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Mitchell’s WWE Monday Night Raw Live Report! (3/26/18)

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All images courtesy of the WWE’s official Twitter.

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Mickie James w/ Alexa Bliss VS Nia Jax; Nia wins.
  • Cedric Alexander & Mustafa Ali VS TJP & Drew Gulak; Alexander & Ali win.
  • Asuka VS Jamie Frost; Asuka wins.
  • Braun Strowman VS Sheamus w/ Cesaro; Strowman wins.
  • The Balor Club’s Good Brothers VS The Miztourage; The Balor Club wins.
  • Elias VS Rhyno w/ Heath Slater; Elias wins.
  • No Disqualifications: John Cena VS Kane; Cena wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

The Beast is in Cleveland!

Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman head to the ring just two weeks away from the Universal Championship match. That is, if Roman Reigns is healthy enough to challenge him. The Advocate introduces himself and says that days before “conquering the Grandest Stage of Them All”, the “reigning, defending, undisputed Universal Champion” is here seven days after the “savage beating” he put on his contender. Heyman may be one of the best speakers in pro-wrestling, not even he can put words to the “graphic footage” he shows us. It was last week that Roman Reigns defied the suspension ordered by Vince McMahon, and the authorities came to arrest him. Roman lashed out against them, but then Lesnar ambushed and assaulted Roman. Lesnar made sure his contender would need medical attention, and still laughs about it even now.

This is the part where news shows would say “Breaking News”, the suspension on Roman has been lifted. Therefore, for everyone’s beating hearts, someone might interrupt Heyman with music, and Roman will come out for a fight. But more “Breaking News” from Heyman: Roman Reigns is not here tonight. And those who think they know the script, Heyman can’t give credit to Lesnar, because Roman was raised by a WWE legend father and uncle, as well as all the other Samoan Dynasty relatives. They all raised Roman to be the Samoan Badass, the competitor and fighter and wrestler and winner! So it’s a shame they didn’t raise Roman to be a man. A man would still be here tonight, but Heyman and Lesnar aren’t the ones who said anything. Roman says he’s always here, advertised or not. But this time, he’s NOT, just weeks before Wrestlemania!

If things went the other way, Roman dressed MMA trainees up as Marshals and had them tie Lesnar up so Roman could beat him up to death, Lesnar would still be here, put the title down, and call Roman out! But Roman is NOT man enough to do it. Heyman doesn’t need proof for that, because Roman isn’t man enough to be here and take another beating. That is also why Roman won’t be man enough to take the title from BROCK LESNAR! Wait, someone is here, though. It’s ROMAN REIGNS!

The Big Dog and #1 contender makes his way to the ring, with a steel chair in hand, but Lesnar gets to him first! Lesnar drags Roman up, but Roman shoves him into a post! Roman picks that chair up again, and SMACKS Lesnar in the back, and SMACKS him again. Roman can barely keep himself up, but he still SMACKS Lesnar with the chair. Then, he LEAPS, but into a belly2belly suplex!

Lesnar shakes the dizzying stars out of his head, and then picks up steel steps. He aims at Roman, and SMASHES Roman in the face! Lesnar tosses the stairs into the ring, then drags Roman up into the ring, too. Lesnar fetches the chair, bent and dented as it is, and brings it with him. He enters the ring, holds up the stairs, and SMASHES Roman again!

The fans are a mix of cheers and jeers as Roman barely stirs on the mat. Lesnar has the chair again, and keeps the referees back before he SMACKS Roman again, and again, and again! Fans want “One More Time!” and Lesnar hits Roman one more time! Lesnar exits the ring and Heyman hands him the title back. Except Lesnar isn’t done yet. He returns to the ring, and brings Roman up again, for the F5 on the steps! Lesnar then stands over Roman and atop the steps, like a podium as he holds onto his Universal Championship. Will Lesnar finally finish Roman off once and for all at Wrestlemania?

 

Mickie James w/ Alexa Bliss VS Nia Jax!

After WWE’s Mean Girls got caught on camera laughing at the Irresistible Force, the Goddess and Kickie James were running for their lives. However, Raw General Manager, Kurt Angle, has made it so that Nia will get sweet revenge, with a Raw Women’s Championship match at Wrestlemania! Will the six time Women’s Champion even be a speed bump for Nia on her way to destroy Alexa?

The bell rings, and Mickie narrowly avoids Nia. They tie up, Nia shoves Mickie down. They circle and Nia throws Mickie sideways, so Mickie gets out of the ring. Nia waits for Mickie to return while we go to break.

Raw returns and Nia stomps away on Mickie in a corner. Then she throws her across the way, before throwing her back the other way. Mickie tries to escape but Nia is on her at the ropes, by her hair. Nia lets go at the ref’s count, Micke slaps Nia, but then runs away. Alexa distracts, Mickie pounces with a chop block and kick to Nia’s head. Mickie gets back in the ring and waits for the ring count, but Nia is up at 4 and in at 7. Mickie kicks her right away, but Nia shoves her back.

Nia ends up in a corner and Mickie keeps on kicking the legs. Nia throws Mickie down by her hair, but Mickie dropkicks the knee. Mickie tries for the DDT but Nia holds the ropes. Nia suddenly scoops and slams Mickie! She goes for the leg drop but Mickie dodges, to boot Nia down. Cover, TWO, another try, TWO again. Mickie clubs away on Nia but Nia powers out of teh DDT again. Nia runs at MIckie but misses, hitting buckles. Mickie kicks out the bad leg, then climbs up top. She kicks Nia away but Nia comes back to trophy lift and Samoan Drop Mickie! Cover, Nia wins!

Winner: Nia Jax, by pinfall

But then Alexa Bliss attacks! Not that it did much…

Alexa knows she messed that one up. Nia stands up and fans cheer her on, Nia chases Alexa out of the ring. Alexa gets away to the ramp, but Nia lets her that she won’t be able to run forever, because this is going to be settled at Wrestlemania, “you little b*tch!” Nia exits the ring and Alexa finishes running away. Will the Irresistible Force flatten the Goddess once and for all on the Grandest Stage of Them All?

 

Stephanie McMahon trains with husband, HHH, for their Wrestlemania tag team match.

“It’s unfortunate because it’s all about ego.” Ronda Rousey and Kurt Angle just had to do their jobs, but instead, Angle exposed The Authority’s ulterior motives. “Three years in the making and now we own the b*tch.” HHH says Angle was being an idiot, and that’s why it’s come to this. “This is the WWE. It’s not judo, it’s not MMA.” It’s The Authority’s world, not Rousey’s. Nothing was handed to them, they worked for everything. This training is life, and they do it better than anyone.

Joe DeFranco will confirm, The Authority are training 24/7, even when they’re not preparing for a match. Joe has prepared MMA fighters, NFL players and Olympic athletes. The Authority are up there and even exceeding those levels. Rousey is one of the world’s greatest, but Stephanie knows Rousey is vulnerable. Rousey enters the unknown. Professional wrestling has a different set of rules. Stephanie grew up in the ring, she owns the ring. Stephanie shouldn’t worry about Rousey, Rousey should worry about Stephanie. “No matter how good an athlete is, you step into somebody else’s world, you’re the underdog.” But Rousey’s arrogance will be Stephanie’s gift.

HHH and Angle have history, but now it hits a new level. Angle has lost to HHH before, so no big deal. But Rousey losing to an executive, that’ll be embarrassing. This is not the Olympics, not UFC or MMA, “this is our world. And nobody’s gonna come into our world and take us down.” The Authority isn’t afraid. Rousey will work for them. But this is just business, they’ll dust Rousey off and position her, to put things back on track. They promise to humble Rousey like all the other superstars, but will Rousey and Angle break that promise?

 

Cedric Alexander & Mustafa Ali VS TJP & Drew Gulak!

The Carolina Kid and the Pakistani Prince fought their way through the WWE Cruiserweight Championship Tournament on 205 Live and are both headed to Wrestlemania to face each other for that title. However, they’re still friends, so they’re willing to team up together tonight to face the FilAm Flash and Cruiserweight Crusader, two men they beat on their way to the finals. Can the two contenders work together to keep themselves fresh for their Wrestlemania moment?

Raw returns to this match in progress, with TJP holding Ali down in a chinlock. Ali stands up and fights out as we see 205 Live GM Drake Maverick has joined commentary.

TJP intercepts Ali, and hotshots him on the top rope to deny the tag! Cover, TWO, and TJP grows frustrated. He drags Ali up and over to scoop slam and slingshot senton on him. Gulak tags in, and TJP hands Ali off to him for the big scoop slam. Gulak covers, TWO, but Gulak just glares at Ali. Ali chops back, so Gulak chops, too. Gulak whips Ali corner to corner, then throws him with a back drop. Cover, TWO, but Gulak keeps on Ali. He wrenches Ali’s neck, so Alexander rallies the fans. Gulak scoops Ali but Ali slips out, so Gulak cheap shots Alexander. Gulak runs at Ali, Ali elbows him back, then hops up for the tornado DDT!

Both men are down, and Alexander slowly returns to his corner. They crawl for their corners, hot tags to TJP and Alexander! Alexander rallies on TJP, handspring headscissors and dropkick! The fans fire up for Alexander as he counters TJP with the back elbow. Alexander runs into  the corner but TJP puts him on the apron, so Alexander swing kicks TJP away. Springboard clothesline! Cover, Gulak breaks it just in time. Gulak grimaces as he stalks Alexander, but Ali uses TJP as a step stool to dropkick Gulak out of the ring! Then Ali builds speed to FLY onto Gulak! Alexander sees Ali, but TJP catches him with a roll up! TWO, but TJP lifts Alexander. Alexander slips out and handsprings, Ali tags in, Neuralizer to TJP! Then, Lumbar Check!

But Alexander realizes he’s not legal as Ali climbs up. 0-5-4! Ali & Alexander win!

Winners: Alexander & Ali, Ali pins

Alexander sees how sly his friend can be, but they both grin and laugh. Both men assure the other they’re ready for Wrestlemania and a golden moment, but will Alexander see Ali coming next time?

 

It’s Miz TV!

The Intercontinental Champion is greeted with “Welcome Home!” chants, but reminds us he lives in LA. Either way, The Miz brings us the “Most Must-See WWE Talk Show in History”, and before getting to his guests, he must address some personal issues. Miz likes to be open and honest, and asks the Miztourage how they feel this is going. Enjoying themselves? Good, because they should be. They’re on Monday Night Raw in front of thousands. That’s great, because Miz isn’t happy. One year ago, he brought them up to the spotlight, and how do they repay him? Failing him! If Miz wanted failure, he would’ve never left Cleveland! Miz can’t count on them. Axel says he can, but Miz reminds us that for the last two weeks, he’s been down because they let him down.

Bo says they’ve done everything they can. Then this is the best they can do? He should “Bolieve” himself back to catering, he is nothing without Miz! Seth Rollins interrupts the rant with his entrance.

Rollins normally isn’t a fan of Miz TV, but this is good stuff! He doesn’t want to interrupt, but he is a guest on the show. He’ll let them hash it out. Miz reprimands Rollins for appearing too soon. The argument is just something they’re sorting out. Rollins volunteers his help. He’ll be a mediator. To be honest, The Miztourage is underappreciated. When was the last time Miz looked them in the eyes and said, “Thank you” to them? Is Rollins kidding? No, Rollins would be thanking The Miztourage and putting up billboards to say “Thank You” because without them, Miz wouldn’t still be Intercontinental Champion! The fans should chant for the Miztourage. And they do.

“When my hand goes up, your mouths go shut!” Miz tells Rollins that the Miztourage know he’s grateful, but they should be grateful to him. Miz would be a champion, a star, a “phony A-Lister who can’t fight.” Whoa, did Bo just say that? Speak up, Bo. What did you say? Finn Balor comes out now.

Finn apologizes for another interruption, but he’s a guest here, too. Rollins helped Miz but now it seems Miz needs Finn’s help. What did Bo just say about Miz? Finn knows it’s hard to hear things in the ring, but Finn knows that Bo said Miz is the biggest jerk ever. Bo didn’t say “jerk”. Well alright, it wasn’t that, it was more loser or coward. No, Bo said he’s a phony. Uh oh… The fans agree to it, though! Miz dares Bo to say it again. Bo goes to, but Miz slaps him! Axel keeps Bo back, and Miz wants to see that fire! They’re weeks away from Wrestlemania but they’re letting Finn and Rollins manipulate them. Miz is just a month away from being the longest reigning Intercontinental Champion ever. He’ll be better than HBK, Macho Man, Mr. Perfect! Uh oh… Did Miz just bring up Axel’s dad?

Axel turns around to look at Miz, and Miz tries to apologize, it was a slip of the tongue. Rollins and Finn don’t think it was by mistake. Yes, it was! But let’s all just calm down, deep breath in… Deep breath out. The Miztourage doesn’t need this. Miz TV is now cancelled. “Yes! Yes!” The Miz wants to leave, but Bo & Axel won’t let him. Miz tries to apologize, but now he realizes he’s surrounded.

No one wants to see this! Yes they do! But then The Miztourage attack Rollins & Finn!? Miz grins, this must have been the plan all along. Miz rains rights on Finn while the Miztourage clear the ring. They add on to Finn, then drag him up, but here come the Good Brothers! Anderson & Gallows take care of the Miztourage, which leaves Miz alone. He goes after Finn, but misses, to take a Slingblade!

Rollins returns, but Miz dodges the Curb Stomp just in time. Rollins won’t let Miz think he’s smarter than the Architect. The champion will get what’s coming to him, but Finn is the one to pick up Miz’s belt. Rollins snatches it from him, and holds it up. Finn sees Miz coming and saves Rollins from him. Rollins clotheslines Miz back out of the ring, then Finn knocks Rollins down! Finn steps over Rollins to pick the belt up again. Will Finn also step over Rollins at ‘Mania to officially claim the title as his own?

 

Kane speaks.

“John Cena, there are some demons you should never call on by names.” They are demons that don’t want to be disturbed, that want to “Rest In Peace.” Cena will pay for his arrogance. He won’t go to Wrestlemania, he’ll go #StraighttoHell. Will Hellfire & Brimstone consume Cena before he even has a chance to face the Deadman?

 

Asuka VS Jamie Frost!

The Empress of Tomorrow challenges the Queen of Flair for her SmackDown Women’s Championship at Wrestlemania, but for now, she continues to grow her Streak on Raw. Will Asuka remain perfect all the way to the Grandest Stage of Them All?

Meanwhile, Jamie Frost is having her first professional match. No one is ready for Asuka, but no one has seen what Frost is capable of, so Asuka isn’t ready for her. The bell rings, and the two circle. Frost dodges Asuka’s opening move then fires off forearm after forearm, and a slap! Asuka grins, she like the moxie. Then she kicks the moxie out of Frost’s face! Cover, Asuka wins!

Winner: Asuka, by pinfall

Frost was over confident, but that doesn’t take anything away from the Empress’ power and severity. It won’t be that easy with Charlotte, but will Asuka still find a way to add her to the long list of women Asuka has defeated?

 

Raw takes a look back at ULTIMATE DELETION!

The Great War escalated to astronomical heights as the WOKEN Wisdom and the Consume of Terrestrial Entities did battle at the Hardy Compound. It concluded as Hardy pinned Wyatt, then disposed of him into the Lake of Reincarnation! With the Deletion a complete success, will the World Wrestling Entertainment Dimension ever see Bray Wyatt again?

WOKEN Hardy speaks.

“As a result of the Ultimate Deletion, the essence from the vessel known as Bray Wyatt is no more!” The evil stench has been replaced with the sweet smell of spring daisies. The Great War is finally OVA, but now Hardy sets his sights on Wrestlemania! He shall honor the Eighth Wonder of the World and win the battle royal. Those who oppose him shall suffer the same fate, of DELETION!! In other words, the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal will star Hardy among others, but who will be the one to come out the victor?

 

 

Raw takes a look at the frayed friendship of Bayley & Sasha Banks.

Between the Royal Rumble, the Elimination Chamber, and following tag team matches, the Hugger and the Boss are one step away from breaking up as best friends forever. Sasha finds Bayley backstage, having received her text. But that’s it? Yes, that’s it. Bayley is in the Women’s Battle Royal and that’s it. No talking about last week? What’s they’re to talk about? If Bayley ahs something to say, say something! Wait, didn’t Sasha like Bayley being passive? Where Sasha can do anything she wants and Bayley just goes with it. Sasha loves that, doesn’t she? Bayley is right, Sasha is the Boss, and makes no apologies. Maybe Bayley should stick up for herself so no one thinks she’s a loser. But Sasha only screws Bayley over because she can’t beat her. Sasha is a four-time Raw Women’s Champion. And how long did she keep it?

Sasha snaps and puts Bayley into the lockers, so Bayley fights back! Sasha throws Bayley into more lockers, then across a table. Referees come in just as Bayley turns the tables, but neither “friend” backs down. They’re eventually separated, but Sasha gets loose to go after Bayley again. The referees separate them again, but this is far from over.

 

Braun Strowman VS Sheamus w/ Cesaro!

The Monster Among Men still needs a tag team partner to face The Bar in a title match for the Raw Tag Team Championships, but he’s just find going it alone right now. Can the Celtic Gladiator hope to not #GetTheseHands this close to Wrestlemania?

Before the match, The Bar talk. Everyone thinks Strowman is so dominant just because he tips over trucks and brings down walls. But it’s more that he catches everyone off guard with his entrance of “BRAUN!!” The Bar has news for him: there will be no surprises, because they want to know who his tag team partner is right now. They come out week after week that they don’t just set the bar, they are the bar. But Strowman’s response to the “whiny babies” is that he’ll tell them who his partner is, if Sheamus can beat him. That’s not fair! Just tell them! The fans would rather see Sheamus “Get These Hands!” Strowman guarantees that’ll happen.

With the stakes stated, Sheamus prepares himself for this match. He enters the ring, the bell rings, but Cesaro distracts. Sheamus pounces on Strowman, throwing hands in a corner. He whips but Strowman reverses to then toss Sheamus across the way. Strowman runs but Sheamus dumps him out of the ring. Sheamus hotshots Strowman as he returns, then gives him a beat of the Bodhrain, only for Strowman to block and turn the Bodhrain around on Sheamus! Sheamus tumbles to the ground, but Strowman keeps on him. They return to the ring, but Sheamus rolls to the other side. Strowman runs and blasts Sheamus to the barriers!

The Monster is in control while we go to break.

Raw returns to Strowman stalking Sheamus. Sheamus begs for mercy but Cesaro distracts again. Sheamus tangles Strowman up in the ropes and kicks at the legs. Strowman falls to a knee but shoves Sheamus away. Sheamus kicks again and DDT’s Strowman down. He clobbers Strowman down, then works the arm over in the ropes. Strowman shoves Sheamus away but Sheamus bicycle boots the arm! Sheamus clubs away on that arm, then kicks out the leg. Fans rally for Strowman as Sheamus puts him in a keylock. Sheamus knees Strowman’s ribs but Strowman stands up and powers out. Strowman rallies with lariats, and Sheamus slips out of the ring. The Bar regroups, but Strowamn slips out to run Sheamus over!

Strowman whips Sheamus into barriers, then drags Sheamus up by his Mohawk to put him in the ring. Cesaro moves in close but Strowman backs him down. Strowman reenters the ring, but Sheamus dodges in the corner to send Strowman into the post! Sheamus climbs up, and flies for the clothesline. Cover, ONE, but Sheamus keeps on him with a kick to the ribs. Sheamus stomps and stomps, then Cesaro goes for a cheap shot, but the referee sees him. Strowman elbows Sheamus then punches Cesaro off the apron. Sheamus Brogues but misses, Strowman runs to squash him! Then, lift to scoop to Monster Slam! Cover, Strowman wins!

Winner: Strowman by pinfall

The Monster Among Men won’t have to answer The Bar, or anyone, on who his tag team partner will be, but does he really have one already? He has two weeks left just in case he doesn’t, who has the Monster allied with to go for tag team gold?

 

Raw General Manager, Kurt Angle, is here!

The Olympic Gold Medalist walks to the ring and Cleveland greets him with the classic, “You Suck! You Suck!” He reminds us that two weeks away from Wrestlemania is two weeks away from Stephanie & HHH standing across the way from him and “the baddest woman on the planet,” “Rowdy” Ronda Rousey! And Rousey is here!

Angle knows Wrestlemania is an intimidating stage to debut on, but he knows Rousey’s ready! And after seeing the video with HHH & Stephanie, he admits that The Authority do write the rules. Wrestlemania will be fun, but it won’t be easy. “Good. Because I didn’t come here looking for easy.” Rousey wants to earn things here. Stephanie can talk tough but she’s “trust fund tough”, “limousine tough”, and “personal trainer tough.” Stephanie will get what she deserves, which is Rousey ripping her arm out! But then Absolution appears!

Paige waves hi to Rousey before saying that the “one thing that will sabotage you in the WWE is not having friends.” Former introductions: this is Paige, and this is Absolution. They want to welcome her to Raw! But Raw is their show and Paige’s House. Paige steps in the ring with Rousey, Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville nearby. Rousey, you will get lost in the shuffle or taken advantage of. They’ll be there for her if she needs backup. What a nice offer, but she has an Olympic Gold Medalist, she’s good. Paige understands, but if she thinks Angle has her back–best GM ever!–but then you wouldn’t be an enemy to the Authority. This is career suicide. Rousey has the weight of the world, Paige has been there and done that. Rousey doesn’t have to be alone. She could be the fourth member of Absolution!

Fans say “No! No!” and Rousey looks to Angle. Rousey thanks Paige for the offer, but declines. Paige understands this is Rousey’s choice, but it’s not a good choice. Rousey could’ve had best friends, but now she has worst enemies. Sonya & Mandy step up, the mics are dropped, but while Angle keeps Mandy from hitting Rousey, Rousey hits Sonya!

Then she glares at Mandy, who tries but fails, and gets a saido suplex that sends her into Sonya! Rousey is ready for a fight, and Angle raises her hand in victory. However, Mandy comes back for more, to end up in a judo takedown and armlock! Mandy begs for mercy, and Angle calms Rousey down. Rousey is close to snapping Mandy’s arm, but spares her. The Baddest Woman on the Planet won’t have to stop at Wrestlemania, should Stephanie just give up now?

 

The Balor Club’s Good Brothers VS The Miztourage!

Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson won’t let Bo Dallas & Curt Axel get away with tricking Balor Club’s Extraordinary leader. Can the Director of Chaos and the Machine Gun teach these “NERDS” a lesson?

Raw returns with this match already in progress, and Axel has Anderson down before hitting Gallows with a cheap shot. Anderson knocks Axel down and rallies, before scaring off Bo. Anderson dodges Axel in the corner before hitting him with the rocket kick, then hops up on the second rope. Bo returns to distract and Axel shoves Anderson down. Bo tags in, then rains rights onto Anderson before ramming him into barriers. He puts Anderson back in the corner, covers, TWO, so Bo puts Anderson in a chinlock. Gallows rallies the fans, “Too Sweet! Too Sweet!” Anderson stands up but Bo wrangles him down, Axel mocks the Too Sweet. Anderson his way up while fans rally, but Axel tags in. The Miztourage keep Anderson away from Gallows, then Axel clubs Anderson across the back and neck.

Axel whips Anderson and dropkicks him down, and embraces the heat as he drags Anderson back over. Bo tags in, then clotheslines and knees Anderson, feeding him to Axel’s DDT. Bo covers, TWO, so it’s back to the chinlock. Anderson endures the squeeze while fans cheer, “Too Sweet!” Bo knees low but runs into a spinebuster! Anderson and Bo are down but crawling for their corners. Hot tags, and Gallows rallies on Axel. Gallows blasts Bo for good measure, then hits Axel in the corner with the splash, roundhouse rocks him down. Gallows fires up, pumphandles and slams Axel down, then the big splash! Tag to Anderson, the bring Axel up, fireman’s carry for the Boot o’ Doom! Cover, Bo breaks it!

Gallows drags Bo, Bo shoves him away, but Gallows hits the YAKUZA KICK! Axel kicks Anderson but Anderson resists the suplex. Axel forearms Anderson to a corner but Anderson European Uppercuts back. Anderson climbs up, takes aim, and hits the flying neckbreaker! Tag to Gallows, and they bring Axel up again, for Magic Killer! Cover, the Good Brothers win!

Winners: Balor Club (Anderson & Gallows, Gallows pins)

Anderson & Gallows keep themselves moving in the Raw Tag Team Division, will they be first in line to face whoever comes out of Wrestlemania the champions?

 

“Ladies and Gentlemen: Elias.”

The Drifter is in Cleveland, with his guitar, and as always, wants to know “Who wants to Walk with Elias?!” Cleveland responds positively. In the “Kingdom of Madness”, there are those who walk, and those who do not walk yet. However, Elias promises to give the greatest performance at Wrestlemania, and the world will know that WWE stands for, “Walk With Elias!” Elias feels electric, having sold out Madison Square Garden last week. Therefore, Cleveland is a huge disappointment. He’s embarrassed to be here, but he’s in good company because Lebron James admitted he felt the same way. But Elias promises Lebron will just leave again.

And while Elias doesn’t want to be here, he does have a song, so it’d be a travesty not to sing it. Please silence cell phones, hold applause and shut mouths so that he may begin. Elias strums, then sings, “Wrestlemania is on the horizon. But I’m stuck in this town. The only thing more embarrassing would be, if I was a Cleveland Brown.” Like, seriously, they’re bad. Wrestlemania’s nothing without Elias because he is WWE. But then Rhyno appears!

Elias VS Rhyno w/ Heath Slater!

The ManBeast doesn’t care about music or declarations, he just wants to fight! The bell rings, and Rhyno rushes Elias and puts him in a corner. Elias kicks back then chops back, so Rhyno chops Elias. Rhyno puts Elias back in a corner then whips corner to corner but Elias reverses, only for Rhyno to run him over with a shoulder! Fans cheer as Rhyno headbutts Elias to ropes. Elias back elbows then clobbers Rhyno from behind, before stomping the ECW original out. Elias drives a forearm into Rhyno, then wrenches his neck. Slater rallies the fans and Rhyno fights out. Elias throws Rhyno down by his hair, then drops an elbow, but Rhyno dodges. Elias hits the mat, but he’s up first. Rhyno hits back, chops, then whips. Elias clubs Rhyno then runs, but into Rhyno’s lariat.

Rhyno rallies now, throwing hands in a corner. Elias hits back, but Rhyno whips him corner to corner again. Rhyno runs but into Elias’ knee. Elias runs out and runs Rhyno over with a clothesline of his own. He brings Rhyno up, Drift Away! Cover, Elias wins!

Winner: Elias, by pinfall

The Drifter doesn’t end things with Rhyno, he goes after Slater! He drags the One Man dBand up, and hits him with a Drift Away, too! Elias feels good about himself this close to Wrestlemania, but how will Elias give us that once-in-a-lifetime performance?

 

Raw takes a look back at Cena’s desire for a Road to Wrestlemania.

Cena couldn’t get a match for a title, so he’s going for the “impossible”! He wants to face The Undertaker, but the one person in the way of the match is the Undertaker. Cena has called Taker an egomaniac, because when Cena fails, he gets back up. But when Taker fails, he hides in shame. Cena doesn’t want lame excuses, he wants Taker to stop being self-centered. The people have given Taker everything, but Taker can’t even give a response? He is no wrestling god, he’s just a man, and “that man, Undertaker, is a coward.” If Taker wants to prove Cena wrong, then “do something!” But instead of the Undertaker, it was KANE who appeared. Cena wanted to know, “Is it ‘yes’ or is it ‘no’?” It was neither, as it was a CHOKE SLAM! And that leads us to tonight’s main event!

 

No Disqualifications: John Cena VS Kane!

The Face that Runs the Place may have called out the Phenom, but he’s apparently riled up the Big Red Machine. With the rules thrown out the window, will Cena have a chance to get a straight answer out of the Devil’s Favorite Demon on what the Deadman really wants?

The bell rings and Cena goes right at Kane, and the two brawl. The fans duel, “Let’s Go Cena!” “Cena Sucks!” Kane throws heavy hands on Cena but Cena fights back. Cena runs, but into Kane’s big boot. Kane scrapes Cena out of the ring, then follows him out to throw him into barriers. Kane keeps hitting Cena, and Cena returns tot he ring. Fans chant “Undertaker!” while Kane drops a forearm on Cena. Cover, TWO, but Kane keeps on Cena with a chinlock. Cena endures the squeeze, and slowly makes it to his feet. Cena powers out of the hold and lifts Kane, but Kane is too much and Cena falls on his face. Kane covers, TWO.

Cena slowly slips out of the ring, and Kane follows again. Kane hits Cena with his signature uppercut, then brings Cena around the corner. Cena hits back with haymakers, then whips, but Kane reverses to send Cena into steel steps. Kane has control while we go to break.

Raw returns once more, and now the fight has gone around to the stage tech area. Cena hits Kane with a chair, then uncovers barriers to use them as a battering ram on Kane’s ribs! Kane doubles over, so Cena sets the railing up like a ramp. He brings Kane over, but Kane hits back. Kane grabs Cena, and suplexes him onto the railings!

The railings bend under the impact! Cena slumps off the steel, but Kane stands up. Kane stalks the crawling Cena on the hardwood, then brings him up again for another uppercut. Cena staggers, Kane brings him back towards ringside, tossing him over the barricade. Kane drags Cena into the ring, then goes to a corner to remove one of the buckle pads. But Cena does the Undertaker’s sit-up!

Cena runs, and tries those signature shoulder tackles, but Kane stays standing! Cena keeps trying, and knocks Kane down the next time, then drops him with the spin-out powerbomb! The fans know what’s coming next as Cena raises his hand. “You Can’t See Me!” and Five Knuckle Shuffle. He stalks Kane, and bumps him off the exposed buckle. Cena then slits his throat, the same as the Undertaker.

Cena grabs Kane by the throat, and Choke Slams him! Three references to Taker, cover, TWO! Cena keeps his cool, and exits the ring to go searching underneath. He brings out a table! The fans like what they see as he puts it in the ring, and sets it up on all fours. But now Kane sits up! And Kane grabs Cena, but Cena slips out. Cena fireman’s carry, but Kane tips the table and uppercuts Cena.

Kane takes the table for his own, and sets it up in a corner. He goes back to Cena, and brings him up. Cena hits back while fans duel, and Kane kicks low to then throw Cena through the table! Cover, TWO! Cena is too tough and too determined to let a table take him out. Kane slips out of the ring and searches for something. He brings out a second table, and puts that in the ring. Kane sets the table up on all fours while Cena slowly drags himself up. Kane stalks Cena, grabs Cena by the throat, but Cena slips out to fireman’s carry again, to AA through the table! Cover, Cena wins!

Winner: Cena, by pinfall

“Big Match John” endures a rough fight with Kane, but a win isn’t enough. He grabs a microphone, and asks, “No lightning? No bells of terror? No Undertaker?!” This was a match with no rules, and anyone could’ve shown up! So where is he?! Where is the Undertaker!? The fans chant for Undertaker, too. Cena knows Taker isn’t deaf, just afraid! Night after night, city after city, crowd after crowd, “they chant your name!” And they still chant now.

“You don’t get to be mysterious here. Silence is not an answer.” Give either a “yes” or a “no”. The fans give a “YES! YES!” Cena is fine if it’s a no, because he’ll still go to ‘Mania as a fan. But just look at the energy when the WWE Universe chants “YES!”, when they chant “Undertaker!” and when they chant “Do Something!” Because Cena dares the Undertaker to “Do Something.”

Undertaker has one week left to sum up his entire career. Either Taker does something, or nothing, “and if you do nothing”, Taker lets Cena down, lets Kane down, and most of all, he’ll let everyone who has ever cared about Taker know, that Taker only cares about Taker. For the sake of all that is good inside the ring, Cena hopes to see Taker next week. Harsh words from a frustrated and desperate Cena, but will they raise the ire of the Phenom enough to get an answer?

 


 

My Thoughts:

This was a good Raw, but clearly they’re saving their energy for next week’s go-home. We got great surprises in the opening segment, as both Lesnar and Roman show up. Roman is the bigger surprise, as the kayfabe was of him being hospitalized after Lesnar beat him down. Roman still gets beat down here because he’s not 100%, but he doesn’t get beat down as badly this time, either. They’re working really hard to get Roman over, and I can’t be sure if it moved the needle much here, but there’s still next week. Nia dominating Mickie then scaring Alexa off was great for her, she’s going to be building up so much momentum for ‘Mania that it’d be a real shame if she didn’t win the title.

Great to see Cruiserweights back on Raw, but it’s not like it advanced the story, which was part of the problem the first time. Miz TV got one over on me, I really thought/hoped Miztourage would break away, but they swerved Rollins & Finn. Finn VS Rollins will happen again next week, but I bet Miz will just interfere then. Miztourage lose to Good Brothers, because the Good Brothers need to stay afloat in the Tag Team Division, but nothing new otherwise. Asuka won so fast, I expected something more, like Charlotte showing up on Raw so that both of them are on both shows for this build. Perhaps a missed opportunity there. Hardy joins the Men’s Battle Royal, and I’m hoping he wins to keep him going outside of WOKEN feuds.

The Authority’s training video was well made, but the words were so full of irony, it was actually the best part of the whole thing. Rousey’s segment was alright, but mostly because of Absolution coming in. Paige is always good on the mic, and Rousey is obviously at her best when she’s physical. Next week is a final face-to-face before the match, but it’d almost be redundant if they got physical then, so hopefully Rousey gives a sharper promo for that. Strowman does great again against Sheamus, keeping himself strong and his partner a mystery. There is still so much speculation, but I still personally hope it’s someone other than Elias just so that their characters aren’t back pedaling.

Then there’s the interesting character development in John Cena. While he’s framing this as “Taker is a coward”, and egging the Deadman to #DoSomething, what if this is all just Cena slowly turning Heel? It’s been established that he wants a Wrestlemania match badly, almost desperately. He tried the Rumble, he tried the Chamber, he even tried Fastlane, but failed at them all. He’s grasping at straws, and Taker was the “impossible” low hanging fruit. Cena’s mocking of the Undertaker’s signature mannerisms could also be a sign, as those are usually Heel tactics. He did have a point, though, that a No DQ match was the perfect opening to show up and attack, but perhaps the no-show is itself the perfect way to play this.

My Score: 8/10


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Coverage

Mitchell’s WWE 205 Live Results & Report! (4/16/21)

Will Retro take down The Premier?

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Coverage 205 2021

Tony Nese defends that 205 Live is still HIS show!

The Premier Athlete says he IS Mr. 205 Live, but that could all change! Will August Grey lead the way for the purple ‘n’ orange?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Ashante “Thee” Adonis VS Jake Atlas; Atlas wins.
  • August Grey VS Tony Nese; Grey wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Ashante “Thee” Adonis VS Jake Atlas!

The Braggadocios learned savvy from THE Brian Kendrick, but in a roundabout way, the Muscle of El Monte learned aggression from The Psycho Killer! Who puts the lessons learned into practice now that WWE is past WrestleMania?

The bell rings and Atlas circles with Adonis. Fans rally as they approach, and Adonis gives a testing kick to the arm. Atlas shakes that off but Adonis kicks him again. Atlas eggs Adonis on, then swats the kick to wrench the arm! Atlas YANKS the arm, wrenches to an elbow breaker then clamps down on it. Adonis gets up but Atlas brings him back down. Adonis reverses the armlock but Atlas reverses it back. Adonis rolls Atlas but Atlas shifts right back to the armlock. Fans rally, Adonis fights up but Atlas shoves him away to then arm-drag on the rebound! Atlas grinds the arm, Adonis fights up, but Atlas whips Adonis to arm-drag again!

Atlas goes after the arm and wrangles Adonis back down. Adonis fights up but Atlas whips, only for Adonis to fake the arm-drag out! Adonis KNEES Atlas in the side, but Atlas shoves him! Adonis shoves back, they lock up and go around! They end up on ropes, the ref has them break. Adonis swings, Atlas ducks it but Adonis returns the favor. Adonis back suplexes, Atlas lands on his feet, slides under and runs, but into a LARIAT! Adonis seethes as he stalks Atlas to a corner, and then RAMS his shoulder in! Adonis throws EuroUppers, follows Atlas and throws more EuroUppers! Atlas CHOPS back! And CHOPS again!

Atlas CLUBS Adonis, CHOPS him in a corner, but Adonis kicks back! Adonis ROCKS Atlas in the corner, CHOPS him, and then whips him corner to corner. Atlas reverses but Adonis reverses back, only to miss in the corner! Atlas WRINGS the arm out, then goes up top! Atlas aims, but Adonis trips up the cartwheel! Atlas is stuck on the top rope, AIRDROP sends Atlas to the floor! Adonis goes out to fetch Atlas, and RAM him into boards! Adonis SLAMS Atlas’ arm into the steel steps! Adonis gets Atlas up an din the ring at 7 of 10, then covers, TWO! Atlas toughs it out and fans rally up as he crawls for ropes. Adonis gets the arm first, wrenches it, and uppercuts the triceps!

Adonis WRINGS Atlas’ arm in return, then covers, TWO! Atlas grits his teeth but Adonis is after the arm! Adonis wants a Fujiwara but Atlas turns it to a cover, TWO! Adonis still has the arm, shifts around and goes for the Fujiwara again! Atlas endures as Adonis bends the arm back, and he powers up to get around. Atlas throws body shots, Adonis CLUBS the arm, repeat! Adonis bumps Atlas off buckles, but Atlas elbows back! Atlas boots the clothesline away then back kicks, ax kicks and BOOTS Adonis! Adonis resists the waistlock and elbows free! Atlas EuroUppers Adonis, then rallies with clotheslines! Atlas spins Adonis to WHEEL KICK! Adonis staggers into a GERMAN SUPLEX! Cover, TWO!!

Atlas couldn’t hold Adonis down because of the bad arm! Atlas tastes his own blood in his mouth but that only fires him up! Fans rally as Atlas climbs a corner, but Adonis intercepts with a forearm! Adonis goes up, he and Atlas brawl up top but Atlas ROCKS Adonis! Adonis comes back to ROCKET LAUNCH Atlas down! Atlas slowly rises, Adonis climbs up and leaps, BIG CROSSBODY! Cover, TWO! Atlas survives and Adonis is growing frustrated. Adonis kicks Atlas to the apron. Adonis stands Atlas up, rolls him through the ropes, TWO! Adonis back drops but Atlas sunset flips, TWO! KNEE TRIGGER! And a ROLLING ELBOW!

Atlas GOURD BUSTERS Adonis to the drop zone, then goes up top. Atlas hits the CARTWHEEL DDT!! Cover, Atlas wins!

Winner: Jake Atlas, by pinfall

It seems Old Man Ciampa’s lessons paid off! Will Atlas lift himself up towards a title opportunity now that Santos Escobar isn’t the champion?

 

August Grey VS Tony Nese!

#RetroAG finally got payback on Daivari Dinero, then was weirdly congratulated by him after defeating Adonis a few weeks ago. Will Daivari congratulate Grey again when he defeats Daivari’s fellow 205 Live OG? Or will the Premier Athlete prevent the new wave from taking over his brand?

Well Daivari is showing which side he’s on by accompanying Nese to the ring! Though he does get left hanging on that fist bump. Daivari joins commentary as the bell rings and Grey circles with Nese. They tie up, Nese waistlocks and slams Grey down! Nese then flexes on Grey, but fans are on Grey’s side as he and Nese circle again. Grey and Nese tie up, Grey waistlocks, but Nese hooks a leg to get the drop toehold. Nese floats to a facelock but Grey slips out to a hammerlock. Grey reels Nese in, Nese resists but Grey wrenches a wristlock to then headlock. Nese tries but can’t power out as Grey grinds him down. Nese tries again but Grey still holds on tight!

Nese fights up, powers out, and things speed up. Nese hurdles, Grey headlocks to the takeover! Fans cheer as Nese endures another grind. Nese fights up, powers Grey to a corner, and the ref counts. Nese is set free but he whips Grey corner to corner. Grey goes up and over and hits another headlock takeover! Nese pushes with forearms but Grey grinds the headlock. Nese fights up, fans rally and Nese powers out. Grey goes up and over again but Nese goes up and over, too! Nese does jumping jacks just to show off. Grey runs, into an arm-drag, but he gets the headlock! Nese rolls Grey off but Grey does the jumping jacks in return!

Grey side-steps Nese, blocks the hip toss and dodges the clothesline to headlock again. Nese counters as he back suplexes Grey down! Nese kicks and stomps Grey around, covers, TWO! Nese grows annoyed as he gets Grey up and kicks him in the stomach! Fans rally for Grey but Nese hauls Grey up in a pump handle! Grey slips free, drop toeholds Nese onto ropes, then dials it up for a SLIDING STRADDLE! Grey ROCKS Nese with an uppercut, then climbs up, SHORYUKEN from Nese! Grey is stuck on the ropes, Nese runs in to TOP SHELF KICK, to the fireman’s carry and GUTBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Nese stomps Grey down and then looms over him.

Nese soaks up heat from the fans as he kicks Grey in the side. Nese whips Grey hard into the corner and Grey bounces off buckles! Nese flexes on Grey again and Daivari cheers the peak. Nese kicks Grey to a corner, Grey hits back with body shots! Grey throws haymakers but Nese hits a BIG back suplex! Cover, TWO! Nese goes to a corner and unties a buckle pad? The ref stops him before he can finish, and Grey trips Nese up! Grey gives Nese a taste of his own medicine, catapult into that buckle! Roll up and cover, TWO! Grey CHOPS Nese, whips but Nese reverses to then slide and pump handle, for the scoop and DRIVER! Cover, TWO!!

Grey survives but Daivari says Nese’s got this. Grey gets to a corner, Nese storms over to give him kicks in the ribs! Grey throws body shots and forearms and a CHOP! Nese runs into a back elbow, Grey boots but that’s blocked. Nese throws the foot down but Grey ROCKS him! Grey runs to RANA, then CLOBBER Nese! Grey goes for a gut wrench, Nese back drops but Grey sunset flips! Nese rolls through to back KICK Grey down! Cover, TWO!! Grey survives but Nese puts on the squeeze! Grey endures, pries the feet apart but Nese shifts to a headlock. Nese knees Grey, then talks trash. Nese pushes Grey around but fans taunt Nese, “You Still Suck!” Grey CHOPS Nese, then JABS! CHOP! JAB!

Nese puts Grey in a corner but Grey dodges to CHOP and stomp away! Grey fires off hands, the ref counts and Grey stops at 4. Grey whips, Nese reverses but Grey comes back to LARIAT! Grey spins Nese to hit a jawbreaker, to NECKBREAKER! Grey handsprings and fans fire up with him! Daivari doesn’t like the showboating, but Nese throws Grey to the apron. Grey ROCKS Nese in return, then goes up top! Tightrope CROSSBODY! Grey rains down rights and then ROCKS Nese again! Grey hits the EXTRA LARGE BACK SUPLEX! Cover, TWO! Daivari says it takes more than that to stop the Premier Athlete, the 205 Live OG! Grey gets up, brings Nese up but Nese throat chops!

Grey gasps, Nese talks trash, and then Nese runs with Grey, but Grey blocks the hotshot! Grey shoulders but into a kick! Nese slingshots, into a HOTSHOT CUTTER! Grey gets Nese in, for another Extra Large, but Nese lands on his feet! Nese gets a cover, TWO! Nese mule kicks, front kicks, knee lifts and enziguris! Nese whips, uses that to slide, but Grey rolls through to SUPERKICK! Nese tumbles out, Grey DIVES! Direct hit and Nese is sent flying over the announce desk! Fans fire up and Daivari has to get out of his seat because of that. Grey gets back to the ring, the ring count is 5 of 10! It keeps going, 7 of 10 but Nese is still down. Will Grey learn from last time?

NOPE! Grey goes out at 9 because he wants to win this in the ring! Daivari brings up how that messed him up with Mansoor, but Grey tells him to shut up. Nese rolls Grey up, but Grey turns it around! Grey wins!!

Winner: August Grey, by pinfall

What was that about messing up? Grey won “the right way,” but Daivari says it was just dumb luck! Will AG keep getting the better of the OG on 205 Live?


My Thoughts:

A very fun, very good 205 Live to get back to new content after WrestleMania. Atlas VS Adonis was a very good match, started to feel like the early days of 205 Live that we just relived last week. Atlas and Adonis being names from Greek myth, I kinda want them to try being a team at some point. Though at the same time, that feels like something early 2000’s WWE would do and maybe it’s best if they don’t? Who knows, maybe give it a try, see if something comes of it.

Grey VS Nese was also really good, and the story that’s building with Grey and these OG is pretty good. Daivari on commentary was explaining how Grey winning against Adonis with the feet on ropes was a twinkling of him being compatible with Daivari & Nese, who are solidly Heel. But Grey resisting that and doing things the solidly Face way is a good story in itself, so I hope this is how Grey builds himself up to at least try for the Cruiserweight Championship. Grey’s got a lot of innovative moves, as well, so I’d definitely be okay with seeing him try those with Kushida, maybe even Swerve and Ruff.

My Score: 8.2/10


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Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (4/16/21)

SmackDown is up, and WE! WANT! THE SMOKE!!

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Coverage SmackDown 2021

The SmackDown After WrestleMania puts more gold on the line!

After WrESTleMania, we have a NEW SmackDown Women’s Champion in Bianca Belair! But will we have new tag team champions to match? It’s The Dirty Dawgs VS The Street Profits in 2v2 competition!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Rey Mysterio w/ Dominik Mysterio VS Otis w/ Chad Gable; Rey wins.
  • Roman Reigns w/ Paul Heyman VS Cesaro; cancelled.
  • Sami Zayn VS Kevin Owens; Kevin wins.
  • SmackDown Tag Team Championships: The Dirty Dawgs VS The Street Profits; The Dirty Dawgs win and retain the titles.
  • Natalya w/ Tamina VS Shayna Baszler w/ Nia Jax; Natalya wins.
  • Cesaro VS Jey Uso w/ Paul Heyman; Cesaro wins, by disqualification.

PLAY BY PLAY

Pat McAfee joins SmackDown commentary!

The Punter of the Decade joins Michael Cole and it is his honor to be here!

 

Roman Reigns heads to the ring!

The Tribal Chief is STILL WWE Universal Champion, and he again has Jey Uso and Paul Heyman by his side as he holds that belt up high in the ThunderDome. Fans boo and give thumbs down but that just makes Heyman laugh. Heyman hands the mic to Roman, but fans chant, “You Suck!” Roman says it is no secret, “we put a lot of eyes on SmackDown.” So for the new viewers, let’s tell them about the men Roman beat in the main event of WrestleMania. Heyman says he would be honored.

First is Edge, an ELEVEN time world champion, married to a hall of famer and is a hall of famer in his own right. Then there’s Daniel Bryan, a FIVE time world champion, also married to a hall of famer, and will “YES! YES! YES!” his way into the hall of fame when he retires, which should be soon after Roman stacked them and pinned them together. Take all of their accomplishments combined and the enormity of both men’s legacies, who came up against Roman, it was practically a Handicap match in THE main event of WrestleMania. McAfee agrees on commentary.

Roman says he took a page from Heyman’s playbook and Babe Ruth’d it! He called his shot: He was gonna smash ’em, stack ’em, and pin ’em 1-2-3. Then, they would #AcknowledgeMe. Now to be honest, it’s embarrassing! If Roman was another man, he’d never want to be in that situation. WWE will probably never put him in a Triple Threat again after that. Nobody wants to face Roman! No one wants that to happen to them! These were hall of famers, and he smashed ’em, stacked ’em and pinned ’em. And if he’s doing that to guys like that, who will want it next? Nobody! “Don’t nobody want to step to me now!” Not worth it! No one measures up to Roman, no one is on his level.

So after fulfilling the obligations and opened Roman’s show, cut the check, fire up the jet, time to go home. Heyman takes the mics for Roman, but here comes CESARO! The Swiss Cyborg finally had and won his first singles match at WrestleMania, and is now getting in Roman’s face! He looks at the Universal Championship, then gets a mic. Roman still takes his leave, but Cesaro figured as much. Cesaro doesn’t get to say his piece, but will he make Roman acknowledge him?

 

Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville talk backstage.

Cesaro walks by, they congratulate him on his Mania win, but he asks if they saw what “that son of a bitch” Roman did. No one is going to step up? Cesaro will. Not even for the title! He just wants a match tonight. Sonya says she’ll talk to Roman and see if he’ll accept that. Cesaro is fine with that, but is Pearce?

 

Rey Mysterio w/ Dominik Mysterio VS Otis w/ Chad Gable!

While the King and Prince of Lucha didn’t get those SmackDown Tag Team Championships off Dolph Ziggler & Robert Roode, neither did the Alpha Academy. This battle has been brewing for months after Gable unleashed The Dozer on Rey’s ribs. Will Rey get his revenge and his redemption going 1v1 with the big man?

The bell rings, and Otis CLOBBERS Rey with his gut already! Otis gets Rey up, CLUBS him on the back, then looms over him as he writhes. Otis scoops Rey, pops him up to a military press, and then DROPS Rey! Gable cheers Otis on while Dom coaches Rey up. But Otis brings Rey up to SLIDE him out! Rey rolls through to come back and shoulder into Otis! Rey fires forearms, hotshots Otis away, then goes up a corner, only for Otis to trip him! Rey ends up in a Tree of Woe, Otis stomps a mudhole into him! The ref backs Otis off, but Otis comes back, only for Rey to sit up! Otis hits buckles, Rey turns around and leaps to SEATED SENTON! BASEMENT SEEATED SENTON! Cover, TOW!

Rey kicks but Otis blocks the whip. Otis whips Rey away, Rey ducks and springboards, into Otis’ arms! POWERSLAM! Gable tells Otis to keep on Rey and Otis drags him to a drop zone. Otis goes up the corner, leaps, but FLOPS as Rey rolls out of the way! Dom coaches Rey up, Gable shouts to Otis, and Rey dropkicks Otis onto ropes! Rey dials it up, but Otis comes back! Rey trips Otis onto ropes, and hits the 619! Rey hurries up top again but Otis is back up! Rey leaps, for a CRUCIFIX DRIVER! Cover, Rey wins!!

Winner: Rey Mysterio, by pinfall

That’s a huge win for Mysterio! The Dozer is furious but will he have to go back to the drawing board?

 

Kayla Braxton talks with Paul Heyman.

And from the look on Heyman’s face, he is both shocked and offended that SmackDown management wants Roman to compete tonight! It’ll be non-title, but will it even happen? We find out, after the break!

SmackDown returns and Kayla asks if Heyman accepts the challenge. That’s the question? Yes, because that’s what we do around here in the WWE: “We put smiles on the faces of Neanderthals, like Cesaro.” Does Kayla have any clue the enormity of the star power that is possessed by Roman and its affect on the ENTIRE WWE Universe? What happened on Saturday? Oh~ a rain delay! Rain delay, Heyman’s “kosher tuchus.” Those were the tears of the angels descending upon Tampa over the BEATING Roman was going to give, and that is what happened! Roman walked out champion, and neither Bryan nor Edge walked out of Raymond James at all.

And as Heyman was walking back with Roman, they were stepping in puddles, and Heyman said, “My goodness! Tears still descending from up above!” Except it wasn’t from the skies, but from the locker room. A visionary like Seth Rollins had to lower himself to face “a knuckle-dragging, slack-jawed, bucktooth Swiss quisling like Cesaro.” A billion dollar body but a 10 cent brain and THIS is who emerges to get in the face of Your Tribal Chief?! Cesaro is physically capable of being a great opponent, but he is not an attraction. He’s a joke!

So let’s put an end to the joke! Stop the train before it leaves the station! They will give Cesaro what he wants, tonight live on SmackDown! Cesaro in the main event against THE main event, Jey Uso. Of course Heyman had a way to change the course. But will Cesaro blast through the Right Hand Man to get at the Head of the Table, whether they like it or not?

 

Sami Zayn heads to the ring!

The Great Liberator didn’t defeat his long-time frenemy, and he didn’t even have Logan Paul on his side! And Sami loves to see the headlines outside of the one that is most accurate: “Sami Zayn Once Again SCREWED!” Where is that one, huh?! Well, does it exist…? Sami says it was his vindication! The stars were aligned, and he had the one star that matters in Logan Paul! Logan was supposed to help Sami expose the WWE and celebrate his grand victory, but that’s not how it went down, did it?

And here’s why: Logan’s mind was poisoned by Kevin Owens and the WWE Universe talking bad about Sami, like he’s a crackpot! It was poisoned by management, and the “corporate mouthpiece,” Michael Cole! They got in Logan’s head and Sami could sense it and feel it as he hugged Logan! And then in the match, of course he was distracted! Sami was worried about Logan! And that is the only reason, THE ONLY REASON, Kevin squeaked out that win. And Kevin is back there, obviously. Sami will not be denied vindication! Sami calls Kevin out for a rematch! There’s nothing to distract him, there are no toxic fans or stupid Logan Paul and his warped mind! No distractions, no way for Kevin to steal this!

But that’s why Kevin won’t come out, because- Wait, Kevin DOES come out to the ring! Kevin says if Sami’s gonna keep making excuses, then here we go! This WrestleMania rematch happens, after the break!

Sami Zayn VS Kevin Owens!

The bell rings and Sami bails out! Kevin smirks because he knew this would happen. Kevin slides out but Sami slides in. Then Kevin slide sin, but that’s a fake-out! Sami is on the outside and Kevin fires off! Kevin bounces Sami off the desk, puts him in the ring, and CHOPS him to a corner! And CHOPS again! Sami stumbles to another corner but Kevin gives him body shots! The ref counts, Kevin lets off, and then comes back, but Sami hits first! Sami whips corner to corner, Kevin comes back to CLOBBER Sami! BACK SENTON! Sami is in a corner, Kevin runs in but Sami bails out. Kevin goes to the apron but Sami hotshots him! Then BLINDSIDES him!

Sami rains down furious fists from all sides! Sami lets off to snarl and seethe. Sami puts Kevin on the ropes and chokes him! The ref counts, Sami lets off at 4 and CLUBS Kevin! Kevin gets up to CHOP back! Sami stomps Kevin to a corner, digs his boots in, and even stands on Kevin! The ref counts, Sami lets off, and then Sami throws haymakers. Kevin hits back, counter punches, and backs Sami down. Sami jawbreakers in return! Sami CHOPS Kevin against ropes, then whips him to ropes. Kevin reverses but Sami kicks back, only for Kevin to LARIAT! Kevin reels Sami in, suplexes to hang Sami out to dry, and Sami springs off the ropes to hit the mat!

Kevin fires off on Sami in a corner, hoists him up top and CHOPS him again! Kevin climbs up, Sami throws elbows and then adjusts to sunset flip POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO!! Kevin survives, Sami argues with the ref, and SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns and Sami is again fighting Kevin off on the top rope. Kevin hits back, climbs back up, and Sami throws headbutts! Kevin falls back, Sami adjusts and leaps, but Kevin gets clear! Kevin SUPERKICKS Sami down! Cover, TWO!! Sami survives but Kevin hurries right to the top rope! SWANTON BOMB!! Cover, TWO!! Sami survives again and Kevin is beside himself! Kevin shakes his head as he stands Sami up, whips him, but Sami bails out to avoid a pop-up. Kevin pursues Sami as the ring count climbs, and gets him on the ramp to throw him into barriers! Kevin puts Sami back in at 5 of 10, knees low then whips, but Sami slips through the pop-up to get an arm!

Kevin fights the Half ‘n’ Half, then pump handles for the PACKAGE USHIGOROSHI!! Cover, TWO!!! Sami still survives that move, just like WrestleMania! Kevin gets annoyed, but he again has to pursue Sami on the outside. Kevin drags Sami from the barriers, puts him in, and kicks, but no Stunner! Sami again bails out, Kevin grabs at him on the apron, but Sami rakes Kevin’s eyes! The ring count is still climbing, though, but Sami wants to run away! Sami gets himself counted out, Kevin wins!

Winner: Kevin Owens, by count-out

Kevin wins again, but it seems Sami didn’t want revenge that badly. But Kevin pursues and goes after Sami with fists at the ramp! Kevin puts Sami in the ring, kicks and STUNNERS! It seems Kevin still hasn’t beaten sense into Sami, will these two #JustKeepFighting?

 

Apollo Crews speaks.

“All of Nigeria has not stopped celebrating, ever since I smashed Big E into oblivion and I became the new Intercontinental Champion!” And he would give Big E a rematch tonight, but he’s not here. And do you know why? Two words: Nigerian Nail! That is the name of the move used by this giant beside Apollo here. This is his commander of the guard, Azeez, former member of the Nigerian Elite Guard. If anyone dares come for Apollo, they will be annihilated by the Nigerian Nail!

 

The Street Profits head to the ring!

Montez Ford & Angelo Dawkins are going to be facing the Dirty Dawgs for the tag titles later tonight, but first they are going to celebrate the NEW SmackDown Women’s Champion! This will be the EST of celebrations, after the break!

SmackDown returns and Ford says it’s Friday Night, and he’s feelin’ right! Dawkins says it is official takeback season! Time to do spring cleaning to send Dolph & Roode back through that time warp they came out of so they can return to 1986. Oh, and about getting the shine back on those SmackDown tag titles! Right! The Dirty Dawgs will get snatched, but that’s not the only reason why the Solo cups are raised high. It’s been a long time, and they got some inspiration this past weekend. Some motivation! WrestleMania was a night for the ages, a night to remember!

One match in particular will be something Ford tells his grandkids about! That is the historic, the glass ceiling shattering SmackDown Women’s Championship! ROLL TAPE! Sasha Banks VS Bianca Belair, WrestleMania 37 Night One, the main event! Headlines were marking how amazing it was even before the bell, and no one could deny it after! We have a NEW SmackDown Women’s Champion, and it is Bianca Belair! Dawkins has the feels, fam! Ford says that as we just saw, the party isn’t over! The champagne for the campaign is not done popping. Saturday, that was a genuine moment that will be with them for the rest of their lives. And they just want to share that joy with the fans!

So they introduce to use, the roughest, the toughest, the quickest, the strongest, and the greatest part of Ford’s life, the NEW WWE SmackDown Women’s Champion, the EST, no no no, THE E S T of the W W E, BIANCA BELAIR!! Bianca makes her entrance, Ford and Dawkins sing her praises and the fans cheer on their ThunderDome screens! Bianca is handed a mic, and she feels like he’s been floating since Saturday! Her mind is blown, her heart is filled, and she feels blessed. But despite the setbacks, the struggles, she never stopped believing that this moment was possible.

And her family has been making history for generations, they are the ones who showed her that when you demand greatness from yourself, that no matter how hard the game gets, you can change the game! If you were to have asked her a year ago if she could ever imagine main-eventing Mania, winning the SmackDown Women’s Championship… Well she probably would’ve said yes! But that’s not because she’s cocky. That’s because she’s unapologetically her. Everyone has a little EST in them, and when you find it, you know that you’re talented and working hard, you never need to apologize for saying you are the B-E-S-T! “Because if you can dream it, you can do it.”

Bianca showed up, showed out, but it isn’t just about her. Sasha Banks, Bianca thanks you. There is no one she would’ve rather shared that spotlight because Sasha pushed her to her limits and it takes two. They BOTH made history. But… If Sasha ever tries to forget it, just know that Bianca left you with something to remember her by. That hair whip did leave a mark… But this is also about Sasha, too. This moment is so much bigger than them. This is about all the girls watching at Raymond James and at home, who saw Bianca and saw themselves. This is for you! That was Mania magic, but we’re only getting started!

Ford and Bianca hug, Dawkins joins in for a family moment, and Bianca says it’s time to drop the cups, throw the tissues away, and get those titles again. They only wear gold in this house. The Profits and the new SmackDown Women’s Champion are up, and #WeWantTheSmoke! Will this trio become truly golden after tonight?

 

Backstage interview with Sasha Banks.

After seeing Bianca out there, she is in no mood. The Boss still has the mark on her side, and she seethes. She takes a second to cool off, but it doesn’t work, and she storms off. Will Sasha find a way back to that title and to WrestleMania revenge?

 

Backstage interview with Bayley.

The Role Model acknowledges that Cesaro was super impressive with the UFO spin, as footage is replayed, but what about Sasha? She probably wants a rematch but is so angry she can’t say it. While Bayley was super busy trying to save both nights of Mania, Bianca was in the main event crying. Even before the match began! No one wants to say it but Bayley will: those tears was because Bianca thought she couldn’t win. Is that who you want as champion? And now she’s showboating and arrogant! That is NOT the kind of champion we should want!

So there is only one way to fix this, and restore dignity to the title: for Bayley, the longest reigning SmackDown Women’s Champion ever, to challenge Bianca and take that title! Will Bayley cut Sasha in line and get back to the gold first?

 

SmackDown Tag Team Championships: The Dirty Dawgs VS The Street Profits!

The Show-Off & The Glorious One made it through #WrestleManiaSmackDown and its Fatal 4 Way with these titles, but now they’re 2v2 with Ford & Dawkins! Will takeback season work out for the fam? We find out, after the break!

SmackDown returns and the titles are raised. Teams sort out, Ziggler starts with Dawkins and they circle. They feel out the grapple, Ziggler shoots in but Dawkins sprawls then shifts to a waistlock. Ziggler gets the ropebreak, the ref counts but Ziggler elbows free! Ziggler dares Dawkins to get up, then he gets Dawkins only for Dawkins to DECK him! Tag to Ford, the Profits whip Ziggler, Dawkins drops and Ford dropkicks Ziggler down! Cover, TWO! Ford gets Ziggler back up, snapmares him to basement dropkick! Cover, TWO! Ford keeps Ziggler from Roode, wrenches and armlocks to tag in Dawkins. Ford wrenches the arm again and again, Dawkins drops ax handles!

Dawkins wrenches, tags Ford back in, and now Ford drops ax handles! Ford mocks Roode but Ziggler ROCKS Ford! Roode tags in but Ford reverses the whip to send Ziggler into Roode! Tag to Dawkins, the Profits double whip to DOUBLE FLAPJACK! Ziggler comes in, but gets a DOUBLE FLAPJACK onto Roode! Ford throws Ziggler out, Dawkins gives Roode the CYCLONE SPLASH! Dawkins keeps moving, BULLDOG! Then a BIG shoulder tackle! The Profits are fired WAY up as SmackDown goes to break!

SmackDown returns again and Dawkins covers Roode, TWO! Dawkins keeps on Roode with a headlock, Roode powers out but Dawkins runs him over! Things keep moving, Dawkins leaping back elbows! Roode avoids the cyclone but Dawkins elbows him away. Ziggler distracts but Dawkins DECKS him, only to run into a GLORIOUS SPINEBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Ziggler tags in and DECKS Ford! Ziggler gets Dawkins up for a NECKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Ziggler tags Roode back in, the Dirty Dawgs mug Dawkins and Roode stomps Dawkins down. Roode brings Dawkins up to suplex high and hard, covers, TWO! Roode argues the count but it was fair.

Tag to Ziggler, the Dawgs mug Dawkins, and Ziggler taunts Ford before daring Dawkins to stand. Dawkins gets up, Ziggler slaps him around, but his dropkick is caught for a CATAPULT! Ziggler hits buckle and then the mat! Ford fires up on his corner and fans rally on the ThunderDome screens. Ziggler and Dawkins crawl, hot tags to Ford and Roode! Ford rallies with big clotheslines, then he TOSSES Ziggler for good measure! Dropkick for Roode, dropkick for Ziggler! Ford dodges Roode to BLOCKBUSTER! Ford CLOBBERS Ziggler! Ford whips Roode, Roode reverses and reels For din but Ford lands out of the back suplex to give a back suplex! Kip up and STANDING MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO!

Roode bails out to join Ziggler, Ford has a target! Ford builds speed, tags Dawkins as he FLIES! Direct hit to the Dawgs and Ford gets Roode in for Dawkins! Dawkins gets Roode up, THE ANOINTMENT! Tag to Ford, he climbs, and leaps FROM THE HEAVENS!! Cover, Ziggler breaks it!! Dawkins gets Ziggler up but Ziggler throws him to clothesline Dawkins and himself out! Ford DECKS Ziggler, gets Roode up and fires off fists in a corner! The ref backs Ford off, and Ziggler sneaks a tag in! Ford doesn’t know, he whips but Roode reverses. Ford goes up and over, into a ZIGZAG!!! Cover, the Dawgs win!!

Winners: The Dirty Dawgs, by pinfall

As fired up as Ford was, Ziggler & Roode find a way to survive! Is this the end of takeback season? Will the Dawgs move on to new challengers in the wake of WrestleMania?

 

Backstage interview with Cesaro.

While denying him a match with Roman Reigns, Heyman said some rather derogatory things about Cesaro. His response? “I think Paul Heyman is right.” Cesaro admits he has buck teeth, a slack jaw, and that he isn’t the smartest. And with his long arms, maybe he does look like a Neanderthal. But he’s wrong about one thing: Cesaro DOES belong in the ring with Roman Reigns, and will prove it tonight by beating the Right Hand Man!

 

Heyman talks with Roman in their VIP room.

Roman doesn’t like that Cesaro isn’t just accepting things. Roman wants Jey to teach him a lesson. Will Jey Uso check Cesaro off the list for Roman?

 

Natalya w/ Tamina VS Shayna Baszler w/ Nia Jax!

Though the #BOAT and Daughter of Superfly won the Tag Team Turmoil, they could not win the WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships. Can the Queen of Harts redeem herself with another win over the Queen of Spades?

The bell rings, the two tie up and Natty gets a headlock. Shayna powers out, things speed up and Natty ducks to get a waistlock. Shayna blocks the lift, wrenches free and fires off hands and kicks! Shayna knees but Natty deflects it to get the legs! Natty steps through, but Shayna scramble’s and Nia saves her! Tamina storms over, Shayna gets back in the ring, but Natty is waiting! They tie up, Natty trips Shayna, floats to a facelock, but Shayna slips out to hammerlock. Natty gets up, slips through, wrenches, but Shayna wrenches back. Natty rolls, handsprings and gets a leg. Shayna sprawls to block, then shifts to a waistlock and slam, to the ARMBAR!

Natty endures, clasps hands, but Shayna pulls. Shayna stands to get the arm and hammerlocks it into the mat! This time, Tamina says Natty! Natty hotshots Shayna down, Nia storms over and the ref has to keep her and Tamina from throwing down. Natty gets in but Shayna KNEES Her down! Cover, TWO! Shayna grows frustrated, Natty goes to a corner and she elbows Shayna away. Natty spins, DISCUS CLOTHESLINE! Natty goes for legs but Nia gets on the apron! The ref reprimands but Shayna KICKS Natty down! KIRAFUDA, but Natty throws Shayna at Nia! Shayna stops herself, Natty rolls her up, AND WINS!

Winner: Natalya, by pinfall

Nia goes after Natty but Tamina SUPERKICKS her down!! Tamina and Natty aren’t done with the Irresistible Force or Queen of Spades! Will the second time around be the second generation superstars’ time to shine?

 

Jey Uso speaks.

“Cesaro, Cesaro. Boy, you’s a one hit move, huh? King of spin, king of swing, it’s all the same! That’s a cute airplane you did with no hands. But let me ask you something: can you do that with no teeth?!” You’re disrespecting the Tribal Chief, the Head of the Table! Now you’ve crossed the Right Hand Man, and now Jey has to get you! He’ll show you why he is #MainEventJey! Jey vows to #GETIM, and Roman says, “You heard the man. Now he’s gonna show you.”

 

Cesaro VS Jey Uso w/ Paul Heyman!

The Swiss Cyborg shows no fear in the face of the Reigns-ing, Defending, Undisputed, (hardly) Uncontroverted Universal Champion, but the NEW winner of the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal wants to change that. Will Jey be the one to learn something from the original winner of that match?

The bell rings and Cesaro gets Jey right up with a SLAM! Cesaro headlocks, Jey powers out and things speed up, and Cesaro catches Jey for a BACKBREAKER! Cover, ONE!! Cesaro keeps his focus as Jey goes to the apron. Jey gets to a corner but Cesaro bumps him off buckles. Jey counter punches, SLAMS Cesaro’s hand on the crossbar, then pulls the arm through the bars! Jey then kicks, but Cesaro blocks to hotshot the leg! Cesaro BOOTS Jey down and then goes out to pursue. Cesaro leaps from the apron, into a SUPERKICK! Main Event Jey evens things in the main event as SmackDown goes to break!

SmackDown returns once more and Jey cranks on an armlock. Cesaro throws body shots, whips but Jey reverses, to SAMOAN DROP! Cover, TWO! Jey keeps on Cesaro with a stomp to the shoulder! Jey ROCKS Cesaro with an uppercut, then wraps an arm around the ropes to pull! The ref counts, Jey lets off at 4, and then brings Cesaro around to suplex. Cesaro blocks it, then gets Jey up for a suplex of his own! Fans rally on their screens as Jey crawls his way to a corner. Cesaro snarls, aims at Jey and runs in, only to be put on the apron. Cesaro ROCKS Jey first, climbs up top, and leaps for a BIG CROSSBODY! Cover, TWO!

Cesaro shakes out the arms, drags Jey back up, but Jey wrenches to WRING the arm out! SUPERKICK! Cover, TWO!! Cesaro survives but he is in a daze as he gets to a corner. Jey runs corner to corner, HIP ATTACK! Cover, TWO! Cesaro shakes out the arms again but Jey sees him in a drop zone. Jey climbs up, but Cesaro gets up to DROPKICK Jey down! Jey hangs on to keep from falling to the floor, but Cesaro climbs up to get him. Cesaro gets Jey back to the top, Jey fights with body shots and Cesaro hops down. EuroUpper SHORYUKEN! Cesaro gets Jey up for a SUPER GUT WRENCH SUPLEX! Cover, TWO! Jey survives but Cesaro keeps focus.

Jey crawls, Cesaro brings him around, and reels him in! Jey fights the Gotch to wring the arm but Cesaro cartwheels! Cesaro dodges to springboard EuroUpper! Cover, TWO! Cesaro is a bit surprised, but he gets Jey’s legs! Jey kicks Cesaro away, but Cesaro comes back. Jey blocks a boot but gets a EuroUpper! Jey ducks the clothesline to pop-up NECKBREAKER!! Cover, TWO!! Cesaro survives and Jey is furious! Both men slowly rise but Jey is after Cesaro first. Jey throws down haymakers, then SLAPS Cesaro! And slaps him more! Cesaro SLAPS back! And fires off furious palm strikes then furious EuroUppers!! Shots from all sides! Cesaro runs, and LARIATS! Cover, TWO!

Cesaro is seething, but he calls for the spin! Cesaro gets Jey into a SPINEBUSTER, to then get the wings! SWISS SWING!! Michael Cole & Pat McAfee count, but Cesaro doesn’t get past 5 before SETH ROLLINS attacks!!

Winner: Cesaro, by disqualification

The Architect won’t let it go! He doesn’t want anyone anywhere getting swung by Cesaro! Cesaro still wins the match because of this, but he is staggering about. Rollins shouts, “You were done with me?! You got lucky!! ONE TIME! This isn’t over! Nothing is over until I SAY IT’S OVER!! I am the END ALL BE ALL of this industry! And the sooner you figure it out, the better it’s gonna be!” The Savior of SmackDown has all but snapped, but will he be going for another spin before this is all said and done?


My Thoughts:

Well, this was a pretty good post WrestleMania episode. Then some stuff made it like most typical WWE programming. There are a few things that are clearly being set up for WrestleMania Backlash, and they’re all WrestleMania rematches because that’s literally what that PPV becomes when you name it that in such a lazy manner. I am glad Cesaro is the next one stepping up to Roman Reigns, but they’re clearly doing everything they can to stretch this story so that the match will happen at a PPV bigger than Backlash. Cesaro getting the runaround from Roman’s team was a good way to do it, but I’m not sure about Cesaro VS Rollins 2. It’ll be a great match, but is it really necessary? Of course, WWE did repeat the UFO airplane spin a lot, so them running it into the ground is actually a good sign that Cesaro will win, and is going to be the next challenger to Roman’s title.

Natty getting another fairly quick win over Shayna and Tamina knocking Nia down is surely a sign that we’re getting a rematch between those teams for the tag titles at Backlash. But if that is where Tamina & Natty are going to win the titles, it’s profoundly stupid. They should’ve just let Natty & Tamina win at Mania, and then it’d be about Nia & Shayna getting the belts back at Backlash, a much more logical route. The celebration promo for Bianca was great, and while Sasha wants a rematch, Bayley wants her own match with Bianca, so I’m hoping there’s a difference here in that Backlash gives us another Sasha VS Bayley match, winner faces Bianca at the PPV after that.

Dawgs VS Profits was a great match, especially for television, but I am really surprised the Profits didn’t win tonight. I get that the moment Bianca and the Profits are all wearing gold is going to be big, but then why not do that on the SmackDown After Mania? Make tonight feel big because it should be big! Is WrestleMania Backlash really going to be where they do it? I feel like that’s them forcing Backlash to feel special rather than letting it be special by surprise. Rey VS Otis was good, and clearly this feud isn’t over yet, and the winner of that will surely line up for the tag titles.

Kevin VS Sami tonight was also great stuff, a lot of similar spots to the match they had at Mania, but the count-out seems like another way to extend things. I have a feeling something’s gotta give at Backlash, and I hope Kevin & Sami finally start towards the tag titles. Apollo had a good promo to introduce Dabba-Kato’s new form, Commander Azeez, and the name of his finisher. The Nigerian Nail is pretty much a direct translation of the Samoan Spike, which is what the move was when Umaga used it. Big E VS Azeez has to be coming, perhaps with the stipulation that if Big E wins, he gets his rematch with Apollo at Backlash. Honestly, it all feels like WWE is spinning their wheels because Vince is rolling around in the $1 BILLION from NBC.

My Score: 8.2/10


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