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Mitchell’s WWE Monday Night Raw Report! (2/5/18)

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All images courtesy of the WWE’s official Twitter.

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Fourth Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Roman Reigns VS Bray Wyatt; Reigns wins and enters the Elimination Chamber match.
  • Finn Balor w/ The Balor Club VS Dash Wilder w/ Scott Dawson; rescheduled as…
  • Finn Balor & Karl Anderson w/ Luke Gallows VS The Revival; Balor Club wins.
  • Cedric Alexander & Mustafa Ali VS Drew Gulak & Tony Nese; Alexander & Ali win.
  • Asuka VS Bayley; Asuka wins.
  • Fifth Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: The Miz w/ The Miztourage VS Apollo Crews w/ Titus Worldwide; Miz wins and will enter the Elimination Chamber match.
  • WWE Raw Tag Team Championships: The Bar VS Seth Rollins & Jason Jordan; changed into…
  • WWE Raw Tag Team Championships: The Bar VS Seth Rollins & Roman Reigns; The Bar wins by disqualification, and retain the Raw Tag Team Championships.
  • Nia Jax VS Vanessa Floyd; Nia wins.
  • Sonya Deville w/ Absolution VS Mickie James; Mickie wins.
  • Triple Threat: Braun Strowman VS John Cena VS Elias; Elias wins and will officially enter the Elimination Chamber last.

PLAY BY PLAY

Bray Wyatt speaks.

“The Elimination Chamber is upon us!” Last year, Bray Wyatt won the WWE Championship in the match, and now he wishes to repeat. The only person in his way is his arch-nemesis, Roman Reigns! Roman has fallen so far that no one recognizes him. But Bray does. Roman lost the Royal Rumble, he lost the Intercontinental Championship yet he fakes his bravado. Bray knows the truth: Roman is a failure simply waiting to be “put out of his misery.” Bray will happily oblige. Tonight, the bottom of Roman’s spiral “holds something far worse than failure: me.”

Roman Reigns responds.

He’s some failure? Roman knows what failure really is: someone who can’t deal with adversity. He’s ahd his share of ups and downs but he’s no failure, that’s “them ark of a great journey.” ROman’s journey runs through the Chamber and “smashes into Suplex City”! Bray can’t stop Roman, the Chamber can’t stop Roman, and not even Brock Lesnar can stop Roman from becoming Universal Champion.

 

Fourth Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Roman Reigns VS Bray Wyatt!

Raw starts off with a major match as the Big Dog and the Eater of Worlds tie up once more! Which man will add another notch in this resurrected rivalry on their trip down the Road to Wrestlemania?

The bell rings and the two familiar foes circle. They tie up, and Bray powers Roman to a corner. He lets go and dares Roman to come at him. Roman runs out, they tie up again but Bray knees low to wrap on a headlock. Roman powers out then pursues to run Bray over with a shoulder. The fans have mixed reactions while Roman brings Bray up into his own headlock. Bray fights out and powers out, but misses in the corner, to lean back in his spider-walk.

“You are no match for me, Roman Reigns!” Bray boots Roman and hops up but Roman rocks him with an uppercut. Roman hauls Bray off the top rope in the fireman’s carry but Bray fights out. Bray dodges Roman to send him into the post! He then drags Roman back out, and rocks him with forearms. Cover, TWO, but Bray is not deterred. WOKEN Hardy watches from his secret location as Bray wraps Roman in a chinlock. The fans are mixed, but there are plenty rallying for Roman. The fans duel “Let’s go, Roman!” “Roman sucks!” Roman gets to his feet and fights back with body shots. Bray shoves him but Roman runs him over with lariats as he begins to rally. Bray reverses the whip but Roman hits him with the leaping lariat! Roman watches Bray roll out of the ring, so he goes out the other side and comes around the corner, Drive-By intercepted by the lariat! Then Bray throws Roman into steel steps before we go to break.

Raw returns and Bray stalks Roman before driving a knee into his back and stretching him back. Bray grows impatient with Roman’s endurance.

Roman starts getting back up while the fans continue to duel and Hardy continues to watch backstage. Roman gets Bray in the fireman’s carry and Samoan Drop! Both men are down and a ten count begins. Bray rolls while Roman sits up. Roman finds Bray in the corner and gives him the close-range clotheslines. Bray stops him short, lifts but Roman elbows out. They speed up, Bray runs Roman over with the body check! TWO! Bray keeps on Roman with a corner clothesline of his own, then hoists him up to the top rope. He climbs up and prepares a superplex, but Roman holds on! Roman uses his strength to pry his way out, then hit back with right hands. Bray staggers down but comes back with a chop. He climbs back up, and says “Anyone but you, Roman.” Roman revives and headbutts away on Bray! Roman then slips down and brings Bray out, sit-out powerbomb!

TWO! The two are down again and the referee checks on them. They’re both okay to continue, and Roman drags himself towards a corner. Roman stands up and the fans both cheer and jeer as he locks and loads. SUPER- Yurinagi counter! Back senton, too, TWO! Bray grows further frustrated, but also further manic as he laughs while pulling at his hair. The fans cheer “Let’s go Bray!” while he drags Roman up. He wants it but Roman rolls out of Sister Abigail, TWO, SUPERMAN PUNCH! Cover, TWO! Roman is too tired to be frustrated, he instead focuses on the Wrestlemania sign. Roman gets up and to a corner, the fans fire up both ways while he lets out the howl. He runs but Bray boots him away, SISTER ABIGAIL! TWO!! Bray is laughingly shocked at his old foe.

The fans declare “This is Awesome!” while Bray grins at Roman before unleashing hammering forearms to the back of Roman’s head. Bray drags Roman around and then to his feet. He wants a second one, but Roman revives to power out! He headbutts Bray, then ducks to SPEAR! Roman wins and is headed to The Elimination Chamber! With four spots filled, who will be the final two men to enter for a chance at The Beast?

WOKEN Hardy appears from nowhere!

And he wants to “DELETE! DELETE!” the Consumer of Terrestrial Entities! Bray knows he is there, and turns around, into a TWIST OF FATE! The Great War is far from over, who shall be the victorious being once it is finished?

 

Seth Rollins and Jason Jordan talk backstage.

The Architect asks how The Gold-Blooded Son feels. Is he even anywhere close to 100%? They have a rematch but it is the last time against The Bar. Rollins doesn’t want Jordan repeating their loss at Royal Rumble. Jordan says he’s ready, the doctors say he’s ready, so don’t worry. Rollins knows this isn’t about either individual but about them as a team. They vow to take back the Raw Tag Team Championships, can they do it?

 

Finn Balor w/ The Balor Club VS Dash Wilder w/ Scott Dawson!

The Extraordinary Man faces one of the #TopGuys 1v1, but Dash & Dawson have something to say on the way to the ring.

“In case you haven’t been paying attention”, ever since their return, this is The Revival. As such, these two are “tag team specialists”. Wherever one goes the other goes, so instead of just a singles, let’s make it a tag team match. Finn just has to choose one of his “Club Buddies” to tag in so The Revival can show them how it’s done. The Balor Club talks it over and Finn seems fine with either choice. The Good Brothers decide on The Machine Gun, and we have a new match made.

Finn Balor & Karl Anderson w/ Luke Gallows VS The Revival!

The bell rings and Anderson starts for The Balor Club while Dash starts for the #TopGuys. They tie up, Dash tags Dawson but Anderson gets away from their little trap. The Revival talk strategy for a moment before circling with Anderson. They tie up, Dawson puts Anderson in a corner. The break is a bit rough, and Dawson hits low with that forearm. He puts Anderson back in the corner to chop and hammer away, then whips. Anderson reverses then goes to hip toss but Dawson counters. Dawson puts on a headlock but Anderson powers out, only fro Dawson to run him over. Things speed up, Anderson arm-drags and elbows Dawson down, then does the same to Dash. Finn comes in, double whip and double body drops! The Revival bail out while The Balor Club Too Sweets, and we go to break.

Raw returns to see The Revival have turned it around and isolate Finn with an armlock. The fans rally and Finn gets to his feet. He pushes Dawson back but Dawson uses his tights to pull Finn to The Revival’s corner. Even so, Finn fights back against them both. Dawson misses and Finn throws him out. Finn crawls but Dash gets Dawson in so he can tag Dash, and then Dash pounces on Finn. He hauls Finn all the way back to his corner, then tags Dawson back in. The Revival mug Finn in the corner, focused on that arm. Dawson wrenches the arm then brings him down in a Fujiwara armbar while the fans rally.

Finn gets up and reaches for Anderson, but trips up Dawson and hits the double stomps! Dawson tags Dash back in but Finn gets the tag to Anderson! Anderson rallies, Dash reverses the whip but Anderson shotgun kicks Dash down. He also takes Dawson out before dodging Dash and giving him a jump kick! Anderson hops up, and jumps for a big neckbreaker! The fans fire up for The Machine Gun, he brings Dash up but Dash slips out. Anderson shoves Dash to ropes but Dawson holds onto his partner to save him from Anderson’s dropkick. Dawson tags in now, but Anderson is ready with the spinebuster! Dash breaks the cover, but Anderson clotheslines him out. He boots Dawson then tags Finn before giving a slingshot senton to Dash! Finn rallies on Dawson with a Slingblade, then the blasting dropkick! Dawson is in position and Finn climbs up, COUP DE GRACE! Balor Club wins! The #TopGuys bit off more than they could chew with this top team, will the next #1 contenders to the Raw Tag Team titles be #TooSweet?

 

Sasha Banks watches her loss from last week’s Raw.

The Boss had the Empress in her submission hold, only for Asuka to turn it around into hers. Sasha tapped, Asuka’s streak continues. Bayley comes in to tell Sasha to stop being so hard on herself. But the moment she stops being hard on herself, Sasha is no longer Sasha. She was so close to ending The Streak! Sasha is still the Boss, and she knows how. Bayley is going tonight, so can she get some hints? No offense, but Sasha keeps her tricks to herself. That’s fine. The Elimination Chamber is also every woman for herself, like the Rumble. Sasha did what she had to then, and she’ll do it again, if she’s in the Chamber. Then Sasha can go to Wrestlemania to end Asuka’s Streak. Bayley was thinking the same thing, but for herself. She thinks she can end The Streak? Bayley knows she can beat Sasha. And if Sasha thinks she’s good enough beat Asuka, then Bayley is, too. The two friends are getting a bit chippy, can their friendship survive making history?

 

Cedric Alexander & Mustafa Ali VS Drew Gulak & Tony Nese!

Cruiserweights have action on Raw as the Carolina Kid & Pakistani Prince take on “Team PowerPoint”, the Cruiserweight Crusader and the Premier Athlete. Meanwhile, the inaugural 205 Live GM, “Rockstar Spud” Drake Maverick joins commentary and is happy to represent “the most exciting show on the WWE Network”!

The bell rings and it is Ali and Nese to start. They tie up, Nese knees low then rocks Ali with a left forearm. Nese then throws Ali into a corner and unloads with body shots. He then backs off to flex and count his eight-pack before whipping Ali corner to corner. Ali goes up and over, speeds things up, and hits a big running headscissors!

Tag to Alexander, they both whip Nese, Alexander dropkicks Nese’s legs out to set Nese up for Ali’s own baseball slide dropkick. Nese rolls out to the apron, Alexander drags him back up only to get a hotshot! Alexander staggers, Nese runs him over with an elbow! Cover, ONE, so Nese tags in Gulak. Gulak runs and double ax handles Alexander down, cover, ONE again. Gulak drags Alexander up and tags Nese back in. Alexander is put on the apron, Nese hoists him up and hangs him up to straddle the top rope. Gulak runs side to side and clobbers Alexander off the top! Nese covers, Ali breaks it up, so Nese puts Alexander in a body scissors hold. Ali rallies the fans, but Gulak shouts at them to stop chanting and cheering. Alexander endures the squeeze and fights his way out, but Nese is right back on him. Nese puts him in a corner, Alexander boots out and reaches for Ali, but Nese comes back in. Nese’s kick is blocked and countered with the back elbow! Both men are down, but Alexander is crawling for his corner. Nese heads towards his, hot tags to Gulak and Ali! Ali rallies on his familiar old foe, and flapjack dropkicks Gulak down!

The fans fire up with Ali, but Gulak reverses the whip. Ali slides to a stop then elbows Gulak back, before hitting a flying tornado DDT! Nese breaks the pin! He goes after Ali, but Alexander dumps Nese out. ALexander builds speed and FLIES! Ali gets up to the top rope, and flies onto Gulak. Rol through, TWO, big clothesline from Gulak! Alexander tags in, springboards for the lariat! The fans fire up again while Alexander hits Lumbar Check! Alexander & Ali win! They won together as a team tonight, but they’re all competing for the Cruiserweight Championship. They eye the prize, but who will get to hold it come Wrestlemania?

 

Raw General Manager, Kurt Angle, heads to the ring.

The Olympic Gold Medalist and Hall of Famer is greeted with the usual and jovial “You Suck!” He explains that while history was made with the inaugural Women’s Rumble match, and that it was incredible given Raw’s own Asuka won it all, there will be more history made. Alexa Bliss will defend her Raw Women’s Championship in the inaugural Women’s Elimination Chamber match. He will now officially announce which five women will join Alexa. First, the Huggable Bayley! Then, Absolution’s Mandy Rose! The Six Time Women’s Champion, Mickie James! Absolution’s Sonya Deville! And… The Boss, Sasha Banks!

Yes, Nia Jax is not in the Chamber match, but she will have her own match at the Chamber PPV, against Asuka! We all know Asuka will face Alexa Bliss at Wrestlemania, but Nia Jax could win her way into that match to make it a Triple Threat! That said, The Goddess herself heads to the ring, and she looks very upset.

Alexa must put a stop to this. Angle is being “unjust” to her. How dare he use the Women’s (R)Evolution as part of this. This is against company policy! The Women’s Evolution is that the expectations are the same, that they are equal. Angle knows that is the policy. Then why is it that the Women’s Chamber Match, it is for the title while the Men’s Chamber Match isn’t? Does Lesnar just get to sit on the sideline? Why can’t Alexa get that privilege? The fans seem to agree. Is it because Alexa is a woman? First of all, Lesnar defended his title at the Royal Rumble while Alexa didn’t have to! She defended all the way back in October. Well she doesn’t make the matches. Why is he treating the men and women differently? Does he value Lesnar more than Alexa? Is he being sexist?!

Angle didn’t think to compare the two. His job as Raw GM is to put on the best matches. She might be trying to weasel her way out of this, but he’ll ask the audience’s opinion. Does the WWE Universe want Alexa to defend her title in this inaugural Women’s Chamber match? “YES!!” Alexa doesn’t care about the “sheep”, she demands respect! She then storms off, without another word towards the Chamber Match. Angle double checks, does the WWE Universe want to see a Women’s Chamber title match? “YES!!” The votes are in, can Alexa change this before it’s too late?

 

John Cena speaks.

The Road to Wrestlemania needs a plan to get there. Cena won his way into the Chamber, but now he can win his way to being last into the Chamber, against the Monster Among Men and The Drifter in a “match with no rules.” That’s easy!

 

Asuka VS Bayley!

The Empress of Tomorrow is still undefeated, but The Huggable One feels confident she can change that. Will history be made just weeks before the Elimination Chamber?

The bell rings and this NXT rivalry begins again. They circle, and Bayley stays away from Asuka as best she can. Bayley then tries to go after Asuka but Asuka kicks her in the leg. Asuka grabs Bayley in a facelock and floats over to a chinlock. Bayley slips out and around to a hammerlock to ground Asuka. Asuka spins around and stands up to reverse into an armlock. Bayley reverses back to a headlock, but Asuka powers out. They collide, but Asuka just gets in Bayley’s face. Bayley shoves and hits Asuka, Asuka fires back. Asuka gets the waistlock and a swinging takedown, but Bayley reverses to a side headlock. Asuka fights back and powers out again, but Bayely goes up and over. She tries a hip toss but Asuka counters with her own hip toss, then kicks away on Bayley. Asuka whips Bayley but Bayley reverses, Asuka hops up but Bayley forearms her down and out! The Empress is down but the Hugger recovers. Bayley takes aim, wrecking ball dropkick turns into a flying headscissors to throw Asuka! She puts Asuka back into the ring, but Asuka comes back with a big running hip attack! Bayley goes down and Asuka goes out to fetch her, but Bayley throws her into barriers! Both women are down while we go to break.

Raw returns to find Bayley squeezing Asuka in a grounded bearhug. Asuka gets up to her feet while fans rally, and fights her way out of the hold. She throws Bayley to ropes, then runs for the hip attack but Bayley blocks and hits a saido suplex, TWO! Bayley keeps on Asuka with stomps and punches, covers again, TWO. Now Bayley drops elbows on Asuka’s back, and returns to the bearhug. The fans continue to rally while Asuka fights out and hits back with elbows. Asuka whips but Bayley reverses, Asuka holds ropes to knee Bayley away. Bayley runs back in, for the pop-up knee! Asuka kicks away on Bayley then fires up for the low hip attack.

She keeps going, sliding knee strike, cover, TWO! Bayley and Asuka get up, Asuka goes to the top rope. She takes aim, but Bayley dodges the missile dropkick! Bayley runs and knees Asuka down, cover, TWO! She drags Asuka up and throws her to the apron, wanting the hotshot but Asuka wraps on her Asuka Lock! Bayley flails, and still hits the hotshot on Asuka, dropping the Empress to the ground. Now Bayley gets to the apron, and jumps at Asuka, to take that knee to the face! Asuka brings Bayley up and in, then covers, TWO! Asuka gets up and kicks Bayley in the chest again and again. Bayley blocks one, jackknife cover, TWO! Asuka lights Bayley up with several strikes, but Bayley ducks. Bayley2Belly blocked, Asuka gets around Bayley for the Asuka Lock’s chickenwing! Bayley reaches for ropes, rolls back, TWO!! But then she runs into the armbar!

Bayley endures, reaches, but Asuka straightens it out, Bayley taps! Asuka wins again!

They both stand up now, and Asuka offers a handshake. Bayley looks at Asuka, and accepts. There is much respect between these two, even after such a tough match. Can The Empress tough it out again when she faces the Irresistible Force at the Elimination Chamber PPV?

 

The Bar speaks.

Sheamus & Cesaro defend their Raw Tag Team Championships against Rollins & Jordan. They get to beat up the Pretty Boy & The Daddy’s Boy again! There was no resemblance of team work at the Rumble, so tonight they’ll kick off Rollins’ and Jordan’s heads again!

 

Fifth Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: The Miz w/ The Miztourage VS Apollo Crews w/ Titus Worldwide!

The Hollywood A-Lister has his Intercontinental Championship back, but he wants even more of the spotlight. “When my hand goes up, your mouths go shut!” And tonight, he encourages the fans to look at the night sky, because the stars will look a lot like him. The stars are aligning to make 2018 the Year of The Miz. Just look at the evidence! He returned at #Raw25 and defeated Roman Reigns. It was the highest rated Raw in three years, and it was thanks to Miz! Then the next Raw, Miz defeated Roman again to retain the title! Roman is a world-class athlete and one of WWE’s best, yet not even he could contend with Miz’s momentum. And here’s some “insider information”, as the Super Bowl 52 winning Eagles were inspired by The Miz! “But the best is yet to come”, as Miz vows to qualify here tonight to then win the Chamber, and then face the “reigning, defending, undisputed Universal Champion”, Brock Lesnar. Wrestlemania will not only plug his new show, Miz & Mrs., but his newborn daughter will see him become the first ever Universal and Intercontinental Champion!

Raw returns to find this match already in action. Apollo holds Miz up in a vertical suplex, and then finally drop him after several seconds. Cover, TWO, but Crews is not deterred. Miz shoves him to a corner, but Crews boots back and hops up for a jumping sunset flip. TWO, Miz stacks, ONE, and they go back and forth with seated pins. Crews rolls Miz again, TWO! Jackknife cover, TWO! Miz swings but then scrambles to ropes to avoid getting hit. Crews yanks him back in and knocks him down with a spinning elbow, TWO! Miz gets to the apron, Crews brings him up but gets a hotshot. The fans cheer Miz as he takes his time getting up on the top rope. He jumps, but Crews dropkicks him out of the air!

TWO! Crews keeps going, but Miz reverses the whip and rocks Crews with a kitchen sink knee. Miz catches his breath, runs, but into the trophy lift! Crews drops Miz, standing moonsault but into Miz’s knees! Cover, TWO, but Miz puts Crews in a body scissors squeeze. Titus and Dana rally the fans for Crews, Miz shifts but Crews gets up and fights back. Crews whips Miz but Miz reverses again, Crews rocks Miz with a shotgun dropkick! Both men are down, but the fans and Titus Worldwide rally again. Crews and Miz get up, Crews mule kicks then running boots, before bringing Miz down with a leaping lariat! He enziguris Miz down now, covers, TWO! Crews keeps moving, dragging Miz up. Miz escapes the lift, then side steps Crews to get to the other corner. He runs in corner to corner, but that A-List clothesline is blocked and countered with a belly2belly!

Standing moonsault then standing shooting star! TWO, and Crews is shocked! The early celebration is cancelled while Miz crawls to ropes. Crews gets himself up while Bo check on his boss. He grabs Miz but the ropebreak gives Miz an opening to kick him in the knee. Finale countered by Crews into a roll-up, TWO! Miz whips Crews, Crews tries to go up and over but gets hung up on the top rope. Skull Crushing Finale! Miz wins and qualifies! The first step has been taken, can Miz complete his checklist to make history?

 

Seth Rollins finds Jordan, Angle and a medic backstage.

What’s going on? Jordan is sorry, but he’s not allowed to compete tonight. He was warming up and something felt off, so now he’s not cleared to compete. Rollins gets upset, and Jordan apologizes, but what do we do about the match? There doesn’t seem to be any other option than to cancel. Unless, Roman steps up?

Angle allows it, and the match is on, the true Shield boys challenge for tag team gold!

 

WWE Raw Tag Team Championships: The Bar VS Seth Rollins & Roman Reigns!

The Celtic Gladiator & Swiss Cyborg were expecting a “Daddy’s Boy” but now they’re getting the Big Dog! Roman and Rollins held WWE tag team gold together in the past, can they obtain new tag gold tonight?

The Architect starts against Sheamus and the two circle with the bell. Sheamus gets the headlock takeover but Rollins gets the headscissor counter. They separate and go again, Sheamus getting another headlock. Iowa is behind Rollins as he powers out but gets run over. Sheamus embraces the heat, but things speed up, Rollins tackles Sheamus and punches away. Rollins wrenches Sheamus’ arm but Sheamus gets away when he sees they’re headed to the Shield corner. Tag to Cesaro, he and Rollins tie up. Cesaro gets the arm wrench and wristlock, but Rollins rolls and spins to reverse the hold onto Cesaor. Cesaro knees low and hits Rollins with a stiff European Uppercut. Tag to Sheamus, The Bar stomps a mudhole into Rollins, then tag back to Cesaro. They give Super Saiyan kicks to drop Rollins, and Cesaro talks trash despite the mouth piece. Rollins ducks the whip and tags in Roman, they double whip Cesaro and shoulder him down. Cover, ONE, but Roman keeps Cesaro back. Roman yanks the arm, then tags Rollins back in, they double whip Cesaro and mock The Bar thumbs, and even copy the double mule kicks. Cover, TWO, but Rollins keeps Cesaro from Sheamus. Rollins rocks Cesrao with haymakers and a chop, then tags Roman back in, for the assisted forearm smash and feed to a boot! Sheamus runs in but into an uppercut, Rollins clotheslines him out! Lock and load, then DIVE onto Sheamus, but into the Irish Curse backbreaker! Cesaro EuroUppers Roman then throws him out before tagging Sheamus. Sheamus throws Roman into barriers, The Bar has control while we go to break.

Raw return and Cesaro has Roman in a facelock. Iowa wants Rollins back in, but Sheamus tags in first to rock Roman with right hands. Cesaro gets a cheap shot in, which upsets Rollins on the other side. Sheamus drives his knees in and then wraps Roman in a chinlock. Roman endures the squeeze, fans rally and he gets to his feet. He reaches for Rollins but Sheamus steers him the other way. Tag to Cesaro, The Bar knocks Roman down with the Bar Lariat, cover, TWO! Cesaro keeps on Roman, choking him on the ropes. Sheamus gets a cheap shot knee in, then the pop-up EuroUpper!

Rollins breaks the pin, but Sheamus drags him out to knock him down. Roman gets up and dodges Cesaro to give him close-range clotheslines! Sheamus stops him but gets rocked with an uppercut, Cesaro rolls up, TWO! Sheamus tags in just before Roman clotheslines Cesaro out, then rocks Roman with a hotshot and stiff knee. Tag back to Cesaro, The Bar brings Roman up, A-Swiss-ted White Noise! TWO! The Bar is shocked, that move usually finishes teams. Cesaro brings Roman up again, he wants the Neutralizer. Roman revives to Samoan Drop Cesaro instead! The fans fire up as Rollins returns to his corner! Roman and Cesaro crawl, hot tag to Sheamus, and Sheamus knocks Rollins down. SUPERMAN PUNCH knocks Sheamus down! Sheamus and Roman crawl, but Jordan appears?! He’s not part of the match, but he helps Rollins up and over.

Now both corners have someone to tag, hot tag to Cesaro AND Rollins! Rollins rallies on The Bar, flying blockbuster for Cesaro! He keeps going, to DIVE onto Sheamus! Then he slingshots for a guillotine legdrop on Cesaro, and with Des Moines thunderous, he runs again to DIVE on Cesaro and send him into the crowd! Rollins gets Cesaro back in, Slingblade, TWO! The Architect doesn’t slow down, he just keeps his eyes on Cesaro, but Cesaro dodges the stomp! He puts Rollins top rope and rocks him with a EuroUpper. Rollins boots him away, tornado snap suplex and roll through to Falcon Arrow! TWO! Both men are down, and the fans declare “This is Awesome!” Sheamus distracts, Cesaro thumbs the eyes, but Jordan trips Cearo up. Rollisn rolls up, TWO, mule kick! SHeamus breaks this pin, but Jordan keeps rallying for Rollins. Roman revives and tells Jordan he can go now. “We got this!”

Jordan starts leaving, Rollins hits Cesaro with the Kingslayer knee, then SUPERKICKS Sheamus! Tag to Roman, and though there’s no Ambrose, they set up the Shield Bomb! However, Cesaro grabs Sheamus and The Bar decides to run for it. The Bar has their belts, but Jordan blocks their path. He and The Bar get antsy, Jordan punches Cesaro!? This disqualifies the match!! Rollins and Roman are furious, and Jordan only now realizes what he’s done. The Bar retain the titles, and laugh all the way to the stage. The fans tell Jordan “You Suck!” because that was the last chance for Rollins to challenge The Bar. A fatal error by Jordan costs his side the gold, is there any possible way he can make this up to the Shield boys?

 

Braun Strowman speaks.

The Monster Among Men was the Last Man Standing against The Big Red Machine. And tonight, he’ll be the last man standing in the Triple Threat. At Elimination Chamber, he’ll be the last man standing. And at Wrestlemania against Brock Lesnar one more time, he’ll be the last man standing as the new Universal Champion! Cena and Elias better get ready to #GetTheseHands, because nothing will stop Strowman on the Road to Wrestlemania.

Rollins reprimands Jordan backstage.

Jordan never listens and never learns. Why was he out there? Jordan was trying to help! Angle keeps the peace, but Rollins gets angrier. The only thing Rollins is sorry about is not hurting Jordan himself. Rollins storms off and Angle tells Jordan to go home to recover. Jordan doesn’t want people to talk to him that way, but Angle gets mad and shouts for Jordan to go home. When will this tension explode into more than just an argument?

 

Nia Jax VS Vanessa Floyd!

The Irresistible Force and Brutal Beauty may not be in the inaugural Women’s Elimination Chamber, but seeing as how she’s #NotLikeMostGirls, she’s content to challenge Asuka’s Streak and even face her and Alexa Bliss at Wrestlemania. As for Vanessa in the snake skin tights, Nia simply toys with her. She puts Vanessa in a corner, but then Vanessa fights out. She runs, and dropkicks Nia, but Nia uses that to add momentum to her body check! Nia wont’ let Vanessa upstage her, she throws Vanessa around and then squashes her in a corner. Then another big toss, and even the trophy lift press and drop. Nia ends it with the leg drop, Nia wins!

In-ring interview with Nia.

Congratulations, but also how does she feel about going up against Asuka for a chance to join the Raw Women’s Championship match? “Asuka, I’m the only woman in the locker room that does not fear you.” The one woman Asuka can’t beat. Nia promises to mess Asuka’s face up so that she’ll have to permanently wear that mask. And then, the Empress of Tomorrow will be the Empress of Yesterday. She didn’t break a sweat tonight, how hard will Nia have to work to defeat Asuka and break the streak?

 

Sonya Deville w/ Absolution VS Mickie James!

The Gladiator Gal has the Glampire and Golden Flower by her side, and will even have Mandy Rose in the Chamber match. Can she gain momentum off #KickieJames before they all meet in the “Every Woman For Herself” environment?

The bell rings, and Sonya circles with Mickie. She shoots in and gets the waistlock takedown, Paige declares “This is OUR House!” Sonya gets another takedown, but Mickie pries her way to the ropes. The break is a bit disrespectful, so Mickie slaps Sonya across the face! Sonya gets mad and pushes Mickie to a corner and both woman gets scrappy with the other. Mickie backs Sonya down, big Thesz Press! Mickie kicks away, then runs to run Sonya over. Cover, ONE, but Mickie keeps her cool. Sonya shoves her away, but Mickie comes back, cravat and knees to a snapmare. Mickie runs, and boots Sonya down. Cover, TWO, and Sonya keeps checking her nose. Mickie kicks away, then whips Sonya but Sonya reverses. Sonya runs in but into Mickie’s back elbow. Mickie hops up, Mandy distracts, Sonya throws Mickie down. The referee checks on Mickie, but Absolution protests this is getting in the way. Sonya hammers away on Mickie then drags her up for stiff kicks. Mickie pushes Sonya away but gets more kicks and even knees from Sonya. Absolution cheers Sonya on, but Des Moines has mixed reactions. Mickie tries to fight back but Sonya just knocks her back down, cover, TWO. Sonya takes her time with Mickie now, daring her to do something. Sonya then runs and knocks Mickie down with a knee, cover, TWO. Paige coaches Sonya to keep going, and Sonya hammers with haymakers. Mickie hits back, but Sonya simply knocks her down again. More knees from Sonya, but Mickie rolls her, Mickie wins!! Paige sicks Mandy on Mickie, and Absolution stomps Mickie out. But it’s Alexa Bliss to the rescue? She drags Mickie out of the pack, and then to the back, but Mickie says she’s just getting started. Absolution seems as confused as anyone, but in the end, Alexa made the save. Is there a change in The Goddess’s ways?

 

“Ladies and Gentlemen: Elias.”

The Drifter has come to Des Moines and plays his guitar. And as always, “Who Wants to Walk with Elias?!” He gets a strong response from “a no name town like this.” This is his first time here, because he usually just flies over it looking for better. But Elias has made it to the Chamber, and he will “solidify” himself as the last entrant. He will then “give you the greatest performance of a lifetime” at Wrestlemania. All things WWE will soon be his, because it stands for “Walk With Elias!” Elias chose not to perform at the Super Bowl so that he could be in “this god-forsaken wasteland”, big mistake. Even so, Elias has a song, all for himself. “Strowman’s not a monster. He’s just a man.” Fans boo, and Elias stops. Shut your mouths so he can focus! He starts again, but the fans boo and jeer even harder. “I’m gonna win the Chamber, then I move on to Brock. Brock should fear Elias, because with me he’ll walk.” Cena makes his entrance, and for once all the fans are happy!

Triple Threat: Braun Strowman VS John Cena VS Elias!

Mathematically speaking, the last person into a match like the Elimination Chamber wins, so the winner here will all but stamp his ticket to Wrestlemania! Who will gain a huge advantage going into that huge #1 contender’s match?

The bell rings, and Elias gets right out of the ring to let Cena take care of Strowman. Or, perhaps vice-versa. Cena unleashes hands but then runs into Strowman’s boot! Elias stays far away and we go to break.

Raw returns one more time, and we see that while Cena is down, Elias has reentered. However, Elias runs right back out of the ring, only for Strowman to pursue! Elias leads Strowman back into the ring, Cena lifts Strowman but collapses underneath. Strowman covers, Elias returns but Strowman grabs him around the throat!

Strowman backs Elias into a corner, then throws him across the way! Elias gets up, and gets clothesline’d out by Strowman. Cena escapes the ring as well, but Strowman exits the ring to walk over to where Cena and Elias have ended up. Strowman brings Elias up to simply headbutt him back down, then he brings Cena up for a headbutt of his own. The Drifter is put back in the ring, then The Face that Runs the Place. They both see Strowman climbing back up and in, and go at him together! The unlikely allies are pushed back, but Cena runs back in to hit Strowman with a shoulder tackle. Elias follows and hits Strowman with a big knee strike, and then together they clothesline Strowman out of the ring! They rush The Monster, throwing him into a post! Strowman leans against the barrier, Elias and Cena throw him back into the post. They keep on the staggered Strowman, throwing him into steel steps! Strowman is finally off his feet, but Cena grabs the steps. He smacks them off of Strowman, but Strowman stays up. Cena grabs the base steps while Elias grabs his guitar, SMASHING it across Strowman’s back! Cena lifts Strowman with all his might, for an AA onto the steps!

But then Elias pounces on Cena, and puts him in the ring. TWO, but Elias stomps Cena and rains down rights. He covers again, TWO. Elias keeps his cool, knowing Strowman is still down. The fans duel, “Let’s go Cena!” “Cena Sucks!” Cena fights back with haymakers, but Elias hits a spin-out backbreaker, cover, TWO! Elias grows frustrated, but he keeps calm with Strowman still down on the outside. He brings Cena up and knocks him down again with a right, then wraps on a chinlock. Cena endures the squeeze while fans continue to duel. The fans rally, Cena slowly makes his way to his feet, only to be brought back down. Cena tries again, and gets to his feet. He powers out of the hold and blocks the kick to then start rallying with his shoulder tackles. He hits Elias with the spin-out powerbomb, and the fans know what that means. “You Can’t Se Mee!” Cena runs, but Strowman returns and scoops him, POWERSLAM! Then he scoops Elias but Elias throws him out, covers Cena, Elias wins!!

The Drifter doesn’t celebrate for long, though, because Strowman returns to punish him with a powerslam! The fans want “One More Time!” but the Monster Among Men goes to leave. Kidding! He’s going to give the fans what they want: another powerslam on Cena!

But the fans aren’t satisfied just yet, and neither is Strowman. He picks Elias up again, for Elias’ second powerslam! Well, everything comes in threes, so Cena receives a third powerslam! Elias tries to retreat, but he gets caught, and he gets a third powerslam!

The Monster Among Men may not be entering last, but will anyone keep him from being the last to leave?

 

My Thoughts:

This was definitely a more energetic Raw than usual. It opens with well-welcomed short promos that shift right into the opening match. It was rather obvious that Roman-Bray was going to put Roman in the Chamber, given it was Roman and Bray, but the match in and of itself was solid work. WOKEN Hardy appearing to get a bit of revenge on Bray was also obvious but still fun. I actually liked that The Revival declined having a singles match in favor of having a tag team match, as they are clearly 100% dedicated to tag team wrestling. Of course, it backfires on them as they end up against Balor & Anderson, one being a great singles wrestler and the other a touted tag team specialist in his own right. The Balor Club is racking up wins, I wonder if they could challenge for the Raw Tag Team Titles at Chamber or Wrestlemania. The Good Brothers VS The Bar has already been teased here and there and could be a very physical match. The Cruiserweight tag team match was also good, as it definitely worked to highlight the best parts of the Cruiserweight Division. While everyone in the Division is focused on THE Cruiserweight Championship, I hope this tag team match at least gets someone to consider opening them up to the Raw Tag Team Division so that there are more teams to use.

I’m definitely intrigued in the developments in the Raw Women’s Division. Bayley and Asuka come full circle as they have a great match, that Asuka of course wins, but then ends with Asuka showing Bayley the utmost respect with the handshake. The most interesting part is how this contrasts with Asuka VS Sasha, and how Sasha and Bayley are starting to get a bit chippy with each other, such as in their conversation backstage. They’re both in the Chamber, as Angle announced, so that might be the perfect setting for Sasha to finally turn completely Heel. Alexa Bliss protesting was both a fitting Heel reaction and a fitting issue to point out. There are a lot of real-world reasons as to why Lesnar isn’t in the Chamber and Alexa is, and Angle does well to point out a good kayfabe reason to counter. As for Alexa bailing Mickie out when Absolution is beating her down, I don’t take that so much as a Face Turn but a way back into Mickie’s good graces so that they can stick together against Absolution in the Chamber.

Now, Anti-Roman fans may have been irked by Roman trying for the Raw Tag Team Championships with Rollins, but everyone had to know that it wasn’t so much to put Roman over as to grow the rift between Rollins and Jordan and set us up for their coming feud. And I must say, it was all done brilliantly here tonight, with Jordan “accidentally” costing Rollins the titles and Rollins wanting to kick in his head. It won’t take much at this point to have them go after each other, and then we get a feud that can go right into ‘Mania. Miz VS Crews was great, Apollo continues to show those old flashes of potential but there’s nothing wrong with him losing to Miz, who is on that great of a roll that WWE is at least teasing the possibility of him being a historic dual champion. Strowman VS Cena VS Elias was a great triple threat, and a great stipulation. “Cena Wins LOL” is in fact the reason Cena doesn’t win, and then it would make the Chamber match too easy for Strowman if he won, so Elias as the purest Heel of the three gets the honor of going in last. However, with Elias going in last, I already see that as him coming in as the fresh and confident Heel to simply add more to the battered Face’s triumph. Or in other words, add to Roman’s triumph since that still feels like Vince’s go-to ‘Mania match. That all aside, Strowman continues to be a delight as he gives the people what they want, in the form of his overwhelming strength.

My score: 8.5/10


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Joe’s CMLL Results & Review (9/17/2018)

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CMLL Arena Puebla Show Monday

El Asturiano and Black Tiger vs Espiritu Maligno and Fuerza Chicana

Maligno and Asturiano start out the match exchanging arm drags. Maligno is bare foot so Asturiano while having him in a hold bites his feet. Not very hygienical. Tiger and Chicana make their way in trading holds. Tags are made briefly and they pick up the pace but Chicana and Tiger come back in soon after to continue the faster pace. Maligno misses a splash and Tiger gets him in a surfboard stretch for the submission, then Asturiano pins Chicana with a hurricanrana pin combo. First Fall: El Asturiano pins Fuerza Chicana with a hurricanrana.

Black Tiger hits a monkey flip on Maligno to start the round and then hits a pose. Asturiano and Chicana are in to follow. He ends up feigning a dive to the outside. Maligno and Chicana start to get heat on the other team by double teaming both guys when they get the chance. Malingo hits a baseball slide to Asturiano in the corner and then they get both of them in submissions. Some elaborate stretches. Second Fall: Espiritu Maligno submits El Asturiano with a submission hold.

Third round starts with Asturiano being double teamed. Maligno hits a drop kick on him sending him out bringing in Black Tiger to get doubled. All four are in the ring now exchanging chops. Maligno gets Asturiano in a Gory Guerrero special into a pinning combination for the pin. The Chicana gets Black Tiger in a single leg boston crab for the win. Third Fall: Fuerza Chicana submits Black Tiger with a single leg boston crab.

Winners: Espiritu Maligno and Fuerza Chicana

Oro Jr, Super Astro Jr, and Tigre Rojo Jr vs King Rocker Jr, El Malayo, and King Jaguar

King Jaguar and Oro Jr start off with some chain wrestling, exchanging holds. They meet a stale mate and King Rocker come in and continue to exchange holds and chain wrestle. Tigre Rojo and Malayo come in and pick up the pace. Malayo gets Rojo in the corner to get an advantage on him, but it doesn’t work out. Oro Jr and Rojo hit a combo neck breaker on Malayo. Super Astro hits him with a dive for a pin. Tigre Rojo gets King Jaguar in an arm bar for the first fall. First Fall: Tigre Rojo Jr submits King Jaguar with an arm bar.

King Rocker starts the second fall with Oro jr and Oro gets him to the outside and then hits a pose. Astro comes in there next with Malayo. Astro gets him to the outside and then feigns a dive and hits an elaborate pose. After that Rojo and Jaguar come in and he too gets Jaguar to the outside and feigns a dive. Finally Rocker and Malayo are working over Tigre Rojo. Once they dispose of him they start to triple team Astro Jr. Jaguar hits a big baseball slide dive on Astro. Oro Jr gets hit with a basement drop kick to the hit by King Rocker for the second fall. Second Fall: King Rocker pins Oro Jr with a basement drop kick.

Oro and Rocker start out in the third round. This becomes a triple team attack soon. It doesn’t last for long and Oro Jr, Astro, and Rojo go for dives but they get dodged and then it becomes a brawl. They exchange spots and go for pins that get broken up. Astro hits a top rope headbutt on Malayo and pins him. Oro hits a power slam on Rocker and then Tigre and him do a double team move where Rojo flips Oro onto Rocker for the pin. Third Fall: Oro pins Rocker while being flipped by Tigre Rojo.

Winners: Oro Jr, Super Astro Jr, and Tigre Rojo Jr

Guerrero Maya, Fuego, and Stigma vs El Sagrado, Misterioso, and Tiger

Interesting note, the Arena Puebla is called Temple of Pain in translation. They should do Lucha Underground out of here. Maya and Misterioso start out in the match, and as they exchange holds and perform some mat wrestling, I’d like to point out how hype Fuego’s entrance is. After they go to a stale mate Sagrado and Stigma come in. They don’t last long and Fuego and Tiger get in there and pick up the pace.

Tiger irish whips Fuego into his corner and this causes his teammates to come in and triple team Fuego for a moment. Fuego’s teammates come in to confront. Fuego makes a come back and gets Tiger to the outside and then a brawl breaks out on the outside. After that Maya starts to get triple teamed. Misterioso hits a weak drop kick bringing Maya to the outside then hits a pose, but Fuego rolls him up. First Fall: Fuego rolls up Misterioso.

The second round is started with Stigma getting triple teamed. After they dispose of Stigma to the outside, Maya comes in to try his hand but the numbers are too much. El Sagrado hits an elbow drop for the second fall. Second Fall: El Sagrado hits an elbow drop on Guerrero Maya for the pin.

Maya starts the fall getting triple teamed but made a come back by hitting everyone with a tilt-a-Whirl back breaker. After that Stigma and Fuego came and hit middle rope dives. They all start to exchange spots now, one at a time. Fuego hits his matrix bridge spot and then hits a dive. Stigma hits a big hurricanrana on Misterioso. Tiger and Stigma start to exchange chops.

Eventually Tiger hits a big power bomb. Fuego hits a big victory roll on Misterioso and the ref takes forever to go for the count and Sagrado breaks it up. Misterioso hits a reverse power slam and Fuego breaks up the pin and then he hits a big dive. Stigma hits a pinning combination on on Sagrado and Maya hits a spring board, shoulder block on Tiger for the win. Third Fall: Guerrero Maya hits a shoulder block on Tiger for the win.

Winners: Guerrero Maya, Fuego, and Stigma

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Joe’s AAA Results & Review (9/21/2018)

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AAA Twitch Tapings 9/21

Mini Psycho Clown and Mascarita Sagrada vs Cocoa Armarillo and Espectrito

So we have an unannounced mini match so I’ll do my best. Mini Clown hits a dive on Cocoa to start. They’re brawling on the outside. Mini Psycho Clown is the AAA mini’s championship. Mini Psycho is being double teamed. Mini Clown starts to make his come back getting Espectrito out of there while running wild on Cocoa. After Espectrito breaks up a pin they’re back to doubling Mini Psycho Clown. Cocoa goes for a poetry in motion type move and misses. Mascarita goes to the top and hits a hurricanrana on Espectrito. Mini Psycho Clown is actually pretty impressive. He hits a springboard dive to the outside on Cocoa. Mascarita gets Espectrito in a victory roll for the win. Mascarita Sagrada pins Espectrito with a victory roll for the win.

Winners: Mini Psycho Clown and Mascarita Sagrada.

Keyra, Lady Maravilla, and Starfire vs Faby Apache, La Hiedra, and Lady Shani

Keyra starts with La Hiedra and Keyra starts off quick hitting a moonsault for a pin that Shani broke up. Shani drags her around the ring into a pinning combination that’s broken up by Lady Maravilla. Maravilla goes for a top rope arm drag which Shani blocks. She gets her in the corner and then hits a boot to the corner. Shani goes for a pin but Maravilla slips out, then gets Shani against the ropes and hits a drop kick. Attempting another move, she’s blocked by Apache who hits her with a big shot. Starfire hits an arm drag on Apache from the top. Apache counters the next move with a drop toe hold then a leg drop. Crowd is very much behind Apache.

Keyra gets Apache out of there, then they triple team La Hiedra until she rolls out leaving Shani in there. They hit a double spine buster on her and then starfire hits double knees from the top. Shani reverses a move and hits a back stabber. La Hiedra hits a stunner on Maravilla and Hiedra, Shani, and Apache are left in the ring. Shani calls out to Keyra to face her. Keyra obliges. Shani hits a northern lights suplex which is broken up at 2 by Maravilla. Starfire gets in with Hiedra and hits a fisherman suplex but Apache breaks in up. She gets starfire in a pinning combination. Keyra breaks it up.

Keyra hits a front faced tiger driver on Apache but it’s broken up. Starfire and Maravilla hit dives on Shani and Hiedra taking them out leaving Keyra and Apache in the ring. Keyra gets the advantage with a drop kick to the corner. Apache reverses her next move in a torture rack but Keyra reverses that into a pinning combination for the victory. Keyra pins Faby Apache with a roll up.

Keyra grabs the mic after the match. She challenges Apache for the title. Starfire then does the same. Faby accepts and the match is set up for October 28th. On the official card there will be a surprise female in that match. Konnan said he’s talking to a bunch of women. My guess is Scarlett Bordeaux. My speculation.

Winners: Keyra, Lady Maravilla, and Starfire

Emperador Azteca, Demus, and Ciclon Ramierz vs Aerostar, Argenis, and Nino Hamburguesa

As always I will call Nino Hamburguesa Hamburger Boy. It’s easier that way. I just hope I’ll be able to keep up with this match. Match starts with Aerostar and Argenis hitting huge dives and Hamburger boy hits a big shoulder block on Demus. Hamburger boy goes for a dive but Demus isn’t having it. Aerostar then hits a hurricanrana on him. Aerostar focuses on Azteca next and hits a big arm drag and then they stare each other down. Azteca reverses him, then hits a hurricanrana of his own. After a few sequences Azteca hits a step up enziguri on Aerostar and then dives over the ref onto Aerostar to the outside. This brings in Ramierz and Argenis. Ramierz goes for a spot which he messes up. In typically 2018 fashion they repeat the spot and he succeeds. Crowd notices of course.

Argenis hits a pop up cutter for a two count. Ramierz gets to the top and hits a big move on Argenis which Aerostar breaks up the count. Aerostar walks the ropes while Ramierz is stuck in the corner for a back stabber. Demus comes in to relieve Ramierz before Aerostar could go for the pin. Demus rips off Aerostars shirt and bites his.. nipples. Aerostar makes a come back hitting an elaborate head scissors, and then goes for a springboard attack but Demus moves. Demus hits a huge jay driller and Hamburger Boy stops the count late but the ref slowed it down before three. Hamburger boy gets the better of Demus which brings Azteca in. He uses his speed to his advantage and hits a code breaker on Hamburger boy in the corner.

Argenis comes in and gets both Azteca and Demus in the corner. Hamburger boy then hits a rolling senton on them. They go for another but they rolled out of the ring. Aerostar then hit a big dive on Demus while Argenis hit a moonsault to the outside on Azteca. Ramierz runs at Hamburger boy and he back drops him to the outside onto everyone. Then Hamburger boy does a middle rope senton on everyone. After the chaos Ramierz is let in the ring with Argenis. Argenis hits a pentagon driver for a close two count. He goes up to the top after but Ramierz is up to follow him and hits a flipping head scissors from the top for the win. Ciclon Ramierz pins Argenis with a top rope flipping head scissors.

Winners: Emperador Azteca, Demus, and Ciclon Ramierz

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(NOAH) WEEKLY NEWSLETTER VOL.2 ~ 21ST SEPTEMBER 2018

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CURRENT TOUR RECAP

NOAH finished up their mammoth five day in a row event (14th September to the 18th September), fortunately no-one was injured, but both Hajime Ohara (neck) and Hi69 (knee) seem to be carrying injuries.

After losing the GHC Heavyweight Tag Title challenge against Naomichi Marufuji and Akitoshi Saito, Kaito Kiyomiya intimated that he would be interested in challenging for them again, but with another partner (i.e. Go Shiozaki). Shiozaki was seen watching Kaito Kiyomiya in the tag match against 50 Funky Powers in Hakata Stalene. Later in the tour he mentioned on Twitter about “shutting them up” and their GHC Heavyweight Tag Challenge

.Speaking of Go Shiozaki there was a very sweet moment that took place in Hakata, involving both himself and Atsushi Kotoge. When they made their entrance in their match against The Hooligans (Cody Hall and Maybach Taniguchi), a little boy could be seen dressed in a homemade “Revolutionary Cloak”. When Kotoge appeared the little boy and the little girl next to him (most probably his sister), did the revolutionary fist pumps (to the delight of Kotoge who joined in), and when he had gone, Shiozaki noticed, did it for half a second, and then went bright red (Shiozaki gets very shy when he has to do physical comedy, he also has a tendency to start giggling as well when others do it).
During the match, the brawl went into the crowd, and a little girl was upset by it and started crying. Go Shiozaki, gave her a hug to comfort her, and once back in the ring got The Hooligans in the corner, pointed to her and said “this is for you”, and proceeded to chop them.

Despite his claim to “bring the revolution to Hakata, and defeat the villains!”, Atsushi Kotoge took the Zwei Bomb from Taniguchi.

Naomichi Marufuji is still not accepting the challenge of The Hooligans, and gave a somewhat bad tempered promo in Ehime saying they were “a fool, a baldie” and “even though I am an asshole with a lack of sleep, I am going to crush you all. Come and line up with your heads bowed. I am not going to accept your challenge! I’m not in the mood!” Marufuji is still being obsessively hated by Kenoh, and he certainly has taken it from him on this tour, but the person the five days really belongs to, is Katsuhiko Nakajima, who utterly obliterated Takashi Sugiura and did the cocky pin on him. I don’t think anyone has ever at any time or anywhere ever done this…

Nakajima, being Nakajima, wasn’t finished there as he draped the belt over him, and then threw Sugiura out of the ring. When Sugiura had recovered and scraped himself off of the floor, Nakajima had gotten the microphone, and standing on the turnbuckle he told him that he would continue to plague him like he did today, he would plague him again tomorrow and the day after that and forever afterwards.

At the end of the five day tour, having been thoroughly battered by Nakajima, Takashi Sugiura said tiredly he couldn’t keep up and says that he has had no choice but to get better, and rethink his strategy. I can only imagine that Sugiura is playing the spider and the fly…

“Black or white, this is a league.” (Hi69) 

The NOAH Juniors, despite being divided over Junior Global League, are all gunning for Kotaro Suzuki (Hitoshi Kumano says that he is going to “crush the beat so no sound comes out”). Kotaro Suzuki has dismissed even the freelancers amongst the NOAH Juniors as being “weak”.

The biggest build so far is Daisuke Harada vs Kotaro Suzuki, which will take place in Yokohama (Suzuki has already lost to the other “elder” of the Juniors, Hajime Ohara). Daisuke Harada in Kochi, delivered the message to Suzuki that he would beat him down, and then he would “tell you this”…Harada spoke silently to the camera and walked off. Kotaro Suzuki later said that he had no idea what he was saying, but would find out before they faced each other.

Suzuki has made unflattering comments about various NOAH juniors, Hitsohi Kumano is “heavy” and “bulging with fat”, and Tadasuke, due to “too much hair treatment” is “greasy”.

Kotaro Suzuki, known for being just as “slippery” as Tadasuke (maybe even more) has promised something special for his “vision of Korakuen” (he also posted a picture of himself and Yoshinari Ogawa out drinking and said they were “discussing strategy”), well, whatever he has planned, it is probably a lot better than what Tadasuke has promised, he says that he may have to “poison the rice of the winning candidates” if he doesn’t win.

Suzuki and Harada clashed in a tag match on the 18th September on the last day of tour with Harada getting in his face with the belt, and Suzuki playing the innocent after attacking him while standing on the ring apron.

There has been no rift between The Backbreakers, with Hitoshi Kumano defeating Hajime Ohara. Kumano said he had to win, even though Ohara’s neck was very bad.
Part of his reasons for wanting to beat Ohara was due to the comments made by Daisuke Harada when he was aiming for the GHC Junior Heavyweight championship a few months ago, Harada had basically said that Kumano was “below Ohara” or that he was his “subordinate”.

Between RATELS, Daisuke Harada is too busy to comment on Tadasuke beating him, and YO-HEY and HAYATA still appear to be friends (better description might be master and pet).

Junta Miyawaki is still to get his first win, but the boy has earned a lot of accolades with people praising him and saying he was “insanely good” in his matches. NOAH are really teasing his first win with many near pinfalls.  He has also been likened to a young Kenta Kobashi, which means that now in NOAH we have almost the Four Pillars for a new generation with Misawa (Kiyomiya) and Kawada (Kenoh) – now we just need a Taue.

NOAH have had very good attendances out in the provinces for this tour, not all venues have been sold out, but attendances have been very high. The promotion has a policy whereby they travel outside of the metropolitan areas (i.e. Tokyo, Osaka) and the big city areas and bring the show to the “provinces” (i.e. the countryside or the more rural areas on the edge of the suburbs). While this doesn’t always result in a full house (something a lot of people don’t seem to understand and they think its a reflection on NOAH ), what it does do is bring a company who unlike New Japan, All Japan, Big Japan etc doesn’t have a streaming service and\or a TV show, to people who wouldn’t see them otherwise. They have also attracted a lot of new fans too.

Global Junior League Scores (as of 18th September 2018)
YO-HEY: 7
Ikuto Hidaka: 6
Daisuke Harada: 6
Kotaro Suzuki: 6
Hitoshi Kumano: 4
Tadasuke: 4
Hi69: 4
Minoru Tanaka: 4
HAYATA: 3
Hajime Ohara: 2
Seiya Morohashi: 2
Junta Miyawaki: 0

NOAH are back on the 29th September at Radiant Hall, Yokohama, bell sounds at 17.30

NEWS

QUIET STORM CELEBRATES 20 YEARS
Quiet Storm has celebrated his own twenty years in wrestling on the 16th September, he debuted in 1998 (about a month after Naomichi Marufuji did) at roughly the age of seventeen, and while in America had spells with Ring of Honor, PWF and NYWC. Quiet Storm made his debut in his hometown of New York (he’s a Brooklyn boy I think). He came to Japan and trained with KAIENTAI DOJO, but had to return home due to a family situation. Aside from NOAH, his other affiliation is with Osaka Pro. He has been with NOAH since 2014.

His tag team partner, Mohammed Yone, presented him with flowers in the ring.

GHC BELT NEWS

Current champions

  • GHC Heavyweight Champion: Takashi Sugiura
  • GHC Junior Champion: Daisuke Harada
  • GHC Heavyweight Tag Champions: Naomichi Marufuji & Akitoshi Saito
  • GHC Junior Tag Champions: Minoru Tanaka & Hi69

OTHER NEWS

Atsushi Kotoge will be holding his own fan event, further details to be announced (this is not a produce)

Comedy wrestler Kikutaro (who returned to Japan to have ear surgery), announced that before he leaves for America, he wants to appear in NOAH(he was once a regular in SEM, where he memorably teamed with KENTA, who had him thrown out of the building afterwards, Kikutaro made his way back in though), and a match has been arranged against Atsushi Kotoge for the 4th October at Korakuen Hall. Kotoge has asked Kikutaro whether he wants to join the “Revolutionary Army”. What should be a very funny match, will be broadcast on Samurai on the 11th October (FYI: Fuji TV no longer exists, it is now “ForJoyTV“)

Naomichi Marufuji and Doug Williams will be having what will be their last match ever in IPW on Sunday the 23rd September. Their history was made not in NOAH or even in Japan, but in Europe. You can read about their history in an article I have written, “Farewell Europe

Hajime Ohara, (who quite rightly is called “NOAH’s treasure”), has taken part in more municipal activities in Kawasawki by lecturing the Staff Hygiene Committee about exercise that can be done at the office and at home.

Thanks to Metal-Noah who very kindly sent me a copy of “Heir to The Ark”, Naomichi Marufuji’s biography, English translation has started, and can be found here. This is a work in progress, and I hope to update it daily. The book is ranked #3 on the Japanese book charts. TOUR TIDBITS

  • Tadasuke used a chair on Seiya Morohashi (which is unusual for him).
  • Whilst in Shikoku, a big crab turned up on Hi69’s cigarette packet (its probably HAYATA shape-shifting)
  • The ceiling was so low in Hakata Stalene that people’s feet and heads grazed it.
  • Naomichi Marufuji watched “the youngsters” going off together after NOAH arrived in Kochi, and said “the old man is going to bed”
  • Tadasuke announced to Kotaro Suzuki “Hey, Fool! I am today’s NOAH Junior!” (and Kotaro Suzuki beat him down in ten minutes with the Tiger Driver)
  • Naomichi Marufuji wrapped Yoshiki Inamura in Atsushi Kotoge’s cloak, and forced him to do the “Revolution Pose”, right in front of Kotoge.
  • YO-HEY’S rambling promos include him having all his teeth knocked out (he hasn’t), and likening himself to a 16th century Japanese warlord, a champion stallion racehorse which was put out to stud (don’t ask) and then forgetting what he was talking about. He is still convinced that he will be facing Yoshiki Inamura in the finals of Global Junior League, despite the fact that Inamura isn’t in Global Junior League.
  • Yoshinari Ogawa took Atsushi Kotoge’s cape and used it to wipe his boots, much to Kotoge’s horror.
  • Ehime Pro did an opening exhibition at Noah’s show at TEXPORT Imbari
  • Yoshiki Inamura getting good reviews.
  • Go Shiozaki went to shake hands with Kotoge, but Kotoge drew his hand back, wiped his head and walked off (Shiozaki, notorious for giggling, couldn’t keep a straight face)
  • NOAH have had a crack down on people filming at the event, Atsushi Kotoge said “Heroes obey the rules”.
  • Masao Inoue is holding another bowling event, wrestlers participating will be Atsushi Kotoge, Kaito Kiyomiya and Tadasuke
  • On September 17th, Atsushi Kotoge, Kenoh, Katsuhiko Nakajima and Masa Kitamiya went to a sports bar and spent until the early hours watching classic Four Pillars era All Japan (the match Kotoge photographed on the TV was Mitsuharu Misawa vs Kenta Kobashi on the 21st October 1997. When this match took place, Kotoge and Kenoh would have been 12, Kitamiya 14 and Nakajima 9).
  • Cody Hall and Maybach Taniguchi now have a finisher called “The Hooligans Bomb”.

  • On the long drive back from Tottori to Tokyo, (about nine to eleven hours), Takashi Sugiura photographed Masao Inoue at the urinal (twice), and then predictably, things got even worse when Marufuji filmed Inoue eating an ice cream on the bus, and then pausing to look briefly at a passing woman. Between Marufuji and Sugiura, this turned into Inoue thinking about “licking” women…

Lets just end this newsletter here until next week.


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