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Mitchell’s WWE Monday Night Raw Report! (2/12/18)

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All images courtesy of the WWE’s official Twitter

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • The Miz VS John Cena; Cena wins, Miz must enter the Men’s Elimination Chamber match first.
  • The Club VS The Revival; The Revival wins.
  • Bayley VS Sasha Banks; Bayley wins.
  • Absolution w/ Paige VS Mickie James & Alexa Bliss; Absolution wins.
  • Sheaums w/ Cesaro VS Roman Reigns; Reigns wins.
  • Elimination Chamber Qualifying Fatal 4 Way: Finn Balor VS WOKEN Matt Hardy VS Apollo Crews w/ Titus Worldwide VS Bray Wyatt; changed into…
  • Elimination Chamber Qualifying Fatal 5 Way: Finn Balor VS WOKEN Matt Hardy VS Apollo Crews w/ Titus Worldwide VS Bray Wyatt VS Seth Rollins; double pinfall, Balor & Rollins both win.

PLAY BY PLAY

Raw opens with JOHN CENA!!

The Face that Runs the Place appreciates the mixed reaction from San Jose as fans sing “John Cena Sucks~!” Cena says “The past is the past”, and focuses on the present that is the Road to Wrestlemania. Everyone is excited because they know the importance of Wrestlemania. Whether you’re live in the arena, watching at home or a superstar in the back, everyone knows Wrestlemania “can make a superstar’s career.” Wrestlemania can bring someone back from the dead, and can be the most important night in a WWE superstar’s career. Every week, every wrestler makes their case for a ‘Mania Moment, but Cena must face the truth. Cena has to win the Elimination Chamber Match to get to Wrestlemania. He knows the fans have mixed reactions, but “for the first time in 15 years”, Cena may not have a Road to Wrestlemania. So to those who oppose, Cena will state his case: “I have to survive the most unwinnable match” to face “the most unbeatable champion in WWE history.” In other words, it’s “impossible.” But whether you’re for him or against him, everyone knows Cena loves making the impossible possible! Cena vows to win the Chamber and vows to go to Wrestlemania against Brock Lesnar! But The Miz comes out to respond.

“You’re gonna go on to main event Wrestlemania?” This isn’t 2013, this is 2018, The Year of the Miz! Maybe Cena’s been off in Hollywood too much and is losing track of reality. Cena defeat Lesnar? Cena’s a founding father of Suplex City! The Miz will go on to Wrestlemania because that’s where his Intercontinental Championship belongs. He will be the first dual IC & Universal Champion when he defeats Brock Lesnar! Cena points out fans quite literally laughing at Miz’s comments. Miz has no chance– no wait, there is a small chance, like Lesnar not making his flight. But Miz’s first match with Lesnar may very well be his last match ever. That’s where Cena is wrong. Cena made a mitake beating Lesnar at his own game, but Miz will play to his own strengths, i.e. his brains. Miz does “whatever it takes” and uses “whatever is at my disposal”. He wins because he does what others won’t, he crosses lines that others won’t, which is why Miz beat Roman Reigns for the IC Championship and will beat Lesnar in the main event of Wrestlemania! But, Miz has to survive the Chamber first. He sounds overly confident. Well Miz is confident because he’s done it before, to John Cena.

Cena admits that he likes Miz being bold enough to run his mouth. But in the middle of “Miz Country”, Cena suggests Miz VS Cena! And they need to make it huge: the loser enters the Chamber first!! now that’s a Monday Night Raw worthy of the Road to Wrestlemania! The fans agree with “YES! YES!” Miz isn’t stupid, Cena. The fans think he is, though. But Miz knows that going in first means the worst chance of winning. And as insurance, The Miztourage goes after Cena! Bo Dallas & Curt Axel hit him with the back suplex neckbreaker! Miz still accepts the challenge, and calls for a referee! But instead, he gets Raw GM Kurt Angle!

Angle won’t allow this match to happen like this. He likes the idea, making the loser enter the Chamber first. The match is on, but “speaking of eliminations,” The Miztourage is eliminated from ringside! Bo, Axel, get the hell out of here! The A-Lister no longer has his aces in the hole, has he just stuck his foot in his mouth?

The Miz VS John Cena!

The Bell rings and Miz covers right away, TWO!! Miz freaks out, he swears that was three! It wasn’t, so Miz goes after Cena with a hammer of left hands. Another cover, another TWO! Miz begs he win already, but we go to break.

Raw returns to see Miz blast Cena off the apron. Miz slips out to fetch Cena, not satisfied with his work. He throws Cena into the barriers along the ramp! Then he throws Cena back into the ring before climbing up top. Miz takes aim at Cena, and knocks him down with double ax handles. Cover, TWO, Miz returns to being frustrated. He looms over Cena while the fans duel “Let’s go Cena!” “Cena Sucks!” Miz knocks Cena down each time he gets up, but then Cena flips over and gives knees to Miz’s groin. Cena dropkicks Miz, covers, TWO. Cena gets up and drags Miz to his feet for the Fisherman suplex. Cover, TWO, and Cena tries again. Miz knees low a few times then kicks Cena in the head. Miz gets a running start to boot Cena in the face, covers, TWO. The frustration builds, but Miz keeps his cool. Cena stirs, crawling to a corner while the fans rally. Miz goes after Cena with body shots, and backs off at 4. He runs back in but into a back elbow, Cena hops up for a tornado DDT!

Cover, TWO! Miz crawls to ropes while Cena stands up. Cena whips but Miz reverses, into the sleeper hold! Miz brings Cena to his knees then to the mat, but the fans keep dueling. Cena wills himself back up as the fans fire up, but Miz adds on his full weight. Cena fades and falls back to the mat. Miz keeps squeezing, but Cena finds his second wind. He reaches but can’t get out while we go to another break.

Raw returns again, and Miz stalks Cena for his finish. The full-nelson is on but Cena throws Miz off. Fireman’s carry but Miz slips down to Figure Four!

Cena endures the legendary leg lock while the fans “WOO~!” and Miz shouts for him to give up. But instead of giving up, Cena pries himself free and reverses into his hold, the STF! Miz endures the combination crossface and toehold, but drags himself towards ropes. He reaches out, and gets the ropebreak! Cena lets go at 2, and Miz gets to the apron while he goes to the other side. Cena returns, drags Miz up, but Miz hotshots Cena back. Miz climbs up to the top rope again, crossbody, but Cena catches him! Pop-up to the fireman’s carry but Miz slips out, kicks out a knee, low DDT! TWO! Miz can’t believe it! Cena gets himself to a corner for safety while both men catch their breaths. San Jose declares “This is Awesome!” while both men stand up. Miz takes aim and runs corner to corner, and hits his A-List corner clothesline! Cena drops tot he mat while Miz fires himself up. Miz sees Cena in the other corner and runs in, but Cena catches him into the AA!

TWO!! Cena is in disbelief as he gets himself to the apron. He thinks about what to do next, and decides to climb up. Miz bumps ropes and that brings Cena down. Miz gets the Figure Four again! Cena tries to pry himself out again but Miz keeps him from doing that, so Cena drags Miz into a crossface! Miz endures, drags himself again, and gets another ropebreak. The two separate again, but Cena run sin but into buckles! Skull Crushing Finale!! TWO!! The advantage in the Chamber means this much to both of them! They both catch their breath while down on the mat, Cena back in a corner again. Miz gets up and brings himself over. He hoists Cena up to the top rope, then makes his way up from the outside. Miz climbs up from behind and puts Cena in the full-nelson… But Cena breaks out to get the fireman’s carry! SUPER AA!! Cena wins!

Miz must enter the Chamber first! The leader of the Cenation celebrates with fans in the front row, thanking those that inspire him.

Can Cena outlast The Miz and five others to become #1 contender to the Beast? As for Miz, can he survive at all?

 

WOKEN Matt Hardy speaks.

“Tonight I have a second chance to fulfill my destiny.” However, her has Apollo Crews, Finn Balor and “the vile” Bray Wyatt to contend with. But Hardy has been blessed by the Seven Deities to render them OBSOLETE! Hardy shall be victorious and make the Elimination Chamber shall become the DELETION Chamber! Will Hardy DELETE the other three tonight to then DELETE five others at the Elimination Chamber PPV?

 

The Balor Club’s Good Brothers speak.

The Revival have been pushing the “Nerd-o-meter” to the absolute limit when they talk about being tag team specialists. Yet, Finn and ol’ Karlski shut them up last week. This week, Gallows wants his turn. Being able to name tag teams from 1902 doesn’t make them #TopGuys, it makes them… NEEEEERDS!!

The Club VS The Revival!

But while Anderson & Gallows make their entrance, Dash & Dawson ambush them from behind! Gallows gets a chop block, then Anderson gets a double lariat. The #TopGuys leave the Good Brothers writhing on the outside while they enter the ring, then dare them to get in. Gallows & Anderson recover and get pissed off before rushing the ring. Dash & Dawson run out of the ring to troll The Club, because this match starts “when we say.” The Revival talk strategy then return to the ring. Gallows and Dawson start, Gallows going right at him with big rights. He pushes Dawson into a corner and unloads body shots, then blasts Dash for good measure. Gallows rocks Dawson with an uppercut, then throws him halfway across the ring!

Dawson gets to another corner but gets more heavy hands from Gallows! Gallows drags Dawson up and whips to ropes, then boots him right down. Dash returns, to get a big body drop. Anderson goes after Dash himself with a rain of rights. The referee gets in the way, Gallows shoves Dash out but Dawson chop blocks again! The Revival gain control while we go to break.

Raw returns, and Dawson has exposed Gallows’ battered knee to go right at it. He tags in Dash, and they keep on the knee from all sides. Gallows shoves Dash but Dash stomps him back. The fans rally for The Club even as Dash puts on a knee wrench and toehold.

Gallows endures the torque, and even kicks out with his good leg. Dash holds on as Gallows stands up and gets a haymaker. Dawson tags in and jumps, but into a YAKUZA kick! Gallows crawls for hsi corner and hot tags The Machine Gun! Anderson rallies on Dash, his whip is reversed but he hits shotgun knees. He takes out Dawson then jump kicks Dash down! The fans fire up as Anderson hops up, and hits a flying neckbreaker! Dawson returns but Gallows drags him out to rock him with uppercuts. But then Dawson throws Gallows into steel steps! Anderson goes after Dawson, Dash rolls up with tights, TWO! SPINEBUSTER!

TWO! Anderson keeps focused on Dash, then runs in corner to corner. Dawson tags in, but Anderson fights them both, He still goes after Dash, but ends up in SHATTER MACHINE! Revival wins! These rough and tumble boys prove they’re #TopGuys tonight, can they get ahead in the Raw Tag Team Championship hunt?

 

Raw General Manager, Kurt Angle, returns.

The Olympic Gold Medalist comes out with “mixed emotions.” He announces that Rhonda Rousey will officially sign her WWE contract! But he also must update us on the situation with Jason Jordan’s neck. Jordan got surgery, and will be out to miss Wrestlemania. Some fans actually like that news. Angle does his best to come to work with a smile on his face, but not right now. He is speaking not as GM but as a father. For those to take join in a superstar’s injury, you should be ashamed of yourself. Jordan may not be everyone’s favorite, but he’s a human being and is Angle’s son. Angle just wants everyone to wish Jordan “Get Well Soon”. But then, Seth Rollins comes out!

The Architect was the Gold Blooded Son’s most recent tag team partner, and the two were Raw Tag Team Champions together. Therefore, Rollins comes out to apologize and give his best wishes. Rollins knows what it’s like. He was WWE Champion, and won it at Levi Stadium after caching in his Money in the Bank contract. Rollins felt unstoppable, on top of the world, even. But then “it all came crumbling down” when he messed up his knee, forfeited the title and missed ‘Mania. But missing ‘Mania helped Rollins learn that no one’s moment is guaranteed. Rollins realizes that he, too, is without something to do at even Elimination Chamber. Angle did say that last week’s match was Rollins’ last chance, but maybe they can change that. All they have to do is find Rollins another tag team partner. Rollins speaks up, saying thanks, but no thanks. When Angle became GM, he said Rollins could be a mainstay. Rollins doesn’t want to be part of Raw anymore. No, he wants to be ALL of Monday Night Raw! Rollins wants to make this Monday Night Rollins!

He wants to be The Man again. He wants Brock Lesnar, the Universal Championship, and at Wrestlemania. The only way to do that is to win the Elimination Chamber. Angle appreciates Rollins’ enthusiasm, but he can’t just cancel the main event. Rollins doesn’t want it handed to him, he wants to earn it. Make the Fatal 4 Way, and make it a Fatal FIVE, with Rollins as the fifth! The fans like that idea very much! Angle isn’t so sure, it doesn’t seem fair to the other four. Angle doesn’t want to be put in a bad spot. But Rollins’ fate is in Angle’s hands as he puts his body on the line for Raw. Jordan missing ‘Mania sucks, yes, but Rollins shouldn’t have to miss out, too. In all honesty, it isn’t up to Rollins or to Angle, it’s up to the WWE Universe. Angle asks, but the answer is pretty clear already. Should Rollins get a chance to enter the Chamber? “YES! YES!” Then the match is made! Can the Architect find a way into the high-stakes Elimination Chamber match!?

 

Bray Wyatt speaks.

“Well, well, well.” Seth Rollins joins the game? He doesn’t deserve a second chance, but neither do Balor, Crews or “that fool” Hardy. Hardy attacks Bray, yet he calls Bray vile? Hardy is “another sick disturbed man in need of help.” Bray knows how to fix him and everyone. They’re like fish by the sea, stalked by a shark. Bray is that shark, and he is starving. He vows to win his second Chamber match in a row, and then slay The Beast to become champion, and “have the whole world in my hands.” Can the Eater of Worlds follow through on his words?

 

Bayley VS Sasha Banks!

The “friendly” competition in trying to break Asuka’s Streak first has made these best friends a bit bitter with each other. Both women are in the inaugural Raw Women’s Championship Elimination Chamber match, but who will gain an extra step of momentum here tonight?

San Jose cheers on their hometown Huggable Bayley as the bell rings. Bayley and Sasha circle, hearing the thunderous chants. They tie up and Bayley rolls, ONE. Sasha tries but Bayley counters to a backslide, ONE. They stand up together, Bayley arm wrenches and La Mahistrol, ONE. Bayley is having fun but Sasha seems annoyed. Sasha kicks low then whips Bayley to a corner, but Bayley elbows out and jumps for a flying arm-drag. Bayley dropkicks Sasha down, then waits for her friend to stand back up. Sasha pushes Bayley into a corner and fires off forearms. The fans boo and jeer, the two scrap and Bayley gets a headlock. Sasha powers out but Bayley runs her over. Bayley runs, things speed up, Bayley rolls Sasha but Sasha slips around for the Bank Statement but Bayley slips out of that. Sasha sits for the pin, TWO. Sasha wrenches Bayley’s arm and yanks on it, then whips Bayley for the hip toss. She adds on double knees, covers, TWO. Bayley checks her teeth while Sasha stands up and walks around her. Sasha goes after the arm again, but Bayley fights out Bayley whips but Sasha reverses and hits her with a forearm before throwing her right out of the ring. Sasha catches her breath while fans boo and jeer. She welcomes Bayley back into the ring, but then dropkicks her back down. Sasha goes out to fetch Bayley, puts her in the ring, but Bayley powers her to a corner. Bayley rams in shoulders, but then Sasha slips out to hotshot the bad shoulder! The Legit Boss embraces the heat while we go to break.

Raw returns, and Sasha bends Bayley back with a straitjacket stretch. The San Jose fans cheer for their Bayley, and Bayley feeds off the energy to work her way up. She fights out of the hold but Sasha gives Bayley an armbar code breaker. Cover, TWO, and Sasha grows frustrated. She looms over Bayley in the corner, trash talking and shoving her “friend.” Bayley throws a forearm, then boots but Sasha turns her sideways, for the Stock- no, Bayley catches her, but on the bad shoulder. Sasha slips down and kicks it from behind. Then she hits double knees in the corner, mocks Bayley’s wacky waving tube men, runs corner to corner, but into Bayley’s big lariat!

The fans fire up for their hometown hero while the referee starts a ten count. Both women stir slowly, and brawl on their knees. They brawl up to their feet, Sasha slapping Bayley! She runs, but into Bayley’s Thesz press and fast hands! Bayley brings Sasha up but Sasha forearms back, so Bayley barrels her into a corner! Bayley throws in shoulders, then starts stomping a mudhole! The referee backs her off, Sasha runs out, into the saido suplex! Sasha rolls to the apron, Bayley goes over, second rope hotshot! Cover, TWO! The fans rally for Bayley as she gets to her feet. She brings Sasha back up, but Sasha jawbreakers. Evne so, Bayley runs to boot Sasha in the face! Sasha rolls away but Bayley gets herself to a corner. Bayley climbs up top and takes aim… Big Elbow Drop misses! Sasha gets the Bank Statement crossface! Bayley flails while the fans cheer her on! She crawls to the far side, reaches for the ropes, but Sasha blocks with a foot on the rope. The ref reprimands her, Bayley gets the break. Sasha keeps going, though, dragging Bayley away. Bayley uses that to fling Sasha face first into buckles! Both women are down recovering. Bayley gets up first, but Sasha boots her away. Sasha drags herself up but Bayley rocks her with a right. Bayley climbs up now, throws some forearms, then positions Sasha. Sasha resists and fights back. She shoves Bayley away, but Bayley returns, SUPER Bayley2Belly!! Bayley wins!! Best friends or not, these two went hard this close to the historic Women’s Chamber match. Can this victory carry Bayley all the way through to once again become Raw Women’s Champion?

Being a good sport, Bayley returns to her friend. But before either can do anything, Nia Jax runs them over from outta nowhere!!

She brings Bayley up, for the Samoan Drop! Then a Samoan Drop for Sasha, too. Charly Caruso appears to ask her why she ruined a moment that has nothing to do with her. This has everything to do with Nia. Bayley and Sasha brought Asuka to her limit but she wrecked them in seconds. At Elimination Chamber, there’s only woman who can break the Streak, “and you’re looking at her.” The Brutal Beauty is set to face the Empress of Tomorrow for a major opportunity of her own at the Raw Women’s Championship. Can the Irresistible Force wreak her own havoc on the Road to Wrestlemania?

 

Seth Rollins encounters Roman Reigns backstage.

The Big Dog sees The Architect “worked your magic.” Well Roman can’t have all the fun in the Chamber. He’s not afraid Rollins will get in, will he? No, because Roman can eliminate him then like he did at the Royal Rumble. But then The Bar walk in and tell Rollins not to worry about The Chamber. With his track record, it’ll be another “failed opportunity.” Cesaro wonders if Dean Ambrose and Jason Jordan are doing physical rehab together, talking about how lousy Rollins is as a partner.

Roman keeps Rollins back, then grins at The Bar. What happened to Cesaro’s mouth again? Ran into the Shield. And Sheamus must not have gotten the memo. “But you will tonight.” Nice skirts, fellas. Is the partial Shield going to go after The Bar again tonight?

 

Raw takes a look at The Empress of Tomorrow’s historic undefeated streak.

October 7, 2015: “An undefeated campaign was born.” Asuka arrived in NXT with a win, and 860 days later, she has 240 wins, 0 losses. “How do you defeat the undefeated?” Asuka has defeated 34 different women, eight of them former women’s champions in their own right. She held the NXT Women’s Championship for 523 days, and only ended because she gave up the title to join Monday Night Raw. Asuka is the first woman to be a Survivor Series Sole Survivor and Royal Rumble winner, and now has her choice of Women’s Championships at Wrestlemania. There’s no end in sight, but she will face her toughest challenge yet in Nia Jax. Will the Empress of Tomorrow continue making history through Elimination Chamber?

 

Backstage interview with Titus Worldwide.

Apollo Crews could make history in his on right by entering the Elimination Chamber match. Titus takes over to give Renee Young a world class vacation. He asks if Crews is worried about being DELETED? No, Crews is here to CREATE! Bray Wyatt is a shark going after “another fish in the sea.” Is Crews afraid of the Eater of Worlds? Bray can’t digest him. Will Crews let Rollins #BurnitDown? No, he’s going to put Rollins out! And what about waiting in line for Balor Club? Crews is already in a VIP club right here. Yes, Crews is ready, and Dana crunches the numbers. She says #CrewsCan’tLose! Titus is all fired up for Crews, and Crews is ready to take one small step for Apollo, and one giant leap for Titus WORLDWIDE~!

 

Alexa Bliss encounters Mickie James backstage.

What is The Goddess up to? Why did she save her from Absolution and why are they teaming up against them tonight? Well, the match is because Alexa asked for it. She’s sick of the newbs thinking they can run Raw, and Mickie must want revenge. Plus, she wants to clear the air. Alexa did some and said some really mean things. Like calling her old? Buying Depends? Mickie remembers, but what about it, Biscuit Butt? Alexa admits she was jealous. Mickie is a six time women’s champion and mother who still looks amazing. She’s impressed and intimidated, that’s all. And? Well, that was an apology. But it’s fine, Alexa just wants to point out that if Absolution works together in the Chamber, everyone else gets screwed out of the Raw Women’s Championship. Is that why Alexa tried to weasel her way out of the match? No… But Absolution can just play keep-away with the title! Mickie appreciates what Alexa did last week, and will work together this week, but she wants that championship at Chamber. Play nice for now, but you’re “buttering the wrong biscuit, honey.”

Absolution w/ Paige VS Mickie James & Alexa Bliss!

As The Goddess and the veteran both said, the Gladiator and the Golden Goddess could easily work together to make sure one of them wins in the Raw Women’s Championship Elimination Chamber match. Can Mickie & Alexa keep them down tonight despite their dysfunction?

Mandy and Mickie start with the bell. They circle, tie up, and Mickie gets the headlock takeover. Mandy gets the headscissor counter but Mickie pops out to wrap on a headlock. Mandy powers out but Mickie runs her over then cartwheels to dropkick Mandy down. Cover, ONE, but Mickie keeps on Mandy. Mickie whips but Mandy reverses to elbow her back. Tag to Sonya, waistlock and slam to the mat. Sonya keeps hold but Mickie elbows her back. Mickie then dodges to kick and kick and run Sonya over with forearms. Tag to Alexa, they double whip and double back elbow Sonya down. Alexa gives Insult2Injury, covers, TWO. Paige coaches Sonya, Sonya fights back with body shots. Alexa knees low and bends Sonya back for the standing STO. She stands on Sonya’s hair, Paige protests, Alexa tags to Mickie. Mickie runs for the low boot!

Cover, TWO. Sonya powers Mickie to a corner an drams in shoulders. She runs out then back in but into Mickie’s boot, and into the mick-rana! Mickie hits Sonya with a Thesz press, then Mandy with a forearm. Sonya roundhouses Mickie down, covers, TWO. Paige coaches her team on as Mandy tags in. Sonya throws in body shots then Mandy throws in a kick. Mnady brings Mickie out for the standing abdominal stretch. Alexa cheers Mickie on while she endures the bend, Mickie slips out to snapmare Mandy away. Mandy kicks but misess, Mickie spins her around for the neckbraeker. Both women are down and a ten count begins. Paige distracts Alexa from the floor, Alexa argues with her, Sonya trips Alea off the apron! Mickie is too late to tag, Mandy pounces with the double underhook facebuster! Cover, Absolution wins! Their teamwork proves Alexa’s point, as does Paige sicking them on Mickie! Alexa returns to fight Absolution off, does this prove Alexa’s words of wanting to stand united against them?

 

“Ladies and Gentlemen: Elias.”

The Drifter has come to San Jose, and as always, plays his guitar for all to hear. He has one question, the same question as always, “Who Wants to Walk With Elias?!” San Jose gives a “pathetic” response. The best thing about this city is that it’s just an hour away from a real city like San Francisco. Well no, every city in California is “a toxic dump.” Must Elias remind everyone that he is the man who defeated John Cena AND Braun Strowman at the same time, and made himself the “odds on favorite” to win the Elimination Chamber? Elias vows to win and go on to Wrestlemania. Then everyone will know what the WWE Universe knows, WWE means “Walk With Elias!” A much better response this time, Elias likes that. Elias also likes the sound of his own voice. He has come with a new song, The Elimination Chamber Blues. Please silence phones, hold applause and shut mouths while he performs. “Six men enter~, but really only one-” The fans’ booing disrupts him. “If that’s how you’re gonna be then I’m not gonna sing.” The fans like the sound of that even better! Elias keeps going, though, he’s already all warmed up. “It ain’t gonna be the Big Dog, because nobody believes. As for The Miz, he should watch his step. Maybe just stick to Miz TV. Remember those songs I wrote, Miz? Those weren’t for you, those were for Maryse!” He smashed JOhn Cena with a guitar, “the only thing he can’t see, is that the future is right here.” Then there’s Braun Strowman, “I get it, raise your hands, say a name but, I’m gonna douse your dreams in gasoline and watch them go up in flames.” But Jojo announces “Ladies and Gentlemen: Braun Strowman.”

Strowman has his OWN spotlight and microphone!? Elias isn’t sure what the Monster Among Men has planned, until he presents a cello to play as a guitar. Strowman strums but ends up breaking it. “Well Elias says he’s gonna win~. But we all know that that ain’t true. You look at me, boy, when I’m singing, cuz I’m not finished with you!” Elias gets worried, “but when this song’s over, you’re gonna get these hands~!” The fans chant “Get these hands!” Strowman broke the instrument so “there’s only one thing left I can do with it.” The Monster Among Men shoulders the “bass”, and brings it to the ring!

Elias gets ready with his musical weapon, but then says to “settle this like men.” They’ll put the weapons down, and have a fair fight. He puts the guitar down, Strowman puts the cello down, and the two meet in the ring, Elias blindsiding Strowman! However, he goes back to his guitar, only for Strowman to intercept him. Strowman clubs Elias right down! Then he pick shim back up, for the monstrous powerslam! Strowman roars victoriously, will it even matter that Elias goes in last if Strowman is still in the Chamber?

Elias tries to crawl away, but Strowman exits the ring. He looks at his cello, and picks it back up! Strowman stalks Elias up the ramp and to the stage. The fans want to see it, Strowman smashes Elias with the cello!!

Forget Elias, does anyone stand a chance in the Chamber with Strowman in the match?

 

Finn Balor speaks.

Hardy wants to DELETE him, Bray wants to eat him? Apollo wants to prove “Crews Can’t Lose” and Rollins wants to be The Man. Balor doesn’t care what they want, he wants to use his second chance to enter and win the Elimination Chamber match. Then he can get what he wants: what he never lost; the Universal Championship!

 

Sheaums w/ Cesaro VS Roman Reigns!

The Celtic Gladiator and Swiss Cyborg feel pretty good about still being Raw Tag Team Champions, despite the minor controversy of Jason Jordan’s interference. However, to get even for his Shield Brother, The Big Dog looks to drag Sheamus into His Yard. Can Roman use the tag team champion as a way to gain momentum before the Elimination Chamber match?

The bell rings and Roman makes sure Cesaro stays back. He circles with Sheamus then ties up. Sheamus pushes but Roman pushes him back into a corner. They break cleanly, then circle and tie up again. Sheamus gets the wristlock, the arm wrench, but Roman reverses to his own hammerlock. Sheamus gets to the ropes and they break again, but Roman teases the Mohawk. They go again, Roman gets the waistlock but Sheamus elbows out. Sheamus backs Roman into a corner with body shots, then rocks him with a European Uppercut and a headbutt. Roman hits back, bumping Sheamus off buckles and then whipping him corner to corner. Sheamus reverses but Roman fires out with a clothesline. The Bar regroups on the outside, Cesaro coaching up “Sheamy.”

Sheamus returns but Roman rocks him with right hands and then clotheslines him back outside. Cesaro helps Sheamus regroup again while the fans duel “Let’s go Roman!” “Roman sucks!” Sheamus drags Roman out and throws hands on the outside before bumping Roman off the apron. Roman keeps himself from going into the post then slings Sheamus into barriers! He bounces Sheamus off the apron in return, then throws him into more barriers. The fans cheer while Roman refreshes the count. He has to back Cesaro down, Sheamus takes advantage with the rolling senton!

The Celtic Gladiator has control while we go to break.

Raw returns, and Sheamus keeps Roman down with a keylock. The fans make noise but Cesaro doesn’t want to hear the random “Rusev Day!” chants. Sheamus wants them to “Respect the ‘Hawk!” Roman works his way up but Sheamus knees him back down. The fans tell Sheamus “You Look Stupid!” which upsets him, but Roman makes it worse with haymakers. Roman breaks free and starts rallying with lariats. He whips but Sheamus reverses, Roman runs Sheamus over with one more lariat. Roman runs at Sheamus in a corner but gets a big boot before being thrown right into the post. Then Sheamus adds the Irish Curse backbreaker, cover, TWO! Sheamus keeps going, stomping Roman in the stomach and tying up the legs in the Cloverleaf! Roman endures the bend while fans make noise both ways. Roman pushes himself up and reaches but Sheamus drags him away. Sheamus slips out of the hold, Roman shoves him then gets the Samoan Drop! Cover, TWO! Cesaro is relieved, but also coaches Sheamus to get back into this. Sheamus and Roman stir, the fans start firing up for Roman. He gets to a corner, locks and loads, then runs…

into White Noise! Cover, TWO! Sheamus is shocked, Cesaro protests. Cesaro gets Sheamus to stay focused, and Sheamus gets himself to a corner. Sheamus fires himself up, “FELLAAA!” He beats his chest a she takes aim at Roman, runs out, into a  SUPERMAN PUNCH! TWO! Cesaro is relieved again while Roman is a bit surprised. Roman gets up, lets out his howl, then runs in, to a foot! Sheamus runs out, but is picked up for the sit-out powerbomb! TWO! Both men are down from exhaustion, but Cesaro coaches Sheamus up. The fans keep cheering Roman on, and Roman gets up again. He fires up as he takes aim again, but Cesaro distracts from the apron. Sheamus rolls, TWO! Bicycle knee! Cover, TWO! Sheamus is furious with Roman’s resiliency.

He shoves Roman out of the ring, then distracts the ref for Cesaro to run in, but Cesaro is tossed into the crowd! Then SUPERMAN PUNCH brings Cesaro down! Sheamus rams a shoulder, but then Roman reverses a whip to send Sheamus into a post! Roman runs in for the Drive-By, but is intercepted by a lariat! Sheamus puts Roman in the ring then climbs up top. He takes aim, flying– SPEAR!! Cover, Roman wins! The Big Dog toughed it out with the Celtic Gladiator, can he show this same resiliency inside the Elimination Chamber?

 

Raw announces the newest Hall of Fame inductee: Ivory!

Starting in GLOW, Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling, the California grown superwoman would come to the WWE and help revolutionize the Women’s Division! Unfortunately, her triumph went to her head, and attempted to straighten out the WWE with her Right to Censor faction. She took on other great women wrestlers, such as Lita, Trish Stratus and even the Ninth Wonder of the World, Chyna! Whichever form of Ivory fans liked most, everyone can agree she belongs in the HoF Class of 2018!

 

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Fatal 5 Way: Finn Balor VS WOKEN Matt Hardy VS Apollo Crews w/ Titus Worldwide VS Bray Wyatt VS Seth Rollins!

The Architect joins four other superstars who are receiving a second chance at entering the Universal Championship #1 Contenders match. Which man will rise above the others to then attempt another overcoming of odds?

Raw returns with this match already red hot. Hardy and Bray brawl on an apron while Rollins stalks Crews around a corner. Bray clubs Hardy into the apron while Crews ditches Rollins. Crews bumps Bray off to then hit an asai moonsault!

Balor returns but gets a mule kick and a boot! Rollins returns but gets the jumping lariat! Crews kip-ups and fires up as he runs at Balor. Balor puts him on the apron for the swing kick. Rollins gets up but Balor rallies with forearms on him. Takedown and double stomp! Bray returns, Balor gets him with the elbow drop DDT, Hardy breaks the cover. Hardy forearms Balor and whips him but Balor elbows him away. Balor climbs but Hardy stops him. Hardy drags Balor out in a crucifix, but Rollins SUPERKICKS that down. Balor unloads on Rollins but Rollins runs, into the Slingblade! Balor runs corner to corner but into a SUPERKICK! Rollins sees Bray and evades, but still gets the body check! Bray fires up and drags Rollins to his feet. He prepares Sister Abigail but Rollins rolls through, TWO! SUPERKICK! Cover, Balor barely breaks it in time. Rollins throws Balor back out, then keeps Hardy out before returning to Bray. He scrambles to a corner and the top rope, but Crews returns to rock him with a right. Crews climbs up to join Rollins, then Hardy joins in. Balor does, too, and they prepare a Tower of Doom, but Bray returns to break it all up with another body check. Bray throws Balor out, then throws hands on Hardy. He throws Crews away and drags Rollins out for the draping shoulder jawbreaker!  Crews runs back in, but into the yurinagi and back senton!

TWO! Bray simply grins and laughs while we go to break.

Raw returns again, Bray clobbers Balor in a corner then fires fans up with his creepy spider walk. But Hardy says “WONDERFUL~!” and applauds. Bray is taken off his game while Hardy and the fans give him an ovation. He runs but into Hardy’s haymakers and forearms, then the DELETE buckle bumps. Hardy runs in for the clothesline but Bray powers out, only to end up in the Side Effect! Balor returns, and he gets a Side Effect, too!

Hardy hops up and takes aim, elbow to Bray’s head. He continues the “DELETE! DELETE!” and goes for the Twist, but Rollins hits the flying clothesline! Rollins chops and punches Bray into a corner, then whips corner to corner but is reversed. Bray runs but is booted away, as is Crews. Rollins hops up, double blockbuster! The fans fire up while Rollins sees that Wrestlemania sign. He runs, DIVES on Balor! Then he DIVES on Hardy! Then he DIVES on Bray! The Architect gets back in the ring with Crews, runs in corner to corner for the forearm smash, then right into the suplex roll-through Falcon arrow! Cover, TWO, and Titus is relieved. Crews and Rollins are down inside the ring while the others are all down on the outside. Titus rallies the fans, Crews and Rollins stand up. Crews elbows Rollins away but then Rollins knees Crews out. Bray returns, gets an enziguri! Rollins runs, but into the turn-around lariat! Bray covers, TWO, while Balor blasts Hardy and Crews on the outside. Balor gets back into the ring and slingblade on Bray! Blasting dropkick puts Bray in the corner. Balor climbs up top, takes aim but Rollins springs up to join him! They fight each other, but Rollins clubs Balor down. He Phoenix Splashes but rolls through when Bray evade.s Sister- no, Twist of Fate! Cover, Coup De Grace to break it! CURB STOMP!!

But Crews breaks the pin! Everyone is down again and the fans are loving it! “This is Awesome!” Crews and Rollins stir while Balor gets to the apron. The fans rally while Crews fires off shots, but then Rollins responds. Rollins forearms away on Crews like mad, then runs, but into a trophy lift! He slips out but Crews still gets him, Fall Away Drop to Standing Moonsault! TWO! Titus can’t believe how close Crews was. The others are all still down, so time is of the essence. Crews brings Rollins up, but Rollins resists and fights back. Wristlock reel out but enziguri counter! Standing shooting star, cover, TWO! Titus coaches Crews on, and Crews positions Rollins before climbing up top. Hardy returns to go after him, climbing up to join him. Crews resists, but Hardy clobbers him down to try again. Crews keeps fighting, and Bray brings Hardy all the way down for SISTER ABIGAIL on the ground!

Bray laughs before reentering the ring and going after Crews. He turns Crews around and rock shim with an uppercut before climbing up. Balor and Rollins revive to go over, and TOWER OF DOOM!! Both Balor and Rollins cover Bray, double three-count!? They both win?!

But, there’s only one spot in the Chamber, they can’t both go. And once both of them realize what happened, they’re arguing their point. The referee explains he saw them both pin Bray, so who the heck won!?

WWE Facebook has video of Angle meeting with Rollins & Balor!

Kurt Angle addresses Raw's controversial main event

WWE Raw GM Kurt Angle has a solution following the end of the #Fatal5Way match! #WWEChamber

Posted by WWE on Monday, February 12, 2018

Yes, you heard right! Angle makes this Men’s Elimination Chamber truly historic by making it a SEVEN MAN match! Both The Architect and the Extraordinary Man join the Hollywood A-Lister, the Cenation, the Monster Among Men, The Big Dog and The Drifter in the Universal Championship #1 Contenders match! With the odds of the match growing even steeper, who will overcome and move on to face the Beast at Wrestlemania?!

 

My Thoughts:

What a fast-paced and entertaining Raw! Probably because it was more match and substance than promos and scripted attempts at building characters. Cena opens but gets right into a promo fight with Miz that leads to a match that actually impacts the Elimination Chamber match. Cena-Miz here tonight was incredible, championship/PPV worthy given the stakes. Miz losing isn’t even that bad, he can show how tough and intelligent he is by lasting a long time. And you may think, “What’s the point of making someone start first? Someone else will start with them.” But that in itself is the point: someone else starts with Miz, but that person could be anyone. Miz must be one of the first two to start the match, meaning he must survive them all to win. Then Revival VS Club was also great, and the back and forth in the wins and losses creates an evenly matched feud that helps build both teams up in the Raw Tag Team Division. The Bar doesn’t have challengers right now, but I imagine one or both of these teams could challenge them at Elimination Chamber or at Wrestlemania. And speaking of The Bar, Sheamus VS Roman was another solid match to keep Roman looking strong, as we can all tell he’s still the favorite for challenging Lesnar at ‘Mania.

The Raw Women’s Division moments were great, too. Sasha VS Bayley was amazing, on par with their instant classics from back in NXT, right down to Sasha being the all-but-stated Heel throughout. Even Nia attacking them both after was great, because Nia wants everyone to respect her. The fans already love her, but I still don’t think she’ll break Asuka’s Streak at Chamber, that’s something that should happen at ‘Mania, but maybe not this year’s ‘Mania. Meanwhile, Mickie rightfully questions Alexa’s motives, but they also rightfully keep it together as a team against Absolution. Absolution wins to further Alexa’s point, and to make the duo of Sonya & Mandy a strong alliance. The inaugural Women’s Chamber match could go anyone’s way but it’d be quite the pleasant surprise if Alexa lost to Sasha or Bayley so that they can fight over the belt on the Road to Wrestlemania.

Then there is THE major development in the Men’s Elimination Chamber match with the surprise Fatal 5 Way. Everyone was great it in, everyone got their moments, but then the finish was unexpected yet (in my opinion) spectacular. Balor and Rollins, the two men that first fought over the Universal Championship, both get a pinfall and though the televised version ends with controversy and confusion, WWE uses social media to sort it out. I’m thinking for this first ever Seven Man Elimination Chamber match, perhaps instead of two men starting it’ll be three so that Miz will have to use his two opponents against each other. If Roman winning is a foregone conclusion then there’s no point in complaining about the result, I just personally hope Balor lasts right up until the end.

My Score: 8.8/10


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Joe’s CMLL Results & Review (9/17/2018)

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CMLL Arena Puebla Show Monday

El Asturiano and Black Tiger vs Espiritu Maligno and Fuerza Chicana

Maligno and Asturiano start out the match exchanging arm drags. Maligno is bare foot so Asturiano while having him in a hold bites his feet. Not very hygienical. Tiger and Chicana make their way in trading holds. Tags are made briefly and they pick up the pace but Chicana and Tiger come back in soon after to continue the faster pace. Maligno misses a splash and Tiger gets him in a surfboard stretch for the submission, then Asturiano pins Chicana with a hurricanrana pin combo. First Fall: El Asturiano pins Fuerza Chicana with a hurricanrana.

Black Tiger hits a monkey flip on Maligno to start the round and then hits a pose. Asturiano and Chicana are in to follow. He ends up feigning a dive to the outside. Maligno and Chicana start to get heat on the other team by double teaming both guys when they get the chance. Malingo hits a baseball slide to Asturiano in the corner and then they get both of them in submissions. Some elaborate stretches. Second Fall: Espiritu Maligno submits El Asturiano with a submission hold.

Third round starts with Asturiano being double teamed. Maligno hits a drop kick on him sending him out bringing in Black Tiger to get doubled. All four are in the ring now exchanging chops. Maligno gets Asturiano in a Gory Guerrero special into a pinning combination for the pin. The Chicana gets Black Tiger in a single leg boston crab for the win. Third Fall: Fuerza Chicana submits Black Tiger with a single leg boston crab.

Winners: Espiritu Maligno and Fuerza Chicana

Oro Jr, Super Astro Jr, and Tigre Rojo Jr vs King Rocker Jr, El Malayo, and King Jaguar

King Jaguar and Oro Jr start off with some chain wrestling, exchanging holds. They meet a stale mate and King Rocker come in and continue to exchange holds and chain wrestle. Tigre Rojo and Malayo come in and pick up the pace. Malayo gets Rojo in the corner to get an advantage on him, but it doesn’t work out. Oro Jr and Rojo hit a combo neck breaker on Malayo. Super Astro hits him with a dive for a pin. Tigre Rojo gets King Jaguar in an arm bar for the first fall. First Fall: Tigre Rojo Jr submits King Jaguar with an arm bar.

King Rocker starts the second fall with Oro jr and Oro gets him to the outside and then hits a pose. Astro comes in there next with Malayo. Astro gets him to the outside and then feigns a dive and hits an elaborate pose. After that Rojo and Jaguar come in and he too gets Jaguar to the outside and feigns a dive. Finally Rocker and Malayo are working over Tigre Rojo. Once they dispose of him they start to triple team Astro Jr. Jaguar hits a big baseball slide dive on Astro. Oro Jr gets hit with a basement drop kick to the hit by King Rocker for the second fall. Second Fall: King Rocker pins Oro Jr with a basement drop kick.

Oro and Rocker start out in the third round. This becomes a triple team attack soon. It doesn’t last for long and Oro Jr, Astro, and Rojo go for dives but they get dodged and then it becomes a brawl. They exchange spots and go for pins that get broken up. Astro hits a top rope headbutt on Malayo and pins him. Oro hits a power slam on Rocker and then Tigre and him do a double team move where Rojo flips Oro onto Rocker for the pin. Third Fall: Oro pins Rocker while being flipped by Tigre Rojo.

Winners: Oro Jr, Super Astro Jr, and Tigre Rojo Jr

Guerrero Maya, Fuego, and Stigma vs El Sagrado, Misterioso, and Tiger

Interesting note, the Arena Puebla is called Temple of Pain in translation. They should do Lucha Underground out of here. Maya and Misterioso start out in the match, and as they exchange holds and perform some mat wrestling, I’d like to point out how hype Fuego’s entrance is. After they go to a stale mate Sagrado and Stigma come in. They don’t last long and Fuego and Tiger get in there and pick up the pace.

Tiger irish whips Fuego into his corner and this causes his teammates to come in and triple team Fuego for a moment. Fuego’s teammates come in to confront. Fuego makes a come back and gets Tiger to the outside and then a brawl breaks out on the outside. After that Maya starts to get triple teamed. Misterioso hits a weak drop kick bringing Maya to the outside then hits a pose, but Fuego rolls him up. First Fall: Fuego rolls up Misterioso.

The second round is started with Stigma getting triple teamed. After they dispose of Stigma to the outside, Maya comes in to try his hand but the numbers are too much. El Sagrado hits an elbow drop for the second fall. Second Fall: El Sagrado hits an elbow drop on Guerrero Maya for the pin.

Maya starts the fall getting triple teamed but made a come back by hitting everyone with a tilt-a-Whirl back breaker. After that Stigma and Fuego came and hit middle rope dives. They all start to exchange spots now, one at a time. Fuego hits his matrix bridge spot and then hits a dive. Stigma hits a big hurricanrana on Misterioso. Tiger and Stigma start to exchange chops.

Eventually Tiger hits a big power bomb. Fuego hits a big victory roll on Misterioso and the ref takes forever to go for the count and Sagrado breaks it up. Misterioso hits a reverse power slam and Fuego breaks up the pin and then he hits a big dive. Stigma hits a pinning combination on on Sagrado and Maya hits a spring board, shoulder block on Tiger for the win. Third Fall: Guerrero Maya hits a shoulder block on Tiger for the win.

Winners: Guerrero Maya, Fuego, and Stigma

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Joe’s AAA Results & Review (9/21/2018)

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AAA Twitch Tapings 9/21

Mini Psycho Clown and Mascarita Sagrada vs Cocoa Armarillo and Espectrito

So we have an unannounced mini match so I’ll do my best. Mini Clown hits a dive on Cocoa to start. They’re brawling on the outside. Mini Psycho Clown is the AAA mini’s championship. Mini Psycho is being double teamed. Mini Clown starts to make his come back getting Espectrito out of there while running wild on Cocoa. After Espectrito breaks up a pin they’re back to doubling Mini Psycho Clown. Cocoa goes for a poetry in motion type move and misses. Mascarita goes to the top and hits a hurricanrana on Espectrito. Mini Psycho Clown is actually pretty impressive. He hits a springboard dive to the outside on Cocoa. Mascarita gets Espectrito in a victory roll for the win. Mascarita Sagrada pins Espectrito with a victory roll for the win.

Winners: Mini Psycho Clown and Mascarita Sagrada.

Keyra, Lady Maravilla, and Starfire vs Faby Apache, La Hiedra, and Lady Shani

Keyra starts with La Hiedra and Keyra starts off quick hitting a moonsault for a pin that Shani broke up. Shani drags her around the ring into a pinning combination that’s broken up by Lady Maravilla. Maravilla goes for a top rope arm drag which Shani blocks. She gets her in the corner and then hits a boot to the corner. Shani goes for a pin but Maravilla slips out, then gets Shani against the ropes and hits a drop kick. Attempting another move, she’s blocked by Apache who hits her with a big shot. Starfire hits an arm drag on Apache from the top. Apache counters the next move with a drop toe hold then a leg drop. Crowd is very much behind Apache.

Keyra gets Apache out of there, then they triple team La Hiedra until she rolls out leaving Shani in there. They hit a double spine buster on her and then starfire hits double knees from the top. Shani reverses a move and hits a back stabber. La Hiedra hits a stunner on Maravilla and Hiedra, Shani, and Apache are left in the ring. Shani calls out to Keyra to face her. Keyra obliges. Shani hits a northern lights suplex which is broken up at 2 by Maravilla. Starfire gets in with Hiedra and hits a fisherman suplex but Apache breaks in up. She gets starfire in a pinning combination. Keyra breaks it up.

Keyra hits a front faced tiger driver on Apache but it’s broken up. Starfire and Maravilla hit dives on Shani and Hiedra taking them out leaving Keyra and Apache in the ring. Keyra gets the advantage with a drop kick to the corner. Apache reverses her next move in a torture rack but Keyra reverses that into a pinning combination for the victory. Keyra pins Faby Apache with a roll up.

Keyra grabs the mic after the match. She challenges Apache for the title. Starfire then does the same. Faby accepts and the match is set up for October 28th. On the official card there will be a surprise female in that match. Konnan said he’s talking to a bunch of women. My guess is Scarlett Bordeaux. My speculation.

Winners: Keyra, Lady Maravilla, and Starfire

Emperador Azteca, Demus, and Ciclon Ramierz vs Aerostar, Argenis, and Nino Hamburguesa

As always I will call Nino Hamburguesa Hamburger Boy. It’s easier that way. I just hope I’ll be able to keep up with this match. Match starts with Aerostar and Argenis hitting huge dives and Hamburger boy hits a big shoulder block on Demus. Hamburger boy goes for a dive but Demus isn’t having it. Aerostar then hits a hurricanrana on him. Aerostar focuses on Azteca next and hits a big arm drag and then they stare each other down. Azteca reverses him, then hits a hurricanrana of his own. After a few sequences Azteca hits a step up enziguri on Aerostar and then dives over the ref onto Aerostar to the outside. This brings in Ramierz and Argenis. Ramierz goes for a spot which he messes up. In typically 2018 fashion they repeat the spot and he succeeds. Crowd notices of course.

Argenis hits a pop up cutter for a two count. Ramierz gets to the top and hits a big move on Argenis which Aerostar breaks up the count. Aerostar walks the ropes while Ramierz is stuck in the corner for a back stabber. Demus comes in to relieve Ramierz before Aerostar could go for the pin. Demus rips off Aerostars shirt and bites his.. nipples. Aerostar makes a come back hitting an elaborate head scissors, and then goes for a springboard attack but Demus moves. Demus hits a huge jay driller and Hamburger Boy stops the count late but the ref slowed it down before three. Hamburger boy gets the better of Demus which brings Azteca in. He uses his speed to his advantage and hits a code breaker on Hamburger boy in the corner.

Argenis comes in and gets both Azteca and Demus in the corner. Hamburger boy then hits a rolling senton on them. They go for another but they rolled out of the ring. Aerostar then hit a big dive on Demus while Argenis hit a moonsault to the outside on Azteca. Ramierz runs at Hamburger boy and he back drops him to the outside onto everyone. Then Hamburger boy does a middle rope senton on everyone. After the chaos Ramierz is let in the ring with Argenis. Argenis hits a pentagon driver for a close two count. He goes up to the top after but Ramierz is up to follow him and hits a flipping head scissors from the top for the win. Ciclon Ramierz pins Argenis with a top rope flipping head scissors.

Winners: Emperador Azteca, Demus, and Ciclon Ramierz

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(NOAH) WEEKLY NEWSLETTER VOL.2 ~ 21ST SEPTEMBER 2018

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CURRENT TOUR RECAP

NOAH finished up their mammoth five day in a row event (14th September to the 18th September), fortunately no-one was injured, but both Hajime Ohara (neck) and Hi69 (knee) seem to be carrying injuries.

After losing the GHC Heavyweight Tag Title challenge against Naomichi Marufuji and Akitoshi Saito, Kaito Kiyomiya intimated that he would be interested in challenging for them again, but with another partner (i.e. Go Shiozaki). Shiozaki was seen watching Kaito Kiyomiya in the tag match against 50 Funky Powers in Hakata Stalene. Later in the tour he mentioned on Twitter about “shutting them up” and their GHC Heavyweight Tag Challenge

.Speaking of Go Shiozaki there was a very sweet moment that took place in Hakata, involving both himself and Atsushi Kotoge. When they made their entrance in their match against The Hooligans (Cody Hall and Maybach Taniguchi), a little boy could be seen dressed in a homemade “Revolutionary Cloak”. When Kotoge appeared the little boy and the little girl next to him (most probably his sister), did the revolutionary fist pumps (to the delight of Kotoge who joined in), and when he had gone, Shiozaki noticed, did it for half a second, and then went bright red (Shiozaki gets very shy when he has to do physical comedy, he also has a tendency to start giggling as well when others do it).
During the match, the brawl went into the crowd, and a little girl was upset by it and started crying. Go Shiozaki, gave her a hug to comfort her, and once back in the ring got The Hooligans in the corner, pointed to her and said “this is for you”, and proceeded to chop them.

Despite his claim to “bring the revolution to Hakata, and defeat the villains!”, Atsushi Kotoge took the Zwei Bomb from Taniguchi.

Naomichi Marufuji is still not accepting the challenge of The Hooligans, and gave a somewhat bad tempered promo in Ehime saying they were “a fool, a baldie” and “even though I am an asshole with a lack of sleep, I am going to crush you all. Come and line up with your heads bowed. I am not going to accept your challenge! I’m not in the mood!” Marufuji is still being obsessively hated by Kenoh, and he certainly has taken it from him on this tour, but the person the five days really belongs to, is Katsuhiko Nakajima, who utterly obliterated Takashi Sugiura and did the cocky pin on him. I don’t think anyone has ever at any time or anywhere ever done this…

Nakajima, being Nakajima, wasn’t finished there as he draped the belt over him, and then threw Sugiura out of the ring. When Sugiura had recovered and scraped himself off of the floor, Nakajima had gotten the microphone, and standing on the turnbuckle he told him that he would continue to plague him like he did today, he would plague him again tomorrow and the day after that and forever afterwards.

At the end of the five day tour, having been thoroughly battered by Nakajima, Takashi Sugiura said tiredly he couldn’t keep up and says that he has had no choice but to get better, and rethink his strategy. I can only imagine that Sugiura is playing the spider and the fly…

“Black or white, this is a league.” (Hi69) 

The NOAH Juniors, despite being divided over Junior Global League, are all gunning for Kotaro Suzuki (Hitoshi Kumano says that he is going to “crush the beat so no sound comes out”). Kotaro Suzuki has dismissed even the freelancers amongst the NOAH Juniors as being “weak”.

The biggest build so far is Daisuke Harada vs Kotaro Suzuki, which will take place in Yokohama (Suzuki has already lost to the other “elder” of the Juniors, Hajime Ohara). Daisuke Harada in Kochi, delivered the message to Suzuki that he would beat him down, and then he would “tell you this”…Harada spoke silently to the camera and walked off. Kotaro Suzuki later said that he had no idea what he was saying, but would find out before they faced each other.

Suzuki has made unflattering comments about various NOAH juniors, Hitsohi Kumano is “heavy” and “bulging with fat”, and Tadasuke, due to “too much hair treatment” is “greasy”.

Kotaro Suzuki, known for being just as “slippery” as Tadasuke (maybe even more) has promised something special for his “vision of Korakuen” (he also posted a picture of himself and Yoshinari Ogawa out drinking and said they were “discussing strategy”), well, whatever he has planned, it is probably a lot better than what Tadasuke has promised, he says that he may have to “poison the rice of the winning candidates” if he doesn’t win.

Suzuki and Harada clashed in a tag match on the 18th September on the last day of tour with Harada getting in his face with the belt, and Suzuki playing the innocent after attacking him while standing on the ring apron.

There has been no rift between The Backbreakers, with Hitoshi Kumano defeating Hajime Ohara. Kumano said he had to win, even though Ohara’s neck was very bad.
Part of his reasons for wanting to beat Ohara was due to the comments made by Daisuke Harada when he was aiming for the GHC Junior Heavyweight championship a few months ago, Harada had basically said that Kumano was “below Ohara” or that he was his “subordinate”.

Between RATELS, Daisuke Harada is too busy to comment on Tadasuke beating him, and YO-HEY and HAYATA still appear to be friends (better description might be master and pet).

Junta Miyawaki is still to get his first win, but the boy has earned a lot of accolades with people praising him and saying he was “insanely good” in his matches. NOAH are really teasing his first win with many near pinfalls.  He has also been likened to a young Kenta Kobashi, which means that now in NOAH we have almost the Four Pillars for a new generation with Misawa (Kiyomiya) and Kawada (Kenoh) – now we just need a Taue.

NOAH have had very good attendances out in the provinces for this tour, not all venues have been sold out, but attendances have been very high. The promotion has a policy whereby they travel outside of the metropolitan areas (i.e. Tokyo, Osaka) and the big city areas and bring the show to the “provinces” (i.e. the countryside or the more rural areas on the edge of the suburbs). While this doesn’t always result in a full house (something a lot of people don’t seem to understand and they think its a reflection on NOAH ), what it does do is bring a company who unlike New Japan, All Japan, Big Japan etc doesn’t have a streaming service and\or a TV show, to people who wouldn’t see them otherwise. They have also attracted a lot of new fans too.

Global Junior League Scores (as of 18th September 2018)
YO-HEY: 7
Ikuto Hidaka: 6
Daisuke Harada: 6
Kotaro Suzuki: 6
Hitoshi Kumano: 4
Tadasuke: 4
Hi69: 4
Minoru Tanaka: 4
HAYATA: 3
Hajime Ohara: 2
Seiya Morohashi: 2
Junta Miyawaki: 0

NOAH are back on the 29th September at Radiant Hall, Yokohama, bell sounds at 17.30

NEWS

QUIET STORM CELEBRATES 20 YEARS
Quiet Storm has celebrated his own twenty years in wrestling on the 16th September, he debuted in 1998 (about a month after Naomichi Marufuji did) at roughly the age of seventeen, and while in America had spells with Ring of Honor, PWF and NYWC. Quiet Storm made his debut in his hometown of New York (he’s a Brooklyn boy I think). He came to Japan and trained with KAIENTAI DOJO, but had to return home due to a family situation. Aside from NOAH, his other affiliation is with Osaka Pro. He has been with NOAH since 2014.

His tag team partner, Mohammed Yone, presented him with flowers in the ring.

GHC BELT NEWS

Current champions

  • GHC Heavyweight Champion: Takashi Sugiura
  • GHC Junior Champion: Daisuke Harada
  • GHC Heavyweight Tag Champions: Naomichi Marufuji & Akitoshi Saito
  • GHC Junior Tag Champions: Minoru Tanaka & Hi69

OTHER NEWS

Atsushi Kotoge will be holding his own fan event, further details to be announced (this is not a produce)

Comedy wrestler Kikutaro (who returned to Japan to have ear surgery), announced that before he leaves for America, he wants to appear in NOAH(he was once a regular in SEM, where he memorably teamed with KENTA, who had him thrown out of the building afterwards, Kikutaro made his way back in though), and a match has been arranged against Atsushi Kotoge for the 4th October at Korakuen Hall. Kotoge has asked Kikutaro whether he wants to join the “Revolutionary Army”. What should be a very funny match, will be broadcast on Samurai on the 11th October (FYI: Fuji TV no longer exists, it is now “ForJoyTV“)

Naomichi Marufuji and Doug Williams will be having what will be their last match ever in IPW on Sunday the 23rd September. Their history was made not in NOAH or even in Japan, but in Europe. You can read about their history in an article I have written, “Farewell Europe

Hajime Ohara, (who quite rightly is called “NOAH’s treasure”), has taken part in more municipal activities in Kawasawki by lecturing the Staff Hygiene Committee about exercise that can be done at the office and at home.

Thanks to Metal-Noah who very kindly sent me a copy of “Heir to The Ark”, Naomichi Marufuji’s biography, English translation has started, and can be found here. This is a work in progress, and I hope to update it daily. The book is ranked #3 on the Japanese book charts. TOUR TIDBITS

  • Tadasuke used a chair on Seiya Morohashi (which is unusual for him).
  • Whilst in Shikoku, a big crab turned up on Hi69’s cigarette packet (its probably HAYATA shape-shifting)
  • The ceiling was so low in Hakata Stalene that people’s feet and heads grazed it.
  • Naomichi Marufuji watched “the youngsters” going off together after NOAH arrived in Kochi, and said “the old man is going to bed”
  • Tadasuke announced to Kotaro Suzuki “Hey, Fool! I am today’s NOAH Junior!” (and Kotaro Suzuki beat him down in ten minutes with the Tiger Driver)
  • Naomichi Marufuji wrapped Yoshiki Inamura in Atsushi Kotoge’s cloak, and forced him to do the “Revolution Pose”, right in front of Kotoge.
  • YO-HEY’S rambling promos include him having all his teeth knocked out (he hasn’t), and likening himself to a 16th century Japanese warlord, a champion stallion racehorse which was put out to stud (don’t ask) and then forgetting what he was talking about. He is still convinced that he will be facing Yoshiki Inamura in the finals of Global Junior League, despite the fact that Inamura isn’t in Global Junior League.
  • Yoshinari Ogawa took Atsushi Kotoge’s cape and used it to wipe his boots, much to Kotoge’s horror.
  • Ehime Pro did an opening exhibition at Noah’s show at TEXPORT Imbari
  • Yoshiki Inamura getting good reviews.
  • Go Shiozaki went to shake hands with Kotoge, but Kotoge drew his hand back, wiped his head and walked off (Shiozaki, notorious for giggling, couldn’t keep a straight face)
  • NOAH have had a crack down on people filming at the event, Atsushi Kotoge said “Heroes obey the rules”.
  • Masao Inoue is holding another bowling event, wrestlers participating will be Atsushi Kotoge, Kaito Kiyomiya and Tadasuke
  • On September 17th, Atsushi Kotoge, Kenoh, Katsuhiko Nakajima and Masa Kitamiya went to a sports bar and spent until the early hours watching classic Four Pillars era All Japan (the match Kotoge photographed on the TV was Mitsuharu Misawa vs Kenta Kobashi on the 21st October 1997. When this match took place, Kotoge and Kenoh would have been 12, Kitamiya 14 and Nakajima 9).
  • Cody Hall and Maybach Taniguchi now have a finisher called “The Hooligans Bomb”.

  • On the long drive back from Tottori to Tokyo, (about nine to eleven hours), Takashi Sugiura photographed Masao Inoue at the urinal (twice), and then predictably, things got even worse when Marufuji filmed Inoue eating an ice cream on the bus, and then pausing to look briefly at a passing woman. Between Marufuji and Sugiura, this turned into Inoue thinking about “licking” women…

Lets just end this newsletter here until next week.


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