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Mitchell’s Ring of Honor Report! (2/17/18)

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ROH WRESTLING TELEVISION, Episode 335

All images courtesy of Fite.TV app and streaming service

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Flip Gordon VS Jay Lethal; Lethal wins.
  • WOH Championship Tournament Opening Round match: Brandi Rhodes VS Karen Q; Brandi wins and advances to the second round.
  • ROH World Six Man Tag Team Championships: The Bullet Club’s “Hung Bucks” VS SoCal Uncensored; The Hung Bucks win and retain the ROH World Six Man Tag Team Championships.

PLAY BY PLAY

SoCal Uncensored speaks.

“First we introduced ourselves in New York City” when they ambushed and beat down The Bullet Club’s Hangman and Young Bucks. Then they made it clear what they were after in Philadelphia with another ambush, going after the legs of Matt & Nick Jackson. And even when Hangman rallied other allies in the American Nightmare and Villain, SCU still came out the winners. Now, Scorpio Sky & The Addiction get their shot at the ROH Six Man Tag Team titles, but “what do you think is gonna happen?!” The Bullet Club’s end is near, and you can hear a new chant approaching. “S C U! S C U!”

But the Bullet Club responds.

Nick is so excited for tonight, but why? Because they get to go after SoCal Uncensored. Matt heard that, and that it’s for their fresh new belts.

After SCU attacked them from behind twice, tonight is about revenge. Hangman shouts, “You jumped my brothers from behind! Tonight, I break ALL your legs!” He’ll break all six legs, all six arms, and all three backs and necks! Good intensity, man. The Bucks like it, but remember, kids: BTE is Drug Free, and that’s the way to be. Can the Superkick Party keep the trios titles Addiction free?

 

Flip Gordon VS Jay Lethal!

The leader of #FlipArmy has always impressed, win or lose. But now he’s up against one of the best in the Franchise Player! Lethal wants back towards the ROH World Championship, can he jump over Flip on his way there?

The fans love “Both these guys!” Especially when both men uphold the Code of Honor. The bell rings, and the two circle. They tie up, Lethal gets the headlock. Flip powers out but Lethal runs him over with a shoulder. Lethal goes and things speed up. Flip flips over Lethal but Lethal sweeps the legs. Flip avoids that cover completely, but Lethal sweeps the legs again. Lethal covers this time, but Flip slips out and wraps an arm for La Mahistrol. Lethal counters into his own cover, TWO and Flip finishes the Mahistrol, TWO. They stand up, Lethal Injection– No! Flip blocked the impact with a handstand!

He shakes his fingers to say, “No no no” while the fans applaud that amazing save. They tie up again, Flip gets the headlock and control while we go to break.

ROH returns to Flip giving Lethal forearms and chops. Lethal falls back into a corner, and Flip brings him back out. Flip goes to whip but Lethal holds ropes, so Flip forearms him back down. Flip backs off while the referee checks on Lethal. Lethal is good to go, so Flip whips him corner to corner. Flip runs in and hits a flipping dropkick. The fans applaud the agility as Flip goes again and hits again. Flip wants one more, and so do the fans. He goes corner to corner agani but Lethal dodges! Flip hits buckles but tumbles back onto his feet. Lethal gets the waistlock but Flip elbows out. Flip runs but into a hip toss, Lethal cartwheels but Flip rolls away. Lethal keeps moving for a spinning forearm!

Flip goes down but the fans applaud. Lethal covers, ONE, but Lethal keeps his focus. He brings Flip back up and gives him a sharp chop. Lethal keeps on Flip in the corner with forearms and stomps, then another sharp chop. Flip goes to another corner, Lethal whips him hard corner to corner. Cover, TWO, but Lethal keeps on Flip with knee drops to the back. Another cover, TWO, and now Lethal grows a bit frustrated. He lifts Flip and hits a backbreaker, TWO! Lethal insists that count should be faster, before grinding a knee into Flip’s back for a grounded clutch. The fans rally for Flip as he endures. Flip gets up and to his feet but Lethal clubs him back down. Flip swings a kick, Lethal ducks but Flip hits the second! Lethal tumbles out of the ring, and Flip sees his chance. Flip builds speed and DIVES!

Just like Lethal, Flip gets back in to build speed again. Lethal comes in and boots Flip, not letting the young star steal his signature trick. Flip rolls out of the ring, and Lethal decides to show him how it’s done! He builds speed and hits the first DIVE!

The fans want the second, and Lethal rolls back in to build speed. Flip enters the ring after him, and SUPERKICKS him! Lethal rolls back out, Flip builds speed again, but has to abort halfway when Lethal slips back into the ring. Lethal builds speed but even he has to abort when Flip slips in. He hurries back onto the apron but Flip catches him with the elevated 619!

Lethal falls to the ground but stand back up. Flip mule kicks Lethal from the apron, then climbs a corner for a SUPER Corkscrew Asai!

Fans fire up as Flip takes Lethal down and we go to break.

ROH returns again and both men have reentered the ring. Lethal shows he’s serious now by taking off his elbow pads and wrist bands. Flip matches him by taking off his own elbow pads. Lethal throws the first forearm but Flip responds. They glare at each other before Lethal throws another, and Flip throws his response. Lethal chops, Flip chops back! Another chop from Lethal, another chop from Flip. Lethal gets a single leg takedown but Flip kicks him away with the other. Flip stands up but Lethal brings him back down. Lethal goes for the Figure Four but Flip counters with the small package, TWO! Lethal mule kicks and calls for his move. He handsprings, Flip follows, Flip hits the Spring-Blade!

The fans fire up as Flip lifts Lethal into the fireman’s carry. Lethal slips out and shoves Flip to ropes, but Flip uses ropes to hop up and over Lethal as he slides. Fireman’s carry again, Flip hits the Samoan Pop! Then he rolls Lethal to his feet to rock him with a Pele! Cover, TWO! Flip was close but Lethal wasn’t dual ROH World Heavyweight and World TV Champion for nothing. The fans rally while Lethal rolls to a corner, declaring “This is Awesome!” Flip drags Lethal up and then hoists him to the top rope. He chops Lethal before jumping up, but Lethal shoves him away. Flip runs back in but into a boot, but Flip still gets to the rope to hop up and hit Kinder Surprise!

Lethal sits back while Flip climbs up. Flip grabs at Lethal but Lethal slips under, and carries Flip in powerbomb position. Flip goes to counter with a huricanrana but Lethal blocks that with strength! Lethal transitions into the Figure Four!

Flip flails and reaches, and gets the ropebreak. Lethal lets go and the two make it to their feet. Lethal kicks the leg and Flip hobbles away. Flip dodges the second kick and responds with a forearm! Flip cycles between chops and forearms, then gives a kick and back elbow to another forearm. Lethal responds with his own stiff back elbow, but then Flip responds with a jumping knee strike! Flip runs, but his leg gives out on the springboard! Lethal takes advantage to full-nelson and dragon suplex!

Handspring, Lethal Injection!

Lethal wins! Another valiant effort from Flip but the Franchise won’t be stopped on his way back to the world title.

Colt Cabana interviews Jay Lethal on the ramp.

Cabana has some “interesting news” that he must share with him. On March 9th, in Las Vegas, Nevada, aka the home of the ROH Anniversary Show, “just officially announced”, Jay Lethal VS Dalton Castle for the ROH World Championship! Lethal was saying it already, “I will be the two-time Ring of Honor–” Marty Scurll appears?

The Villain would like to know “who’s giving out title matches? Who’s making decisions around here?!” Scurll reminds us that in his time here, he’s had zero chances at the ROH WHC. Lethal tells Scurll, “There’s a reason that I’m the #1 contender!” Lethal has a long list of people he’s defeated, “and in case you don’t remember”, Scurll is on that list as of Final Battle 2017. Scurll says that if Lethal’s so confident, “when you beat Dalton Castle”, Scurll wants to be first to challenge him. What does Lethal say? Lethal being “a man of the people”, he’ll give the people what they want. When Lethal beats Castle, he’ll have “no problem” beating Scurll again. That’s just perfect for Scurll. The Villain leaves, willing to wait for his opportunity. Can Lethal hit the jackpot and defeat the Peacock in honor of ROH’s 16th Anniversary?

 

The WOH Tournament continues!

ROH’s Women’s Division is making history by crowning its first ever Women of Honor Champion! The Exotic Goddess defeated the Queen Bee to be the first one in.

Tonight, Mrs. American Nightmare takes on a former Victory Pro-Wrestling Women’s Champion to see who will be the second woman into the second round. Brandi knows she is the “number one underdog in this entire tournament”, given that she’s only been a pro-wrestler for about two years. However, she trains hard day in and day out, making gains every match. As for Karen, she feels she is the one and only woman fans need to focus on. Brandi respects Karen, she is so skilled and intelligent. Karen lists the number of great victories she’s gotten, from the Gatekeeper, Kelly Klein, to the Virtuosa, Deonna Purrazzo, so the veteran, Sumie Sakai.

Brandi points out that Karen isn’t the reason why Brandi finally got her first win. The reason why Brandi won is because she was able to overcome Karen’s distractions. Karen was trying to make Brandi lose so this match wouldn’t even happen. Karen vows she won’t be stopped, but Brandi says she has everything to gain from this tournament. After all, who doesn’t love a good Cinderella story?

WOH Championship Tournament Opening Round match: Brandi Rhodes VS Karen Q!

As her theme song says, Karen Q wants to be nothing but “Victorious!” in this tournament. Will she add a new Women’s Championship to her record? Or will Brandi move on to represent the Bullet Club as WOH Champion?

One thing’s for sure, Karen shows no mercy. She attacks Brandi while she’s standing on the ropes! Karen forearms away while the referee hurries to ring the bell. She bumps Brandi off buckles then throws in more forearms. Karen whips Brandi corner to corner but Brandi goes up and over to arm-drag Karen. Brandi has Karen in an armlock but Karen gets to her feet. Karen whips Brandi but Brandi hurdles over her. Brandi kicks Karen then knee strike. She whips Karen and drops her with a dropkick. The fans applaud while Karen gets to a corner. Brandi storms over but Karen yanks her into buckles. The fans chant for Brandi while Karen stomps a mudhole into her. Karen shouts that she wants everyone to focus on her while she goes after Brandi. She puts Brandi in a corner, then chops before grinding in a boot. Karen backs off but then comes back to grind her boot back into Brandi’s face.

She backs off at 4, then embraces the heat as she goes to the opposite corner. Karen uses her diving and gymnastics skills to handspring and tumble corner to corner for the forearm smash. She keeps going and hits a back heel kick, then runs again for the boot! Brandi drops down but Karen fires up and throws Brandi with an exploder suplex! Karen has control while we go to break.

ROH returns to Karen still in control. Brandi is down, Karen runs to the ropes, somersault senton into standing moonsault!

TWO, and Karen grows frustrated. She drags Brandi over while fans rally. Karen climbs up to the top rope, takes aim and leaps, but her Frog Splash flops when Brandi rolls away! The fans rally for Brandi again while both women slowly stand up. Brandi blocks and responds then chops and chops Karen, she even gives a bionic elbow!

She keeps going, whipping but Karen reverses. Brandi dodges the double ax handle, and hits a Slingblade! Cover, TWO! She drags Karen up, but Karen gets the takedown. Brandi shoves Karen into a corner, then runs in but misses. Karen runs back in, but into a back elbow. Brandi hops up, but Karen deflects the missile dropkick. Karen rolls Brandi over and puts on the full Boston Crab!

Brandi endures and drags herself to ropes! She gets the ropebreak! Karen holds on until 4, then embraces some heat before going back to Brandi. Karen says, “I’ve had enough of you”, then chops and forearms away in the corner. She whips Brandi corner to corner but Brandi goes up and over. However, Brandi’s landing jams an ankle and she staggers back onto her butt. Karen wants at her, but Brandi needs to be checked. Karen doesn’t care, she grabs Brandi anyway, but falls for the trap! Small package, Brandi wins!! And gets out of the ring asap. Whether Karen likes it or not, Brandi is leaving her behind for the quarterfinals! Can she shock the world and go all the way?

 

Dalton Castle speaks.

“Cantaloupes, beanbag chairs, and baby bunnies.”

Imagine it all, the little rabbits hopping along. However, Marty Scurll interrupts.

The Villain apologizes for the interjection, but he felt this was the best time to talk to the champion, seeing as how Castle’s in “a very, very good mood.” He’d have to be in a good mood, since he’s going around offering title opportunities. What a good champion he’s become. But Scurll reminds Castle of the opportunity he once gave the Peacock. Scurll gets to his point, which he is sure Castle already knows, but should Castle retain his championship at the 16th Anniversary Show in Vegas, Scurll would like to be first up to challenge him. “How do you like them apples?” Castle feels Scurll doesn’t really know what he’s asking for. In that case, Scurll simply wants Castle to consider the deal. The Villain takes his leave, is he hoping to line up a shot no matter who wins between Castle and Lethal?

 

ROH World Six Man Tag Team Championships: The Bullet Club’s “Hung Bucks” VS SoCal Uncensored!

When The Addiction couldn’t gain ground in the ROH Two Man Tag Team Division, they recruited one Scorpio Sky to help them join the ROH Six Man Tag Team Division! They went right to work on the champions, but found extra motivation in the ultimatum from Joe Koff. Can they grab the titles off Hangman and the Young Bucks with ten months to spare?

The bell rings and the Problem Solver starts against his old nemesis in the Heavy Metal Rebel. Kaz throws a haymaker and Hangman responds, we have a fast and furious brawl already! They go back and forth, then at the same time, neither man backing down. The fists only stop flying because the two tire out, but then they come back for a solid collision of clotheslines. Hangman swings but misses, Kaz kicks low and whips him to a corner. Kaz runs in but Hangman runs out, Hangman runs Kaz over with a clothesline. Hangman keeps going with haymakers and stomps in a corner, but Daniels and Scorpio come in to attack from behind. They also go after the Bucks, then return to stomping Hangman. The referee wants them to go back to the corner, but while Kaz rolls out, Daniels & Scorpio whip Hangman. Hangman ducks the double lariat, swings two of his own, but Daniels & Scorpio duck. The Bucks come in, double dropkicks know Daniels & Scorpio down! Matt baits Daniels into Nick’s gutbuster, then runs to say “You’re dead, old man!” with a rolling neckbreaker-backbreaker combo!

Scorpio returns but gets double back elbows. The Bucks roll Scorpio into a wheelbarrow, Nick back kicks Scorpio before hitting the cutter!

Daniels returns and Hangman is ready. He lifts Daniels in a fireman’s carry, but then Kaz returns. Hangman’s ready for him, too, as he kicks Kaz low. Hangman dumps Daniels then uses Kaz for the dropsault!

The fans are loving this, they give a standing ovation to the Hung Bucks. The SCU roll out of the ring while fans chant “The! Elite! The the Elite!” SCU regroups and takes their time returning, but Nick won’t let them rest, he builds speed and FLIES!

He wipes out the entire SCU, but that’s not all. The Bullet Club coordinate, and together Terminator kneel. Fans start up the drums, and the Terminators rise. Hangman builds speed and the Bucks join in for a TRIPLE DIVE!

Hangman puts Kaz back in, slingshot for the Buckshot! Daniels breaks the cover, but Hangman shoves him away to rock him with a discus forearm. Hangman returns to Kaz but gets a jawbreaker. Tag to Scorpio, and he climbs up, only to jump into Hangman’s boot! Scorpio bails out of the ring but Hangman pursues. The Addiction go after him but he fights them both off. While Hangman’s busy with Kaz, Daniels grabs him from behind. Kaz backs up to swing a clothesline, but Hangman ducks to let that hit Daniels!

Hangman then knocks Kaz down with a clothesline before putting Scorpio back in. Hangman takes aim from the apron, but Daniels kicks out his legs! Scorpio takes advantage by hitting Hangman with a slingshot, wrecking ball dropkick. While the ref is busy with the protesting Bucks, Daniels brings Hangman up and whips him into Kaz’s lariat. The SCU embraces the heat while Scorpio mocks the Bucks with a One Sweet. Daniels puts Hangman back in, Scorpio covers, ONE. Scorpio snapmares Hangman and scrapes boots on the face. Tag to Daniels, he kicks Hangman in the ribs. He bends Hangman back on the ropes, but then backs off at 4. Daniels keeps the ref busy so that Kaz can choke Hangman on the ropes! The Bucks are irate while the challengers are underhandedly in control, we go to break.

ROH returns, and the SCU are still in control. Kaz knocks down the Bucks while fans rally for Hangman. He pushes Hangman to the SCU’s corner but Hangman fights back! Scorpio and Daniels go down, but Kaz kicks low. Kaz whips but Hangman slides out to SUPERKICK Scorpio! Hangman baits Kaz into a boot, then slingshots but Kaz dodges the Buckshot. They speed up, and collide with a big double clothesline!

Both men are down but the fans applaud. Kaz stirs, and tags to Daniels. Daniels grabs Hangman but Hangman pushes him away, hot tag to Matt! However, both Bucks get in and run both Daniels and Scorpio down with clotheslines. The Bucks kick low, then Nick runs for the pop-up double missile dropkick! Daniels and Scorpio end up in opposite corners, and the Bucks whip them. Scorpio and Daniels reverse, but the Bucks do-si-do and duck clotheslines to double SUPERKICK!

The Bucks keep going, working together so that Nick can run the ropes for an acrobatic dropkick-crossbody combo! They spot Kaz returning, headscissors and dropkick combo! The fans fire up as the Bucks target Daniels now. Matt has Daniels in powerbomb position while Nick goes to the apron. Matt puffs then puts it out, and they hit the buckle bomb kick combo!
Daniels collapses, Matt puts him position, and Nick climbs up. The Bucks build energy with the fans, and hit the standing moonsault Frog Splash combo!

Matt covers, TWO! The fans want the Bucks to “call Uncle Dave”, so they bring Daniels up again. However, Nick has to fight off Scorpio Kaz slithers in. Kaz slingshots Nick in for a cutter!

Matt lets Daniels go to go after Kaz, SUPERKICK! Daniels gets up, but gets a SUPERKICK! Daniels rolls out, Matt builds speed and hits Daniels with a wrecking ball dropkick. However, Scorpio returns to dropkick Matt mid-reentry. The Bucks regroup, but Scorpio FLIES!

But Hangman has climbed up high, he jumps for the SUPER Asai Moonsault!

Everyone is down but the fans are all fired up. Matt gets up and puts Daniels in the ring while fans declare “This is Awesome!” Daniels crawls while Matt fires himself up. Matt tunes up the band, SUP– No, Daniels deflects to then kick low. He calls for his move but Matt counters Angel’s Wings with a huricanrana! Kaz returns, armed with a title belt, but Matt SUPERKICKS him away. Daniels comes back in but Matt takes him down, and puts on the “Cease” Sharpshooter!

Daniels endures and drags himself to ropes, but Nick comes in for a slingshot facebuster! Nick keeps moving with a cartwheel asai onto Scorpio, and Matt drags Daniels away from the ropes. The sharpshooter is still on, so Kaz drags the ref out of the ring! Daniels taps but the ref doesn’t see it while arguing with Kaz. Nick won’t stand for this, so he triangle jump corkscrews onto Kaz!

But Scorpio uses that title belt as a weapon on Matt!!

This also goes unseen because the referee is busy checking on Nick and Kaz. Daniels covers, but there’s no count. The referee sees it, hurries back in, as does Hangman! Unfortunately, the referee is faster, and counts the three! The SCU WIN!!

The Bullet Club is besides themselves, but the SCU win to make Daniels an ROH Grand Slam Champion!

But now, Bully Ray appears!

The living legend and new ROH Enforcer comes out to address the controversy. Ever since Final Battle, Bully’s been to every show and watched every match. It’s like the Wild West out here, where everyone does exactly what they want to do. Wrestlers are “putting hands on referees, not following the rules, hitting people in the head with belts?!” Bully saw it all, and says that what’s lacking in Ring of Honor is the honor. The fans agree, but SCU doesn’t seem to care. But Bully lets us know he was just talking to COO Joe Koff. Koff told Bully to “do whatever you need to do to get some order back in this company.” Bully doesn’t want to be a boss, a general manager, or any kind of authority figure, but what he will be is THE Enforcer. That said, Bully is here to enforce the Code of Honor; the same Code “guys like Nigel McGuinness” started here. SoCal Uncensored won’t be getting away “with this crap” any more. What’s Bully talking about? He’s talking about restarting this match! The fans like that idea, and those are the voices that truly matter, because this is a decision “we are making together.” Bully and the fans determine what happens, so again, do the fans want to restart the match? “YES!!” And with that, Bully tells the ref to ring the bell!

ROH World Six Man Tag Team Championships: The Bullet Club’s “Hung Bucks” VS SoCal Uncensored, RESTARTED!

The SCU turn around, into TRIPLE SUPERKICKS!!

But they’re not done yet! The fans are thunderous as Nick goes to the apron to Penalty Kick Kaz down. Hangman takes Scorpio out with a Shooting Star shoulder!

Nick kicks Daniels out of a corner and Matt scoops him into piledriver position. With the fans at a fever pitch, Nick springboards for the FIVE STAR Meltzer Driver!!

The Hung Bucks win and retain! No Grand Slams tonight, just honor and justice!

Now Daniels and SoCal Uncensored are the ones besides themselves with rage. Will they be able to win those ROH Six Man Tag titles fair and square next time?

 

My Thoughts:

What an incredible episode of ROH right here. Flip Gordon is so close to being a big star, given the great performance he has against Jay Lethal. There was great story telling as well, with Lethal not wanting to lose to a younger guy just yet, but also that Flip only lost because of one mistake. Great to hear Lethal will be the challenger at the Vegas Anniversary Show, the equivalent of Wrestlemania for ROH. Also good to see Scurll come out to protest, same as how he did last week. Now I can’t be sure, but I think Marty Scurll is trying to set up some sort of verbal contract MITB situation in ROH. He keeps asking anyone and everyone connected to the ROH WHC for the first match up after they win/retain the title. I bet he’ll come out the moment Castle VS Lethal ends to “cash in” on their agreement, using their own word to keep them to it. And even if Castle or Lethal refuse to face him that night, he can use that against them to wear them down and goad them into a match. I’m not sure if Scurll will win the title even with that, but it’d be very creative and unique for ROH to do this.

Compared to last week’s match of Mandy VS Madison, Brandi VS Karen was a bit crisper of a WOH match. There was a part where Karen went a bit soft on the forearm smash, but otherwise she and Brandi played things just right. Brandi does a bit of Tweener tactics, but that’s just how Bullet Club is sometimes. Her possible next round opponents are Stacy Shadows or Tenille (Emma) Dashwood, and I’m going to go ahead and choose Tenille for that one. Brandi VS Tenille for a match of women WWE didn’t keep would be fun for ROH, and only a 51-49 split favoring Tenille in my estimation. Brandi beating the talented Karen and then surprising the exciting newcomer would be big for the wife of the man with the most lucrative contract in ROH history. Then the main event was really big, really unpredictable and therefore, really fun. I was shocked that SCU won, even if it was with underhanded tactics. Then it was more surprising to see Bully come out and be the “not authority figure” to correct things. Though in retrospect, it makes sense SCU doesn’t get it yet, because they still have literal months before their contracts are up. Their chase needs to be extended so that when they win closer to the deadline, it means even more to everyone.

My Score: 8.5/10


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Coverage

Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (1/24/22)

Time to weigh in before the Rumble!

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WWE Raw 2022

Raw prepares for the Royal Rumble!

Before fighting for the WWE World Championship, Bobby Lashley and BRRROCK LESNARRR step on the scales to make this one heavy Monday Night Raw!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Bianca Belair VS Queen Zelina Vega; Belair wins.
  • WWE United States Championship: Damian Priest VS Kevin Owens; Kevin wins by disqualification, and Priest retains the title.
  • Six Woman Tag: Rhea Ripley, Dana Brooke & Liv Morgan VS Tamina, Carmella & Nikki A.S.H; Ripley, Brooke & Morgan win.
  • The Alpha Academy Academic Challenge Round 1, Spelling Bee: The Alpha Academy VS RKBRO; RKBRO wins and gets to choose next week’s challenge.
  • Randy Orton w/ Matt Riddle VS Chad Gable w/ Otis; Orton wins.
  • AJ Styles VS Austin Theory; Styles wins.
  • The Mysterios VS The Street Profits; The Mysterios win.

PLAY BY PLAY

Corey Graves is in the ring with Adam Pearce.

Pearce welcomes the fans to the official WWE World Championship weigh-in for the Royal Rumble. “Without further ado, please welcome the challenger, Bobby Lashley!” The Rocky Mountain Machine makes his way out, MVP right behind him, and some pyro added to his pose, and some more pyro in the ring. And of course, the WWE Champion, Br- “Ladies and gentlemen.” Paul Heyman walks out on stage to give his introduction, and says he’s so tired of everyone trying to steal his shtick, especially when no one does it as good as he does.

So about to walk down the aisle and step onto the scale, your REIGNING! DEFENDING! UNDISPUTED! WWE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD~! BRRROCK! LESNARRR!! Lesnar makes his entrance, wearing a cowboy hat and jeans, and he goes to the ring to join Lashley. But given the attire and the smirk on his face, it’s hard to say he’s taking this serious. Graves points it out, and Lesnar asks if Graves would like Lesnar to get naked. How about just carrying on with this then? Graves says Lashley is the challenger, so he will go first. Lashley throws off his jacket, steps over, and stands on the scale.

The ref checks, and Lashley weighs in at 273 pounds. MVP says, “See that? 273 pounds of All Mighty killing machine! 273 pounds of specimen like no other. Closer to a god than a man. 273 pounds of bottled lightning that Brock Lesnar will have to contend with at the Royal Rumble.” The match so many had written off as impossible is happening. But Lashley knew it was inevitable. 273 pounds, and then after the Rumble, Lashley will gain some weight. The exact amount as that WWE Championship weighs. Lesnar and Heyman laugh that off, and Graves says it is Lesnar’s turn. Lesnar takes off his hat and lets Heyman hold that while he steps on the scale.

The ref checks, and Lesnar weighs in at 286 pounds. Lashley is upset, though. Lesnar thinks this is funny, huh? He’s acting like a fool because he knows Lashley will beat him for the title this Saturday. “Mark my words: this will be the shortest title run of your entire career. And that’s not a prediction. That’s a spoiler.” Lesnar laughs and says, “Well who’s the comedian now? Paul, get this. On Sunday morning, hot off the press, Bobby Lashley beats Brock Lesnar in the Hurt Lock. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a new champion! The new reigning, defending, WWE Heavyweight Champion of the world~! Bobby Who?”

Lesnar laughs, takes his leave with Heyman, but it’s only a matter of time. Will Lashley have the last laugh when he’s the one leaving St. Louis with the title?

 

Bianca Belair VS Queen Zelina Vega!

The EST is dressed in gold, because she’s ready to go for gold in the Women’s Rumble! Will the Queen of the Ring merely be a stepping stone on Bianca repeating history?

Raw returns and Vega makes her entrance. The bell rings and they tie up. Bianca scoops and puts Vega on the apron. Bianca then blows a kiss, ducks the haymaker, drags Vega back into the ring and swings her around in the waistlock before a SLAM! Fans rally for the “EST! EST!” and Bianca avoids Vega stomping her foot! Bianca ripcords and whips but Vega reverses, only for Bianca to go up and over. Bianca handsprings, eggs Vega on, then dropkicks her down! Bianca kips up, drags Vega up, and suplexes! Bianca holds Vega up but Vega STUN-DOG MILLIONAIRES! Vega stomps away on Bianca in a corner and digs her boot in!

The ref counts, Vega lets off at 4 to then JUMP KICK! Vega keeps moving, and she KNEES Bianca down! Vega soaks up the heat, takes a bow, and then drags Bianca up. Bianca shoves Vega away, runs in but is sent into buckles! Vega then goes up, but Bianca ROCKS her first! Bianca scowls, trophy lifts Vega off the corner, but Vega fights free to a SLEEPER! Bianca RAMS Vega into buckles but Vega just throws elbows! Vega brings Bianca down to her knees, squeezes tight on the sleeper, but fans rally up. Bianca fights up, RAMS Vega into more buckles and then throws Vega off! Bianca scoops but Vega headscissors, but Bianca handsprings through!

Bianca rallies on Vega, dropkick and kip up! Fans fire up as Bianca brings Vega in for a suplex! Roll through, another suplex, and she even jogs in place before the SLAM! Bianca runs, handsprings, and MOONSAULTS onto knees! Vega grits her teeth, hops on, CODE- NO! No red, Bianca pops Vega off to a torture rack! KISS OF DEATH! Cover, Bianca wins!

Winner: Bianca Belair, by pinfall

Well, she just beat a queen, so this was the royalEST win Bianca’s gotten yet! Will she go back-to-back at the Rumble and return to WrESTleMania?

 

Backstage interview with Kevin Owens.

Kevin Patrick tries to talk with him before his US Championship match but Kevin Owens refuses to talk. K-Peezy points out KO was the first person to give Damian Priest a pinfall loss here on Raw, and KO agrees with that. But he faked an injury. What? What did K-Peezy say? Faking an injury? Is he accusing KO of lying? Has K-Peezy been in the ring? No, he hasn’t, so his opinion is moot. KO says he fought through pain! Just reed his shirt! “Just Keep Fighting.” Now tonight, KO gets his US title match, and guess what he’ll do tonight? Read the third! Just Keep Fighting. That’s right! And he’ll do that until he is the new United States Champion.

WWE United States Championship: Damian Priest VS Kevin Owens!

The Archer of Infamy knows the Prizefighter is two-faced, but now he knows what to expect after being duped into a defeat. Will Priest keep the gold away from KO? Or will Damian make it hard for him to hold back?

Raw returns and Kevin makes his entrance. The introductions are made, the title is raised, and we see who goes into the Rumble with gold already around their waist!

Kevin kicks, Priest pushes him away and fires off in the corner! Kevin dodges to CHOP and CHOP and forearm in return! The ref counts, Kevin lets off but Priest turns things around to fire off fast hands! Priest CHOPS, whips corner to corner, but Kevin reverses. Kevin runs in but blocks the knee to throw the leg down. Priest ROCKS Kevin with an uppercut, then throws more forearms! Priest runs, but Kevin drops to come back and CLOBBER Priest with an elbow! SENTON! Cover, TWO! Kevin argues the count but he goes after Priest in the corner. Kevin stomps, the ref counts and Kevin backs off. Kevin then runs in, but into a choke grip!

Kevin slips out of the choke slam to CHOP and forearm, but he runs into a BOOT! Kevin bails out, Priest builds speed, and Priest goes up the ropes. Kevin gets away, Priest hops down and goes out after Kevin. Priest blocks the superkick and throws Kevin into barriers! Priest puts Kevin back in, but Kevin SUPERKICKS him off the apron! Kevin hurries to the apron, SWANTON onto the knees! Priest was ready this week! APRON CHOKE SLAM! Priest is fired up and so are the fans as Raw goes to break!

Raw returns and Priest fires off kick after kick then a ROLLING ELBOW! Kevin goes to a corner, Priest hits a back elbow! But Kevin fights off the suplex, only to get a BELL CLAP! And a HEADLOCK DRIVER! Cover, TWO! Priest drags Kevin up, puts him in a corner and hoists him up top. Priest ROCKS Kevin with a right, climbs up, but Kevin hits back! Kevin adjusts and headbutts away on Priest! Then TORNADO DDT! Priest is in a drop zone, Kevin goes up top! FROG SPLASH! Cover, TWO!! Priest survives and Kevin can’t believe it! Kevin argues with the ref but the ref defends it was two. Kevin waits on Priest to get up, SUPERKICK!

Kevin gets Priest back up, whips but Priest holds ropes. Priest BOOTS back, ducks and dodges, to FLAPJACK Kevin down! Then a HEEL KICK! Cover, TWO!! Kevin survives almost being beheaded but Priest keeps his cool. Kevin claims he’s got a bad arm, but Priest doesn’t trust that! Priest stomps away on Kevin at the ropes, but lets off as the ref counts 4. Kevin still says he has a bad arm but Priest KICKS him out to the apron. Priest rushes over, Kevin HOTSHOTS him! Kevin give sup faking and rolls Priest up, with tights, TWO!! STUN- NO! Priest powers out to LARIAT! Priest is fuming, is Damian coming?

Priest KICKS Kevin into a corner, stomps away, fires down hands, but the ref backs him up. Priest still comes back for more, the ref has to push him away again. Priest BOOTS Kevin, fires off more elbows, but the ref calls for the bell!

Winner: Kevin Owens, by disqualification (Priest retains the WWE US Championship)

Damian got the better off Priest, but he still has the belt. Kevin may have gotten the win, but will he think again before pushing Priest’s buttons?

 

Royal Rumble entrees speak.

Rhea Ripley says, “I have a score to settle with Nikki A.S.H. But the one thing that’s consuming my mind right now is the Royal Rumble. This Saturday, it’s every woman for herself, so I’m going to win at any cost. It’s gonna be an absolute nightmare for the 29 other women when I win the Royal Rumble and move on to WrestleMania.”

Dana Brooke says, “Call me crazy, but this year is gonna be my year! As reigning 24/7 Champion, I’m ready any time, at any place. And this Saturday, I’m gonna continue riding that wave, and winning the Royal Rumble.”

Liv Morgan says we’ve all seen her from being happy to be here to the girl that took the Raw Women’s Champion to her limit. We saw her nearly become champion. But at the Royal Rumble, there won’t be “nearly.” She’ll win to become the NEW Raw Women’s Champion.

 

Sonya Deville finds Damian Priest backstage.

He was outta control! When the ref says to do something, he should listen. Or else he’ll get fined, suspended, or worse. So get it under control! Will Priest find a way to contain the rage inside?

 

Six Woman Tag: Rhea Ripley, Dana Brooke & Liv Morgan VS Tamina, Carmella & Nikki A.S.H!

We just heard from one team about the Women’s Rumble, but can they back it all up with actions? Or will they almost have momentum after facing the Daughter of Superfly, the Most Beautiful Woman in the WWE, and the Almost SuperHero?

Raw returns as Dana makes her entrance, followed by Liv. Then Mella makes her entrance, followed by Tamina, and lastly, Nikki. The teams sort out, Mella gets her protective mask while Dana starts with Tamina. They tie up, Dana wrenches to a wristlock, Tamina shoves her away then runs her over! Tamina soaks up the heat, taunts Liv and Rhea, then stomps Dana. Tamina rains down forearms, wraps on a chinlock and she thrashes Dana before clamping on a neck wrench. Fans rally and Dana fights up, Dana throws elbows. Tamina CLUBS Dana, back suplexes, but Dana lands on her feet to tag Rhea! Rhea dropkicks Tamina, then swipes at Nikki!

Rhea DECKS Mella, wrenches Tamina and hits her with short arm clothesline after short arm clothesline! Then a ripcord HEADBUTT, and a sweep to the legs! Rhea runs to basement dropkick! Fans fire up with Rhea, she brings Tamina up but Tamina shoves her away. Rhea comes back to sobat, then she NORTHERN LIGHTS! Bridging cover, TWO! Mella gets in and FABULOUS KICKS Rhea! Liv ENZIGURIS Mella! Nikki kicks Liv for a TWIST ‘N’ SHOUT! Dana SHOTGUNS Nikki, Tamina CLOBBERS Dana! Mella tags in, she pie faces Rhea, and that just pisses Rhea off! Rhea trips Mella, ties up the legs, PRISM TRAP!! Mella taps, Rhea’s team wins!

Winner: Rhea Ripley, Dana Brooke & Liv Morgan, by submission

That mask didn’t protect the legs! Will it protect Mella from being thrown out? but then Nikki SUCKER PUNCHES Rhea! What kind of hero uses a cheap shot?! Will Rhea personally make sure the Rumble is a nightmare for her former friend?

 

The Alpha Academy Academic Challenge Round 1, Spelling Bee: The Alpha Academy VS RKBRO!

In order for Matt Riddle & Randy Orton to earn a rematch for the Raw Tag Team Championships, they have to show their mental strength is superior in a series of challengers! Otis looked a little worried about that last week, but will he and “Master” Chad Gable be able to outsmart the Stallion & Viper? Or will #4PointOtis no longer be top of the class?

Raw returns and Kevin Patrick presides over this challenge. He welcomes to Raw Tag Team Champions, the Alpha Academy. Gable says that was a fine introduction but a terrible explanation. So he’ll put it in a way that even the mindless morons of Ohio can understand. SHOOSH. Tonight is the first in a triad of events over the coming weeks. Fans chant, “You Suck!” and Otis gets upset. Gable says SHOOSH, and realizes vocabulary isn’t Ohio’s strong suit. Triad means three, so there will be three events. These events will prove Gable is a genius, just as his Master’s Degree and 4.0 GPA does. Don’t boo education! If anyone needs it, it’s Ohio.

Now, this will also prove his protégé, his prized pupil, Otis has both the brawn and brains the size of a tree trunk when he and Gable decimate RKBRO into mental submission. Gable is so proud of Otis. And lastly, Gable will use this platform to officially announce that the Alpha Academy are in the Men’s Royal Rumble! And you better believe one of them is winning, and then the Alpha Academy will headline WrestleMania! Thank you! Kevin Patrick then introduces the former tag team champions, RKBRO! Orton & Riddle head to the ring, and Kevin Patrick reminds us that this is a spelling bee. Tonight’s winners will then choose next week’s challenge stipulation.

The champions open, and first up is Otis. Gable says Otis has this, and Otis nervously steps to the mic. Otis’ word is… Emmental. Can Kevin use that in a sentence? A form of Swiss cheese. E-M-M-E-N-T-A-L! CORRECT! Gable is proud and Otis is sure they’ve already got this. First up for RKBRO, it’s Riddle. Fans fire up as The Bro goes to the mic. Riddle’s word is… Calibration. Cali-bro-tion? No, calibration. Can he use that in a sentence? Uh, ok. “A simple calibration is used to set up the system for individual implementation.” Please put that into letters for Riddle. No, Riddle, you have to spell it. Oh, okay, like when he calibrates his scale for measuring ounces and-

Riddle, just spell it then! Right, sorry. C-A-L-I-B-R-A-T-I-O-N. CORRECT! Tied at 1-1 and Riddle is fired up! Gable is now up, and his word is… Disillusion. Gable laughs that one off. He was hoping for a challenger. For the sake of sportsmanship, give him the definition! SHOOSH! He didn’t need it! This is Mr. 4.0, baby! It is the disbandment of a group or organization- No, Kevin said disillusion, not dissolution. D-I-S-S-O-L-U-T-I-O-N! NO, Gable! Wrong word! What?! That was dissolution but Kevin said disillusion. This is a joke! Kevin said the word wrong! Gable says he spelled a word right! But it wasn’t the word that was said.

Orton says maybe Gable can just a freakin’ seat! Orton is ready to get this over with. Then his word and the win is… Well, one of the most commonly misspelled words. Dumbbell. Riddle says Orton has this! And looking at Riddle, Orton has this. D-U-M-B-B-E-L-L. CORRECT! Gable is furious! Dumbbell for Orton? Riddle IS a dumbbell! Gable, shut your mouth! And Ohio, let’s go ahead and shut Gable’s mouth for him! They can go 1v1 right here, right now! Gable is furious, and Orton says Gable is clearly not that smart so maybe he’ll spell out how he’s gonna beat Gable: the three most destructive letters in sports entertainment, R K O!!

Randy Orton w/ Matt Riddle VS Chad Gable w/ Otis!

Raw returns and the match is on! Orton and Gable circle, fans rally behind “Randy! Randy!” and ties up with Gable. Orton headlocks, grinds Gable but Gable fights up. Gable pries the hold, has a top wristlock and he brings Orton down. Otis says that’s the power of leverage, and Gable wernches to a wristlock. But Orton powers out to drop toehold and facelock! Gable moves around, Orton gets away, and the two circle again. They tie up, Gable wrenches, wristlocks, but Orton fights up. Riddle and the fans rally up, Orton wrenches through and headlocks. Gable powers out, Orton runs him over! Riddle is fired up as Gable gets to a corner.

Orton and Gable reset, tie up again, and Gable wrenches to a hammerlock. Orton slips around to hammerlock back, then headlocks. Gable powers out, Orton runs him over, and things speed up. Gable arm-drags, and arm-drags again! Gable keeps on the arm and fans boo as he wrenches the shoulder. Orton fights up, fans keep rallying, and Orton whips Gable to a corner. Gable goes up and over but Orton fakes out the arm-drag! RK- NO! Gable pushes Orton away, and then bails out of the ring to regroup with Otis. Fans boo and a ring count starts. Otis says you can’t RKO someone with no neck! Gable gets in the ring, he circles with Orton and they tie up again.

Orton wrenches to a wristlock, but Gable rolls, bridges, spins and handsprings to spin through and headlock. Gable then spins to the toehold and has the ANKLE LOCK! But Orton slips away and bails out to regroup with Riddle. Gable says it was that close, but Orton keeps his cool. Orton takes his time returning, but Gable throat chops him! Gable CHOPS Orton to a corner, throws body shots and haymakers, but lets off as the ref counts. Gable fires off more forearms, strikes a pose, but then Orton kicks back! Orton fires off EuroUppers over and over, whips Gable to ropes, then CLOBBERS him with an elbow!

Gable bails out again, Orton stalks up behind him! Back suplex to the announce desk! Gable flops to the floor and Otis can only glare as Orton looms over Gable. Fans are all fired up as Orton puts Gable in the ring. Otis gets on the apron, Orton knock shim down! But Gable CHOP BLOCKS a leg! Gable runs, runs Orton over, then hurries up the corner! MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO!! Orton survives and Gable can’t believe it, while Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Gable has a standing toehold. Orton endures, Riddle coaches him up, but Gable stomps Orton down! Gable has Orton in a corner, hooks a leg in the ropes, then gets the other for a DRAPING DRAGON SCREW! The ref keeps Gable back but Gable shoots in to get the left leg. Orton CLUBS Gable, whips him but the bad leg gives up! Gable whips Orton into a corner, but Orton comes back to LARIAT! Orton manages to rally, and he dodges to BACK DROP Gable away! Gable goes to a corner, Orton runs in to clothesline! Fans are thunderous for RKBRO as Orton reels Gable in. Gable switches, Orton bucks the waistlock and hits a BACK2BACKBREAKER!

Fans fire up as Otis coaches Gable and Riddle coaches Orton. Orton puts Gable through ropes, drags him out, time to spell “vintage!” DRAPING DDT! Orton slowly gets up as fans fire up behind him. Orton hears the voices and he waits on Gable. Riddle sees Otis getting on the apron and runs over that way. But Otis gets him for an EXPLODER! Orton is distracted, Gable backslides him! TWO, and Orton hits a POWERSLAM! Orton’s bad leg slows him down, but the fans still rally as hard as ever. Orton stands over Gable, then aims from the corner. Otis shouts to Gable, but Orton runs in, only for Gable to dodge the punt! ANKLE LOCK!!

Orton endures as Gable thrashes the bad leg! Fans rally, Riddle CLOBBERS Otis with his scooter! And then again! And again! Gable is distracted, Orton rolls to send Gable into buckles! RKO!!! Cover, Orton wins!!

Winner: Randy Orton, by pinfall

RKBRO gets extra credit on The Alpha Academy! A win in the spelling bee and a win in the ring, but Riddle gets a mic. Riddle congratulations Orton, and reminds us that they get to choose the second Academy Challenge. Riddle thinks it’s time to go old school to gym class! What better way to show some physical prowess than a good, ol’ fashioned… scooter race! Is that really part of gym class? And does Otis even stand a chance of finding a scooter that can hold him up? Will RKBRO make it a 2-0 sweep? Or can Gable find a way to make a comeback?

 

Alexa Bliss continues her therapy.

The doctor thinks they’re making progress. Oh? He asks her a personal question: When was the very first time that Alexa met Lily? Oh, well, Lily’s been around her whole life. Any time Alexa was looked down on or bullied, Lily was there to be her friend. Alexa was just six years old when she met Lily. These two teenage girls picked on Alexa cuz she wore glasses, and they shoved her off the monkey bars. Alexa got knocked out, and when she came to, Lily was there. Those cute button eyes and the braids and stitching. Is that too much? No, keep going. Okay.

That day, Alexa and Lily got ice cream and played on the monkey bars. Lily said those mean girls would never come back, too. Then they ate candy and gumdrops, and they did that game where you stuff marshmallows in your mouth and try to say, “Chubby bunny.” Well, Alexa has plenty more to say, will we get to the bottom of Lily’s hold over Alexa?

 

Vince McMahon talks with Austin Theory.

Vince knows Theory is doing really good lately, especially the selfies. Yeah, look at this one! No, not that one. Well, it did feel good destroying Finn Balor, just like Vince wanted. And in the Rumble, Theory will win and face the champion of his choosing at WrestleMania! That’s exciting. If it’s not too much to ask, maybe Theory could get a late number? Like 26 or 27?Why would Theory think Vince has any influence over that at all? Especially right now, when he should focus on his opponent, AJ Styles. Whoa, as in, former WWE Champion, US Champion, Intercontinental Champion, Tag Team Champion, Grand Slam Champion AJ Styles? Yep! That AJ Styles.

Theory says that’s fine. Sounds good, even! Okay, hang on. Don’t forget your phone. And bring back a really good selfie. Yes, sir! Will Theory be able to be more than Phenomenal here tonight? Or does he finally fall out of favor with Mr. McMahon?

AJ Styles VS Austin Theory!

The Phenomenal One himself just got finished with a bright and shining star with a big ego in Grayson Waller. Will Styles check off another future star in Vince’s newest pet project?

Raw returns and Theory makes his entrance. The bell rings, they tie up, and Theory powers Styles to a corner. The ref counts, Theory lets off to mock Styles’ pose, but Styles keeps cool. They tie up again, Styles powers Theory to a corner but Theory turns it around. The ref counts, Theory lets off, and then he double guns. Styles still stays cool, ties up with Theory and gets a headlock. Theory powers up but can’t power out as Styles holds tight. Theory powers out, Styles ducks the hurdle, rolls Theory up, TWO! Theory fireman’s carries, but Styles sunset flips! TWO, Styles wheelbarrows to a victory roll, TWO! Styles dropkicks Theory right outta the ring!

Fans fire up and Styles takes aim. Slingshot and FOREARM! Direct hit and Theory checks his chin. Styles puts Theory back in the ring, stalks Theory to ropes, brings Theory up and bumps him off buckles. Styles CHOPS, Theory staggers to another corner, but Styles brings him out. Theory kicks but Styles blocks. Theory ROCKS Styles with a forearm, but Styles KICKS Theory’s leg! Theory hobbles to the corner, but Styles storms over. Theory YANKS Styles into buckles! And then throws him down by his hair! Slingshot STOMP, deadlift suplex! Cover, ONE!! Theory is annoyed and he rains down rights before wrapping on a headlock.

Theory grinds Styles but fans rally up. Styles fights up, puts Theory in a corner, but Theory turns things around. Styles dodges to CHOP! And CHOP! Theory falls and crawls, but he throws body shots. Styles KICKS Theory in the side! Styles runs for a BIG knee drop! Cover, TWO! Styles gets Theory up, snap suplexes, covers, TWO! Theory grits his teeth but Styles drags him back up. Theory FLAPJACK HOTSHOTS him! Styles sputters while Theory seethes, and Theory stomps Styles down! Theory drags Styles up, throws forearms, then whips corner to corner. Styles hits buckles hard, and Theory gets in his face! “How’s that feel?!”

Theory throws fists down but the ref back shim off. Theory stands on Styles’ head, but lets off as the ref counts. Theory drags Styles up but Styles DECKS Theory with a forearm! Styles drags Theory up, but Theory suplexes for a GOURD BUSTER! Styles flounders in the corner, Theory hoists him up top. Theory throws forearms, climbs up to join Styles, but Styles throws body shots in return. Styles ROCKS Theory, Theory drops but then somersaults to SHOTGUN DROPKICK Styles to the floor! Fans boo but Theory grins as he looks down at Styles, and Raw goes to break.

Raw returns and Theory has a headlock. Styles throws body shots, Theory knees low. Styles kicks back, then ENZIGURIS! Theory staggers, Styles runs in but Theory catches his crossbody for a BACKBREAKER! Then a SWINGING BACKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Theory grins as Styles survives, and he stalks Styles to ropes. Theory bumps Styles off buckles, then RAMS a shoulder into his back! And again, and again! Theory lets off as the ref counts, and Theory throws down more fists. Theory brings Styles up, but Styles JAWBREAKERS free! Styles ROCKS Theory with a right, then CHOPS him to ropes. Styles whips, Theory reverses and BACK DROPS! Cover, TWO!

Theory says HE is phenomenal but fans boo. Theory drags Styles up to snapmare and stomp him down! Theory mocks Styles’ pose again, but misses the elbow drop! Theory grits his teeth as he gets back up and runs in at the corner. Styles elbows Theory away, then QUEBRADA DDT! Both men are down but the fans fire up! Theory and Styles are on opposite ends, Styles runs in to LARIAT! Theory kicks back but Styles fires off the Phenomenal Blitz! Styles hits a clothesline in the corner, then suplexes Theory to a NECKBREAKER! Styles runs, SLIDING FOREARM! Cover, TWO! Theory is still in it but Styles keeps his cool.

Styles drags Theory up, fireman’s carries but Theory slips out. Styles ducks the haymaker but not the back elbow! Theory hits a BIG back suplex! Cover, TWO! Theory checks his chin again, drags Styles up and says he’s got this. JAWBREAKER! Styles runs in, but into a BOOT! Theory somersaults for a BLOCKBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Styles survives and Theory can’t believe it! Theory shakes his head, convincing himself he can do this. Theory gets Styles up to throw big forearms in the corner. Theory puts Styles up top, climbs up to join him, but Styles resists! Styles slips through and trips Theory up! Styles waistlocks, but Theory elbows out hard!

Theory reels Styles in, but Styles fights out of the powerbomb! Styles ducks and dodges to PELE! Both men are down again and fans are rallying! Styles reels Theory in, but Theory fireman’s carries! Styles fights free, rolls Theory, CALF CRUSHER!! Theory scrambles, ROPEBREAK! Styles lets go and both men slowly get up. Styles grabs at Theory but Theory holds the ropes. The ref calls the ropebreak, Theory throat chops! But Styles BOOTS back, goes to the outside, but Theory trips up his springboard! High stack, but with ropes! The ref sees that and stops the count! Theory and the ref argue, but Styles ROCKS Theory!

Styles is on the apron, he springboards in, PHENOMENAL FOREARM!! Cover, Styles wins!

Winner: AJ Styles, by pinfall

Now that was phenomenal! Will Styles use this momentum to take the Royal Rumble and that golden ticket to WrestleMania? And what of Theory facing Vince’s wrath?

 

Raw holds a simultaneous interview with Becky Lynch and “Doudrop” Piper Niven.

Commentary wants to start with Piper. This match has been a long time coming, and Piper ran through the rest of the division to- Becky speaks up and asks if this is their first time. We start with the champion. And she’ll start with a champion of “a wee lass named Doudrop.” When she first got her start across the pond, who did she idolize? Becky. Who did she want to face most? Becky. Tell ’em how Becky paved the way, and as the groundbreaker she is, she gave Piper this match. People are asking, “Why would anybody in their right mind choose someone who can clearly out power them? Who can clearly break all their bones with one slam to the mat?”

Maybe that’s the answer! Maybe Becky isn’t in her right mind. Or maybe Becky is that confident in how damn good she is! Or that generous to grant an opportunity to a fellow Celt. Piper speaks up to suggest that maybe, Becky handpicked Piper because Becky is desperate. Maybe ever since she returned, she’s been ducking, dodging and scrambling just to hold onto the title. Maybe Becky thought putting the new girl in would be an easy victory. The only easy thing here will be how easy it is for Piper to break every single one of Becky’s ribs.

Becky wants “Doudou” to hold on there. Becky should be thanked for giving Piper her biggest match, her first title match here, and for paving the way and giving Piper a match at one of the biggest events of the year. If Piper had just said thanks, but no. Piper waited for Becky to get in and offer a handshake, so of course Becky slapped her across the face. And being the bigger person, Becky offers to lead Piper to victory in the tag match. But then Piper splashed Becky, dropped her, left her lying. Becky admits, she didn’t see that coming. But Piper’s in for a rude awakening at the Rumble when she steps in the ring with the #VanGOAT and Becky wins to stay Raw Women’s Champion.

Oh, is Becky done? Piper zoned out when she started hearing that whining, nagging sound, or else she was gonna lose it. But Piper will show gratitude when Becky shows respect. But Becky won’t, she will keep whining. She’s not a goat, she’s a little lamb on the way to the slaughter. The Dome is the slaughterhouse, and the new champion will be Doudrop! Becky says Piper was just another name to fill out the roster before this. Piper needs to know her place. It’s dead space and- Oh, Piper’s getting off the mic? She gonna run? She can’t run from the truth, or from this fight. Becky’s been champ for nearly three years !But then Piper barges into Becky’s room!

Piper and Becky scrap and referees rush in to stop it! Piper says her place is with the title, standing over Becky! Will Piper be the one to make Becky DouDROP that title?

 

Backstage interview with Rey & Dominik Mysterio.

Sarah congratulates Rey on being the WWE 2K22 cover superstar. What does it mean to be among the ranks like Stone Cold, The Rock, John Cena and The Undertaker? Rey says this is so dope. You have no idea what an honor it is to represent. Most superstars spend their careers chasing achievements, from main eventing WrestleMania or entering the Hall of Fame. Being on the cover of a WWE video game is no different, especially when that game is FIRE! Although, the one thing prouder would be seeing Dom on the cover one day. Dom says now Rey’s talking. Dom used to play those games growing up, and he knows he has to create his own legacy to be in those games. That starts Saturday when he wins the Royal Rumble.

Well okay, but that’d mean he has to throw Rey out. That’s not happening, right? Well after last week, he might be first to go! Dom’s got jokes. He’s playin’ right? Dom grins and heads out, but Rey laughs it off. Will “every man for himself” be true even for the Mysterio Familia?

The Mysterios VS The Street Profits!

Rey & Dom won alongside Montez Ford & Angelo Dawkins last week, but now they’ll go against each other for some last minute momentum! Who will be on fire going into the Royal Rumble match after tonight?

Raw returns as the Mysterios make their entrance. The teams sort out, Dawkins starts against Dom. They circle, tie up, and Dom headlocks. Dawkins powers out, things speed up, Dom RANAS! Dom throws hands, knuckle locks and CHOPS, then goes up to FLYING ARM-DRAG! Dawkins dodges, Dom keeps moving, Dawkins hits a big back elbow! Cover, TWO! Dawkins drags Dom up, whips him to ropes, but Dom wheelbarrow sand throws Dawkins out of the ring! Rey gets in, holds the way open., Dom DIVES! Direct hit onto Dawkins, and then Rey crossbodies Ford! Rey runs, but Ford throws him out onto Dom!

Dom manages to catch Rey, but Ford FLIES! Direct hit and down goes everyone! Ohio is fired up as Raw goes to break!

Raw returns again and Dawkins grinds Dom down in a chinlock. Dom endures, fights up, throws body shots, but Dawkins DECKS Dom with a right! Cover, TWO! Dom is still in this but Dawkins wraps on another chinlock. Dom endures again, fights up, Rey coaches him through it, and Dom gets to his feet. Dom throws more body shots, but Dawkins knees low. Dom ends up in a corner, but he dodges the cyclone splash to kick and TORNADO DDT! Both  men are down and fans fire up! Dawkins and Dom crawl, hot tags to Ford and Rey! Rey dodges Ford to tilt-o-whirl and headscissor! Ford ends up in a corner, puts Rey on the outside, but Rey ROCKS him!

Rey goes up top, leaps, SEATED SENTON! Rey keeps moving, dodges again, but Ford FLAPJACKS Rey down! Ford somersaults, to a SPLASH! Cover, TWO! Rey gets to ropes, Ford whips him, but Rey kicks back. Rey slides under, Dom gets in, and he gives Rey a boost to RANA Ford on tropes! The Mysterios dial it up but Dawkins trips Dom and drags him out! Ford runs in but Rey drop toeholds him to ropes! 6 1 NO! Ford blocks that, gets Rey up in an Electric chair, but Rey victory rolls! The Mysterios win!!

Winners: Rey & Dominik Mysterio, by pinfall

The King of Lucha finds a way to snatch this one away from the Profits! But then Dom gets behind Rey and lifts him up, but Rey RANAS Dom out! Rey tells Dom he needs to try better than that, but then Ford TOSSES Rey! But then Dawkins tosses Ford! Dawkins says he got Ford there! But then the DIRTY DAWGS get in, and they both throw Dawkins out! Roode & Ziggler talk trash, but then the Mysterios and the Profits get in to go after them! It’s a huge scrap, but the Dawgs get tossed! And then the remaining four all square off in their own corners! Will any of these men make it to the end of the Rumble match this Saturday?

 

Backstage interview with Seth Rollins.

Kevin Patrick brings up how the Usos are barred from ringside during the Universal Championship match at the Royal Rumble, and Rollins says that sounds so good. Rollins likes K-Peezy and will give him a little “insider information.” This was never about The Usos, or anyone else but Roman VS Seth, Seth VS Roman. Now they go 1v1 at the Rumble for the title, and historically speaking, Rollins likes his odds. Rollins knows he can beat Roman because he’s already done it. Roman knows Rollins has his number. Roman wants people to think very highly of him, but Rollins is the one who can put Roman in his place.

So speaking of Roman, Rollins is going to pay SmackDown one more visit this Friday, because unlike Roman, Rollins delivers his messages in person. See you Friday, brother! Rollins laughs it up, but will he have the last laugh this Friday? And will this Saturday be the first time Roman gets the better of Rollins?

 

The Miz heads to the ring!

The Hollywood A-Lister promised it last week, and now it’s here! Maryse’s birthday celebration will be here on Raw, and the ring’s already filled with presents! Will all go smoothly for the It Couple this close to the Royal Rumble? We’ll see, after the break.

Raw returns and Miz welcomes us to the Maryse Birthday Extravaganza! It’s a celebration of his wife’s birthday, and then Saturday, we will celebrate The It Couple beating The Grit Couple! So without further ado, welcome the birthday girl, a woman more gorgeous, more sexier and more intelligent than anyone here, Maryse! Maryse makes her entrance, and there’s security at ringside. Miz says he speaks for everyone here when he says, “Open your first gift!” Maryse pulls the veil off a painted portrait of her and Miz as a prince and princess! Miz has done it! She feels even more special than the day she became a mother!

Or when he got her that pink Rolls Royce! Or when he got her that $500,000 ring. Well no expense spared. He got top of the line security to make sure there will be no intruders! They checked the ceiling so there wouldn’t be a Brood Bath! There will be no Edge or Beth here! Miz speaks for all of us when he says, “Open your second gift!” Miz hands it to Maryse, she pulls off the lid, and it’s… A custom hand purse! It says “No limit” on the side because there is no limit to their love. Wait, what’s this big one? Miz thought Maryse got him something. Uh, it’s her birthday. Why would she… Wait, then if he didn’t get that, and she didn’t get that… Then what’s in the box?

SECURITY! Get in here and open the box for Miz! The guard goes up to it, rips the paper away, and it’s all a trick! Miz put the brick that Maryse hit Beth with in a frame! This demonstrates that these two will always be one step ahead of Edge & Beth. Just watch this recap video as proof! Maryse asked Beth to call off the Mixed Tag, Beth refused, Miz tried to jump Edge but failed, but it still distracted Beth enough so Maryse could CLOBBER Beth! Fans boo but Miz & Mrs. just soak it up. Now it is time for everyone to get up out of their seats and sing Happy Birthday to Maryse. On three. One, two, DO NOT BOO! This is a birthday celebration! Stand up and sing!!

Now, one! Two! Three! HIT IT! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you~! Miz is so sour… But here comes EDGE! AND Beth! Edge has the music cut to tell Mike ‘n’ Maryse that they’ve been real clever. But being clever won’t matter on Saturday. All these security guards won’t matter on Saturday. Because Miz & Maryse stepped in it now! They’ve got a pissed off Rated R Superstar, and an extremely pissed off Glamazon on their hands. These two are gonna show everyone why that’s not a good thing. The Grit Couple storms to the ring, CLOBBER guard after guard, and Beth scoop SLAMS the next one! Edge TOSSES another, Beth sends one more into the steps!

The It Couple bail out of the ring, so Edge and Beth tear everything up! Beth SPEARS one guard, Edge SPEARS another! Miz & Maryse freak out over the cake being in harm’s way, but the Grit Couple give a guard a HART ATTACK! Shout out to the days of Beth teaming with Natty. Another guard gets in, he gets a 3D!! A shout out to some of Edge’s greatest rivals, before he BOOTS another guard! Edge sees the cake still standing, and Miz says he better not! Edge drags the guard up, reels him in, and POWERBOMBS him through the cake AND table! The terror on the It Couple’s faces is real this time! Will they even show up in St. Louis for that Mixed Tag match?


My Thoughts:

I have a feeling word got back that last week’s Raw was pretty sad, because they made sure this week’s Raw was really good. Now, a weigh-in segment for a title that doesn’t really have weight restrictions was really just an excuse to get Lesnar and Lashley to interact one more time. But Lashley and Lesnar are both doing really well on the mic these days, and Lesnar being dismissive of Lashley is such a great element of this. It’d be wild if Lashley won this but there’s a good chance Lesnar retains and we still get something of Lesnar VS Roman, title for title. Rollins has a good promo rather late in the night, but him hyping up the SmackDown go-home means something good is coming.

Bianca VS Vega was a short match, as was the Six Woman Tag, but sadly that’s how things are in RawDown these days… But at least we got a great promo segment from Becky and Piper. Piper leaving her room to find Becky and brawl with her was awesome stuff, and their match is going to be awesome stuff, but pretty sure Becky wins. Then they’ll set up Becky VS Bianca at WrestleMania, Bianca finally avenges her SummerSlam loss. Also, Alexa Bliss has to be returning to action during the Rumble. She might not win but she could have a really good showing to reestablish herself. Tonight’s vignette didn’t really do much, it just had her rambling about Lily’s origin story with no serious revelation.

We got a really good US Championship match, but it was a bit cheap for Priest to get disqualified when “Damian” let loose. Maybe Kevin comes back after the Rumble to try again and that builds to a US title match at the Elimination Chamber PPV in February. Styles VS Theory was a great match, too, just wish Vince would’ve let Theory and Finn have a match as good as that. And if Styles was still feuding with Grayson Waller, we could’ve built to Styles & Finn VS Theory & Waller, but nope. Vince has apparently given up on Finn, but not enough to cut him the same way they cut a lot of other great people. What a weird old man.

I loved so much of the Academic Challenge segment. Great promos from everyone, and I love that Gable got so cocky that he went with what he thought he heard and not what Kevin Patrick really said. Then we got an awesome match of Orton VS Gable, that also had the awesome aside of Riddle attacking Otis with the scooter. Now, going with a scooter race next week isn’t really something you’d see in gym class from what I’ve experienced, but it’s definitely a Riddle kind of choice. I’m not sure how, but Alpha Academy is definitely finding a way to win to push this to the third challenge, which RKBRO will win to get a tag title match.

The Mysterios VS Profits was really good, with Ford and Rey really standing out in this match. Mysterios get the win for momentum, but then the Dirty Dawgs get in on things for a nice brawl. I don’t see any of those six winning, though, but maybe the Mysterios come out tag title contenders for after RKBRO and Alpha Academy sort out. And then we got a pretty good final segment. As birthday parties that get ruined goes, I like that Miz swerved us with the giant box and then we get Edge & Beth straight up crashing the party. I spotted the Tate Twins among the security guards that got bodied, I hope that means they’re signing with NXT 2.0. The Grit Couple standing tall here, the math would suggest The It Couple finds a way to win, but who knows, Edge & Beth could defy the math.

My Score: 8.3/10


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AEW Coverage

Mitchell’s AEW Dark: Elevation Results & Report! (1/24/22)

Washington DC gets Elevated!

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AEW Elevation Coverage

AEW has eight for America’s capital!

Team Taz’s Ricky Starks & “Powerhouse” Hobbs look to clear out Dante Martin’s allies, Matt Sydal & Lee Moriarty, as AEW continues in Washington, DC!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Leyla Hirsch VS Brittany Blake; Hirsch wins.
  • Private Party VS Myles Hawkins & Action Andretti; Private Party wins.
  • Brandi Rhodes VS Willow Nightingale; Brandi wins.
  • The Men of the Year VS Logan Easton Laroux & Mike Fowler; The Men of the Year win.
  • Red Velvet VS Janai Kai; Velvet wins.
  • Santana & Ortiz VS Breaux Keller & Goldy; Santana & Ortiz win.
  • Thunder Rosa & Ruby Soho VS Leva Bates & Jordan Blade; Rosa & Soho win.
  • Ricky Starks & “Powerhouse” Will Hobbs VS Matt Sydal & Lee Moriarty; Starks & Hobbs win.

QUICK NOTES

Great to see Leva Bates back in action, but I have a feeling she and Jordan Blade will put Rosa and Soho over. Leyla Hirsch is in her first match since her Heel turn, so seeing how #LEGITHEEL wrestles compared to when she was a Face will be one to watch. And Team Taz taking on Sydal & Moriarty is going to be great, especially since it ties story in from Dynamite.


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