips him to ropes Hashi reverses but Yujiro holds ropes. Hashi runs in but Yujiro BOOTS! But Hashi comes back, into a FLAPJACK HOTSHOT! Yujiro drags Hashi up, FISHERMAN BUSTER! Cover, TWO! Hashi survives and fans fire up again!

Yujiro crawls over while Pieter looks worried. Yujiro drags Hashi up, reels him in, but Hashi blocks the Intercollegiate Slam! Hashi CLUBS Yujiro but Yujiro ROCKS Hashi! Yujiro whips, Hashi reverses and wrangles Yujiro, into the BUTTERFLY LOCK! Yujiro endures, the fans fire up, and Hashi cranks way back. But SHO is here! Of course the Murder Machine backs up his House of Torture housemate! The ref tells Sho to go but Hashi lets Yujiro go to tell Sho himself! Yujiro crawls up behind Hashi to LW- NO, Hashi blocks it! Hashi drags Yujiro up but Yujiro rakes eyes! Yujiro whips, Hashi ducks and trips Sho up to then RAM him into railing!

Fans fire up as Hashi gets on the apron, and he shoulders into Yujiro to HOTSHOT him down! Hashi climbs and fans fire up again. Yujiro stands for the BLOCKBUSTER! Cover, TWO!! Yujiro survives but the fans still rally behind Hashi. Hashi drags Yujiro up, full nelsons, but Yujiro grabs the ref! Yujiro elbows Hashi away, then shoves the ref at him! Hashi shoves the ref back, Yujiro shoves him aside, SUPERKICK! SNAP DRAGON! And Hashi fires up to run, but Yujiro grabs at the ref! Hashi still DECKS Yujiro, then drags him up. Yujiro RAKES eyes! Yujiro whips Hashi then “falls” against the ref, so Sho can SMACK Hashi with a chair!!

Yujiro sits Hashi up, PIMP JUICE!! Cover, TWO!?! Hashi survives and Yujiro can’t believe it! Fans are thunderous as Yujiro pleads with the ref. Yujiro pounds the mat in frustration, then he drags Hashi up. Yujiro reels Hashi in for BIG- NO, Hashi fights off the juice to get a SLEEPER! Then a BACKSTABBER! Yujiro writhes now and fans rally back up. Hashi goes to a corner and aims at Yujiro. Yujiro sits up, BLINDSIDE KNEE! Hashi drags Yujiro up, full nelson to pump handle, but Sho distracts again! So Hashi RAMS Yujiro into Sho, schoolboy with bridge! TWO!! Yujiro escapes , blocks a lariat, but not the SOUTHPAW!

Fans fire up again as Hashi drags Yujiro back up! Full nelson, pump handle, but Yujiro fireman’s carries! But Hashi slips off to SUPERKICK! And then the spin, pump handle, but Yujiro fights free! Yujiro shoves Hashi into the buckles!! Hashi checks his face while Yujiro gets his pimp cane! But the ref sees that and tells Yujiro no! They argue over the cane, Sho has his wrench! But Hashi blocks it! So Sho LOW BLOWS, then WRENCH SHOT! Yujiro lets the cane go, hobbles over and drags Hashi up, to a BIG JUICE!! Cover, Yujiro wins!

Winner: Yujiro Takahashi, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Hashi earns 0)

The Tokyo Pimp uses the stacked deck in his favor again, and he’s right behind David Finlay! Will Yujiro take over the block? Or will The Rebel refuse to fall?

 

G1 Climax, B Block: SANADA VS Chase Owens!

The Cold Skull is right on the edge, he needs this win to stay alive. Will Sanada keep the promise of a tranquilo semifinals alive? Or will the Crown Jewel get to play spoiler?

The bell rings and fans rally up. Chase wants to Too Sweet but Sanada says no, they LIJ fist bump. No, Too Sweet, open the fist. No, fist bump, put the Too Sweet away. Chase wants a handshake but Sanada still wants a fist bump. The two circle and fans rally up, “SA-NA-DA!” They feel out the grapple, Sanada avoids the leg pick, but Chase gets a waistlock. Sanada pries free to switch and waistlock, but Chase pries free to wrench and wristlock. Sanada pushes through to get the waistlock but Chase drops to arm-drag to an armlock. Sanada reaches over to clasp hands and get a chinlock but Chase clamps it’s a choke.

Chase powers through to get the arm again, but Sanada fights up to push Chase and arm-drag. But Chase holds on to arm-drag again! Fans rally as Sanada endures but Chase grabs fingers to bend them! Sanada endures the top wristlock so Chase covers, TWO! Fans applaud the technical exchange as the two reset. Sanada and Chase tie up, Sanada clinches to a waistlock then headlock and takeover. Sanada then floats to get the legs, BOW ‘N’ ARROW but Chase pops right out to a cover, ONE!! Fans applaud this new exchange, and Chase wants a handshake to say good job. Fist bump? No, handshake.

Fans rally up and Chase says he’s a good guy. Sanada accepts the handshake, but he blocks Chase’s cheap shot kick! Sanada knew better, and he trips Chase up! Sanada ties Chase up but Chase kicks him away. Chase trips Sanada and tries to steal Paradise! Chase can’t quite get it and Sanada kicks Chase away! Chase rebounds to run Sanada over! Things speed up, Chase sunset flips but Sanada rolls through to get the legs! Sanada tells Chase this is what he gets, but Chase apologizes! No good, Sanada puts Chase in the Paradise Lock! Fans fire up and Sanada encourages them to get louder. The fans get louder, and Sanada runs in to dropkick Chase out of Paradise!

Chase bails out and fans fire up more. Sanada slingshots but Chase slides in. Sanada lands on the apron and shoulders in, but into a KICK! Chase then turns Sanada for a HOTSHOT NECKBREAKER! Sanada flops to the floor and fans rally up. Chase goes out after Sanada to drag him up. Chase wants Bushi to watch this on commentary. Headlock PUNCH! Chase then snatches Bushi’s magazine away, and throws it away. Chase puts Sanada in the ring, drops a knee, then another knee! Chase then rains down fists on Sanada but the ref reprimands. Chaes lets off, fans rally for Sanada, but Chase stands on Sanada’s bad eyebrow! Cover, TWO!

Chase clamps on a chinlock and he squeezes tight. Sanada endures and fans rally up, but Chase cranks the hold. Sanada fights up, throws body shots, but Chase scoops and SLAMS him! Chase goes to the corner, hops up and blesses his fist, but he blocks the boot! Chase wags his finger, but then misses the elbow drop! Sanada gets space, runs back in and dropkicks the leg out! Chase clutches his knee and fans fire up. Sanada fires up and runs in again, but Chase gets around! Sanada switches but Chase elbows him away. Chase runs, but Sanada hurdles, and hurdles, and dropkicks! Chase bails out and Sanada takes aim to PLANCHA!

Fans fire up as Chase goes down! Fans rally and Sanada puts Chase in the ring. Sanada covers, TWO! Chase gets up but Sanada is on him for a fireman’s carry. Chase slips off, Sanada fights the half nelson but Chase fires off a strike fest! Chase runs, but Sanada elbows him! Sanada goes to run but Chase reels him in, to schoolboy him into ropes! The ropes send Sanada down and Chase steps over, STF! Sanada endures and fans fire up, but Chase shifts to a full CROSSFACE! Sanada endures so Chase shifts right to a RINGS OF SATURN! Sanada moves around, reaches out, ROPEBREAK! The fans applaud but Chase lets off in frustration.

Chase watches Sanada go to a corner. Chase runs in but Sanada BOOTS him! Sanada hops up but Chase GAMANGIRIS! Then SUPER FLYING MARE, into a SHINING WIZARD! Cover, TWO!! Sanada survives and fans fire up! Chase drags Sanada up, tucks him in, but Sanada fights the driver! Sanada fireman’s carries, throws him into the dragon sleeper, but Chase arm-drags free! Chase runs in at the corner, but into an elbow! Sanada QUEBRADA, but Chase catches him! Chase gives Sanada SNAKE EYES, then clamps on a SLEEPER! Sanada endures and fans rally but Chase sits Sanada down!

Chase leans on the hold, Sanada is turning red, but the fans rally up. Sanada reaches out and fans rally as he fights. Sanada powers back up, reaches out, and uses the corner to push back to a cover! TWO!! C-TRIG- NO, Sanada dodges and O’Conner- NO, Chase blocks to steal SKULL END!! Sanada fades, and Chase lets him go to further copy Sanada’s style! Chase goes up the corner, ROUNDING- NO, Sanada moves! Chase crashes and fans rally up again! Sanda goes up, ROUNDING BODY PRESS onto knees! Cradle cover, TWO!! Sanada escapes at the last second, and fans fire up as he fires off forearms! Chase roars, but Sanada ROLLING ELBOWS!

Sanada runs, into a C-TRIGGER! Sanda roars, C-TRIGGER again!! Chase drags Sanada up, tucks him in, but Sanada RANAS free! And then pop-up TKO!! Chase is down, Sanada goes up again, ROUNDING BODY PRESS hits!! Cover, TWO!! Into SKULL END!!! Chase flails, fans rally up, and Chase is fading out! Chase gets a second wind, pops free of the sleeper, but Sanada fights to get the SKULL END again!! Chase flails, reaches out, but he PASSES OUT!! Sanada wins!!

Winner: Sanada, by submission (gains 2 points; Chase earns 0)

The Crown Jewel didn’t tap out, but he still met his Skull End in this one! Sanada is moving on up, but will he be able to take the block from Jay White?

 

G1 Climax, B Block: Tama Tonga w/ Jado VS Taichi w/ Miho Abe!

The Good Bad Guy and the Holy Emperor are tied for second in the block, but Jay White is pulling away with his 4-0 streak. Who wins here to then take aim at the Switchblade?

Taichi shows off the dancing pecs and fans applaud. The bell rings and fans rally up as the two stare down. Tama and Taichi slowly circle, tie up, and Tama powers Taichi to ropes. The ref calls the break and Tama lets off with a pat on the shoulder. Tama and Taichi egg each other on, and they circle again. They tie up, Tama powers Taichi back again, but the ref calls for the ropebreak. Tama lets off slowly but Taichi dares him to take a shot. Tama just pats Taichi on the shoulder again. Fans applaud the sportsmanship and Taichi asks what’s wrong. Did Tama and Jado go soft after leaving Bullet Club? Taichi then grabs his bag of tricks, and tosses Tama his bag of tricks.

Tama opens it up, and sees the Iron Claw!! It’s like Tama’s seen a ghost! Taichi says go ahead, hold it! No, that’s bad juju! Fans fire up for the claw and Taichi holds it out to Tama! Tama says no, put that away. Taichi tosses it at Tama and Tama swats it away! Taichi picks it up and stomps Tama! The ref reprimands as Taichi digs his boot in. Taichi lets off at 4 but still wants Tama to wear the iron claw! Tama swats him away and the ref has Taichi back off. Taichi lets the claw go to stomp Tama down! Taichi talks trash on Jado but the ref counts as Taichi stands on Tama’s neck. Taichi kicks Tama out of the ring, then whips him into the railing!

Fans rally up but Taichi uses camera cable to CHOKE Tama! The ref reprimands, counts, and Taichi lets go at 4. Taichi dares Jado to do something but Jado stays back. Taichi gives Jado a free shot but Jado refuses. Taichi goes back to Jado and CLUBS him down! Taichi drags Tama up and into the ring and fans rally up. Taichi stomps Tama, kicks him around, then taunts him. Taichi says if Tama’s the Good Bad Guy, then hit him below the belt! Taichi drags Tama up to CHOKE him! The ref reprimands and Taichi shoves Tama down. Taichi keeps egging Tama on, then drags him up to snapmare and KICK!

Taichi covers, but he’s also choking! ONE, but Taichi tries again. The ref sees the choke this time and reprimands. Taichi says that’s not a choke, THIS is a choke! The ref reprimands and counts, and Taichi lets off. Taichi argues with the ref, drags Tama up, but Tama throws forearms! Taichi eggs him on and then wrenches to HOOK KICK! Cover, TWO! Fans fire up and Tama snarls. Taichi paces, dares Tama to go get the claw. Tama refuses so Taichi KICKS him! Taichi says use the claw, but Tama says no! So Taichi KICKS him again! Tama roars and eggs Taichi on so Taichi KICKS! Fans rally as the KICKS keep coming!

Tama eggs Taichi, then fires off haymakers! Taichi CHOKES him to a corner! The ref counts, Taichi lets off and whips corner to corner. Tama comes back, but into a BOOT! Tama comes back again to LARIAT Taichi! Both men are down and fans fire up! Tama rises and he waits on Taichi to stand. Tama runs in to LARIAT again! And elbow! And scoop SLAM! Fans fire up more and Tama drags Taichi up. Tama reels Taichi in for a BIG back suplex! Cover, TWO! Tama keeps his cool and paces around. Fans rally up, Tama drags Taichi up into the dragon sleeper, but Taichi CHOKES from underneath!

The ref reprimands, but Taichi CHOKES with the other hand! Tama breaks free with a EuroUpper, then throws more EuroUppers to put Taichi in a corner. Tama whips Taichi corner to corner then runs in, but Taichi dodges the splash to GAMANGIRI! Fans fire up as both men are down, and Jado and Miho coach their guys up. Taichi sits up first, then stands, and he waits on Tama. Tama sits up, but he ducks the buzzsaw! Taichi dodges the Superman Punch, BOOTS Tama, but Tama comes back, into another GAMANGIRI! Fans fire up again and Taichi rises back up. Taichi roars, and OFF COME THE PANTS!

Taichi aims from a corner and powers up, but then the fans rallying makes him think. Will Taichi use the claw?! Taichi goes to it, grabs it from his bag, and he puts it on! Taichi laughs maniacally but Jado points it out to the ref! The ref tries to stop Taichi but Taichi shoves him away! Taichi tries to resist its call, but the iron claw is so powerful! Tama fireman’s carries Taichi! SRC!! The ref takes the claw away, Tama hurries to the corner and climbs up! SUPREME FLOW!! Cover, TWO!! Taichi survives but the fans fire up! OFF COMES THE VEST! Tama and Jado get the fans to clap along with the mat drums.

But wait, is it…? Now Tama is hearing the call of the claws! Tama goes over to take it from Taichi’s corner! Jado tells Tama to let those guy! The ref tells Tama, too! But the fans rallying seems to make the call stronger! Tama looks at Jado and Jado tells him no! But Taichi says DO IT! DO IT NOW! Tama is conflicted, too! Tama presses the claws into his own head, but then throws it to the ref! GUN- NO, Taichi throws Tama down to GEDO CLUTCH! TWO!!! GUN ST- NO!! Taichi drags Tama up, DANGEROUS SAIDO!! Cover, TWO!?!? Tama survives and shocks everyone! Miho shouts to Taichi and Jado coaches Tama as the fans are thunderous!

Taichi roars, rises up, and he drags Tama up for Alabama Lift. Tama fights that to underhook, but Taichi slips out. AX- NO, Tama catches Taichi to a dragon sleeper. But Taichi slips out before the twist, and then fights the German Suplex! Taichi PELES Tama, but Tama ENZIGURIS back! Taichi wobbles, Tama stalks him, and runs in, into a ROUNDHOUSE! But Tama stays up!? Tama and Taichi run in, Tama dodges Ax Bomber to TONGAN TWIST!! Both men are down and fans are thunderous again! Tama and Taichi go to opposite corners and drag themselves up to their feet. Taichi and Tama run in, DOUBLE LARIATS!

Neither man falls, they try again! DOUBLE LARIATS! Tama and Taichi lean on each other but they’re still up. Tama throws a forearm first but Taichi throws a kick! Tama throws a forearm, Taichi throws a kick! Tama fires off fast hands but Taichi SOBATS! Taichi runs, into a DROPKICK! But he’s right up to AX BOMBER!! Fans fire up and Taichi drags Tama into the Alabama Lift, BLACK M- NO, Tama slips free to SUPERMAN PUNCH! Then he blocks the superkick to GUN- NO, Taichi shoves Tama away! YOKO- NO, no elbow! Tama and Taichi clinch and fight, Taichi hits the SUMO THROW!

Fans fire up and Taichi hits the three point stance! Taichi runs in, GUN STUN!!! Cover, Tama wins!!

Winner: Tama Tonga, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Taichi earns 0)

And the Good Bad Guy is just behind the Switchblade! Tama then grabs the Iron Claw. He tells Taichi this is over! He then hands the claw back to Taichi, and Taichi is shocked. Will Tama shoot down his last two opponents to take the block?

 

G1 Climax, A Block: JONAH w/ Bad Dude Tito VS Lance Archer!

The Top Dog is on top of the block after taking down the Rainmaker! But the battle of monsters only gets bigger, will Jonah be able to Torpedo the Murderhawk Monster’s run? Or will Archer show that no matter how big you are, #EverybodyDies?

Archer waits for Jonah at the apron, but Jonah steps right up to him. Archer moves back and Jonah gets in the ring. The bell rings and fans rally up, “JO-NAH!” “ARCH-ER!” Archer and Jonah get face to face, but Archer is taller. Archer says if Jonah wants to do something different than “all this flippin’ and floppin’ crazy sh*t,” then let’s go. Archer dares Jonah to swing on him. Jonah winds up to fire a forearm, and Archer gives it back! Jonah forearms again, Archer gives it back and eggs Jonah on. Fans rally as the forearms go back and forth, faster and faster! Jonah CHOPS and Archer smirks. Archer CHOPS and Jonah growls.

Jonah CHOPS, Archer CHOPS, repeat! The CHOPS gain speed and fans rally up! The CHOPS become SLAPS and they go faster and faster, and both men slowly drop to their knees! They still SLAP each other and lean on each other! Fans fire up and the monsters catch their breath. Then they start throwing forearms from their knees! They stand back up, Archer ROCKS Jonah! Archer runs but Jonah breaks the clothesline! But Archer breaks through Jonah’s clothesline! Jonah HEADBUTTS Archer low, then hits a DDT! Fans fire up as both men are down! Fans rally up, Jonah stands and he looms over Archer.

Jonah ELBOWS Archer, but Archer shoves him. Jonah CLUBS Archer, Archer eggs him on so Jonah ROCKS him! And HEADBUTTS him! Archer falls back down and fans fire up again. Jonah runs to ROLLING SENTON! Fans rally as Archer flounders to a corner. Jonah stalks up behind Archer and throws a heavy body shot! Jonah stands Archer up to throw haymakers! Archer chuckles but Jonah RAMS into him again and again! Jonah digs his shoulder in, Archer clubs Jonah but Jonah doesn’t feel it. Jonah lets off as the ref counts, then comes back to claw at Archer’s face! The ref counts, Jonah lets off at 4, and fans rally up.

Jonah drags Archer up, CHOPS him, but Archer CHOPS! Jonah ROCKS Archer in return! Archer sputters and Jonah catches his own breath. Fans rally up and Jonah stomps Archer in the gut! Jonah bumps Archer off buckles but Archer pushes him back. Jonah throws back elbows and Archer sits down. Jonah runs to clothesline Archer, then whips him corner to corner. Jonah SPLASHES, runs, but Archer follows to CLOBBER Jonah from behind! Fans fire up as both monsters slowly rise. Archer runs in at Jonah to back elbow! Then he runs again, to back elbow again! Archer goes again, a THIRD back elbow! Fans fire up as Jonah falls over!

Archer drags Jonah into the drop zone and fans fire up, TWISTING VADER! Cover, TWO! Archer snarls and fans rally up. Archer drags Jonah up and reels him in, but he can’t scoop! Jonah scoops Archer to SLAM him! And SENTON but Archer moves! To SENTON, but he misses, too! Fans fire up as both monsters are down again! Archer grits his teeth but he grins as he brings Jonah up. Archer throws forearms but Jonah gives them back. Fans rally as the forearms keep going, and Archer gets the edge! But Jonah bobs ‘n’ weaves to LARIAT! Archer stays up to BOOT back, then he ripcords for the HELLICOASTER!! Cover, TWO!!

Fans fire up more as Jonah survives that supersized ride! Archer grins and prepares the claw! Jonah rises, Archer reaches for his face! Jonah fights against the claw but Archer powers through! Jonah CLUBS the arm away, fires off haymakers, then HEADBUTTS! Jonah runs, but Archer goes the other way, DERAILER! But Jonah stays on track!! And comes back with the BODY CHECK!! Fans are thunderous after that human demolition derby! Jonah gets up in the corner, sees Archer is down, and he decides to climb! But Archer hits ropes to trip Jonah up! Fans rally as Archer climbs up behind Jonah and rains down fists!

Archer says, “Let’s do a big ass effin’ German!” Jonah doesn’t want to and he fires off back elbows! Archer staggers away and Jonah turns around. Archer ROCKS Jonah with a forearm! Archer then uses the elevation to inverted crucifix lift! But Jonah slips off! Jonah blocks the boot, ducks the haymaker, and LARIATS!! Fans fire up and Jonah drags Archer back up. Jonah reels Archer in, clamps on and lifts, BLACK FOREST BOMB!!! Fans are thunderous but Jonah goes up! But Archer rises!? STEP-UP KNEE!! Jonah flops down to the apron and fans rally again! Archer joins Jonah on the apron, but Jonah SUPERKICKS!

Jonah aims as Archer tumbles away, FLYING SHOULDER TACKLE! Both monsters are down on the outside and fans rally again. Jonah roars and drags Archer up. Jonah whips Archer but Archer reverses! Jonah hits railing hard, and it causes the timekeeper’s table to move back! And Abe-san thought only Evil was going to give him trouble! Bad Dude Tito coaches Jonah to get up, but Archer runs in! CANNONBALL!! Tito gets in to take some of the hit!! Archer may have just crushed both TMDK members! Fans fire up as Archer drags himself up and the ring count begins. Archer drags Jonah up at 4 of 20 to smack Jonah off the apron!

The count is 8 of 20 as Archer clamps on the choke grip! Jonah breaks free and HEADBUTTS, then SPEARS Archer down! We’re at 12 of 20, Jonah gets on the apron! Archer stands up there with him to ROCK him! Jonah LARIATS Archer back into the ring at 15! But Archer BLASTS Jonah at 18!! Jonah staggers, and the count hits 20!! Archer wins!!

Winner: Lance Archer, by count-out (gains 2 points; Jonah earns 0)

Jonah has lost to count-out again! First to Toru Yano the trickster, and now to the Murderhawk Monster! But a win is a win, and now Archer leads the block! Will Jonah be able to salvage this in the final round? Or will Archer go to the semifinals and makes sure #EverybodyDies?

 

G1 Climax, C Block: Tetsuya Naito VS KENTA!

The Uncontrollable Charisma has scratched and clawed to stay alive, but those two strikes mean he could be struck out any moment! Will tonight be the night Naito’s run ends? Or will he refuse to #GoToSleep?

Fans clap for “NA-I-TO! NA-I-TO!” as he takes his time with his entrance attire. That annoys Kenta and he tells the fans to shut up. Kenta then tells Naito to hurry up, but that only makes Naito take longer. Kenta gets antsy and Naito seems to struggle with the shirt sleeves. Naito finally finishes by putting the pants away, and now the bell rings. Fans rally and the two stare down. Naito makes Kenta aware the claps are for “NA-I-TO!” and they circle. They approach, but Kenta pulls a Naito by backing off. Kenta uses the ropes as a defense, so Naito backs off. Kenta says Naito better follow the rules. Naito lets Kenta come back and they circle again.

Fans rally up but again Kenta goes to the ropes. Red Shoes has Naito back off, and fans rally up again. Kenta comes back, he and Naito circle and then Naito backs away to ropes. Naito trolls Kenta and Kenta says that’s stupid. Kenta and Naito circle again, fans rally back up, and then they tie up! Kenta pulls Naito’s hair, knees him against ropes, then whips. Naito reverses to arm-drag, kick low and toss Kenta out! Naito builds speed, but he fakes Kenta out to tranquilo! Kenta slides in and blocks Naito’s kick to claw Naito’s eyes! Kenta throws Naito out then he builds speed, to roll and mock Naito with a cutesy pose of his own.

Kenta dares Naito to come back, but Naito takes his time returning. Naito gets on the apron, but he avoids Kenta’s boot to drag him out and whip him hard into railing! Fans fire up and Naito brings Kenta around to whip into more railing! Red Shoes reprimands and Naito gets in, just to refresh the count. Kenta makes his way to the timekeeper’s area, and he grabs the bell hammer! Kenta CLOBBERS Naito with it!! Kenta drags Naito up to whip hard into railing! Naito tumbles up and over into No Man’s Land! Kenta grabs a mic to scold Abe-san then he goes to fetch Naito. Kenta drags Naito up and POSTS him!

Naito writhes and Kenta stomps him. The ring count climbs, Kenta drags him up and puts him in at 6 of 20. Cover, TWO! Kenta argues about the count but Red Shoes says it is a fair count. Kenta KICKS Naito in the back, then stands on Naito with a cocky cover. Red Shoes refuses to count it so Kenta drags Naito up. Naito throws a haymaker! Kenta staggers to a corner, Naito runs in but Kenta puts him on the apron. Naito blocks the haymaker to ROCK Kenta back, then Naito shoulders in, into a KICK! Kenta goes up the corner for the GUILLOTINE KNEE DROP! Cover, TWO! Fans rally up but Kenta keeps his focus.

Kenta unties a buckle pad and we have another Bullet Club Special remix. Kenta whips Naito into the bare buckles hard! Naito writhes and Kenta gets fans to clap along. Then he has them stop, and he stomps Naito down. Kenta drags Naito up and turns him for a NECKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Kenta clamps on a headscissor hold! Naito endures the squeeze and fans rally up again. Naito moves around, reaches out, and gets the ROPEBREAK! Red Shoes counts and Kenta lets off at 4. Kenta drags Naito up to KICK him in the chest! And then KICKS him again! Kenta drags Naito up and whips him to ropes, to CLOBBER him! Cover, TWO!

Kenta clamps on with a chinlock and Naito endures as the fans rally up. Naito fights up to his feet, throws body shots, but Kenta throws Naito down by his hair! Fans rally again but Kenta paces around Naito. Kenta gives toying kicks then drags Naito up. Naito fires a forearm, then another, and then another! Kenta knees low, whips Naito to ropes, but Naito reverses and slips around, to NECKBREAKER in return! Fans fire up while Kenta slowly sits up. Naito also sits up, and the two slowly stand. Naito throws haymakers and kicks and whips Kenta to ropes. Naito elbows Kenta down then basement dropkicks him!

Naito gets Kenta back up, whips him at the corner, then runs in to JUMP KICK! Leg sweep, COMBINACION CABRON! Fans fire up as Naito poses! Fans rally as “NA-I-TO!” drags Kenta up to the BACKBREAKER! Then the LEG FULL NELSON! Kenta endures and eggs Naito on so Naito puts on more pressure! Kenta fights and reaches, fans rally, and Kenta crawls forward to the ROPEBREAK! Red Shoes counts, Naito holds on, claiming he needs help. Red Shoes pries at the hold, Naito lets it off and fans applaud. Naito drags Kenta up, catches his haymaker, but Kenta standing switches. Naito elbows Kenta away and runs, but into a POWERSLAM!

Fans fire up while both men are down again. Kenta crawls to the red corner, drags himself up the ropes, and fans rally up. Naito runs in but Kenta BOOTS him! Kenta goes up, reels Naito in, TORNADO HOTSHOT! Kenta then climbs up while Naito staggers away, FLYING LARIAT! Direct hit and fans fire up! Cover, TWO! Kenta keeps on Naito by going after a leg. STF! Kenta pulls back but Naito endures and fans rally. Naito reaches out while Kenta mocks the claps for “NA-I-TO!” Naito moves around, but he is fading! Naito uses a second wind to get over to the ROPEBREAK! Red Shoes counts and Kenta pulls back before letting off.

Kenta drags Naito up into a waistlock, but Naito fights the lift! Naito elbows free, but swings into a spin a DDT! Kenta covers, TWO!! Naito survives being spiked and fans are fired up again. Kenta drags Naito up, chicken wings him, but Naito fights off the lift! Naito elbows free but Kenta CLUBS him! Kenta eggs Naito on, but Naito blocks the kick and shoves Kenta away. Naito BOOTS Kenta, then TORNADO DDTs! Both men are down and fans fire up again! Naito crawls over to Kenta, drags him up with a cravat, but Kenta fights back with body shots. Naito fires off back elbow after back elbow! Fans applaud as Kenta drops to his knees.

Naito drags Kenta up, throws more of those heavy back elbows, and Kenta drops again. Naito stands on Kenta’s head to keep him down and the fans are thunderous. Naito drags Kenta up to throw even more back elbows! Naito drags Kenta back up to bump him off buckles. Fans continue to rally as Naito throws even more back elbows! Naito then hammerlock and half nelsons, for GLORIA! Cover, TWO! Kenta survives but Naito drags him right back up, to wrench, but Kenta shoves free! Kenta runs, into a SPINEBUSTER! And then wrench and tilt-o- NO, Kenta slips through and hangs Naito out to dry, for SUPER BRAINKILLER!!

Fans are thunderous and Kenta crawls after Naito. Naito sits up so Kenta goes to a corner. Kenta takes aim as Naito is in the opposite corner. Kenta runs in to FLYING BOOT! Naito sits down, Kenta gets moving, HESITATION DROPKICK! Fans fire up and Kenta goes to the corner. Kenta climbs and takes aim again, COUP DE GRACE! Cover, TWO!! Naito survives and fans are thunderous again! Kenta stands back up, drags Naito up to a fireman’s carry, but Naito fights off to back elbow again! Then atomic drop and shove, Kenta ends up in the corner. Naito runs in, he blocks Kenta’s boots, and he puts Kenta in the ropes for a DRAPING NECKBREAKER!

Fans fire up as Naito stands back up. Naito drags Kenta over to a corner and hops up, ESPERANZA! Fans are thunderous again as Naito takes aim, but Kenta BOOTS him! Naito comes back, into a BUSAIKU KNEE!! Kenta drags Naito up to the fireman’s carry, GO TO- DESTINO!! Naito turns things around and we’re past 20 minutes! Fans are electric as Naito and Kenta stir! Naito and Kenta sit up slowly, then Naito lunges to forearm Kenta down. Fans rally up, “NA-I-TO!” but Kenta lunges and forearms back. Naito throws another forearm, but Kenta throws it back. Naito throws a forearm, both men grin and Kenta throws another.

Naito forearms, Kenta forearms, and fans rally as they keep going back and forth, harder and harder! Naito, Kenta, repeat, faster and faster! Naito eggs Kenta on but Kenta keeps giving shots! Naito ROCKS Kenta, fires off a flurry, but Kenta CROSS COUNTERS! And SLAPS, SLAPS, and SLAPS away! Kenta fires up but Naito ENZIGURIS! Naito whips, Kenta reverses but Naito FLYING FOREARMS! Naito gets Kenta up, tilt-o-whirl, but CRADLE! TWO!!! Naito survives, but Kenta hurries to bump Naito off the bare buckles! Roll-up, TWO!!! BUSAIKU KNEE!! Cover, TWO!!! Naito survives again and no one can believe it!

Kenta roars and he drags a bloodied Naito up! Fireman’s carry, GO TO- NO, Naito blocks to scoop, VALENTIA!! Naito roars and fans fire up with him! Naito drags Kenta up, wrenches and tilt-o-whirls, DESTINO!!! Cover, Naito wins!!!

Winner: Tetsuya Naito, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Kenta earns 0)

With five minutes to spare, Naito strikes Kenta down and out! The Fang Revived is eliminated from the running, having lost to Naito, Evil and Zack Sabre Jr. Will Kenta have to settle for being a spoiler from now on?

As for Naito, he catches his breath, puts on his baseball cap, and says, “Buenas noches, Hiroshima~! Is everyone enjoying the heat of NJPW’s first summer G1 in 3 years?” Fans applaud, because they are! Naito says he’s delighted to be here in his home of Hiroshima, “and to show you what it looks like when I win in the main event. I want to thank you fans for supporting LIJ and myself from the bottom of my heart. Gracias, amigos!” Naito notes he was two down but has won three straight, and this win has him tied in the “pennant hunt.” But he knows it won’t be easy, “it’s a real bottom-of-the-ninth scenario. But I’m swinging for the fences.”

Naito hopes everyone looks forward to how this G1 Climax plays out. “Let’s end this as usual. Unfortunately, due to COVID, you’re unable to cheer out loud with me today, but please, yell out in your hearts. Everyone, are you ready? Let’s close out night one of two G1 shows here in Hiroshima the only right way. Bushi! Sanada! Hiromu! Takagi! Y Naito! Nosotros, LOS INGOBERRRRRNABLEEEES~! DE! JA! PON!” Another great roll call, and Naito rolls on in the G1! But just as he said, he has to win it in the end! Will he have a walk-off or a strikeout to close out the tournament?

 

Here are the NEW standings!

A Block

  • Lance Archer: 3-2, 6 points
  • JONAH: 3-2, 6 points
  • Kazuchika Okada: 3-1, 6 points
  • Jeff Cobb: 2-2, 4 points
  • Tom Lawlor: 2-2, 4 points
  • Bad Luck Fale: 2-3, 4 points
  • Toru Yano: 1-4, 2 points [ELIMINATED]

B Block

  • Jay White: 4-0, 8 points
  • Tama Tonga: 3-1, 6 points
  • SANADA: 3-2, 6 points
  • Taichi: 2-2, 4 points
  • Chase Owens: 2-4, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Great-O-Khan: 1-3, 2 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Tomohiro Ishii: 1-4, 2 points [ELIMINATED]

C Block

  • Hiroshi Tanahashi: 3-1, 6 points
  • Zack Sabre Jr: 3-1, 6 points
  • Tetsuya Naito: 3-2, 6 points
  • Hirooki Goto: 2-2, 4 points
  • EVIL: 2-2, 4 points
  • KENTA: 1-3, 2 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Aaron Henare: 1-4, 2 points [ELIMINATED]

D Block

  • David Finlay: 3-1, 6 points
  • Yujiro Takahashi: 3-2, 6 points
  • Shingo Takagi: 2-2, 4 points
  • Will Ospreay: 2-2, 4 points
  • YOSHI-HASHI: 2-2, 4 points
  • Juice Robinson: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • El Phantasmo: 1-3, 2 points [ELIMINATED]

My Thoughts:

Another great event for the G1, with matches that all mattered this time around. Hashi VS Yujiro was the most fired up fans got for a Yujiro match because they were fired up for Hashi. I suppose it’s okay that Yujiro won here, he is the one guy who beat Finlay so far, so if Finlay falls even once in the last two rounds, Tokyo Pimp could take the D Block. Sanada VS Chase was a very good match, and it was the right move for Sanada to win, but they also did it in a great way to benefit Chase. Chase passes out to the Skull End rather than tapping out, a la Stone Cold to the Sharpshooter, and that is a great honor for him. I bet there are big things for Chase on the other side of this G1.

Tama VS Taichi was also great, with a very clever story of Taichi trying to push Tama into being a Heel again. Both men have yet to face Jay White, those matches will have a big impact on who takes B Block, but they both have to take on Great-O-Khan at some point. Tama VS White is on 8/16, I would think both men go into that with momentum, but that means Tama has to beat Khan during tomorrow’s event. Jonah VS Archer was huge, just like Jonah VS Okada, mostly for how it shapes the A Block. Jonah may have lost, but he’s only lost by count-out in the G1, and that is a huge implication. It means no one can put him down in the ring. If Archer can’t beat Okada on 8/16 and Jonah beats Fale, Jonah can still take this block and make a huge impact on the semifinals.

And of course, Naito VS Kenta was great stuff, especially with every match now having Naito on the bubble. Naito wins, Kenta is out, and now Naito has the entire week to rest up and prepare for Zack Sabre Jr. ZSJ beat Naito last year to open the G1, and Naito got hurt, so that you can basically say ZSJ cost Naito all those opportunities last year. Naito will want revenge, ZSJ could still be leading the block after beating Evil tomorrow, and then it all comes down to it on 8/16. The winner of Naito VS ZSJ will be your C Block semifinalist, unless Tanahashi wins against Goto AND Kenta before then. But given the drama, I feel like Tanahashi loses to one of those guys, putting all eyes on Naito VS ZSJ.

My Score: 8.9/10


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