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CheapShots: Thoughts From Christi (WWE Smackdown)

“Mad Man” Mike is back with his irreverent analysis on this week’s edition of WWE Smackdown Live as the Road to Money In The Bank continues!

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As I grab the day-tripper and make the quick jaunt over to Corpus Christi, I can’t help but wonder how The Patriarch and his boys would feel about the current show that is World Wrestling Entertainment? World Class ran spot shows here for the majority of two decades before Fritz’s kids were in the creative picture. Passion for fans around Dallas wasn’t cranked up to eleven yet, but the myths around the art form were still protected with cloak and dagger. Having never set foot in Texas, I can still verify the vibrations of old-school fans who were there. Newer fans worldwide react more to the show than they do to performers in it.

There is a two-sided coin present as SmackDown Live opens this week. Yes, the ladies get the prime chute spot on the card. Unfortunately, Vince McMahon’s lapse in judgement was on display as we had to stomach Carmella’s justification for having SmackDown Women’s Gold, and her circular logic that she will defeat Asuka at Money in The Bank. Ten minutes of my life I’ll never get back. Blondie Circus, I could’ve have saved you the trouble of reciting a script. Two reasons you’ll win in Chicago: Hormones and a calendar. Neither of which have anything to do with ability. Relax honey, you’re not losing until SummerSlam or Survivor Series. Go backstage, call your parents and thank them for good genetics. After that, try to cut a promo yourself.

Early and plentiful recess for this episode, yay! Vince’s perfect Champion did commentary on a handicap match between Asuka and the remnants of Absolution. Blondie Circus antagonized The Japanese Ace into taking the match with help from Rose & Deville on the ramp. Our GM Paige came out to ask Carmella’s next challenger who she wanted to face Tuesday Night. Her response: “Give me both!” The match was physical and solid. The tandem had the advantage early. Asuka did her best to keep separation between partners, as well as in the ring. Though, she had to deal with Carmella distracting her from outside. None of it mattered. The Rising Sun Mystic got a clean win when she put Deville in The Asuka Lock. Vince’s Champ got the last word because she jumped Asuka when the defeated duo wouldn’t leave ringside, YAWN!

Don’t worry, ladies trying to move the art form forward were also present Tuesday. The second dose of the better chromosome was administered as half of a mixed tag match. Jimmy Uso & Naomi took on Lana & Aiden English. Most fans are confused when reacting to Lana. Stanford continues to stunt her and Rusev on purpose. She is getting better in the ring. Though her interactions remain short. There was no way the heels were winning this. English is a perfect mouthpiece. But he doesn’t have the skills to carry her. The married couple went over and most of us continue to wonder why the other one is kept apart on camera.

Last lap around the playground was a contest between Charlotte Flair and Becky Lynch. The skills of both of these ladies haven’t been questioned since their time in NXT. They did nothing to disappoint here. This was a WRESTLING MATCH! Granted, there were a couple fun spots. Including one where each girl caught her opponent’s leg. Rather than taking double kicks, both just put the other’s leg down because they are friends for now. Charlotte had the edge late. She went for a Moonsault but got knees in the midsection from Becky instead. Second Nature’s instinct was still strong enough to attempt a Figure Eight. The close was fun. Never seen a counter like this. The Lass Kicker took control of Charlotte’s arm on the step-through, took her to the mat, and slapped The DisarmHer on for the victory. This may have been Charlotte’s first clean television loss since tapping out to Lady Banks in mid-August.

Sadly, recess is over. Here we go. Gallows & Anderson are next in line for a shot at SmackDown Tag Team Gold. If we flashback we can see that they are getting The Uso treatment minus the distraction. Anderson had a singles match with Harper of The Bludgeon Brothers. The big man was dominant, though he took a schoolboy and the loss. Guessing they will put on the opposite contest next week. Calling it now. If they flip the coin, Gallows & Anderson get The Gold. If they don’t. the Champs will keep it. I just hope it’s a decent offering in Chicago.

We then had a solid contract signing backstage making the Last Man Standing Match pitting AJ Styles against Shinsuke Nakamura official. For once the baby face took over one of these. After signing, Styles told his opponent to stop playing games. “You can’t beat me without the low blows…You speak English…” Naturally, Nakamura didn’t listen. Magically, the pen Styles just used lost ink in the transfer. The next one was broken and The Con Artist threw the the third at The Champ. Styles had to be escorted away in anger after slapping Shinsuke. The; and only then, did he sign the contract. “Last Man Standing.”

Earlier in the night, The New Day went into Mike’s locker room to troll him because why not? They said that he could choose which representative would partake in the men’s namesake match in two weeks. All he had to do was pick a name out of a hat. Too bad for Mike, he was busy talking and didn’t see The Unicorns switching out the hats. When Mike stuck his hand in to do the honors, he got pancake batter instead of paper! Other than his wife, who doesn’t love screwing with The Miz? PS: We still don’t know who will carry the banner for The New Day in Chicago.

As for the six-man tag featuring all possible combinations of the SmackDown contingent for The Men’s Namesake Match: It was a typical coin flip, though the heels got more offense in than expected. A late tag to Kofi Kingston opened the door for baby face high spots until Kingston was blind-sided. At this point, The New Day were all incapacitated outside the ring. However, Kofi was still legal. When he was being put back in the ring, Mike went to get pancakes to throw at him because wrestling. What happens now? Kofi is being held up by Rusev and Samoa Joe. He moves so Mike’s partners take breakfast in the face! Surprise, they’re both pissed. Rusev kicks him and Joe gives him a senton. The Miz is left alone to take the loss.

SmackDown is clearly the more consistent brand right now. This was a more scattered show than usual. I felt like the designated driver at a bachelor party. I remember most of it and it was still solid. Changing planes again. Headed to Call The Hogs! Woooo PIG SUEY, RAZORBACKS!


Always Use Your Head and visit the official Pro Wrestling Tees store for The Chairshot All t-shirt proceeds help support the advancement of your favorite hard-hitting wrestling website, The Chairshot!


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CheapShots: A Letter To WWE Fan Boys

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WWE

Stop. Just stop it. The over-positivity towards the WWE product is ridiculous. WWE is not the greatest thing on the planet right now. It is not all golden flowers and rainbows. Before I dive deep into all this let me say that I am a fan of WWE. But, I have enough sense to know that if it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, then guess what, it’s a duck. I have no problem on calling them on the BS and craziness that goes on from time to time. No, the product in not the best it has ever been. Scripted promos alone are enough to make me want to vomit. The stale characterization of the characters and the fact that they are all basically the same cookie cutter version of what a WWE superstar should be is ridiculous. Here are a few things that I am sick of hearing every single day.

image via WWE

Money, Money, Money.

WWE is a money making machine, there is no denying it. One thing that I am constantly hearing is “Oh well WWE is making more money now then they have ever had, so that means the product is the best ever!” Well…no…when a company goes public, and are the only wrestling game in town of course they are making money. You need to understand how business works. Do a quick search of WWE and just look into all the divisions of the company. Look at the subsidiaries that they own, along with the companies that they have invested in such as owning 50% of the brand TapOut. Wrestling is not there only sourcing of income, hence the entertainment in their name. WWE is constantly expanding, evolving, and venturing into other things that make money, hence why they are making more money now than ever before. Yes, they got a ton of money for Smackdown. But, you have to take into account that it was bought from a company that is selling their movie division and only have TV as a source of income. With less and less people streaming everything and no one watching TV anymore, of course stations are going to foam at the mouth to get a TV show that has been on as long as Smackdown has any type of ratings, and the sponsors that come along with it. That is just good business, but that does not justify the wrestling product that they are currently putting out.

Greatest Roster Ever

“The roster now is the best roster we have ever had in WWE.” Wake up Alice cause this is not Wonderland. Do you not remember the greatness that was the WWE roster of 2002, or were you even born yet? Here is a bit of that Roster, Hulk Hogan, Stone Cold, The Rock, Chris Jericho, Edge, Kurt Angle, Chris Benoit, Eddie Guerrero, Booker T, RVD, Rey Mysterio, Undertaker, Shawn Michaels, HHH, John Cena, Randy Orton, DDP, Ric Flair. I will just leave this here and wait for you to retract your ridiculous statement.

If you don’t like it then don’t watch it

Boy, am I sick and tired of hearing this poor attempt of retort. What are you 10? You can complain about something and guess what still watch it. I have never watched anything and never had only positive things to say about it. I can watch a NJPW match, and talk about how bad WWE is in comparison. Why? Because, it’s not a matter of me not liking WWE, Just because someone puts something down that you eat, sleep, and breathe doesn’t mean they don’t like it. The main reason people compare a NJPW match to what WWE is doing, isn’t just to bash it, but it is because we know how great WWE can be. Honestly, it sucks to see WWE out done, and I wish they would get their heads out of their asses and put on consistently great matches.

image via WWE

Stop being a Yes man.

You don’t have to hate on every aspect of WWE, positivity is a good thing. But when you like every single thing that WWE does you need to get your head checked. You need to utilize that WWE network subscription and go back and watch something other than the current product. There is good and bad in every generation of wrestling, but we are not living in the renaissance age, witnessing the 2nd coming of wrestling. So take a breath, and try to dislike something of the current product and stop being a corporate robot.


Always Use Your Head and visit the official Pro Wrestling Tees store for The Chairshot All t-shirt proceeds help support the advancement of your favorite hard-hitting wrestling website, The Chairshot!


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Are McIntyre, Lashley, And Roode WWE Top Guy Material?

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So there was a lot of buzz about Drew McIntyre and Bobby Lashley making their debuts on the Main Roster after WrestleMania. A lot of people have been predicting that McIntyre and/or Lashley were going to be Universal Champion before the year out, and even predicted that Lashley would be the one to unseat Brock Lesnar. The same has been said, to some degree, about Bobby Roode. Here’s the problem: The only way any of these guys going to get close to the Universal Title is if WWE has another plague of injuries.

Now, before you all get mad, hear me out. I’m not saying that McIntyre, Lashley, and Roode aren’t talented, because they are and their records speak for themselves. The problem is that WWE has a huge pool of talented guys on its Main Roster and a lot of established stars, which means McIntyre, Lashley, and Roode are likely going to spend their careers in the mid-cards, at least on RAW. They might have slightly better luck on SmackDown, but I wouldn’t bet everything on that pony either.

Let’s look at each guy and see what could possibly hold them back in WWE.

Drew McIntyre: McIntyre has a lot to recommend him, at least on paper. He’s got a great look and a lot of talent. His promos leave a little to be desired, but that’s not a dealbreaker on its own. The problem with McIntyre is that his gimmick hasn’t changed that much from his first run in WWE. His look isn’t that unique compared to other guys on the roster and neither is his moveset.

Bobby Lashley: Lashley’s pros are many: Great look, lots of talent, but his cons are going to be a real problem sooner than later. The biggest con is his total lack of a personality. He seems like a nice guy, but there is no real discernible personality that I can detect and that’s going to be just as big a problem now as it was back during his first WWE run.

Bobby Roode: Of the three guys in this article, Bobby Roode has the most sterling record. He’s a multi-time World Champion and Tag Champion before he came to NXT. He’s got a great look and a ton of talent, and he’s good on the mic. The problem with Roode is 1. His age, he’s 41. and 2. Roode is not a good WWE babyface. In TNA, he was at his best as a heel or tweener in singles and tag team, but I’m also not sure that turning him heel is going to help in WWE.

‘Wait’ I can hear you saying ‘All three of these guys were World Champions outside of WWE and/or in NXT. How can they not be destined to be Universal Champion or WWE Champion?’. Well, the simple answer is that the indy scene, NXT, and TNA have smaller pools of top tier talent, which makes it easier for talented guys that are usually relegated to the mid or low card in WWE to leapfrog straight to the top. Cody Rhodes is a prime example of that.

Again, I’m not denigrating the talents of any of these guys, or the guys coming up that are going to be in the same boat. What I am saying is that WWE has a top tier talent rich pool on RAW and SmackDown and guys like McIntyre, Lashley, and Roode are likely not going to get close to the top spot like they easily could outside WWE.


Always Use Your Head and visit the official Pro Wrestling Tees store for The Chairshot All t-shirt proceeds help support the advancement of your favorite hard-hitting wrestling website, The Chairshot!


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Cheap Shots: Is There Such Thing As The Face Of A Franchise?

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After Saturday’s match at Dominion and the final chapter (for now) in Okada Vs. Kenny Omega, it is now safe to say that Kenny Omega is truly the global face of NJPW. But is that true for every promotion? As a kid growing up watching wrestling in the 90’s it was Stone Cold Steve Austin that ran the WWE, in the 00’s it was John Cena, but there isn’t such a clear cut figure anymore for the WWE, Impact or ROH. Is there really a need for figure heads? In my opinion, the wrestling world has become so overly developed with new talent that its hard to pinpoint who is that face and there’s more of an opinion as to who that is.

The WWE want Roman Reigns to be that guy, but that’s a ship that has already sunk. Some say Seth Rollins and his run with the success of the Intercontinental Championship has made him the guy, and other may say that whoever AJ Styles goes, he is “the face that runs the place.” Impact has always struggled with finding that face, while Styles was there, he was it. Impact may have a suitable face in Eli Drake, being with the company since 2015. Surprisingly  Impact continue to look outwards for talent when the talent they have in house has proven to be effective.While ROH has had a swinging door of wrestlers that were once their staple player. The Young Bucks, Jay Lethal, or semi-newly acquired Cody could be considered for ROH.

In the 1980’s Hulk Hogan was that guy, he was that guy to a lot of people. He spear headed WWE into more than just being a wrestling program, but in being a significant part of pop culture. It has only been in recent years that wrestling has blurred the lines between a wrestling program and a part of this pop culture bubble we live in. With Twitter and Instagram, wrestlers have a bigger platform to connect with fans. Total Divas turned the Bellas and now The Miz and company into reality TV sensations. The Young Bucks have used Youtube to produce their “Being The Elite” series and they have created an empire without the letters WWE in front of their names. The world of wrestling and pop culture has become intertwined with one another that fans have gotten to choose who they want to be the face of their favourite programming. That is the thing that WWEs creative is missing. It isn’t about who you build up to be this powerhouse anymore. There’s so much talent and so many means to watch it that I think it’s impossible to build a franchise figure as much as the WWE want to believe. 

So what makes Kenny Omega different? He wasn’t pushed in the sense that he wasn’t involved in every match in every storyline. He organically grew as a fan favourite with Ibushi and eventually with the Bullet Club he had a storyline that spanned out over a few year and his rise to the top is like the ending of movie, but it was built slowly and surely. 

So are we being blinded by this idea that there needs to be a face that runs a franchise that wrestling has created? In a sense, yes. But as the wrestling landscape changes, so do the fans, essentially the promotions should catch on, but until then we’ll all be debating who is hat where for the foreseeable future. 


Always Use Your Head and visit the official Pro Wrestling Tees store for The Chairshot All t-shirt proceeds help support the advancement of your favorite hard-hitting wrestling website, The Chairshot!


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