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Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Live Report! (5/8/18)

Published

6 years ago

on

SmackDown will address the Backlash low blows!

The first SmackDown after Backlash promises to address the double count-out draw between the Phenomenal One and King of Strong Style in their WWE Championship match. What will GM Paige have to say about the double low blows? Plus, THREE Money in the Bank Qualifiers, featuring The Miz, Daniel Bryan, and Charlotte Flair!

 

All images courtesy of the WWE’s official Twitter

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Men’s Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Jeff Hardy VS The Miz; Miz wins and joins the Men’s MITB Ladder Match.
  • Women’s Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Charlotte Flair VS Peyton Royce w/ Billie Kay; Charlotte wins and joins the Women’s MITB Ladder Match.
  • Cesaro w/ Sheamus VS Xavier Woods w/ The New Day; Cesaro wins.
  • Becky Lynch VS Mandy Rose; Mandy wins.
  • Men’s Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Daniel Bryan VS Rusev w/ Aiden English; Rusev wins and joins the Men’s MITB Ladder Match.

PLAY BY PLAY

SmackDown General Manager, Paige, heads to the ring!

The Glampire believes Backlash was a smashing success where we witnessed the first singles victory for the returning Daniel Bryan! Fans agree, that was good. We saw the surprise victory from Carmella the SmackDown Women’s Champion. And then there’s the WWE Championship and what happened between Shinsuke Nakamura and AJ Styles. The match was going to be an instant classic until both men started using low blows that neither could recover from. Paige didn’t foresee that happening, but she says we’ll hear from both men later on.

As for Money in the Bank, there will be two ladder matches: one for the men, and one for the women, with superstars from both brands. Those who climb up the ladder to grab the briefcases will bring those contracts back to their brands. Therefore, SmackDown needs to put up the best, which brings us to the qualifying matches, starting right now!

 

Men’s Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Jeff Hardy VS The Miz!

The Charismatic Enigma is still WWE United States Champion after vanquishing The Viper, while the A-Lister is NOT the Intercontinental Champion after losing to The Architect. Both are decorated champions, but only one great superstar will make it into the Ladder Match!

The bell rings and the fans are rallying with Hardy. He and Miz circle, tie up, and Hardy gets the headlock. Miz powers out but Hardy runs him over. Miz backs off to a corner while fans cheer for Hardy. Hardy and Miz circle again, fans rallying, and they tie up for Miz to get the waistlock. Hardy gets the standing switch, but Miz switches back to a wristlock. Miz wrenches but Hardy reverses the hold. MIz powers out, but Hardy runs him over and splashes down, TWO. Hardy runs but Miz trips him up. Hardy clubs away on Miz but Miz gets out of the ring. However, Hardy follows for Poetry in Motion! Deja vu to Backlash, and Hardy puts Miz into the ring. Hardy climbs up, takes aim, but Miz scrambles to the opposite corner. Miz catches his breath while we go to break.

SmackDown returns, and Hardy is in control of Miz with arm-drags, into an armlock. Miz gets to his feet and pulls Hardy’s hair. Miz backs Hardy tot he ropes then whips, then arm-drags, but Hardy arm-drags Miz through to an armbar. Hardy wrenches the arm but Miz stands up. Fans rally for Hardy but Miz punches his way out of the hold. Miz punches Hardy more, then whpis again, but Hardy kicks him away. Jawbreaker countered by a knee, then Miz drops Hardy with a boot. Cover, TWO, but Miz keeps his cool. Miz sits Hardy up and drives in a knee, then puts on a chinlock. Fans continue to rally for Hardy, and Hardy stands up. Hardy fights out then throws a hand but Miz counters with the A-List combination! Cover, TWO.

Miz looks up at the briefcase, the goal he is after for a second time. He keeps on Hardy with punches, then back to the knee in the back. Miz pulls on Hardy’s arms while fans duel between them. Hardy endures the half-surfboard, and fights his way out. Miz throws back, but then slips out of the back suplex. Hardy denies the Finale, then runs but Miz throws him out. Miz runs but misses the wrecking ball. Hardy swings again, but Miz lifts and sits Hardy on the barriers. Miz catches his breath while mocking the fans. He swings on Hardy but misses, Hardy headbutts Miz back. Hardy stands, then LEAPS off the barriers!

Both men go down while the ring count climbs up. The count reaches 6 by the time Hardy stands. He put Miz in at 7, then counters punches with punches. Hardy kicks, whips but Miz reverses, only for Hardy to run him over. Atomic drop to takedown, then a leg-splitting leg drop! Dropkick on top, cover, TWO! Hardy keeps his cool, then gets to his feet. He calls for the Twist, then waits for Miz to stand. Hardy kicks, but Miz denies the Twist. Miz goes for a backslide, but Hardy resists. They stand back up, Hardy tries to bring Miz over, but then flips over MIz to hit the Twist of Fate! Hardy hurries to climb up top, but Miz rolls away again. Hardy runs over but Miz kicks him back, then gives him the neckbreaker to the apron!

The referee checks on Hardy while we go picture in picture. Miz catches his breath in the ring, but Hardy is okay to continue. A ten count begins, and reaches five before Hardy stirs. Hardy drags himself up but the count’s at 8. He beats it at 9, and it surprises Miz. Miz thought he had this, so he boots Hardy out of frustration. Cover, TWO, and Miz argues with the ref. Miz runs and boots Hardy again, then again! Cover, TWO, and Miz is furious.

Miz thinks on what to do next while Hardy stands up. Miz runs, misses the third boot, Hardy rolls him pu, TWO, A-Lister lariat in the corner! Now Miz climbs up, jumps and hits the ax handle. He wants his finish, and circles Hardy on the mat. Hardy stirs and slowly stands, but denies the Finale! Miz goes after the legs, but Hardy counters with a small package, TWO! Miz grabs Hardy in a sleeper hold! Hardy fades to a knee while Miz squeezes tight. Hardy feeds off the fans’ energy while we go single picture, and hits the jawbreaker!

Both men are sitting down, catching their breath. Miz hits Hardy, Hardy hits back. They brawl up to their feet, and Hardy gets an edge. Miz swings but misses, into the Russian leg sweep and leg pin, TWO. Miz crawls to ropes but Hardy is upon him. He gets a cheap shot in, then back to the sleeper, but Hardy runs around to pull Miz into buckles. Hardy elbows back, then climbs up, Whisper in the Wind! Cover, TWO! Hardy checks his teeth while Miz stirs. The champion gets the fans fired up, then goes for the twist, but Miz denies it again. Miz ends up on the apron, grabs for the hair, but Hardy hotshots him back. Hardy baseball slide dropkicks Miz to the barriers, then takes aim to slingshots over for a senton!

Fans fire up with Hardy again as he puts Miz back in the ring. Hardy climbs up top, taking off his shirt. He takes aim, but Miz trips him up! Miz climbs up now, but Hardy resists. Hardy hits back with clubbing forearms and sends Miz down with a sunset flip powerbomb! TWO!! Hardy can’t beileve Miz survived that one. Miz rolls his way to a corner again, but fans are loving this match. Hrady comes over, but Miz boots the Hardiac away. Miz runs in, TWIST– Fin– roll up! TWO, but the mule kick from Hardy puts Miz in a corner. Hardy hits the Hardiac Arrest! Hardy keeps going, Twist of Fate! He climbs up once again, with fans firing up with him. Hardy aims, SWANTON BOMB! Cover, TWO!? GHOST PIN, MIZ WINS!!

Winner: The Miz, by pinfall; qualifies for the Men’s MITB

What a twist ending from the A-Lister! Miz returns to the Money in the Bank Ladder Match, which he has won before. Will the sequel be better than the original with a win over Finn Balor, Braun Strowman and five other top superstars?

 

The Bar meets backstage.

Sheamus is eating Lucky Charms to cheer him up after his loss last week. Cesaro thought he had him, too, but then Xavier Woods slipped through his claws. It was those darn Muppets, Kofi and Big E, outside the ring. It’s always 3v2 with The New Day. Though Cesaro feels he would’ve done better. Really? Really? Then try facing Woods tonight and see! Cesaro accepts, because no one makes the fool out of The Bar. Wait, waht’s in Cesaro’s bags? PANCAKES!? That’s not funny, Sheamus. Because now there’s pancakes in HIS bag! Will the New Day pay for this pancake prank?

 

SAnitY is coming.

And they’re bring CHAOS!! Will SmackDown be prepared for the Merchant of Mayhem, the Beast of Belfast and the Ax Man?

 

Backstage interview with Shinsuke Nakamura.

The King of Strong Style is not cleared for competition after last night’s match. Is the issue between him and Styles over? “No. Speak English.” We all know he speaks English, that’s not going to work. Yes he did speak English, but he forgot how. Then is there anything he would like to say while he IS speaking English? “AJ Styles nuts. But so am I. We are not finished.” In that case, when will he and the champion settle this championship grudge?

 

Carmella speaks.

“I beat Charlotte Flair!” She beat Charlotte Flair, again! Now it’s party time! But, not in a city like Baltimore, ew. Carmella will go to London, and next week it’ll be a #RoyalMellabration. And the Royal Family isn’t invited. And neither is Ric Flair, or his daughter, who she beat!

 

Superstars speak on MITB.

Imagine this: seven superstars down, one ladder, one man standing and one MITB briefcase. Tye Dillinger knows that may not add up to a championship, but that does add up to a perfect 10. Naomi meanwhile says that she won the inaugural Wrestlemania Women’s Battle Royal and was a former champion. She vows to climb up and snatch down the contract to then snatch the champion bald, whoever she may be.

 

Women’s Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Charlotte Flair VS Peyton Royce w/ Billie Kay!

While The Princess of Staten Island did beat The Queen of Flair fair and square, the former champion has a chance here tonight to make her way back. Can Charlotte get payback on the IIconics who cost her the title in the first place, and then climb a ladder to be the #QueenintheBank?

Billie & Peyton say that while Charlotte loss, she is still an inspiration. Billie’s uncle has always had a horrible stutter, but seeing the look on Charlotte’s face after losing, it sent him into hysterical laughter! He laughed an hour straight, tears streaming down his face while he fell off the couch. But it also cured his stutter! So Billie thanks Charlotte for that. Because that look, “the pain, the agony”, they want to bottle it and make it a fragrance. “Disappointed by Charlotte.” Peyton can imitate that. Oh come on, she’s not that good. Peyton tries, but it’s only funny when Charlotte does it. Then how about Peyton makes Charlotte do that face again now! That MITB contract belongs to the future, and #TheFutureisIIconic.

Peyton enters the ring, the match begins, and she circles with Charlotte. Fans “WOO~” for Charlotte as she ties up with the Venus Flytrap, then powers her to a corner. Charlotte gives Peyton a swift shot, then dares Peyton to come back for more. Peyton goes from one corner to another while Billie checks on her. Charlotte catches Peyton into a waistlock and slam, then brings her up for another. Peyton elbows her way out, then kicks, but Charlotte spins her around for a chop! Charlotte scoops Peyton for the exploder! Fans rally for Charlotte while she throws Peyton out and we go to break.

SmackDown returns, and now Charlotte is down on the ground outside the ring. Peyton drags Charlotte up and into the ring while Billie cheers her own. Peyton puts Charlotte in a chinlock and thrashes about. Fans rally for Charlotte as she endures. Charlotte works her way up and jawbreakers out of the hold. Peyton blocks the chop, then slips out of the suplex, to throw Charlotte head first into buckles! She then drags Charlotte to a cover, TWO, and Billie is furious for her. Peyton hammers away on Charlotte, then bumps her off a buckle before grinding her boot right into Charlotte’s chin. Billie cheers while Peyton uses ropes for her modified motorcycle stretch. Peyton lets go at 4, then stalks Charlotte. She drives in a knee, then bounces Charlotte off the mat. Peyton drops elbows, then puts on another chinlock.

Fans rally for Charlotte again while she endures. Charlotte stands up but Peyton hits her first. Peyton whips but Charlotte kicks her back, then hits a neckbreaker. Charlotte catches her breath while Peyton holds her head. Both women slowly stand, then Peyton swings but Charlotte counters with foerarms. Charlotte gives more and more forearms, but Peyton knees low. Peyton whips but Charlotte reverses, then chops Peyton! Charlotte chops and chops again, and again, and again, dropping Peyton down.

The fans fire up while Chalrotte struts and chops Peyton down again. Charlotte stalks Peyton, then goes to boot, but Peyton dodges. Peyton kicks but misses, Charlotte rolls her up with the bridge, TWO. Charlotte gives Peyton a big back suplex, then kips up! Charlotte grabs the legs but Billie saves Peyton, only for Charlotte to slingshot down on Billie! Peyton hits a neckbreaker on Charlotte! A ring count begins, and Peyton drags Charlotte up and in. Peyton covers, TWO, and she’s furious. Charlotte elbows her away, then again. Billie hotshots Charlotte, Peyton heel kicks! Cover, TWO!? The IIconics are furious, and Billie argues with the referee. Peyton stands up and goes after Charlotte with a knee, but Charlotte rolls her up, TWO. Charlotte dodges in the corner, and boots Peyton down!

Fans fire up while Charlotte climbs. Charlotte MOONSAULTS, but onto Peyton’s knees! Small package, TWO! Peyton hits a knee, covers, TWO! The IIconics are at a loss for how Charlotte is still in this. Peyton glances at the briefcase while standing up. She stalks Charlotte, then brings her up. Fans rally for Charlotte, and Charlote reverses into a SPEAR! Cover, TWO, and now Charlotte grows frustrated. She goes for the legs, but Peyton rolls her, TWO. Charlotte rolls again, TWO, into the Figure Four! And Figure Eight! Peyton taps out, Charlotte wins!

Winner: Charlotte, by submission; qualifies for the Women’s MITB

The Queen gets back on track with this win, and enters the second-ever Women’s Money in the Bank Ladder match. Can Charlotte take that contract and get sweet revenge on the inaugural Ms. MITB with her own cash-in?

 

Backstage interview with Daniel Bryan.

Has he had time to recover from Big Cass’ sore loser attack? Well let’s not forget why Cass attacked him: Bryan made Cass tap out. But as for tonight, Bryan is a former Mr. MITB, and he cashed in here in Baltimore. Bryan will fight, will climb up, and prove that the bigger they are, the faster they tap. Can Bryan beat the Bulgarian Lion to enter this year’s Money in the Bank match?

 

More superstars speak on MITB.

The Gold Standard, Shelton Benjamin, made this match famous, so he vows to finally win the opportunity no one is giving him. His highlights are all over this match type, and the best is yet to come. As for the Empress of Tomorrow, Asuka wants to climb up, grab the contract, and cash in on Carmella. “No one is ready for Asuka”, and certainly not armed with that briefcase.

 

Cesaro w/ Sheamus VS Xavier Woods w/ The New Day!

Awwwww, Baltimore~! The brains of the outfit beat the Celtic Gladiator last week, with some help from his friends. Will the Swiss Cyborg have better luck that his teammate? Or will The Bar be swept by the Power of Positivity?

The bell rings and Woods circles with Cesaro. They tie up, Woods gets the waistlock and headlock, but Cesaro reverses Woods to toy with him. The fans chant “We Want Pancakes!” which only annoys Sheamus & Cesaro. Big E makes it rain flapjacks, but then Cesaro swipes at him to stop. Woods goes after Cesaro but the ropes are in the way. Cesaro then slips around to tie up with Woods. Woods still gets a headlock but Cesaro reverses it. Woods powers out but Cesaro runs him over. Cesaro says “No Pancakes!” then runs, but Woods leaps up. Cesaro catches him but Woods slips around to a waistlock. Woods is bucked off but runs back, dodges, then tilt-o-whirl headscissors Cesaro down!

Woods goes after Cesaro in a corner with body shots, but Cesaro turns things around. Cesaro honors the break, for a second. Woods fires back on him, but Cesaro shoves him at the ref to clobber him in the back! The Bar boast while Woods writhes at the ropes. Cesaro deadlift gutwrenches Woods and throws him! We go picture in picture while Cesaro stalks Woods. The New Day coach Woods up, but Cesaro is upon him. Cesaro grabs some pancakes that were lying around, and crumbles them up! He tosses the crumbs, but WOods fires back with haymakers. Woods runs, but into a big flapjack from Cesaro! Cesaro covers, TWO, so he drags Woods over to choke him on the ropes. Sheamus takes a selfie with that, but Big E backs him off.

Cesaro keeps on woods, but Woods chops and body shots back. Cesaro knees low, then gives body shots of his own. He brings Woods out for more, then wrenches the arm. Cesaro whips and catches Woods into an abdominal stretch. He grinds an elbow into Woods’ ribs, but Woods endures. We return to single picture as fans rally for Woods. Woods fights out, but Cesaro hits back. They brawl with chops back and forth, then Cesaro hits a right jab. Woods kicks back, then kicks a leg out to knee Cesaro in the head. Woods runs in but Cesaro puts him on the apron. A kick sends Cesaro reeling, then Woods slingshots for a springboard kick!

Cover, TWO, and Sheamus is relieved. The fans rally again, and Woods powers up. He runs but Cesaro rolls to the apron. Cesaro hotshots WOods away, then lifts, but Woods slips out. Woods hops for the wheelbarrow, but Cesaro shove shim away. Woods keeps moving, wheelbarrow facebuster! Cover, TWO! The New Day keep coaching Woods, and Woods makes his way to a corner. Woods climbs up but Sheamus distracts. Woods chases him off, but Cesaro rolls up! Feet on the ropes but Kofi stops that! Woods rolls, TWO, Shining Wizard! Sheamus protests while Woods climbs, but Big E uses pancakes to get Sheamus’ attention. Sheamus jumps at Big E, misses, Kofi LEAPS and takes Sheamus out! Woods finally takes aim and springboards, but into a big European Uppercut! Cover, Cesaro wins!

Winner: Cesaro, by pinfall

The numbers game goes the wrong way for the New Day, and now they’re even with The Bar in singles competition. Woods is 1-1, how will Kofi and Big E fair against Cesaro & Sheamus?

 

Backstage interview with AJ Styles.

The Phenomenal One still has a major welt from Backlash’s championship match. He’s not cleared to compete, either, and knows Nakamura said they’re not done. Styles admits he sank to Nakamura’s level. He doesn’t want to fight like that, but he will if the title is on the line. How convenient Nakamue now speaks English again. Styles doesn’t’ care when, why or where, but if Nakamura has the… guts to fight him again, Styles will finish him. This is the House that AJ Styles Built, what will he do to defend it?

 

A twisted scene of broken WWE action figures…

The teams of the SmackDown Tag Team Division, namely. The Bludgeon Brothers say they have their own toys. “So please, come play with us.” “We’re waiting.” TO DESTROY! Who will step up to the SmackDown Tag Team Champions and face their own personal doomsday?

 

Becky Lynch VS Mandy Rose!

The duo formerly with Paige in Absolution must now strike out on their own without her help. Mandy says that she and Sonya can be in the MITB match, but then the Glampire comes over. Remember, Absolution is dead. Yes, they know, but they realize that Paige isn’t their mommy. She can desert them, but they will never break up. Then that’s awkward to bring this up… Sonya, you’re barred from ringside. What?! Does God’s Greatest Creation have what it takes to take on the Lass Kicker alone?

The bell rings, and Mandy ties up with Becky. She gets the waistlock but Becky throws her off. Becky dares the rookie to bring it, then arm-drags Mandy out of the ring. Mandy takes her time regrouping, but Becky is right on her. Mandy rocks Becky with a right, then puts Becky in a corner for a mudhole stomp. She whips Becky corner to corner then drops her with a dropkick. Mandy stalks Becky and hits the big knee strike, cover, TWO. Mandy keeps on Becky with a thrashing chinlock, but fans rally for the inaugural SmackDown Women’s Champion. Becky stands up and fights out, but Mandy throws her down by her hair.

Mandy taunts Becky then gives another strong right, but Becky gives as good as she gets. Becky gets an edge, then brings Mandy to the mat. Mandy slips away to the ropes, but still gets thrown with a Becksploder! Becky hits the jump kick but Mandy throws her into the ropes, roll up, Mandy wins?!

Winner: Mandy, by pinfall

Whether that was beginner’s luck, Becky being in a slump, or a legitimate upset, a win is a win. Can the golden half of the duo formerly known as Absolution earn herself a chance at the MITB match?

 

Men’s Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Daniel Bryan VS Rusev w/ Aiden English!

The Goat won his return-to-PPV match at Backlash, but Big “bully” Cass beat him down for it. Will the Goat still have enough to defeat the Bulgarian Lion and make his return to Money in the Bank?

MC Artiste, Aiden English, already has the fans chanting for “Rusev Day! Rusev Day!” Baltimore~, more like Balti-less, cuz Orioles and Ravens don’t impress. But don’t stress, will Bryan win? No, DB will wish he was still GM, and when the Lion climbs the ladder, you’ll know that today is… RUSEV DAAAAAAY~~!

The bell rings and Rusev circles with Bryan. They tie up while fans duel, and Bryan rolls to wristlock Rusev. Bryan wrenches the arm into a hammerlock, but Rusev elbows out. Rusev runs to run Bryan over, but then things speed up and Bryan toeholds Rusev into half the surfboard. Bryan goes for the arms, but instead stomps those knees. Bryan kicks out an arm, then starts up kicks on the shoulder. Rusev is reeling while Bryan grabs his arm again. Bryan wrenches but Rusev scoops and slams! Rusev kicks Bryan but Bryan gets to ropes. Bryan dumps Rusev out of the ring, then builds speed, to DIVE! But Rusev catches and tosses Bryan over the desk! The Bulgarian Brute is in control while we go to break.

SmackDown returns, and Rusev suplexes Bryan up and over. Rusev takes his time while the fans duel between “Rusev Day!” and “Let’s go Bryan!” He even toys with Bryan in a corner. He whips Bryan corner to corner, but Bryan goes up and over to then build speed and run Rusev over with a lariat! Bryan fires up while Rusev gets to a corner. Fans chant “YES! YES!” while he runs in for a dropkick. He keeps going, for a second dropkick. Bryan kicks away on Rusev, then lifts him up to the top. Bryan climbs up, throws punches, then hits a SUPER Steiner! Fans continue to chant “YES! YES!” while Bryan stands back up.

Bryan goes over to Rusev and gives his YES Kicks. Kick after kick, then the buzzsaw misses. Rusev trips Bryan but Bryan slips away, only to be caught. Rusev swings but Bryan rolls him up, TWO. Roundhouse from Rusev! Cover, TWO, and English is frustrated for Rusev. Fans duel again, but Rusev stands up and says, “Rusev! MACHKA!” He stomps Bryan, then prepares the Accolade, but his bad wrists stop him. He can’t put on his hold, but Bryan brings him down for his! YES Lock, but ropebreak. Bryan lets go, and the two stand up. Rusev swings, misses, and Bryan retaliates with a kick. Bryan kicks and kicks, but Rusev kicks back. Rusev German Suplex but Bryan lands on his feet for the buzzsaw! Rusev goes down, and Bryan fires up with “YES! YES!”

English bails Rusev out, but Bryan just runs and wrecks them both with the dropkick! Then he aims at Rusev, Meteora off the apron! Bryan puts Rusev in the ring, then climbs up top, for the missile dropkick! Bryan is sore himself, but he still kips up. He takes aim at Rusev from the corner, everyone chanting “YES! YES!” with him. Bryan runs, but into a pop-up knee! Rusev MACHKA Kick! Cover, Rusev wins!!

Winner: Rusev, by pinfall; qualifies for the Men’s MITB

The Lion slays the Goat, and is now going to make the match a RUSEV in the Bank Ladder Match! Will Rusev Day triumph and grab that contract? And who else will join him, Jeff Hardy, Finn Balor and Braun Strowman as the weeks go by? As for Bryan, fans still love him, even if he lost. Bryan hoped he’d make another great run towards the top, so where does he go from here?

 

 

My Thoughts:

As Raw did last night, SmackDown did great in making up for Backlash while transitioning to MITB. Though I’m a little disappointed we still haven’t seen SAnitY or Almas yet, but maybe their debuts next week will have major impact on the PPV. We do get a great opener in Hardy VS Miz, and that was an amazing surprise for Miz to win that way. Miz is proving that while he isn’t the best technical wrestler, he is definitely deserving of the world title scene. Carmella’s celebration next week will surely be interrupted by any number of the women who will join the MITB match. And Charlotte-IIconics is a great match in itself, and Charlotte winning could set up a great story of karma, with Carmella losing the title because of Charlotte cashing in.

Woods-Cesaro is a great match, and they did great to book Cesaro winning as a surprise. Now we get a tag team match where the winning team sends one person to the Men’s MITB match. New Day winning would be crazy if they somehow decide to Free Bird Rules the briefcase to then Free Bird Rules the singles title they take. At the same time, The Bar might not be so willing to do that, and this could lead to a potential break up. I did NOT see Becky losing so quickly to Mandy. This losing streak of hers could be a way to turn her without any particular superstar to go after.

Rusev winning was another big surprise, but it makes sense when A) he’s super over, and B) Bryan can’t risk a concussion in that ladder match. Plus, Bryan might still have Cass to worry about, the same way Styles still has Nakamura to get through. They have time to build the WWE Championship match up even more, which is good because Nakamura is a genius for “not knowing English.” I hope that when the time comes, the decision is either a Last Man Standing match or a Ladder match of their own, so that there is one true winner in the end.

My Score: 8.5/10


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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 4.18.2024

Motor City Machine Guns either go out on their backs, or head to Rebellion as champs! Lets see how they finish their current run in TNA!

Published

2 hours ago

on

April 18, 2024

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No burying the lead here! The Main Event is The System versus Motor City Machine Guns, and it’s the Go Home episode before Rebellion! So we’re guaranteed a damn good tag match, and we should get either new wrinkles, or ways to keep the storylines cooking going into the Pay-per-View.

With all the rumors and innuendo about the Guns being on their way out, I think we all assume that MCMG is losing, but my inner fanboy is still excited.

Ratings:

  • Little Guido w/New FBI vs Hammerstone: Hammerstone wins via Torture Rack – SQUASH
  • LSG vs Joe Hendry: Hendry wins via Standing Ovation – SQUASH
  • Mustafa Ali & GYV vs Cody Deaner, Jake Something & Rhyno: Ali wins via 450 Splash – ** 3/4
  • Rosemary w/Havok vs Jody Threat w/Dani Luna: Rosemary wins via Spear – ***
  • Motor City Machine Guns (Chris Sabin & Alex Shelley) vs The System (Eddie Edwards & Brian Myers) w/Alisha Edwards: System wins via Roster Cut + Knee Party – *** 1/4

 

Results:

So we kick off the match with Josh coming out to commentary again to watch Hammerstone’s match. They really need a new way to try and keep heat without reusing the same tired gimmick of “ring side seat” to a Squash match.

Little Guido w/New FBI vs Hammerstone

Guido tries to shoot the half, but Hammerstone shrugs him off, lifts him like a child and runs him into a corner, few short shots and then just tosses him across the ring. Hammer gets a little distracted talking smack to Josh and eats a foot, but then tosses Guido with the ole Sack of Shit move and keeps working over Guido.

Hammer shoves Clayton, and provokes him to push him back right in front of the referee. She ejects them, Guido tries to take advantage but when he goes for the pinfall Hammer kicks out immediately and presses Guido out of thing through the ropes. Continues to dog walk Guido, puts the head gear on the ECW Original and then Torture Racks him while staring directly at Josh, and of course picks up the submission victory.

LSG vs Joe Hendry

Hendry cuts a little promo, mentioning the Fat Uncle Phil joke…something about shopping at the TOP Dollar Store. Solid mic work.

LSG is a damn good local talent, he’s been seen in ROH and AEW in the past (perhaps others, but that’s what comes to mind immediately for me), but we all know this is an enhancement match. A few nice chain wrestling spots early, but Hendry uses his power to stop the smaller wrestler, Sack of Shit into Standing Ovation and the match is over quickly.

Mustafa Ali & GYV vs Cody Deaner, Jake Something & Rhyno

Well okay, having Deaner ask the crowd if they wanted a 3v2 or their third member…RHYNO…is pretty much a no brainer in Philly. But at least the gimmick isn’t quite as cringe as I expected.

Jake starts with Zack Gibson and throws him around. Jake goes for the tag and Deaner asks the crowd who Jake should tag, and the crowd picks Rhyno. Rhyno Whips Gibson into a corner, Drake actually softens the impact, allowing Gibson to fire back, tag out, but Rhyno levels both GYV members and then even knocks Ali off the apron. Rhyno tries to call to the crowd to tag in Deaner and that goes over like a fart in church. He tags him in anyway, and the crowd is kinda dead and doing whatever it wants after the obvious ECW chants when Rhyno tagged in.

GYV take a couple lumps but they of course start to work over Deaner and capture some momentum. Solid tandem work from GYV, they cut off Deaner from making a tag and goad Jake a little to cause the ref to block off the babyfaces so the heels can take a few shortcuts. Cody eventually makes the tag to Rhyno, hot tag, he tries to set up the Gore but the GYV manage to stop him in his tracks and hit an Enzuigiri to daze the Man Beast, he falls to his corner and Jake tags himself in. Jake literally runs them all over, tags in Cody and Launches him from the Top Rope into Zack Gibson. Ali makes the save and Jake tries to get his hands on Ali, but the GYV keep throwing themselves at him, literally. The triple team finally gets the best of Jake, they hit 3 Dives and then post Jake, so they gather around Cody like hyenas.

They forgot about Rhyno, he’s set up for a Gore, he Gores Drake, Gibson and Ali take out Rhyno, but then Cody starts to fight back. Ali stops Deaner’s offense with an Avalanche Sunset Bomb, then hits his 450 Splash. Jake barely misses being able to break up the pin.

Rosemary w/Havok vs Jody Threat w/Dani Luna

Jody tries to start quickly with Shoulder Tackles, Lariats and Scoop Slams, and it does seem somewhat effective. Rosemary is having trouble finding offense against the intensity, but she keeps kicking out. Shotgun Dropkick finally gives Rosemary an opening, she goes into full mount and rains down strikes. Rosemary shoves Jody into a corner and Bites her in the corner. Jody tries to fight out, they go across and Rosemary catches her with the legs and puts her in the Upside Down. Splash in the corner from Rosemary, Exploder Suplex and Jody is eating a lot of offense.

Rosemary looks like she’s caught after she gets tripped up into the ropes and Jody goes for her Rope Knee into the German, but Rosemary dodges. Rosemary hits her own suplex and pulls out a beautiful Last Chancery! I haven’t seen her do that in a long time. Jody manages to fight to the ropes, Rosemary is a little slow to capitalize and eats a Pump Kick. Rosemary goes flying into the ropes, Jody hits the Double Knees into the German this time for 2, and they trade a few haymakers after that. Jody folds Rosemary with a low Lariat, Zombie rise spot a few times, Jody goes for a pinfall and Rosemary kicks out.

Havok jumps up on the apron, Dani meets her and they decide to step down, but the distraction was enough. Jody turns around and eats a Spear. Rosemary wins!

Motor City Machine Guns (Chris Sabin & Alex Shelley) vs The System (Eddie Edwards & Brian Myers) w/Alisha Edwards

Eddie and Shelley start off, and its a very simple slow start. Mostly an early stalemate, the typical Japanese style the TNA seem to love to employ. Starters tag out, but then Shelley with the blind tag, Sabin Baseball Slides out, picks Eddie’s ankle and sends his face bouncing off the apron, while Shelley sneaks up being Myers and they hit a tandem move before we cut to commercial. Off of the commercial it looks like Eddie and Myers regained control. But a nice Jawbreaker from Shelley sends Eddie falling back into the MCMG corner. Dragon Screws to both legs from Sabin and Shelley, and we get the Dragon Screw dissection spot for the Guns.

Myers gets sick of things, tries to get involved, but Simultaneous Figure Fours from the MCMG makes The System look silly. Alisha does the classic “push the rope forward” gimmick to assist Eddie in breaking the hold. She keeps chirping at Shelley until she finally grabs his foot. Shelley doesn’t take kindly, tries to grab her by the hair but she gets away, Shelley eats a strike and falls back to the ropes so Lish can just throttle him with the rope, Sabin walks over and acts like he’s going to PK her and the look of disgust on her face is hilarious, like “how dare he threaten to kick her”. Would I be mad is Masha decides to team with Lish and they win the Knockouts Tag titles? No, because the Knockouts Tags are trash. But I still prefer Lish as valet/manager.

Shelley starts fighting back after another commercial break, Eddie tries to cut him off, but Sabin clocks Eddie and Shelley manages to make the tag and Sabin comes in. Lights up both System members, Kick off Tornado DDT, into a Running Gamengiri. Eddie tries to counter but Shelley assists, tandem strikes, Double Baseball Slide into the classic MCMG spot 5 Hole Dive! Keeping up with the classics Shelley stacks the System members on each other and hit the Missile Dropkick/Flatliner spot. As the Guns are rolling, Sabin accidentally catches Sabin with his foot and The System take control! They hit their pieces of the System Overload spot, but Sabin kicks out. Roster Cut attempt from Myers, but Shelley is back. High Speed Dirt, Machine Gun Sandwich, but Lish grabs Shelley’s foot when they’re setting up Skull and Bones. Shelley gets dropped on the turnbuckle and thrown out, Sabin eats the Roster Cut followed up with Boston Knee Party and System retains!

Its a little weird to have had the two commercial cuts and the fact there’s still Nic Nemeth to follow. So it feels a little flat, I hope this wasn’t their swan song match, because it was nice to see some classic spots, but it was entirely too abbreviated. 

Nemeth comes out, goes into the crowd and finds a kid with a kendo stick and borrows a beer from someone, so he does a bit of a Sandman tribute. Moose cuts off his promo basically immediately. He throws out the “can’t beat the system” line again, and Nic rolls with the punches well. Moose uses a few cute analogies about Nic having a failure laden past, but Nemeth bites back and its really damn good. He says he can see it in Moose’s eyes that he thinks he’s getting in the ring with Dolph Ziggler, but no, there is no more old Dolph Ziggler, just the new Nic Nemeth. And Moose’s cool seems to be slightly shaken after those words. Good promo.

Overall Score: 6.5/10

So this was okay, if it didn’t end as strongly as it did, I would’ve rated this much lower. Two squash matches in the beginning, reusing the Josh comes out to the announce table to watch trope is boring, hell even Clayton’s shove to Hammerstone was super lame looking. The Deaner match was luke warm at best, but things picked up around the Rosemary match.

Lets also not overlook the segments with ASH & Xia, Jonathan Gresham’s whole deal and EY having to return to the violence/sickness/world class maniac, whatever you want to call it, were all great building blocks. This definitely wasn’t what I would call a strong Go Home, but it didn’t hurt things for Rebellion. The whole injury of Cardona was addressed, which honestly sounded weird since Jordynne basically said she was expecting them to have a backup plan so she has a backup plan. I don’t really like how that video package came across.

But who knows, all I know is, this wasn’t an awful episode, it just wasn’t really strong either.  Here’s to hoping Rebellion Saturday is still strong.


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Mitchell’s ROH Results & Report! (4/18/24)

Time to Man Up!

Published

5 hours ago

on

April 18, 2024

By

Will the Ivy League MVP earn a title shot?

The NEW ROH World Champion, Mark Briscoe, is here to step onto the Proving Ground with one of Maria Kanellis’ baby boys, Griff Garrison! Will Griff make Maria proud? Or will he reach for the sky?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Bryan Keith VS Aaron Solo; Keith wins.
  • Six Man Tag: Lance Archer & The Righteous VS Jon Cruz, Savion Truitt & Damian Chambers; Archer & The Righteous win.
  • Lee Johnson VS JD Drake; Lee wins.
  • Abadon VS Allysin Kay; wins.
  • The Infantry VS The Iron Savages w/Jacked Jameson; win(s).
  • The Dark Order VS ???
  • Six Woman Tag: Diamante, Leila Grey & Taya Valkyrie VS Kiera Hogan, Leyla Hirsch & Trish Adora; win.
  • Lady Frost VS Marti Belle; wins.
  • The Beast Mortos VS Nick Comoroto; wins.
  • ROH World Championship Proving Ground Match: Mark Briscoe VS Griff Garrison w/ Cole Karter & Maria Kanellis; wins and

PLAY BY PLAY

Mark Briscoe speaks.

“Now House of Black, I’ve been doing this dance with y’all a little while now, and I’m starting to understand how y’all operate. Starting to understand y’all’s M-O. You try to intimidate me. You try to strike fear into the hearts of men. Well I done told you, I fear no man, I fear no evil. And ancient wisdom says the violent take it by force. Now lemme tell you, Eddie Kingston, Adam Copeland, and Mark Briscoe, we some violent men! And at Dynasty, we bringing the violence, babeh! So heed my advice, House of Black! Be afraid, be very afraid!” The Sussex County Chicken is ready for a fight, will he, the Rated R Superstar and Mad King tear down The House of Black once and for all?

 

Bryan Keith VS Aaron Solo!

The Bounty Hunter is still looking for a prize, but he’ll gladly fight to earn his shot. Will Keith be heading for a golden opportunity on the other side of Dynasty? Or will Solo shoot first?

The Code of Honor is upheld with sarcastic enthusiasm by Solo, and Keith shoves him away. The bell rings and Solo SLAPS Keith! Keith TACKLES Solo and rains down fists! The fans  fire up, Solo gets away then knees Keith low. Solo ROCKS Keith, whips him to a corner, but Keith comes back to run Solo over! Keith scoops to SLAM Solo, then stands on Solo’s face! The fans fire up for the KNEE DROP! Keith then SLAPS Solo! The fans rally for “BK! BK!” Solo storms up but Keith kicks low. Keith reels Solo in, suplexes, and he holds Solo up! Keith marches around, then SLAMS Solo down! Solo bails out and the fans fire up as Keith aims.

Keith builds speed, slides, but Solo ducks! Solo sends Keith into steel steps! The fans boo as Solo leaves Keith behind. The ring count starts, fans chant “SOLO SUCKS! SOLO SUCKS!” Solo counts along but wants it to go faster. Keith stands at 8 of 20, slides in, but Solo stomps and HAMMERS away! The fans boo more, but Solo stands Keith up to bump him off buckles. Keith CHOPS in return! Then CHOPS again! The fans “WOO~,” then Keith ROCKS Solo with a forearm. Keith CHOPS in the corner, but then Solo dodges. Solo tries but Keith dodges the chop to CHOP Solo down! The fans fire up while Solo is stinging.

Keith whips Solo, Solo reverses and CLOBBERS Keith! Cover, TWO! Keith grits his teeth but Solo knees him in the back! And again! The fans rally, Solo taunts them, and then ELBOWS Keith in the head. Solo stalks Keith to a corner, digs his boots in, but again the fans chant “SOLO SUCKS!” Solo stomps away on Keith, digs his boots in again, but Keith fights up! The fans fire up as Keith fires forearms! Keith fires forearms again and again and again, winds up, but Solo dodges! Solo comes back, but Keith ROCKS him after all! The fans fire up as Keith runs in to BOOT! Solo sputters, Keith runs, but then Solo SUPERKICKS! Keith just roars!

Solo swings, but into a T-BONE SUPLEX! Cover, TWO! The fans rally as Keith keeps calm. Keith waits on Solo as fans rally behind him. Solo staggers into a fireman’s carry, but he fights free! Solo shoves, goes to a corner, but then Keith comes back. Solo ELBOWS Keith, whips, but Keith reverses! Solo goes up but gets caught, for an USHIGOROSHI! Cover, TWO! The fans rally up again as Keith slashes his throat and aims his finger gun! Keith underhooks, but Solo fights the lift! Solo back drops, Keith sunset flips but Solo stays up to DOUBLE STOMP! Solo then runs up, catches Keith and hits a T-BONE! Cover, TWO!

The fans fire up but Solo hurries to a corner. Solo climbs fast, and DIVING DOUBLE STOMPS! Cover, TWO!! Keith survives that coup de grace and Solo isn’t sure what to do. Solo kicks Keith around, drags him up and reels him in to underhook. Keith fight that lift, Solo CLUBS away on him, but Keith Alabama Lifts! Solo grabs ropes so Keith lets him down, and ENZIGIRIS! But Solo SCREW HIGH KICKS! Solo goes up top, but Keith RISING HEADBUTTS! The fans fire up with Keith and he climbs! Keith reels Solo in, for DIAMOND DUST!! Cover, Keith wins!

Winner: Bryan Keith, by pinfall

A big win for BK! And he gives back that sarcastic handshake. Will the Bounty Hunter be hot on the trail of a championship after AEW & ROH pass through the Gateway City?

 

Mark Sterling speaks.

“If you ask AI to create the perfect professional wrestler, it wouldn’t even come close to you. If wrestling is a body business, then you’re a multinational corporation. Biology defying symmetry, no fat, all muscle, no waste. As functional as you are aesthetic. High-flying? You got it. Ground ‘n’ pound? You got that, too. Striking, brawling, submission, technical, there is not a single style you have not perfected. For the last 20 years, you’ve been one of the most consistent and proficient wrestling specimens for any company that’s been willing to throw money at you and begged you to stay. And now, it’s time for them to beg for mercy.

“You are Tony Nese, and you are a Premier Athlete.”

Now Mark Sterling & The Premier Athletes are here in person.

They stand backstage, Sterling’s guys in matching tracksuits, and he says the last time he looked into the camera, he told everyone he had a plan. The very next day, they enacted that plan. Sterling took them off the road, they entered a professional fight camp. They got the best coaches, best trainers, best doctors, and these three started to do what they do best: go to work. Supercard of Honor, against two former ROH TV Champions, PA got an impressive victory. Fruits of their labor. Ariya Daivari is back better than ever. Josh Woods is bigger and better than he was when he won the National Championship. And Tony Nese is in the best shape of his life, which is saying something.

In fact, what’re we even talking about? These three are the most underappreciated athletes in the company. They walk like stars, they move like stars, they present themselves like stars, and by the end of this year, they will be champions. Supercard was just phase one of this plan. Phase two… starts tonight. Then just what happens when the Premier Athletes start making moves?

 

Lee Johnson VS JD Drake!

Even though he lost at Supercard, Big Shotty stays positive! He got close to the ROH World Television Championship, will he get back there for another shot? Or will Scrap Metal be another speedbump in Lee’s momentum?

The Code of Honor is upheld, the bell rings, and the fans rally as the two circle. They tie up, JD HIP TOSSES, and Lee scrambles to ropes. JD flexes and fans cheer, which surprises JD. Lee gets up, he and JD reset. They tie up, JD arm-drags, but Lee gets up. Lee keeps calm while JD talks some smack. They circle, tie up again, and JD scoops! JD carries Lee around, with one arm! Then SLAM! JD dusts off his hands and the fans fire up more. Lee is a bit frustrated, but he fires himself up. The fans rally with him, he and JD circle to tie up. Lee goes to hip toss, but JD blocks! JD tells Lee he knows that’s not gonna work!

JD goes to hip toss but now Lee blocks! Lee arm-drags, then he goes to feint, but JD blocks with a headlock. Lee shoves JD, tries another arm-drag, but JD blocks that. JD whips Lee, Lee ducks ‘n’ dodges and arm-drags again! The fans fire up as Lee tries to scoop, but JD’s too hefty! JD SLAPS Lee, ROCKS him, then whips him to ropes. Lee ducks ‘n’ dodges again, shoves JD and hurdles! Lee drops, then DROPKICKS! JD staggers to a corner, Lee fires up, and the fans fire up with him! Lee runs up on JD in a corner to CHOP! JD barely flinches! JD puts his arms back and dares Lee to try again. Lee CHOPS, but JD puts Lee in the corner!

JD swings, Lee dodges and CHOPS! And CHOPS! And CHOPS! Lee whips, JD reverses but Lee ELBOWS back! Lee runs up but into a lift, and FLAPJACK off buckles! Lee falls, the fans rally up, and JD dusts himself off. JD storms back up on Lee, brings him up, and the fans rally. JD ROCKS Lee, stands him up in the corner, and CHOPS! The fans “WOO~!” while Lee sputters. The fans want that “One More Time!” so JD stands Lee up. JD winds up, to JAB! The fans boo JD trolling them, but JD stands Lee up to CHOP him after all! Lee is stinging, but JD brings him up. Lee throws body shots but JD ROCKS Lee!

JD whips, Lee sunset flips! JD stays up, but Lee avoids the hip drop! Ghost pin, TWO! JD gets up, kicks low and whips, to SPINEBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Lee stays in this and the fans rally up. JD sits Lee up, KICKS him in the back, then paces around. The fans rally for Lee but JD pie faces him around. Lee rises, JD brings him up and Lee CHOPS! And CHOPS! And CHOPS again! JD throat chops! The ref reprimands, JD claims he jabbed to the chest. JD then scoops and SLAMS Lee, to then FALLING HEADBUTT! Cover, TWO! Lee is still in this but JD CHOKES him! The ref counts, JD lets off, claiming he was just checking the pulse.

JD clamps on a chinlock, digging his knee into Lee’s back. Lee endures, the fans rally up, and Lee fights to his feet. Lee throws body shots, but JD knees low! JD suplexes but Lee slips free! Lee ROCKS JD, ROCKS him again, but JD CHOPS! JD runs, but Lee SUPERKICKS! JD flops out of the ring and the fans fire up! The fans rally as Lee builds speed, to FLY! Direct hit at the ramp and the fans fire up even more! Lee puts JD in, climbs a corner, and JD stands. JD staggers around, into the CROSSBODY! Cover, TWO! JD stays in this but then bails back out. Lee thinks on what he has to do and the fans rally up.

Lee runs, to slide, but JD gets under! JD pops Lee up to CLOBBER him! JD puts Lee in, aims from a corner, and Lee goes to the opposite end. JD runs up, but Lee moves, CANNONBALL hits buckles! Lee hurries up while JD is down! The fans cheer as Lee aims, FROG SPLASH, but JD moves! Lee rolls through, runs back at JD but JD puts him on the apron. JD ROCKS Lee, goes up, and he brings Lee around. The fans fire up as JD brings Lee up, but Lee fires body shots! Lee GAMANGIRIS, then climbs! Lee sunset flips for the POWERBOMB! The fans fire up and Lee climbs back up, FROG SPLASH!! Cover, Lee wins!

Winner: Lee Johnson, by pinfall

Big Shotty’s got range, and he hit the mark! Will Lee take this momentum and turn it into another chance at a championship?

 

Abadon VS Allysin Kay!

Speaking of second chances, The Living Dead Girl got screwed out of the ROH Women’s World Television Championship when Mercedes Martinez & Diamante conspired against her. And while AK Don’t Play, she knows the OG Badass well. Can Abadon prepare for revenge by taking down Martinez’s greatest rival?

 


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