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Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Live Report! (3/6/18)

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All images courtesy of the WWE’s official Twitter.

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Randy Orton VS Jinder Mahal w/ Sunil Singh; Mahal wins.
  • Becky Lynch VS Carmella; Becky wins.
  • AJ Styles VS Dolph Ziggler; no contest.
  • Fatal 5 Way: AJ Styles VS Dolph Ziggler VS Kevin Owens VS Sami Zayn VS Baron Corbin; Zayn wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

SmackDown starts with a face-to-face.

The Queen appears in Green Bay just days away from her title defense at Fastlane, as does her wild child contender, Ruby Riott.

Charlotte and Ruby are both 2-0 in defeating the other’s allies, so the deciding win will be their 1v1 match this Sunday. Ruby starts by saying that this didn’t begin with her actions a month ago. This all started November 14th, 2017, when Charlotte became the SmackDown Women’s Champion. Charlotte’s entire life was set up for success. She’s tall, blonde, athletic, cunning, and daughter of a two-time Hall of Famer, the Nature Boy, Ric Flair. And when Charlotte became champion, she became the first woman to win NXT, Diva’s, Raw and SmackDown Women’s Championships. Ruby watched as “the myth began to form”. The myth that Charlotte was the personification of the Women’s (R)Evolution. Which is why Ruby and her Squad showed up.

The Squad exists to do one thing: destroy the myth of Charlotte. Charlotte responds by saying the only myth is that she’s been handed anything in life. She’s worked hard, or even harder, because of who she is. Charlotte has the weight of the Flair expectations on her shoulders. That’s hard to live up to. Her failures are magnified and reflect on her family. She has to not only succeed, but be transcendent. The fact Charlotte did everything Ruby said proves she is no myth. And the reality is, Charlotte is right here, every bit as good as we’ve heard. And that’s what makes it so fun for Ruby. Whether Charlotte was placed there or put herself there, she’s on a pedestal. When Ruby takes her crown, the “Queen” will crumble, and becomes another “bleach blonde failure with a famous last name.”

Charlotte gets in Ruby’s face, the Squad get in the ring. And out comes Charlotte’s GLORIOUS new friend, Bobby Roode!

The United States Champion diffuses the situation with his presence, but he does have his reasons for being out here. He joins commentary for a match between his contender and the man who was overlooked, up next!

 

Randy Orton VS Jinder Mahal w/ Sunil Singh!

The Viper wants the one title that has eluded him his entire career, but the Modern Day Maharaja wants to prove to “Bob Roode” that Orton is not worthy. Can Orton put Mahal away quickly so he can turn his focus onto the United States Champion?

The bell rings and this rematch from their days fighting over the WWE Championship begin. Mahal gets the arm lock and wrenches it to a keylock, bringing Orton to a knee. Green Bay is on Orton’s side as he powers his way out and around to a hammerlock. Mahal elbows out then puts on a headlock, but Orton powers out. Mahal runs Orton over, then gets running again. Orton jumps over then elbows Mahal down, and Mahal scrambles to ropes. They circle again but Mahal kicks low. Orton ends up in a corner and Mahal gives him stiff body shots. Mahal whips corner to corner but Orton evades, RKO narrowly avoided! The Viper grins at Mahal, as does Roode, while we go picture in picture.

Roode nods at his contender and would-be challenger, while Orton hears out the fans cheering. He welcomes Mahal back into the ring, and counters punches with punches. Orton gives Mahal a European Uppercut, then some more. He whips Mahal but Mahal reverses, Orton throws Mahal down by his hair. The Viper stomps on Mahal limb by limb, then drags Mahal up to scrape his laces on his face. Orton whips Mahal corner to corner, but Mahal shoulders his way out. Mahal stomps on Orton in a corner, then whips him corner to corner. Orton reverses, puts on a headlock, Mahal powers out but Orton elbows him back. Mahal boots Orton and brings him down! Cover, TWO! Mahal grins as he stomps Orton more.

Orton ends up by the ropes and Mahal drops knee after knee before grinding a knee into his chin. Mahal grins at Roode, too, before dragging Orton up. He snapmares then dropkicks Orton in the back, cover, TWO. Mahal keeps on that back with a knee in the spine, and a seated half-nelson chinbar. Orton endures the holds and makes his way to his feet. Mahal keeps him down while keeping on the hold, but Orton feeds off the fans’ chants of “USA! USA!” while we go single picture.

Orton fights out of the hold but Mahal kicks low. Mahal whips but Orton kicks, only for Orton to run into Mahal’s leaping knee! Cover, TWO, but Mahal grins again. He runs to drop another knee, then drives elbows and knees into Orton again. The fans keep cheering for Orton, but Mahal puts him back in the half-nelson chinbar. Orton works back to his feet and fights out again, but Mahal kicks low. Mahal swings but Orton counters into a back suplex! Orton glares down at Mahal as the two stand up. Orton rallies with clotheslines, then baits Mahal into the powerslam!

The fans fire up while Mahal gets to the apron, and Orton comes over. He drags Mahal out but Mahal escapes, only to run into a Fall Away Slam! Orton keeps on Mahal with EuroUppers, then whips. Mahal reverses but Orton reverses back into the back2back backbreaker. Mahal returns to the apron, and escapes the DDT again. He even uses Sunil as a human shield! Orton takes Sunil and gives him a big back suplex, tossing him onto the announce desk!

Mahal pounces in the distraction, and goes to throw Orton at Roode, only for Orton to turn it around, Mahal collides with Roode! They both go down, then Orton drags Mahal up and into the ring. Mahal slips away but Orton is right on him. He drags Mahal out, draping DDT!

And now Orton hears those voices in his head! The fans fire up with him as he stalks Mahal. Roode gets on the apron? He’s pissed at Orton for what happened, but then Mahal gets up! Mahal knocks Orton into Roode, then KHALLAS!! Mahal steals the win! The Maharaja’s plan to use champion and challenger against each other has paid off, will this lead to a US Championship match after Fastlane?

 

Sami Zayn meets with Kevin Owens backstage.

They’re both ready for the Six Pack Challenge. However, this is every man for himself, at least on paper. Kevin is still unsure about how Sami said he’d lie down for Kevin. Yes, Sami said that, because he meant it.

After everything they’ve been through, Kevin can’t believe it. Though, Sami is such an amazing guy. It would mean so much to Kevin and their friendship. Sami knows all that, but it’s to thank Kevin for helping him turn everything around. There will be a day when Sami becomes champion, but Kevin is one win away from fulfilling a dream. He could be a grand slam champion! Sami is so proud of Kevin, and again thanks him. They hug it out, is #Kami stronger than ever?

 

Baron Corbin speaks.

The Lone Wolf is actually grateful to see John Cena has been added to the WWE Championship match at Fastlane. Because Corbin owes Cena for the Money in the Bank contract fail. He will make Cena’s Wrestlemania dream into a nightmare, and beat Cena’s eyes shut. That way, when Corbin stands over Cena with the WWE Championship, pointing to that Wrestlemania, “You Can’t See Me!”

 

SmackDown takes a look at the greatest tag team rivalry in recent history.

That is to say, the incredible war between two of the greatest tag teams ever, The Usos and The New Day. They went back and forth for the SmackDown Tag Team Championships, leaving everyone in awe. Now they’re set for one more match at Fastlane, “This is Awesome!” There is much respect, but in the end, it’s about winning. When the New Day wins, they will go to New Orleans and Wrestlemania! But the Usos say that at the end of their war, they were the ones with the titles. They changed themselves in order to truly prove they are worthy of Wrestlemania. Nine years, zero ‘Manias. It won’t be that way this year, because this year is #OurTime!

But the New Day fired back! The New Day stepped up, getting to the top because they “rushed the field” and took what is theirs. They will rush The Usos and take those titles back to become five time tag team champions! It doesn’t matter how many times it’s been, this amazing rivalry goes for one more to see who is truly the better!

 

Backstage interview with Shinsuke Nakamura.

He knows of the Six Pack Challenge, but is he worried about not having the WWE dream (re)match of Nakamura VS Styles? “Yes, but I hope AJ wins, so that I can beat him at Wrestlemania, with a knee to…” However, Rusev & Aiden English appear. English can’t sing, because of the damage done by a “knee to throat”. This is like breaking Billy Joel’s hands. But English is not Billy Joel. Be that as it may, “you broke my friend.” Rusev wants a match at Fastlane to break Nakamura back. Challenge accepted! But when Nakamura wins, it will be NAKAMURA DAY~!

Pff, you can’t just make up holidays, bro. Will the Bulgarian Lion regret getting in the King of Strong Style’s path on the Road to Wrestlemania?

 

Becky Lynch VS Carmella!

A war of words on social media between the Lass Kicker and Ms. Money in the Bank has brought about this match. Will Becky make the Princess of Staten Island #TrendingANDTapping this close to Fastlane?

The bell rings, they circle and tie up, Becky backs Carmella down. Carmella swings things back out and knees Becky low. Carmella whips Becky to a corner but Becky goes up and out to forearm Carmella back. Becky shoulders in then climbs up but Carmella rocks her with a forearm. Carmella throws Becky with a FABULOUS Steiner, then rains left hands in a frustrated response to fans chanting for her opponent. Cover, TWO, so Carmella grinds Becky’s face in the mat. She bounces Becky off the mat before dragging her up. Becky hits back with stiff body shots and right hands, then whips Carmella into a tilt-o-whirl takedown! Carmella spins it around to put Becky in a corner, but ends up in the corner herself. Becky jump kicks but Carmella blocks to push Becky into buckles.

Carmella kicks Becky, then climbs up to put a hanging headscissors on. She lets go at 4, then drags Becky back by her hair to stretch her on the bottom rope. Carmella then brags that she’s Ms. Money in the Bank before kneeing Becky in the head! Naomi is watching her friend in this match, but Carmella covers, TWO. Carmella keeps her cool while throwing Becky out of the ring again. She embraces the heat while she drags Becky up and throws her into barriers. Carmella throws Becky again, then stomps away on her. She bumps Becky off a post, then puts her in the ring, cover, TWO. Carmella gets mad at the ref, then drives elbows into Becky before wrapping on a thrashing chinlock. The fans rally for Becky, and Becky fights out. Carmella knees low then slaps Becky, but Becky hits a leg lariat!

Both women are down and a ten count begins. Carmella gets up first and crawls over to Becky. She throws a forearm, Becky throws one back. They go back and forth but Becky gets the edge. Becky runs but Carmella evades to FABULOUS Kick Becky down! Cover, but Ropebreak! Carmella throws a tantrum, but this allows Becky to get up. Becksploder! Becky fires up but runs into another kick. Carmella wheelbarrows for the headlock takedown, but Becky slips out into the Disarm-Her! Carmella taps, Becky wins! Will this #StraightFire deter Carmella from #CashingIn at Fastlane?

 

Natalya walks in to join Naomi backstage.

According to the Queen of Harts, Becky is “lucky lucky.” Naomi says Ms. MITB tweets a big game. Well Carmella was sick, so that’s why Becky won. Naomi should stay away from Becky, because all Becky’s friends get burned. It seems Natty is jealous of Becky, seeing as Natty as no friends. Natty has friends. Name one that isn’t a cat. There’s no time for that. Natty knows Becky can’t beat “The Best There Is, the Best There Was, and the Best There Ever Will Be.” In that case, Natty and her “friend” Carmella can face Becky & Naomi at Fastlane. That’s fine, the Queen wants a warm-up before challenging the SmackDown Women’s Champion at Wrestlemania. The only thing Natty will be doing at Wrestlemania is sitting on the couch with Two Paws. Will the Glow and the Fire take care of the Queen and the Princess?

 

 

AJ Styles heads to the ring.

After hearing the fans out on their cheering, he says, “It wasn’t long ago where I only cared about one person.” But after becoming the WWE Champion for a second time, he sees things differently. Styles is the champion, “but here’s the thing.” It’s a grind to get here, which reminds him of his past, but it’s a grind to stay here. Fastlane brings on a match where Styles doesn’t need to be pinned in order to lose the title. The odds are against him once again, but he won’t cry or complain about it. He’s just gonna fight.

“This is SmackDown Live, the House that AJ Styles Built!” And sometimes, life just gets the better of you. Styles lost to John Cena, and Cena’s never at a loss for words.

We flashback to Raw last night, Cena talking about breaking the record of 16 WWE world championships, at Styles’ expense. Fastlane paves the Road to Wrestlemania, but Cena said Styles could just make his rematch at Wrestlemania. That’s not what Styles wants, and that’s not what the WWE Universe wants. Styles wants his Wrestlemania Moment by taking the most prestigious title to the Grandest Stage of Them All to defend them against the Best, and that’s Shinsuke Nakamura! Who would have ever dreamed that match could happen in the WWE? Styles isn’t’ just fighting for himself, he’s fighting for “us”. And his win at Fastlane will be Phenomenal.

However Ziggler makes his entrance to respond.

This is “for us”? What happened ot Styles? He used to be cool. SmackDown, the House that AJ Styles Built? He’s not phenomenal, he’s just desperate. Styles is desperate? From the guy who’s been here 13 years yet hasn’t reached his full potential? Says the guy that took a decade to even enter the House Dolph Ziggler Built! But let’s relax, Ziggler just wants Styles to know that at Fastlane, Styles will lose. It’s not numbers, odds, math, or any of that, it’s that Styles’ head isn’t in the right place. Styles wants to do it for the people, but Ziggler tells him about “the people”: the second you let them down, they will stab you in the back.

Ziggler has a story: he was told to his face that he’d never, ever be champion. But he always kicked down obstacles or got up from being tripped up. And somehow, Ziggler became Mr. Money in the Bank to become World Heavyweight Champion. He and the fans relished in it together, but “they didn’t deserve it.” The fans did what they always do: nothing! Ziggler proved he was “the best that ever happened to this company”, and the fact he has yet to have a 1v1 Wrestlemania match “is criminal.” Styles can say “us”, “we”, “them” but the fact is, they don’t care about your feelings. Take that dream match and shove it!

Well if that’s how Ziggler feels, let’s move this match up! Ziggler agrees, and it’s happening!

 

AJ Styles VS Dolph Ziggler!

With both men ready to fight, the Main Event happens now! The bell rings, Styles blocks the Superkick and goes for Clash but Ziggler bails out. Ziggler composes himself before returning, and he ties up with Styles. Ziggler gets the wristlock, then works into a takedown cover, ONE. Styles switches and floats to a facelock, but Ziggler gets to ropes. The break is tense but clean, and they circle again. Another tie up, waistlock for Styles but Ziggler elbows out. Ziggler throws a haymaker, then rolls Styles to a cover, TWO. They stand up, circle again, and Styles gets the waistlock to a takedown. Styles stays on Ziggler with a headlock, but Ziggler snapmares out. Ziggler dropkicks Styles down, then embraces the heat.

Ziggler brings Styles into a corner, then snapmares him back out for the elbow drop. Cover, ONE, but Ziggler stays on Styles with a chinlock. He drags Styles down, partial body scissors on. The fans rally while Styles works his way up and out of the hold. Ziggler keeps on the headlock, but Styles fights his way out. Styles whips and things speed up, Styles dropkicks Ziggler back. Ziggler gets out of the ring again, and Styles waits for him to return. Ziggler climbs up but then Styles kicks him back down. The ring count resets, and Ziggler gets up again, but Styles slingshot forearms to knock him down!

The champion has control while we go picture in picture.

Styles brings Ziggler up and into the ring, then drags Ziggler up into a corner. He kicks Ziggler right in the ribs, and Ziggler falls to the mat. Styles brings him back up, lift for the side backbreaker. Cover, TWO, but Styles keeps his cool. He stalks Ziggler to the ropes, but Ziggler hits back. Styles clubs Ziggler in the back, then brings him up in a corner for a stiff chop. Ziggler leans against the ropes, but Styles snapmares him for the running knee drop. Ziggler rolls all the way out, but Styles pursues. Styles puts Ziggler back in the ring but Ziggler pounces while we go back to single picture.

Ziggler catches his breath while Styles clutches his back on the outside. Ziggler wants the count out win, so he encourages the ref to count. Styles beats the count, but Ziggler is on him with a scrape of the laces on his face. Ziggler goes after Styles in the corner, then grinds Styles’ face on the ropes. Ziggler walks around to embrace the heat but Styles fights back with chops. Styles runs, but into a big back body drop! Cover, TWO, but Ziggler keeps calm. He grins as he watches Styles on the mat, then brings him up and into a corner. Ziggler gives Styles a forearm, then scrapes Styles’ face, but Styles hits back with a haymaker. Styles blocks to counter, then unleashes the Phenomenal Blitz! Ziggler goes down, Styles gets running, sliding forearm knocks Ziggler down again!

Ziggler crawls to a corner, Styles goes to the opposite corner and runs in, big corner clothesline. Fireman’s carry but Ziggler grabs ropes and slips out to rake the eyes. He kicks low, Famouser hits! TWO, and Ziggler grows frustrated. Styles rolls away for separation, then crawls back to meet Ziggler. Ziggler throws a haymaker, Styles throws one back. They brawl back and forth with heavy hands, but Ziggler kicks low to then forearm Styles against ropes. Styles staggers up and out to the apron, but Ziggler comes over. ZIggler drags Styles up, and goes to suplex him back in but Styles blocks. Styles tries to suplex Ziggler out but Ziggler resists. They go back and forth, but it’s Styles who brings Ziggler outside with him. Ziggler trips Styles up to catapult him into a post!

Styles goes down, we go to break.

SmackDown returns, and Ziggler stops Styles on the top rope with right hands. Ziggler drags Styles off the top to be in Clash position, bu Styles slips that around to try for a submission. Ziggler slips out so Styles SUPER– No, Ziggler blocks the kick and deflects it into ropes, to Zig-Zag! Cover, TWO! Styles survives the Show-Off’s best move, but now the match is invaded by Kevin & Sami! Sami & Kevin attack Styles and Ziggler both to throw this match out! Kevin & Sami continue to beat down Styles and Ziggler, embracing the heat from the fans.

But then Styles and Ziggler fight Kevin & Sami off! They send Sami & Kevin running, so SmackDown Commissioner, Shane McMahon, appears.

Shane O’Mac wonders if Kevin & Sami were trying to take out two opponents before Fastlane. But since they want a match so bad, get back in the ring. Green Bay probably expects a tag team match, but Shane knows this is about bringing the best. And since we’re days away from Fastlane, let’s change things up! AJ Styles VS Dolph Ziggler VS Kevin Owens VS Sami Zayn VS one more for a Fatal 5! Yes, it’s Baron Corbin!

 

Fatal 5 Way: AJ Styles VS Dolph Ziggler VS Kevin Owens VS Sami Zayn VS Baron Corbin!

This was the Fastlane WWE Championship match until John Cena won his way in. Who will win this what-could-have-been just days before the real deal?

We come into this match while it’s under way, and Sami throws Styles into barriers. Ziggler is also on the outside while Corbin throws Kevin into barriers, too. Corbin then goes after Sami to put him into barriers. Ziggler and Kevin crawl back to the ring while Corbin puts Sami in. Styles is not far behind while Corbin enters the ring to go after Sami more. Corbin unloads right hands, and even hits Styles. Kevin goes after Corbin but Corbin backs him down with elbows. Corbin goes after Ziggler with a stiff right, then another. He goes after STyels with a corner to corner whip, bouncing Stylse off the post, then throws him across the way! Corbin runs at Ziggler but Ziggler dumps him out, for Sami and Kevin to pounce on! Kevin & Sami throw Corbin into steel steps, working together as always.

Sami & Kevin go after Styles and Ziggler in the ring again, because “This is MY Show”, according to Kevin. Sami whips Ziggler and runs him over, then Kevin drops the back senton. Kevin covers, TWO. Kevin grinds his forearm into Ziggler while Sami keeps Corbin out and Styles down. Sami drags Styles up while Kevin stomps Ziggler, then wrecks Corbin with another dropkick. Kevin goes after Styles again, then Sami drags Styles up. They double whip Styles, drop toehold to a back senton on Styles’ back.

Cover, TWO, but #Kami keeps control. Sami grinds Ziggler while Kevin grinds Styles, and Corbin is still on the outside while they hug.  Kevin kicks Corbin down again, then Sami drags Corbin back up. Corbin shoves Sami away then knocks Kevin, Corbin returns to boot Sami. SUPERKICK from Kevin, Famouser from Ziggler! Helluva Kick from Sami, but Styles Pele kicks Sami! Everyone is down while we go to break.

SmackDown returns once more, and Sami fights against Styles on the top rope. Ziggler comes over to add on, but Sami still holds on. Corbin and Kevin come over now, and we have a full Five-Man Tower of Doom!

Double powerbombs and double superplex! Everyone is down, with Styles and Kevin spilling out of the ring. Corbin slowly stands up with Sami and Ziggler in opposite corners. Corbin runs and clotheslines Ziggler, than clotheslines Sami. Ziggler dodges, stinger splash to Sami and one to Corbin. Sami evades but runs into Corbin’s boot! Ziggler runs out but Sami feeds him into Corbin and those two collide. Blue Thunder Bomb! But Styles breaks the cover! Sami throws Styles out then returns to Ziggler.

Kevin returns but Ziggler throws Sami out. Kevin German Suplexes Ziggler! He takes aim from the corner but Corbin runs in, Kevin evades to send him into the post! Then Kevin hits the cannonball on Ziggler, and Vader Bomb elbows Corbin! Cover, but Styles breaks that up, too! Kevin goes after Styles, throwing him out, but Ziggler hits Kevin with the satellite DDT! Corbin goes after Ziggler, back suplex but Ziggler escapes to ZIG-ZAG! Sami returns, chop and acrobatic moves, but Ziggler avoids the DDT to SUPERKICK Sami down! Cover, but Styles breaks this for a hat trick! Corbin returns and goes after Styles, then throws him out. Styles stays on the apron, shoulders back in, and slingshots, but into a stiff right hand!

Sami dodges Corbin, who slides out and in for a lariat! Corbin blocks the Superkick to hit Ziggler with the Choke Slam Backbreaker, then goes after Kevin. Kevin boots him back, but runs into DEEP SIX! Cover, but Styles breaks this for four! Everyone is down from exhaustion and soreness.

Styles sits up first while the fans cheer. Corbin gets up, too, and goes after Styles, but Styles enziguris and clotheslines him out. Ziggler tries but is denied, Styles heel kicks him down. Styles boots Sami away, then moonsault DDT’s him down! Styles rolls out to the apron and takes aim, but has to sliding knee Corbin down. Ziggler runs over but is thrown out, #Kami get Styles! HELLUVA KICK on Kevin?! Sami wins?! Was this Sami’s plan all along?! Are there truly no friends when it comes to the WWE Championship?

When Kevin comes to, he’s just a shocked.

Interview on stage with Sami Zayn.

After everything Sami promised his “best friend”, why? Why? How about Sami is the best WWE has? Or the fact that Sami has been without a doubt, the most overlooked superstar? Why is she asking dumb questions? This may not have been about the title tonight, but this was about the best, and that’s SAMI ZAYN! Will he prove this all over again when the gold is on the line?

 

My Thoughts:

What a truly strange episode of SmackDown, even for a go-home. The night starts with the Women’s Championship face-to-face encounter, and both women do well with their promos to frame this match’s story. However, the segment doesn’t really resolve itself given the strange segue into the next segment. Roode appearing makes sense because he is both Charlotte’s Mixed Match Challenge partner and because he wants to watch his challenger up close. Orton VS Mahal was alright, nothing too different from their multiple matches before this. The usual “this guy throws that guy into the other guy” was a nice touch, it finally gets Roode and Orton going after each other, and perhaps gives Mahal his way into the US Championship scene on the home stretch to ‘Mania. In which case, I hope Roode retains to keep match-ups fresh.

Nice to hear we’re getting Rusev VS Nakamura even if it’s just to tide them both over, they can have a really good match. Keeping the Tag Team Division off helps give time to everything else, such as Becky VS Carmella 1v1 and set-up for a Woman’s Tag Team Match at Fastlane. Keeping Carmella busy on the Fastlane card could be both a way to stop a MITB cash-in or a smokescreen so we won’t expect it.

The promos before the “moved up” main event were only alright, but were still good with how Styles and Ziggler work-shoot on each other. They have a great 15 minutes before things are “ruined”, and then we get an honestly amazing Fatal 5. It seems odd that we’d get what is 90% of the Fastlane match for free, but it was still great action from everyone involved, especially Corbin for the stretch near the end. And then that swerve ending was great, because it really seemed like Sami meant it when he said he’d just lie down for Kevin. Sami may have just out-Heeled Kevin, and could easily become the superior Heel in this long and winding story SmackDown has been giving us. Assuming Sami & Kevin don’t win the title, I could see a great grudge match between them at ‘Mania as the blow-off to all of it.

My Score: 8/10


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Coverage

Mitchell’s WWE Extreme Rules Report! (7/15/18)

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This card’s stacked with a Raw Women’s Championship Extreme Rules, a 30-Minute Ironman Intercontinental Championship, and a WWE Championship Rusev Day!

 

All images courtesy of the WWE’s official Twitter

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Kickoff Show: Andrade “Cien” Almas w/ Zelina Vega VS Sin Cara; Almas wins.
  • Kickoff Show: Six Man Tag Tables Match: SAnitY VS The New Day; SAnitY wins.
  • Raw Tag Team Championships: The Deleters of Worlds VS The B Team; wins and
  • Finn Balor VS Constable Baron Corbin; wins.
  • SmackDown Women’s Championship Shark Cage Match: Carmella w/ James Ellsworth (in a Shark Cage) VS Asuka; wins and
  • Raw Women’s Championship Extreme Rules Match: Alexa Bliss VS Nia Jax; wins and
  • WWE United States Championship: Jeff Hardy VS Shinsuke Nakamura; wins and
  • WWE Intercontinental Championship 30 Minute Ironman Match: Dolph Ziggler w/ Drew McIntyre VS Seth Rollins; wins and
  • SmackDown Tag Team Championships: The Bludgeon Brothers VS Team Hell No; wins and
  • Steel Cage Match: Braun Strowman VS Kevin Owens; wins.
  • Roman Reigns VS Bobby Lashley; wins.
  • WWE Championship: AJ Styles VS Rusev w/ Aiden English; wins and

PLAY BY PLAY

Finn Balor joins the Kickoff Panel!

What does he think about Braun Strowman VS Kevin Owens in a Cage? Finn doesn’t envy Kevin tonight. As for Baron Corbin, Finn feels Corbin’s singing voice is the only thing worse than his wardrobe. Let’s just say Corbin isn’t American Idol material. Finn’s been dealing with guys like Corbin, but he’s gonna chop this tree down. And if it means making Stephanie McMahon an enemy for it, he’ll happily do it. Can the Extraordinary Man stop the Constable from ruining Raw?

 

Kickoff Show: Andrade “Cien” Almas w/ Zelina Vega VS Sin Cara!

Former amigos are now enemies as El Idolo has been listening to his manager and following her business plan. Almas won on SmackDown, but can he do it just minutes away from Extreme Rules?

The bell rings and the rematch begins. Almas swings on Sin Cara with a heavy hayamker, then dodges him. Sin Cara tilt-o-whirls to arm-drag, then headscissors! Almas slips out but Sin Cara runs. Almas comes in but Sin Cara anticipates his counter to dump him out again. Sin Cara builds speed to DIVE, but Almas throws him into barriers! Vega likes that, and Sin Cara writhes while Almas catches his breath. Almas puts Sin Cara in the ring, but fans rally up for the masked luchador. Almas stomps away on Sin Cara, then throws forearms. He runs and dropkicks Sin Cara in the head. Almas stomps Sin Cara more, then drags him up to whip him to a corner. Sin Cara tries to boot, but gets caught into a draping backbreaker and DDT. Cover, TWO.

Vega grows frustrated now, she wants Almas to finish this fast. Sin Cara hits back, then runs, but into a back elbow! He ends up outside the ring now, and Almas runs to Tranquilo! Vega joins him, and the two have control while we go picture in picture.

Almas fetches Sin Cara ot chop him against the barrier. Vega applauds Almas as he drags Sin Cara up and into the ring. Almas stalks and stomps Sin Cara more, then wrenches the arm in a seated armbar. Fans rally and Sin Cara fights his way up. Sin Cara fights back but Almas wrangles him down while we go to single picture. Almas wrenches harder, but Sin Cara refuses to quit. Fans rally up again and Sin Cara stands. Sin Cara fights back again, then backs Almas down to arm-drag him away. Sin Cara dodges from the corner, then throws forearms. Almas throws back and they brawl. Sin Cara chops and chops, then whips. Almas reverses, but Sin Cara springboards for the crossbody! Then again for the quebrada! Sin Cara is fired up, but is tossed up, for another tilt-o-whirl spike-rana! Cover, TWO!

Vega is furious but Sin Cara is ready. Sin Cara brings Almas up, but Almas blocks the suplex. Almas slips out and boots back, then climbs up. Sin Cara swing kicks Almas! Almas is stuck up top and Sin Cara chops him. Sin Cara positions Almas then climbs up, but Almas fights back. Almas trips Sin Cara up, Tree of Woe but Sin Cara slips out to shove Almas down! Almas hits the apron back first, then crawls into the ring. Sin Cara goes up, for a SUPER huricanrana! BOth men crash and burn to the ground, but Sin Cara is up first. He puts Almas in the ring, climbs up again, FROG SPLASH! But Vega distracts on the apron! Almas dropkicks Sin Cara down. Vega chants for them, Almas gives us CIEN KNEES! And the Hammerlock DDT! Cover, Almas wins!

Winner: Andrade “Cien” Almas, by pinfall

El Idolo gets the sweep, but with help from his business partner this time. Will Sin Cara get some back-up before trying again? Or are Almas & Vega on to bigger and better things?

 

Shinsuke Nakamura is in the Social Media Lounge.

Can he hear Renee on the panel? Does he have a working mic? The King of Strong Style is set to face Jeff Hardy, how does he feel about the United States Champion? Shinsuke continues to “not hear” anyone. But then he speaks up, claiming “bad connection.” After his rivalry with AJ Styles, how important is tonight’s win? “You’re a clown, like Jeff Hardy.” Perhaps, but how important is winning the US title? What? Well, one artist to another, Nakamura respects Hardy. But tonight, Hardy will lose his canvas, his paint, and his title. With that, Nakamura’s time is over, but is it really just beginning?

 

Dolph Ziggler & Drew McIntyre join the Kickoff panel.

The pulse of the nation wants THE top champion on Raw to be around, and that’s Ziggler. Ziggler has made his career out of turning small opportunities into big ones. “Opportunist” gets a negative connotation, but Ziggler is proud to be one. Ziggler’s been in Rollins’ spot, with fans behind you as well as against you. The WWE Universe is the 12th Man, but they’re also very fickle. You need to worry about yourself and the title, oh and he has McIntyre watching his back. Rollins lost to the “psychopath” Scotsman, and now McIntyre can be ringside for that Ironman Match.

So McIntyre is a part of Ziggler’s strategy? Yes, because McIntyre isn’t like the WWE Universe, who are only behind Rollins while they’re here. McIntyre is on Ziggler’s side 24/7, and they’re not tired of winning. Ziggler won’t worry about stealing the show, he’s just here to win. Main event no matter the spot, but will Rollins be the one stealing the win?

 

Kickoff Show: Six Man Tag Tables Match: SAnitY VS The New Day!

Awwwwww~ Pittsburgh! Don’t you dare be sour! Someone is going through a table, so feel~ the power~! Can the power of positivity overcome pure chaos? Or will Eric Young and his anarchic allies begin their own Purge in SmackDown?

The bell rings, annd it’s a brawl! All six men pair off as Big E goes after Killian Dain and Kofi clotheslines Alexander Wolfe out of the ring. Woods clubs away on Young but Young whips. Woods reverses and sends Young out of the ring while Big E throws Dain into steps! Kofi kicks Wolfe while he’s down, and then the New Day present the first table! They set it up but SAnitY pounces! Wolfe clubs Big E while Young kicks Kofi. Dain has Woods while the others put Big E in the ring. Young & Wolfe stomp away then drag Big E up for body shots. Big E slips out and Young hits Wolfe by accident. Big E dumps Young out, and then runs at them both, but into double knees! Wolfe drags E up while Young climbs. Swinging neckbreaker then elbow drop in that order!

Woods and Kofi have wiped out “Big Damo” in the meantime, but that still leaves Big E alone against two opponents. We go picture in picture while E endures stomps. Wolfe brings Big E up for a haymaker from Young. Young and Wolfe kick and choke Big E against ropes, and there are no rules keeping them from doing it. But Big E revives to throw hands! Only for Young to clobber him again. Young & Wolfe choke Big E more while we go back to single picture. They haul Big E up, but Big E holds on. Kofi & Woods return to throw Wolfe & Young out! Then together, Woods & Kofi FLY! They wipe out Young & Wolfe, but Big Damo returns, to DIVE!!

The Beast of Belfast wipes them both out, then he drags Kofi up and into the ring. SAnitY regroups to go after Kofi while getting a table of their own. Make that two tables! Wolfe hoists Kofi up to the top rope while the tables are set up. Young keeps Woods and Big E down while the preparations finish. Wolfe wants a STACK, so that’s what they make! Kofi resists, so Young & Damo come in to help. Big E goes after Big Damo, yurinagi and backstabber with Woods’ help! The New Day regroup to help Kofi with Young & Wolfe. Double powerbomb stomps! Steel City is fired up as The New Day stand. Big E drags Young up while Kofi kicks Wolfe out. They bring Young over to the first table, and set him up. Kofi climbs but Damo drags him down off the top!

Big E and Woods run in, but into a clothesline, and a Michinoku Driver that drives Woods into Big E! Kofi kicks Damo in the corner, then Trouble in Paradise! Damo goes down, and Young is still on that table. Kofi takes aim, but Wolfe runs in. Wolfe is sent onto the apron, but Young gets away while Wolfe picks Kofi up. Kofi turns it around, but Wolfe holds on for dear life. Wolfe fights back and even bites Kofi’s face! Kofi teeters, Young jumps to drive Kofi through!!

Winners: SAnitY, Kofi going through table

Anarchy rules the day! Is this a new day of doom and gloom for SmackDown’s Tag Team Division?

 

The Deleters of Worlds speak.

“B Team, you mendacious monkeys!” The rules of extreme shall end their streak of luck. “We’re here, and we’re next.”

 

WWE takes it to the Extreme!

Two alphas fight for supremacy, two frenemies reunite, and two men go for no less than 30 minutes to decide who is the rightful Intercontinental Championship, and that’s only some of what’s in store for tonight. The Goddess and Irresistible Force go to the Extreme with the namesake match. A Prizefighter is stuck in a cage with a Monster! And a Bulgarian Brute looks to be better than Phenomenal in his first world title match! Who will be victorious on this 10th anniversary of Extreme Rules!?

 

Raw Tag Team Championships: The Deleters of Worlds VS The B Team!

The undefeated “Best” Team of Monday Night Raw wishes to mock and belittle the WOKEN Wisdom of the Consumer of Terrestrial Entities and the vessel known as Matt Hardy. However, this only served to raise the ire of both eternal beings, and now there must be RETRIBUTION! Will Axel & Bo be EATEN, DELETED and DEFEATED!?

 


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Mitchell’s Ring of Honor Report! (7/7/18)

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ROH WRESTLING TELEVISION, Episode 355

ROH goes to the extreme as Cheeseburger and Bully Ray battle in a No Holds Barred Match! With no rules but to win, can Burger survive the hardcore legend?!

 

All images courtesy of the Fite.TV app and streaming service

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Riley Shepard & Gabby Ortiz VS Sumie Sakai & Stella Grey; Sumie & Stella win.
  • No Holds Barred: Bully Ray Dudley VS Cheeseburger; Bully Ray wins.
  • Titan VS Cody w/ Brandi Rhodes & Bernard the Business Bear; Cody wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Cody & Brandi Rhodes speak.

“You know those stories about pirates that plundered a ship and leave a man behind, marauders that raid a village and leave one behind?” Both fiction and reality, one person was always left behind to tell the tale. Titan, you’re going to experience that as Cody leaves just enough gas left for you to crawl back to CMLL. That way, he can tell them that if they want to maintain a relationship with Cody’s ROH, they need to send someone bigger, better. No one’s bigger than Cody. Cody laughs and hugs his wife, but will he need to be consoled by her after tonight?

 

Riley Shepard & Gabby Ortiz VS Sumie Sakai & Stella Grey!

The Women of Honor return as the inaugural ROH WOH Champion teams with the ROH Dojo graduate to take on the debuting Geek Gladiator and returning Gift of Gab. Can the Ray of Sunshine continue on her roll since becoming champion, even in 2v2 competition? Or will there be a shocking non-title upset from the Monster Factory graduates?

The Code of Honor is upheld, and Stella starts with Riley. They circle with the bell and tie up. Riley gets a headlock then wrenches the arm. Stella rolls through to reverse the wrench, then brings Riley to the mat. Riley gets up and arm-drags but Stella holds on. Stella has Riley in the armlock, but Riley gets up and whips. Stella reverses the whip, then drop toeholds, and Sumie adds the dropkick before Stella hits the elbow drop. Sumie goes back to her corner while Stella covers, TWO.

Stella brings Riley up but Riley rolls Stella away from Sumie. Riley kicks Stella down, then tags to Gabby. Gabby neck snaps Stella then hits a basement dropkick. Cover, TWO, but Gabby keeps her cool. Fans rally up while Gabby tags Riley back. They double Russian leg sweep Stella, then Riley cartwheels to drop knees. Cover, TWO, but Gabby & the Geek keep control while we go to break.

ROH returns and Stella suplex fights with Gabby. They go for a suplex at the same time, but cancel out. Stella suddenly throws Gabby overhead! Stella crawls for Sumie while fans fire up. Gabby crawls for Riley, hot tags to her and Sumie! Sumie rallies on Riley with Mongolian chops! She’s all fired up as she whips but Riley reverses, only for Sumie to hammerlock and forearm Riley! Sumie runs, and bowls Riley over with a forearm smash! She hits the shining wizard, covers, but Gabby breaks it up quick. Gabby and Riley double whips Sumie, but Sumie breaks through to hit them with double clotheslines! Gabby and Riley end up in opposite corners, so Sumie forearms Riley before grinding a boot into Gabby.

Sumie hits Riley with another forearm, then the swinging knee! She goes after Gabby but Gabby puts her on the apron. Sumie knocks Gabby away, then climbs up top. Missile dropkick! Riley gets up to roll Sumie, TWO! Sumie gets back at her with the TJ Neckbreaker! TWO! Sumie’s surprised, but she’s not done yet. She brings Riley up but Riley jawbreakers. Gabby returns for a jumping DDT! Riley fireman’s carry but Sumie slips out. Riley kicks away and rock Sumie with a roundhouse. Cover, but Stella breaks it just in time. Gabby hits Stella, then whips Stella, only for Stella to SPEAR her down! Riley gets Stella with an Exploder! She swings on Sumie but Sumie counters with a back elbow. Sumie then gets Riley in the Smash Mouth!

Cover, Sumie & Stella win!

Winners: Sumie Sakai & Stella Grey, Sumie pinning

Gabby & Riley did the Monster Factory proud, but it wasn’t enough to stop this Ray of Sunshine. Will the star of Japan’s Jersey Shore make this inaugural reign an instant classic?

 

ROH looks at what led to tonight’s No Holds Barred match.

Cheeseburger requested such an intense match after everything Bully Ray has done to him. It was back at Supercard of Honor XII that The Dawgs challenged Burger to a match, but Burger needed a partner. So Burger turned to a man he thought would help him in the tag team hall of fame legend. Bully accepted, and the two rallied on Rhett & Ferrara, only for Bully to turn on Burger mid-match! Bully was disgusted by Burger putting him on the spot. To Bully, Burger and wrestlers like him are what’s wrong with wrestling today.

Then, as Burger looked for payback at War of the Worlds back in May, Bully robbed him of it with a low blow! Bully let himself be counted out as he glared at fans, then came back to hurt Burger more with a powerbomb. Burger got back at Bully a couple days later with a low blow, only to suffer a SUPER sit-out powerbomb! Bully added insult to injury as he used chains to whip and lash Burger. Burger wins on the record books, but he wants more. Now he will enter the hardcore legend’s territory in a match with No Disqualifications and No Count Outs! Will Burger truly win against his Bully? Or will he be lucky to survive?!

 

No Holds Barred: Bully Ray Dudley VS Cheeseburger!

ROH is about to go extreme!

It’s Burger Time, but this won’t be fun and games. Bully literally let Burger win their past two meetings, once by disqualification, then by count-out. Now there’s no way for Bully to keep himself protected from a loss to the underdog, will Bully be a man and finish this fight?

Bully sure seems to do something, as he rushes the ring, already armed with a kendo stick!

Though, he doesn’t use it yet, as he sneaks up behind the fired up Burger for a low blow! Burger tumbles down and fans rain down boos and jeers as the bell rings. Fans do cheer “E C Dub! E C Dub!” for the legend, too, as the Hammerstein Ballroom is old stomping grounds for one half of Team 3D. Bully also shows he has a cheese grater for the Cheeseburger. Burger is clutching his nuts but Bully won’t give him time to rest. He hammers Burger down then brings in a trash can to SMASH Burger with it! Bully grimaces down at Burger as he drags him over, to whip him into barriers! Bully trash talks Burger, egging him on as he hammers Burger again. He brings Burger up and around to bounce off the timekeeper’s table.

Cary Silkin gets up from his seat, not wanting to be this close to the action, and Bully gets in his face about it. The fans sense a table in their future, but Bully puts Burger into the ring instead. Bully talks trash to Cary again, then goes back to Burger. Fans let Bully know what they think of him as he brings Burger up. Bully sets Burger on the top rope, and into a Tree of Woe, to stand on the crotch! Bully tortures Burger’s nuggets, and reminds everyone, especially the referee, that there are no disqualifications. He starts intimidating the referee, and fans boo and jeer. Bully watches Burger on the mat, refusing to quit. Burger drags himself up but Bully is on him again with a trophy lift! And then throws him to the mat! Bully mocks the fans by lending an ear, brother.

Bully, still talking crap to Cary, then grabs that kendo stick and takes his time playing around. He dares the ref to do something, then he SMACKS Burger across the back. Burger writhes in pain but Bully won’t end it. Bully continues to, well, bully the referee, but we take a commercial break.

ROH returns but Bully still toys with Burger. He lifts Burger up with the kendo stick to jab it into Burger’s ribs. Bully says “This is what you wanted.” He puts up his hands to jab and jab away. Burger wobbles as Bully winds up the Bionic Elbow, but Bully takes too long and Burger picks up the kendo stick! Burger SMACKS Bully back! And his front! Fans are fired up with Burger as he just swings for the fences! Bully is writhing in pain now as fans chant for Burger. Burger keeps going, then chokes Bully with the stick! Bully snapmares Burger off, then kicks him before picking him up for a powerbomb TOSS!

Burger crash lands on the mat, but Bully isn’t done with him. Bully is stinging from the kendo stick strikes, but Hammerstein shouts “We Want Tables!” Bully rejects that idea to present a chain! He whips and slaps Burger over and over with the steel, daring Burger to get up. The referee won’t let Bully continue, “He’s had enough!” Bully says “He’s had enough when I say he’s had a enough.” The ref pleads with Bully but Bully whips HIM with the chain! That’s the last straw for Colt Cabana, he rushes the ring!

Cabana SPEARS Bully and throws furious right hands! Hammerstein is thunderous as Cabana grabs that chain, to clothesline Bully with it! Fans are chanting “Colt Cabana!” as the ROH veteran takes that cheese grater, and hands it to Burger! He brings Bully around to open the way, and Burger goes up to ask, WAZZUP!? The cheese grater to the nuts, that’s what! And Burger grinds it in deep! Fans are thunderous for Burger, as Cabana tells him, “Burger! Get the tables!” Fans like that!

Burger & Cabana grab a table, drag it into the ring, but Bully revives and grabs Burger, to back suplex him down. Cabana is beside himself as Bully brings the table out for his own uses. Cabana tries to coach Burger up but Bully is on him again. Bully brings Burger over, sets him on the table, then hammers away to keep him there. Bully climbs up, takes aim, and leaps, but Burger dodges! The splash belly-flops through the table!

Burger crawls over, makes the cover, but there’s no referee! Another one appears, counts, TWO!! If only there wasn’t the delay, Burger would’ve won by now. But Burger still has something left. He fires up, takes aim, but now BJ Whitmer brings Cabana away from ringside. Bully boots Burger down, covers, Bully wins!

Winner: Bully Ray Dudley, by pinfall

Just as Burger was closing in on true victory, Bully pulls a win out of nowhere. The referee helps him stand up, but Bully shoves him out of the ring! Bully celebrates for himself, and surprisingly doesn’t beat down Burger more. Will this bully ever get what he truly deserves?

 

It’s Coleman’s Pulpit!

The Most Versatile Man in Sports Today returns to bring us the truth, for the truth will help you see. Today’s guest, or rather guests, are the most requested guests and the ROH World Six Man Tag Team Champions, The Kingdom.

The Kingdom’s Matt Taven & TK O’Ryan are honored to be on the show, they’re big fans of Caprice Coleman. Huge fans even. They were raised right, because they never come to a party without bringing a gift. The Kingdom remembers Coleman’s days in the Rebellion, and that sweet beret. They have a nice little surprise: a brand new… Dunce cap! Or rather, “Melvin” cap. Oh, and balloons, courtesy of Vinnie Marseglia. Want some wine? No thanks. Well alright. Vinnie drinks his from a balloon…?

Moving on, the two-time Six Man champs are going to learn who their next contenders are after a five-team Gauntlet match! Isn’t that a little fishy? The Kingdom had to wait a whole year to get their rematch, but a “merry bunch of Melvins” get a shortcut to a title match? Caprice is a smart man, is that a conspiracy to him? Perhaps. Coleman remembers a story, there was a guy who got everything handed to him. His parents bought him a luxury sedan for his 16th birthday, but then he wrecked it! So what did he do then? He just asked for another, and his parents got him one. This time it was a mid-size, because now he’d have to drive his siblings around. This “adversity” made that young man spruce up that car into the best out of what they head. Like The Kingdom and the titles!

Hey, wait. Are they the sedan in this story?! Is Coleman claiming there’s no conspiracy?! Well he just thought they were passed that. There IS a conspiracy! Matt is #TwoBeltsOneTaven and he should have THREE belts! He’s the real ROH World Champion! And by the way, that hat was calling Coleman a Melvin the entire time. Coleman tells “Pauly Shore” here that he is no Melvin, and they are his guests, “you jive turkey!” Says you, you Melvin jive turkey SUCKA! Back at you, you jive TIVE turkey! That’s Dr. Jive Turkey to you, Melvin! Doctor? More like SUCKA Jive Tive- Balloon pop. Y’all’re crazy. And that’s coming from Vinnie. Taven isn’t crazy, he’s a champion. And Coleman’s pocket square isn’t even real. The Kingdom storm out, leaving Coleman to close his segment with a “See you later.”

 

SoCal Uncensored speaks.

“Matt Taven, the Kingdom, I have to applaud you.” First, they took advantage of Three-Team Six Man chaos to keep those titles in the UK. Second, there’s now a “wacky gauntlet” so that SCU has to battle everyone else for a rematch they should already have. That’s fine by Daniels, because the SCU is happy to beat up all the filler ROH creates for this gauntlet to happen. In New York, all the wannabe badass trios can bring it on, because the SCU will bring that #MandatoryViolence. Will Daniels, Kaz & Scorpio win against four other would-be contenders to get their rematch with The Kingdom?

 

The Dawgs are desperate.

They need a third man to even be part of the Six Man Tag Gauntlet, but if they want Shane Taylor to be that third man, they need lots and lots of cash! Maybe they can squeeze some of the other guys for money. Ryan Nova comes along but doesn’t want any trouble. Then give up some cash! He doesn’t have any on him, so Rhett shakes him down. Look, it’s his wallet! Wait, all he has is $6 and a bunch of receipts? Now what? Can they at least give Ryan his wallet back? Yes, and a swift jab, too! “Keep the change, you filthy animal.” The Dawgs laugh their way out, but with barely enough money for drinks, how are they gonna pay the Notorious Hitman?

 

Titan VS Cody w/ Brandi Rhodes & Bernard the Business Bear!

The crossover of ROH and CMLL continue, but the American Nightmare vows to make this an ultimatum. Will the former ROH World Champion prove the oldest promotion needs to step it up? Or will he find that he’s the one not on CMLL’s level?

Cody upholds the Code of Honor with Titan, but then wants Titan to kiss the ring. Titan declines, he just wants to wrestle. The bell rings and the two circle. Cody wants Titan to hold on a moment, as he gets some push-ups in. Cody gets his pump and flexes, so Titan shows off his flexibility with neck stretches. Fans like that, and even Cody applauds. Fans chant “Lucha! Lucha!” for CMLL as Cody and Titan circle again. They tie up, Cody gets a headlock and takeover, but Titan stands back up. Titan fights out then powers out, but Cody runs him over. Titan kips back up, and Cody admits that was good. But then Cody kicks low and drops for the uppercut.

Titan comes back with quick kicks, then whips. Cody reverses and things speed up, but Titan shows his balance with the handstand, only for Cody to kick him down. Cody flexes to embrace both cheers and jeers. He stalks Titan to a corner, then whips him corner to corner, but Titan reverses. Titan runs in but is put on the apron. Titan swing kicks Cody away, then springboards for a crossbody! Dropkick on top, and Titan dares Cody to come back. Titan runs, but Bernard swipes at him! Titan backs the bear down, but Cody comes back. Cody misses but then Brandi trips Titan up. Cody pounces on Titan, then covers. TWO, but the former champion is still in control while we go to one more break.

ROH returns once more, and Cody goes after Titan’s mask! The referee counts so Cody backs off to hear the fans boo and jeer, brother. Fans only boo and jeer more as Cody goes side to side. Cody goes back to Titan and whips him into a corner. Cody gives a corner clothesline, then another. He slaps Titan, then embraces the heat. Cody runs corner to corner, but Titan follows with a big corner clothesline! Titan kicks Cody between ropes over and over, then springboards for a missile dropkick! He keeps moving, giving another dropkick to send Cody out. Titan and the fans rally up, and Titan builds speed, but Bernard trips him! Titan goes after Bernard, but then Cody rushes in. Cody swings on Titan, but Titan dodges and Cody hits Bernard instead! Cody checks on Bernard, but then Titan mule kicks and SUPER Asai Moonsaults!

Titan wipes out both Cody and Bernard! Bernard’s head came off! Is he dead?! Brandi tries to help the mascot, but Titan grabs her by the sling. The referee warns Titan, and Titan thinks better of it, so he just hits Cody again. Titan puts Cody back in the ring, then climbs up top. Fans fire up, but Cody sees him and goes to the opposite side. Titan hops down, but Cody boots him down! Cody shouts for Brandi to give him something. She throws in her hairspray, but it ends up closer to Titan. Titan picks it up, but the referee takes it away. This leaves Titan open to Cody’s low blow kick! Then Beautiful Disaster Kick! TWO!? Titan survives somehow, but Cody grows frustrated.

Cody drags Titan up, and the two brawl with forearms. They go back and forth, then Cody jabs and throws haymakers. Cody runs, but Titan goes Matrix to then calf kick! Titan runs, but Cody uses the ref as a shield. Titan stops, and in the distraction, Cody snatches the mask off!! Small package, Cody wins!!

Winner: Cody, by pinfall

Such disrespect and dishonor, but for the American Nightmare, a win is a win. Cody and Brandi laugh at the embarrassed luchador, but will they get the last laugh in the hunt for the ROH World Championship?

 


 

My Thoughts:

This was a good episode of ROH. Not as good as other weeks, but still good. The WOH Division tag match was alright, but it could’ve been better. Perhaps while Gabby & Riley have worked together and they have chemistry, they just weren’t as familiar with Sumie and Stella. That and the fans didn’t really know whether to cheer or boo Sumie, they went back and forth at times. In the end, Sumie’s team wins because the inaugural WOH Champion should only lose in singles competition, and only to someone fitting. With Deonna Purrazzo headed back to the WWE, it seems like it’ll be between Kelly Klein or Tenille Dashwood to be the next #1 contender.

That No Holds Barred Match went as could be expected. I like this new element of Bully targeting Cary Silkin, former owner of ROH before the Sinclair purchase, and still an active producer of the show. I bet Bully will end up facing Colt Cabana at some point, with how Cabana did his best to even things out for Cheeseburger. That Coleman’s Pulpit segment to hype up the Six Man Gauntlet was so goofy, I couldn’t help but like it. There was a lot of great detail in facial expressions and close-up camera cuts, like Vinnie preparing a balloon string garrote for Coleman. SCU stake their claim, but I wonder if one of these makeshift trios will come out on top instead. And I know Cody is the star right now, especially in his own mind, but Bully and Burger would’ve made a better main event all things considered.

My Score: 8/10


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Mitchell’s Lucha Underground Report! (7/11/18)

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Lucha Underground Season 4

Lucha Underground Season 4, “Sacrificio”

The Monster, Matanza, is a demigod on a rampage, and he prepares another Sacrifice to the Gods! Is anyone on the Lucha Underground roster safe?!

 

Gifs to come courtesy of http://frentique.tumblr.com/

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Sacrifice to the Gods: Matanza Cueto VS Cortez Castro; Matanza wins, and Cortez is sacrificed.
  • Ancient Aztec Medallion match: Ivelisse VS Joey Ryan; Ivelisse wins.
  • Triple Threat Ancient Aztec Medallion match: Son of Havoc VS Killshot VS The Mack; Mack wins, he and Havoc earn medallions.
  • Ancient Aztec Medallion match: Mil Muertes w/ Catrina VS Cage; Muertes wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Cortez Castro is in the ring.

The dirty cop who was investigating Dario Cueto has been invited out by Antonio. Antonio’s sources have sniffed out that Cortez is an undercover cop. But that’s fine, because Antonio is reporting a murder. Well, not a murder, but a sacrifice!!

Sacrifice to the Gods: Matanza Cueto VS Cortez Castro!

Antonio is killing two birds with one stone, or perhaps a pig? Either way, Matanza rushes the ring in a hurry! Cortez tries to fight him off with that kendo stick, but to no avail. Matanza headbutts Cortez down, then whips for the WRATH OF THE GODS! Cover, Matanza wins!

Winner: Matanza Cueto, by pinfall

The Monster God has won, and the Believers call for “Sacrifice!” With another flash of bloody lightning, Cortez disappears! That makes two souls devoured by the Temple, how many more will be taken to satiate Matanza’s blood lust?

 

Ancient Aztec Medallion match: Ivelisse VS Joey Ryan!

The Baddest Bitch made an impact in her return when she hammered her ex, Jeremiah Crane, then shoved him in a casket. Meanwhile, The Big Sleazy just wants to spread the love. Or at least the baby oil… Who will grab hold of gold to qualify for the Gift of the Gods?

The bell rings and Joey tucks the lollipop in his pants. He knows Ivelisse wants him, but he won’t let her slap him. She still does, with the other hand. He pie faces her back, then he gives her a face full of chest hair! Ivelisse grabs that hair and throws him by it! She chops the chest hair off him, then springboards for an arm-drag. Joey staggers, but Ivelisse throws him more with headscissors. She gives him a back elbow, he gives her a SLAP! Joey climbs on and grinds her face into the mat. Fans boo and jeer, but Joey just enjoys it more. He covers, TWO. He tries again, TWO! One more time, TWO! Joey swears that’s six, because it adds up. The referee disagrees with that logic. Joey goes back to Ivelisse for a chinlock.

Fans rally up for Ivelisse, and she stands up. Ivelisse fights out with body shots, but Joey shoves her. She comes back into an Octopus! Joey breaks out but Ivelisse throws him out. Ivelisse builds speed, but runs into a SUPERKICK! Joey covers, but rather lazily, TWO! He’s shocked, but he has something up his sleeve. Or rather, in his pants. He pulls the lollipop, but Ivelisse snapmares and kicks him down! Both wrestlers slowly get up, then speed up. Ivelisse rallies and enziguris, cover, TWO! Joey gets to a corner but Ivelisse is on him with a chop and a whip. He reverses, then sleazes it up as he runs in, but into a SUPERKICK. Ivelisse runs, but into a spinebuster! Cover, TWO!

The Believers rally up, and Joey stalks Ivelisse. He goes for the chest but Ivelisse counters and kicks away. Ivelisse throws him with a German Suplex! Cover, TWO! Fans rally up again, and Ivelisse gets going. Joey catches her with a  shoulder to the stomach, then prepares a bomb. He lifts her up but she fights out. She slaps away, then scorpion kicks into the running Destroyer! Cover, Ivelisse wins!

Winner: Ivelisse, by pinfall; earns an Aztec Medallion

Finally, the Baddest joins the Gift of the Gods seven-way! Can she skyrocket to the top with a free shot at the Lucha Underground Champion?

 

Triple Threat Ancient Aztec Medallion match: Son of Havoc VS Killshot VS The Mack!

The Lucha Underground Trios Champions weren’t so sure about each other when Antonio Cueto just decided to lump the Man from the Open Road in for the MIA Dante Fox. But then they turned it around in their first defense together against Infamous Inc. Will they be able to keep things together when they’re forced to fight over such a tempting singles prize?

But wait, Antonio Cueto has been thinking about this match all night. It’s missing something. Three champions fighting for one medallion, that’s great. But he always asks himself, “Could it be greater?” Believers seem to think so. So in a brilliant flash, it came to him: it’s missing a second medallion! The only one who gets nothing is the one who gets pinned or submitted! The stakes just got raised, who will be the odd man out?

Lucha Underground returns and the match begins! And while Killshot targets Havoc, Mack doesn’t want the team to implode like this. Killshot moves him aside, but Havoc counters. Killshot slips out of the suplex and shoves Havoc into Mack’s shoulder. Mack swings a kick but Killshot ducks it. The champions stare down, but the two who have been a team longest are the ones arguing the strongest. Killshot kicks Mack and then throws him out. He goes after Havoc, then throws him to ropes. Havoc dodges and speeds up to DIVE on Mack! Killshot builds speed but handsprings out, only to run into Havoc’s boots. Havoc goes up to springboard, asai moonsault wipes out Killshot & Mack!

Fans rally for Havoc as he puts Mack in the ring. Havoc throws hands on Mack then whips him. Mack counters with an arm-drag, then runs into the corner. Havoc dodges but Mack headstands and twerks! Mack dodges Havoc to back elbow him into the corner. Havoc rolls out but Mack takes aim. Mack builds speed but Killshot moves to intercept, only to get the running enziguri! Killshot goes back out and Mack builds speed again to FLY! Mack wipes out Havoc and Killshot! Fans are fired up as Mack puts Killshot back in the ring. Killshot is dazed but he still swings on Mack. Mack blocks and SLAPS the taste out of his mouth. Mack chops Killshot sharp in the corner, then whips him to ropes. Killshot reverses and wrings the arm out, to then kick it out. He stalks Mack to a corner to then stomp that arm.

Killshot brings Mack up and chops him in return. He kicks the arm, then trips Mack up. Havoc returns but Killshot ducks under. Killshot gives him a tilt-o-whirl backbreaker. Mack hits Killshot from the apron but Killshot sweeps the legs to SUPERKICK Mack down. Fans rally for Killshot as he stalks Havoc. He slaps Havoc in the head, then says he’s not a brother in arms, he’s a nobody! Killshot slaps Havoc more, but Havoc gets fired up. Havoc hits back, and it’s a brawl of heavy forearms. They go back and forth but Havoc gets the edge. Killshot knees low, then runs, but Havoc follows. Tilt-o-whirl DDT brings Killshot down!

Mack returns slowly while the other two are still down. He stands, but Killshot and Havoc follow. Mack hits Killshot, Killshot hits Havoc, and Havoc hits Mack.

They keep going, and Mack kicks Killshot. Havoc boots Mack, then handsprings but misses. Mack POUNCES to send Havoc out! Mack whips Killshot out but Killshot bumps him back. Killshot then slings in and German suplexes, but Mack is up! But Mack runs into a Spanish Fly and dropkick! Believers know “This is Awesome!” but far from over. Havoc returns, and kicks Mack back. He climbs up, lines up the shot, an double double stomps them! Rebound cutter!

But Mack kicks Havoc to a corner. Mack runs in for a big left, then a boot wash! He keeps going, inverted cannonball! Havoc staggers up, Mack Samoan Drops and kip-ups to a moonsault! Cover, TWO!! Fans are loving Mack as he puts Havoc on the top rope. Mack slaps Havoc before climbing up to join him. Havoc resists, then fights back with body shots. He clubs away on Mack’s back, fast and furious! Havoc headbutts Mack down, then adjusts. Killshot returns to grab his beard! Killshot fireman’s carry, Death Valley on the apron! He puts Havoc in, then climbs up for the killer stomps! Mack Stunner! But who to pin!? The loser loses a medal, so he chooses Kilslhot! Mack wins!!

Winner: The Mack, by pinfall; only Killshot does not earn an Aztec Medallion

The Mack helps himself and Son of Havoc join the Gift of the Gods match, but leaves his older friend out in the cold. They’re all still Trios Champions, but it doesn’t seem like Killshot is happy with how it went down. He and the others argue it out, but Killshot slaps the medallion out of Mack’s hand. Dysfunction always seems to follow the Trios Titles, will it lead to a tag team implosion?

 

Ancient Aztec Medallion match: Mil Muertes w/ Catrina VS Cage!

The Man of 1000 Deaths and the Machine fought over the Gauntlet of the Gods last season, but both men are without that prize after King Cuerno stole it from Mil. But in the Temple, revenge always gains rewards, so perhaps this will make it up to Cage. Can the Machine overcome death in order to then pursue the Gift of the Gods and Pentagon Dark’s Lucha Underground Championship?

The two behemoths stare down, then start brawling! Cage knees low but Muertes hits back. Cage hits a jumping knee, then runs, but into a big right from Muertes. Muertes whips but Cage reverses. Muertes clubs Cage’s back but Cage clobbers him with a clothesline. Yet Muertes comes back with one of his own! Muertes whips Cage again, then pops Cage up, but to get a headscissors! Cage swings but misses, Muertes tilt-o-whirls! Then backstabber! Cage goes out of the ring, but Muertes pursues. Believers are dueling as Muertes brings Cage up to ram him into the apron. Then he throws Cage into railing. Cage gets up and SUPERKICKS Muertes! And throws Muertes into the railings. Cage throws forearm after forearm, and the Believers are rabid!

Cage grabs Catrina, but she’s not worried. Muertes rocks Cage with a right! Then Muertes bumps Cage off a chair, and puts him back in the ring. Muertes goes to bump Cage but Cage counters. Cage swing kicks, then climbs up to DEADLIFT SUPERPLEX Muertes into the ring! Cover, TWO! Cage is surprised, but not deterred. Fans duel more as Cage whips Muertes . Muertes slides to a stop to rock Cage. Cage staggers towards the ref, Muertes runs in, and SPEARS the ref!

Cage jumped out of the way, then discus clotheslines Muertes down! He covers, but no ref to count! The Believers count to about 5 before a replacement ref enters! He counts, TWO! If only he was there sooner, Cage would’ve won. Cage hears the Terminator drums, but then he suddenly clobbers that second ref!

Muertes hits the Flat Liner, covers, but a third ref is slow to appearing. TWO, and now Muertes is the one angry with authority. The referee is caught into a CHOKE SLAM! Muertes lifts Cage, Cage slips out but Muertes elbows back. Muertes goes to throw Cage but Cage throws Muertes into a post! Cage lifts Muertes in a pumphandle driver! But there’s still no referee. Muertes gets away, but fans know “This is Awesome!” Cage builds speed to FLY! The Machine wipes out Muertes, and Believers are losing their minds! Cage brings Muertes around to bump off the apron, then fireman’s carry. Muertes slips out to RAINMAKER! Or, maybe, Death Maker. Muertes brings out a chair, but Cage SUPERKICKS it into him! Cage scoop slams Muertes, then brings that chair over.

Cage soaks in the applause of the Believers, but that fan wearing the Cuerno mask takes off that mask to reveal… He’s Pentagon Dark!!

The Lucha Underground Champion is back for revenge after what Cage did to him weeks ago! CERO MIEDO!! And he attacks! The referees can’t disqualify this as Pentagon SMACKS Cage with the chair!

Pentagon puts Cage in the ring, and Muertes slithers in. Muertes stalks Cage, and SPEARS! The Reaper’s Trident sets up for the Flat Liner! Cover, count, Muertes wins!

Winner: Mil Muertes, by pinfall; earns an Aztec Medallion

With an assist to the Bone Collector, the Man of 1000 Deaths earns his spot in the Gift of the Gods title match. He asks Catrina to bless his victory with the Lick of Death, but she cannot. Seems that after gaining her mortality, she gave up her dark rituals. Muertes doesn’t understand, but he’s very upset with his femme fatale. They disappear into the shadows, for now.

Pentagon Dark speaks.

“Cage, don’t be sad because you didn’t win that medallion.” Don’t worry, because next week they will battle for the Lucha Underground Championship! Cage gets what he wants, but Pentagon tells him right now, that just like Aztec Warfare, the night will end with Pentagon still champion. And Cage, “mi amigo”, my friend, you will come out with a broken arm! Because Pentagon Dark has CERO MIEDO! Will the Machine make good on the free shot the Bone Collector is giving him? Or will he lose an arm along with the match?

 

The Rabbit Tribe has gone down the rabbit hole.

Paul London wonders, can this furniture get any smaller? Saltador finally speaks, saying he finds it “quite comfortable.” Mala Suerte seems to agree. Mascarita Sagrada finally returns. Alright, muchachos, the White Rabbit is ready to see you. Vaminos! Yes, let’s go! The tripped-out trio follow Mascarita further down the rabbit hole and…

“I have been waiting for you.” They bow before the great White Rabbit. They wish to have his guidance. Oh? In exchange for what? “Anything that you wish.” Anything, you say? Yes, anything. Then kill the man who brought you to him. Wait. Kill Mascarita? Tick tock, Mr. London! Kill Mascarita or you will not get your wish. Well okay… London raises the blunt instrument, and SPLATTERS poor Mascarita.

Bravo, Mr. London, bravo! That was very entertaining. And now, they shall see how far they’re really willing to go. What new madness has come to Lucha Underground?

 


 

My Thoughts:

A pretty good Lucha Underground episode, and all about the Aztec Medallions and Gift of the Gods. Unless I’ve lost count, I think there’s one medallion left, and we’ve got a great field of competitors already. Cuerno, Dragon Azteca, Ivelisse, The Mack, Son of Havoc, and now Mil Muertes. These six alone will put on a great match, adding just about anyone as the seventh will make it better. Ivelisse does pretty good against Joey Ryan, and she was a shoe-in between how fans love her and how Joey has been booked in LU. The twist for the triple threat was great, it really gives a great story for the Trios Champions without even needing another team to face. Though, I do expect them to put those titles on the line soon, and then lose them because Killshot quits on the team.

Muertes VS Cage was great, even before Pentagon made that surprise appearance. Pentagon giving Muertes the win is fine, as it helps bring up a new wrinkle in Catrina’s story: Muertes’ reaction. He’ll want explanations as to why Catrina didn’t do the Lick of Death, which has been a staple of their segments since the beginning. Meanwhile, Cage VS Pentagon is set and is going to be a great match. Honestly it could go either way, and creates suspense as to who the eventual Gift of the Gods Champion will be challenging. The only thing not related to Gift of the Gods was the Sacrifice. There wasn’t a whole lot of pomp and circumstance with it, but it seems this will be Lucha Underground’s way of doing squash matches. At the same time, sacrificing Cortez should trigger the story with Captain Perez, so that’ll be interesting.

My Score: 8.5/10


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