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Opinion

Top 5: Wrestling Weddings

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The Royal Wedding was the talk of the world last weekend. Either you were all wrapped up in Prince Harry, Meghan Markle & all the drama surrounding them, or you couldn’t care less & kept complaining about people talking about them. Once upon a time, I would have been among the latter crowd, but these days I find myself interested in things like royal weddings. The Crown got me interested for the most part, but Netflix isn’t the only thing playing a role.

I happen to find the concept of royalty interesting. I wouldn’t call myself a monarchist, but I do yearn for the days when leaders at least tried to act dignified & polite. Maybe they weren’t behind the scenes, but they attempted to set an example for the public to follow. Today’s leaders are the complete opposite.

I also find myself enjoying weddings more than I once did. As each day passes, the likelihood of my getting married diminishes. I could be bitter & whine about everybody else finding love while I walk along the boulevard of broken dreams. My teenage & 20s self would go along with this plan. Instead, I find joy in other peoples’ happiness. There’s something beautiful about a wedding. It contains all the promise of tomorrow & new beginnings. There’s none of the cynicism & foreboding of dark times ahead.

Well, that isn’t always true. It certainly isn’t true in pro wrestling. Wrestlers often try to find love amongst themselves, and sometimes we end up with weddings scheduled as worldwide television events. Since they’re wrestlers & happen to be complete psychopaths, things typically go off the rails. There’s no real promise of tomorrow & new beginnings for these poor souls. All we can hope is that their suffering entertains us.

These are the top five weddings in wrestling history.

5. Betty Hanson & George Wagner

Wagner was an undersized but talented wrestler early into his career when he met Betty. They decided to get married at one of George’s shows, and when it drew a bigger house than normal, they took it on the road to other venues. The story says that this is when Wagner figured out that pro wrestling would benefit from more entertainment, and began developing a more charismatic & flamboyant ring persona. Eventually, Gorgeous George was born, and the business was never the same.

4. Elizabeth & “Macho Man” Randy Savage

The Match Made in Heaven co-main evented SummerSlam ’91 alongside the Match Made in Hell. The ceremony itself was relatively uneventful, and to be honest went a bit long for everybody’s liking. What we remember is what happened at the reception, when Jake “The Snake” Roberts presented the newlyweds with a king cobra.

This led into one of the classic feuds of my youth, and one of the classic syndicated TV segments of all time with Jake’s snake taking a bite out of Randy’s arm. Unfortunately, Randy & Elizabeth’s love didn’t last much longer than his feud with Jake did.

3. Billy & Chuck

Who says WWE isn’t progressive? Back in 2002, SmackDown hosted a commitment ceremony involving their top tag team. Billy Gunn & Chuck Palumbo had been working the whole “tag team partners that are frequently secretly fond of each other” gimmick. One thing led to another, and a commitment ceremony was scheduled for an episode of SmackDown. GLADD got on board with it because they were very gullible…everybody knew this wasn’t going to go off without a hitch. Sure enough, Billy & Chuck got cold feet & blamed their stylist Rico for getting them into the mess. Then we found out the minister was actually Eric Bischoff, and it was all a set-up for a 3 Minute Warning beatdown.

For a segment that seemed like it had no potential for anything good, it actually went all right.

2. Lita & Kane

There was all kinds of ridiculousness leading into this, since it was a love storyline in mid-2000s WWE. Kane decided he was in love with Lita. Matt Hardy took offense. Kane beat up Matt a bunch, kidnapped Lita & impregnated her, then beat Matt in a match where the winner got to marry Lita. Could you imagine WWE trying to do this now? Stuff like this is why I’m glad PC & PG are things.

At least the wedding was an entertaining piece of business. Kane wore white & Lita wore black. The priest had a unique ear piercing. The best man & flower girl were little people. Eric Bischoff read from the Bible. Kane declared that Lita would always be his property. Lita said she would always love Matt Hardy. SO MUCH HILARITY!

WWE posted the wedding allegedly in full on YouTube, but left out the best part…Trish Stratus as Maid of Honor.

Honestly, Trish should be enough to make this number one now that I’m thinking about it. Totally second-guessing my decision here.

Honorable Mention: Edge’s Weddings

If anybody in wrestling history would be involved in multiple in-ring weddings, it would be Edge. The guy reached main event status once he accepted the fact that he was a manwhore. First it was Lita. The whole business with her & Matt Hardy sky-rocketed his stock, and even though his attempted wedding with her ended with Kane tombstoning the priest, the message was sent.

After Edge’s relationship with Lita ended, he moved on to Vickie Guerrero. We figured that Edge’s feelings for Vickie had more to do with her status as SmackDown General Manager than anything else. We were proven right at the wedding reception. Triple H showed a video of Edge cheating on Vickie with the wedding planner, Alicia Fox. Somehow the marriage lasted for months afterwards, but the result was divorce.

Fortunately, his real-life marriage with Beth Phoenix is going better.

Honorable Mention: Joyce & Uncle Elmer

“Rowdy” Roddy Piper’s attempt to break up the wedding didn’t work, but Jesse Ventura’s commentary of the ceremony remains one of the great performances by an announcer in television history. Just fantastic stuff by The Body.

1. Stephanie McMahon & Test

Remember The Union? It was a short-lived union of people you oughta respect, Shane. They won a match and got the right to book matches for themselves. Test, instead of putting himself in a wrestling match, opted to book a date with Vince McMahon’s daughter, Stephanie. Probably a smart move for a young wrestler. What better way to get on the boss’s good side than by treating his daughter well? It didn’t work out great. Brother Shane took offense to the relationship, leading to a memorable “Love Her or Leave Her” match at SummerSlam 1999.

Once that business was settled (and once they figured out what to do after Vince Russo left for WCW & took whatever idea he had for all of this with him), the engagement began. Plans were made for a wedding on a live episode of Raw. Test was so confident things would go well that he even demanded a match with Triple H earlier in the evening. He won there, but Triple H would have the last laugh at the end of the night.

Triple H stole Test’s thunder & emerged with Stephanie McMahon’s hand in marriage. Eventually, Stephanie revealed that she was actually on Hunter’s side, and Test was left with…well, not much really. His career never reached the heights it could have had he been a storyline McMahon family member.

It was during the McMahon-Helmsley Era storyline that unfolded afterwards that Stephanie McMahon & Paul Levesque fell in love for real. Had things gone another way, with Stephanie married to Test, not married at all, or somebody other than Triple H getting the nod, who’s to say that they would have ever gotten married in real life?

Where would Triple H have gone as a WWE Superstar had they not gotten together? Would he have 14 world championships to his credit? Probably not. It’s safe to assume he wouldn’t be where he is on the corporate totem pole. He never would have had any say in talent development or acquisition. NXT certainly wouldn’t be a thing, at least not in its current form.

Had Stephanie McMahon stayed sober at her bachelorette party, WWE would be a much different place. That’s why her wedding to Test that was botched due to Triple H marrying her beforehand has to be number one on any list of wrestling weddings.


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Opinion

AJ’s Thoughts: Five Potential Returns

With Trips in charge and already starting to bring back some people that didn’t work in Vince’s picture, AJ got an idea. Who else could we see on the horizon radar?

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With Trips in charge and already starting to bring back some people that didn’t work in Vince’s picture, AJ got an idea. Who else could we see on the horizon radar?

With everything going on with WWE, the one thing we have all been hyped about are all of these returns. Dakota Kai made her return at SummerSlam alongside Io and Bayley and now on last SmackDown, Karrion Kross and Scarlett made their returns in a big way against Drew McIntyre and showed the Hourglass to The Bloodline.

With all of that, there have been things in the pipeline saying Triple H’s foot isn’t off the pedal so these are 5 returns from either NXT, main roster or even Try-Outs that I would love to see happen with the new regime.

1. Johnny Gargano

Now this is a name that people have been saying, “Maybe Impact or MLW” but, what about a return? Gargano didn’t renew his contract, most likely to be with his family which is a valid and amazing reason, will never disrespect that. If he were to return, there would be a handful of great reasons. Maybe a singles run with the Intercontinental or United States but with Ciampa getting limelight in the main roster from RAW, what if we get a tag team reunion?

WWE is hurting for Tag Teams and what better than to scare off The Bloodline, loosen  the stranglehold of championships with some Do It Yourself action. DIY reunion could be amazing, especially with newer faces showing up to get championship aspirations like Kross and Ciampa. Want to break the hierarchy? Do It Yourself.

2. James Storm

This one is a little bit weird and off. On one hand, who doesn’t love the Tennessee Cowboy, Jimmy James Storm? On the other, he is 45 and getting some nagging injuries as of late. So why would I say Triple H should bring James Storm back and give him something for the main roster? One of the things I said for Gargano, we have a lack of something and The Usos might need to watch two things in the rearview.

Watch your Money and your Alcohol.

Beer Money showing up in WWE would be amazing in my personal opinion. The Bloodline jump Roode, someone in a hoodie or jacket comes up and jumps them to even the fight and as soon as one Uso remained in the ring, the figure goes down and the old stomping goes off and we hear “BEER…” and Roode looks around and gets hyped up and shouts, “…MONEY!”

3. Big Cass



Since his departure from WWE, he has done something I have said since they split him off from Enzo. Take him through the Kevin Nash School of How To Big Man. ROH and Impact are great examples that he actually cleaned up and worked on what he has to do to be good in the ring. He can work the microphone, he can work the ring so we got a new big boy to take on the WWE once again.

Now I could have said Enzo and Cass to rejoin but, I’m sure the antics of Enzo will get Cass in deep water along with the fact that I already made two tag team predictions, we don’t need another. Cass brings a lot to the table and was kind of unproven in WWE because he was just the big enforcer to the more charismatic Enzo. Give this man about six months in the ring and you have your next MASSIVE problem in the IC or US Championship scene or even more.

4. Bronson Reed



The big man from down under is a former NXT North American Champion. He looked to have a good push going with that championship but he got release. If you wonder where he went… he actually made a pit stop in Impact Wrestling as JONAH with the most fire theme song in recent history I swear… I will link the theme song and Trips… please. Get rights to this theme song. I will be a bigger Bronson Reed fan.

Bronson to me is the weird man in all of this but, I think with Triple H involved, he could get something going for him with a good singles champion run or a big threat to go through like a gatekeeper of sorts. Big boy with a great amount of athleticism? Can’t really hate on that considering the last time we saw athletic bigger people were Keith Lee and… what was that one guy? Sherman Tank with a Ferrari Engine…?

5. Bray Wyatt

And the last one is the obvious one in all of this. Yes… we have Judgment Day as the somewhat supernatural dark group but we know the true successor of the supernatural and that is “The Eater of Worlds”, “The Fiend” Bray Wyatt. This time around, I don’t think we will get the Jekyl and Hyde, Mister Rogers gimmick. I believe this time around we get full darkness and mayhem. We get the darkness and the theory of reverting back to your prime.

To make a refresher… Miz went back to being the cocky narcissist after fighting The Fiend. Finn turned back to the Prince and much more. With guys like Edge returning, maybe we see the return of the Heel Ultimate Opportunist, maybe a Fiend fight with AJ Styles to get the TN-AJ perhaps. Possibilities are endless and with a great mind like Wyatt for character and execution, I think Hunter will pick up the phone and Let Him In.

– There are clearly others that I could say, or maybe even didn’t think about, but hey, that’s the Chairshot way of Always Using Your Head. Those are just five returns that could happen and hopefully you read this before RAW or SmackDown and who knows if I get any of these right, maybe I missed an obvious one or maybe we get a giant signing that nobody thought possible. Let me and all of Chairshot know!


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Opinion

King’s Greatest Hits Of Jeff Hardy

As he battles his demons, Chris King looks at some more positive moments in Jeff Hardy’s career!

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Jeff Hardy WWE Smackdown

I’m sure by now you’ve heard the disturbing news that former WWE superstar and recent AEW signee Jeff Hardy, was arrested again for multiple charges including a DUI.  Hardy has had a hard and tragic road of recovery throughout the years in multiple wrestling promotions.

Not too long ago, Hardy walked out on WWE after they were rumored to have offered the former world champion to go to treatment for his substance abuse issues. Hardy refused and said that he was better but, as we saw the demons are still lurking and got the best of him again.

I have seen some nasty comments and even some distasteful memes about the AEW superstar and felt compelled to go against the grain. Instead of kicking a man when he’s down, I’m going to put together a greatest hits for the “Charismatic Enigma.”

Jeff Hardy & The TLC Match

Everyone can say that Shawn Michaels and Razor Ramon helped innovate the iconic ladder match and you are right, but Jeff Hardy and his death-defying stunts changed the concept of the match forever. The Hardy Boyz vs. The Dudley Boyz vs. Edge & Christian and their iconic TLC match should have their wing in the Hall of Fame. The risks all six superstars took for the adoration of the crowd could have ended all of their illustrious careers. In the words of Vince McMahon, It’s such good shit!

Jeff Hardy Earns The Undertaker’s Respect

On the July 1st, 2002 episode of Monday Night Raw, Hardy delivered the performance of a lifetime nearly winning the WWE Undisputed Championship from The Undertaker in an incredible ladder match. The young up-and-comer was faced with his greatest task yet, challenging for the most prestigious title in sports entertainment. Hardy showed that without a shadow of a doubt he deserved to be in the main event scene, but came within minutes of defeating Taker. At the time of the match, Hardy was still finding his footing as a singles competitor and earned the respect of the champion and legend.

Swanton Bomb From The Heavens

When I think of the daredevil Jeff Hardy, I can’t help but think of this one crazy-as-hell stunt. At WWE One Night Stand 2008, Hardy faced off against the juggernaut Umaga in a falls count anywhere match. This match was so insane as both superstars fought into the parking lot. Hardy is one of the craziest and bravest superstars, hit a Swanton Bomb off a damn stage truck onto Umaga. It’s one of the wildest things you’ll ever see.

Hardy Wins The WWE Championship 

In 2008, Hardy finally made his way to the main event title picture alongside partner Triple H. HHH was Hardy’s mentor in some sort of way which led to the daredevil achieving his lifelong dream of becoming WWE champion. At the 2008 Armageddon pay-per-view, Hardy would face HHH and longtime rival Edge in a triple-threat match for the title. In what was a great match between all three superstars, Hardy delivered a Swanton Bomb to Edge to win the illustrious championship.

Straight Edge Problems For Hardy

The following year, Hardy found himself in the way of young-up-and-comer CM Punk who is looking to make an example out of him. Punk had won the Money in the Bank briefcase for the second year in a row and took advantage of Hardy to win the world title. What started as mutual respect between both superstars changed drastically, when Punk started throwing jabs at Hardy for his drug and substance abuse real-life issues. Punk would form his infamous stable known as the Straight Edge Society. This is a very underrated feud and you should go back and watch it in its entirety. The promos are gold.

The Hardy Boyz Return To WWE

Both Matt and Jeff Hardy found success in multiple other wrestling promotions including Ring of Honor, and TNA during their time away from WWE. Both brothers were struggling with their vices and made poor life choices but straightened up their act over the years. In 2017, the Hardy Boyz would face longtime rivals The Young Bucks in ROH. The following night the adored tag team would make their incredible return to WWE at WrestleMania 33. Matt and Jeff would be named the final team in the Fatal 4-way ladder match for the Raw Tag Team Championships. The pop these two received was insane and very much deserved. They would go on to win the match and win the titles to capitalize on their momentum.

Jeffery Nero Hardy Makes AEW Debut

From 2017-to 2022 Jeff Hardy would find himself pigeonholed in the mid-card title picture. He would have feuds with a plethora of superstars including Samoa Joe, and Randy Orton. Orton and Hardy had a nasty Hell in a Cell match back in 2018. Earlier this year, Hardy was seen running around after the 24/7 Championship, which was disappointing to see. After being genuinely unhappy in WWE, Hardy would make his AEW debut on the March 9th episode of AEW Dynamite. Hardy would come to the aid of his brother and longtime partner.

This week news broke that Hardy had been arrested for multiple charges including a DUI. While it’s easy to beat a man while he’s down, how about we uplift and try to encourage him to get the help he needs.

As a longtime wrestling fan, I have the utmost respect for Hardy and wish him the best of luck in his battle with addiction.


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