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Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Live Report! (3/6/18)

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All images courtesy of the WWE’s official Twitter.

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Randy Orton VS Jinder Mahal w/ Sunil Singh; Mahal wins.
  • Becky Lynch VS Carmella; Becky wins.
  • AJ Styles VS Dolph Ziggler; no contest.
  • Fatal 5 Way: AJ Styles VS Dolph Ziggler VS Kevin Owens VS Sami Zayn VS Baron Corbin; Zayn wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

SmackDown starts with a face-to-face.

The Queen appears in Green Bay just days away from her title defense at Fastlane, as does her wild child contender, Ruby Riott.

Charlotte and Ruby are both 2-0 in defeating the other’s allies, so the deciding win will be their 1v1 match this Sunday. Ruby starts by saying that this didn’t begin with her actions a month ago. This all started November 14th, 2017, when Charlotte became the SmackDown Women’s Champion. Charlotte’s entire life was set up for success. She’s tall, blonde, athletic, cunning, and daughter of a two-time Hall of Famer, the Nature Boy, Ric Flair. And when Charlotte became champion, she became the first woman to win NXT, Diva’s, Raw and SmackDown Women’s Championships. Ruby watched as “the myth began to form”. The myth that Charlotte was the personification of the Women’s (R)Evolution. Which is why Ruby and her Squad showed up.

The Squad exists to do one thing: destroy the myth of Charlotte. Charlotte responds by saying the only myth is that she’s been handed anything in life. She’s worked hard, or even harder, because of who she is. Charlotte has the weight of the Flair expectations on her shoulders. That’s hard to live up to. Her failures are magnified and reflect on her family. She has to not only succeed, but be transcendent. The fact Charlotte did everything Ruby said proves she is no myth. And the reality is, Charlotte is right here, every bit as good as we’ve heard. And that’s what makes it so fun for Ruby. Whether Charlotte was placed there or put herself there, she’s on a pedestal. When Ruby takes her crown, the “Queen” will crumble, and becomes another “bleach blonde failure with a famous last name.”

Charlotte gets in Ruby’s face, the Squad get in the ring. And out comes Charlotte’s GLORIOUS new friend, Bobby Roode!

The United States Champion diffuses the situation with his presence, but he does have his reasons for being out here. He joins commentary for a match between his contender and the man who was overlooked, up next!

 

Randy Orton VS Jinder Mahal w/ Sunil Singh!

The Viper wants the one title that has eluded him his entire career, but the Modern Day Maharaja wants to prove to “Bob Roode” that Orton is not worthy. Can Orton put Mahal away quickly so he can turn his focus onto the United States Champion?

The bell rings and this rematch from their days fighting over the WWE Championship begin. Mahal gets the arm lock and wrenches it to a keylock, bringing Orton to a knee. Green Bay is on Orton’s side as he powers his way out and around to a hammerlock. Mahal elbows out then puts on a headlock, but Orton powers out. Mahal runs Orton over, then gets running again. Orton jumps over then elbows Mahal down, and Mahal scrambles to ropes. They circle again but Mahal kicks low. Orton ends up in a corner and Mahal gives him stiff body shots. Mahal whips corner to corner but Orton evades, RKO narrowly avoided! The Viper grins at Mahal, as does Roode, while we go picture in picture.

Roode nods at his contender and would-be challenger, while Orton hears out the fans cheering. He welcomes Mahal back into the ring, and counters punches with punches. Orton gives Mahal a European Uppercut, then some more. He whips Mahal but Mahal reverses, Orton throws Mahal down by his hair. The Viper stomps on Mahal limb by limb, then drags Mahal up to scrape his laces on his face. Orton whips Mahal corner to corner, but Mahal shoulders his way out. Mahal stomps on Orton in a corner, then whips him corner to corner. Orton reverses, puts on a headlock, Mahal powers out but Orton elbows him back. Mahal boots Orton and brings him down! Cover, TWO! Mahal grins as he stomps Orton more.

Orton ends up by the ropes and Mahal drops knee after knee before grinding a knee into his chin. Mahal grins at Roode, too, before dragging Orton up. He snapmares then dropkicks Orton in the back, cover, TWO. Mahal keeps on that back with a knee in the spine, and a seated half-nelson chinbar. Orton endures the holds and makes his way to his feet. Mahal keeps him down while keeping on the hold, but Orton feeds off the fans’ chants of “USA! USA!” while we go single picture.

Orton fights out of the hold but Mahal kicks low. Mahal whips but Orton kicks, only for Orton to run into Mahal’s leaping knee! Cover, TWO, but Mahal grins again. He runs to drop another knee, then drives elbows and knees into Orton again. The fans keep cheering for Orton, but Mahal puts him back in the half-nelson chinbar. Orton works back to his feet and fights out again, but Mahal kicks low. Mahal swings but Orton counters into a back suplex! Orton glares down at Mahal as the two stand up. Orton rallies with clotheslines, then baits Mahal into the powerslam!

The fans fire up while Mahal gets to the apron, and Orton comes over. He drags Mahal out but Mahal escapes, only to run into a Fall Away Slam! Orton keeps on Mahal with EuroUppers, then whips. Mahal reverses but Orton reverses back into the back2back backbreaker. Mahal returns to the apron, and escapes the DDT again. He even uses Sunil as a human shield! Orton takes Sunil and gives him a big back suplex, tossing him onto the announce desk!

Mahal pounces in the distraction, and goes to throw Orton at Roode, only for Orton to turn it around, Mahal collides with Roode! They both go down, then Orton drags Mahal up and into the ring. Mahal slips away but Orton is right on him. He drags Mahal out, draping DDT!

And now Orton hears those voices in his head! The fans fire up with him as he stalks Mahal. Roode gets on the apron? He’s pissed at Orton for what happened, but then Mahal gets up! Mahal knocks Orton into Roode, then KHALLAS!! Mahal steals the win! The Maharaja’s plan to use champion and challenger against each other has paid off, will this lead to a US Championship match after Fastlane?

 

Sami Zayn meets with Kevin Owens backstage.

They’re both ready for the Six Pack Challenge. However, this is every man for himself, at least on paper. Kevin is still unsure about how Sami said he’d lie down for Kevin. Yes, Sami said that, because he meant it.

After everything they’ve been through, Kevin can’t believe it. Though, Sami is such an amazing guy. It would mean so much to Kevin and their friendship. Sami knows all that, but it’s to thank Kevin for helping him turn everything around. There will be a day when Sami becomes champion, but Kevin is one win away from fulfilling a dream. He could be a grand slam champion! Sami is so proud of Kevin, and again thanks him. They hug it out, is #Kami stronger than ever?

 

Baron Corbin speaks.

The Lone Wolf is actually grateful to see John Cena has been added to the WWE Championship match at Fastlane. Because Corbin owes Cena for the Money in the Bank contract fail. He will make Cena’s Wrestlemania dream into a nightmare, and beat Cena’s eyes shut. That way, when Corbin stands over Cena with the WWE Championship, pointing to that Wrestlemania, “You Can’t See Me!”

 

SmackDown takes a look at the greatest tag team rivalry in recent history.

That is to say, the incredible war between two of the greatest tag teams ever, The Usos and The New Day. They went back and forth for the SmackDown Tag Team Championships, leaving everyone in awe. Now they’re set for one more match at Fastlane, “This is Awesome!” There is much respect, but in the end, it’s about winning. When the New Day wins, they will go to New Orleans and Wrestlemania! But the Usos say that at the end of their war, they were the ones with the titles. They changed themselves in order to truly prove they are worthy of Wrestlemania. Nine years, zero ‘Manias. It won’t be that way this year, because this year is #OurTime!

But the New Day fired back! The New Day stepped up, getting to the top because they “rushed the field” and took what is theirs. They will rush The Usos and take those titles back to become five time tag team champions! It doesn’t matter how many times it’s been, this amazing rivalry goes for one more to see who is truly the better!

 

Backstage interview with Shinsuke Nakamura.

He knows of the Six Pack Challenge, but is he worried about not having the WWE dream (re)match of Nakamura VS Styles? “Yes, but I hope AJ wins, so that I can beat him at Wrestlemania, with a knee to…” However, Rusev & Aiden English appear. English can’t sing, because of the damage done by a “knee to throat”. This is like breaking Billy Joel’s hands. But English is not Billy Joel. Be that as it may, “you broke my friend.” Rusev wants a match at Fastlane to break Nakamura back. Challenge accepted! But when Nakamura wins, it will be NAKAMURA DAY~!

Pff, you can’t just make up holidays, bro. Will the Bulgarian Lion regret getting in the King of Strong Style’s path on the Road to Wrestlemania?

 

Becky Lynch VS Carmella!

A war of words on social media between the Lass Kicker and Ms. Money in the Bank has brought about this match. Will Becky make the Princess of Staten Island #TrendingANDTapping this close to Fastlane?

The bell rings, they circle and tie up, Becky backs Carmella down. Carmella swings things back out and knees Becky low. Carmella whips Becky to a corner but Becky goes up and out to forearm Carmella back. Becky shoulders in then climbs up but Carmella rocks her with a forearm. Carmella throws Becky with a FABULOUS Steiner, then rains left hands in a frustrated response to fans chanting for her opponent. Cover, TWO, so Carmella grinds Becky’s face in the mat. She bounces Becky off the mat before dragging her up. Becky hits back with stiff body shots and right hands, then whips Carmella into a tilt-o-whirl takedown! Carmella spins it around to put Becky in a corner, but ends up in the corner herself. Becky jump kicks but Carmella blocks to push Becky into buckles.

Carmella kicks Becky, then climbs up to put a hanging headscissors on. She lets go at 4, then drags Becky back by her hair to stretch her on the bottom rope. Carmella then brags that she’s Ms. Money in the Bank before kneeing Becky in the head! Naomi is watching her friend in this match, but Carmella covers, TWO. Carmella keeps her cool while throwing Becky out of the ring again. She embraces the heat while she drags Becky up and throws her into barriers. Carmella throws Becky again, then stomps away on her. She bumps Becky off a post, then puts her in the ring, cover, TWO. Carmella gets mad at the ref, then drives elbows into Becky before wrapping on a thrashing chinlock. The fans rally for Becky, and Becky fights out. Carmella knees low then slaps Becky, but Becky hits a leg lariat!

Both women are down and a ten count begins. Carmella gets up first and crawls over to Becky. She throws a forearm, Becky throws one back. They go back and forth but Becky gets the edge. Becky runs but Carmella evades to FABULOUS Kick Becky down! Cover, but Ropebreak! Carmella throws a tantrum, but this allows Becky to get up. Becksploder! Becky fires up but runs into another kick. Carmella wheelbarrows for the headlock takedown, but Becky slips out into the Disarm-Her! Carmella taps, Becky wins! Will this #StraightFire deter Carmella from #CashingIn at Fastlane?

 

Natalya walks in to join Naomi backstage.

According to the Queen of Harts, Becky is “lucky lucky.” Naomi says Ms. MITB tweets a big game. Well Carmella was sick, so that’s why Becky won. Naomi should stay away from Becky, because all Becky’s friends get burned. It seems Natty is jealous of Becky, seeing as Natty as no friends. Natty has friends. Name one that isn’t a cat. There’s no time for that. Natty knows Becky can’t beat “The Best There Is, the Best There Was, and the Best There Ever Will Be.” In that case, Natty and her “friend” Carmella can face Becky & Naomi at Fastlane. That’s fine, the Queen wants a warm-up before challenging the SmackDown Women’s Champion at Wrestlemania. The only thing Natty will be doing at Wrestlemania is sitting on the couch with Two Paws. Will the Glow and the Fire take care of the Queen and the Princess?

 

 

AJ Styles heads to the ring.

After hearing the fans out on their cheering, he says, “It wasn’t long ago where I only cared about one person.” But after becoming the WWE Champion for a second time, he sees things differently. Styles is the champion, “but here’s the thing.” It’s a grind to get here, which reminds him of his past, but it’s a grind to stay here. Fastlane brings on a match where Styles doesn’t need to be pinned in order to lose the title. The odds are against him once again, but he won’t cry or complain about it. He’s just gonna fight.

“This is SmackDown Live, the House that AJ Styles Built!” And sometimes, life just gets the better of you. Styles lost to John Cena, and Cena’s never at a loss for words.

We flashback to Raw last night, Cena talking about breaking the record of 16 WWE world championships, at Styles’ expense. Fastlane paves the Road to Wrestlemania, but Cena said Styles could just make his rematch at Wrestlemania. That’s not what Styles wants, and that’s not what the WWE Universe wants. Styles wants his Wrestlemania Moment by taking the most prestigious title to the Grandest Stage of Them All to defend them against the Best, and that’s Shinsuke Nakamura! Who would have ever dreamed that match could happen in the WWE? Styles isn’t’ just fighting for himself, he’s fighting for “us”. And his win at Fastlane will be Phenomenal.

However Ziggler makes his entrance to respond.

This is “for us”? What happened ot Styles? He used to be cool. SmackDown, the House that AJ Styles Built? He’s not phenomenal, he’s just desperate. Styles is desperate? From the guy who’s been here 13 years yet hasn’t reached his full potential? Says the guy that took a decade to even enter the House Dolph Ziggler Built! But let’s relax, Ziggler just wants Styles to know that at Fastlane, Styles will lose. It’s not numbers, odds, math, or any of that, it’s that Styles’ head isn’t in the right place. Styles wants to do it for the people, but Ziggler tells him about “the people”: the second you let them down, they will stab you in the back.

Ziggler has a story: he was told to his face that he’d never, ever be champion. But he always kicked down obstacles or got up from being tripped up. And somehow, Ziggler became Mr. Money in the Bank to become World Heavyweight Champion. He and the fans relished in it together, but “they didn’t deserve it.” The fans did what they always do: nothing! Ziggler proved he was “the best that ever happened to this company”, and the fact he has yet to have a 1v1 Wrestlemania match “is criminal.” Styles can say “us”, “we”, “them” but the fact is, they don’t care about your feelings. Take that dream match and shove it!

Well if that’s how Ziggler feels, let’s move this match up! Ziggler agrees, and it’s happening!

 

AJ Styles VS Dolph Ziggler!

With both men ready to fight, the Main Event happens now! The bell rings, Styles blocks the Superkick and goes for Clash but Ziggler bails out. Ziggler composes himself before returning, and he ties up with Styles. Ziggler gets the wristlock, then works into a takedown cover, ONE. Styles switches and floats to a facelock, but Ziggler gets to ropes. The break is tense but clean, and they circle again. Another tie up, waistlock for Styles but Ziggler elbows out. Ziggler throws a haymaker, then rolls Styles to a cover, TWO. They stand up, circle again, and Styles gets the waistlock to a takedown. Styles stays on Ziggler with a headlock, but Ziggler snapmares out. Ziggler dropkicks Styles down, then embraces the heat.

Ziggler brings Styles into a corner, then snapmares him back out for the elbow drop. Cover, ONE, but Ziggler stays on Styles with a chinlock. He drags Styles down, partial body scissors on. The fans rally while Styles works his way up and out of the hold. Ziggler keeps on the headlock, but Styles fights his way out. Styles whips and things speed up, Styles dropkicks Ziggler back. Ziggler gets out of the ring again, and Styles waits for him to return. Ziggler climbs up but then Styles kicks him back down. The ring count resets, and Ziggler gets up again, but Styles slingshot forearms to knock him down!

The champion has control while we go picture in picture.

Styles brings Ziggler up and into the ring, then drags Ziggler up into a corner. He kicks Ziggler right in the ribs, and Ziggler falls to the mat. Styles brings him back up, lift for the side backbreaker. Cover, TWO, but Styles keeps his cool. He stalks Ziggler to the ropes, but Ziggler hits back. Styles clubs Ziggler in the back, then brings him up in a corner for a stiff chop. Ziggler leans against the ropes, but Styles snapmares him for the running knee drop. Ziggler rolls all the way out, but Styles pursues. Styles puts Ziggler back in the ring but Ziggler pounces while we go back to single picture.

Ziggler catches his breath while Styles clutches his back on the outside. Ziggler wants the count out win, so he encourages the ref to count. Styles beats the count, but Ziggler is on him with a scrape of the laces on his face. Ziggler goes after Styles in the corner, then grinds Styles’ face on the ropes. Ziggler walks around to embrace the heat but Styles fights back with chops. Styles runs, but into a big back body drop! Cover, TWO, but Ziggler keeps calm. He grins as he watches Styles on the mat, then brings him up and into a corner. Ziggler gives Styles a forearm, then scrapes Styles’ face, but Styles hits back with a haymaker. Styles blocks to counter, then unleashes the Phenomenal Blitz! Ziggler goes down, Styles gets running, sliding forearm knocks Ziggler down again!

Ziggler crawls to a corner, Styles goes to the opposite corner and runs in, big corner clothesline. Fireman’s carry but Ziggler grabs ropes and slips out to rake the eyes. He kicks low, Famouser hits! TWO, and Ziggler grows frustrated. Styles rolls away for separation, then crawls back to meet Ziggler. Ziggler throws a haymaker, Styles throws one back. They brawl back and forth with heavy hands, but Ziggler kicks low to then forearm Styles against ropes. Styles staggers up and out to the apron, but Ziggler comes over. ZIggler drags Styles up, and goes to suplex him back in but Styles blocks. Styles tries to suplex Ziggler out but Ziggler resists. They go back and forth, but it’s Styles who brings Ziggler outside with him. Ziggler trips Styles up to catapult him into a post!

Styles goes down, we go to break.

SmackDown returns, and Ziggler stops Styles on the top rope with right hands. Ziggler drags Styles off the top to be in Clash position, bu Styles slips that around to try for a submission. Ziggler slips out so Styles SUPER– No, Ziggler blocks the kick and deflects it into ropes, to Zig-Zag! Cover, TWO! Styles survives the Show-Off’s best move, but now the match is invaded by Kevin & Sami! Sami & Kevin attack Styles and Ziggler both to throw this match out! Kevin & Sami continue to beat down Styles and Ziggler, embracing the heat from the fans.

But then Styles and Ziggler fight Kevin & Sami off! They send Sami & Kevin running, so SmackDown Commissioner, Shane McMahon, appears.

Shane O’Mac wonders if Kevin & Sami were trying to take out two opponents before Fastlane. But since they want a match so bad, get back in the ring. Green Bay probably expects a tag team match, but Shane knows this is about bringing the best. And since we’re days away from Fastlane, let’s change things up! AJ Styles VS Dolph Ziggler VS Kevin Owens VS Sami Zayn VS one more for a Fatal 5! Yes, it’s Baron Corbin!

 

Fatal 5 Way: AJ Styles VS Dolph Ziggler VS Kevin Owens VS Sami Zayn VS Baron Corbin!

This was the Fastlane WWE Championship match until John Cena won his way in. Who will win this what-could-have-been just days before the real deal?

We come into this match while it’s under way, and Sami throws Styles into barriers. Ziggler is also on the outside while Corbin throws Kevin into barriers, too. Corbin then goes after Sami to put him into barriers. Ziggler and Kevin crawl back to the ring while Corbin puts Sami in. Styles is not far behind while Corbin enters the ring to go after Sami more. Corbin unloads right hands, and even hits Styles. Kevin goes after Corbin but Corbin backs him down with elbows. Corbin goes after Ziggler with a stiff right, then another. He goes after STyels with a corner to corner whip, bouncing Stylse off the post, then throws him across the way! Corbin runs at Ziggler but Ziggler dumps him out, for Sami and Kevin to pounce on! Kevin & Sami throw Corbin into steel steps, working together as always.

Sami & Kevin go after Styles and Ziggler in the ring again, because “This is MY Show”, according to Kevin. Sami whips Ziggler and runs him over, then Kevin drops the back senton. Kevin covers, TWO. Kevin grinds his forearm into Ziggler while Sami keeps Corbin out and Styles down. Sami drags Styles up while Kevin stomps Ziggler, then wrecks Corbin with another dropkick. Kevin goes after Styles again, then Sami drags Styles up. They double whip Styles, drop toehold to a back senton on Styles’ back.

Cover, TWO, but #Kami keeps control. Sami grinds Ziggler while Kevin grinds Styles, and Corbin is still on the outside while they hug.  Kevin kicks Corbin down again, then Sami drags Corbin back up. Corbin shoves Sami away then knocks Kevin, Corbin returns to boot Sami. SUPERKICK from Kevin, Famouser from Ziggler! Helluva Kick from Sami, but Styles Pele kicks Sami! Everyone is down while we go to break.

SmackDown returns once more, and Sami fights against Styles on the top rope. Ziggler comes over to add on, but Sami still holds on. Corbin and Kevin come over now, and we have a full Five-Man Tower of Doom!

Double powerbombs and double superplex! Everyone is down, with Styles and Kevin spilling out of the ring. Corbin slowly stands up with Sami and Ziggler in opposite corners. Corbin runs and clotheslines Ziggler, than clotheslines Sami. Ziggler dodges, stinger splash to Sami and one to Corbin. Sami evades but runs into Corbin’s boot! Ziggler runs out but Sami feeds him into Corbin and those two collide. Blue Thunder Bomb! But Styles breaks the cover! Sami throws Styles out then returns to Ziggler.

Kevin returns but Ziggler throws Sami out. Kevin German Suplexes Ziggler! He takes aim from the corner but Corbin runs in, Kevin evades to send him into the post! Then Kevin hits the cannonball on Ziggler, and Vader Bomb elbows Corbin! Cover, but Styles breaks that up, too! Kevin goes after Styles, throwing him out, but Ziggler hits Kevin with the satellite DDT! Corbin goes after Ziggler, back suplex but Ziggler escapes to ZIG-ZAG! Sami returns, chop and acrobatic moves, but Ziggler avoids the DDT to SUPERKICK Sami down! Cover, but Styles breaks this for a hat trick! Corbin returns and goes after Styles, then throws him out. Styles stays on the apron, shoulders back in, and slingshots, but into a stiff right hand!

Sami dodges Corbin, who slides out and in for a lariat! Corbin blocks the Superkick to hit Ziggler with the Choke Slam Backbreaker, then goes after Kevin. Kevin boots him back, but runs into DEEP SIX! Cover, but Styles breaks this for four! Everyone is down from exhaustion and soreness.

Styles sits up first while the fans cheer. Corbin gets up, too, and goes after Styles, but Styles enziguris and clotheslines him out. Ziggler tries but is denied, Styles heel kicks him down. Styles boots Sami away, then moonsault DDT’s him down! Styles rolls out to the apron and takes aim, but has to sliding knee Corbin down. Ziggler runs over but is thrown out, #Kami get Styles! HELLUVA KICK on Kevin?! Sami wins?! Was this Sami’s plan all along?! Are there truly no friends when it comes to the WWE Championship?

When Kevin comes to, he’s just a shocked.

Interview on stage with Sami Zayn.

After everything Sami promised his “best friend”, why? Why? How about Sami is the best WWE has? Or the fact that Sami has been without a doubt, the most overlooked superstar? Why is she asking dumb questions? This may not have been about the title tonight, but this was about the best, and that’s SAMI ZAYN! Will he prove this all over again when the gold is on the line?

 

My Thoughts:

What a truly strange episode of SmackDown, even for a go-home. The night starts with the Women’s Championship face-to-face encounter, and both women do well with their promos to frame this match’s story. However, the segment doesn’t really resolve itself given the strange segue into the next segment. Roode appearing makes sense because he is both Charlotte’s Mixed Match Challenge partner and because he wants to watch his challenger up close. Orton VS Mahal was alright, nothing too different from their multiple matches before this. The usual “this guy throws that guy into the other guy” was a nice touch, it finally gets Roode and Orton going after each other, and perhaps gives Mahal his way into the US Championship scene on the home stretch to ‘Mania. In which case, I hope Roode retains to keep match-ups fresh.

Nice to hear we’re getting Rusev VS Nakamura even if it’s just to tide them both over, they can have a really good match. Keeping the Tag Team Division off helps give time to everything else, such as Becky VS Carmella 1v1 and set-up for a Woman’s Tag Team Match at Fastlane. Keeping Carmella busy on the Fastlane card could be both a way to stop a MITB cash-in or a smokescreen so we won’t expect it.

The promos before the “moved up” main event were only alright, but were still good with how Styles and Ziggler work-shoot on each other. They have a great 15 minutes before things are “ruined”, and then we get an honestly amazing Fatal 5. It seems odd that we’d get what is 90% of the Fastlane match for free, but it was still great action from everyone involved, especially Corbin for the stretch near the end. And then that swerve ending was great, because it really seemed like Sami meant it when he said he’d just lie down for Kevin. Sami may have just out-Heeled Kevin, and could easily become the superior Heel in this long and winding story SmackDown has been giving us. Assuming Sami & Kevin don’t win the title, I could see a great grudge match between them at ‘Mania as the blow-off to all of it.

My Score: 8/10


Let us know what you think on social media @theCHAIRSHOTcom and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
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Coverage

Mitchell’s WWE Monday Night Raw Results & Report! (3/25/19)

Kurt Angle’s Farewell Tour leads him to who!?

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WWE Raw Cover image

Raw grows wilder as Mania draws nearer! Will Ronda Rousey face any consequences? Will Roman Reigns accept Drew McIntyre’s challenge? Angle VS SAMOA JOE?!

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Beat the Clock Challenge: Ronda Rousey VS Sarah Logan; Rousey wins in 1:25.
  • Beat the Clock Challenge: Charlotte Flair VS Ruby Riott; Flair fails the Beat the Clock Challenge.
  • Beat the Clock Challenge: Becky Lynch VS Liv Morgan; Lynch wins in 1:18, and wins the challenge.
  • WWE Intercontinental Championship Contender’s Handicap Match: Bobby Lashley & Lio Rush VS Finn Balor; changed to…
  • WWE Intercontinental Championship Contender’s Handicap Match: Bobby Lashley w/ Lio Rush & Jinder Mahal w/ The Singh Brothers; Finn wins and will challenge Bobby Lashley for the title at Wrestlemania.
  • Aleister Black & Ricochet VS The Revival; Black & Ricochet win.
  • Sasha Banks w/ Bayley VS Natalya w/ Beth Phoenix; Banks wins, by disqualification.
  • Baron Corbin VS Apollo Crews; Corbin wins.
  • Kurt Angle VS Samoa Joe; Angle wins.
  • Last Man Standing: Drew McIntyre VS Dean Ambrose; McIntyre wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Beat the Clock Challenge: Ronda Rousey VS Sarah Logan!

The Raw Women’s Champion and her two Wrestlemania opponents will main event Wrestlemania! But that’s in a couple weeks. Tonight, there’s a lot of pride on the line as the Baddest Woman on the Planet divides up the Riott Squad with The Queen and The Man! Who will be the fastest winner on Raw to have bragging rights going into New York?

Before the match, Ronda picks up the mic. Boston wants Becky but they’ll have to hear the champ out first. “For the first time ever, women are going to be the main event at Wrestlemania!” The Raw Women’s Championship, Rousey VS Flair VS Lynch! And Ronda only has one thing left to say: “You’re welcome.” She throws down the mic, but then picks it back up to say something else. Not that the fans appreciate any of her words. Ronda vows to make Charlotte and Becky tap out at the same time! But just as she drops the mic, she picks it up again. She has no idea what this Beat the Clock Challenge is, it sound stupid, so let’s just get this farce over with. Now she’s done talking. Sarah Logan makes her way out and the challenge truly begins!

But wait! The Man makes sure to come out and say something herself! “It’s good to be back in Boston!” And Ronnie, stop being so weird. Ronda came here with her big money contract and the whole world yawned. Every opportunity, every advantage, the best of the best, and yet no one gave a damn until The Man came around! The fans know that the best thing to happen to Ronda is Becky! That’s why they’re the main event of Mania! And one more thing, Ronda knows how this ends: Ronda’s title above Becky’s head, and her own head beneath Becky’s boot.

But here comes The Queen, too! Charlotte has her own mic and just hears “Blah blah blah”. Yes, the women are the main event! But not because of Becky nor because of Ronda. It’s all because of what Charlotte’s done! That’s why she was handpicked to be the main event! Charlotte and Becky stand-by ringside while Ronda finally gets to her Beat the Clock Challenge with Sarah.

The bell rings and the timer starts counting while Sarah bails out! Ronda gives chase and Sarah keeps away from Ronda. Ruby and Liv try to block Ronda’s path but Ronda blasts through them. Sarah turns around and dropkicks Ronda down! Then she whips Ronda hard into ropes! Ronda clutches her arm while Sarah stomps away. Sarah grabs the legs and ties them up for an inverted cloverleaf! Ronda endures the leg hold as Sarah drags her away from the ropes! Ronda grits her teeth and sees the clock climb as she claws her way back. She gets the ropes but then climbs up and around  to drag Sarah into a hanging armbar! She lets go at 4 but goes after Sarah with a SUPERWOMAN PUNCH! Ronda puts on the armbar and Sarah taps! Ronda wins!

Winner: Ronda Rousey, by submission, and in 1:25

The time has been set, will either Queen or Man be able to do better than the Baddest Woman on the Planet?

Charlotte steps into the ring and takes her turn.

Beat the Clock Challenge: Charlotte Flair VS Ruby Riott!

The bell rings and the time ticks down. Charlotte goes fast but Ruby dodges and dumps her out! Charlotte hurries back in and boots Ruby down. She CHOPS and CHOPS on Ruby, then gets a takedown. Ruby pushes Charlotte away and we hit the minute warning. Ruby kicks Charlotte on her return, then wrenches. Charlotte decks Ruby with a right! Then hits the backbreaker to STO! Charlotte has to hurry, but Ruby dodges Natural Selection! Ruby gets a complete shot! Cover, TWO!! Ruby just has to play defense with 20 seconds left. She grabs Charlotte’s arm and toys with her. Riott Kick, CAUGHT! Figure Four on, Figure Eight! Ruby holds on, time runs out!!

Charlotte fails the Beat the Clock Challenge

Ronda knew Charlotte wouldn’t, but now Becky wants her shot.

Beat the Clock Challenge: Becky Lynch VS Liv Morgan!

The Man is ready but the Juvenile Delinquent distracts her, and Charlotte BOOTS Becky in that distraction! The Queen takes her frustrations out on her, and then lets Liv do what she wants. Liv shouts for the bell and it rings. Liv fires off a mudhole stomp on Becky but backs off at 4 with shrill shrikes. She stomps Becky right back down then drags her to a cover, TWO! The Squad keeps Liv focused as she thrashes Becky around in a chinlock. Becky endures as we reach less than a minute. Boston rallies and Becky fights her way up. Becky arm-drags out then throws haymakers and European Uppercuts! Things speed up as Becky rallies! Calf kick at 30 seconds but Becky keeps going.

Becky wants the arm but Liv school boys Becky into buckles! Liv gets away with 15 seconds, but her code breaker is blocked! Jackknife cover, Becky wins!!

Winner: Becky Lynch, by pinfall

And with seven seconds to spare! Ronda doesn’t care, because what does this matter in a Triple Threat? But Becky still feels good that she did better than both Ronnie and Charlie. Will she feel great when she beats them both for the title?

 

WWE Intercontinental Championship Contender’s Handicap Match: Bobby Lashley & Lio Rush VS Finn Balor!

The Extraordinary Man managed to beat both the Almighty and the Man of the Hour in a situation like this before, but now he has to do it again to earn a title match at Wrestlemania. Lashley & Lio come out and Lio tells Finn’s Road to Wrestlemania goes through them. This is not a road Finn wants to be on. Finn could’ve quit while he’s ahead, but now he’ll be forced to leave the game as a hot piece of garbage, just like Gronkowski. Boston takes offense to that. But as much as Lio wants to be part of ending Finn’s dreams, it’s Braun Strowman’s fault that he’s not medically cleared to compete. But that’s okay, Lashley has a different tag team partner now: Jinder Mahal!

WWE Intercontinental Championship Contender’s Handicap Match: Bobby Lashley w/ Lio Rush & Jinder Mahal w/ The Singh Brothers!

The Modern Day Maharaja joins forces with the Rocky Mountain Machine! Will they leave Finn for dead on the side of the Road to Wrestlemania?

The bell rings and Lashley starts. Fans fire up for Finn as he ties up with Lashley. Lashley knees low then throws Finn to his corner. Lashley throws body shots then puts Finn in another corner for more body shots. He whips Finn corner to corner hard, but Finn dodges! Finn shoulders in but has to fight off Mahal and the Singh Brothers! Lio distracts and Lashley blasts Finn down! The deck is stacked for Finn as we go to break.

Raw returns and Finn fires forearms on Lashley. But Lashley shoves Finn back and tackles him into the corner! Lashley rams his shoulder in on Finn again and again but backs off at 4. Lashley goes corner to corner but Finn Slingblades him down! Mahal tags in and whips Finn. Finn reverses, Mahal sunset flips but Finn rolls through to dropkick Mahal down! Finn dodges Mahal and forearms Mahal into Lashley! Then he gets Mahal with the elbow drop DDT! Lashley returns but gets a takedown and double stomps! Finn clotheslines Mahal out! Finn builds speed but the Singhs swipe his feet! Mahal returns but Finn sends him out, to FLY! He hits EVERYONE! Finn puts Mahal in fast, then climbs up top! COUP DE GRACE!! Cover, Finn wins!

Winner: Finn Balor, by pinfall; NEW #1 Contender to the WWE Intercontinental Championship

He’s going to Wrestlemania! Lashley again loses because of who he teams with, but now it’ll be Finn and Lashley 1v1.  Lashley takes his anger out on the Singhs, then SPEARS Mahal! Will Finn finally get the better of Bobby directly? Or will he get dominated by the Dominator on the Grandest Stage of Them All?

 

Ladies and Gentlemen: Elias.

The Drifter is already in New York, Times Square even. There have been many iconic stars performing on Broadway, but Elias will be bigger than them all! Times Square is buzzing to walk with Elias. Elias has gotten used to this, so he’ll play something for us. Wait, this other bearded guitarist wants in. Elias is a solo act. But typical New Yorkers: big ego, little talent. Go sell out a subway station, Elias has Mania to focus on. Will Elias really be the hit he thinks he is?

 

Aleister Black & Ricochet VS The Revival!

The Embodiment of the End and the King of Flight look to take over Tag Team wrestling in the WWE from NXT to the main roster. The Dusty Rhodes Classic isn’t quite over, but can this unexpected duo stake a claim for the Raw Tag Team Championships in time for Wrestlemania?

Forget the bell, it’s time to brawl! The moment Dash & Dawson hit the ring, Aleister & Ricochet start hitting them! Dash & Dawson turn things around and whip Aleister and Ricochet at each other, but Aleister gives Ricochet a boost to missile dropkick Dawson down! Aleister then throws forearms and kicks on Dash. Ricochet adds an enziguri and Dash cowers in his corner. Fans chant for “NXT! NXT!” as Aleister dares Dash to bring the fight. The bell rings and Dawson anchors Aleister’s feet! Dash fires off then tags in Dawson. The Revival mug Aleister then put him in an open corner. Dawson throws uppercuts then drags Aleister out for a hammerlock. Dawson brings Aleister to the mat but Aleister endures.

Fans rally as Aleister works his way up. Aleister powers his way towards his corner but Dawson throws body shots and forearms. Aleister roundhouses Dawson down then tags in Ricochet! The unexpected duo double whip then leap frog with Dawson, before Aleister sweeps the legs and Ricochet adds a basement dropkick! Dash runs in but is sent right back out! Aleister fakes The Revival out, but Ricochet gets them around the corner! Dash goes down but Dawson gets a Meteora! The #TopGuys are down on the ground while we go to break.

Raw returns and Dawson grinds his forearm in Ricochet’s face. Fans rally as Ricochet endures the seated abdominal stretch, then stands up and heads for his corner. Aleister reaches out to him but Dawson scoop slams Ricochet down. Dawson drops but misses the elbow, and again! Dash tags in as Ricochet rolls to the apron. Ricochet shoulders in then slingshots, but into Dash’s arms! Dash and Dawson combine for an assisted brain buster! Cover, TWO! Ricochet survives and The Revival grows frustrated. Dash drags Ricochet over but Ricochet throws forearms. Dash knees low then Dawson tags back in. Dawson stomps and toys with Ricochet, then whips. Ricochet kicks Dawson down, but Dash tags in. Dash runs over but Ricochet dodges to get him with a neckbreaker!

Ricochet and Dash are down but crawling for their corners. Dash tags Dawson, Ricochet tags Aleister! Aleister rallies on The Revival! Aleister sweeps the legs to drive in the knee! Dash returns, but The Revival get a double quebrada! Aleister throws Dash out then goes after Dawson. Dawson punches but gets a strike fest! Another swift knee, cover, TWO! Aleister keeps his focus as he stalks Dawson. He lifts Dawson with his foot but Dash drags Ricochet off the apron! Aleister goes after Dash but Dawson sunset flips! TWO, and both men dodge. Dawson fakes Aleister out for a DDT! Cover, but Ricochet breaks it! Dash shoves Aleister out and The Revival double whips. Ricochet tags in and Aleister goes up and over. Aleister hits a DOUBLE Black Mass?! Ricochet hits his 630! Cover, Ricochet & Aleister win!

Winners: Aleister Black & Ricochet, Ricochet pinning

The Revival miscalculate and now NXT’s air strike has another victory! But The Revival are quick to point out they’re still the champions. Will the #TopGuys have to put those titles on the line at Wrestlemania against the Dutch Destroyer and the One and Only?

 

Drew McIntyre is here!

The Scottish Terminator vows to destroy The Shield one by one! He made his challenge to Roman Reigns last week, will he get his answer? We find out, after the break.

Raw returns and McIntyre has a mic. “I don’t give a damn if you like me, but you will respect me.” McIntyre says a week is a long time to wait for an answer. He’s actually a little nervous, and Roman might still be unsure what to say. So McIntyre will share some footage, and wants us to know that he could’ve finished Roman any time but didn’t. The footage is as expected, McIntyre attacking Roman Reigns from out of nowhere and kicking his head into a post. Then last week, McIntyre challenged Roman to a match but actually wants Roman to say “No” because of how badly McIntyre will beat him at Wrestlemania.

Now in the present, McIntyre really hopes Roman’s family members got through his thick skull to say no. McIntyre “exterminated” the roach, Dean Ambrose. And then last week, McIntyre beat the #1 Contender, Seth Rollins! McIntyre is sure what the superstar, Roman Reigns, wants and that is “Yes”! But McIntyre appeals to Joe Anoa’i, the man, husband and father. Hasn’t his family been through enough? “Think of your children!” They already watched Daddy fight for his life once. Do they really have to go through that again at Wrestlemania when they know it’s a losing battle? Fans chant for Roman, and McIntyre says he’ll wait all night if he has to. But Roman Reigns appears now!

Roman goes to the ring and grabs himself a mic. Roman and McIntyre stare down, and Roman says he accepts the challenge. But listen very closely to what Joe has to say. “Don’t you ever run your mouth about my wife and kids.” Roman fires off haymakers! He gets McIntyre down and then throws him into a post! McIntyre tumbles out but Roman’s still on him with big uppercuts. Roman throws him into barriers, then back into the ring. Fans are fired up as Roman walks over, but McIntyre low blow uppercuts Roman back! McIntyre drags himself to a corner while Roman gasps and sputters. McIntyre aims with a glare as Roman stands. CLAYMORE! Referees appear and get McIntyre to leave, but the damage is done. Will Roman get his revenge at Wrestlemania?

 

Drew McIntyre spots Dean Ambrose backstage.

“What did you call me out there? A cockroach?” McIntyre “exterminated” him? Doesn’t feel that way. So how about another try tonight? Ambrose VS McIntyre, Last Man Standing!! McIntyre does not know how Ambrose is standing now. But he promises Ambrose won’t be standing after tonight. Is Ambrose trying to get himself killed?!

 

Sasha Banks w/ Bayley VS Natalya w/ Beth Phoenix!

This match didn’t quite finish last week since Nia Jax & Tamina interfered. But now The Boss of Boston and the Queen of Harts will have it out! Can Natty punch a Wrestlemania title match ticket for the Divas of Doom?

The bell rings and Sasha and Natty tie up. Natty puts Sasha on the ropes but backs off to slap her! Sasha slaps back! Then goes acrobatic for an arm-drag! Sasha blocks and arm-drags Natty again, then grins as she circles with Natty again. Natty blocks a kick and throws Sasha down, to then hook the legs for a Surfboard! Natty holds Sasha high overhead, but Sasha endures as Boston cheers her on. Sasha slips free and rolls out, then hits a basement meteora! Cover, TWO! Sasha keeps her cool while she drags Natty up. Natty rolls Sasha up, TWO! Natty brings Sasha up but Sasha sunset flips, only for Natty to block to the Sharpshooter! Sasha fights out and shoves Natty all the way out!

Beth keeps Bayley at bay while Sasha fetches Natty. Natty throws hands, then throws Sasha at the apron. Sasha spins around and headscissors Natty down! Then a knee into the barriers! Sasha leaves Natty behind while we go to break.

Raw returns and Natty has Sasha in a Canadian torture rack. Sasha endures as Bayley and Boston rally for her. Natty keeps up the pressure but Sasha slips out to a sunset flip! Cover, TWO, but Sasha blocks a kick to give a kick! Sasha runs and wheelbarrows, but Natty sits Sasha down! Natty then walks over Sasha, but gets tripped! Sasha gets the Bank Statement crossface! Natty reaches, crawls, but rolls Sasha away to a Sharpshooter!! Sasha endures now, reaches for the ropes, but Natty drags her away! Sasha finds a second wind and rolls Natty into a corner! Bayley and Boston are relieved, but the Samoan Dynasty attacks again! They get Bayley, then rush the ring! SUPERKICK for Sasha!

Winner: Sasha Banks, by disqualification

The Glamazon rushes the ring to tackle Tamina! And she throws hands on Nia! Fireman’s carry, but Tamina saves Nia. Beth still fights and runs Nia over! She deflects the Superkick to fire off on Tamina! She gets the chicken wings, for the Glam Slam! Natty regroups with Beth and they hold the ring! Fans let Beth know “You Still Got It!” Not only that, but Beth still wants it! She wants tag title gold with her fellow Diva of Doom! Will the Boss & Hug Connection have legendary opponents for Wrestlemania? And what of the Samoan Dynasty? Or the IIconics?

 

The WWE reveals the newest Hall of Fame inductees: The Hart Foundation!

Bret Hart and Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart were the Best There Is, Best There Was, and the Best There Ever Will Be in tag team wrestling. It means so much to the Hart Family, especially Natalya, that The Anvil is finally going in!

 

Backstage interview with Kurt Angle!

The Olympic Gold Medalist continues the Farewell Tour against Samoa Joe! Why such a tough challenge this close to Wrestlemania? Angle appreciates Joe for coming over from SmackDown for the night. And this tour is about retiring on his terms. Angle promises to be ready for Baron Corbin, and Joe will be his greatest test yet. But Corbin comes over and chuckles. Corbin appreciates watching this farewell tour. How many years has Angle been around? How old is he? Does he realize the fans are cheering not because he’s a great competitor, but because they feel sorry for him? Considering he’s half the man he used to be. Corbin promises the news after Mania will be “Former Gold Medalist tarnishes his career”. Angle simply tells Corbin, “Screw you.” Will Angle show Corbin he’s still good enough when going against the United States Champion?

 

Backstage interview with The Boss & Hug connection.

Clearly the Women’s Tag Team division is heating up. Nia and Tamina keep attacking, The IIconics won last week, and- Sasha says they vowed to take on anyone, anywhere, anytime! So how about all three teams at Wrestlemania?! A Fatal 4 Way!? Are the inaugural champions going to become former champions in New York?

 

It’s time for another Moment of Bliss!

The Goddess doesn’t sit on stage, she heads right for the ring. Will she be able to reconcile the Monster Among Men and Saturday Night Live’s Colin Jost?

Raw returns as Alexa sits on her set in the ring. “Welcome to A Moment of Bliss.” Alexa isn’t sure what it is, but since becoming the host, the Wrestlemania card gets better and better. The women are main eventing now! Is she good or what? But Alexa is at a crossroads, because with two weeks left, she feels like her moment and her reputation are in jeopardy. She shares footage of when Colin Jost put his foot in his mouth when he mouthed off to Strowman. Strowman put his hands around Colin’s throat and almost choked the man out. Then when Colin tried to apologize with a car, Strowman ripped the car apart! “That looks like a recipe for a public relations disaster.” So Alexa hopes this becomes A Moment of Healing. First, The Monster Among Men himself, BRAUN!

Strowman storms out to the ring and shakes hands with Alexa before taking a seat. Alexa welcomes Strowman and knows what happens when Strowman’s temper gets the best of him. Strowman’s flipped an ambulance with Roman Reigns inside, yanked down the stage on top of Brock Lesnar, and utterly destroyed one of Vince McMahon’s limousines. “Sure did.” Then what would happen if Michael Che and Colin Jost were to #GetThoseHands? The saying goes, “It’s the thought that counts.” Jost got him that tiny little convertible, Strowman thought about smashing Jost’s face in. Thank you for sharing your feelings, because that is the first step in the healing process. The next is listening, because via satellite, Michael and Colin!

Michael and Colin say hi, and Colin tries to compliment Strowman. Colin admits he made a mistake in Philly. He won’t put on a Mets hat, he’ll put on a Yankees hat. Boston hates that. Michael says that as a lifelong fan of the WWE, and even of Strowman, Michael respects Strowman. But Strowman also responded badly when he went after Colin. Colin may not be funny, but he’s a good guy. Colin wants to be a mentor, sincerely. He went to Harvard. His parents paid millions of dollars to get him on the Women’s Cross Country Team. Wait… Well, anyway, Colin can definitely teach Strowman how to eat, or how to read, or how to do his taxes.

And Colin knows Strowman is big and strong at 5’11” and 180 pounds, but they can talk this out. Michael says this isn’t how to do it. Colin sent him a car! Strowman, consider therapy! Or at least pay Colin back, with interest, and get him an autograph from Brock Lesnar. Or maybe they won’t go to Wrestlemania! Fans don’t care but Alexa can’t let that happen. Strowman has an idea. Michael said someone needs to take care of this, one way or another. Strowman goes with “option number three.” If Colin wants to make this right, he’ll get in the Andre the Giant Battle Royal! No way! He’s not- Listen up, smart guy! Get in the battle royal or Strowman will find you when you’re all alone! Michael accepts for Colin! WHAT?!

Listen, there’s a chance Colin will get hurt in the Battle Royal, but he will DEFINITELY be dead if this happens backstage. Michael promises Colin will be in that match and Michael will correspond alone. Colin says Michael’s the real WWE fan so he’s in, too! Colin starts a chant, but Strowman tells him to shut up. Can Alexa make this happen? As the host of Wrestlemania, she can’t do this for Strowman’s blood-lust. Michael breathes a sigh of relief, but Alexa was just kidding. This is happening! And if Michael and Colin no-show, they’ll be wondering for the rest of their lives when they’ll #GetTheseHands!

 

Elias is still in New York.

The Drifter has made his way to Madison Square Garden, “the world’s most famous arena.” Now it’s not Boston’s Garden, because that houses a bunch of slobs. Elias has sold this place out three times already, more than Billy Joel ever cold. Elias is given change? Does this city have no idea who he is?!

 

Baron Corbin VS Apollo Crews!

“Boston’s Favorite Son” is apparently anything but that, as he has every other accolade of his listed. But will he at least redeem himself from last week’s quick defeat?

Raw returns and Apollo rolls Corbin up! TWO, but Apollo mule kicks and sunset flips. TWO, and now Apollo crucifix, TWO! Apollo dropkicks Corbin to a corner then baits Corbin in. Corbin slides out then in but into a dropkick! Corbin staggers and Apollo clotheslines him out! Apollo hits the moonsault off the apron, then runs back in, only for Corbin to toss him into the post! Corbin refreshes the count to drag Apollo up and throw him into barriers. He puts Apollo back in the ring then shoves him into buckles. Corbin lifts and tosses Apollo down! Cover, TWO! Corbin argues with the ref, but then points to the Wrestlemania sign to taunt fans that he’s still going, whether we like it or not.

Corbin drags Apollo up but Apollo clotheslines him back! Apollo baits Corbin into the corner again, then enziguris him down! Apollo climbs and leaps, frog splash! Cover, TWO!! Corbin survives and gets to a corner. He puts Apollo on the apron but Apollo shoulders in. Apollo slingshots and runs, but into End of Days! Cover, Corbin wins!

Winner: Baron Corbin, by pinfall

The Lone Wolf has redeemed himself, but this is far from satisfactory. He drags Apollo up for another End of Days! Corbin grins and applauds, but will he be feeling good after facing Kurt Angle at Mania?

 

Seth Rollins is here!

The Architect, Mr. Royal Rumble 2019, goes to the ring and grabs a mic. Boston is ready to “Slay The Beast!” so Rollins cuts to the chase. Brock Lesnar and Seth Rollins are not cut from the same cloth. The two roads that meet at Wrestlemania could not be any different. But there is only one road out, and it will be forged with the Universal Championship and by the man who will define the WWE’s future. It will either be Rollins or Lesnar, “and that’s really heavy.” But Rollins wants to carry that burden! Rollins wants to be a champion who inspires people. The champions who inspired Rollins were Shawn Michaels, Bret Hart, Ric Flair, Triple H, and even John Cena. But Brock Lesnar does not inspire people.

It goes without saying that this will be Rollins’ biggest match yet. Rollins has wanted it for a long time, but until recently, he didn’t realize how much it means to the fans. Rollins did a meet ‘n’ greet and everyone who came up to him, regardless of who they were, they all said the same thing. Fans chant “Burn It Down!” and “Slay The Beast!” and Rollins says it was something like that. “Please beat Lesnar at Wrestlemania.” Rollins promised he’ll do everything he can to stop Lesnar, but now he has no choice. He MUST beat Brock Lesnar! Rollins refuses to let Lesnar be the champion that defines this company! In 13 days, Rollins will stand up to the bully that is The Beast.

And what Lesnar doesn’t understand is that with an army behind Rollins, he WILL be unstoppable! Together, they will march to Suplex City and #BURN IT- “Ladies and Gentlemen!” The Advocate, Paul Heyman, is here in Boston to say, “Thank you.” Heyman thanks Rollins for letting him know that the match is now a “Handicap Match”. It’ll be the reigning, defending, undisputed Universal Heavyweight Champion, BROCK LESNAR VS Seth Rollins & The WWE Universe. Heyman likes Lesnar’s odds, because Rollins’ chances of winning are zero. “Do you know how pathetic you sound, Seth?” Rollins needs the fans’ love, support and affirmation? Or perhaps their thoughts and prayers? Heyman mocks other requests for thoughts and prayers, but especially Rollins needing help not being beaten and victimized by Lesnar.

Heyman says Rollins needs those thoughts and prayers, because Rollins doesn’t have a thought on how to defeat Lesnar, nor a prayer in doing so. This isn’t personal, but when Lesnar does win, Rollins needs to take it personally when he and the WWE Universe fail at Wrestlemania. Heyman tosses the mic but Rollins chases him up the ramp! Rollins scares Heyman and Heyman suddenly says he’s just saying this because Lesnar wanted him to. Rollins laughs. This isn’t about getting thoughts and prayers, this is about answering them. “We are going to Wrestlemania! We are going to beat Brock Lesnar!” And WE are going to BURN IT DOWN!! Rollins carries the banner for the fans, but will he plant the flag in Suplex City’s ashes?

Kurt Angle makes his way out, and the “You Suck!” turns to Heyman. The Olympic Gold Medalist brings the Farewell Tour to Boston, but will it continue to be successful on the Road to Wrestlemania?

 

Kurt Angle VS Samoa Joe!

Angle and the Samoan Submission Machine have met before, but they’ll have their first and last match in the WWE in Boston! Will Angle win over the WWE United States Championship? Or will Joe tuck Angle in and make him go to sleep before ever making it to Wrestlemania?

Raw returns as Samoa Joe makes his entrance. Joe has a mic and asks Angle to forgive him. He forgot his bouquet of flowers to give to him. And though Joe knows the “scumbag New England mouth-breathers want it”, it’ll be a cold day into Hell before Angle can just ride off into the sunset. This is Wrestlemania Season, and stars around the world are getting ready for the big night. For Angle’s last night in Boston, Joe has a special gift. A good night’s sleep is very important, and Joe couldn’t think of a better way to say good-bye than putting Angle out once and for all. The bell rings and this very tense good-bye match begins!

Joe and Angle stare down, and then Joe headbutts Angle down! Joe stomps away on Angle, then stands him up for those swift jabs! Angle counter punches but Joe rakes his eyes! Joe brings Angle out and snap suplexes, but barely gets Angle over. Angle gets to a corner but Joe throws more hands. Fans rally behind Angle and he gets a waistlock on Joe! Joe elbows him off and snapmares him for stomps! Joe dropkicks Angle in the back, but Angle comes back with haymakers. Angle gets Joe on the ropes but Joe dumps Angle out, to DIVE! Joe bulldozes Angle into barriers and we go to break.

Raw returns and Angle fights his way out of Joe’s sleeper hold. Angle runs but Joe runs him over! Joe taunts Angle as he sits up. Joe puts him in the corner and trash talks before throwing more hands and CHOPS! Angle staggers away and Joe headbutts. Joe throws more jabs then brings Angle out for forearms. Joe runs but Angle ducks to German Suplex! Angle holds on for a second German Suplex! And then the hat trick! Cover, TWO! Angle gets back up and stalks Joe, but Joe fights out of the Angle Slam. Angle kicks but runs into an atomic drop. Joe boots and back sentons! Cover, TWO!! Angle lives and Joe is livid, but Joe keeps his eyes on Angle as he gets to a corner. Angle dodges Joe in the corner, ANGLE SLAM! Cover, TWO!! Joe survives and Angle can’t believe it.

Angle fires up and goes for the ankle! Joe pushes him away, then gets up, to catch Angle for a powerslam! Cover, TWO!! Angle barely escapes but Joe keeps his focus. Joe puts Angle in a corner and on the top rope. Joe wants the Buster but Angle pushes him away. Angle hits a missile dropkick! The straps come down and Angle stalks Joe again. Angle lifts but Joe slips out to fire forearms and headbutts. Joe grabs Angle but Angle arm-drags him away. Angle rocks Joe with a right but runs into the sleeper! Joe squeezes and Angle fades, but fans give him a second wind! Angle rolls Joe to a cover, Angle wins!

Winner: Kurt Angle, by pinfall

The Farewell Tour wins by the skin of Angle’s teeth! Joe is shocked, will he be able to snap back before facing Rey Mysterio at Wrestlemania? And what of Angle going over to SmackDown to face the Phenomenal AJ Styles?

 

Triple H is here!

The world heard what The Animal, Dave Batista, had to say about why he wants one more match at Wrestlemania, but now we hear The Game’s response, after the break.

Raw returns and HHH can’t believe the fans were giving an ovation that entire commercial break. It really was, trust him. But first thing’s first, congrats to the Raw Women’s Championship match for being THE main event at Wrestlemania. Congrats to them and all the women of WWE, past, present and future, because this was not given, it was earned. That’s the kind of thing that makes HHH happy. Just like coming out and realizing this mic is dry, unlike the one Batista spit all over. But some things upset HHH, like this thing buried in his pocket. He presents an envelope and a letter from Batista’s attorney. The letter states that Batista will not be competing at Wrestlemania after all. Unless HHH agrees to another stipulation.

This letter goes on and on, Batista says a lot of things like his recent realization that HHH started Evolution to protect himself. Really? Just figured that out 13 years later? Batista also realized that the moon isn’t made of cheese, so a big week for him. Batista also believes Evolution did nothing for him, except before then, he was just The Deacon following Reverend D-Von around. And then after Evolution, he was a world champion. Batista also believes HHH had an obsession that kept Batista down. Yet six world title reigns later, Batista quit when he couldn’t beat John Cena. Batista also thinks HHH kept Batista away from here, because HHH just refused to return his phone calls. HHH called Batista, but Batista’s manager said they should move Wrestlemania’s date to accommodate Batista’s shooting schedules.

But when the letter finally gets to Batista’s stipulation, as HHH will read now to properly reflect Batista’s feelings… “If you would like me to appear then at Wrestlemania, you will give me what I want. What I really, really want. I’ll tell you what I want, what I really, really want.” This goes on and on for pages! But the bottom line, Batista wants HHH’s career on the line. If Batista wins at Wrestlemania, HHH will never compete in the ring again. HHH tells “Dave” that he beat up a 70 year old man a year after being on his deathbed, all just to get a match at Mania. HHH agreed to that match, 75 THOUSAND people, and yet Batista still demands something. This is just another attempt by Batista to quit. HHH will not let Batista quit. He will make Batista stand up to his commitment.

Batista believes HHH is obsessed with Batista? HHH doesn’t give a crap about him! The only thing HHH is obsessed with is kicking Batista’s ass. And at this point in their careers, if HHH cannot beat a “self-deluded douchebag”, then he has no business being in the ring. If Batista wants HHH’s career on the line, “you’ve got it.” The Game plays Batista’s game, but will Batista regret even wanting to play?

 

Elias makes quite the haul.

“New York recognizes talent.” Elias has always felt that way. There’s maybe $2000 in his guitar case. New York is the greatest city in the world, so long as Elias is here. Elias will leave no doubt that there is one universal truth. And that is… you need to watch your money. A pickpocket gets away with some of Elias’ tips, but Elias will make way more than that at Wrestlemania. And then no one will doubt that WWE truly stands for #WalkWithElias. The pickpocket comes back to take the entire guitar case!

 

Last Man Standing: Drew McIntyre VS Dean Ambrose!

The Scottish Terminator thought he had terminated the Lunatic once and for all, but it seems even a Claymore off the stage wasn’t enough. Will Ambrose get payback for himself in such an extreme match? Or will McIntyre be the only one standing on the Road to Wrestlemania?

Raw returns once again as McIntyre makes his entrance. Ambrose is raring to go but the referee has him wait. The bell rings and Ambrose fires off! Ambrose punches and stomps McIntyre in a corner but McIntyre fights his way back out. McIntyre CHOPS Ambrose, then drags him up to CHOP again. McIntyre drags Ambrose up but Ambrose dodges to fire forearms. Ambrose whips but McIntyre reverses. Ambrose kicks and dumps McIntyre out. The Lunatic climbs up top and leaps but misses his Lunatic Elbow! McIntyre watches Ambrose as the count begins. The count climbs to 5 before Ambrose drags himself up. Ambrose stands at 8, but McIntyre is on him with a swinging slam into barriers! Ambrose is down again while we go to one last break.

Raw returns once again, and Ambrose headbutts McIntyre off the top rope. Ambrose adjusts and leaps but into a kendo stick SMASH! McIntyre SMACKS Ambrose more, then digs the stick’s bare tip into Ambrose’s face! McIntyre lets up to SMACK Ambrose against the ropes. The stick is splintered and McIntyre holds it up proudly. McIntyre dares Ambrose to stand back up, but Ambrose ducks and clotheslines McIntyre out! Ambrose builds speed and DIVES! Direct hit sends McIntyre into the barriers! They’re both down as the count begins. The count passes 5 but Ambrose is right up. McIntyre stands, too, but Ambrose throws hands. The Glasgow Kiss rocks Ambrose! McIntyre, bleeding from his back, brings Ambrose under the ring, to catapult guillotine him into the steel frame!

The referee counts on Ambrose but Ambrose is stirring. He stands at 5, but McIntyre has the steel steps! McIntyre rams Ambrose down! The referee counts again as Ambrose sputters and crawls. Ambrose forces himself up at 7! But McIntyre puts him back in the ring. McIntyre takes a chair from the timekeeper’s area and brings it into the ring. He wedges it in the corner and throws Ambrose. Ambrose slides to a stop and baits McIntyre in! McIntyre meets chair! DIRTY DEEDS! The count begins on McIntyre, but the Terminator stands at 8! Ambrose boots him back down then rains down rights! Ambrose hurries to fetch a TABLE! He sets it up in the corner to the liking of the fans. McIntyre manages to stand, and tackles Ambrose through the table!!

Fans lose their minds as the count begins again. McIntyre glares at Ambrose as Ambrose crawls from the wreckage. The count passes 5, then 7, and Ambrose stands at 9! CLAYMORE!! McIntyre knocks Ambrose right back down, and the count begins again. Ambrose slowly sits up but McIntyre looms over him. The count hits 10, McIntyre wins!

Winner: Drew McIntyre

The Terminator steps on Ambrose like the roach he called him. Will McIntyre do the same to Roman Reigns at Wrestlemania?

 


 

My Thoughts:

Wrestlemania’s growing closer, but it seems Raw is slowing down. There was literally no need for the Beat the Clock Challenge tonight, and certainly not if someone other than Ronda was going to win it. Granted, the fans loved seeing Becky beat Ronda’s time, and it is something Becky can brag about in the two weeks left, but what does any of this do? The announcement that the three of them are THE main event should’ve been enough. They can talk, take credit, all of that, but there’s no need for matches like this at this point in time. For that matter, not even sure about next week having a Six Woman Tag where they join forces against Riott Squad. Pretty sure there will be dysfunction, and yet also a way where The Riott Squad still loses. This build’s homestretch just hit a speed bump.

I’m not entirely sure why Vince insists Finn has to beat everyone other than Lashley to prove he’s worthy of the title. I suppose it’s great for Lashley, but Mahal being dragged in was obviously so Lashley could lose without taking the pin. Finn VS Lashley, actually going 1v1, is still going to be good, and I’m still hoping Finn finally gets that win on Lashley directly to put this to bed. Elias’ New York promos were great, but especially the last one. I wonder if his greatest performance, aka greatest interruption, will actually be bigger than Jeff Jarrett now… Aleister & Ricochet are doing great, though at the cost of The Revival. I have a bad feeling that if Aleister & Ricochet are going for main roster tag titles at Wrestlemania, that means The Forgotten Sons win the Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic!!

So glad to see The WWE Women’s Tag Team Championship Fatal 4 Way IS happening! At the same time, Bayley seeing some of the Samoan sneak attack coming was good, because it really should’ve been obvious. This also gave Beth a great moment for herself to confirm that she’s coming back for this match. I still feel like it’s between Boss & Hug retaining or the IIconics taking the belts to SmackDown. SmackDown really needs to work on their Women’s Roster overall, so I’m leaning towards Boss & Hug retaining in a big way. The Strowman celebrity angle is starting to be like screeching brakes on the Road to Wrestlemania. For what it’s worth, everyone is properly selling the dialogue, it just seems weird that Colin and Michael will be in the Andre the Giant Battle Royal. I really hope Strowman still wins it all, that’s the only way to salvage this.

Corbin VS Crews was alright, but it’s probably one of the things that makes the most sense tonight. Corbin needed to keep himself afloat or he really would look like the wrong choice for Angle’s farewell match at Mania. Of course, the Farewell Tour is still hitting the right notes. Angle VS Joe was a bit slow at the start but it got going, and naturally Angle wins. It actually helps both stories, Angle’s and Joe’s, that the win was a quick pin and not a finisher. It’s good to push Angle not quite being in his prime, to bring concern that he might not beat Corbin. And for Joe, it seems quick pins are becoming his weakness as this happened when Mysterio pinned him. Also good to know Angle VS Styles and Angle VS Mysterio are coming, those are going to be great for the Farewell Tour, too.

As for Ambrose constantly getting beat by McIntyre, I can’t be sure the reason other than to boost McIntyre. Roman’s brawl with McIntyre was good, and I suppose it makes sense for McIntyre to stand tall thanks to dirty tactics. McIntyre VS Ambrose was good, but the commercial interruption and the shortness overall kept it from being great. If the Beat the Clock Challenge wasn’t a thing, all of that match time could’ve gone to this. Perhaps this is not only to boost McIntyre, but to make it seem less and less likely Ambrose will even be able to help Roman at Wrestlemania. Rollins had a great promo with Heyman tonight, but there’s no guarantees he actually will #SlayTheBeast. It might only be Roman having a good night at Wrestlemania at this point.

My Score: 7.7/10


Let us know what you think on social media @theCHAIRSHOTcom and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
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(NOAH) WEEKLY NEWSLETTER VOL.28 ~ 24TH MARCH 2019

Hopefully the live stream peaked some extra interest in NOAH! So for everyone new or old that needs to catch up, Hisame’s Newsletters are the perfect one stop shop!

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Hopefully the live stream peaked some extra interest in NOAH! So for everyone new or old that needs to catch up, Hisame’s Newsletters are the perfect one stop shop!

CURRENT TOUR RECAP

After the excitement of Hakata Stalene, NOAH headed back out to Osaka, and then further into the provinces.

At Osaka World Pavilion, Hi69 finished the match by doing the Stuka Splash on Yoshinari Ogawa, after it Ogawa seemed to be struggling a bit and had to be helped up and out of the ring, although eventually he was well enough to walk unaided.

But when Hi69 & Quiet Storm had their first singles match ever on the 20th March at Toyonaka, after the match the ring was stormed by Stinger members Yoshinari Ogawa and Kotaro Suzuki, who beat down Hi69 in revenge. It is unusual to see this happen in NOAH, although Kotaro Suzuki is capable of it (and people getting jumped does happen), it is very rare to see Yoshinari Ogawa do it. Minoru Tanaka came to the rescue.

Hi69 says he will make weight for the tag challenge (“I will get on the scales any time. However, please tell me the day before“), and has started a weight loss diary on his

Twitter, although he did admit to eating lots of meat and going up to 105.

Minoru Tanaka and Hi69 had their own post match beat down on Stinger on the 21st in Kanazawa.

KAZMA SAKAMOTO and Takashi Sugiura teamed together for the first time before they enter Global Tag League together, they seemed to get on pretty well, with KAZMA later paying tribute to Sugiura as “a symbol of NOAH’s strength”.

Naomichi Marufuji, who says he is searching for a purpose, had somewhat of a comedy match in Toyonaka with disco poses being pulled and kicking Masao Inoue in the face for messing around, but a new threat appears to be emerging from the next generation of Junior wrestlers regarding their own status being less than the heavyweights, although he didn’t make too much of a comment about it at the time, it does look like Daisuke Harada took on board Minoru Tanaka’s comments about the GHC Junior being the main event. Marufuji in a post match interview said he could see their hostility building to something, but he didn’t know yet.

A huge rivalry is brewing for Global Tag League 2019 between Kenoh & Kaito Kiyomiya and AXIZ (Katsuhiko Nakajima & Go Shiozaki), which started in Toyonaka and was heralded by a vicious kick battle between Kenoh and Nakajima. After the match, the two teams faced off, with Nakajima grinning evilly. Earlier on the tour, Marufuji (a veteran) was put in the unenviable position of teaming with them (the younger generation who are opposed to him), and at the end of a match which according to one attendee had a “sense of distance between them”, got kicked in the head by Nakajima after shaking hands with him.

Then Shiozaki lariated him. 

In Kanazawa after the match (whereby Nakajima grinned in Kenoh’s face), Kiyomiya and Kenoh declared AXIZ to be a “wanted” tag-team.

Yoshiki Inamura won his second victory over Kinya Okada, whom he now refers to as “my rival”. He had teamed with his teacher, Masa Kitamiya, who had a big smile on his face and did genuinely seem pleased with his trainees progress. After three days of being chopped and kicked his chest was….

Maybach Taniguchi is still continuing in his monster mode, and refuses to change. His Sasumata is still being bought to the ring and used as a weapon, he is still attacking the ref after matches, speaking in grunts, and even Akitoshi Saito who seemed to be attempting to rehabilitate him, has given up. In Kanazawa they tagged together, but it all fell apart when they accidentally knocked each other down, got into an argument and then Taniguchi was defeated by the Funky Buster Bomb. Taniguchi stood in the ring as he and Saito pointed at each other threateningly as Saito left the ring. 

Takashi Sugiura said that this would do no him no good in the end.

NOAH will celebrate the final night of “Spring Navigation 2019” at Korakuen Hall in Tokyo on Friday March 29th.

Event recaps
March 19th: Osaka World Pavilion (post match promos)
March 20th: Toyonaka City Rose Culture Hall (post match promos)
March 21st: Kanazawa Distribution Agency (post match promos)

NEWS

Global Tag League 2019

Global Tag League will return on the 6th April 2019, with the first night being held at Edion Arena Osaka on Saturday 6th April and finishing on 4th May at Korakuen Hall.
This years teams are as follows:

Katsuhiko Nakajima & Go Shiozaki (GHC Heavyweight Tag champions)
Kaito Kiyomiya & Kenoh
Mohammed Yone & Quiet Storm
Maybach Taniguchi & Yuji Hino
Takashi Sugiura & KAZMA SAKAMOTO
Atsushi Kotoge & Mitsuya Nagai
Akitoshi Saito & Masao Inoue
Masa Kitamiya & Yoshiki Inamura.

Due to being defeated by Kaito Kiyomiya for the GHC Heavyweight title, Naomichi Marufuji has said that he will not enter the league this year. However, there is a possibility that he may enter in the end, and probably with a surprise partner. Unspoken speculation has it that since KENTA’s 90 day release clause is up round about the time Global Tag League starts, it may well be KENTA who he enters with.

Personally, I think it is far more likely that Marufuji will enter with Masaaki Mochizuki.

KAZMA says he fears the team of Yuji Hino and Maybach Taniguchi, as Hino knows how to work Taniguchi, however “that dick is a one-man show.”

Atsushi Kotoge has named the team of himself and Mitsuya Nagai “The Revolutionary Cloak Army”

Akitoshi Saito and Masao Inoue were a comedy team last year, with Saito screwing over Inoue, and Inoue not really realizing as Saito kept denying it.

The big rivalry for Global Tag League 2019 this year is Kenoh & Kiyomiya vs AXIZ.

Atsushi Kotoge returns
Atsushi Kotoge will make his return in his hometown of Osaka on the 6th April. Katsuhiko Nakajima took the opportunity to take a shot at Kenoh by looking at the match (“The Revolutionary Cloak Army” vs Kenoh and Kiyomiya) to say, “you are in the opening match” (full card hasn’t been announced yet).

NOAH The Album
Track listing has been confirmed as:

Katsuhiko Nakajima: Genius of The Kick
Daisuke Harada: KTYM
Quiet Storm: MAD
Pro Wrestling NOAH theme: Brave
GHC Jnr Theme
GHC Tag theme
Kaito Kiyomiya: Explosion Soul
Atsushi Kotoge: Switch On
Masa Kitamiya: Go For Broke
Go Shiozaki: Enforcer
Naomichi Marufuji: Hysteric
Theme of Global League
RAN: SAKURETSU (Pro Wrestling NOAH’s official song)

You can pre-order your copy here

Masaaki Mochizuki
Following his highly praised tag against Naomichi Marufuji at the Giant Baba memorial show, Masaaki Mochizuki will be making his first appearance in Pro-Wrestling NOAH on the 29th March at Korakuen Hall, he will team with Masa Kitamiya & Yoshiki Inamura against Naomichi Marufuji and 50 Funky Powers.

CURRENT CHAMPIONS

TOUR TIDBITS
~ Hitoshi Kumano says he wants to challenge for the singles belt
~ Daisuke Harada was cheered on by his nephew in Osaka
~ Kenoh has been noted to be smiling a lot more now he is teaming with Kiyomiya; but don’t let this fool you. Kenoh is still after the GHC Heavyweight, Kiyomiya knows this and has said that they will never properly be friends. Despite the brotherly feeling between them, there is still a sense of rivalry underneath.
~ Katsuhiko Nakajima’ reaction to Yoshiki Inamura teaming with Masa Kitamiya was, “what’s his name? I don’t remember, he didn’t leave much of an impression
~ Kaito Kiyomiya was again on the cover of “Weekly Pro”, he’s only twenty-two, but has already been on the cover about three or four times.
~ Takashi Sugiura imitated KAZMA SAKAMOTO’S scream
~ Katsuhiko Nakajima told a bald reporter that his head was “twinkling”.
~ After the three day in a row tour (and a week away from home), Hitoshi Kumano returned to his “children” (his French Bulldogs), and Takashi Sugiura returned home to his own dog, who wanted to immediately go outside, despite the fact it was 1.30am. He took it for a walk the next day.
~ Despite saying that he didn’t have to call Kenoh “Kenoh-san” anymore, this momentary lapse in manners is over, and Kiyomiya has gone back to calling him just that.

BROADCASTS
G+ will broadcast the 17th April show on April 20th
They will also show the 28th May Korakuen Hall show live

LINKS
Naomichi Marufuji reviews “Bomb Gum”

VENUE GUIDES
Osaka World Pavilion
Toyonaka City Rose Cultural Hall
Kanazawa Distribution Centre
Picture credits: Noah GHC, PKDX, Yoshiki Inamura


Let us know what you think on social media @theCHAIRSHOTcom and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
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