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#FAKENEWS: WWE To Add A Fifth Pod To The Elimination Chamber???

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WWE Elimination Chamber Fifth Pod

Monday on WWE Raw the company held a multi-man match to determine the final participant in the Elimination Chamber.

And–SHOCKER–we didn’t have one winner. We basically had two. And one of them wasn’t even supposed to be in the match!

What happens next???

Well, our sources (with seriously close knowledge of the situation, like so close they needed to sign a consent form) tell us that WWE is about to do something revolutionary and history making.

And that makes sense, you know how much they love to tell you when they are making history…right, Women’s Royal Rumble?

What our sources have told us with great certainty is that this is all a set-up for WWE to add a fifth chamber to the Elimination Chamber structure, and that pod will debut on February 25 in Las Vegas at the T-Mobile Arena.

Now, the current chamber has four distinct corners, but WWE plans to alleviate that issue by placing the pod ON TOP OF THE CHAMBER.

But there’s more! They still plan to resolve the Seth Rollins/Finn Balor issue by having Rollins qualify, meaning the fifth pod will hold a MYSTERY PARTICIPANT.

And it won’t be on a timer like other pods, because we know WWE PPV events aren’t allowed to run long. It’ll be opened when the announcers say a SECRET WORD OR PHRASE.

SERIOUSLY!

It’ll go down something like this:

“Jonathan Coachman: One thing I’ve noticed since returning, these crowds can’t let go of CM Punk.

Michael Cole: Wait, did you just say…CM PUNK???

Corey Graves: THAT’S THE SECRET WORD, COACH!”

POOF! Pod opens, Jinder Mahal falls out. Smell the money!

(No word on how this impacts the Women’s Elimination Chamber match, btw.)

The Chairshot reminds you, when reading wrestling news, to Always Use Your Head!

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Fake News

#FAKENEWS: Top 5 Rumors About Cody Rhodes Losing The ROH World Championship

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ROH Cody Rhodes

Cody Rhodes lost the ROH World Championship, which means one thing. Peacocks are running wild, brother!

Okay, it actually means a lot of things! But it also means that the internet will be buzzing with potential “reasons” and “backstage news” on why this took place. Basically, speculation and imagination will run rampant in the name of clicks and ad revenue!

But why wait and let them have all the fun! While we encourage you to “Always Use Your Head,” we also know you’re smart enough to know a good time when you see one.

That’s why we here at The Chairshot are proud to preset our Top 5 Fake Rumors About Cody Rhodes Losing The ROH World Championship!

5. Cody Rhodes was upset over that new ROH World Championship

Earlier this week, ROH debuted a brand new design for its world championship, thanks to the fine folks at Wildcat Belts. While it was mostly met with praise, one thing was easily forgotten…

CODY’S RING!

How can you not replace the belt with the ring if it doesn’t match the belt??? I mean, it’s like M&Ms eating M&Ms in the commercials—it’s not natural!

So the fake rumor here is that Cody wanted to drop the title because he was pissed that he bought a ring and those scoundrels in Baltimore went and got a new belt, totally undermining his bad ass ring.

4. Cody Rhodes has a degenerative condition that not only puts his career at risk, it also causes hair to lose pigment

It was quite a surprise when Cody Rhodes showed up at Final Battle with stark white hair. That can only be explained with two words: degenerative condition.

Obviously Cody Rhodes has a condition that will cut his career short (like he can only wrestle for 6 more weeks and that’s it), and it’s so rare that it also caused his hair to lose all of its color overnight.

Damn, that sucks for Cody.

3. ROH saw that Triple H pinned Jinder Mahal in India and wanted to (quite literally) show New York that they can have the wrong guy lose, too!

If you thought Matt Hardy was the only one waging The Great War, you were sadly mistaken. Ring Of Honor has lined up their allied forces (New Japan, CMLL, and a bunch of kids wearing Bullet Club shirts) and are headed right for Stamford!

The first shot was fired tonight, when ROH set out to prove that they can make the entire internet confused over a decision better than WWE can when they had Cody Rhodes lose at the height of his Bullet Club fandom, easily surpassing having part-timer Triple H pin Jinder Mahal clean in Mother-India.

2. Cody Rhodes signed with WWE

He’ll clearly be Number 30 in the Royal Rumble in Philly. It’s basically Money In The Bank at this point.

Wait, did we just confuse our Big 4/5 pay-per-view events? Methinks we did!

Honorable Mentions (Because five just wasn’t enough)

  • Cody Rhodes is a lifelong Dalton Castle fan, and if you had the secret decoder ring you’d have seen that “Lose the ROH World Championship to Dalton Castle at Final Battle at the Hammerstein Ballroom in New York City” was absolutely on the “Cody List.”
  • Viral meningitis
  • He was becoming a bigger star than Goldust, and we simply cannot have that, now can we?
  • The other idea was a time limit draw, and we all saw how well THAT went over in 2009.

1. Dammit because Brandi Rhodes said so

Listen, it should be obvious by now who really wears the pants in the Rhodes household.

That’s right, it’s Cody. Because Brandi Rhodes prefers skirts, and she looks damn fine in ‘em! She also makes the decisions, and she felt like Ring Of Honor was holding them down. I mean, she’s a bona fide star now! She’s on WAGS Atlanta on the E! Network, which is totally better than being on Arrow on the CW.

Seriously, Stephen Amell is nothing when compared to Niche Caldwell!


Obviously we are having some fun here, but that is why we watch wrestling. I’m sure there’s an amazing plan in place, and it will all be great.

Regardless, please remember one thing when the “news reports” start coming out about Cody’s loss: Always Use Your Head!

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