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Mitchell’s WWE Monday Night Raw Report! (3/5/18)

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All images courtesy of the WWE’s official Twitter.

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Asuka VS Nia Jax; Asuka wins.
  • The Revival VS The Bar; The Bar wins.
  • Goldust VS John Cena; Cena wins.
  • Bayley VS Mandy Rose w/ Absolution; Bayley wins.
  • Falls Count Anywhere Symphony of Destruction match: Elias VS Braun Strowman; Strowman wins.
  • Bray Wyatt VS Rhyno w/ Heath Slater; Wyatt wins.
  • 3v2 Handicap: The Miz & Miztourage VS Seth Rollins & Finn Balor; Rollins & Balor win.

PLAY BY PLAY

Raw General Manager, Kurt Angle, heads to the ring.

Milwaukee greets him with the usual chant of “You Suck!” as the Olympic Gold Medalist walks out. He stays serious and speaks on having to swallow his pride as GM time and again. As a GM, you do what’s best for business, “but last week went way too far.” Triple H sucker punched Angle, and he won’t stand in front of the world and pretend it’s okay. Angle calls out HHH! It doesn’t matter that he’s the COO, Angle wants HHH to be a man! But instead, we get the Raw Commissioner, Stephanie McMahon.

The Billionaire Princess walks into the ring and up to Angle to calm him down. For starters, HHH isn’t here yet, that’s the truth. And that aside, Stephanie brings up that Angle has four–no, five–kids, that one year old baby girl. Angle must want to buy her everything. This is his second wife, that means there’s some alimony, right? If we’re being honest…

Yes, Angle is an Olympic Gold Medalist, and he won with a broken neck, and is a WWE Hall of Famer. But Stephanie must ask, “Are those accolades paying the bills right now?” She already knows the answer is “no”. But being a general manager does, so just think for a moment: Angle almost ruined the biggest WWE contract signing in its history; Rousey put HHH through a table because of Angle. But HHH got his, so we’re all on the same side again. Know your role, make matches, and put the past behind you, okay? “Don’t let your ego get in the way here.” But then Ronda Rousey appears!

The Rowdy Ronda of Raw is all smiles as she heads down to the ring. Ronda high-fives fans and then enters the ring. She hugs Angle and politely shakes hands with Stephanie. The fans cheer and chant, then she speaks up. “What you did to Kurt Angle last week was very… enlightening.” Seems the authority is not who she thought they were. But she’s had bully bosses and things, she’ll deal with it her own way. Bullying bosses? Stephanie understands not every employee understands the choices their bosses make, but they just accept orders. Fans boo and jeer as Stephanie says that Rousey understands she signed to the WWE, and to the part Stephanie oversees. But look at the bright side: Rousey will have her dream, as she gets to be part of Wrestlemania! Her debut is at The Grandest Stage of Them All! Rousey agrees, that is great.

But speaking of her contract, it says she gets to choose her opponent, doesn’t it? Yes, as long as it’s not one of the champions, and as long as that person is part of the active roster. In that case, Rousey chooses… Oh oh, big drum roll please! Rousey doesn’t wait for the drums, she chooses Stephanie!!

And the fans go wild! And while Stephanie tries to reason her way out of things, HHH appears. He won’t let this happen, and tells Angle to do his job. Stephanie is an executive, the Commissioner of Raw. Oh what happened to HHH not being here yet? Surprise, HHH is here already. But don’ worry about him, worry about your job. Angle agrees, Stephanie is an executive. But, there’s still her WWE Superstar contract. And Angle makes matches, so Stephanie will face Rousey at Wrestlemania. Fans sure love that! But that’s not all, there’s another person with two contracts. And angle promised HHH that he’d be coming for him. So it won’t just be Rousey VS Stephanie, it’ll be Stephanie & HHH VS Rousey… AND ANGLE!

The fans love the sound of that, but the Authority doesn’t. Stephanie gets in Angle’s face, but then Rousey blocks the slap!

HHH wants things to calm back down, and helps Stephanie get away. But then Angle and HHH brawl! Angle gets the best of HHH, but HHH boots back. HHH runs out, but gets caught into the Ankle Lock! He shoves Angle away into buckles, but Rousey steps up. Stephanie returns for the sucker punch! That only pisses Rousey off. Stephanie runs away, Rousey glaring at her the whole way. Then she turns her attention to HHH. HHH sees Angle returning, and goes for the Pedigree, only to end up in the Ankle Lock!

Angle grapevines it! Stephanie returns, reaches out and saves her husband. Only for Rousey to get her by her hair and yank her back in! Stephanie begs for mercy, but gets none! Rousey grabs the arm, fireman’s carry, and Samoan Drop!

Angle and Rousey stand tall over The Authority, will we see this again at Wrestlemania?

 

Asuka VS Nia Jax!

The Empress of Tomorrow’s Streak still lives after the Elimination Chamber PPV, but the Irresistible Force ran her over out of rage. This rematch gives Nia a second chance, can she take away Asuka’s main claim to fame before she challenges the Raw (or SmackDown) Women’s Champion?

The bell rings and the two circle. Nia lunges but Asuka strikes back. Nia puts her in a corner then flattens her twice, hip attack for the third time. Asuka crawls out of the corner but Nia is right back on her with a headbutt. Nia drags Asuka up to throw her to ropes. Asuka slips out of the ring, Nia lets her writhe out there. Meanwhile, Alexa Bliss & Mickie James have a backstage interview. The Goddess likes Nia’s chances of winning, because she is determined to win. Tonight is Nia’s night, and Asuka looks worried. The Empress’ luck runs out, because Nia will end both the streak and her career.

In the ring, Asuka tilt-o-whirls but into a side slam! Nia drags Asuka back up but then Asuka puts on an Octopus Stretch! She has Nia locked in, but Nia powers her way out. Asuka tries to roll Nia but Nia drags her up by her colorful hair. Nia shoves Asuka back into a corner while fans cheer Asuka on. The referee checks on Asuka, but Nia stomps her out. Nia drags Asuka up but Asuka fights back. Asuka tries to whip but Nia reverses. Asuka hops up, NIa gives her a rocking right hand, to then throw her with a spinning crucifix! Nia watches Asuka roll out of the ring while we go to break.

Raw returns to Nia thrashing Asuka around in a cobra clutch. Asuka fires up and fights out, then runs to hip attack Nia down. Cover, TWO, and with force! Asuka won’t let that scare her off, she goes after Nia agani. Nia powers Asuka to a corner and rams in a shoulder. She rolls Asuka to the center of the ring, then runs her over again! Cover, TWO, and Nia grows annoyed with Asuka. She drags Asuka up for the fireman’s carry, but Asuka fights out.

Nia throws Asuka to ropes, fireman’s carry and Samoan Drop hits! Nia crawls to a cover, ROPEBREAK! And Nia can’t believe it! She swipes at Asuka with both hands, then drags her up again. Another fireman’s carry, trophy lift, and a drop! Nia adds the leg drop, but Asuka evades! Asuka recovers while Nia crawls over, suddenly armbar! Nia endures, reaches, then sits up, but Asuka shifts into the Triangle!

Nia lifts, powerbomb! The hold stays on! Asuka squeezes and pulls as hard as she can but Nia pushes against her. No cover so another lift, and buckle bomb! Asuka keeps holding on, even after two more bombs! She brings Nia down again, but Nia keeps trying to get out. Nia tries another cover, but Asuka wont’ let her shoulders come down. Another deadlift, rebound to takedown! The armbar is on in full, and Nia endure. Nia taps out, and Asuka wins again!

More than anyone, Alexa Bliss is the one worried by this result. If Nia can’t win after all that, can Alexa hope to survive?

Nia stands up, and fans applaud the heart she showed. She hasn’t gotten any closer to the Women’s Championship, will she miss out on Wrestlemania completely?

 

The Revival VS The Bar!

The Swiss Cyborg and Celtic Gladiator misspoke when they said “there’s no one left to beat” for the Raw Tag Team Championships. The #TopGuys have beaten all the same teams as the champions have, so if they win here, they get a match for the Raw Tag Team Championships at Wrestlemania!

Sheamus and Scott Dawson start, tie up, and Sheamus elbows out of the waistlock to get the headlock takeover. Dawson grinds his way to a counter but Sheamus grinds back. Dawson powers out but Sheamus runs him over, and The Bar gloats. Sheamus brings Dawson up and tags in Cesaro, to go Super Saiyan kick. Cesaro taunts Dash, then tags in Sheamus, and The Bar mugs Dawson. Sheamus goes to put Dawson in the Bodhrain but Dash distracts, helping Dawson fight out and fight back with hyamkers and chops. Hotshot staggers Sheamus back, but Dawson runs into a lift. Dash saves Dawson then tags in, slingshot sunset flip for a clothesline, TWO. Sheamus tags in Cesaro and Cesaro runs in, but Dash lifts him to tag in Dawson, assisted gord buster.

Cover, TWO, and The Bar regroups. They take a breather while we go to break.

Raw returns, and Sheamus kicks Dawson to then tag in Cesaro. They hit the backbraeker elbow drop!

Cover, TWO. Cesaro keeps on Dawson, tags in Sheamus, and Sheamus blasts Dawson with a knee. Sheamus grounds Dawson, covers, ONE. The Bar keeps focus as Sheamus wrenches, but Dawson jawbreakers free. Dash tags in and saves Dawson from a slam, covers, Sheamus, ONE. The Revival keep on Sheamus, tagging Dawson in to stomp one of Sheamus’ arm. COver, ONE, but Dawson keeps on Sheamus at the ropes, messing up the Mohawk. Sheamus hits back but Dawson hits, too. They brawl, Dawson grabs the arm and grounds Sheamus again.

Sheamus endures the armlock and fights back. He lifts and dumps Dawson to then tag Cesaro. Cesaro goes for the Sharpshooter, Dash comes in but Cesaro trips him up. Dawson kicks and DDT’s, cover, TWO! The Revival know they’re close, but Cesaro whips Dawosn to his corner. Tag to Shemaus, who takes out Dash then barrels into Dawson. Stiff knee strike, then the lift, tag to Cesaro. Cesaro goes up but Dash distracts. Dawson trips up Cesaro then dodges Sheamus! Sheamus hits post, Dawson tags in Dash, and they go after Cesaro! Dawson climbs up to Cesaro while Dash does on the adjacent corner. Superplex, to frog splash! TWO!

The Revival are furious that they didn’t get this yet. Dawson tags back in, but Sheamus intercepts with a Brogue. Dawson suplexes Sheamus but Cesaro kicks him, Neutralizer! The Bar wins! The champions turn away the #TopGuys as contenders, now there really isn’t anyone left to defeat.

 

JOHN CENA is here!

The Face that Runs the Place and WWE free agent is back again. He went to SmackDown, as stated, and literally won his way into a WWE Championship match at Fastlane! So then why is he back on Raw? To talk to us about SmackDown. It is a difficult subject because of brand rivalry but he asks us to listen. He lets Milwaukee know he has found his Road to Wrestlemania, and even Kurt Angle recognizes the importance of Fastlane. Cena does not take his free agent status lightly, so there in lies the question, why is he here? Cena explains that because it is a Six Pack Challenge, his five opponents–Baron Corbin, Dolph Ziggler, Sami Zayn, Kevin Owens and especially WWE Champion, AJ Styles– won’t let him speak his piece in peace.

Therefore, he is back on Raw to say “This is it.” Cena vows to break a 20-year record! He vows that this Sunday, he will win the WWE World Championship to become a 17 time world champion. All records are meant to be broken, because this is his “only Road to Wrestlemania.” Cena has been smothered with criticism, that he’s only here to “hold people back.” He was not given success, he was given a chance. Cena was given a chance and he used it to beat AJ Styles, 1 2 3.

He will never be one to hold someone else back. When Cena wins, critics will come out to say he’s “robbed” us of a Wrestlemania moment. No, Cena encourages Styles to make a greater moment by using his rematch clause to make things a triple threat: Shinsuke Nakamura VS John Cena VS AJ Styles! But wait, Goldust appears?

The Bizarre One says “I coulda been a contender.” On the Waterfront, 1954. But movie quotes aside, we have our “leading man”, John Cena. Goldust has always dreamed of sharing “the silver screen” with Cena. He’s always dreamed of “soaking in the spotlight” at Wrestlemania. But that dream begins with Goldust stopping John Cena from going to Wrestlemania. Goldust explains that his dreams have never had that “perfect ending”, it’s all just taken from him. His pretty little rainbows have grayed with evil. “That ends today.” If Cena wants to go to Wrestlemania for the WWE Championship, that’s fine, that’s his dream. But Goldust is taking control of things, as Cena’s “director”. Tonight, Cena’s dreams will be SHATTERED! Goldust decks Cena! And we quickly go to break!

 

Goldust VS John Cena!

Raw returns with this match already going, and Goldust has Cena down again. Goldust takes a deep breath, then drags Cena up for a punch. Cena blocks and counters with punches, but Goldust gives Cena the atomic drop. Goldust kicks then covers, TWO. The Bizarre One keeps his cool as he stalks Cena, knocking him back down to the mat. Cena crawls, but Goldust bings him up for another atomic drop. Cena dodges and double clotheslines bring them down. Both men stir, heading for ropes. Goldust and Cena stand up, and Goldust dodges Cena in a corner. Cena bounces off buckles, Goldust covers, TWO. Goldust keeps on Cena with hammering hands, and mocks the great John Cena. Then he digs his claws into Cena before taking another deep breath, but Cena hits back! Cena runs, but into the powerslam, cover, TWO!

Goldust gets frustrated but he stands up. He drops an elbow on Cena, then claws him again. Cena still stands up but GOldust is ready. Cena fakes out the slam to put Goldust in a sleeper hold! Goldust low blows behind the ref’s back! Cover, TWO! Goldust can’t believe his trickery didn’t work. But he keeps his cool as he stands over Cena. Cena crawls his way up, but Goldust is upon him while fans duel. He swings, Cena dodges and starts to rally with shoulder tackles! Spin-out powerbomb, then “You Can’t See Me!” Five Knuckle Shuffle hits, and Cena lifts Goldust, AA! Cena wins, and gains momentum towards Fastlane! Will Sunday see history made even before Wrestlemania?

 

Elias visits Angle in his office.

The Drifter knows the GM has had a busy night. Angle should just cancel the Symphony of Destruction match. It all sends the wrong message. Music should bring people together, not tear them apart. Angle will considered it. Decision made, he’s not cancelling it. Then whatever happens to Braun Strowman tonight is on Angle. That’s fine. But before Elias leaves, he should know that leaving ringside won’t do anything, because it will be a Falls Count Anywhere Symphony of Destruction match. Elias accepts, but can he survive the concert of carnage the Monster Among Men has waiting for him?

 

The newest WWE Hall of Fame inductee: Hillbilly Jim!

Hulk Hogan took this big fan of the WWE under his wing and made him a certified superstar! Jim the “big ol’ country boy” was a big hit, and helped bring the WWE into the mainstream. “Good food, good meat, thank you Lord, cuz we gon’ eat.” He captured the hearts of fans all over the world, and lived the American dream.

 

Bayley VS Mandy Rose w/ Absolution!

The Hugger stood by her best friend for as long as she could, given how her friend treated her. She swerved The Legit Boss on a tag, and explains beforehand that this “surprising” action was- Well, no explanation, as the Glampire leads her girls down to the ring.

Paige congratulates Bayley for finally growing a backbone. Bayley’s a big girl now, but is still “a stupid little kid”. Sasha Banks is the only person who cares about Bayley, and there is strength in numbers. If you have no one, you have nothing. Can Bayley win all on her own when God’s Greatest Creation has her team ringside?

The bell rings, the two circle, and Bayley gets the waistlock. Mandy works her way out, elbow and a takedown, then cartwheels past Bayley before dropping her with a dropkick. Mandy taunts Bayley and they circle again. They tie up, Bayley gets the wristlock and yanks on Mandy’s arm. Bayley shifts to an armlock but Mandy whips. Bayley reverses, things speed up, Mandy picks Bayley up to put her in a corner. Mandy then scoops Bayley for a slam, cover, TWO. Bayley powers Mandy back now and rams in her shoulder. Bayley rolls back, wacky waving back elbow! She keeps moving, but Mandy bails out. Absolution regroups while we go to break.

Raw returns to Mandy squeezing Bayley in a chinlock. Bayley endures, even as Absolution taunts her. She sits up, and fans rally for her. She stands up and fights out, but Mandy kicks low and suplexes. Mandy holds Bayley up there, then brings her down for a forearm! Absolution applauds while she covers, TWO. Mandy keeps on Bayley, but Bayley hits back. Bayley slips under to backslide, ONE, but into a small package, TWO. Mandy evades and knee strikes Bayley right down! Cover, TWO, and Absolution grows frustrated. Mandy keeps on Bayley with a rain of rights, then covers, TWO. Mandy keeps focus as she stalks Bayley to ropes. She drags Bayley up, but Bayley shoves her away. Bayley throws Mandy out to the apron then hits her with the hotshot stunner!

Both women gasp for air, but Bayley is up to rally with double ax handles. She then tackles Mandy and unloads rights. She keeps going, bumping Mandy off buckles again and again and again. Saido suplex, then Bayley hops up. Sonya distracts but Bayley still hits a flying elbow on Mandy. Sonya tries again, Bayley knocks her down, Mandy tries a roll up, but Bayley slips out! Bayley rolls Mandy, Bayley wins! But Absolution pounces, hammering and kneeing Bayley on the mat. However, here comes Sasha!

The Boss is still a friend as she tackles Sonya. Mandy goes after Sasha but Sasha hits back. Sasha sends Absolution running, then helps her friend to her feet.

Sasha wants a hug, but Bayley refuses?! Bayley shakes her head and leaves by herself. Is their friendship on the verge of being done for good?

 

March is Women’s History Month, and WWE is proud to celebrate it.

WWE honors Eunice Kennedy Shriver for her fight to help those with intellectual disabilities. Shriver was a founder of the Special Olympic Games, which still thrives to this day. Her passion and dedication to public service and humanitarian work earned her the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 1984, inspiring us all to care for all people.

 

Nia is backstage in the medical area.

She’s icing her arm after that match with Asuka, when Alexa Bliss & Mickie James come over. Alexa has Mickie leave her alone with Nia so they can talk.

Nia must be disappointed, losing to Asuka twice already. Alexa has never seen Nia give up like this, it must be embarrassing. But Alexa doesn’t want Nia to feel like a failure or that she’s let everyone down. She has friends, and even though they don’t get to face each other at Wrestlemania this year, there’s always next year. Don’t be ashamed of what just happened, be proud of yourself for everything you’ve overcome. Nia’s been an outcast, just because she was bigger. Even now, Alexa sees how others look at Nia. Alexa knows Nia is no quitter. Don’t let this stop you, Nia. “Because if you do, everyone will lose all respect for you.” Nia cries. Her arm aside, is her spirit broken?

 

Braun Strowman speaks.

“Elias, I know you’re sweating bullets, because tonight, you find out about my Symphony of Destruction.” The Monster Among Men isn’t finished with Elias. Elias will not only #GetTheseHands, but the keys, the drums and anything else. Tonight begins the countdown to Elias’ extinction! Can the Drifter survive the musical mutilation Strowman is about to bring?

 

 

Falls Count Anywhere Symphony of Destruction match: Elias VS Braun Strowman!

“Ladies and Gentlemen, Elias.”

The Drifter is on the piano this time, tickling the ivories instead of plucking guitar strings. The Living Amongst The Dead breathes life into everything he does, touches and says. And as always, he must ask, “Who wants to walk with Elias?!” Milwaukee sounds pretty eager to. Symphonies are “classy, sophisticated”, the exact opposite of Milwaukee. It’s no surprise that Elias has mastered more than guitar. He is not a one trick pony, he moves over to drums. And he goes to his standard and says that the Monster Among Men lives in Elias’ World. And everyone in the world knows that WWE really means “Walk With Elias!” Pay close attention, Strowman, this song is for you. So please, silence phones, hold applause and shut mouths so he can begin.

“I’m out here again, it’s Monday night. I’m getting ready for Braun, getting ready for a fight.” Elias is gonna win, unlike the Brewers and Bucks.” One thing Elias loves about Milwaukee is that “this place sucks!” Elias is not afraid of The Monster Among Men, because there ain’t nothing he can do. He wants a proper introduction, so he has the lights go down to reintroduce him. But when the spotlight hits, Elias is running away!

He slips backstage, glancing over his shoulder. Elias makes it to a car waiting for him, starts it up, but then looks in the back. Strowman is holding the car back with pure strength! So Elias gets out an runs! Strowman pursues Elias all the way back to ringside!

The bell rings and this match begins! Strowman kicks Elias all the way down the ramp and towards the ring. He bounces Elias off the apron then puts him into the ring. Elias knocks over his stool, and Strowman clobbers him towards a corner. Strowman throws Elias across the ring, then crushes him in a corner. He clubs Elias in the chest, and the fans roar triumphantly for him. Strowman stalks Elias, then scoops him up. Elias fights out of the slam then goes after the leg with chop blocks. Elias grabs his guitar and SMASHES it on Strowman’s back! He keeps going on Strowman with haymakers, then runs for a knee strike. Strowman’s down but Elias climbs up. Elias takes aim, leaps, and hits the Macho Elbow! Cover, ONE!!

Strowman gets to his feet but Elias is upon him. Elias tries but is denied his Drift Away, Strowman sends him out with an uppercut. Strowman stalks Elias again before kicking him up the ramp. Strowman drags Elias up and over to the announce desk! He clears it all off, then nods to the fans. Strowman lifts Elias up, but Elias rakes the eyes. Elias thinks he’s safe, but Strowman turns around to knock him into the LED wall! Strowman then bowls him through the spare guitars, and stalks him around the drum kit. Strowman clubs Elias down with a double ax handle, and then sees his old friend in the bass cello. The fans chant “YES! YES!” and Strowman SMASHES Elias with the cello! An encore from weeks ago, but the concert isn’t done yet.

Strowman slides Elias under the piano, then plays monster chords. Then, Strowman kicks the drums away, and lifts the piano, to slam it down on Elias!

Elias is pinned down by the piano, but Strowman pulls it off to cover, Strowman wins!

The Monster Among Men played a beautifully painful piece for Elias, and leaves him laying on the stage. Elias does receive medical attention, and is stretchered out. Is this the night the Drifter’s music died?

 

WWE makes a MAJOR announcement!

 

Bray Wyatt VS Rhyno w/ Heath Slater!

The Eater of Worlds continues his Great War with WOKEN Matt Hardy, but first looks to use the One Man Band and the ManBeast as cannon fodder once more. This is also payback for last week when Bray didn’t even wait for things to be a match. Can the ECW original best the Face of Fear before the next battle with Hardy?

The bell rings and Rhyno goes right at Bray! He puts Bray in a corner and fires off furious right hands. The ref brings him back, Bray boots back and runs Rhyno over with a lariat. Bray then slithers upside-down to stare Slater down.

He returns to Rhyno to rain down right hands, then reel Rhyno into Sister Abigail! Bray glares at Slater before covering, Bray wins!

Swift but sinister, and scary as always as he stares Slater down, this even more disturbed Bray Wyatt calls Hardy out. “Come out and show your face, you coward!” The Great War is far from over, so Hardy does show his face.

“Bray Wyatt, I concur. The Great War is far from over~!” But if they are to clash, it cannot be contained within the realm of WWE. There is only ONE battlefield worthy of their cosmic combat: The Hardy Compound~~! The WOKEN Wisdom invites Bray to his battlefield, and dares him to prepare for ULTIMATE DELETION!

 

It’s the Third Annual Mizzies Awards Show!

The Most Must-See Superstar in all of WWE brings us the “cherished institution” that recognizes true greatness. Otherwise The Shape of Water wouldn’t have won over The Marine 5. Get Out is what Angle should’ve done as GM. But enough about The Oscars, Miz honors the best of WWE. The first category: The Superstar Best at Patting Themselves on the Back.

The nominees are: Seth Rollins for bragging about lasting 65 minutes before losing; Kurt Angle for being a good father to his illegitimate son 29 years late; and Finn Balor for being the inaugural Universal Champion for only 24 hours, and failing to keep his promise of getting it back asap. Miz himself is 55 days away from being the (total) longest reigning Intercontinental Champion of all time. And the winner is: a tie! Rollins and Finn win, but cannot accept the award because they weren’t invited to the show.

The second category: Worst Decision by a Raw General Manager.

The nominees are: Kurt Angle for bringing his “bastard son” to Raw; Kurt Angle for letting Rollins & Finn both be in the Elimination Chamber match; and Kurt Angle for failing to name a proper opponent for The Miz at Wrestlemania. And the winner is: by unanimous vote, Kurt Angle! But he can’t accept the award, he’s sucking up to Ronda Rousey. At least this will help his resume when out looking for a new job. Especially when Angle loses to Stephanie & HHH.

This third award is a Lifetime Achievement Award, for the “workhorse of the WWE”. This superstar makes wherever he is on the Wrestlemania card “the main event.” However, Seth Rollins appears!

Rollins was enjoying the show, but Milwaukee was practically begging for someone to play Miz off. But it’s not just Rollins, here comes Finn Balor!

Finn is all smiles but Rollins brings up how he keeps interrupting. Is he here to follow Rollins again? No, he’s here to do Rollins one better. Miz does them both one better. Angle said those matches might determine who faces Miz at Wrestlemania, because neither of them deserves it. Rollins always loses. “Nobody makes losing look better than you.” Except for maybe Finn. What has Finn done since giving up the title? Yet he’s “over”? This isn’t Japan, this is the WWE! You have to bust your butt each and every day. To be “over”, you need more than “a hand-sign that’s not even yours.” But these two think they’re so special just because they beat Miz in a handicap match? How about we do something really big? A 3v2 handicap, The Miztourage VS Rollins & Balor! The fans want it, challenge accepted!

 

3v2 Handicap: The Miz & Miztourage VS Seth Rollins & Finn Balor!

The Hollywood A-Lister had strong words for the Architect and Extraordinary Man, but now he’ll have to back them up. Can he, Bo Dallas & Curt Axel best the two men who bested Miz consecutively last week?

Finn starts against Axel with the bell. They tie up, Finn gets the wristlock, then the arm wrench. He snapmares Axel then wrenches the arm more. Axel stands up and puts Finn against ropes to knee and club. Axel whips but Finn reverses, Axel sunset flips but Finn rolls through to dropkick! Cover, TWO, but Finn is back on Axel’s arm. Rollins applauds, then offers a tag. Finn takes it, and Rollins climbs up to flying ax handle Axel’s arm. Axel kicks back, then bumps Rollins off buckles. He tags in Bo, and The Miztourage whips Rollins. Rollins kicks them away and throws Axel out before hip tossing Bo down. Bo gets up, Rollins dropkicks him down, then Rollins swipes at the creeping Miz. Bo pounces and stomps Rollins out.

Tag to Miz, and the Intercontinental Champion boots Rollins in the face. Cover, ONE, but Miz keeps on Rollins. He tags in Axel, and snapmares Rollins for Axel’s neck snap. Cover, TWO, so Axel puts Rollins in an armlock and chinbar. Rollins gets up as fans rally, but Axel knees low. He whips Rollins and stiffly dropkicks him down, then gloats while Miz and Bo cheer him on. Axel tags in Bo, they mug Rollins to the mat. Cover, TWO, but Bo wraps on a chinlock. Finn gets the fans to rally for Rollins, and Rollins fights back. He chops Bo, but Bo whips him away from the tag. Rollins boots Bo, then dives to tag Finn!

Finn rallies on The Miztourage, take down to double stomp! Bo gets to a corner while Finn flexes. Finn scares off Miz, then gives Bo a running chop.

Corner to corner and another chop. Finn tires a third but Bo reverses, only for Finn to go up and over. Bo boots Finn, then hops up, but Finn swing kicks Bo down. Finn stalks Bo, drags him up but Miz distracts. Finn chases Miz, sees Axel coming but not Bo, Bo runs Finn over. The Miztourage is in control while we go to break.

Raw returns and Finn jawbreakers out of the chinlock. Axel shoves Finn back to forearm him on the rebound, but Finn hits back with a Pele! Both men are down but Finn gets the hot tag. Hot tag to Miz, but Rollins hits the springboard flying clothesline! He hops up but jumps over Miz, to enziguri Miz down. The fans fire up with Rollins as he goes corner to corner to clothesline Miz. Suplex and float over to Falcon Arrow!

Cover, TWO! Rollins keeps his cool as he stalks Miz. He tunes up the band then takes aim, mule kick but Bo gets in the way. Rollins knocks Bo down, but Miz gets the full nelson! Miz lifts, Rollins rolls to counter, TWO! Mule kick hits again, cover, but Axel breaks it. Rollins throws Axel out, then evades Miz to build speed and DIVE! Direct hit on both Bo & Axel!

Rollins returns in the ring, clotheslines Miz out, then Rollins takes aim again. He watches them regroup, but Finn tags in! Finn and Rollins argue it out, but The Miztourage flanks them. Rollins takes Bo & Axel out, Finn hits Miz. Finn builds speed to FLY onto Bo & Axel! He flexes while Miz gets back in the ring, Slingblade! Then, blasting dropkick! Miz goes down, Finn climbs up, but Rollins tags in! Rollins curb Stomps Miz! Cover, Rollins & Balor win! While they both win, the Architect pinned the champion. What does this mean for the IC Championship? Kurt Angle appears to clear that up.

Angle has a match for ‘Mania, time to announce Miz’s. He won’t be competing against Rollins, or against Balor, he’ll be competing against them both in a Triple Threat! “It’s true, it’s damn true.” Wrestlemania is 43 days away, will Miz be denied history a couple weeks short?

 

The Advocate, Paul Heyman, is here!

And as he is carrying the belt for the “reigning, defending, undisputed Universal Heavyweight Champion, BROCK LESNAR” with him, he is here to “deliver a message on behalf of my client.” Heyman is here to “set the record straight.” He is here, resting the title down in the ring, “because Brock Lesnar allows” Heyman to touch it. And after Lesnar successfully defends this title, April 8th at Wrestlemania against Roman Reigns, assuming he chooses to defend again at Summerslam, Heyman will come out and lay the title down again, and right next to it will be the UFC world heavyweight title as well. Roman had a lot to say about The Beast, he took it upon himself to criticize Lesnar’s schedule.

Heyman asks Roman, what’s the biggest victory of your career? Defeating the Undertaker at Wrestlemania. Good for Roman, because he is only one of two men to do that. Did anyone bring up Undertaker’s schedule? No, because if anyone did, it would be “bullshit”! The Undertaker is the Undertaker 365 days a year, so good for Roman. Lesnar is Lesnar 365 days a year, but no one will beat Lesnar nor take that title from him. If Roman doesn’t like hearing this, then next week, Roman can meet Lesnar on Raw. And “Afa” that, Roman can “Sika” new title to challenge for, because the Universal title belongs to Lesnar.

And while Heyman is still here, he recalls Roman calling Lesnar “a bitch.” The title is Lesnar’s “bitch”, as in she belongs to Lesnar. Roman is eyeing Lesnar’s girl, but he can’t have her. Roman wants to be Universal Champion because of his bloodline, but the Universal Championship is a bloodline. You don’t pry the title out of Lesnar’s cold dead hands, you try to take them from his hot living ones.

Lesnar’s always wanted to be Number One, so Heyman will spell it out: this is not a belt, not a strap, prop, or anything else; this is a declaration that you are Number One in the Universe. This belt lets someone tell their children that daddy is better than everyone, “the biggest dog in the biggest yard”, the number one on Earth and in the known universe. It’s not how bad you want the title, it’s how bad the title wants you.

This is the sacrifice you must make to be Universal Champion: the Saturday night before Wrestlemania and you get a phone call that something really bad happened to your father, you can’t. That’s because this title needs you to defend it. Then after defending it, you still can’t fly away to family, because then there’s the Raw after ‘Mania and the title needs to be shown off. And then maybe if you don’t go to SmackDown, then and only then do you go home. The title needs you more, loves you more, and lusts for you more, because it is everything that you are and you are everything that is the title. Roman Reigns, if you still want to meet Lesnar on Raw in Detroit, go ahead, and say whatever you want. Because you don’t want to shoot with Heyman, or shoot with BROCK LESNAR.

However, Roman Reigns appears!

Heyman stays in the ring, belt on the mat, while Roman enters the ring. Roman lets Heyman pick the belt up before speaking. “Milwaukee, this is what I’m talking about.” Roman said a lot of stuff, harsh but true, and yet what does Lesnar do? He sends Heyman for the rebuttal. “Brock really is a bitch, isn’t he?” Roman isn’t asking for anything other than Lesnar to show up. The fans ask for the same thing. But that’s still not enough. Lesnar should want to be here. Roman keeps it simple: if Lesnar is in Detroit next week, so is Roman. And Heyman can tell Lesnar that Lesnar can say whatever he wants, but don’t come looking for a promo segment, come looking for a fight!

Roman lets Heyman leave with his message. What will the fallout be when Beast and Big Dog truly come face-to-face?!

 

My Thoughts:

A pretty good episode right here. We get the Rousey plans finally established, and they’re upped to a mixed tag match for her debut. Not quite the best thing, as Stephanie is just using this to include herself in the fun, but this is probably the most fun option for it since it’ll have Angle and HHH joining in. Not sure what the build will be, but I’m kind of hoping we get videos of HHH training Stephanie back into wrestling shape. Opening with the Asuka VS Nia rematch was a nice surprise, and this match was a really gritty step up from Elimination Chamber. Asuka of course wins to keep her Streak and momentum alive, but what was really impressive was Nia’s reaction. Her segment with Alexa was some grade A given how expertly veiled all of Alexa’s mean comments were, and how Nia cried on cue.

I’m not sure what The Bar gains by not having Wrestlemania opponents, even if their match proved they can do what The Revival does as good as The Revival. Perhaps with no clear contender, there will be a huge series of matches to determine who The Bar faces and how. Cena being back on Raw so soon makes some sense, and his match with Goldust was a great “impromptu” moment, but I was kinda hoping either he would stay on SmackDown or at least have a slightly longer match with Goldy. Bayley meanwhile has a real fun match with Mandy, but the development between her and Sasha is the real meat of the segment. It may not be that Bayley is going Heel, but she might never side with Sasha again. And while Elias is great, Strowman is greater, and their entire segment was gold, these guys need gold.

Speaking of gold, ULTIMATE DELETION better be pure BROKEN Brilliance or WWE will truly disappoint fans. Then the Intercontinental Championship getting a Triple Threat is great, and it makes it so it’ll be a little bit harder to predict who wins. Rollins getting it would be great so that The Shield members are all Grand Slam Champions, while also ruining Miz’s history-making moment. Ending on the Universal Championship segment was good, and continuing to keep Lesnar away is really helping the story. More fans are slowly shifting to Roman’s side, not because it’s Roman but because it’s the full-timer over the part-timer. I just hope next week’s face-to-face doesn’t turn into tug-of-war like it did before WM31, but into a brawl like it always should.

My Score: 8/10


Let us know what you think on social media @theCHAIRSHOTcom and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
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Coverage

Mitchell’s WWE Monday Night Raw Results & Report! (3/25/19)

Kurt Angle’s Farewell Tour leads him to who!?

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WWE Raw Cover image

Raw grows wilder as Mania draws nearer! Will Ronda Rousey face any consequences? Will Roman Reigns accept Drew McIntyre’s challenge? Angle VS SAMOA JOE?!

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Beat the Clock Challenge: Ronda Rousey VS Sarah Logan; Rousey wins in 1:25.
  • Beat the Clock Challenge: Charlotte Flair VS Ruby Riott; Flair fails the Beat the Clock Challenge.
  • Beat the Clock Challenge: Becky Lynch VS Liv Morgan; Lynch wins in 1:18, and wins the challenge.
  • WWE Intercontinental Championship Contender’s Handicap Match: Bobby Lashley & Lio Rush VS Finn Balor; changed to…
  • WWE Intercontinental Championship Contender’s Handicap Match: Bobby Lashley w/ Lio Rush & Jinder Mahal w/ The Singh Brothers; Finn wins and will challenge Bobby Lashley for the title at Wrestlemania.
  • Aleister Black & Ricochet VS The Revival; Black & Ricochet win.
  • Sasha Banks w/ Bayley VS Natalya w/ Beth Phoenix; Banks wins, by disqualification.
  • Baron Corbin VS Apollo Crews; Corbin wins.
  • Kurt Angle VS Samoa Joe; Angle wins.
  • Last Man Standing: Drew McIntyre VS Dean Ambrose; McIntyre wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Beat the Clock Challenge: Ronda Rousey VS Sarah Logan!

The Raw Women’s Champion and her two Wrestlemania opponents will main event Wrestlemania! But that’s in a couple weeks. Tonight, there’s a lot of pride on the line as the Baddest Woman on the Planet divides up the Riott Squad with The Queen and The Man! Who will be the fastest winner on Raw to have bragging rights going into New York?

Before the match, Ronda picks up the mic. Boston wants Becky but they’ll have to hear the champ out first. “For the first time ever, women are going to be the main event at Wrestlemania!” The Raw Women’s Championship, Rousey VS Flair VS Lynch! And Ronda only has one thing left to say: “You’re welcome.” She throws down the mic, but then picks it back up to say something else. Not that the fans appreciate any of her words. Ronda vows to make Charlotte and Becky tap out at the same time! But just as she drops the mic, she picks it up again. She has no idea what this Beat the Clock Challenge is, it sound stupid, so let’s just get this farce over with. Now she’s done talking. Sarah Logan makes her way out and the challenge truly begins!

But wait! The Man makes sure to come out and say something herself! “It’s good to be back in Boston!” And Ronnie, stop being so weird. Ronda came here with her big money contract and the whole world yawned. Every opportunity, every advantage, the best of the best, and yet no one gave a damn until The Man came around! The fans know that the best thing to happen to Ronda is Becky! That’s why they’re the main event of Mania! And one more thing, Ronda knows how this ends: Ronda’s title above Becky’s head, and her own head beneath Becky’s boot.

But here comes The Queen, too! Charlotte has her own mic and just hears “Blah blah blah”. Yes, the women are the main event! But not because of Becky nor because of Ronda. It’s all because of what Charlotte’s done! That’s why she was handpicked to be the main event! Charlotte and Becky stand-by ringside while Ronda finally gets to her Beat the Clock Challenge with Sarah.

The bell rings and the timer starts counting while Sarah bails out! Ronda gives chase and Sarah keeps away from Ronda. Ruby and Liv try to block Ronda’s path but Ronda blasts through them. Sarah turns around and dropkicks Ronda down! Then she whips Ronda hard into ropes! Ronda clutches her arm while Sarah stomps away. Sarah grabs the legs and ties them up for an inverted cloverleaf! Ronda endures the leg hold as Sarah drags her away from the ropes! Ronda grits her teeth and sees the clock climb as she claws her way back. She gets the ropes but then climbs up and around  to drag Sarah into a hanging armbar! She lets go at 4 but goes after Sarah with a SUPERWOMAN PUNCH! Ronda puts on the armbar and Sarah taps! Ronda wins!

Winner: Ronda Rousey, by submission, and in 1:25

The time has been set, will either Queen or Man be able to do better than the Baddest Woman on the Planet?

Charlotte steps into the ring and takes her turn.

Beat the Clock Challenge: Charlotte Flair VS Ruby Riott!

The bell rings and the time ticks down. Charlotte goes fast but Ruby dodges and dumps her out! Charlotte hurries back in and boots Ruby down. She CHOPS and CHOPS on Ruby, then gets a takedown. Ruby pushes Charlotte away and we hit the minute warning. Ruby kicks Charlotte on her return, then wrenches. Charlotte decks Ruby with a right! Then hits the backbreaker to STO! Charlotte has to hurry, but Ruby dodges Natural Selection! Ruby gets a complete shot! Cover, TWO!! Ruby just has to play defense with 20 seconds left. She grabs Charlotte’s arm and toys with her. Riott Kick, CAUGHT! Figure Four on, Figure Eight! Ruby holds on, time runs out!!

Charlotte fails the Beat the Clock Challenge

Ronda knew Charlotte wouldn’t, but now Becky wants her shot.

Beat the Clock Challenge: Becky Lynch VS Liv Morgan!

The Man is ready but the Juvenile Delinquent distracts her, and Charlotte BOOTS Becky in that distraction! The Queen takes her frustrations out on her, and then lets Liv do what she wants. Liv shouts for the bell and it rings. Liv fires off a mudhole stomp on Becky but backs off at 4 with shrill shrikes. She stomps Becky right back down then drags her to a cover, TWO! The Squad keeps Liv focused as she thrashes Becky around in a chinlock. Becky endures as we reach less than a minute. Boston rallies and Becky fights her way up. Becky arm-drags out then throws haymakers and European Uppercuts! Things speed up as Becky rallies! Calf kick at 30 seconds but Becky keeps going.

Becky wants the arm but Liv school boys Becky into buckles! Liv gets away with 15 seconds, but her code breaker is blocked! Jackknife cover, Becky wins!!

Winner: Becky Lynch, by pinfall

And with seven seconds to spare! Ronda doesn’t care, because what does this matter in a Triple Threat? But Becky still feels good that she did better than both Ronnie and Charlie. Will she feel great when she beats them both for the title?

 

WWE Intercontinental Championship Contender’s Handicap Match: Bobby Lashley & Lio Rush VS Finn Balor!

The Extraordinary Man managed to beat both the Almighty and the Man of the Hour in a situation like this before, but now he has to do it again to earn a title match at Wrestlemania. Lashley & Lio come out and Lio tells Finn’s Road to Wrestlemania goes through them. This is not a road Finn wants to be on. Finn could’ve quit while he’s ahead, but now he’ll be forced to leave the game as a hot piece of garbage, just like Gronkowski. Boston takes offense to that. But as much as Lio wants to be part of ending Finn’s dreams, it’s Braun Strowman’s fault that he’s not medically cleared to compete. But that’s okay, Lashley has a different tag team partner now: Jinder Mahal!

WWE Intercontinental Championship Contender’s Handicap Match: Bobby Lashley w/ Lio Rush & Jinder Mahal w/ The Singh Brothers!

The Modern Day Maharaja joins forces with the Rocky Mountain Machine! Will they leave Finn for dead on the side of the Road to Wrestlemania?

The bell rings and Lashley starts. Fans fire up for Finn as he ties up with Lashley. Lashley knees low then throws Finn to his corner. Lashley throws body shots then puts Finn in another corner for more body shots. He whips Finn corner to corner hard, but Finn dodges! Finn shoulders in but has to fight off Mahal and the Singh Brothers! Lio distracts and Lashley blasts Finn down! The deck is stacked for Finn as we go to break.

Raw returns and Finn fires forearms on Lashley. But Lashley shoves Finn back and tackles him into the corner! Lashley rams his shoulder in on Finn again and again but backs off at 4. Lashley goes corner to corner but Finn Slingblades him down! Mahal tags in and whips Finn. Finn reverses, Mahal sunset flips but Finn rolls through to dropkick Mahal down! Finn dodges Mahal and forearms Mahal into Lashley! Then he gets Mahal with the elbow drop DDT! Lashley returns but gets a takedown and double stomps! Finn clotheslines Mahal out! Finn builds speed but the Singhs swipe his feet! Mahal returns but Finn sends him out, to FLY! He hits EVERYONE! Finn puts Mahal in fast, then climbs up top! COUP DE GRACE!! Cover, Finn wins!

Winner: Finn Balor, by pinfall; NEW #1 Contender to the WWE Intercontinental Championship

He’s going to Wrestlemania! Lashley again loses because of who he teams with, but now it’ll be Finn and Lashley 1v1.  Lashley takes his anger out on the Singhs, then SPEARS Mahal! Will Finn finally get the better of Bobby directly? Or will he get dominated by the Dominator on the Grandest Stage of Them All?

 

Ladies and Gentlemen: Elias.

The Drifter is already in New York, Times Square even. There have been many iconic stars performing on Broadway, but Elias will be bigger than them all! Times Square is buzzing to walk with Elias. Elias has gotten used to this, so he’ll play something for us. Wait, this other bearded guitarist wants in. Elias is a solo act. But typical New Yorkers: big ego, little talent. Go sell out a subway station, Elias has Mania to focus on. Will Elias really be the hit he thinks he is?

 

Aleister Black & Ricochet VS The Revival!

The Embodiment of the End and the King of Flight look to take over Tag Team wrestling in the WWE from NXT to the main roster. The Dusty Rhodes Classic isn’t quite over, but can this unexpected duo stake a claim for the Raw Tag Team Championships in time for Wrestlemania?

Forget the bell, it’s time to brawl! The moment Dash & Dawson hit the ring, Aleister & Ricochet start hitting them! Dash & Dawson turn things around and whip Aleister and Ricochet at each other, but Aleister gives Ricochet a boost to missile dropkick Dawson down! Aleister then throws forearms and kicks on Dash. Ricochet adds an enziguri and Dash cowers in his corner. Fans chant for “NXT! NXT!” as Aleister dares Dash to bring the fight. The bell rings and Dawson anchors Aleister’s feet! Dash fires off then tags in Dawson. The Revival mug Aleister then put him in an open corner. Dawson throws uppercuts then drags Aleister out for a hammerlock. Dawson brings Aleister to the mat but Aleister endures.

Fans rally as Aleister works his way up. Aleister powers his way towards his corner but Dawson throws body shots and forearms. Aleister roundhouses Dawson down then tags in Ricochet! The unexpected duo double whip then leap frog with Dawson, before Aleister sweeps the legs and Ricochet adds a basement dropkick! Dash runs in but is sent right back out! Aleister fakes The Revival out, but Ricochet gets them around the corner! Dash goes down but Dawson gets a Meteora! The #TopGuys are down on the ground while we go to break.

Raw returns and Dawson grinds his forearm in Ricochet’s face. Fans rally as Ricochet endures the seated abdominal stretch, then stands up and heads for his corner. Aleister reaches out to him but Dawson scoop slams Ricochet down. Dawson drops but misses the elbow, and again! Dash tags in as Ricochet rolls to the apron. Ricochet shoulders in then slingshots, but into Dash’s arms! Dash and Dawson combine for an assisted brain buster! Cover, TWO! Ricochet survives and The Revival grows frustrated. Dash drags Ricochet over but Ricochet throws forearms. Dash knees low then Dawson tags back in. Dawson stomps and toys with Ricochet, then whips. Ricochet kicks Dawson down, but Dash tags in. Dash runs over but Ricochet dodges to get him with a neckbreaker!

Ricochet and Dash are down but crawling for their corners. Dash tags Dawson, Ricochet tags Aleister! Aleister rallies on The Revival! Aleister sweeps the legs to drive in the knee! Dash returns, but The Revival get a double quebrada! Aleister throws Dash out then goes after Dawson. Dawson punches but gets a strike fest! Another swift knee, cover, TWO! Aleister keeps his focus as he stalks Dawson. He lifts Dawson with his foot but Dash drags Ricochet off the apron! Aleister goes after Dash but Dawson sunset flips! TWO, and both men dodge. Dawson fakes Aleister out for a DDT! Cover, but Ricochet breaks it! Dash shoves Aleister out and The Revival double whips. Ricochet tags in and Aleister goes up and over. Aleister hits a DOUBLE Black Mass?! Ricochet hits his 630! Cover, Ricochet & Aleister win!

Winners: Aleister Black & Ricochet, Ricochet pinning

The Revival miscalculate and now NXT’s air strike has another victory! But The Revival are quick to point out they’re still the champions. Will the #TopGuys have to put those titles on the line at Wrestlemania against the Dutch Destroyer and the One and Only?

 

Drew McIntyre is here!

The Scottish Terminator vows to destroy The Shield one by one! He made his challenge to Roman Reigns last week, will he get his answer? We find out, after the break.

Raw returns and McIntyre has a mic. “I don’t give a damn if you like me, but you will respect me.” McIntyre says a week is a long time to wait for an answer. He’s actually a little nervous, and Roman might still be unsure what to say. So McIntyre will share some footage, and wants us to know that he could’ve finished Roman any time but didn’t. The footage is as expected, McIntyre attacking Roman Reigns from out of nowhere and kicking his head into a post. Then last week, McIntyre challenged Roman to a match but actually wants Roman to say “No” because of how badly McIntyre will beat him at Wrestlemania.

Now in the present, McIntyre really hopes Roman’s family members got through his thick skull to say no. McIntyre “exterminated” the roach, Dean Ambrose. And then last week, McIntyre beat the #1 Contender, Seth Rollins! McIntyre is sure what the superstar, Roman Reigns, wants and that is “Yes”! But McIntyre appeals to Joe Anoa’i, the man, husband and father. Hasn’t his family been through enough? “Think of your children!” They already watched Daddy fight for his life once. Do they really have to go through that again at Wrestlemania when they know it’s a losing battle? Fans chant for Roman, and McIntyre says he’ll wait all night if he has to. But Roman Reigns appears now!

Roman goes to the ring and grabs himself a mic. Roman and McIntyre stare down, and Roman says he accepts the challenge. But listen very closely to what Joe has to say. “Don’t you ever run your mouth about my wife and kids.” Roman fires off haymakers! He gets McIntyre down and then throws him into a post! McIntyre tumbles out but Roman’s still on him with big uppercuts. Roman throws him into barriers, then back into the ring. Fans are fired up as Roman walks over, but McIntyre low blow uppercuts Roman back! McIntyre drags himself to a corner while Roman gasps and sputters. McIntyre aims with a glare as Roman stands. CLAYMORE! Referees appear and get McIntyre to leave, but the damage is done. Will Roman get his revenge at Wrestlemania?

 

Drew McIntyre spots Dean Ambrose backstage.

“What did you call me out there? A cockroach?” McIntyre “exterminated” him? Doesn’t feel that way. So how about another try tonight? Ambrose VS McIntyre, Last Man Standing!! McIntyre does not know how Ambrose is standing now. But he promises Ambrose won’t be standing after tonight. Is Ambrose trying to get himself killed?!

 

Sasha Banks w/ Bayley VS Natalya w/ Beth Phoenix!

This match didn’t quite finish last week since Nia Jax & Tamina interfered. But now The Boss of Boston and the Queen of Harts will have it out! Can Natty punch a Wrestlemania title match ticket for the Divas of Doom?

The bell rings and Sasha and Natty tie up. Natty puts Sasha on the ropes but backs off to slap her! Sasha slaps back! Then goes acrobatic for an arm-drag! Sasha blocks and arm-drags Natty again, then grins as she circles with Natty again. Natty blocks a kick and throws Sasha down, to then hook the legs for a Surfboard! Natty holds Sasha high overhead, but Sasha endures as Boston cheers her on. Sasha slips free and rolls out, then hits a basement meteora! Cover, TWO! Sasha keeps her cool while she drags Natty up. Natty rolls Sasha up, TWO! Natty brings Sasha up but Sasha sunset flips, only for Natty to block to the Sharpshooter! Sasha fights out and shoves Natty all the way out!

Beth keeps Bayley at bay while Sasha fetches Natty. Natty throws hands, then throws Sasha at the apron. Sasha spins around and headscissors Natty down! Then a knee into the barriers! Sasha leaves Natty behind while we go to break.

Raw returns and Natty has Sasha in a Canadian torture rack. Sasha endures as Bayley and Boston rally for her. Natty keeps up the pressure but Sasha slips out to a sunset flip! Cover, TWO, but Sasha blocks a kick to give a kick! Sasha runs and wheelbarrows, but Natty sits Sasha down! Natty then walks over Sasha, but gets tripped! Sasha gets the Bank Statement crossface! Natty reaches, crawls, but rolls Sasha away to a Sharpshooter!! Sasha endures now, reaches for the ropes, but Natty drags her away! Sasha finds a second wind and rolls Natty into a corner! Bayley and Boston are relieved, but the Samoan Dynasty attacks again! They get Bayley, then rush the ring! SUPERKICK for Sasha!

Winner: Sasha Banks, by disqualification

The Glamazon rushes the ring to tackle Tamina! And she throws hands on Nia! Fireman’s carry, but Tamina saves Nia. Beth still fights and runs Nia over! She deflects the Superkick to fire off on Tamina! She gets the chicken wings, for the Glam Slam! Natty regroups with Beth and they hold the ring! Fans let Beth know “You Still Got It!” Not only that, but Beth still wants it! She wants tag title gold with her fellow Diva of Doom! Will the Boss & Hug Connection have legendary opponents for Wrestlemania? And what of the Samoan Dynasty? Or the IIconics?

 

The WWE reveals the newest Hall of Fame inductees: The Hart Foundation!

Bret Hart and Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart were the Best There Is, Best There Was, and the Best There Ever Will Be in tag team wrestling. It means so much to the Hart Family, especially Natalya, that The Anvil is finally going in!

 

Backstage interview with Kurt Angle!

The Olympic Gold Medalist continues the Farewell Tour against Samoa Joe! Why such a tough challenge this close to Wrestlemania? Angle appreciates Joe for coming over from SmackDown for the night. And this tour is about retiring on his terms. Angle promises to be ready for Baron Corbin, and Joe will be his greatest test yet. But Corbin comes over and chuckles. Corbin appreciates watching this farewell tour. How many years has Angle been around? How old is he? Does he realize the fans are cheering not because he’s a great competitor, but because they feel sorry for him? Considering he’s half the man he used to be. Corbin promises the news after Mania will be “Former Gold Medalist tarnishes his career”. Angle simply tells Corbin, “Screw you.” Will Angle show Corbin he’s still good enough when going against the United States Champion?

 

Backstage interview with The Boss & Hug connection.

Clearly the Women’s Tag Team division is heating up. Nia and Tamina keep attacking, The IIconics won last week, and- Sasha says they vowed to take on anyone, anywhere, anytime! So how about all three teams at Wrestlemania?! A Fatal 4 Way!? Are the inaugural champions going to become former champions in New York?

 

It’s time for another Moment of Bliss!

The Goddess doesn’t sit on stage, she heads right for the ring. Will she be able to reconcile the Monster Among Men and Saturday Night Live’s Colin Jost?

Raw returns as Alexa sits on her set in the ring. “Welcome to A Moment of Bliss.” Alexa isn’t sure what it is, but since becoming the host, the Wrestlemania card gets better and better. The women are main eventing now! Is she good or what? But Alexa is at a crossroads, because with two weeks left, she feels like her moment and her reputation are in jeopardy. She shares footage of when Colin Jost put his foot in his mouth when he mouthed off to Strowman. Strowman put his hands around Colin’s throat and almost choked the man out. Then when Colin tried to apologize with a car, Strowman ripped the car apart! “That looks like a recipe for a public relations disaster.” So Alexa hopes this becomes A Moment of Healing. First, The Monster Among Men himself, BRAUN!

Strowman storms out to the ring and shakes hands with Alexa before taking a seat. Alexa welcomes Strowman and knows what happens when Strowman’s temper gets the best of him. Strowman’s flipped an ambulance with Roman Reigns inside, yanked down the stage on top of Brock Lesnar, and utterly destroyed one of Vince McMahon’s limousines. “Sure did.” Then what would happen if Michael Che and Colin Jost were to #GetThoseHands? The saying goes, “It’s the thought that counts.” Jost got him that tiny little convertible, Strowman thought about smashing Jost’s face in. Thank you for sharing your feelings, because that is the first step in the healing process. The next is listening, because via satellite, Michael and Colin!

Michael and Colin say hi, and Colin tries to compliment Strowman. Colin admits he made a mistake in Philly. He won’t put on a Mets hat, he’ll put on a Yankees hat. Boston hates that. Michael says that as a lifelong fan of the WWE, and even of Strowman, Michael respects Strowman. But Strowman also responded badly when he went after Colin. Colin may not be funny, but he’s a good guy. Colin wants to be a mentor, sincerely. He went to Harvard. His parents paid millions of dollars to get him on the Women’s Cross Country Team. Wait… Well, anyway, Colin can definitely teach Strowman how to eat, or how to read, or how to do his taxes.

And Colin knows Strowman is big and strong at 5’11” and 180 pounds, but they can talk this out. Michael says this isn’t how to do it. Colin sent him a car! Strowman, consider therapy! Or at least pay Colin back, with interest, and get him an autograph from Brock Lesnar. Or maybe they won’t go to Wrestlemania! Fans don’t care but Alexa can’t let that happen. Strowman has an idea. Michael said someone needs to take care of this, one way or another. Strowman goes with “option number three.” If Colin wants to make this right, he’ll get in the Andre the Giant Battle Royal! No way! He’s not- Listen up, smart guy! Get in the battle royal or Strowman will find you when you’re all alone! Michael accepts for Colin! WHAT?!

Listen, there’s a chance Colin will get hurt in the Battle Royal, but he will DEFINITELY be dead if this happens backstage. Michael promises Colin will be in that match and Michael will correspond alone. Colin says Michael’s the real WWE fan so he’s in, too! Colin starts a chant, but Strowman tells him to shut up. Can Alexa make this happen? As the host of Wrestlemania, she can’t do this for Strowman’s blood-lust. Michael breathes a sigh of relief, but Alexa was just kidding. This is happening! And if Michael and Colin no-show, they’ll be wondering for the rest of their lives when they’ll #GetTheseHands!

 

Elias is still in New York.

The Drifter has made his way to Madison Square Garden, “the world’s most famous arena.” Now it’s not Boston’s Garden, because that houses a bunch of slobs. Elias has sold this place out three times already, more than Billy Joel ever cold. Elias is given change? Does this city have no idea who he is?!

 

Baron Corbin VS Apollo Crews!

“Boston’s Favorite Son” is apparently anything but that, as he has every other accolade of his listed. But will he at least redeem himself from last week’s quick defeat?

Raw returns and Apollo rolls Corbin up! TWO, but Apollo mule kicks and sunset flips. TWO, and now Apollo crucifix, TWO! Apollo dropkicks Corbin to a corner then baits Corbin in. Corbin slides out then in but into a dropkick! Corbin staggers and Apollo clotheslines him out! Apollo hits the moonsault off the apron, then runs back in, only for Corbin to toss him into the post! Corbin refreshes the count to drag Apollo up and throw him into barriers. He puts Apollo back in the ring then shoves him into buckles. Corbin lifts and tosses Apollo down! Cover, TWO! Corbin argues with the ref, but then points to the Wrestlemania sign to taunt fans that he’s still going, whether we like it or not.

Corbin drags Apollo up but Apollo clotheslines him back! Apollo baits Corbin into the corner again, then enziguris him down! Apollo climbs and leaps, frog splash! Cover, TWO!! Corbin survives and gets to a corner. He puts Apollo on the apron but Apollo shoulders in. Apollo slingshots and runs, but into End of Days! Cover, Corbin wins!

Winner: Baron Corbin, by pinfall

The Lone Wolf has redeemed himself, but this is far from satisfactory. He drags Apollo up for another End of Days! Corbin grins and applauds, but will he be feeling good after facing Kurt Angle at Mania?

 

Seth Rollins is here!

The Architect, Mr. Royal Rumble 2019, goes to the ring and grabs a mic. Boston is ready to “Slay The Beast!” so Rollins cuts to the chase. Brock Lesnar and Seth Rollins are not cut from the same cloth. The two roads that meet at Wrestlemania could not be any different. But there is only one road out, and it will be forged with the Universal Championship and by the man who will define the WWE’s future. It will either be Rollins or Lesnar, “and that’s really heavy.” But Rollins wants to carry that burden! Rollins wants to be a champion who inspires people. The champions who inspired Rollins were Shawn Michaels, Bret Hart, Ric Flair, Triple H, and even John Cena. But Brock Lesnar does not inspire people.

It goes without saying that this will be Rollins’ biggest match yet. Rollins has wanted it for a long time, but until recently, he didn’t realize how much it means to the fans. Rollins did a meet ‘n’ greet and everyone who came up to him, regardless of who they were, they all said the same thing. Fans chant “Burn It Down!” and “Slay The Beast!” and Rollins says it was something like that. “Please beat Lesnar at Wrestlemania.” Rollins promised he’ll do everything he can to stop Lesnar, but now he has no choice. He MUST beat Brock Lesnar! Rollins refuses to let Lesnar be the champion that defines this company! In 13 days, Rollins will stand up to the bully that is The Beast.

And what Lesnar doesn’t understand is that with an army behind Rollins, he WILL be unstoppable! Together, they will march to Suplex City and #BURN IT- “Ladies and Gentlemen!” The Advocate, Paul Heyman, is here in Boston to say, “Thank you.” Heyman thanks Rollins for letting him know that the match is now a “Handicap Match”. It’ll be the reigning, defending, undisputed Universal Heavyweight Champion, BROCK LESNAR VS Seth Rollins & The WWE Universe. Heyman likes Lesnar’s odds, because Rollins’ chances of winning are zero. “Do you know how pathetic you sound, Seth?” Rollins needs the fans’ love, support and affirmation? Or perhaps their thoughts and prayers? Heyman mocks other requests for thoughts and prayers, but especially Rollins needing help not being beaten and victimized by Lesnar.

Heyman says Rollins needs those thoughts and prayers, because Rollins doesn’t have a thought on how to defeat Lesnar, nor a prayer in doing so. This isn’t personal, but when Lesnar does win, Rollins needs to take it personally when he and the WWE Universe fail at Wrestlemania. Heyman tosses the mic but Rollins chases him up the ramp! Rollins scares Heyman and Heyman suddenly says he’s just saying this because Lesnar wanted him to. Rollins laughs. This isn’t about getting thoughts and prayers, this is about answering them. “We are going to Wrestlemania! We are going to beat Brock Lesnar!” And WE are going to BURN IT DOWN!! Rollins carries the banner for the fans, but will he plant the flag in Suplex City’s ashes?

Kurt Angle makes his way out, and the “You Suck!” turns to Heyman. The Olympic Gold Medalist brings the Farewell Tour to Boston, but will it continue to be successful on the Road to Wrestlemania?

 

Kurt Angle VS Samoa Joe!

Angle and the Samoan Submission Machine have met before, but they’ll have their first and last match in the WWE in Boston! Will Angle win over the WWE United States Championship? Or will Joe tuck Angle in and make him go to sleep before ever making it to Wrestlemania?

Raw returns as Samoa Joe makes his entrance. Joe has a mic and asks Angle to forgive him. He forgot his bouquet of flowers to give to him. And though Joe knows the “scumbag New England mouth-breathers want it”, it’ll be a cold day into Hell before Angle can just ride off into the sunset. This is Wrestlemania Season, and stars around the world are getting ready for the big night. For Angle’s last night in Boston, Joe has a special gift. A good night’s sleep is very important, and Joe couldn’t think of a better way to say good-bye than putting Angle out once and for all. The bell rings and this very tense good-bye match begins!

Joe and Angle stare down, and then Joe headbutts Angle down! Joe stomps away on Angle, then stands him up for those swift jabs! Angle counter punches but Joe rakes his eyes! Joe brings Angle out and snap suplexes, but barely gets Angle over. Angle gets to a corner but Joe throws more hands. Fans rally behind Angle and he gets a waistlock on Joe! Joe elbows him off and snapmares him for stomps! Joe dropkicks Angle in the back, but Angle comes back with haymakers. Angle gets Joe on the ropes but Joe dumps Angle out, to DIVE! Joe bulldozes Angle into barriers and we go to break.

Raw returns and Angle fights his way out of Joe’s sleeper hold. Angle runs but Joe runs him over! Joe taunts Angle as he sits up. Joe puts him in the corner and trash talks before throwing more hands and CHOPS! Angle staggers away and Joe headbutts. Joe throws more jabs then brings Angle out for forearms. Joe runs but Angle ducks to German Suplex! Angle holds on for a second German Suplex! And then the hat trick! Cover, TWO! Angle gets back up and stalks Joe, but Joe fights out of the Angle Slam. Angle kicks but runs into an atomic drop. Joe boots and back sentons! Cover, TWO!! Angle lives and Joe is livid, but Joe keeps his eyes on Angle as he gets to a corner. Angle dodges Joe in the corner, ANGLE SLAM! Cover, TWO!! Joe survives and Angle can’t believe it.

Angle fires up and goes for the ankle! Joe pushes him away, then gets up, to catch Angle for a powerslam! Cover, TWO!! Angle barely escapes but Joe keeps his focus. Joe puts Angle in a corner and on the top rope. Joe wants the Buster but Angle pushes him away. Angle hits a missile dropkick! The straps come down and Angle stalks Joe again. Angle lifts but Joe slips out to fire forearms and headbutts. Joe grabs Angle but Angle arm-drags him away. Angle rocks Joe with a right but runs into the sleeper! Joe squeezes and Angle fades, but fans give him a second wind! Angle rolls Joe to a cover, Angle wins!

Winner: Kurt Angle, by pinfall

The Farewell Tour wins by the skin of Angle’s teeth! Joe is shocked, will he be able to snap back before facing Rey Mysterio at Wrestlemania? And what of Angle going over to SmackDown to face the Phenomenal AJ Styles?

 

Triple H is here!

The world heard what The Animal, Dave Batista, had to say about why he wants one more match at Wrestlemania, but now we hear The Game’s response, after the break.

Raw returns and HHH can’t believe the fans were giving an ovation that entire commercial break. It really was, trust him. But first thing’s first, congrats to the Raw Women’s Championship match for being THE main event at Wrestlemania. Congrats to them and all the women of WWE, past, present and future, because this was not given, it was earned. That’s the kind of thing that makes HHH happy. Just like coming out and realizing this mic is dry, unlike the one Batista spit all over. But some things upset HHH, like this thing buried in his pocket. He presents an envelope and a letter from Batista’s attorney. The letter states that Batista will not be competing at Wrestlemania after all. Unless HHH agrees to another stipulation.

This letter goes on and on, Batista says a lot of things like his recent realization that HHH started Evolution to protect himself. Really? Just figured that out 13 years later? Batista also realized that the moon isn’t made of cheese, so a big week for him. Batista also believes Evolution did nothing for him, except before then, he was just The Deacon following Reverend D-Von around. And then after Evolution, he was a world champion. Batista also believes HHH had an obsession that kept Batista down. Yet six world title reigns later, Batista quit when he couldn’t beat John Cena. Batista also thinks HHH kept Batista away from here, because HHH just refused to return his phone calls. HHH called Batista, but Batista’s manager said they should move Wrestlemania’s date to accommodate Batista’s shooting schedules.

But when the letter finally gets to Batista’s stipulation, as HHH will read now to properly reflect Batista’s feelings… “If you would like me to appear then at Wrestlemania, you will give me what I want. What I really, really want. I’ll tell you what I want, what I really, really want.” This goes on and on for pages! But the bottom line, Batista wants HHH’s career on the line. If Batista wins at Wrestlemania, HHH will never compete in the ring again. HHH tells “Dave” that he beat up a 70 year old man a year after being on his deathbed, all just to get a match at Mania. HHH agreed to that match, 75 THOUSAND people, and yet Batista still demands something. This is just another attempt by Batista to quit. HHH will not let Batista quit. He will make Batista stand up to his commitment.

Batista believes HHH is obsessed with Batista? HHH doesn’t give a crap about him! The only thing HHH is obsessed with is kicking Batista’s ass. And at this point in their careers, if HHH cannot beat a “self-deluded douchebag”, then he has no business being in the ring. If Batista wants HHH’s career on the line, “you’ve got it.” The Game plays Batista’s game, but will Batista regret even wanting to play?

 

Elias makes quite the haul.

“New York recognizes talent.” Elias has always felt that way. There’s maybe $2000 in his guitar case. New York is the greatest city in the world, so long as Elias is here. Elias will leave no doubt that there is one universal truth. And that is… you need to watch your money. A pickpocket gets away with some of Elias’ tips, but Elias will make way more than that at Wrestlemania. And then no one will doubt that WWE truly stands for #WalkWithElias. The pickpocket comes back to take the entire guitar case!

 

Last Man Standing: Drew McIntyre VS Dean Ambrose!

The Scottish Terminator thought he had terminated the Lunatic once and for all, but it seems even a Claymore off the stage wasn’t enough. Will Ambrose get payback for himself in such an extreme match? Or will McIntyre be the only one standing on the Road to Wrestlemania?

Raw returns once again as McIntyre makes his entrance. Ambrose is raring to go but the referee has him wait. The bell rings and Ambrose fires off! Ambrose punches and stomps McIntyre in a corner but McIntyre fights his way back out. McIntyre CHOPS Ambrose, then drags him up to CHOP again. McIntyre drags Ambrose up but Ambrose dodges to fire forearms. Ambrose whips but McIntyre reverses. Ambrose kicks and dumps McIntyre out. The Lunatic climbs up top and leaps but misses his Lunatic Elbow! McIntyre watches Ambrose as the count begins. The count climbs to 5 before Ambrose drags himself up. Ambrose stands at 8, but McIntyre is on him with a swinging slam into barriers! Ambrose is down again while we go to one last break.

Raw returns once again, and Ambrose headbutts McIntyre off the top rope. Ambrose adjusts and leaps but into a kendo stick SMASH! McIntyre SMACKS Ambrose more, then digs the stick’s bare tip into Ambrose’s face! McIntyre lets up to SMACK Ambrose against the ropes. The stick is splintered and McIntyre holds it up proudly. McIntyre dares Ambrose to stand back up, but Ambrose ducks and clotheslines McIntyre out! Ambrose builds speed and DIVES! Direct hit sends McIntyre into the barriers! They’re both down as the count begins. The count passes 5 but Ambrose is right up. McIntyre stands, too, but Ambrose throws hands. The Glasgow Kiss rocks Ambrose! McIntyre, bleeding from his back, brings Ambrose under the ring, to catapult guillotine him into the steel frame!

The referee counts on Ambrose but Ambrose is stirring. He stands at 5, but McIntyre has the steel steps! McIntyre rams Ambrose down! The referee counts again as Ambrose sputters and crawls. Ambrose forces himself up at 7! But McIntyre puts him back in the ring. McIntyre takes a chair from the timekeeper’s area and brings it into the ring. He wedges it in the corner and throws Ambrose. Ambrose slides to a stop and baits McIntyre in! McIntyre meets chair! DIRTY DEEDS! The count begins on McIntyre, but the Terminator stands at 8! Ambrose boots him back down then rains down rights! Ambrose hurries to fetch a TABLE! He sets it up in the corner to the liking of the fans. McIntyre manages to stand, and tackles Ambrose through the table!!

Fans lose their minds as the count begins again. McIntyre glares at Ambrose as Ambrose crawls from the wreckage. The count passes 5, then 7, and Ambrose stands at 9! CLAYMORE!! McIntyre knocks Ambrose right back down, and the count begins again. Ambrose slowly sits up but McIntyre looms over him. The count hits 10, McIntyre wins!

Winner: Drew McIntyre

The Terminator steps on Ambrose like the roach he called him. Will McIntyre do the same to Roman Reigns at Wrestlemania?

 


 

My Thoughts:

Wrestlemania’s growing closer, but it seems Raw is slowing down. There was literally no need for the Beat the Clock Challenge tonight, and certainly not if someone other than Ronda was going to win it. Granted, the fans loved seeing Becky beat Ronda’s time, and it is something Becky can brag about in the two weeks left, but what does any of this do? The announcement that the three of them are THE main event should’ve been enough. They can talk, take credit, all of that, but there’s no need for matches like this at this point in time. For that matter, not even sure about next week having a Six Woman Tag where they join forces against Riott Squad. Pretty sure there will be dysfunction, and yet also a way where The Riott Squad still loses. This build’s homestretch just hit a speed bump.

I’m not entirely sure why Vince insists Finn has to beat everyone other than Lashley to prove he’s worthy of the title. I suppose it’s great for Lashley, but Mahal being dragged in was obviously so Lashley could lose without taking the pin. Finn VS Lashley, actually going 1v1, is still going to be good, and I’m still hoping Finn finally gets that win on Lashley directly to put this to bed. Elias’ New York promos were great, but especially the last one. I wonder if his greatest performance, aka greatest interruption, will actually be bigger than Jeff Jarrett now… Aleister & Ricochet are doing great, though at the cost of The Revival. I have a bad feeling that if Aleister & Ricochet are going for main roster tag titles at Wrestlemania, that means The Forgotten Sons win the Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic!!

So glad to see The WWE Women’s Tag Team Championship Fatal 4 Way IS happening! At the same time, Bayley seeing some of the Samoan sneak attack coming was good, because it really should’ve been obvious. This also gave Beth a great moment for herself to confirm that she’s coming back for this match. I still feel like it’s between Boss & Hug retaining or the IIconics taking the belts to SmackDown. SmackDown really needs to work on their Women’s Roster overall, so I’m leaning towards Boss & Hug retaining in a big way. The Strowman celebrity angle is starting to be like screeching brakes on the Road to Wrestlemania. For what it’s worth, everyone is properly selling the dialogue, it just seems weird that Colin and Michael will be in the Andre the Giant Battle Royal. I really hope Strowman still wins it all, that’s the only way to salvage this.

Corbin VS Crews was alright, but it’s probably one of the things that makes the most sense tonight. Corbin needed to keep himself afloat or he really would look like the wrong choice for Angle’s farewell match at Mania. Of course, the Farewell Tour is still hitting the right notes. Angle VS Joe was a bit slow at the start but it got going, and naturally Angle wins. It actually helps both stories, Angle’s and Joe’s, that the win was a quick pin and not a finisher. It’s good to push Angle not quite being in his prime, to bring concern that he might not beat Corbin. And for Joe, it seems quick pins are becoming his weakness as this happened when Mysterio pinned him. Also good to know Angle VS Styles and Angle VS Mysterio are coming, those are going to be great for the Farewell Tour, too.

As for Ambrose constantly getting beat by McIntyre, I can’t be sure the reason other than to boost McIntyre. Roman’s brawl with McIntyre was good, and I suppose it makes sense for McIntyre to stand tall thanks to dirty tactics. McIntyre VS Ambrose was good, but the commercial interruption and the shortness overall kept it from being great. If the Beat the Clock Challenge wasn’t a thing, all of that match time could’ve gone to this. Perhaps this is not only to boost McIntyre, but to make it seem less and less likely Ambrose will even be able to help Roman at Wrestlemania. Rollins had a great promo with Heyman tonight, but there’s no guarantees he actually will #SlayTheBeast. It might only be Roman having a good night at Wrestlemania at this point.

My Score: 7.7/10


Let us know what you think on social media @theCHAIRSHOTcom and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
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(NOAH) WEEKLY NEWSLETTER VOL.28 ~ 24TH MARCH 2019

Hopefully the live stream peaked some extra interest in NOAH! So for everyone new or old that needs to catch up, Hisame’s Newsletters are the perfect one stop shop!

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Hopefully the live stream peaked some extra interest in NOAH! So for everyone new or old that needs to catch up, Hisame’s Newsletters are the perfect one stop shop!

CURRENT TOUR RECAP

After the excitement of Hakata Stalene, NOAH headed back out to Osaka, and then further into the provinces.

At Osaka World Pavilion, Hi69 finished the match by doing the Stuka Splash on Yoshinari Ogawa, after it Ogawa seemed to be struggling a bit and had to be helped up and out of the ring, although eventually he was well enough to walk unaided.

But when Hi69 & Quiet Storm had their first singles match ever on the 20th March at Toyonaka, after the match the ring was stormed by Stinger members Yoshinari Ogawa and Kotaro Suzuki, who beat down Hi69 in revenge. It is unusual to see this happen in NOAH, although Kotaro Suzuki is capable of it (and people getting jumped does happen), it is very rare to see Yoshinari Ogawa do it. Minoru Tanaka came to the rescue.

Hi69 says he will make weight for the tag challenge (“I will get on the scales any time. However, please tell me the day before“), and has started a weight loss diary on his

Twitter, although he did admit to eating lots of meat and going up to 105.

Minoru Tanaka and Hi69 had their own post match beat down on Stinger on the 21st in Kanazawa.

KAZMA SAKAMOTO and Takashi Sugiura teamed together for the first time before they enter Global Tag League together, they seemed to get on pretty well, with KAZMA later paying tribute to Sugiura as “a symbol of NOAH’s strength”.

Naomichi Marufuji, who says he is searching for a purpose, had somewhat of a comedy match in Toyonaka with disco poses being pulled and kicking Masao Inoue in the face for messing around, but a new threat appears to be emerging from the next generation of Junior wrestlers regarding their own status being less than the heavyweights, although he didn’t make too much of a comment about it at the time, it does look like Daisuke Harada took on board Minoru Tanaka’s comments about the GHC Junior being the main event. Marufuji in a post match interview said he could see their hostility building to something, but he didn’t know yet.

A huge rivalry is brewing for Global Tag League 2019 between Kenoh & Kaito Kiyomiya and AXIZ (Katsuhiko Nakajima & Go Shiozaki), which started in Toyonaka and was heralded by a vicious kick battle between Kenoh and Nakajima. After the match, the two teams faced off, with Nakajima grinning evilly. Earlier on the tour, Marufuji (a veteran) was put in the unenviable position of teaming with them (the younger generation who are opposed to him), and at the end of a match which according to one attendee had a “sense of distance between them”, got kicked in the head by Nakajima after shaking hands with him.

Then Shiozaki lariated him. 

In Kanazawa after the match (whereby Nakajima grinned in Kenoh’s face), Kiyomiya and Kenoh declared AXIZ to be a “wanted” tag-team.

Yoshiki Inamura won his second victory over Kinya Okada, whom he now refers to as “my rival”. He had teamed with his teacher, Masa Kitamiya, who had a big smile on his face and did genuinely seem pleased with his trainees progress. After three days of being chopped and kicked his chest was….

Maybach Taniguchi is still continuing in his monster mode, and refuses to change. His Sasumata is still being bought to the ring and used as a weapon, he is still attacking the ref after matches, speaking in grunts, and even Akitoshi Saito who seemed to be attempting to rehabilitate him, has given up. In Kanazawa they tagged together, but it all fell apart when they accidentally knocked each other down, got into an argument and then Taniguchi was defeated by the Funky Buster Bomb. Taniguchi stood in the ring as he and Saito pointed at each other threateningly as Saito left the ring. 

Takashi Sugiura said that this would do no him no good in the end.

NOAH will celebrate the final night of “Spring Navigation 2019” at Korakuen Hall in Tokyo on Friday March 29th.

Event recaps
March 19th: Osaka World Pavilion (post match promos)
March 20th: Toyonaka City Rose Culture Hall (post match promos)
March 21st: Kanazawa Distribution Agency (post match promos)

NEWS

Global Tag League 2019

Global Tag League will return on the 6th April 2019, with the first night being held at Edion Arena Osaka on Saturday 6th April and finishing on 4th May at Korakuen Hall.
This years teams are as follows:

Katsuhiko Nakajima & Go Shiozaki (GHC Heavyweight Tag champions)
Kaito Kiyomiya & Kenoh
Mohammed Yone & Quiet Storm
Maybach Taniguchi & Yuji Hino
Takashi Sugiura & KAZMA SAKAMOTO
Atsushi Kotoge & Mitsuya Nagai
Akitoshi Saito & Masao Inoue
Masa Kitamiya & Yoshiki Inamura.

Due to being defeated by Kaito Kiyomiya for the GHC Heavyweight title, Naomichi Marufuji has said that he will not enter the league this year. However, there is a possibility that he may enter in the end, and probably with a surprise partner. Unspoken speculation has it that since KENTA’s 90 day release clause is up round about the time Global Tag League starts, it may well be KENTA who he enters with.

Personally, I think it is far more likely that Marufuji will enter with Masaaki Mochizuki.

KAZMA says he fears the team of Yuji Hino and Maybach Taniguchi, as Hino knows how to work Taniguchi, however “that dick is a one-man show.”

Atsushi Kotoge has named the team of himself and Mitsuya Nagai “The Revolutionary Cloak Army”

Akitoshi Saito and Masao Inoue were a comedy team last year, with Saito screwing over Inoue, and Inoue not really realizing as Saito kept denying it.

The big rivalry for Global Tag League 2019 this year is Kenoh & Kiyomiya vs AXIZ.

Atsushi Kotoge returns
Atsushi Kotoge will make his return in his hometown of Osaka on the 6th April. Katsuhiko Nakajima took the opportunity to take a shot at Kenoh by looking at the match (“The Revolutionary Cloak Army” vs Kenoh and Kiyomiya) to say, “you are in the opening match” (full card hasn’t been announced yet).

NOAH The Album
Track listing has been confirmed as:

Katsuhiko Nakajima: Genius of The Kick
Daisuke Harada: KTYM
Quiet Storm: MAD
Pro Wrestling NOAH theme: Brave
GHC Jnr Theme
GHC Tag theme
Kaito Kiyomiya: Explosion Soul
Atsushi Kotoge: Switch On
Masa Kitamiya: Go For Broke
Go Shiozaki: Enforcer
Naomichi Marufuji: Hysteric
Theme of Global League
RAN: SAKURETSU (Pro Wrestling NOAH’s official song)

You can pre-order your copy here

Masaaki Mochizuki
Following his highly praised tag against Naomichi Marufuji at the Giant Baba memorial show, Masaaki Mochizuki will be making his first appearance in Pro-Wrestling NOAH on the 29th March at Korakuen Hall, he will team with Masa Kitamiya & Yoshiki Inamura against Naomichi Marufuji and 50 Funky Powers.

CURRENT CHAMPIONS

TOUR TIDBITS
~ Hitoshi Kumano says he wants to challenge for the singles belt
~ Daisuke Harada was cheered on by his nephew in Osaka
~ Kenoh has been noted to be smiling a lot more now he is teaming with Kiyomiya; but don’t let this fool you. Kenoh is still after the GHC Heavyweight, Kiyomiya knows this and has said that they will never properly be friends. Despite the brotherly feeling between them, there is still a sense of rivalry underneath.
~ Katsuhiko Nakajima’ reaction to Yoshiki Inamura teaming with Masa Kitamiya was, “what’s his name? I don’t remember, he didn’t leave much of an impression
~ Kaito Kiyomiya was again on the cover of “Weekly Pro”, he’s only twenty-two, but has already been on the cover about three or four times.
~ Takashi Sugiura imitated KAZMA SAKAMOTO’S scream
~ Katsuhiko Nakajima told a bald reporter that his head was “twinkling”.
~ After the three day in a row tour (and a week away from home), Hitoshi Kumano returned to his “children” (his French Bulldogs), and Takashi Sugiura returned home to his own dog, who wanted to immediately go outside, despite the fact it was 1.30am. He took it for a walk the next day.
~ Despite saying that he didn’t have to call Kenoh “Kenoh-san” anymore, this momentary lapse in manners is over, and Kiyomiya has gone back to calling him just that.

BROADCASTS
G+ will broadcast the 17th April show on April 20th
They will also show the 28th May Korakuen Hall show live

LINKS
Naomichi Marufuji reviews “Bomb Gum”

VENUE GUIDES
Osaka World Pavilion
Toyonaka City Rose Cultural Hall
Kanazawa Distribution Centre
Picture credits: Noah GHC, PKDX, Yoshiki Inamura


Let us know what you think on social media @theCHAIRSHOTcom and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
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