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Mitchell’s WWE Monday Night Raw Report! (4/9/18)

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All images courtesy of the WWE’s official Twitter

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Nia Jax & ??? VS Alexa Bliss & Mickie James; Ember Moon & Nia Jax win.
  • No Way Jose VS John Skyler; Jose wins.
  • Raw Tag Team Eliminator: The Good Brothers VS The Revival; The Revival wins.
  • Sasha Banks VS Mandy Rose w/ Absolution; Mandy wins.
  • Heath Slater & Rhyno VS ???; The Authors of Pain win.
  • Raw Tag Team Eliminator: Titus Worldwide VS ???; wins.
  • Kevin Owens VS Sami Zayn; double count-out, neither man is hired to Raw.
  • Six Man Tag: The Miz & Miztourage VS Seth Rollins, Finn Balor & Jeff Hardy; Rollins, Balor & Hardy win.

PLAY BY PLAY

Raw Commissioner, Stephanie McMahon, heads to the ring.

And she’s holding her broken arm. And that arm is broken because “Rowdy” Ronda Rousey got it in the armbar during the mixed tag match at Wrestlemania. But Stephanie is here tonight, sore and hurt as she is, expecting “a little bit more from you people.” The Raw After Mania is very international, she smelled it on the way out. But she didn’t expect this. Other crowds would sympathize instead of boo. The crowd chants, “You Tapped Out!” Stephanie knows she did, but everyone has to admit they were surprised seeing the performance of a certain woman, “Could she make that transition?” And Stephanie did! She was amazing, she deserves accolades and knew exactly what she was doing. She brought out the best in Ronda and showed us all what she’s made of.

And that brings us to introducing the newest superstar, Ronda Rousey herself!

Ronda Rousey appears, smiling and waving to the fans in attendance. She goes to the ring, and Stephanie admits she tapped. The better woman won. Ronda was spectacular, and showed that everything she does is with passion. Ronda is a role model for everyone, and Stephanie lost to the best. Stephanie tells Ronda that as a Raw superstar, there’s nowhere these two can’t go. Ronda’s talent, Stephanie’s spotlight, they’ll blaze trails all over the world! Stephanie can put all of the “WWE Machine” behind her. The fans will follow Ronda and “our message”! But the fans call, “Bullshit! Bullshit!” Stephanie ignores that, and says Ronda is smarter than the fans. Ronda gets what it takes, but she taught Stephanie a lesson. Stephanie paid the price, and gives it up for her “friend”, WWE’s Rowdy Ronda Rousey! Stephanie offers a handshake, Ronda takes it, and hugs Stephanie, too.

Then throws Stephanie for ANOTHER armbar! Stephanie shrieks as Ronda takes off the brace, and puts her in!

Stephanie taps all over again! Ronda lets her go while referees rush out to help the Raw Commissioner. Ronda grins and shrugs, enjoying herself. Fans let Stephanie know, “You Deserve It!” Will there be any consequences for Ronda physically calling Stephanie out on her lies? Meanwhile, Stephanie has to be helped to the back. Will her arm ever be the same again?

 

Nia Jax & ??? VS Alexa Bliss & Mickie James!

The NEW Raw Women’s Champion has the fans chanting, “You Deserve It!” but The Goddess says the real bully is Nia Jax.

Alexa swears she’s going to tell the truth about the new champion, who loves to throw her weight around. “Which is clearly a lot of weight”. These are the facts, people. Alexa says Nia went after Mickie for no reason and that left Alexa distraught, which is why she lost. Alexa is a compassionate woman, and when she saw her best friend decimated, she competed under “emotional distress”. Nia loved that, she’s cold as ice! Everyone knows it, which is why Nia has no partner! Nia tells Alexa to shut up. Alexa is right, Nia enjoyed what she did to her and Mickie, and became the new Raw Women’s Champion because of it!

But Alexa is wrong, Nia does have a tag team partner. And it’s… EMBER MOON!

Raw is War Goddess now that the former NXT Women’s Champion is here! With this amazing combination standing across from them, do Alexa & Mickie stand a chance?

Alexa claims her sore body is why she isn’t starting, so Nia grabs Mickie and throws her! Nia whips Mickie to a corner, splashes her, then brings her over to the other corner. Mickie dodges, and kicks at Nia’s leg. She shoves Nia into the corner and stomps, then tags Alexa. Mickie stomps more, than Alexa adds her own stomps. Alexa tags Micie back in, Mickie whips Alexa in, but Nia grabs her. Nia grabs Mickie, and headbutts the Goddess down, before tagging in Ember! Nia whips Mickie, Ember hits Mickie with a roaring elbow! Ember keeps moving, neckbreaker to hatch suplex! Ember whips but Mickie kicks her away, then tag to Alexa. Goddess and War Goddess collide, but Ember’s kicks get the better of Alexa!

Ember handsprings in for the forearm smash, then springboards for the crossbody. Cover, TWO, but Ember intercepts Mickie with a mule kick. Ember keeps on Alexa with a whip, but alexa runs out, only for Ember to sweep the legs. Ember climbs up now, takes aim, ECLIPSE!

Cover, Ember & Nia win!

Winners: Ember & Nia, Ember pinning

A successful debut for the Prophecy of Flame! With this victory, will Ember’s career ignite the Raw Women’s Division?

 

Kurt Angle talks on the phone.

He’s impressed by Ember Moon in her debut, and with the Shake-Up next week, there’s going to be a lot of great gets for the roster. Braun Strowman walks in, and Angle congratulates him on the Raw Tag Team Championship win. But where’s Nicholas? He’s right here. But Strowman and Nicholas talked it over, and they know they must relinquish the titles. They have to, Nicholas is still in the Fourth Grade. But one day, when Nicholas is done with school, they’ll come back for those titles. And someone’s gonna #GetTheseHands!

But now with the titles vacated, who will be the new Raw Tag Team Champions?

 

No Way Jose VS John Skyler!

NXT’s Fighting Fiesta makes his main roster debut! And he brings a conga line with him! How will the party translate from Full Sail to Raw and New Orleans?

The bell rings, Jose reveres Skyler’s punch into a dancing hip toss. Jose takes off the armband and winds up alraedy, pop-up Fastball! Cover, Jose wins!

Winner: No Way Jose, by pinfall

The match is done, on with the party! Will Jose party his way all the way to the top now that he’s on the main roster?

 

Kurt Angle meets with The Bar.

The former Raw Tag Team Champions have heard the titles are vacated. Are they getting their titles back here? Or in a more formal presentation? Angle isn’t just going to hand those titles back! They lost to a ten year old! It’ll be in three weeks, at the Greatest Royal Rumble, but against the winner of the #TagTeamEliminator. The Bar should pay close attention, because that comes up next. Who will get the opportunity at the Raw Tag Team Titles in Arabia?

 

The Good Brothers VS The Revival!

Karl Anderson & Luke Gallows have been Raw Tag Team Champions before while Scott Dawson & Dash Wilder want their first taste. They’re the first two teams in Angle’s #TagTeamEliminator, who will come out one step closer to the Greatest Royal Rumble?

Dawson chops Gallows but Gallows reverses the whip, then back drops Dawson high over head. Gallows pumphandles Dawson, back drops Dash, then throws Dawson with the pumphandle slam! Gallows gives Dawson body shots, then an uppercut. Dash comes back in but gets sent back out, Dawson chop blocks Gallows! Teh Bar watches backstage while Dawson goes after Gallows’ leg. Tag to Dash, and they work over the knee together. Dash gives Gallows a standing deathlock snap, then more stomps. He wrenches Gallows’ knee, but Gallows fights back with punches and kicks. Gallows shoves Dash back hard, but Dash still tags in Dawson.

Dawson pounces on Gallows, mocks the Too Sweet, but gets kicks from Gallows. Both men are down, Dawson tags in Dash, but Dash misses hitting Anderson and gets a YAKUZA Kick for it! Tag to Dawson again, but now Anderson tags in! He rallies on Dawson then Dash, dodges Dawson for the jump kick! Anderson hops up, flying neckbreaker! Then he slingshots onto Dash! Anderson keeps moving, flying crossbody but roll through, TWO! SPINEBUSTER! Cover but Dash breaks the cover. Gallows boots Dash out and follows, but Dash sensd him into the barriers. Anderson rolls uP Dawson, TWO, but a tag to Dash. Anderson doesn’t see it, they bait him nito SHATTER MACHINE! Cover, The Revival wins!

Winners: The Revival (Dash & Dawson, Dash pinning)

The opening round to this short tournament has begun with #TopGuys moving on, but who will they face next week before going on to #WWEGRR?

 

Seth Rollins heads to the ring!

The NEW Intercontinental Champion and Grand Slam Champion, the Architect bested The Miz and Finn Balor in their Wrestlemania Triple Threat match. Fans let him know, “You Deserve It!” Rollins speaks on the ups and downs, but that was the loudest “Burn It Down!” he’s ever heard. And after last night, he can say “Seth Freakin’ Rollins” is back! He has to admit, #GrandSlamRollins has a nice ring to it. Fans chant it for him, and he’s finally caught up to make The Shield a Grand Slam stable. But what was even better, was that it happened at Wrestlemania, “in front of you animals”! The fans made this week very special. But here comes Finn Balor!

Finn apologizes for the interruption, but he’s been thinking all day, he has to say it. Rollins invites him to the party, and Finn is in the ring. Fans “Too Sweet! Woop Woop!” for Finn while Finn also congratulates Rollins. Rollins was the better night last night, but that was a Triple Threat. There was a winner, a loser, and the guy who didn’t get pinned, who was “left wanting more.” Finn wants to be the first man to challenge Rollins for the Intercontinental Championship! Fans want to see that, too! Rollins shakes Finn’s hand, but then The Miz appears!

The former Intercontinental Champion is more than happy to interrupt. Miz says Rollins does NOT deserve it! Miz made that title the most prestigious title in all the WWE today, and last night, Miz did it by himself because otherwise everyone would have an excuse when Miz won. Did Miz confirm he can’t win without the Miztourage? Miz says he didn’t want to have an asterisk by his historic title reign. He is a changed man now that he’s a father to a beautiful daughter. And congratulations on that. Miz realizes that everything he does affects his daughter. Monroe Sky and Maryse watched that match, and Maryse said that when Rollins stole the title from Miz, Monroe cried. Rollins made Princess Monroe cry. And that made Maryse cry. And when Miz heard all that, he cried.

Rollins is proud of Miz sharing that, because everyone cries when they watch Miz try to wrestle. If Miz wants his title back, he’ll have to beat him. But he can’t, because he’s not good enough to lace up Rollins’ boots. Miz reminds everyone that Finn is owed nothing, Miz is the one with the rematch clause! Rollins was hoping he’d bring that up. Miz should man up and use that rematch clause right here tonight! The fans want that? The fans want that match right here tonight? Well Miz says no! Miz will use the clause when he wants, and decides to use it at Backlash.

Miz tries to hush the crowd, then tells Rollins and Finn that when you negotiate, you negotiate it from a position of strenght. If they want match, make it 3v2, Miztourage VS Rollins & Finn. Rollins and Finn are ready, but out comes JEFF HARDY!?

The Charismatic Enigma makes this an even 3v3 now! And while The Miztourage gets ready to fight, they decide to back off. Fans boo and jeer, but The Miztourage does things on their time. Will The Miz get the title back next month? And what will Jeff Hardy do now that he’s back from injury?

 

Sasha Banks VS Mandy Rose w/ Absolution!

While neither of these ladies won the inaugural Women’s Wrestlemania Battle Royal, that doesn’t mean The Legit Boss or the Golden Gift will stop fighting for the top of the Raw Women’s Division. Can Sasha snap back from being eliminated by her “best friend”? Or will Mandy win because she has friends she can trust? Speaking of, Bayley makes her way out to the ring! Is she here to help or hinder Sasha?

The bell rings and Mandy rushes Sasha but Sasha throws her right out, then baseball slides Mandy down. Fans sing for Bayley while Sasha keeps on Mandy with a Thesz Press! Sasha throws fast hands, then puts Mandy in a corner to grind a boot into her face. Sasha suplexes Mandy, covers, TWO. She keeps on Mandy with an armlock while the fans keep singing for Bayley. Mandy stands up but Sasha whips her, Mandy elbows Sasha back and throws her down! Mandy embraces the heat, then toys with Sasha, putting her in a corner now. Sasha blocks a buckle bump to give a bunch of buckle bumps. Sasha gives Mandy one more big buckle bump, but Mandy gives one back. Mandy rolls Sasha, deadlift waistlock, for a wheelbarrow hotshot! Absolution’s Gift is in control while we go to break.

Raw returns, and Mandy has Sasha in an abdominal stretch. Sasha fights her way out and hip-tosses Mandy. Sashsa throws forearms and runs to rally with more forearms. She dropkicks Mandy, then runs in at the corner, but Mandy puts her over to the apron. Sasha hits with a knee, then climbs up for the Meteora! Cover, TWO, and Mandy bails out of the ring. Sasha goes out and clobbers Mandy down, but then Mandy revives to rock Sasha with a forearm. Mandy starts trouble with Bayley, Bayley swings but Mandy ducks and Bayley hits Sasha!

Sasha gets Mandy in the ring, then argues with Bayley, but Bayley swears it was a mistake. Sasha enters, Mandy clocks her with a knee strike of her own! Cover, Mandy wins!

Winner: Mandy, by pinfall

Absolution celebrates but Bayley makes her way to the back. Sasha glares at Bayley as she follows, will these two ever get back to the way things were?

Meanwhile, Paige speaks for Absolution. “Some of you may know this, some of you don’t.” Paige must confess, it’s been really hard to be on the sidelines. She was born to be in this ring, it his her heart and soul! But unfortunately, her neck injuries make it so that she cannot perform as an in-ring competitor. This is a hard moment for her, but fans chant, “Thank You, Paige!” Paige composes herself, and thanks every single female superstar, they make her proud to be part of the Division. They’ve made this decision bigger than any of them ever imagined.

Paige thanks Daniel Bryan for encouraging her. He came back from his own career-ending condition, and that gives her hope. She also thanks Edge, he also encouraged her that there’s life outside of the ring that she can also pursue. Paige also thanks the WWE for letting her even have the four years she had. She debuted here those four years ago to become a Diva’s Championship, so it’s fitting that this is where she retires. She then thanks the fans, and the fans thank her back. They also let her know, “This is Your House!”

She thanks them again, and agrees, this will always be HER house. The Glampire takes her leave of the ring and takes a bow. Will Paige ever return to the ring? Will she still be part of the WWE outside of wrestling?

 

Raw looks back to Wrestlemania’s legendary surprise!

At first, Cena thought he was getting The Undertaker. Instead, Elias would come out and run down the crowd. Cena would lash out and beat up The Drifter, but then he did get The Undertaker! They had a match, and Taker WON! Is the Deadman back better than ever, and for good?

 

“Ladies and Gentlemen: Elias.”

The Drifter is still in New Orleans, and he asks as he always does, “Who Wants to Walk with Elias?!” New Orleans and the Post-Mania crowd give a good response. Elias realizes that WWE really does need what he is, as WWE stands for, “Walk With Elias!” In one year, Elias has become the biggest musical act on the planet! Fans agree. Wrestlemania was about his performance, but it was interrupted. The fans sing for Elias, but he promises he will do his performance. Of course, it’s the same group of “scumbags” from last night… The fans proudly chant, “We Are Scumbags!” Then silence phones, hold applause and shut mouths so he can begin!

“Wrestlemania, the whole world gathers ’round. Every godforsaken cities and trashy towns. Travel near and far, to come to this place, but as you all clap, I want to punch you in the face!” But then, BOBBY LASHLEY APPEARS!!

What a return! The Alpha Male, the Dominator, is back in the WWE! He stares Elias down in the middle of the ring, and fans chant, “Welcome Back!” Elias swings on Lashley, but gets turned into a neckbreaker. Lashley lifts Elias up, and holds him up! With one arm! Then turns him around, before dropping him down.

Lashley leaves Elias wrecked, who will Lashley wreck next?!

 

Kurt Angle boasts on his phone.

It’s not even Superstar Shake-Up yet and we’ve got so many great additions! But then, Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn walk in!?

They now he’s busy, they just need a moment to speak their case. Kevin & Sami had a “falling-out” with management on SmackDown, so– Wait they’re looking for a job here on Raw?! Yes… But they got fired for attacking the GM and Commissioner. yes, but it was all a personal vendetta! Sami & Kevin have realized they need to be “team players.” Angle already has a full Tag Team Division, but TNA is hiring.

No, they’re not here to be a tag team, it’s not about hiring them both. Wait, what? Sorry, Sami, but Kevin has a family and kids. Angle understands, right? They just want a chance. Angle knows they’re talented, and has one spot on Raw. They’ll wrestle each other for it, or not at all. Sami & Kevin accept the offer, who will win their job back by costing the other?

 

Heath Slater & Rhyno VS ???

The One Man Band is upset he and the Manbeast aren’t in the Raw Tag Team Eliminator tournament. They’re the inaugural SmackDown Tag Team Champions! But to the point, Heath’s got kids! And a whole lot of them! He needs this job, he needs the money. He and Rhyno issue an open challenge to ANY tag team in the back, so bring it on! Fans already anticipate who it’ll be.

It’s the AUTHORS OF PAIN!! Paul Ellering leads Akam & Rezar to the ring, the same as he once did the Legion of Doom! The fans chant “A O P! A O P!” and the bell rings. Slater tries to bring teh fight to Rezar, but Rezar stays up to take Slater down. Rezar hammers away, then tags in Akam, for the backbreaker stomp! Akam clubs Rhyno just because, then Rezar boots Rhyno. They bring Slater up, tag, LAST CHAPTER! Rezar covers, the AoP wins!

Winners: The Authors of Pain (Akam & Rezar, Rezar pinning)

But wait, they tell Ellering to stay? They don’t need him anymore? Are they ready to go it all alone now that they’re on the main roster?

 

Roman Reigns heads to the ring.

The Big Dog was beaten bloody at the hands of The Beast. Roman doesn’t have the Universal Champion, but he will get another try in Saudi Arabia as part of the Greatest Royal Rumble event. As for tonight, he sports the wounds of that Wrestlemania war he waged, and endures the mix of cheers, boos and jeers from the crowd. “As you can see, I got my ass kicked last night.” But at least Roman is here, because Lesnar isn’t. Roman isn’t sure what even happened. When he arrived, what hurt the most was that Vince didn’t look him in the eyes. Roman knows Lesnar is one hell of a business man.

Last Wednesday, Lesnar is headed back to UFC, but then today he’s still here! And Roman found out about his coming cage match on the internet. Roman doesn’t know what this is about, but he vows to end this story by becoming champion! But wait, Samoa Joe appears!

The Destroyer returns, and says it’s time to break out the tinfoil hats, since Roman sees a conspiracy. But the reality is, Lesnar didn’t just beat Roman, he exposed Roman. For over a year, Roman acted like he was the only one who could beat Lesnar. But the reality is, Roman failed, and he is therefore a failure! And it also makes Roman a liar, for lying to the fans, to his family and to himself. Roman is still lying, because he can’t face the facts that every time he and Lesnar meet, Roman gets jacked up. Roman can’t face the fact that he gets broken and Lesnar gets richer. The Beast will always conquer The Big Dog, and the Big Dog will always come up with excuses.

However, Joe says the cycle will end, because after Roman fails again, Joe will be waiting at Backlash, “to put you to sleep.” The Destroyer has issued his warning, will he be meeting Roman the failure? Or Roman the champion?

 

Raw Tag Team Eliminator: Titus Worldwide VS ???

The Real Deal and his star client, Apollo, are ready to be Raw Tag Team Champions, but who will they have to get through to get there? The WOKEN Wisdom stands by his Humongous Wonder #8 trophy, and begins the Expedition For Gold alongside his foil, BRAY WYATT! “We’re here.” Time to DELETE!

The bell rings and Titus starts against Matt, but can’t seem to comprehend the WOKEN Wisdom. Titus shouts, “Titus Worldwide~!” But Hardy says DELETE! They tie up, Hardy gets a waistlock, but Titus throws him off. Wyatt tags in, Titus goes after Hardy but Wyatt grabs Titus and they work together for a bulldog dropkick! Wyatt runs Titus over, then laughs as Titus gets up. Titus tags in Apollo while fans sing, “he’s got the whole~ world, in his hands!” The two circle, tie up, and Wyatt throws Apollo to a corner. Apollo throws hands then whips corner to corner but Wyatt reverses. Apollo goes up and over to show off his agility, which is “WONDERFUL~!”

Hardy & Wyatt applaud, as do the fans, so even Titus and Apollo applaud. Until Wyatt boots Apollo down.

Wyatt brings Apollo up while The Bar watches backstage again. Wyatt hammers away on Apollo, the fans chant “DELETE! DELETE!” Hardy says “ENOUGH”, and tags in. He gives his own “DELETE DELETE” forearms, WONDERFUL~! Apollo hits back but Hardy knees and whips. Apollo reverses but Hardy avoids the dropkick. Hardy bumps Apollo off buckle after buckle, but Wyatt tags in. Wyatt continues where Hardy left off. Wyatt upoercuts Apollo, then tags Hardy in, and they work together to corner splash and Side Effect Apollo! Cover, but TItus breaks it, so Wyatt uses Hardy as a step stool to clobber Titus! Hardy calls for another DELETE, then goes for the Twist, but Apollo shoves and dropkicks. Hardy tags Wyatt, but Apollo enziguris him.

Apollo hurries to the top rope, jumps, but into the yurinagi! The fans rally and Wyatt goes to a corner for his WONDERFUL~ spider walk! Wyatt grabs Apollo, and feeds him to the Twist of Fate! Cover, Hardy & Wyatt win!

Winners: Hardy & Wyatt, Hardy pinning

This yin-yang of mystic madness moves on to the next round of this Tag Team Eliminator. Will they DELETE the #TopGuys to then challenge the Swiss Cyborg & Celtic Gladiator for the titles in Arabia?

 

Kevin Owens VS Sami Zayn!

It’s no surprise that the #YEPMovement came groveling to the other brand of WWE looking for work. But it’s also no surprise that they’re willing to fight each other to get what they want. The Frenemies are back towards the enemy side of their relationship, which man will win the last spot available on the Raw roster?

The bell rings and Sami goes for a Helluva Kick out the gate, but Kevin dodges. The two friends smile and laugh, but the Kevin tries the Pop-up powerbomb! Sami holds ropes but Kevin is right on him, only for Sami to dump Kevin out. Sami builds speed, but runs into Kevin’s back elbow. Kevin kicks Sami while he’s down, then runs but Sami throws him out again, to then FLY! Fans applaud while both men are down. Angle watches while Sami puts Kevin back in the ring and fans sing, “Ole~ ole ole ole~!” Sami springboards but Kevin knocks him down to the ground. Kevin goes out and says, “Job’s on the line, buddy!” He goes to powerbomb Sami but Sami counters and catapults Kevin into the post!

Sami follows Kevin into the ring, they brawl, Sami goes acrobatic but Kevin hangs  him up on the top rope! Sami falls, Kevin goes up for the Vader bomb elbow! Cover, TWO, Kevin tries again, TWO. Kevin tries a third time, TWO! Kevin is frustrated but in control while we go to break.

Raw returns and Sami fights Kevin off the top rope, to then jump over but run into a SUPERKICK! Kevin goes for the pop-up but Sami slips out, Sami hits the Blue Thunder Bomb! TWO, and Sami is shocked. Kevin rolls away but Sami takes aim at him from across the way. Sami runs but Kevin rolls out to avoid the kick. Sami slips out of the ring, but Kevin SUPERKICKS the daredevil DDT dead, to then CANNONBALL Sami! No cover yet, he goes up top! Kevin leaps for the FROG SPLASH! Cover, TWO! But just barely, and Kevin is frustrated. Angle continues to watch as Kevin and Sami are slow to standing.

Kevin runs in, corner clothesline, then he runs back to hit another. Kevin keeps going, but HELLUVA KICK! Sami reaches but Kevin slumps to the apron, preventing a cover. The fans hope the “Fight Forever!”

Sami drags Kevin up, but Kevin holds the ropes. Kevin elbows Sami away, then hits the Pop-Up Bomb! But then Kevin falls out of the ring from being too close to the ropes! He hurries back up, then decides to try another top rope move. Sami gets up, HELLUVA Kick rocks Kevin on the top! Sami climbs up but Kevin fights back, SUPER Fisherman Suplex!

Both men down and the fans are loving it! The ten count reaches 10, this match ends on a double count-out! What does this mean for the results?

Double count out, no one wins

So neither man wins a contract with Raw? That’s no fair! Sami and Kevin protest, but it was the rules of the match. What does this mean for both of their futures?

 

Jeff Hardy encounters WOKEN Matt Hardy backstage.

Matt is glad that his brother has recovered from his BROKEN Condition. Yes, and Jeff tried to contact Matt, but his messages must have been accidentally DELETED. Matt won his Humongous Wonder #8 Battle Royal, but thanks to a certain familiar friend.

Bray Wyatt walks over, and welcomes Brother Nero back. It is good to see that Sister Abigal has been rendered OBSOLETE. Yes, and Wyatt feels… Wonderful. Finn and Rollins meanwhile have no idea what that just was. Jeff just shrugs, and continues his way out.

 

Six Man Tag: The Miz & Miztourage VS Seth Rollins, Finn Balor & Jeff Hardy!

While the Hollywood A-Lister wants his title back, he and his sidekicks will have to get through the Grand Slam Architect, the Extraordinary Man and the returning Charismatic Enigma first. Can the Most Must-See Superstar avenge the tears of his wife and daughter? Or will he, Bo and Axel be rendered OBSOLETE?!

The teams sort things out, and it starts with Miz and Rollins. But then Miz backs off when Rollins approaches, and tags in Axel. The Ax Man steps in the ring and circles with Rollins. They tie up, Axel gets a headlock, Rollins powers out but Axel runs him over. Axel brings Rollins back into the headlock, but Rollins powers out again and things speed up. Rollins arm-drags Axel into the arm-lock, but Axel hits with a forearm. Axel tags in Bo, but Rollins solos the Miztourage. He boots Bo down, then drops the leg. Bo scrambles, Rollins tags in Finn, then Finn tags in Jeff. Rollins becomes the step stool, and Jeff uses him to give Axel Poetry in Motion! Finn does the same, Poetry in Motion for Bo!

The three men stare Miz down but Miz backs down while we go to break.

Raw returns once more, and Bo has Rollins in a chinlock. Fans rally and Rollins fights out, tag to Finn! Finn kicks Bo away, then rallies with forearms. He chops Axel, then counters Bo into the takedown and stomps! Finn flexes while Bo gets to a corner, and hits the running chop. He gives Bo the elbow drop DDT, cover, TWO. Finn takes aim at Bo but Miz distracts, Bo pounces from behind. Miz tags in and Miz stomps away on Finn. Miz runs to boot Finn down, then covers, TWO. He puts Finn in a chinlock, but fans rally for Finn. Finn stands up and reaches, punching Miz away. Miz counters Finn into the A-Lister combination, backbreaker and neckbreaker. Cover, TWO! Miz taunts Rollins then tags in Axel. Axel gives Finn the neck snap, then taunts Rollins & Jeff.

Axel stomps on Finn and puts him into a chinlock. Finn endures the bend, but fans continue to rally. Finn reaches but Axel knees low and whips Finn, dropping him with a dropkick. Axel tags Bo, then slams Finn, Bo gives a knee drop and then more and more knees. Cover, TWO, but Bo puts Finn back in a chinlock. Finn endures the squeeze, but Finn fights his way up, only for Bo to wrangle him back down. Bo keeps Finn down, grinding him into the mat. Fans rally once more, and Finn fights up and out with a jawbreaker.

Bo staggers back but still holds Finn back. Finn fights him off, Bo whips Finn but Finn gets around Bo for a saido suplex! Both men are down, but stirring. Finn crawls for his corner, as does Bo, hot tag to Miz and he blasts Rollins down! Finn back drops, Miz sunset flips, but Finn rolls through to dropkick Miz! The fans rally again while Finn and Miz crawl, hot tags to Axel and Jeff! Jeff rallies on Axel, but Axel reverses the whip, only for Jeff to knock him down. Jeff hits the atomic drop then the split-leg leg drop. Splash, cover, TWO! Fans chant for “Brother Nero!” while he waits for Axel. He kicks low, goes for the Twist but Axel shoves Jeff away. Jeff swings at Bo but misses, Axel pounces in the corner.

Axel tags in Bo, Miztourage double whip Jeff but he fights them off to then go up, Whisper in the Wind! All three men are down, but Miz and Rollins return. Fans rally while Bo and Jeff crawl, hot tags to Miz and Rollins! The Architect springboards to clothesline Miz, then rallies with a blockbuster! Miz swings but misses, Rollins DIVES on Axel! Rollins returns and dumps Miz out, then builds up speed again, to DIVE on Miz and the Miztourage!

He puts Miz back in the ring while fans chant, “Burn It Down!” Rollins runs at Miz but misses in the corner. Miz clears his head, then climbs up top, but Rollins is upon him! SUPERPLEX and roll through to Falcon Arrow! Bo breaks the cover! Finn returns, slingblade to Bo! Axel in, Finn clotheslines him out. Finn builds speed and FLIES on the Miztourage! Miz rolls Rollins, TWO, Rollins rolls him for the CURB STOMP! Cover, Rollins’ team wins!

Winners: Rollins, Finn & Jeff Hardy, Rollins pinning

But the Miztourage sneak attacks, Bo gets the Twist of Fate and the Coup de Grace! Jeff goes up, SWANTON BOMB!

Curb Stomp! SUPERKICK to Axel, Finn goes up again for another Coup de Grace! Jeff goes up again, another Swanton Bomb! Fans want more, so Rollins gives Axel the Curb Stomp! Now things are down between these three and the Miztourage. However, Miz will come for his title in four weeks at Backlash. Will the Grand Slam Architect hold on to his belt through the cross-branded PPV? And with Superstar Shake-Up next week, will any of these men even be on Raw by then?

 


 

My Thoughts:

This was a pretty damn good #RawAfterMania. There were a lot of great surprises tonight, such as NXT Call-ups Ember Moon, No Way Jose and the Authors of Pain, as well as the returns of Jeff Hardy, Samoa Joe and Bobby Lashley. Ember did great helping Nia teach Alexa & Mickie a lesson, great to see John Skyler back on something WWE related even if it’s to feed Jose’s debut. The AoP of course win, but they somewhat disappoint by abruptly saying good-bye to Paul Ellering. We all knew this day was coming, but it just seems too soon. Meanwhile, Lashley opens up so many possibilities, it’s great to finally have him back. Samoa Joe calls out Roman, but is willing to wait until the Greatest Royal Rumble to settle things with him, that’s going to be fun.

Ronda beating up Stephanie more was so much fun, and extends her story with Raw management. As expected, Strowman didn’t get to be Raw Tag Team Champion long, but now it opens the titles back up again. The Revival VS #WOKENFamily is a great choice for next week, and I’m sure the winner will be left out of the Shake-Up. Woken Family can go all the way to fight The Bar, but no idea if they’ll win at #WWEGRR. Sasha VS Mandy was a good match, and it builds the Bayley-Sasha story more. Paige finally gives her retirement speech, but as she mentioned, if Daniel Bryan can make his way back, why not her? I really hope she sticks with the WWE in some way while she recovers because she’s still such a great talent.

Speaking of great talents, Kevin & Sami logically grovel to Angle, and put on a great match against each other, but the double count-out finish makes sense because it’d be a shame if only one of them “won back their job”. The Shake-Up is coming, and there’s a lot more they can do with this, surely Kevin & Sami will return somewhere. The main event was also great, Jeff looked great coming back from injury. He, Rollins & Finn win to stay strong coming off Rollins’ great Wrestlemania win. Again, the Shake-Up is coming, but I’d hope the coming Intercontinental Championship rematch stays intact. Though, if Miz isn’t challenging Rollins at #WWEGRR, then who is?

My Score: 8.8/10


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NOAH WEEKLY NEWSLETTER VOL.119 ~ 24TH JANUARY 2021

A former King of Pancrase and Triple Crown champion steps up to challenge for the GHC National title at Budokan! NOAH shaping up for their biggest event in a decade! 

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A former King of Pancrase and Triple Crown champion steps up to challenge for the GHC National title at Budokan! NOAH shaping up for their biggest event in a decade!

NEWS

Hajime Ohara tests positive for COVID-19

It was announced on the 22nd January that Hajime Ohara had tested positive for Covid after a routine PCR test. The Osaka card was changed with YO-HEY filling in for him. Ohara has not shown any symptoms of fever, cough or loss of taste so far, and temperature taken on the morning of the 24th January was normal. Ohara is isolating at home, and true to form is studying (he was taking an online English class), and and eating nutritiously. He is determined to be back to NOAH for The Budokan.

In Osaka, the roster paid tribute to him, with YO-HEY making the Muy Bien sign, and Naomichi Marufuji finishing his promo (tantrum) with “Muy Bien”.

Kenoh from Murakami to Masakatsu

In a match that lasted only nine minutes and forty seconds, which was really for how long it needed to last, Kenoh defeated Kazunari Masakatsu for the GHC National title in Osaka on the 23rd January 2021. The match started off somewhat MMA style, and went to mat wrestling. Kenoh got his own back on Murakami for felling him with a closed fist, by doing the same, but this seemed to only make Murakami mad and he unleashed a volley of kicks and punches on Kenoh. After a brief loss of temper, Kenoh came to his senses and realized that he was going to have to take Murakami down, and he did it by using the sleeper hold, which caused the referee to stop the match.

Almost immediately after the match had finished, Masakatsu Funaki made his challenge. He simply pointed at the belt and asked Kenoh to be his next challenger. Kenoh accepted the challenge, and set it for the Nippon Budokan (12th February 2021), but backstage rather than scream abuse about his opponent, he actually said that he was it was exciting and he was looking forward to it. Murakami he said he had also enjoyed the match with, although he admitted to being scared by him.

Masakatsu Funaki seemed to have a few different reasons for challenging; he had the image of being a champion alongside Mutoh, Kenoh was not something he had experienced before, and he felt that the time was now to do it. He was also complimentary about Kenoh, saying that he was “in his thirties and riding high”. Funaki makes the third MMA fighter to have challenged Kenoh.

EVENT RECAPS & POST MATCH PROMOS

Event recap: HIGHER GROUND 2021 (January 23rd, Edion Arena Osaka 2nd Stadium)

Post match interviews: HIGHER GROUND 2021 (January 23rd, Edion Arena Osaka 2nd Stadium)

ELSEWHERE IN NOAH

~ Atsushi Kotoge admitted some jealousy of Daisuke Harada.

~ Mohammed Yone did some catering for the roster on the way home from Osaka.

~ Naomichi Marufuji won the chop challenge against Go Shiozaki, then got annoyed at it being pointed out that he beat Shiozaki in the challenge, but wasn’t the one to make the pin and win the match. Pointed out that HE was the senior to them, and would take both their belts, “so I can enter last and show them off”. And then walked off.

~ Takashi Sugiura says he aims to create a new record, and become the GHC Heavyweight Champion at the age of 50, however if Keiji Mutoh defeats Go Shiozaki for it, he will do it when he is 60.

CURRENT CHAMPIONS

ALL the titles, except the GHC Heavyweight Tag, have been challenged for and the matches will take place at The Budokan. Fans are hoping that Katsuhiko Nakajima and Masa Kitamiya will challenge, especially as they are teaming together against Takashi Sugiura (Kazushi Sakuraba is absent) on NOAH’s last show before The Budokan, on the 31st January.

 

THIS WEEK IN NOAH

Sunday 31st January: “HIGHER GROUND 2021” (11.30am JST, Korakuen Hall.)

BROADCASTS

NOAH’s 23rd January show from Osaka will be available to view on WRESTLEUNIVERSE on Tuesday 26th January. The GHC National title match, and the main event were streamed live through Periscope.

The 31st January event at Korakuen Hall has not had broadcast details announced yet.

LINKS

“Parasyte” Kazunari Murakami’s plan to take over the REIWA Ark

“For us, The Budokan is the beginning rather than the “Return” ~ Interview with Yoshiki Inamura

Kazushi Sakuraba has an astonishing determination to “become the Takako Tokiwa” of the Pro Wrestling World

Pro Wrestling Casebook ~ a shock ran through Michinoku, when Kenoh announced he was joining Noah (2013)

“Aiming to become the GHC Champion, in the year of my 60th birthday” ~ Takashi Sugiura

GIF taken from Noah’s Periscope

Match graphic taken from the Official NOAH Twitter

 


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Mitchell’s WWE 205 Live Results & Report! (1/22/21)

And you thought last week was big!

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205 Live doubles down on historic matches!

Not only are two 205 Live OG taking on a BRUTAL combination in Thatcher & Ciampa, but the WOMEN’S Dusty Cup comes to the purple ‘n’ orange!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Women’s Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic Opening Round: The Way’s Candice LeRae & Indi Hartwell VS Gigi Dolin & Cora Jade; The Way wins and advances.
  • Men’s Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic Opening Round: Tony Nese & Ariya Daivari VS Timothy Thatcher & Tommaso Ciampa; Thatcher & Ciampa win and advance.

PLAY BY PLAY

205 Live explains how a certain Dusty Cup match came to be.

It was on NXT that Ashante “Thee” Adonis was in a match with the cruel Karrion Kross. Kross showed no mercy to Adonis as he hit him with TWO Doomsday Saido Suplexes and the blindside forearm smash. Then he would show no mercy to Adonis’ tag partner, Desmond Troy, by wrapping him up in the Krossjacket submission! The damage done was too severe for either man to compete tonight, and now they’re OUT of the Dusty Rhodes Classic! However, there is a new team that has been formed.

The Professor of Pain and the Psycho Killer put each other through torture inside the Fight Pit, and in the end, they found respect for each other. They’re now a killer combination and having their tag team debut TONIGHT, in the tag team tournament! Will they put the Premier Athlete and Persian Lion through similar suffering, all for a shot at history and the NXT Tag Team Championships?

 

Women’s Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic Opening Round: The Way’s Candice LeRae & Indi Hartwell VS Gigi Dolin & Cora Jade!

How is this for history? 205 Live has its first-ever women’s match, and it is for this historic women’s tag team tournament! But will it be even more historic for the two debuting superstars? Or will Candice & Indi Wrestling dominate where the boys, Johnny & Austin, failed?

The teams sort out, Indi starts against Jade and the two circle. They tie up, go around, and Indi throws Jade down. Indi says Jade is NOT #Impressive, but Jade hits back with body shots! Indi knees low, whips Jade to a corner but Jade dodges! Jade tags Gigi and Gigi dodges Indi for a BOOT! Jade BOOTS Indi, then Gigi runs in to spin and ROCK Indi with a forearm! Indi hits back, drags Gigi over and tags in Candice. Candice stomps Gigi down, brings her up and through the ropes to choke her. The ref counts, Candice lets off at 4 to then CLUB Gigi down. Candice stomps Gigi, taunts Jade, but misses the leg drop!

Gigi rams Candice to the corner, tags in Jade, and Jade runs corner to corner to SHINING WIZARD! Jade brings Candice around but Indi is in the way of her run. Candice CLOBBERS Jade then covers, ONE! Candice hammers away on Jade, dribbles her off the mat, and fans boo as Candice drags Jade up with a chinlock. Candice has a neck wrench, fans chant “You Still Suck!” but Jade fights her way up. Candice CLUBS Jade, whips her to the Way’s corner, then runs in for a back body block! Indi tags in and she taunts Gigi before hitting Jade with a forearm! Indi throws Jade down to cover, TWO!

Indi keeps on Jade with a cravat for the neck crank. Jade fights up, fans rally and Jade throws body shots. Jade whips, Indi reverses and scoops for a sidewalk slam! Cover, TWO! Indi keeps her cool, tags Candice, and Candice wrenches Jade to snapmare and chinlock. Candice digs her knee in but Jade endures. Fans rally, Jade fights up, throws more body shots, then breaks free to uppercut! Jade runs but wobbles, but she elbows Candice again! Jade baits Candice into her own corner, dodges, but Candice gets Jade’s leg! Jade kicks Candice away, hot tags to Indi and Gigi! Gigi didges, fires off on Indi, KICKS away on the leg, then kicks that leg out! BUZZSAW!

Gigi DECKS Candice for good measure before she BOOTS Indi down! Cover, TWO! Gigi snarls as she drags Indi up and clubs her on the back. Tag to Jade, they bring Indi around together to double suplex but Indi fights it off! Indi BOOTS Jade, kicks Gigi and reels Gigi in for a suplex of her own! Indi holds Gigi up for a count of 10 before the SLAM! Gigi bails out so Indi tags Candice. Candice runs into Jade’s roll up, TWO! Jade Oklahoma Rolls, TWO! Ghost pin, TWO!! Candice flounders up but gets around Jade to roll her up, TWO!! Indi tags in and kicks Jade to then back suplex SLAM! Cover, The Way wins!

Winners: The Way, by pinfall (advance to the next round)

Candice and Indi are making their way into the semifinals! But will Kacy Catanzaro & Kayden Carter be in the way of The Way making history?

 

Men’s Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic Opening Round: Tony Nese & Ariya Daivari VS Timothy Thatcher & Tommaso Ciampa!

The Premier Athlete and Persian Lion have been here since day one of 205 Live, and were looking strong going into this match when it was against Adonis & Troy. But again, it has only been a couple days since NXT, are the Professor of Pain and Psycho Killer in any shape to face them on their home turf?

The teams sort out and Nese and Daivari seem to laugh at the two former enemies trying to be a team now. Daivari starts with Thatcher, they tie up and Daivari goes after an arm. Thatcher pries him off of that with a chinlock and then grinds into a headlock. Thatcher throws Daivari down, pulls on his head, but Daivari tries to pull hair. Thatcher just smiles that jagged tooth grin as he gets back up and goes after Daivari’s arm! Thatcher wrangles Daivari with a hammerlock, traps it with his legs then gets Daivari’s legs. Thatcher pulls Daivari into a Bow ‘n’ Arrow! Daivari endures, it becomes a cover, TWO!

Thatcher grabs at Daivari right away and has a facelock. Daivari endures, gets around, waistlocks, but Thatcher pries at the arm. Daivari tags Nese in, Nese rolls Thatcher up, TWO! Thatcher trips Nese and has the foot for a toe ‘n’ ankle. He shifts to a heel hook, then gets the arm but Nese scrambles around. Ciampa wants in, so Thatcher tags him in! Fans cheer as Ciampa wrenches Nese’s arm and drags him down. Nese resists the Fujiwara but Ciampa wrenches through again to a wristlock. Nese chinbars to get the arm, but Ciampa slips through to headlock. Nese throws Ciampa off but Ciampa headlocks and throws Nese down! Fans cheer as Ciampa grinds Nese into the mat.

Nese fights up, gets free to waistlock but Ciampa switches. Nese bucks Ciampa off, runs in and trips Ciampa up to go after the leg! Ciampa kicks Nese away, facelocks Nese in return and grinds him down. Fans rally, Nese moves around, and Nese powers Ciampa to the corner. Nese puts the leg on the rope, tags in Daivari, but Ciampa fights out with forearms and elbows! Ciampa DECKS Daivari but Nese trips him up! The ref reprimands but Daivari drags Nese to the corner to SLAM the leg into the post! And then he SLAMS the other leg! Thatcher storms over as Daivari keeps on the legs but the ref shouts at everyone to get back to their corners.

Daivari puts Ciampa in, drops elbows on the leg then stomps it, then drags Ciampa from Thatcher. Daivari drops more elbows, stomps the leg more, then clamps onto the leg to step through, for a Figure Four! Ciampa endures, Thatcher coaches him and the fans rally up! Ciampa drags himself and Daivari over but Nese gets in to hit Thatcher! The ref has to keep Thatcher back but Nese drags Daivari and Ciampa away! Nese tags in to stomp away on Ciampa, and Daivari finally lets Ciampa out of the hold. Fans boo and jeer while Nese flexes. Nese drags Ciampa over, tags in Daivari, and they split the wishbone on Ciampa!

Nese runs at Thatcher but Thatcher DECKS him first! Daivari has Ciampa’s leg but Ciampa enziguris back! Tag to Thatcher! Thatcher clinches Daivari for a BELLY2BELLY! Then a BELLYBELLY for Nese! EuroUppers for both Cruiserweights back and forth! Nese runs back in but Thatcher has the arm! Thatcher clamps on but has to stop Daivari first. HEEL HOOK! Nese pulls Thatcher’s ears and HOTSHOT BULLDOGS! Thatcher is down, Nese tags in, and Nese hurries to PREMIER TRIANGLE MOONSAULT! Tag back to Daivari and Daivari climbs up, LION SPLASH! Cover, but Ciampa breaks it!

Fans fire up as Ciampa returns to his corner. Daivari and Thatcher crawl, Nese tags in first! Thatcher kicks Nese away, and tags Ciampa back in! Ciampa rallies on Nese and Daivari with forearms and CHOPS! Ciampa CHOPS Daivari again but Nese dropkicks the bad leg out! Nese and Daivari both go up, DOUBLE- DECKED! Nese gets a knee, Daivari gets a forearm! Thatcher and Ciampa glare at each other, Ciampa gives Nese WILLOW’S BELL! Cover, Ciampa & Thatcher win!!

Winners: Tommaso Ciampa & Timothy Thatcher, by pinfall (advance to the next round)

These two were tearing each other apart on NXT, but they’re standing together on 205 Live! Will Ciampa and Thatcher tear their way through the tournament to put their names on the Dusty Cup?


My Thoughts:

A good episode, though with some obvious results. While Gigi Dolin (Priscilla Kelly) and Cora Jade (Elayna Black) are very good wrestlers, they weren’t going to beat The Way, and it says a lot that Indi got the pin for this one. Candice & Indi are among the favorites to win the tournament, and I’m betting on a stellar match between them and KC Squared, Catanzaro & Carter. Gigi & Jade still made a good combination, and their aesthetics match up well, I hope they stick together.

Ciampa & Thatcher becoming a team after their Fight Pit match is a pretty cool way to follow up, and naturally they were going to beat the first team they faced. The OG had good combinations, but Nese and Daivari have been perennial jobbers to the stars even before this. Thatcher & Ciampa take on Undisputed Era next and that is going to be a great match that could go either way. Given the history between Undisputed Era and the current tag team champions, Lorcan & Burch, I give it 51-49, UE wins so that they can get a shot at the champions.

My Score: 8/10


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