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Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Live Report! (6/26/18)

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After being made an example of by the King of Strong Style, something has awoken within the Charismatic Enigma, and it’s hungry for revenge! Can Jeff Hardy get back at Shinsuke Nakamura while retaining his United States Championship? Plus, Miz TV will have the SmackDown Tag Team Champions as the special guests!

 

All images courtesy of the WWE’s official Twitter

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Xavier w/ The New Day VS Rusev w/ Aiden English; Rusev wins.
  • WWE United States Championship Open Challenge: Jeff Hardy VS Shinsuke Nakamura Eric Young; Young wins by disqualification, Hardy retains the WWE US Championship.
  • Six Man Tag: SAnitY VS Jeff Hardy & The Usos; Hardy & The Usos win.
  • Becky Lynch VS Sonya Deville w/ Mandy Rose; Becky wins.
  • Daniel Bryan VS Harper w/ Rowan; Bryan wins, by disqualification.

PLAY BY PLAY

SmackDown opens with Miz TV!

The Most Must-See Talk Show in WWE has fans chanting “Daniel Bryan!” Miz asks them, “Are you done?” That aside, Miz kicks off his show by introducing “actual soul-devouring” real-life monsters, it’s The SmackDown Tag Team Champions, The Bludgeon Brothers! Harper & Rowan appear and make their way to the ring. They then stand across from The Miz, intimidating as always.

Fans actually cheer, and Miz says that these three actually have something in common: they all proved how easy it is to “dismantle” Daniel Bryan. Miz’s agenda was crystal clear, but we’re all wondering why these two attacked. Why, 2B, why? Fans cheer for Bryan while Harper & Rowan are scarily stoic. Miz tries to silence the fans, to keep them from disrespecting the tag champions. Miz understands these two strong silent types, but to explain it to the fans, here is the “feature presentation.”

Daniel Bryan was all set to face anyone in the Gauntlet, but that was just Act One. Not that these two would understand that. Miz doesn’t mean to insult them, but he’s just saying, Bryan was the overconfident protagonist who was “about to get a rude awakening.” Cut to Act Two: Harper & Rowan defeating The Club, only to be met on the ramp by Daniel Bryan. It was all coincidence of their match ending and his match beginning, but it seems like there was some offense taken. Miz frames it as such, Bryan is a “glory hound” and he can’t stand it when someone else has the spotlight. He tries to steal their thunder, but then, the plot twist. Daniel Bryan is actually our villain! Yes, he is the villain!

And Miz’s favorite part is in Act Three: the BLUDGEON BOMB! This of course allowed Miz to easily defeat Bryan and move on, but he ignores that part. Miz wants the fans to cheer for that! The Bludgeon Brothers are award winning supporting actors, maybe even the new Miztourage. Well maybe not that far, but– Harper slaps the mic out of Miz’s hand… Then both Harper & Rowan move in on Miz. But to the rescue, it’s Daniel Bryan! What a shocker! Bryan is stealing the spotlight again. Bryan tells Miz to shut up. Harper, Rowan, you two cost Bryan a shot at the WWE Championship. But their size isn’t as important as heart.

Bryan is not afraid of Harper & Rowan, or The Miz who cowers behind them. Bryan just wants to know who is up first. Harper says Bryan never learns. But he’s gonna learn, tonight. Is that Harper accepting the challenge?

 

The New Day gets their pancakes turned into milkshakes!

Mr. Bootysworth serves up a pancake-shake, and the New Day is pumped up! They’re ready to take on the new #1 Contender to the WWE Championship, Rusev!

Xavier w/ The New Day VS Rusev w/ Aiden English!

The Bulgarian Brute is now the #1 Contender after winning the SmackDown Gauntlet last week. But with Extreme Rules still weeks away, he needs to keep up momentum. Can he defeat the brains of the most positive trio in the WWE? Or will his momentum be stopped so soon after his triumph?

MC Artiste English comes out and the fans chant “Rusev Day!” English sings a question for Xavier. “Do you have a waffle? Because everyone here thinks your pancakes are awful~!” The Brute’s going to wear you out like a toupee, and hopefully AJ Styles is watching so that he’ll know he’s losing on… RUSEV DAAAAY~! Rusev himself appears, and the match begins.

Woods and Rusev circle while fans chant “Rusev Day!” Woods gets a headlock, but can’t get the takedown. Rusev powers out and runs Woods over! Rusev stomps Woods to the ropes, then whips, but Woods kicks Rusev back. Woods chops, throws hands, then runs, but into a tilt-o-whirl headscissors. Big E speaks for Rusev via speech bubble.

And a fitting choice as Woods dropkicks Rusev into the ropes! Woods clubs on Rusev, then whips him corner to corner. Rusev reverses but runs into a boot. Woods rolls, but Rusev SPINEBUSTERS the Honor Roll down. Cover, TWO, and Woods rolls to ropes while we go picture in picture.

Rusev stalks Woods, then drags him up to throw him out. Rusev keeps on Woods as he bumps him off the announce desk. He then puts Woods into barriers, and into the ring. Cover, TWO, but Rusev grabs Woods by the hair to drive in elbows. Rusev wraps Woods into a chinlock, but Woods endures as the New Day and fans rally for him. Woods stands, hits body shots then a dropkick. Woods runs in, but into a boot! He goes down in a heap while Rusev walks it off. Rusev drags Woods back up, then kicks the legs out until Woods sits down. Rusev reels Woods into a roundhouse! He glares at Kofi & Big E before toying with Woods. They go to a corner and Woods hits back with body shots. Woods runs, but into a back elbow!

Rusev looms over Woods, and drags him up while fans rally. Rusev throws forearms into Woods’ back, and Woods doubles over. Now Rusev shoves Woods, but Woods hits back on the rebound! Woods throws haymakers, then runs, but into a bearhug. Rusev squeezes Woods tight, but Woods endures. We go back to single picture as Woods gives ear claps and haymakers. Woods frees himself, then jawbreakers Rusev back. Rusev gets up but Woods counters with more haymakesr and even kicks. Woods chops, chops and chops, then whips. Rusev reverses but Woods dodges and slides under to hit the roaring elbow! Woods runs in, but Rusev puts him on the apron. Woods kicks Rusev back, then springboards in for the DDT! Cover, TWO!

English is relieved, because he knows Rusev’s tougher than that. Fans chant for Rusev Day, but Woods drags Rusev up for a fireman’s carry! But Rusev fights out, only for Woods to throw forearms. Rusev knees low but Woods ducks the roundhouse to SUPERKICK! Woods runs, but into a Samoan Drop! Cover, TWO! Rusev keeps his cool while Woods crawls for ropes. He puts Woods on the top rope, throws hands, then climbs up. Woods fights back with body shots and sends Rusev down. Woods adjusts but Rusev corners him. Rusev runs in, but into a post as Woods evades! Woods hurries to a corner and the top rope. Woods walks the ropes, but has to land on his feet. They speed up, and Woods slides again, but spins into a roundhouse! MACHKA KICK! Rusev is fired up, “Rusev, MACHKA!” Accolade! Woods taps, Rusev wins!

Winner: Rusev, by submission

The Super Athlete is laser focused towards a singular obsession: become WWE Champion! Rusev speaks, “Tonight was not about Xavier Woods.” Not about trombones, pancakes, Booty-O’s or whatever. This is about AJ Styles! Styles is scared, which he proved by punching English out last week. Fans duel between Styles and Rusev Day, but this is just a preview of Extreme Rules. Rusev will break down the door on the House AJ Styles Built, and when he wins, it’ll be a phenomenal Rusev Day!

 

Jeff Hardy speaks.

Adrenaline coursing through his veins, heightening his awareness and threshold for pain while clarifying his vision. The Charismatic Enigma is ready to take flight, and fight. What has Shinsuke Nakamura awoken within the US Champion? However, Nakamura is not medically cleared to compete this week, so Hardy will have to wait for revenge. But being a fighting champion, Hardy issued an open challenge! Who will accept?!

 

Naomi & Lana are backstage arguing.

The Glowbug and the Ravishing Russian are still not over their dance-off controversy. But they encounter the cast of GLOW!

The Glamorous Ladies of Wrestling are here, and are so excited to #FeelTheGlow! Naomi loves Allison Brie’s own Russian persona. Lana should not be the sad, they are both Ravishing Russians. They could even be sisters. Well yes, that’s a good accent, for a peasant. Zoya is no peasant, she’s a warrior! The cast of GLOW loved their dance off, they should be partners instead of opponents. Yeah, but Lana is tripping. Lana didn’t fall. Thta’s not what she meant. But Naomi admits Lana is a good dancer, too. Maybe they can be ravishing together while snatching opponents bald? Then everyone will #FeelTheGlow!

WWE United States Championship Open Challenge: Jeff Hardy VS ???

Hardy is #ImmuneToFear, so he does not fear the possibility of losing. The challenge has been issued, and the superstar to accept is… a member of SAnitY! But which member? Eric Young, Alexander Wolfe & Killian Dain all come out together. They all hit the ring, but it’s Eric Young who enters.

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we begin. Eric goes right after Hardy with clubbing hands. He clubs and stomps Hardy in a corner while Wolfe & Big Damo taunt the champ. Eric whips Hardy but Hardy reverses, so Eric tumbles up and out to the apron. He slides back in under Hardy, but Hardy catches him with a kick. Hardy hits a partial Twist of Fate stunner, then climbs up top. Eric bails out, regroups with SAnitY, and we go to break.

SmackDown returns and Eric has Hardy in a neck wrench. Hardy stands up, fights out and runs, but into a back elbow. Cover, TWO, and Eric is frustrated. Eric stalks Hardy to a corner, climbs up, and drags Hardy into a hangman dragon sleeper! He lets go at 4, then drops ax handles. Cover, TWO! Eric grins, he knows he’s in control. He drags Hardy up and tries to spin Hardy’s head off! Eric stalks Hardy while fans rally. Eric does it again, and the referee checks on Hardy. Hardy refuses to quit, so Eric drags him back up for a chinbar. Hardy endures while fans continue to rally, and he fights out of the hold. Eric throws him down by his hair, cover, TWO! Back to the chinbar and neck wrench.

Hardy endures the twisting and wrenching, and the fans rally again. He stands up, fights out again, then whips. Eric reverses, and hard! Cover, TWO, but Eric doesn’t lose focus. Eric stomps on Hardy, then brings Hardy up. Hardy fights back, backs Eric to a corner, then whips. Eric reverses again, but Hardy is ready this time, and he rolls Eric up as he comes in. TWO, and Eric clobbers Hardy! Cover, TWO, and now Eric is frustrated. Eric declares himself the new champion as he stomps on Hardy. He drags Hardy up, then twists the neck more. Hardy endures while fans rally again. Hardy stands up and jawbreakers out! Eric staggers, and Hardy throws hands. Hardy whips but Eric reverses again, only for Hardy to rally. Atomic drop to leg-splitting leg drop, and dropkick! Cover, TWO!

Hardy keeps focus, he calls for another Twist. He kicks, but Eric slips out, double clotheslines wipe them both out! Fans rally while both men stir. But wait, it’s the Usos!  Jimmy & Jey want some payback for last time, and SAnitY is willing to give it. It’s an explosion of a brawl on the outside!

Eric jumps out to join in, bringing Jey in. Jey tackles, the match is thrown out!

Winner: Eric Young, by disqualification; Hardy retains the WWE US Championship

But just because the match is over, doesn’t mean the fight is! Hardy & The Usos fight SAnitY all over the ring! Jimmy & Jey run over Damo & Wolfe while Hardy holds onto Eric. They all work together to dump Eric out, and we go to break while the chaos calms down.

 

Six Man Tag: SAnitY VS Jeff Hardy & The Usos!

Holla holla, the SmackDown GM Paige clearly followed in Teddy Long’s footsteps to make the brawl into a match! Can Hardy help The Usos get that revenge they’re after?

SmackDown returns as Jimmy fights off Big Damo with body shots and a jawbreaker. Hot tag to Jey! Jey leaps over the Beast of Belfast, then hits Wolfe & Eric just because. Jey builds speed while dodging Damo, but still gets caught by the Divide! Damo’s big crossbody flattens Jey underneath! Damo glares down at Jey as he stomps him at the ropes. He scrapes Jey out while tagging Wolfe, and Wolfe rams Jey into barriers, then flapjacks him on the apron. Wolfe puts Jey back in the ring, covers, TWO. Wolfe tags to Eric, and Eric hops up while Wolfe gives a gutbuster, and Eric adds an elbow drop! Cover, TWO, and Eric is upset again. Eric wrenches Jey’s neck now, like he was to Hardy earlier.

Fans rally while Jey stands up and fights back. Jey runs but Eric runs him over. Eric stomps Jey, then pulls him into the ropes for a choke. Jimmy protests, but that leaves Jey open to Damo’s cheap shot stomp. Eric drags Jey up, then tags in Damo. Damo gives a boot to the ribs, then stalks Jey to a corner. He brings Jey up and suplexes him down. Cover, TWO! Damo keeps on Jey with a neck wrench of his own. Fans rally and Jey gets up. Jey throws body shots, then an uppercut. Damo shoves Jey but Jey hits SAnitY. Jey leaps but Damo intercepts. Damo rocks Jey with an uppercut, then does the same to Jimmy. Jey ends up in SAnitY’s corner, and Damo squashes him with the corner splash. Eric tags in, and Damo holds Jey in place for Eric to rock him with a right.

Eric drags Jey up, suplex, but Jey lands on his feet! Jey shoves Eric out of the ring, but he’s still far away from Hardy! He leaps to tag, but Eric trips Hardy! Jey is isolated as Eric drops elbows. Eric tags in Damo and brings Jey up. They double whip Jey into the corner, then Damo whips Eric in. Jey puts Eric out, then dodges to send Damo into the post! Jimmy returns, and Jey heads to his brother. Hot tag to Jimmy just as Wolfe tags in. Jimmy rallies, pop lock uppercut! Then, Samoan Drop! Jimmy is fired up while Wolfe gets to a corner. He runs in, but Wolfe put shim on the apron. Jimmy punches Wolfe away, big crossbody! TWO!

Jimmy takes aim, but Wolfe blocks the superkick. Jimmy still hits the dragon whip! Then he gets the hip attack! Jimmy covers, but Eric breaks it with an elbow outta nowhere! Hardy dropkicks Eric out, but Damo throws Hardy out. SUPERKICK from Jey, but Damo stays up. Jey SUPERKICKS Eric away, but Damo grabs Jey. Jimmy SUPERKICKS, but Damo stays up, so DOUBLE SUPERKICKS send him out. The fans and Usos fire up, Jimmy holds the ropes for Jey to FLY! But Wolfe rolls up, TWO! Wolfe German Suplexes Jimmy but Hardy tags in. SUPERKICK from Jimmy, then Hardy climbs up! SWANTON BOMB!

Cover, Hardy & the Usos win!

Winners: Hardy & The Usos, Hardy pinning

The Uso Crazy Enigma trio succeeds in curtailing the chaos! Will SAnitY come back for more? Will Hardy be able to get his revenge on Nakamura in the near future?

 

The Lass Kicker fires up.

She’s so focused for her match, she almost hits one of the staff. Her match with the Gladiator Gal approaches, will she burn her up with #StraightFire?

Becky Lynch VS Sonya Deville w/ Mandy Rose!

The duo formerly known as Absolution found humor in Becky’s supposed comeback story. Becky dared one of them to step up and get their arm ripped off, so here we are.

The bell rings and the two circle. Sonya swings kicks but Becky ducks and dodges each of them, to then sweep the leg. Sonya out at One, and the two grin. They tie up, and Becky bends Sonya back. Sonya bridges, but Becky covers, ONE. Sonya stands back up, and she knees low. She runs and runs Becky over with a shoulder. She and Mandy embrace the heat, then cover, but Becky slips out even before a count. Becky mule kicks the shocked Sonya, then waistlocks. Sonya bucks her off, then mule kicks back. Sonya waistlocks to a takedown, then again. Becky headlocks and spins around to a waistlock. Sonya standing switches, but Becky runs and tosses Sonya off. Mandy coaches Sonya up while calming her down. Sonya drags Becky out and goes to throw her at the announce desk, but Becky turns that around and sends Sonya over!

Becky returns to the ring and dares Sonya to return while we go picture in picture. Mandy and Sonya regroup, then Sonya returns. Becky is right on her with a drop toehold to roll, TWO. Sonya kicks low, then rolls Becky, TWO. Sonya grabs Becky in a facelock, but Becky stands up. Becky reverses and whips, then follow to dropkick Sonya down. Sonya bails out while Becky fires up. Becky sees Sonya regroup with Mandy again, so she slides out. Sonya and Mandy get clear, and Sonya rams Becky into the apron. Sonya then throws Becky into barriers, and embraces the heat. She talks Becky, then puts her back in the ring. Sonya covers, TWO, and she grows a bit frustrated.

Sonya kicks Becky against ropes while we return to single picture. She throws body shots, kicks and knees, then wraps Becky in body scissors and a chinlock. Becky endures the squeeze and grind, and fans rally up. She makes it a cover, TWO, but then SPINEBUSTER. Cover, TWO! Mandy is frustrated for Sonya, but Sonya toys with Becky. Becky hits back with European Uppercuts, but ends up in a backslide. TWO, and Sonya rocks her with a heel kick. Cover, TWO, and Sonya puts Becky back in the body scissors. Becky endures again as Sonya puts on the chinlock. Fans rally and Becky feeds off the energy. She stands up, Sonya rocks her with a right and puts her in the corner. Sonya runs in, but misses, and Becky responds with a jump kick!

Becky runs, and rallies on Sonya with lariats! Calf kick dropkick on top, then a handspring. Becky uses a Becksploder and throws Sonya, cover, TWO! Becky keeps her cool as she runs in at Sonya, but that knee drives Becky right down! Cover, TWO! Sonya goes for a high stack, TWO. Sonya runs, but she misses the knee, and Becky hits a forearm. Cover, TWO. Becky keeps going, bringing Sonya up and going after the arm. Sonya pushes her off, rolls up, holds the gear, TWO! Step-up enziguri! Sonya crawls to a cover, TWO! Becky gets to a corner, and Sonya runs in, but into a boot. Becky hops up but Mandy distracts so Sonya can yank Becky off. Cover, TWO!

Sonya rains down rights while Mandy shouts for Becky to give up. But Becky yanks Sonya into Mandy! Then she yanks Sonya into Disarm-Her! Sonya taps, Becky wins!

Winner: Becky Lynch, by submission

The Lass Kicker’s comeback continues! Can she heat up even more this Summer and make it back to the SmackDown Women’s Championship?

 

James Ellsworth prepares backstage.

And by “prepare”, he really just puts on an Asuka mask. But then he encounters the Perfect Ten, Tye Dillinger! Sup, ya boy’s back. No no no. That mask is more of a ten. Wait, “Todd”, he’s a ten, right? No, put down a hand. So, a five? No, put down like four fingers. That’s you. A one?! Yep! Well, Ellsworth still thinks of himself as number one, but what will Ellsworth do after the break?

 

Andrade “Cien” Almas & Zelina Vega speak.

El Idolo sent a message to Sin Cara when he put Sin Cara on the shelf. But why is there on other competition? Is everyone else afraid? They should be. Get the message and stay out of their way, “if you know what’s good for you.”

 

James Ellsworth heads to the ring.

Ya boy Jimmy L is back again to once again do the bidding of “the greatest woman ever”, Carmella. That includes him taking the bullet for Carmella last week against Asuka, it seems. But he says there are two types of men in the world: the kind who wear sandals, graduate high school, and “talk about their feelings”; then the real men like Ellsworth! Men who stand up for their beliefs! Asuka ruined the Mellabration and attacked him for no reason. But that’s okay, because Asuka is here tonight. So listen up “babe”, this is a man’s world, and when you mess with a bull, you get the horns! Now before you blow up his Twitter getting all triggered, Ellsworth lets everyone know he loves and respects women. His love life is so hot, you could fry an egg on it. And the feeling is mutual, wink wink.

But Asuka, there’s no love lost between them. Nor is there respect. Ellsworth wasn’t ready last week, but now that his shirt’s off, he’s ready this week! Try it again, Asuka, he dares you! Ellsworth waits, and fans hope she shows up, too. That and hopefully he puts his shirt on. Instead, it’s the GM, Paige!

She asks Ellsworth what he’s doing. He knows full-well Asuka is not here, because Ellsworth was asking the entire time where Asuka went. And when he found out Asuka was back home in Japan, that’s when he decided to come out and pull this stunt. But since he’s here, let’s get to business. Ellsworth’s appearance at MITB warrants love and respect for Asuka, from Paige. Carmella WILL defend her SmackDown Women’s Championship at Extreme Rules against Asuka! That’s funny, everyone knows Asuka doesn’t’ deserve that rematch. But is that all she’s got? Or is it… Is she out here because she wants to go out with him? Fans already know the answer to that. Paige plays along and says yes, so how does next Tuesday sound? Y-Yes! Okay shush. See you there.

But um, it’s not a date with Paige. No. And it’s not a date, but a match. With ASUKA!! Ellsworth’s words will come to haunt him, because he messed with a bull, and now he gets the horns. Will Ellsworth get gored by the Empress of Tomorrow?

 

Bryan warms up with the help of the Good Brothers.

Gallows & Anderson know what it’s like to go up against Harper & Rowan, so they can give good advice. Will their hints and tips help The Goat overcome one half of the duo of doom?

 

Daniel Bryan VS Harper w/ Rowan!

The Bludgeon Brothers claim they’re trying to teach the Grand Slam Champion Goat a lesson the hard way, but have not explained what the lesson is about. Will Harper get it through to Bryan by breaking him? Or will Bryan prove the bigger heart trumps the bigger man?

The bell rings, and Harper immediately powers Bryan to a corner. Harper uppercuts, then throws Bryan out. Rowan lurks but Bryan gets away. Harper chases and corners Bryan but Bryan slips out to kick away. Harper rocks Bryan with a right, then throws him back out. Bryan gets back in, builds speed, and dropkicks, but Harper catches him to drag him out and put him into barriers. Harper drags Bryan up for chops, then brings him around the corner to scoop him. Bran slips out and shoves Harper into posts. Bryan kicks away, then goes back into the ring to kick Harper on reentry. He kicks and kicks, then wrenches, but Harper decks him with a forearm. Harper rakes and hooks the face of Bryan, then puts him in a half-clutch.

Bryan endures being bent back, and fans rally. Harper rakes the face again, but Bryan chops and kicks back. Harper hits another uppercut, then brings Bryan up. He pushes but Bryan kicks back. Bryan dumps Harper out, then builds speed to DIVE! But Harper catches him, to throw him at the announce desk!

Harper lines up a shot, and boots Bryan into the timekeeper’s area! Bryan is down, but we go to break.

SmackDown returns and Harper has Bryan in a chinlock. Fans rally and Bryan feeds off the energy. Bryan fights back, but Harper knees low. Harper has Bryan in a corner, then chops him again. Bryan gets to another corner, but Harper is upon him. Harper whips him corner to corner, but Bryan goes up and over. Bryan runs, dodges, but runs into a scrapbuster! Cover, TWO! Harper grows a bit frustrated, but he’s still calm because he has control. He sits Bryan up to clobber him in the back. Harper grinds his foot into Bryan, then slingshots with the senton atomico! Cover, TWO, so it’s back to a chinlock. Harper also traps an arm, so it’s half straitjacket. Fans rally again, and Bryan gets up again. Bryan jawbreakers out, but Harper clubs and clamps on again!

Harper keeps Bryan on the mat, but fans keep rallying. Bryan stands up, fights out, but Harper rocks him with another right. Harper takes aim, runs in, but into a boot! Bryan runs and dropkicks the arm. Bryan runs corner to corner, for a big dropkick! Then another! He tries one more time, but runs into a scoop Michinoku driver! Cover, TWO! Harper keeps focus, and stands up. He brings Bryan up by his hair to club and clamp on again. Harper brings Bryan backward into the body scissors. Bryan endures while fans rally again. Bryan gets loose, then stands back up for more body shots. He kicks the leg, then the bad arm. “YES! YES!” but Bryan runs into Harper’s dropkick!

Harper gets feeling in his arm while Bryan gets to a corner. Harper brings Bryan up and chops him swiftly. Bryan staggers but chops back. Harper headbutts Bryan down then stalks him to a corner. Harper chops Bryan again, then hoists him up top. He chops more, then climbs up to join Bryan. Bryan resists, sends Harper down, then fights with haymaker after haymaker! Tornado DDT! Both men are down, but Bryan is firing up. Bryan stands to give YES Kicks! “YES! YES!” over and over. He prepares the buzzsaw, but Harper mule kicks him back. Harper brings Bryan up, but Bryan slips out to a roll up, TWO. Harper misses the discus, Bryan goes after the bad arm! They go around, YES Lock is on!! Rowan attacks!

Winner: Daniel Bryan, by disqualification

Rowan throws hands and body shots, then stomps away. Harper comes back to give knees, then Rowan gives more stomps. They stand Bryan up, and Harper slaps Rowan to fire him up. Rowan whips Harper in for a big back elbow! And Rowan adds the crossbody! The Bludgeon Brothers aren’t done with Bryan, they drag him back up. Harper climbs, but fire and brimstone! It’s KANE!!

The Big Red Machine has returned! And he’s saving his old Team Hell No partner! Kane stands toe to toe with both Harper & Rowan, but no one backs down. Kane throws hands! He boots Harper down, then grabs each of them with a hand. They kick back, but Bryan flies in to double dropkick them! KNEE PLUS for Rowan! Then for Harper, the CHOKE SLAM! The Bludgeon Brothers retreat, and fans chant “Welcome back!” for the Devil’s Favorite Demon. Bryan himself isn’t so sure if Kane is a friend or foe. But fans hope for it as they chant “Team Hell No!” Bryan and Kane approach each other, and fans chant “Hug it out!” Kane steps forward, and offers a hug! Bryan isn’t sure about that. But then, after thinking about it, he accepts!

Team Hell No is back together! Paige won’t let this moment slip through her fingers. Extreme Rules will see a SmackDown Tag Team Championship match, The Bludgeon Brothers VS Team Hell No! That deserves a Hell “YES! YES!” And as if the answer isn’t obvious, will they take those titles from Harper & Rowan?

 


 

My Thoughts:

What an all-around fun SmackDown. There were some changes to what I remember being announced this morning, but SmackDown still adjusted to them well. Nakamura may actually be hurt enough to take a week off, but it was a great shift to have SAnitY appear and bring in The Usos for the “impromptu” Six Man Tag. That was a great match, and it’s fine that Hardy & Usos go over, SAnitY is still new and yet is used more than AoP or Revival have since their call-ups. Then I thought it was to be Becky VS Peyton for the possible IIconics sweep, but perhaps something changed. Becky VS Sonya still turns out great, and either way, Becky wins to keep herself going strong.

Woods VS Rusev was a solid opener, and Rusev wins to stay strong for Extreme Rules. I’m sure Styles will get a chance to respond in some way next week since he was absent today. The GLOW cast shows up mostly as a catalyst to Naomi & Lana thinking about a team-up, and if SmackDown is the show that starts a WWE Women’s Tag Division, it does make a lot of sense for Naomi & Lana to be a dancing duo to go against IIconics and Sonya-Mandy. I’m surprised WWE is going with a co-ed match, but it makes sense for it to be Asuka VS Ellsworth, mostly on story. And for anyone who is worried, it won’t be “Oh no, that guy should stop beating her up” to “Damn, Asuka just kicked his teeth in.”

Almas & Vega have a good point: just because Sin Cara is “out”, doesn’t mean Almas should be off TV. Put him in a match with someone, like Hardy or Dillinger. Maybe that can start next week while we still wait on Nakamura to return for Hardy or Sin Cara to return at all. Bryan VS Harper was set up perfectly via Miz TV, and their match was incredible. While SmackDown copies Raw with “great main event is ruined by interference”, SmackDown does it better because of who comes out to save Bryan: KANE~! I was hoping for this last week, and I’m so glad we got it this week. Nothing against Harper & Rowan, but I hope Team Hell No wins the titles at Extreme Rules as a last hurrah for Kane before he truly retires.

My Score: 8.5/10


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Coverage

WWE 24/7 Championship Results & Report! (4/10/21)

BEHOLD! The Night Panther!!

Published

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NEW 24/7 Championship

It’s the epic conclusion to the Legend of the Night Planter!

Mild-mannered Old Spice salesman, Joseph Average, finds himself in the middle of an incredible WWE 24/7 Championship prophecy! But is he hero or villain?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • WWE 24/7 Championship Picnic Panic: R-Truth VS Akira Tozawa & Night Panther; Truth retains the title.

PLAY BY PLAY

R-Truth is having a picnic.

“This is just not your ordinary picnic. We eatin’ good.” And after spraying some Old Spice Night Panther, they’re smellin’ good, too! But Akira Tozawa is sneaking up to snatch Truth’s snacks! Truth goes to reach for some, sees Tozawa, and Tozawa says, “Say cheese~!” What’s Tozawa doing at Truth’s picnic?! And with Ninja Referee (Drew Gulak) and the Night Panther! Truth finds he’s outnumbered! Tozawa and Ninja Ref Gulak grab Truth, and Truth says, “Oh no! Say it ain’t so, Joe!” He went from Average Joe, to Average Ninja! But if you go full ninja, you go evil. But, Joe’s not evil…

Tozawa shouts, “ATTACK!” But stand back, there’s a Hurricane comin’ through! A hurricane? Truth’s insurance covers that. But what is he doing here? What’s he doing here? Everyone knows that hurricanes and night panthers are mortal enemies. Truth confirms. And yet, here Joe is, ruining Truth’s picnic with his baby. Wazzupwiththat?! Night Panther, attack!! Night Panther punches at Hurricane but is blocked and counter punched! Truth breaks free of the kung-fu grip, and hurries with Hurricane to the Truth Cave! AWAY~!

The ninjas pick themselves up and Tozawa blames Night Panther for this. But he tried…! Tozawa takes away Night Panther’s seemingly endless blackbelt. Was this Yokozuna sized? But Tozawa doesn’t care what the prophecy says, Joseph Average is NOT the Night Panther! The “HAH! HAH! HAH!” turns into laughter at Joe’s failure, and Joe runs away in shame. Ninja Ref Gulak tries to talk with Tozawa but he won’t hear it. Will Tozawa ever get the 24/7 Championship away from Truth? Will Joseph Average redeem himself? Or is there truly someone else who the Night Panther mantle is meant for?


My Thoughts:

Not quite as conclusive as I thought, but this was a pretty great next part to this story with Eric Bugenhagen, aka Ricky Buge, aka The Buge, now Joseph “The Night Panther” Average, who may not even be the Night Panther anymore. I like that we got The Hurricane in this, and if it weren’t for the divide of WWE and AEW, I would love if the cinematic wrestling universe got Matt Hardy involved with this title. Having a brand deal feels right up the “Big Money Matt” gimmick’s alley. I hope Buge returns and proves himself as the Night Panther, or even just as Joseph Average. This is the kind of fun this title needs to be having either way.


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Andrew’s AJPW Champion Carnival Results & Match Ratings: 4.10.2021

Day 2 of my fill in stint covering the AJPW Champion Carnival! Can Suwama get in the winner’s column? Can the Ace Kento get on the board? Does anyone pull away so early?

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Day 2 of my fill in stint covering the AJPW Champion Carnival! Can Suwama get in the winner’s column? Can the Ace Kento get on the board? Does anyone pull away so early?

Given the fact the incumbent champion lost his first round, the ace lost and there were a few main event players that picked up hard fought wins but don’t have an easy day today, this should be interesting. What kind of tournament are we looking at?

Since the tournament is 1 block, each person gets 9 matches, similar to the G1. So using G1 logic, 2 losses puts you on the bubble of being out, and 3 losses is basically death with the exception of weird breakers or fun rock/paper/scissors situations.

So for everyone’s sake, let’s hope we end up at mostly parity to continue to keep everyone alive for most of this single block tournament!

Ratings:

  • Yuma Aoyagi vs Shotaro Ashino: Aoyagi wins via End Game @9:22 – ** ¾
  • Kohei Sato vs Koji Doi: Doi wins via Murder Lariat @4:52 – * ½
  • Shuj Ishikawa vs Zeus: Zeus wins via Arm Trap Facelock @10:41 – *** ½
  • Shinjiro Otani vs Kento Miyahara: Kento wins via Blackout @13:23 – *** ¾
  • Jake Lee vs Suwama: Suwama wins via Last Ride Powerbomb @18:23 – ****

 

Results:

Yuma Aoyagi vs Shotaro Ashino

So very similarly to the match against Otani, Aoyagi starts slow. The match begins with a handshake, then he gets driven to the ropes, Ashino slides under his legs during the break to trip him up and starts working over the leg. An early Stretch Muffler indicates that Ashino is most likely aiming to win with the Ankle Lock.

Aoyagi was on the move and constantly clawing for an opening. A few strikes and early knockdown give Aoyagi hope as he goes for End Game, but Ashino powers up and slams him into the corner. Ashino controls most of the tempo until we get a German Suplex trade off spot. Aoyagi ends up taking the worst of it, and Ashino goes for the Ankle Lock.

While in the Ankle Lock, Aoyagi tries to roll through 3 times, but Ashino moves with the roll and holds the move in place. Right before Aoyagi looks like he’s going to tap, he adjusts, grabs Ashino’s head for the Small Package; Ashino manages to kick out. But before Ashino can really re-orient himself, Aoyagi slaps on the full version of End Game. Ashino tries to fight through, but succumbs.

Ashino with two big losses almost writes him out already. Hopefully he makes a small run to suspend disbelief for a little bit and this isn’t his swan song from AJPW.

Kohei Sato vs Koji Doi

Doi comes out of a loss to a major player, Shuji Ishikawa, of current AJPW and Sato avenged his loss to the current Triple Crown Champion Suwama. So at face value, one should think this is a perfect time for Sato to gather some momentum to make sure he gets another shot at the title.

Contrary to logic, this match was interesting. Doi starts off with a quick flurry and picks Sato up into a Torture Rack. Sato eventually fights out and then we get a chop battle, which Sato is notoriously bad at and throws some of the lamest looking chops. Granted, even though he was losing the chops, apparently a well-placed Forearm rocked Doi enough to have Doi selling the forearm for nearly the rest of the match.

Referee Nikkan Lee gets up to seven before Doi starts responding enough to be on the receiving end of a Soccer Ball Kick from Sato. Sato senses the match is over, picks Doi up real cocky for a Brainbuster, but it gets countered into a Brainbuster of Doi’s own! A short range lariat rocks Sato afterward and then off the ropes for Murder Lariat! Sato is stacked up, Doi covers and Doi gets the win!

Well we look to be in an interesting starting spot so far. Who would’ve figured Koji Doi would have more points than Shotaro Ashino…ever. Also for clarity, the low rating is because the match was so abrupt. It wasn’t inherently bad, just not really anything to sink teeth into beyond an upset win.

Shuj Ishikawa vs Zeus

There is history with these two, most notable in my head is during Zeus’ only Triple Crown championship reign, Shuji was his first and only defense. So Zeus looks to continue momentum this year, possibly running back the undefeated record of last year; while Shuji is trying to protect his position and title as Gaora TV champion.

This goes the way most of their previous meetings have, where Shuji tries to overpower Zeus. Because even though Zeus is a bodybuilder, he’s a bit on the short side (5’10”). So with Shuji standing about 6 inches taller and not being of a slight build, Shuji loves to buckle Zeus and play the power struggle. Tests of Strength, Shoulder Tackles, Lariat battles, it’s all great power wrestler spots.

Shuji does however start to catch Zeus. So after a chagrining Lariat into the corner, the middle rope Mushroom Stomp and a few Tsunamis; it looks like Shuji is setting up to win with a Fire/Thunder Driver – but Zeus slips out the back! Zeus locks in the Arm Trap Facelock, and Shuji is dead to rights. Stuck in the middle, twisted about in the move, it only takes a few moments before Shuji is forced to tap and Zeus moves on with 4 points!

Shinjiro Otani vs Kento Miyahara

Dueling boots start the match, which Kento bails after being on the losing end of the exchange. Otani decides to remind him that recovering on the apron isn’t safe, so he charges and lands the Bootwash through the bottom rope sending Kento flying. As the match plays out on the outside, Kento regains his swagger, talks smack to referee Wada and does his “headbutts around the ring” spot.

After rocking Otani, Kento gets cocky, poses back in the ring and the smug Kento from his previous Triple Crown champion days starts making a return. He gives Otani too much space though, charges the corner, and takes a Drop Toe Hold into the bottom turnbuckle, and then Otani revs up the old kicking boot across Kento’s face for a few Bootwashes.

From this point, both men’s stubbornness comes out in spades. Kento gets a little cocky, Otani catches him on the corner, they fight back and Otani refuses to fall before hitting Kento with a Superplex. Then we go into a strike exchange where both are just wailing on one another. Otani manages to rock Kento and then catch him with a Dragon Suplex for a near fall.

Moving quickly, Otani hits Spiral Bomb, but again only two. So he tries a Dragon Suplex again, but Kento fights out. Kento hits a Blackout to the back of Otani’s head, and now they are throwing haymakers. Kento catches Otani with another Blackout, but Otani returns the favor with one of those Hashimoto Overhand Chops that put down Aoyagi yesterday! Otani goes for another, but Kento Blackouts the chop. The clash leaves Otani in more pain, another Blackout and Otani powers out of the pinfall at 1, but is scrambling and stumbling around, unable to find his feet. Kento hits one more point blank Blackout, and picks up his first points of the 2021 Carnival!

Jake Lee vs Suwama

So watching this second tournament match for Jake, I’ve come to realize what I’m referring to him as during this Total Eclipse gimmick. He is very much “Light Yagami” Jake Lee. He’s cackling when he accomplishes something, unbridled frustration and nearly schizophrenic reactions do really scream Death Note crazy Light.

This match was interesting since early on Suwama didn’t really know what to make of Jake, and Jake tried the same stuff he pulled on Ashino, where he was a little awkward, took advantage of situations and tried to bait Suwama into bad spots. The difference is, Suwama is a veteran and Triple Crown champion; so even though Jake got a few early shots, Suwama eventually forced him back into old habits.

Jake was forced to wrestle, hitting interesting flying kick and knee variations, pulled out the old Kitchen Sink and put in a lot more effort than the first match. Suwama managed to stay resilient and push our new Total Eclipse Death Note wielder. This match was built more around Jake coming into his new persona, and yet still not being able to get passed certain old hurdles.

Suwama absorbed a lot, hit some short range lariats, his Double Chop comeback, and the spinning chop. Jake hits the back of the head Giant Killing, attempts D4C, but Suwama blocks. Jake keeps the pressure up, attempts and old Giant Killing/Knee Lift, but Suwama catches the leg, lifts him into a Last Ride, and puts him away!

Suwama finally gets on the bored, and Jake is left stunned and seething. Which plays perfect for Jake to win the Carnival and earn his Suwama shot, and prove his evolution then.

 

Overall Score: 7.5/10

So this ended a little stronger over all than day 1, but both days so far have been a fun start. The mixture of upsets and oddly abrupt matches are perfect for a tournament even if they don’t rank high. In the larger picture of things it’s nice to see that a competitive match can end in less than 5 minutes without comedy tactics.

Seeing how Jake took the loss to Suwama gives me hope for this anime antagonist character. I’m honestly a little surprised that the whole tournament is knotted up except for Zeus at the 2-0 and Ashino at 0-2. I really did not think Ashino would be the slow kid in the pool right now. But I suppose since he was just betrayed he’s still finding his footing. Like I alluded to before, it would be nice if he’s just getting broken down to be built back up and not just putting people over on his way out.

Now since the only unique records are first and last, the rest of the tournament isn’t hard to figure out, but here are the standings! Solid first 2 days so far!

Standings:

  1. Zeus: 2-0 – (4 Points)
  2. Shuji Ishikawa: 1-1 – (2 Points)
  3. Shinjiro Otani: 1-1 – (2 Points)
  4. Kohei Sato: 1-1 – (2 Points)
  5. Jake Lee: 1-1 – (2 Points)
  6. Kento Miyahara: 1-1 – (2 Points)
  7. Suwama: 1-1 – (2 Points)
  8. Koji Doi: 1-1 – (2 Points)
  9. Yuma Aoyagi: 1-1 – (2 Points)
  10. Shotaro Ashino: 0-2 – (0 Points)

 


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