Welcome everyone to the place where we used to put the ‘Flashback Friday‘ into Flashback Friday. Hottest Matches last week proved to be just that and has burnt out the circuits in my time machine (go with me) meaning we can no longer leap from show to show and pay per view to pay per view.
What it means is we have to take the long way home. What it means, and I’m guessing you’ve got there by reading the title of this, is we are going to cover Raw. Yes people we are going to put the ‘Monday‘ into Monday Night Raw as we go back 25 years and over 1300 episodes and start at the very begining.
RAW #1 [January 11 1993]
Sean Mooney is outside the Manhattan Centre and he welcomes us to Raw. Bobby Heenan tries to get into the building for his usual comentary role but Mooney tells him he’s been replaced. Heenan seemes angered by this, which does raise the point that Mooney seems OK with being outside, but I digress.
Following the opening credits we are welcomed to Raw (again) this time by our commentary team of Vince McMahon, Randy Savage and Rob Bartlett (no, I’ve no idea who he is either and after watching it don’t want to) they give us a run down of the matches we’ll see tonight before we head into the first ever Raw match.
Yokozuna vs Koko B Ware
Bartlet runs through a series of fat jokes and Vince suggests Yokozuna has eaten Koko’s parrot, all before the first move of the match which is a Collar and Elbow Tie-up which ends when Yokozuna pushes Koko halfway across the ring and into the corner upside down. A second Collar and Elbow Tie-up ends the same way. Koko bounces off the ropes with a Shoulder Block but runs right into Yokozuna and it is Koko that ends in a heap on the ground. Again. A second Koko Shoulder Block ends the same way. Two Dropkicks stagger Yokozuna but they don’t knock him down. Koko flies at Yokozuna with a Clothesline but Yokozuna steps out of the way and Koko lands on the ropes and is bounced backwards landing on the canvas where Yokozuna drops on him with a huge Legdrop before following up with a huge Avalanche and ends it with a Banzai Drop. There it is people, first match in Raw history and it was not a classic. That said, Yokozuna looked like an unstoppable monster which was the whole point of the match.
An ad airs for the Royal Rumble that airs in a couple of weeks. Don’t worry, when we get there I’ll slip the results in to keep everyone up to speed.
A woman with huge hair and a bathing suit wanders around the ring with a ‘Monday Night Raw‘ sign. You would NEVER see that happen in 2018.
A pre-tape promo airs with Bobby Heenan. He talks about Narcissus. He tells Mr Perfect that Narcissus is beyond perfection, anatomically perfect and physically and mentally superior beyond imagination. Heenan says that Narcissus is so beyond perfect it’s like he’s from another galaxy. Heenan tells us we will see Narcissus at the Royal Rumble.
Rick Steiner & Scott Steiner vs Executioner One & Executioner Two
Ah enhancement talent. We have covered these a couple of times back on ‘Leaping Through The Network‘ and we are going to encounter a LOT of them here on ‘Retro Raw‘. My plan is to get some of them a small level of notoriety as we go. The Executioners are Barry Hardy (no relation to Matt or Jeff) and the second most famous enhancement talent of all time, Duane Gill (for the record, I’m counting Barry Horowitz as number one. We’ll see him as we go on. Don’t agree with my #1, tweet me!)
Scott turns a Collar and Elbow Tie-up into a Back Elbow that knocks Ex 1 down and Doink is in the crowd. Scott shoots Ex 1 off the ropes and hits him with a Tilt-a-whirl Sidewalk Slam, an Elbow Drop and a Snapmare before tagging Rick. Rick hits a Knee to the gut and a Right Hand that knocks Ex 1 down. Ex 1 manages to hit Rick with a Right Hand and whips Rick off the ropes but Rick reverses it and sends EX 1 face first into the ropes. Rick shoots EX 1 off the ropes and knocks him down with a Clothesline before draping him over his shoulder and ramming Ex 1 chest first into the corner. Ex 1 recovers at ringside with Ex 2, Scott Steiner comes over and cracks their heads together with a Double Noggin Knocker and throws EX 2 into the ring. Ex 2 shoots Rick off the ropes and attempts to leapfrog him but Rick catches him and Powerslams Ex 2. Scott tags in and hits Ex 2 with an overhead Belly To Belly Suplex. Scott throws Ex 2 into his corner and he tags Ex 1 back in. Scott grabs Ex 1 and hits him with a Double Underhook Powerbomb before lifting Ex 1 onto his shoulders allowing Rick to climb to the top turnbuckle and hits what I call (and will do so in future matches) a Doomsday Bulldog. Scott makes the cover and he gets the win.
Winners: Rick Steiner & Scott Steiner
Outside the arena, Rob Bartlett’s aunt is trying to get inside to see her nephew. Turns out it’s just Bobby Heenan in drag.
Vince McMahon is in the ring. He announces for an in-ring interview, Razor Ramon. Vince asks if he is ready to challenge Bret Hart in two weeks at the Royal Rumble. Razor says he was born ready. Razor says it took Bret Hart eight and a half years to reach the top of WWE, but it only took Razor eight and a half months. Vince asks Razor why he attacked Owen Hart on Mania on Saturday morning, Razor says it was fun and there is nothing that Bret Hart can do about it. Another thing that Bret can’t do anything about, according to Razor, is stop Razor from taking the WWE Title at the Royal Rumble.
Shawn Michaels vs Max Moon [Intercontinental Title]
Match starts with a Collar and Elbow Tie-up that Shawn turns into an Arm Drag. Shawn turns another Collar and Elbow into a Headlock then a Hammerlock that Moon quickly turns into one of his own before he eats a Back Elbow from Shawn in the face. Shawn bounces of the ropes but Moon ducks him and leapfrogs him. Moon catches a boot from Shawn before spinning him round and lifting Shawn for an Atomic Drop that Shawn manages to roll out of. Moon slips behind Shawn and pushes him off the ropes for an O’Connor Roll but Shawn grabs the ropes and only Moon goes rolling backwards. Shawn charges at Moon who ducks and leapfrogs Shawn again before Hip tossing Shawn over his head before Hiptossing Shawn again when he gets to his feet and hitting Shawn with a Bodyslam that sends Shawn retreating into the corner. Shawn hits a knee to the gut to get out of a Collar And Elbow. Shawn whips Moon off the ropes but Moon ducks a Back Elbow and ducks a charging Shawn before grabbing Shawn for an Armbar in mid air!!
We come back from the ads as Shawn pushes Moon into the corner, he whips Moon into the opposite corner but Moon moves out the way of a charging Shawn and Shawn goes shoulder first into the corner. Moon attempts an Arm Wringer but Shawn punches Moon in the face before ramming Moon’s face into the buckle and whips Moon into the opposite corner. Moon attempts to leap over a charging Shawn but he gets caught and Shawn drops him, Snake Eyes style’ onto the ropes. Shawn chokes Moon before whipping him off the ropes and Dropkicking the rebounding Moon. Shawn shoots Moon off the ropes again but Moon catches Shawn with a quick Roll Up that gets a two count. Shawn catches Moon in a Headlock and hits him with a Left Hand and rams his head into the corner before whipping Moon into the opposite corner so hard it knocks him off his feet. Shawn hits Moon with a series of rights and a Headbutt.
Shawn tries for a Bodyslam that is countered into a Small Package that gets Moon a two count. Shawn whips Moon off the ropes and catches him with a Back Elbow that gets Shawn a two count. Shawn applies a Reverse Chinlock that slows things down for a bit. Moon hits a couple of elbows to Shawn’s gut to get himself out of the hold before catching Shawn as he attempts a Dropkick and Slingshots Shawn over the top rope and out of the ring. Moon then gets onto the apron and (it’s the best I have to describe this cleanly) Flying Teabags Shawn on the outside. Moon rolls Shawn back into the ring and hits an Uppercut, an Irish Whip and a Spin Kick into the corner before lifting Shawn onto his shoulders where a Rolling Kenton gets Moon a two count. Moon hits a Bodyslam but misses a sommersault Legdrop allowing Shawn to Superkick him and hit a Teardrop Suplex for the three.
Winner: Shawn Michaels [still Intercontinental Champion]
An ad airs for Mania, a Saturday morning show that airs at 10 am.
We cut to Mean Gene with the Royal Rumble Report. It’s a rundown of all the anounced matches for the PPV. Over then next few years we will get a lot of [insert PPV name] Reports. One matches at the upcoming Rumble is Shawn Michaels vs Marty Jannetty for the Intercontinental Title so we cut to a pre-taped Shawn Michaels. Shawn says that Marty doesn’t deserve a title shot but as Shawn is ‘Mr Cool‘ he’s giving Marty a shot anyway. A pre tape with Marty Jannetty where he tells us that he will get everything he wants at the Rumble: He will get the Intercontinental Title as well as ending Shawn’s career.
Announced so far or the Royal Rumble Match is Ric Flair, Tatanka, Irwin R Schyster, Bob Backlund, Jerry Lawler, Mr Perfect, Ted DiBiase, Crush, Rick Martel, Yokozuna, Randy Savage, Papa Shango, Earthquake, The Berzerker, The Undertaker, Carlos Colon, Tenryu, El Matador, Typhoon, Samu, Fatu and Jim Duggan. Also Bret Hart vs Razor Ramon for the WWE Title has been announced for the Rumble
Outside with Sean Mooney and Rob Bartlett’s uncle….no wait, It’s Bobby Heenan in a wig and a fake beard.
We see a ticket hotline number to get tickets for Raw. Usually on the WWE Network we get a ‘number no longer active’ over phone numbers. This one doesn’t. Interesting.
Kamala split from Harvey Whippleman and Kim Chee in a segment that looks a bit odd in 2018. A black man (Kamala) is chastised by two white guys (Whippleman & Kim Chee) until a second black guy (Slick) runs in to break it up. Whippleman punches Slick knocking him down and this angers Kamala and he chases Whippleman and Kim Chee away.
The Undertaker vs Damian Demento
Demento hits a series of Right Hands before whipping Undertaker off the ropes but he bends too far for a Back Drop and Undertaker rams his face into the canvas before ramming Demento’s head into the corner. Undertaker then climbs to the top rope and hits Demento with Old School (which wasn’t called Old Shool in 1993 granted but I’m writing this in 2018 so tough). Undertaker rams Demento’s head into the corner again before choking him. Undertaker Irish Whips Demento into the corner and charges but Demento gets a foot up to block him before climbing to the second turnbuckle and hitting Undertaker with an Axe Handle and drops Undertaker with a running Shoulder Block but Undertaker sits right back up. Vince McMahon is discussing “Bret Hart” as Undertaker hits an almost botched Flying Clothesline before a Tombstone finishes it for Demento.
Winner: The Undertaker
Vince advertises a Cage Match for next week between Woody Allen against Mia Farrow. Topical joke, I think they may have been divorcing at the time.
Vince McMahon is with Doink. Vince tells Doink that Crush has warned him about making kids cry. Doink says if kids don’t have a sense of humour it’s their problem. Crush comes to the ring and says if Doink keeps pulling pranks on children and making them cry, Crush will put Doink’s legs and arms in plaster. Doink sprays him with a water pistol.
Outside the building, Sean Mooney tells Bobby Heenan that he’s just gotten word that Bobby can get in the building. The show fades to black.
Post Show: This is interesting as it is so long ago and it’s the very first one. But the commentary is bad. Rob Bartlet spent the entire Shawn vs Moon match doing a really bad (and probably offensive) impression of Mike Tyson to the point that the other two sped more time dealing with him than calling the show. The matches are OK but they are TV level and we are going to get a lot more enhancement talent on Raw for the next few years and the matches won’t be great as a result.
Match of The Night: Shawn Michaels vs Max Moon. It wasn’t anything special but it was the best of what we had.
MVP: Max Moon. I thought he had a decent match and looked on Shawn’s level. Even if it was just for one night.
With that I am done. No more leaping, no more votes. Just moving on to Episode #2 of Raw next week. IN the meantime I can be found on Twitter @Callaweasy2220 where I live tweet my way through Raw, Smackdown, NXT and, when there is one on, PPV as well as randomly posting screen shots of what I’m watching if ever I’m bored. If you want to talk about Wrestling, Dr Who, Batman or my style of review writing. I’ll be back with episode 2 so until then #UseYourHead and ALWAYS have an Angle.
“Not a Chance of you doing the thing to me again”