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Chairshot Classics: WWF SummerSlam 2000

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For this edition of Chairshot Classics we are in the new millennium as Kane and Undertaker face off, and The Rock, Triple H and Kurt Angle step in the ring for a Triple Threat match for the WWF Heavyweight Title. All this and so much more..

The date we are traveling to today is August 27, 2000 and we are in the Raleigh Entertainment and Sports Arena in Raleigh, North Carolina. There are 17,672 people in attendance and another 570K tuning in at home on PPV for the Chef Boyardee presented SummerSlam. The WWF is on its way to acquiring the WCW and has crushed them in ratings. The ratings the week before SummerSlam were RAW-6.2, NITRO-2.6. Even though RAW was preempted until 11 because of The US Open Tennis Tournament it still beat NITRO in the week following SummerSlam, RAW-4.9, NITRO-3.5. Vince is on his way to owning that show as well.

There is an awesome, grainy black and white film that opens the show. It is titled “Crimes of Passion” and is said to be “A film by Freddie Fellini”. I’m guessing this a reference to a famous Italian director named Federico Fellini. The video features “Classy” Freddie Blassie and he enters the locker rooms to watch a video of the current feud of Kurt Angle and Triple H over Stephanie McMahon, with hints of The Rock sprinkled in. I can’t say much more about this but go watch it. Its amazing stuff.

Chef Boyardee presents us SummerSlam 2000 with a CG video of the SummerSlam logo sailing through the sky and landing on the beach. We enter the arena to a sea of signs and the pyro that is not the same today. I miss the awesome pyro and sets from back then. Jim Ross welcomes us and tells us that they made 1.1 million at the gate alone. This has to be a jab at the WCW, who is struggling at this time. He introduces us to his partner, Jerry “The King” Lawler, before he says “We’ll see ten matches tonight and four are for Championships”. Jerry tells him he is lucky to be able to see at all after what TAZZ did to him. More on that later as it pertains to a storyline of a match on the card. JR finishes by introducing the first match on the card, a six man tag.

Right to Censor enter the arena to some boos. They are a rib on the Parent Teacher Conference, who was giving the WWF a hard time over their Attitude Era material. The RTC is made up of Stevie Richards, Bull Buchanon and The Goodfather. The Godfather was so over at this time and I don’t know why they did this to him but I guess he was probably a focal point of the PTC’s case. Richards goes to the mic to question the fans booing, and is shocked by it, being they are in the Bible Belt. Before he can finish, Too Cool‘s music comes on and the place explodes. Too Cool was so over. Too Cool, Scotty 2 Hotty, Grand Master Sexay, and Rikishi enter and Rikishi looks to have picked up some of The Godfather’s old hoes. Grand Master Sexay or Brian Lawler is a real life prince, as he is the son of Jerry “The King” Lawler. Rikishi is part of the famed Anoa’i family and is the father of current SmackDown superstar’s, The Usos. Whom inducted him into the WWE Hall of Fame in 2015.

Too Cool enters the ring and begin their signature dance, which the crowd is nuts for, but it is interrupted by the RTC. This ambush gains them no advantage, and after GoodFather is clotheslined over the top rope by Rikishi the match starts with Bull Buchanon and Scotty 2 Hotty. This series is all Scotty and the only real highlight are a crossbody off the top and a moonsault over the head of Bull, which he lands. He tags Grand Master Sexay in and they perform a double suplex. The crowd really pops when Scotty exits the ring with a Moonwalk. Goodfather tags in JR, who is still calling him Godfather. He’s not long for the ring, and takes a hard bump to the outside when Sexay tosses him over the top rope. Sexay attempts to hold him so the hoes can slap him, presumably for the way he treated them when they were under his employment. He manages to break free though and this leads to him assaulting the hoes. So much for that image change, Huh? This enrages the crowd and the “Save the Hoes” chants begin. After Buchanon puts hands on Sexay he returns him to the Ring and The Goofather resumes the beating. Richards finally gets in the ring and delivers a vicious sit-down powerbomb, for the cover but the Grand Master manages to kick out. Richards goes to the top rope next but Sexay makes the save by hitting it and causing Richards to fall on to the top turnbuckle. Sexay then suplexs him off it and they both lay on the mat as the crowd anticipates the hot tag.

After an enziguri, Grand Master Sexay makes the tag and Rikishi comes in swinging. This leads to all members of RTC entering the ring but it doesn’t slow Rikishi down, and he pounds them all. He throws Richards from the ring but he tries to use this to his advantage by heading up the apron. The hoes are there to make the save and throw him back into the ring. A cool spot is next when Rikishi whips all member of RTC to the same corner and each member gets knocked of the “stack” with a butt bumb from each member of Too Cool. Rikishi goes last and he attempts to give Richards the Stink Face after. For those not familiar with the move it is when the big man would rub his thonged ass into the face of his opponent. The move is interrupted by Right To Censor and the crowd is disappointed. The disappointment doesn’t last long as Scotty 2 Hotty is setting up for his patented Worm. This is where is does the Worm dance into a drop onto his opponent. But this, too, is interrupted. This time by a superkick from Richards that leads to a three count. And the crowd is definitely bummed. Overall the match was entertaining and kept the audience guessing. I’m sure they wish they could of gotten the Too Cool finisher and I am right there with them on that. Match Time: 5:14

After the match JR and The King discuss that Triple H hasn’t arrived yet and are curious as to how Stephanie McMahon feels about it. They flash us back to Sunday Night Heat earlier and the night where Jonathon Coachman is being joined by Kurt Angle, as he enters the building. Coach ask him

“what were you thinking taking advantage of Stephanie on Thursday night?” This is because Kurt kissed her after he wakes her up, and she definitely seemed “not awake” on the couch on Smackdown. But at the end of the kiss she started to kiss back. Kurt asks him if he is questioning his integrity before he storms off saying that he doesn’t have to answer to a fourth rate announcer. Weird angle we have here. I guess because Triple H’s first date with her was under date rape pretenses Kurt only found it suitable to approach her when she is barely conscious. What the Fuck. It shows Stephanie enter next and she is asking if Hunter has arrived yet. Coach tells her he hasn’t but Kurt Angle has. She then asks where he went and goes the opposite way. The video ends showing Angle enter a dressing room that says McMahon-Helmsley.

Michael Cole, with some frosted tips, is trying to interview Shane McMahon, the Hardcore Champion. Before they can get into it though, Steve Blackman comes around the corner and Shane takes off.

We see a quick shot of the arena from the outside before we re-enter to “Oh You Didn’t Know, Your Ass Better Call Sombodddyyy” and The Road Dogg Jesse James is on his way out. There is a quick recap as to how this “Friendly Feud” between to members of the D-X began. After a loss to The Undertaker the two argued with James on the apron. X-Pac chest bumps him and it sends him off the apron and through a table. He welcomes the crowd to the Dogg House and talks his normal trash on the mic before X-Pac enters to some nice pop. He enters the ring and gives some “crotch chops” as some pyro X’s go off behind him. The pair trade some locks and takedowns before Road Dogg kicks X-Pac in the ass and sends him sailing from the ring. And Road Dogg gets the crowd going with some cock chops of his own. X-Pac returns to the ring but James maintains the momentum until he misses a splash in the corner. Pac knocks him down with a series of spin kicks and this sets up an attempted a Bronco Buster that Dogg manages to avoid. They go back and forth until X-Pac gets the sleeper hold locked in. Road Dogg breaks free but receives a spinning heal kick for doing so. X-Pac drags him to the corner for another Bronco Buster and this time the Road Dogg doesn’t move. After X-Pac hits his finish he begins to celebrate with the crowd. This allows the Road Dogg to come to his feet and nail Pac with his 3 punch left combo that he follows with a shimmy and a right hand. This sets him up to drop the Shake, Rattle and Roll knee and go for the cover but X-Pac kicks out at two. X-Pac eventually hits an X-Factor after he reverses a pump-handle slam with a low blow. He follows it up with a cover and the ref counts the three. After the match Pac goes to the mic to offer a truce to Road Dogg. The Road Dogg takes the outreached hand of X-Pac and as JR says “The Road Dogg does it doggy style with a pump-handle slam.” This is because he thrust at the ass of X-Pac before picking him up for the slam. Its insane really. This match wasn’t the best and was pretty bored with it. I think X-Pac was an underrated talent by most people, but he didn’t live up to my view on him here. No real heat in the match also made the story told in ring stale. This is a match you could definitely save some time on by fast-forwarding. Match Time: 4:41

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Chairshot Classics

Chairshot Classics: Raw #7 [March 1st 1993]

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Hello from the Raw side where we chronologically wander through past episodes of WWE’s Monday Night Raw episode by episode. Seven weeks in and it’s time for a WWE Title match. To see who it was defended against and if it was defended at all (see what I did there?) lets head on to

Raw #7 [March 1 1993]

As soon as Raw opens, WWE Champion, Bret Hart is on his way down the isle for……

. Bret Hart vs Fatu [WWE Title]

Fatu pushes Bret out of a Collar and Elbow. Bret turns a second one into a Headlock but Fatu sends him off the ropes. Nobody moves as both men clash shoulders together in the centre of the ring. Bret charges at Fatu who catches Bret and Bodyslams him before an Elbow Drop that Bret rolls to avoid. Bret hits an Armdrag followed by knees to the shoulder before applying an Armbar. Fatu breaks it by throwing Bret into the turnbuckles. However, Bret avoids a charging Fatu and Armdrags him into another Armbar. Fatu breaks this one by sending Bret off the ropes. Again nobody moves when both men clash shoulders in the centre of the ring. Bret hits Fatu with another Shoulder Block and this time Fatu goes down. Bret runs the ropes and falls over Fatu (which Vince tries to pass off as a trip by Fatu’s manager, Afa, despite Afa being nowhere near Bret) and clutches his knee. He’s faking it. As Fatu celebrates his opponent’s injury Bret runs at Fatu and rolls him up with a School Boy that gets him a two count.

Bret Arm Wringers his way back into the Armbar. Fatu tries to break it with a Bodyslam but Bret rolls through it still holding the Armbar. Fatu breaks it again by sending Bret off the ropes but Fatu telegraphs a Back Drop and Bret Faceplants Fatu into the canvas. Fatu is Samoan and apparently shots to the head (like a Faceplant) have no effect on him and he stands straight back up and Superkicks Bret for a two count. Fatu uses his hard Samoan head to hit Bret with a Headbutt. Fatu sends Bret off the ropes and tries to Hip Toss Bret. He counters it and, despite managing to Armdrag Fatu twice so far this match, can’t Hip Toss Fatu because he’s too heavy and gets Clotheslined by Fatu for another two count. Fatu applies a nerve grip to Bret’s shoulder. Bret tries to fight his way out with Elbows to the gut but Fatu pulls Bret’s hair and re-applies the nerve grip. It’s eventually broken when Fatu gets hungry and bites Bret. Fatu catches Bret as he runs right into a Back Elbow and gets a two count. Samu walks down the isle. Bret ducks a Clothesline and hits a Cross Body for a two. Fatu kicks out hard enough to send Bret rolling out of the ring. Afa distracts the referee allowing Samu to Bodyslam Bret Hart onto the ringside mats followed by a series of Headbutts and finally Sam rams Bret into the ringside steps.

Back from the ads and Bret is still on the outside of the ring and not been counted out. (how short were the ads back in ’93 and can we have those back?) Fatu is fanally bored waiting and hits Bret’s head off the apron before rolling Bret back into the ring. Fatu Headbutts Bret and Irish Whips him hard into the corner. Fatu gets a two from a side Backbreaker. Fatu Irish Whips Bret again and drops with another Headbutt for another two count. Fatu gets another two count from a Piledriver. Fatu bites at Bret again and kicks him in one corner before Irish Whipping Bret chest first into another for yet another two count. Fatu gets another one from a Sidewalk Slam and a second rope Headbutt. Fatu climbs to the top turnbuckle but Bret stops him with a Right Hand and Superplexes Fatu for a two count as does a Bulldog. Bret hits a Side Backbreaker and a second rope Elbow Drop before applying the Sharpshooter. Afa distracts the referee while Samu Clotheslines Bret. Fatu rolls out of the ring and Samu gets a two count. Afa distracts again and Fatu is back in. Bret slips out of a Bodyslam attempt and pushes Fatu into Samu causing Samu to get tied up in the ropes. Bret hits Fatu with a Russian Leg Sweep and Dropkicks Afa to prevent him interfering. Bret locks Fatu in the Sharpshooter and this is over.

Winner: Bret Hart [still WWE Champion]

Time for a Wrestlemania Report. Mean Gene hypes the matches for Westlemania including Hogan & Beefcake vs DiBiase & IRS, Giant Gonzales vs The Undertaker, Shawn Michaels vs Tatanka, Lex Luger vs Mr Perfect and Bret Hart vs Yokozuna. Tickets are still available.

Via sattelite we link up with Crush. He demonstates his prediction for his Wrestlemania match by crushing a coconut.

. Doink vs Koko B Ware

Doink attacks Koko before the bell with a Running Knee and then stops on Koko before Elbow Dropping Koko’s knee. He then stops Koko’s knee. Doink applies a Half Crab that quickly becomes an STF. Doink kicks at Koko’s hamstring. Doink hits Koko with a Neckbreaker. Doink applies the Stump Puller and this one is over. Night of Submissions this is.

Winner: Doink

Elvis” or Rob Bartlet interviews Doink at ringside. Doink hands Bartlet a tiny cream pie. Bartlet shows it to the crowd and turns right into… Doink smushes a normal sized cream pie into Bartlet’s face. I love Doink sometimes.

We get the Bret Hart IcoPro ad, the Savage Slim Jim ad and the action figure ad.

Vince McMahon is in the ring with Ted DiBiase & IRS. DiBiase says he thought Hogan had gone off into the sunset but “oh no, here he comes again“. DiBiase says that insted of taking an asset, Hogan has taken an overpaid loss in Jimmy Hart. IRS says if they wanted they could have put Beefcake out of wrestling for good, but they didn’t and calls their attack “a wake up call“. DiBiase says not only will they put the titles on the line against Hogan and Beefcake, but they wll do so at Wrestlemania. He should watch Raw, Mean Gene told me about this match earlier in the show on the Wrestlemania Report.

The Wrestlemania ad airs. Slightly over a month away and tickets are STILL available.

. Lex Luger vs PJ Walker

Yes people it’s Enhancement Time! This time it’s PJ Walker. He will go on to become ECW alumni Justin Credible. We will see him turn up in about 2020 as masked jellyfish Aldo Montoya.

Luger starts with a Kick to the gut and an Elbow to the back of PJ’s head. Luger then Irish Whips PJ hard into the corner twice. Luger then lifts PJ and drops his back across Luger’s knee for a Backbreaker and then hits a Suplex. Luger then rams PJ head first into the corner twice and then catches PJ with a High Knee. Luger then lifts PJ for a Bodyslam but instead runs him into the corner (similar to an Oklahoma Stampede). With PJ hanging from the turnbuckles in a Tree Of Woe stylee, Luger kicks at PJ’s gut. Down off the corner, Luger then Soccer Kicks PJ in the ribs. Luger then hits PJ with a running Forearm and pins him with his pinkie.

Winner: Lex Luger

. Rick Steiner & Scott Steiner vs Duane Gill & Barry Hardy

Yes people, it’s another Enhancement Time! This match feel familiar to anyone? It should, this is basically the Executioners vs The Steiners from Raw #1 only the Executioners are maskless.

Scott and Barry start. Scott goes quickly from an Arm Wringer into a Double Leg Takedown but Barry quickly gets to the ropes. Scott turns a Collar and Elbow into a Headlock and Barry pushes him off the ropes. Scott hits him with a Shoulder Block as he rebounds which knocks Barry down. Scott goes off the ropes again, leapfrogs Barry and smashes a Forearm across his back. Scott grabs Barry and lauches him with an Overhead Belly To Belly Suplex. Scott hits a Snapmare and tags Rick who Clotheslines Barry over the top rope and out of the ring. Scott throws Barry back into the ring where Rick lifts him onto his shoulder and runs (similar to Luger’s variation of the Oklahoma Stampede earlier) into the corner. Rick throws Barry into his own corner so he can tag Duane who runs straight into a Back Drop by Rick. Duane is then thrown off the ropes where Rick catches him with a Tilt-a-Whirl Backbreaker and an Elbow Drop. Scott tags in and hits Duane with a Pump Handle Slam. Scott sends Duane off the ropes and Dropkicks him. Rick tags in and briefly applies a Camel Clutch before tagging Scott back in. Scott hits a Double Underhook Suplex and a Frankensteiner. He covers Duane and to no surprise, this is over.

Winners: Rick Steiner & Scott Steiner

The ad for Mania airs again.

Commentary hype next weeks matches including Mr Perfect vs Rick Martel and Ted DiBiase & IRS vs El Matador & Virgil and we are done for another week.

Post Show: What can I say? Raw in 1993 is what it is and it will be that way for a couple of years yet.

Match Of The Night: Bret Hart vs Fatu. It was a WWE Championship match on TV and was at least given time for them to do something with. The rest was just filler.

MVP: Bret Hart AND Fatu. Fatu’s offence plus Bret’s selling made the match.

Rating: 6/10

With that I bid you farewell. I’ll be back next week with Episode 8. In the meantime I can be found on Twitter @Callaweasy2220 where I live tweet Raw, Smackdown, NXT and (when there’s one on like the other night with Extreme Rules) pay per view. I also talk Wrestling and post random pictures of what wrestling I am watching so feel free to pop over.

While you are here on TheChairshot.com we have news, views and reviews for you to amuse yourself with.

As I said, I’ll be back next week so until then, #UseYourHead and ALWAYS have an Angle!


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Chairshot Classics: NWA-TNA Episode 3 “Tag Team Turmoil”

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This week, TNA is building on two good shows, and this week is all about the Tag Team Division. We’re getting a one-night tournament to crown the new NWA Tag Team champions, Ken Shamrock will be facing Malice (I guess the rest of Guns n Roses weren’t available this week for Slash) and AJ Styles will defend his brand new X Division Championship against David Young. Let’s see how they do!

Opening

TNA seems very pyro happy this week. There’s a sign about the show needing ‘Athena’. Don West is wearing an ugly red suit jacket with black pinstripes. We’re told that Ken Shamrock and AJ Styles will be defending their titles against Malice and David Young, respectively, as well as crowning new Tag Team Champions and our Main Event is going to be Scott Hall and Brian Christopher vs Jeff Jarrett and K-Krush. Ferrara points out that Jarrett and K-Krush got screwed last week by the ‘babyfaces’.

(Gotta agree with Ferrara on this one, that was BS.)

We’re introduced to Jim Wilson, who is president of the NWA. Wilson apologizes for missing the first show, he was in Japan on a scouting mission (I think that’s what he said). He says that there’s a surprise but won’t reveal the surprise just yet, but does give Tenay a trophy and welcomes TNA to the NWA.

(I thought they were already in the NWA.)

Tenay gives an awkward thanks for the trophy, clearly he thought they were already in the NWA too, but presses about the surprise. Wilson says that during his tour of Japan, he met a big, 280lb Japanese man and that next week, this gentleman, whose name is Omori will face the winner of the Shamrock/Malice match next week (sorry Guns-n-Roses).

Round 1 of the Tag Tournament: ‘Cowboy’ James Storm and Chris Harris vs The Johnsons (with Mortimer Plumtree)

Storm and Harris get a HUGE pop. If I remember correctly, this was the start of their run as ‘America’s Most Wanted’. Storm’s got a pistol that’s he’s shooting off (blanks, I assume).

The Johnsons are back and not looking any better than they did two weeks ago, and Plumtree is every bit as obnoxious. I’m hoping this doesn’t last long.

We start with Harris and Johnson #1. I think it’s safe to say that the Johnsons are only going win this by dumb luck, because they stink.

This match is…not good. It’s very awkward and both teams are trying to find their footing and the Johnsons just…ugh! Thankfully, this is a short one.

Winner: James Storm and Chris Harris by pinfall, they advance to the next round. Plumtree is berating the Johnsons and the Johnsons aren’t happy and start to give Plumtree the worst looking chokeslam ever, but then settle on just pushing him down.

Comments: Thank god, that’s over. This was awkward on both sides of the ring, but Storm and Harris, even with only being a week-old team, were a lot better than the Johnsons.

Scott Hall comes out, he’s not dressed to wrestle, so I guess this is a promo segment. Hall looks like he’s had a few cocktails, but before he can get past ‘Hey, yo’, Jarrett crashes the party. After a ‘Hey, yo, my ass’ that the crowd seems to like, Jarrett tells Hall that no one wants to see or hear him, which the crowd disagrees with. He tells Hall to take his ass exactly where he came from…bitch.

(Uh…okay, that sounded more awkward than it needed to sound)

Hall says that Jarrett hasn’t changed at all. He still talks a lot of smack but he (Hall) doesn’t think Jarrett can back it up. He then tells Jarrett ‘Don’t sing it, just bring it’, which sounds like they ripped it right out of Rock’s mouth, to be honest.

Jarrett is fine with that and heads for the ring, saying they don’t have to wait until later. Unfortunately, Wilson, who seems to have drawn the ‘Irritating Management Figure’ straw this week. Wilson seems to have forgotten that the NWA stopped being a big deal to anyone about fifteen years ago and was definitely not a big deal eight years ago when Shane Douglas threw the belt down and cut his epic promo when Eastern Championship Wrestling went extreme, and says that Jarrett is not going to run roughshod over the NWA and that Jarrett is going to do what they say. Jarrett seems to find Wilson’s delusions of power and authority amusing but backs off for now.

Wilson doesn’t know when to shut up and actually seems to think that his word is law, but Jarrett plays nice and backs off. Jarrett’s uncharacteristic retreat is quickly explained when K-Krush attacks Hall from behind.

(Okay, now that’s how a heel acts.)

Hall quickly gets the upper hand and sends K-Krush out of the ring, but Jarrett’s message was sent loud and clear: Hall doesn’t only have Jarrett to worry about.

(Okay, is someone not paying the light bill here, because the lights in the building keep dimming).

We get sent back to the back, where Storm and Harris were apparently jumped in the locker room after beating the Johnsons. Storm is a bloody mess. The NWA VP throws everyone, including Goldilocks, out of the locker room with orders for someone to get the EMTs.

Anthony Ingraham vs Monty Brown

Back in the ring, we’ve got a filler match. Anthony Ingraham is already in the ring and Monty Brown is on his way out to a pretty good pop.

Brown cuts a promo that’s a little hard to understand over the music, but from what I can hear is Brown saying that he’s there for one reason and that is to beat Ken Shamrock and he’s going to show everyone how he’s  going to get what he wants.

Okay, maybe it’s my eyes, but it looks like either Brown is really whiffing these punches, or Ingraham’s timing is off.

This is a typical jobber match. Ingraham’s just there to get beat up, but Brown’s rough as a cob in spots.

I’m guessing, judging by the movements, Brown’s setting Ingraham up for his finisher, which he hits and gets three.

Winner: Monty Brown by pinfall.

Comments: This was an okay match. Brown was pretty rough in spots and some of the spots weren’t crisp, but it wasn’t an awful match.

Goldilocks is looking for the NWA president, who I thought was Jim Wilson, but she’s saying Jim Miller. Either way, she isn’t having much luck when she’s interrupted by the Psycho Dwarf. Psycho is mad that he wasn’t allowed to wrestle two weeks ago and wants to ‘Makes some midgets/bitches (can’t really understand him) bleed.’ He calls out Gary Coleman (Diffr’nt Strokes), Mini Me (Austin Powers), and the drunk midget from Howard Stern (don’t know his name). Either way, he wants to see a midget bleed. Goldilocks looks weirded out (or she’s trying not to laugh at him).

Back in the ring, it’s time for our second Tag Team Tournament Match.

Round One of the Tag Team Tournament: The Rainbow Express (with Joel Gertner) vs Buff Bagwell and Apollo

Rainbow Express gets the reaction you’d expect them to get. I’m not sure who is more hated, Gertner or the Express, but at least we don’t have to listen to Gertner talk.

Backstage, Goldilocks is interviewing the Rainbow Express’ opponents: Buff Bagwell and Apollo.

(Oh dear)

Apparently, Buff and Apollo are surprise entries into this tournament, or they were to Goldilocks. Buff takes exception to being termed a ‘surprise’ and calls Goldilocks ‘Goldilegs’, much to her irritation, before reminding us that he’s a six-time World Tag Team Champion.

Buff vows to become a seven-time tag champion and that’s why he picked Apollo. Apollo’s the biggest, baddest, the #2 man in the business (Buff apparently thinks he’s the #1 guy, not, you know, the NWA Champion). Apollo’s game, until the #2 comment.

Goldilocks looks bored and unimpressed.

Apollo vows victory, but apparently, Buff doesn’t think people will be able to understand Apollo, because he interrupts and basically repeats what Apollo said.

(This is going to end badly.)

Goldilocks thanks them for a wonderful (yes, it was that dripping with sarcasm) interview and sends it back to the ring.

Bagwell gets a surprisingly good pop, as does Apollo. Ferrara, who is the HEEL commentator, is panning Bagwell’s interview, but West defends him…kind of.

(Okay, who dropped out of this tournament for this team to be put together?)

Bagwell and Bruce start us out and we get a quick back and forth before Bruce gets the upper hand and kisses in Lenny.

Alicia comes out, wonder who she’s going to be bothering this time, and apparently, it’s Ferrara, who is more than happy to pay up, unlike Alicia’s other…transactions.

Back in the ring, Apollo’s been tagged in and is taking on both member of the Rainbow Express. Where Bagwell is, I have no idea.

When asked about the Alicia thing, Ferrara assures us that it’s not what we think. (It’s not, I researched it and I’m glad they scrapped it).

Apollo is doing a pretty good job, but Gertner’s inserting himself in this thing.

Rainbow Express hit the Broken Arrow, the signature finisher of the World’s Greatest Tag Team on Apollo, and think it was so nice, they had to do it twice, only it looks like Bruce botched it a little.

Lenny goes for pin, but Apollo doesn’t want to cooperate.

Bruce and Buff are tagged in, no kissing this time, and Buff actually seems to be making some headway, but things get a little screwy and suddenly Apollo is taking on Bruce instead.

Apollo is about to end this thing when Lenny and Buff come back in. Buff  hits the Blockbuster, but eats a superkick by Lenny, who gets the pinfall.

Afterwards, Buff is upset and embarrassed. Apollo is giving him a lot of flack for the loss and leaves, leaving Buff in the ring.

Ferrara goes for an interview and asks if Buff wants a mic. A very sad looking Buff tells Ferrara to call him ‘Marcus’ (his real name) and not to call him ‘Buff’ anymore. Ferrara is surprised and asks him why. Marcus says that he’s been ‘Buff’ his entire career and what has it gotten him: A broken neck that he came back from and no one gave a s**t (his words, not mine). He bemoans being a six-time tag champion and getting beat by two gay guys. He says he wants to be called Marcus forever and the other thing he wants is to go home.

Ferrara is stunned. Marcus says that ‘Buff’ has ruined his career and that his ass is going home and gives Ferrara his top hat.

Winner: Rainbow Express by pinfall.

Comment: Okay, that wasn’t a total trainwreck. The promo at the end really broke my heart and I’m not a fan of Bagwell’s.

Back to business, Ken Shamrock is coming out, but he’s not dressed for wrestling.

Shamrock cuts a promo on Brown and pans Brown’s comments about going for the NWA title. He reminds us that he went through nineteen guys to get the NWA title and Brown’s only had one match. He also tells Brown to be careful what he wishes for because he could have a short career.

The crowd is doing the ‘What?’ chant and it’s really irritating, thankfully, Shamrock seems amused by it.

Shamrock reminds us that he faces Malice this week and Omori next week. He also says that IF Brown is able to get a title shot by then, he’d be happy to beat him up and send him home with his head shoved up his ass.

(Charming)

The lights go out and James Mitchell is here and tells Shamrock not to concern himself with Monty Brown or Omori but that he DOES need to fear Malice.

When the lights come back up, Shamrock’s been laid out and Malice is standing over him. Security and EMTs come in, putting the title match in doubt.

Backstage, Goldilocks is trying to get a word with NWA VIP Bill Berens over what is going on tonight. Apparently, Mr. Berens is trying to get an update on James Storm and Chris Harris. Jerry Lynn is also there and tells Berens that he can find a tag partner he can step in. Berens is being very uncooperative with Lynn and Goldilocks.

Up next is Puppet, aka Psycho Dwarf.

Puppet vs Todd Stone

 Puppet gets the mic and continues his rant from earlier tonight. Before he can get too far, his opponent comes out. Puppet isn’t sure what to make of this guy, but here we go.

Puppet greets his opponent with several shots to the head with a kendo stick and a size appropriate trash can.

I have no idea what the heck is going on, but this is basically a hardcore match with little people and Stone seems to be the jobber. Puppet hits an F-5 (F-2.5?) on Stone for the win.

fterwards, Puppet celebrates by hitting the ref with the kendo stick before attacking Stone some more. He nails Don West when West wants a high five and basically is swinging his stick at anything moving.

Winner: Puppet by pinfall.

Comment: Uh, yeah, okay.

Goldilocks is with Shamrock, trying to figure out if Shamrock will be able to face Malice later on. The EMT tells her that they’re trying to figure that out and they’re going to do a further assessment. Shamrock tries to get up (not very hard, I might add) and the EMTs get him sat back down.

We get a recap of the Miss TNA match and what happened to Francine, including the creepiness that Ferrara pulled, and rightly got his butt kicked for. Apparently, we’re getting a match.

Francine vs Taylor Vaughn

Francine gets a good pop, as does Taylor, whose music sounds like a little like Charlotte’s.

Apparently, someone didn’t tell Francine that ECW’s rules (or lack thereof) don’t apply in TNA, because she produces the belt from last week and starts whaling on Taylor with it.

Scott Armstrong gets the belt away from Francine and I guess this match has started. Vaughn gives Francine a taste of her own medicine, and even gives Armstrong a smack for interfering…which gets her disqualified.

Taylor and the crowd are furious because Francine got what she deserved. Ferrara apparently didn’t learn his lesson from last week and goes to comfort Francine and raises her hand and that’s when things get weird. Francine puts Ferrara’s hand on her boobs. When Ferrara responds the way most men would to a woman putting his hand on her chest, Francine beckons him closer and then smacks him before nailing him with the belt.

Winner: Francine by DQ.

Comment: That happened.

Borash introduces Hervey Sadler…who apparently is not going away anytime soon. Apparently, Hervey is worried about K-Krush showing up because he’s got some big security guys backing him up.

It’s a good thing Sadler’s success relies on his driving skills and not his promo skills because the promo was nothing to write home about, even if I could totally understand what he was saying.

Thankfully, K-Krush is back to save us from this monotony. He tells Sadler to shut up and reminds him and us of their on-going feud.

The promo goes about as well as it has for the last two weeks, until K-Krush shoves Sadler, who responds with a decent spear and begins punching K-Krush until security gets them separated.

K-Krush is furious and says that he doesn’t have time for Sadler this week due to his main event match this week but that he’s free next week, and challenges Sadler to a match, which Sadler accepts before security escorts him out.

(Why do I have a bad feeling about this?)

NWA Championship Match up next.

NWA World Heavyweight Championship: Ken Shamrock vs Malice (with James Mitchell)

 Mitchell and Malice are out to music that Paul Bearer would call cliched to a round of boos. Malice looks a little like Sycho Syd and JBL, which is an odd combination.

Shamrock comes out, to everyone’s surprise and he’s selling the pain of the beatdown like he’s just stubbed his toe and is trying to walk it off.

Anyway, this match is all Malice at the start and he’s rough as a cob, but he’s doing a good job of looking like a credible threat.

Malice does a move where he climbs to the middle turnbuckle while having Shamrock in a headlock. It looks like it could be an impressive strength move if he can make it look a little smoother.

Shamrock starts showing some life and tries to get Malice in a submission hold, but he’s too beat up and Malice gets away.

Malice throws Shamrock outside and Mitchell tries to distract the ref, who refuses to cooperate.

Malice throws Shamrock back in the ring, but gets caught when Shamrock gets him in a leg bar, but Malice gets to the ropes.

This match has been all Malice, Shamrock’s only gotten in two offensive moves the whole time and it’s starting to get boring.

Spoke too soon, Shamrock finally wakes up and starts acting like he’s got a horse in this race. After one belly to belly suplex, he gets a pinfall.

Malice and Mitchell are furious and confused, and I don’t really blame them.

Result: Ken Shamrock by pinfall.

Comment: That was not a great showing by either man. Malice is not quite ready for the spot he was in and hesitated several times before making a move. Shamrock was basically a punching bag and his sudden victory didn’t really do either man any favors. Hope the match against Omori is better than this.

X-Division Championship: AJ Styles for David Young (with Bobcat)

 So, David Young and the ever classy Bobcat are back and Young has a title shot against Styles for some reason. Bobcat is loving the attention, but Young isn’t happy. Styles gets a great pop. His music is a hokey country music sound, but it works for him.

Young gets the jump on Styles, but Styles quickly recovers. Young is very awkward, but he’s doing an okay job out there.

There’s a REALLY awkward spot where Styles looked to be going for a plancha but either misjudged did the spot wrong or Young was too close to do the spot correctly. They recover and Styles throws Young back in the ring for a two count.

Meanwhile, Bobcat has lost interest in Borash, much to Borash’s relief, I’m sure, and is busy talking on her cellphone. Yes, kids, cellphones did exist in 2002 and there were obnoxious people on them even then.

Styles goes for a springboard move but Young knocks him off and back onto the floor, before hitting a surprisingly good springboard moonsault. Young seems a little irritated by Bobcat being on the phone, but it’s not making an impact on the match. Young goes for a German Suplex, but Styles lands on his feet. There’s another awkward spot that ends with Styles being suplexed into the corner. Young is showing some impressive moves, but this match is really awkward.

Bobcat puts down her phone long enough to wave to the camera before going back to her conversation. Young hits a really good powerslam but only gets two.

(Come on, guys, pick it up a little.)

Styles hits a superkick but only gets two. He hits what looked like it was supposed to be a springboard moonsault but it didn’t go off and he transitioned it into a reverse DDT, but again, only got two. Young hits another powerslam that looked nasty, but Styles won’t stay down.  He gets Styles into the corner and goes for a Frankensteiner, but Styles counters into a Styles Clash from the middle turnbuckle.

Bobcat either doesn’t notice that Styles won or doesn’t care because she gets in the ring and mugs for the crowd. Styles, quite ungentlemanly, shoves her out of the way, but she gets up and keeps going

Winner: AJ Styles by pinfall.

Comment: Another not great outing for a defending champion. There were a lot of awkward spots in this match and I can’t say they were all Young’s fault. I’m a little curious to see what they have planned for David Young and Bobcat.

Backstage, Goldilocks is with the Rainbow Express, who currently don’t have an opponent for the Tag Team Tournament due to Storm and Harris being taken out earlier in the evening.

For whatever reason, Lenny decides to tell Goldilocks that while they aren’t interested in her, she should be interested to know that they know a place where she can get her hair fixed.

Goldilocks isn’t having it and tries to continue her interview but Gertner seems more interested in being a sexist creep, emphasis on CREEP, by hinting that he takes ‘toys’ with him to the airport. Goldilocks isn’t having it and asks about the tag team tournament. Gertner replies that since every other team has either been beaten or beaten up, the Rainbow Express not only get the rest of the night off but will leave as NWA World Tag Team Champions. He then tells Goldilocks that he might just wrestle her. Goldilocks is disgusted. He then states that under NWA rules and regulations, if all the other teams have been beaten or can’t compete, the last team standing (Rainbow Express in this case) wins by default.

(Guess we know who was behind Storm and Harris getting beat up).

Gertner then kisses Goldilocks and leads his team out of the locker room. Goldilocks laughs it off, but I’d be rushing to sanitize my face after that.

Up next is the final match of the Tag Team Tournament, but we only have one team.

Gertner comes out with the Express, all looking confident that they’ll be handed the belts and leave since Storm and Harris were taken out.

Borash says that the NWA officials have said that the Rainbow Express must have opponents for the match. Gertner is audibly furious. Their opponents are…Jerry Lynn and AJ Styles.

Final Match For NWA Tag Team Tournament: The Rainbow Express (with Joel Gertner) vs Jerry Lynn and AJ Styles

Lynn and Styles get a great pop. Styles looks sore and tired from earlier. Rainbow Express get the jump on Styles and Lynn, but that quickly changes.

This quickly turns into a brawl outside the ring, but inside, Lenny and Lynn are facing off and Lynn is outclassing Lenny at every step.

Couple of funny/risqué moments. Lynn goes for the Bronco Buster, but changes his mind, getting a few kicks in before hitting a drop toe hold on Bruce, who was trying to get a cheap shot in, that sends Bruce head first into Lenny’s Jesus Zipper, and then rams Bruce back into Lenny’s crotch several more times.

Lynn seems to be in control, until Gertner grabs his leg to keep him from going to the top turnbuckle, allowing Lenny time to pull himself together and take control of the situation. Lenny kisses Bruce in and West’s fairly homophobic ranting about it is a little nauseating. Bruce only gets a two count for his pin attempt.

Lynn manages to get back in control but only gets a two count after a guillotine leg drop. Styles is tagged in and manages a little offense before tagging Lynn back in. Gertner goes for the leg distraction again, but Lynn ignores it, while the ref is berating Gertner, Bruce gets a low blow in. Bruce tags Lenny in, but Lynn hits a jawbreaker.

Lenny goes for a Full Nelson, but Lynn slips away and hits an awkward Victory Roll but only gets a two count. Lynn misses a dropkick, giving Lenny an opening for his really bad looking Lion Tamer, but Styles makes a run-in and gives a stiff looking clothesline to break things up. While the ref is berating Styles about coming in without a tag, Bruce does exactly that, but the ref does nothing, of course.

Bruce kisses in Lenny, who gets Lynn up in a vertical suplex, but then seems to have forgotten what he was going to do with him, before finally hitting the suplex, but only gets a two count. Frustrated, Lenny takes a cheap shot at Styles and kisses in Bruce. Bruce shoots Lynn into the corner, but Lynn counters with another Victory Roll, but only gets another two count.

There’s a very funny exchange where Bruce tries to go for a Sunset Flip and Lynn sits down on him for a pin and then realizes what he’s doing. Bruce counters a headscissors takeover attempt with a faceplant, but only  gets a two count.

After an extended time in a head scissors submission, Bruce tries to get Lynn into a piledriving or powerbombing position, but Lynn blocks and gets clobbered for his effort. Bruce goes for a powerbomb, but Lynn counters and goes his piledriver, but Bruce counters, Lynn counters the counter and would’ve gotten three if Gertner hadn’t distracted the ref for a few seconds.

Lynn hits a reverse DDT but can’t capitalize on it and both men tag in (no kissing) their partners.

Styles seems to have finally gotten his wind back because he comes in like a house of fire. Styles gets two near falls, the last of which is broken by Bruce. Lynn comes in and we have chaos. Lenny hits a Full Nelson facebuster, but Lynn breaks up the pin and hits his piledriver on Lenny, giving Styles time to hit the corkscrew senton and we have new Tag Team Champions!

The crowd is ecstatic! Though, oddly, Styles is the only one celebrating at first, maybe because Lynn and Bruce were out of the ring and Lynn didn’t realize what had happened. He gets in the ring and both men celebrate.

Winner: Jerry Lynn and AJ Styles

Comments: That was a really great match once Styles was able to get his wind back and take the pressure off of Lynn. It was still awkward in several places, but a very good match.

We go backstage and find President Wilson/Miller tied up backstage with FU written on his belly.

We get a recap of the issues between Jarrett/Hall/K-Krush/Christopher, including last week where the babyfaces screwed over the heels.

Jeff Jarrett and K-Krush vs Scott Hall and Brian Christopher

Krush gets a minimal reaction, as does Jarrett. It’s implied that Jarrett might have had something to do with whatever happened to NWA President Whatshisname. Christopher gets a great pop as does Hall. Thankfully, Hall and Christopher came out without help.

We start off with a brawl that quickly heads to the floor.

This was a really great match, but it seems to be struggling to top the Tag team final match, which probably should’ve been the Main Event.

Jarrett and Krush are a really good team, but Hall/Christopher just seem like very odd ringfellows. Christopher’s got a lot of talent, but he just doesn’t fit in with Hall, Jarrett, and K-Krush. Jarrett is really making a case of being the guy to build the TNA brand around. Despite not being the biggest guy on the roster, he’s easily one of the most talented and it’s really showing in this match.

Christopher makes an error, by trying to stop a tag attempt by Jarrett to Krush by grabbing Krush at the other side of the ring, which takes him out of position for Hall to make the tag. What the heck?! Christopher acts like he wants Hall to tag him in, then yanks his hand away and punches Hall. In the exchange that follows, the ref gets knocked out and Hall is left fending for himself and takes out Christopher.

Okay, so Christopher has turned heel and helps Jarrett hit the Stroke. Christopher hits the leg drop and Jarrett and K-Krush get the win.

The heels are celebrating, and the crowd is livid.

Winner: Jeff Jarrett and K-Krush by pinfall.

Comment: That was better than I expected, the heel turn was a nice swerve, but it still felt a little flat after that Tag Team match.

Jarrett gets on the mic and says that he proved his point: Scott Hall isn’t worth a s**t. He goes on to say he’s beaten Hall in 1995, 1997, ran him out of WCW and WWF, and that he’s going to run him out of the NWA. Jarrett then proceeds to beat up Hall some more.

Jarrett says that Hall is just like all the other legends in the NWA, he’s not worth a damn. He then tells Tenay to take that to NWA President Jim Whatshisname, since apparently no one knows if his last name is Wilson or Miller, Harley Race, Dory Funk and all the other NWA legends. Jarrett seals the deal by cracking the NWA trophy over Hall’s head. Apparently the NWA didn’t skimp on the trophy because it takes Jarrett two tries to break the thing.

As the EMTs come out, Jarrett challenges everyone he can think of:  Toby Keith, Starling Marlin and vows to whip everyone’s ass. He also says he’ll run Scott Hall out of the NWA if it’s the last thing he does.

Jarrett then drops an elbow on Hall for the sheer hell of it and then tells everyone to put it down in their books: He got screwed the first night of TNA (which is true), and he’ll be damned if he’ll ever let it happen again. Jarrett makes a comment about Toby Keith but I couldn’t understand it over the commentators talking. He tells Scott Hall to never forget what happened and then attacks him again. Jarrett walks out still complaining about Episode #1 and him getting screwed by Fargo and the NWA.

Tenay reminds us that next week we’re going to have a NWA title match between Shamrock and Omori, an X-Division match featuring the return of the Flying Elvises. Jarrett is back again and still attacking Hall. We end with Jarrett dropping the stretcher frame on Hall.

Overall Comments:

So, how was Episode #3? It was pretty good, it did a good job of moving the storylines forward now that we’re past the first two episodes. The three titles for TNA have been introduced and have champions for them.

There is still a lot of awkwardness in the matches and a lot of guys who were put into spots they aren’t ready for in terms of in ring skill. I saw several awkward spots in just about every single match tonight. A lot it is probably because TNA is just starting and are using what’s available and what’s available are…the guys WWF/E doesn’t want or isn’t interested in at the moment, or the guys who were in WCW or ECW and didn’t want to work for WWE.

That said, it was a very good show.  The tag team tournament was really good, though the final match went a little long for my liking and was mostly all Jerry Lynn because Styles had JUST wrestled a fairly tough match not five minutes earlier.

Speaking of Styles, having seen how great he is in WWE, it was a surprise to me to see so many awkward spots in his match against David Young and I can’t say that all of it was Young’s fault. That said, Styles had only been in the business a few years and so some awkwardness is still going to happen.

The main event was really good, but it felt like someone was telling Jarrett to keep talking because the run time hadn’t be reached, but it put Jarrett over as a top heel, which he was needing.

One of the tough things about watching TNA from 2002 is seeing all the sexism and homophobia that was out there for everyone to see. I found myself very uncomfortable with several segments simply because things have changed so much in the past fifteen years, that being reminded of how things were is a little disconcerting.

Stinkers: Oh, that’s hard. I’d have to say that the Johnsons vs Storm and Harris was the worst.

Snoozers: Shamrock vs Malice. It was just very awkward and watching Shamrock, a legit badass, being tossed around was not entertaining.

Match of the Night: The Tag Team Final, even though it ran a little too long for my liking.

Final Thoughts: I really enjoyed this show and I’m intrigued to see what’s next.


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Chairshot Classics: WWE SummerSlam 2007

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The Twentieth edition of SummerSlam is here and it features three World Titles. John Morrison will clash with CM Punk for the ECW Title. John Cena faces off with Randy Orton in their first singles match for the WWE Strap. Oh yeah, there’s Batista/Khali too…

The Continental Airlines Arena in East Rutherford, New Jersey is jammed packed with a sold-out crowd of 17,441. The tickets for this SummerSlam went on sale December 30, 2016 and sold-out in forty minutes. This netted the WWE over a Million bucks in ticket sales alone. This number doesn’t include the other 537,000 Pay-Per-View buys that were 30 bucks a pop, either. The theme song for the evening is “Whine Up” by Kat DeLuna Feat. Elephant Man. Lets get to it and head into the arena because apparently “The Party is Over”.

The opening monologue is great and is the better we have had in a few years. It begins by highlighting the return of the Sultan of the 619, Rey Mysterio from injury. Next up is Batista challenging The Punjabi Nightmare and World Heavyweight Champion, The Great Khali. Next we see The Viper Randy Orton and his quest to take the WWE Title off of John Cena. Just as the narrator says “Get ready for the party of the summer” his voice is cut off and the screen burns up. Through the fire a video of Triple H being rebuilt like the Terminator begins. This is done to hype up the return of Triple H, who is also on his way back from Injury. It shows the build of his feud with the false king, King Booker. The Motorhead song, and Triple H’s theme, “King of Kings” plays as the video rolls on. Like I said, great opening here folks.

Michael Cole welcomes us in to the sold-out arena and introduces his SmackDown announce partner, John “Bradshaw” Layfield. They then turn it over to the Raw announce team of Jim Ross and Jerry “The King” Lawler. They then send it over to the ECW crew of Tazz and Joey Styles. They then send it back to the SmackDown guys who introduce the competitor in the first match Kane. Kane enters and has the ribs taped up. This is from a previous attack at the hands of Finlay and his Shillelagh. The entrance stag here is cool and looks like a 90’s Bash at the Beach set. His opponent is out next and Finlay wastes no time getting to the ring. This is a feud that was rushed together because Finlay spilled a cup of coffee on Kane. This is a common theme for this SummerSlam, as a lot of injuries occurred around this time.

Kane is quick with the first punch, an uppercut, and pounds Finlay into the corner. He whips Finlay into the ropes and drops him with a back elbow that he follows up with a dropped elbow. Kane scoopslams Finlay next and is already selling the rib injury. The momentum stays in Kane’s favor and he works Finlay with a lot of rope chokes. Of course the ref is there to break these, and Kane is growing frustrated with the ref for this. Finlay finally does something and catches Kane with a big boot after he is whipped to the corner. Finlay takes to the second rope but Kane smokes him with a right hand and Finlay falls to the outside. The clap from this right hand is loud and really looked to have landed solid. Kane joins Finlay on the outside and flattens him with a big boot before returning him to the ring. For some reason Kane tries to take to the top rope, but Finlay chops his leg out. This sends Kane crashing into the turnbuckle, ribs first. Finlay starts to stomp the ribs of Kane and eventually splashes onto them. This leads to a cover for Finlay, but Kane kicks it out. Finlay puts Kane in a single leg crab and starts to stretch the big man. Kane turns him over after some time and out of nowhere Kane nails Finlay with an enziguri. This gets the first real pop of the night from the fans and me as well.

Both men are slow to rise to their feet but Kane gets there first. He nails Finlay with a pair of uppercuts before landing a big boot that lays Finlay on his back. Kane whips Finlay into the corner and charges with a clothesline. He then picks Finlay up with one arm and gives him a sidewalk slam. Kane goes for the cover but Finlay gets the shoulder up at two. Kane takes to the skies and comes off the top rope with a diving lariat. The ribs are really bothering Kane at this point and both men are slow to regain their footing. Kane charges Finlay, who is in the corner, but Finlay dodges him and Kane collides with the turnbuckle. Finlay then delivers a leg drop to the ribs of Kane and attempts a cover. This is only a two and Finlay does a good job of selling the shock here. Finlay then leaves the ring and checks under it. The crowd really pops when the Cruiserweight Champion, and resident leprechaun, appears. Hornswoggle joins Finlay in the ring but as soon as they do Kane sits up in his usual fashion. When Kane is on his feet Hornswoggle runs from the ring and Kane catches Finlay with the big boot. Kane then leaves the ring and grabs the leprechaun, who is trying to escape back under the ring. Kane throws him into the ring ad tries for the double chokeslam. The rib injury is cause for problem here and is struggling to left them up. This opens the window for Finlay to kick the ribs and escape the grasp of Kane. He kicks the ribs a few more times and then hits Kane with a kneeling DDT. Finlay goes for a cover and Kane is still able to get a shoulder up. Finlay is frustrated and removes the turnbuckle cover. The ref comes over a puts it back on, but the distraction allows Finlay to bring his Shillelagh into the ring. Kane stops the attack with an uppercut and is now staring at the weapon. The ref grabs it first and turns his back to remove it. This is when Finlay rolls from the ring and is handed another one from under the ring and strikes Kane in the ribs with it. He then tries to steal the win with a roll-up pin but Kane manages to kick it out. Kane nails the chokeslam next and the fans count along as the ref bangs the three count. Not a fan of this opening match and it surely can be skipped over. Match Time-8:54

We see Jonathon Coachmen and he is joined by Vince McMahon and some of his lackeys. They include SmackDown GM, Teddy Long, Steven Regal and Alejandro. The men look to be in a room that is set-up for a Tiki Party. Coachmen tells Vince “This is party central” to which Vince replies “Four men. How can you have Party Central with four men? Where are the women?” MVP eventually joins the party and issues a non-wrestling match challenge to Matt Hardy. This is because MVP is unable to wrestle because he was diagnosed with a rare heart condition, Wolf-Parkinsons-White Syndrome. It was easily treated, but MVP just had to take a break from the ring to do so. This whole segment is straight goofy. Next.

We are back in the arena and Mr. Kennedy is quick to make his way to the ring. We get JR and The King back for this Triple Threat bout that is for the Intercontinental Championship. Mr. Kennedy takes to the mic and re-introduces himself to the fans and they react positively to this. The next challenger out is Carlito. Carlito has a few words for Kennedy before the Champion is introduced. Umaga makes his way to the ring, and this is another match that was just thrown together after the original plans fell through. Originally it was scheduled to be Umaga Vs. The MTV Jackass Crew. They backed out at that last minute due to not wanting to be associated with all the recent controversy surrounding the Chris Benoit situation. This would have included a boxing match between Hornswoggle and Wee Man. What could of been. The next plan also had to be scrapped, as Jeff Hardy was going to face Umaga for the Strap here, but he was sent home four days prior for thirty days. The reason being “Unspecified Violation of Company Policy.” Hmm…

Umaga makes quick work of the other two competitors with some big right hands. Kennedy rolls from the ring and Carlito is whipped to the corner. Carlito then rolls from the ring and starts to form a plan with Kennedy to take on Umaga together. Both men enter from opposite sides of the ring but this plan backfires and Umaga lays them both down with more right hands. Kennedy again rolls from the ring while Carlito is whipped to the corner. Kennedy grabs the foot of Umaga though and this allows Carlito to dropkick him out of the ring. Umaga falls to the floor and Kennedy uses a scissor kick to drive Umaga’s shoulder into the steps. Kennedy returns to the ring but Carlito is quick to roll him up for the pin. It looks like Carlito may get the three but the ref notices him using the rope for leverage so he stops the count. Both men hit their feet and Kennedy hits Carlito with a clothesline. Soon after Kennedy attempts a second one but this one Carlito ducks and lands a springboard back elbow. Carlito covers but only gets a two.

Kennedy eventually gets some offense in, and after a inverted side Russian leg sweep, Umaga is starting to stir on the outside. This doesn’t go unnoticed, and Kennedy attempts to baseball slide him. Umaga catches his foot and yanks him from the ring. After a quick beat down of Kennedy, Umaga returns to the ring and turns his attention on Carlito. He hits Carlito with a scoopslam and then comes off from the second turnbuckle with the diving headbutt. Carlito finds himself in the corner with Umaga charging him next. This backfires when Kennedy pulls Carlito from harms way and Umaga splashes into the turnbuckle. Kennedy then takes a monitor from the announce table and rams it into the top of Umaga’s head. When Kennedy tries to return to the ring Carlito sends him flying off the apron with a forearm. Carlito goes for a cover but the Samoan Bulldozer kicks out. Kennedy returns to the ring and once again Carlito convinces him they need to work together on this one. The double suplex fails them and Umaga lifts them both up for a suplex of his own. Umaga makes quick work of the two, hitting Carlito with a Samoan drop and Kennedy with a swinging sidewalk slam. He covers Kennedy, but Carlito is there to break it up. For this, Carlito is rewarded with a superkick that sends him flying into the corner. Umaga rams his ass into the face of Carlito before he charges at Kennedy. This doesn’t work out for Umaga, and Kennedy pulls the top rope down sending the big man crashing to the floor. He hits Carlito with the Green Bay Plunge and goes for a cover. Umaga re-enters the ring, though, and breaks it up. Umaga then hits Kennedy with the Samoan Spike and makes the cover. The ref counts the three and Umaga retains the IC Title. The match wasn’t good at all and is definitely worth hitting fast forward on. Match Time-7:35

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