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Mitchell’s Lucha Underground Report! (7/25/18)

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Lucha Underground Season 4, “The Gift That Keeps on Giving”

It is time to crown a new Gift of the Gods Champion! With only six contenders this time, who wins this belt to then aim for THE Lucha Underground Champion?

 

Gifs can be found courtesy of frentique.tumblr.com

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Sammy Guevara VS Jake Strong; Strong wins.
  • Sacrifice to the Gods: Matanza Cueto VS Vinnie Massaro; Matanza wins, Vinnie and the pizza guy are sacrificed.
  • Six-Way Gift of the Gods Championship: Ivelisse VS Son of Havoc VS The Mack VS El Dragon Azteca Jr. VS King Cuerno VS Desmond X; scrapped for…
  • Trios Match: Ivelisse, Son of Havoc & The Mack VS King Cuerno, El Dragon Azteca Jr. & Desmond X; Cuerno, Azteca & Desmond win and will compete in a Triple Threat Gift of the Gods Championship match.
  • Triple Threat Gift of the Gods Championship: King Cuerno VS El Dragon Azteca Jr. VS Desmond X; Azteca wins and becomes the new Gift of the Gods Champion.

PLAY BY PLAY

Sammy Guevara VS Jake Strong!

Just as Big Bad Steve tried to get revenge on The Savage Strong for turning on Infamous Inc, the smiling upstart wants his chance. However, BBS failed to make Strong pay, and got a broken ankle for it. Will Sammy suffer the same fate tonight?

The bell rings and fans sing “Strong is gonna kill~ you!” Strong gets a waistlock and throws Sammy to the mat. He brings Sammy back up, for a German Suplex! Sammy lands on his face he was thrown that hard. Believers rally up behind Strong as Strong toys with Sammy. Strong lines up the shot, runs in and Vader Bombs Sammy! Strong isn’t done with Sammy, as he stalks the smaller man. He builds speed, but Sammy ducks to then crossbody himself and Strong out of the ring! Strong bumps apron on the way down, and Sammy keeps on him with knees. But then Strong bounces Sammy off the timekeeper’s table, and then bowls for chairs! Strike!

Believers are loving this as Sammy crawls from the wreckage. Strong brings him up to throw haymakers. Strong rallies the fans, but Sammy climbs the nearby ladder. But Strong gets his ankle for the ankle lock! Sammy fights Strong off, shoving him into that timekeeper’s area! Sammy climbs up higher, but Strong is in pursuit. Strong has him by a leg but Sammy fights back with the other. Strong goes down while Sammy keeps going up. Fans chant “Please Don’t Die!” SUPER MOONSAULT!! Sammy wipes the Savage out!

Fans lose their minds, but Sammy stands tall! Sammy runs at Strong to kick out the leg, then mule kick his face! He keeps going, a second mule kick to the ear! Sammy puts Strong in the ring, and fans already feel “This is Awesome!” Sammy aims at Strong, springboards, but into an ankle lock! The Strong Lock makes Sammy tap, Strong wins!

Winner: Jake Strong, by submission

But Strong doesn’t let go, he BREAKS Sammy’s ankle! Strong takes another trophy as he puts another man on the sidelines. Will the Savage continue to roll on towards success?

 

Sacrifice to the Gods: Matanza Cueto VS Vinnie Massaro!

The Monster of the Temple has been clearing out the riffraff ever since his father, Antonio, removed what was left of his only remaining son’s humanity. Antonio says that when he took over Lucha Underground, he carefully evaluated the roster. When he saw Vinnie, he thought “Fire that poor excuse of a man.” Vinnie is dead weight, but Antonio thought better. If Dario kept Vinnie around, maybe it’s because he saw potential under that filthy track suit. But after that performance in Aztec Warfare, Antonio has no choice but to… order Vinnie a pizza?

Yes, the pizza man returns! And he presents Vinnie with the pizza pie! But wait, there’s PINEAPPLE on it! Well, this serves as Vinnie’s disappointing last meal, because it’s time for a SACRIFICE!! The Monster rushes the ring, but Vinnie feeds the pizza guy to him first! Matanza stomps out the poor man, but Vinnie mans up! Vinnie steps to Matanza, and tells him off in Italian. Then he SLAPS Matanza! That was a bad move. The bell rings and Vinnie manages to stick and move on Matanza. Vinnie spins for a roaring elbow, but Matanza only staggers. Vinnie builds speed, but then tires himself out… He manages to keep going, but slows to a stop, for a headbutt! Matanza drags Vinnie up, WRATH OF THE GODS, ON THE PIZZA! Cover, Matanza wins!

Winner: Matanza Cueto, by pinfall

The pizza boy looks for a tip, so he picks Vinnie’s pocket, again. But Matanza creeps up behind. The pizza guy tries to buy Matanza off, but he gets a CHOKE SLAM instead! Matanza stacks him on top of Vinnie, and they’re both sacrificed! A two-for-one special, who else will suffer the Wrath of the Gods?

 

Six-Way Gift of the Gods Championship: Ivelisse VS Son of Havoc VS The Mack VS El Dragon Azteca Jr. VS King Cuerno VS Desmond X!

Normally this match has seven participants, but after a sudden decision by Antonio Cueto, a battle royal ensued. The winner of that battle royal would then be allowed to eliminate one of the others to improve everyone’s chances. Son of Havoc let The Mack win, and The Mack decided Mil Muertes would be the odd one out. There won’t be room for friendship anymore, will Havoc, Mack or someone else in this set of six take the belt for their own?

But wait, Antonio wishes to say something first. “I feel like doing things a little different tonight.” This won’t be a Six-Way match after all. It’ll be a TRIPLE THREAT! But which three? That depends on this impromptu Trios Match! The winning team then competes later on for THE Gift of the Gods title. Antonio teams up Ivelisse & Son of Havoc, former Trios Champions together, and lets them choose their own third man. Believers hope it’s The Mack, because it just makes sense. And yes, it is! The Trios Champions and the Baddest Bitch take on the other three, after the break!

 

Trios Match: Ivelisse, Son of Havoc & The Mack VS King Cuerno, El Dragon Azteca Jr. & Desmond X!

The teams sort out and we begin with The Mack and King Cuerno. Mack runs in but misses his splash, Cuerno rolls him up! TWO but Mack sits up into a swing kick from Desmond! Azteca tags in to springboard crossbody, then kick away at Mack’s leg. Killshot has appeared at the top of the stairs to watch his “friend” Mack team with yet another person that isn’t him or the MIA Dante Fox. His jealousy aside, Azteca runs and Mack follows, Mack arm-drags Azteca. Azteca runs in but into a chop! Desmond runs in but Mack dodges. The two of them run and Mack hits leaping enziguri! Mack has two men in two corners, so he runs for endless corner clotheslines! He gives each man two, then runs them both over with double clotheslines!

The Believers are fired up as Cuerno runs in and into a Samoan Drop. Mack kip-up and moonsaults! TWO, but Mack keeps his cool. Mack drags Cuerno over to tag in Havoc. Havoc takes Cuerno but Cuerno kicks low. Cuerno whips Havoc corner to corner but Havoc reverses. Havoc runs in for teh handspring elbow then springboards for a crossbody! Cover, TWO! That was close, but now Ivelisse tags in. Cuerno gets away but she still gets him with the headscissors. Desmond comes in but she arm-drags him out of the waistlock. Azteca comes in but runs into a scorpion kick. Ivelisse springboard arm-drags him, then runs to tilt-o-whirl into an octopus stretch! But Cuerno returns to kick her off! Azteca side slams and covers, TWO.

Believers rally up while Azteca tags Desmond in. Desmond hits Ivelisse’s arm, then threads it between the legs to tweak it! Ivelisse writhes while Desmond keeps her isolated. He throws her into Azteca’s boot, then sets her up for body shots. Cuerno teases Ivelisse before Desmond gives her an European Uppercut. Desmond works to drag Ivelisse to the center, but she holds onto ropes. He yanks her up and she lands on her feet, but Desmond grabs hold of a leg to elbow the calf. Desmond lifts but she slips out to enziguri! Both of them are down, hot tag to Mack! Azteca tags in but runs into Mack’s clothesline! Desmond runs into the heel kick! Cuerno runs into the Thesz Press! Mack throws fast hands and the fans are fired up. Mack tags Havoc while Ivelisse leaps onto Cuerno. Azteca springboards but into a SUPERKICK!

The Mack looks at the enemy grouped together, and FLIES! He wipes out Cuerno and Azteca! Desmond is in the ring, but Havov bicycle boots him out. Desmond groups with the others, Havoc handsprings to FLY! Havoc has the Believers losing their minds all over again. He puts Cuerno in the ring, then climbs up top. Havoc takes aim, but has to bail out as Cuerno rolls. Cuerno fireman’s carry, Thrill of the Hunt! Cover, Cuerno’s team wins!!

Winners: King Cuerno, El Dragon Azteca Jr. & Desmond X; move on to the Gift of the Gods Triple Threat

Killshot seems disappointed, yet oddly justified. Perhaps he felt all along that such a mishmash team wouldn’t work. But speaking of, that team is attacked by Mil Muertes! The Man of 1000 Deaths has been kept out of the picture more than he likes, so he makes the men responsible pay for it! Muertes throws Havoc down, then apron powerbombs Mack! Killshot watches as Havoc kicks back, but then comes down to add on? He bicycle kicks Havoc before Muertes could choke slam him, so Muertes goes after him now! Muertes’ rage is boiling over, but he has no choice but to let things happen. The triple threat is up next!

 

Triple Threat Gift of the Gods Championship: King Cuerno VS El Dragon Azteca Jr. VS Desmond X!

While these three just competed as allies, that goes out the window as it’s every man for himself. Will the King of Hunters or the Heir to the Eagles make their tribe proud? Or will it be the newcomer who sets the record for fastest rise in the Temple?

The bell rings, and while Desmond runs at Azteca, Azteca runs at Cuerno! Cuerno dodges Azteca to hit Desmond, then turns around to tilt-o-whirl backbreaker Azteca. He enziguris Desmond, then gives Azteca another backbreaker. Cover, TWO. Cuerno keeps his cool while he kicks Azteca. Desmond hits Cuerno then throws him at a corner. Cuerno reverse to then hit double knees. Cuerno quiets the crowd so they can hear that SHARP chop! He keeps on Desmond as he hoists him up then roundhouses kick! Cuerno climbs up to SUPER STEINER Desmond, who lands on Azteca, to make it a cover! Cuerno kicks that apart, not letting anyone outsmart him. The fans rally up for Cuerno, and he whips Azteca. Things speed up but Cuerno dropkicks Azteca down. Cover, TWO!

Desmond hits Cuerno with a right hand, then brings him up for body shots. He whips but Cuerno reverses. Desmond goes up and over to then go at Azteca. He SUPERKICKS Cuerno to then fire off shots on Azteca. He stacks them in the corner, for an Around the World back elbow! Azteca staggers away while Desmond runs in at Cuerno. Cuerno’s boot is blocked and Desmond gives off more martial arts strikes. He snapmares Cuerno for a dropkick to the back! Cover, TWO! Desmond goes back to Azteca for a quick boot wash, then a corner to corner whip. Azteca goes up and over, but then trades places with Desmond. He pushes Desmond away, to springboard arm-drag and dropkick Desmond down! Cover, TWO!

Azteca keeps his cool while fans rally up. Desmond turns things around to a full nelson, but Azteca escapes and Cuerno’s boot goes into Desmond. Azteca lurks behind Cuerno, then runs to LEAP FROG over and land on Desmond! Azteca returns but gets a kick from Cuerno. Cuerno draws his bow, takes aim and… HELL’S ARROW! Direct hit on Azteca but it takes a bit out of Cuerno, too. Cuerno puts Azteca back in for a quick splash. TWO, but Cuerno keeps his cool. Cuerno drags Azteca up in bomb position, but Azteca slips out and hops up. Azteca spins but Cuerno blocks to bring him back up. Azteca sunset flips through, but Desmond barrels in to break the cover! All three men are down, but Believers are liking it.

Desmond is up first and goes after Azteca. He fires off those slapping body shots, then a big spinning haymaker. He runs corner to corner, but is put on the apron. Desmond swing kicks Azteca down, then handsprings in for the PELE! Cover, TWO!

Desmond drags Azteca up while Cuerno returns. Cuerno kicks them both down, then goes after Azteca with the Indian Deathlock. Cuerno sees Desmond coming in, so he catches him into a wheelbarrow full nelson! He has simultaneous holds! Both men endure the holds, but Desmond pries his way out. Desmond fights with elbows and rolls Cuerno off. Azteca is freed, runs at Desmond, and turns the pop-up into a dropkick on Cuerno! Desmond adds a running EuroUpper, and Azteca runs in again, but into Cuerno’s boot! Cuerno kicks Desmond, then hops up. Desmond SUPER STEINERS Cuerno off!

Cuerno goes on the apron, Azteca triangle dropkicks him down. Desmond builds speed but runs into another kick. Azteca builds speed to slide out, Cuerno gives him a knee trigger! Desmond slides on the apron for a kick to Cuerno! Azteca leaps from the stairs to huricanrana Cuerno! Desmond corner 619’s as well, but Azteca gives Desmond a stiff forearm shot. Azteca throws Desmond at the apron but Desmond back flips off it! Desmond and Azteca collide with clotheslines, then collide again. Cuerno runs in to run them both over! All three men are down on the outside but the Believers are fired up. Cuerno drags Azteca up and throws him at the announce desk. He then drags Desmond around the corner. Cuerno asks fans to move aside for him, so they do. Cuerno brings Desmond up, fireman’s’ carry, snake eyes on the railing!

The Hunter stalks Azteca now, and bowls for chairs! Cuerno keeps on Azteca with a fireman’s carry, then prepares a char. Azteca fights out, but Desmond suddenly flies in from above!! Desmond takes the both out with that SUPER Swanton! Fans lose their minds all over again after that one. Desmond staggers up and Azteca crawls away. They leave Cuerno behind as they go into the ring. Desmond climbs up top, but his corkscrew senton misses! Azteca climbs up now, but Desmond returns with a SHORYUKEN! Desmond climbs up and lifts Azteca in a fireman’s carry of his own. Azteca fights back, adjusts, but Desmond gives palm strikes. Azteca flips back, runs up, and SUPER Victory Roll! Cover, EL DRAGON AZTECA WINS!!

Winner: El Dragon Azteca Jr, by pinfall; NEW Gift of the Gods Champion

The young luchador finally does it! He makes all that training under Rey Mysterio and all the damage down by Matanza Cueto from the last three seasons worth it. The Heir to the Eagle Tribe has gold, when will he get to use it to go for Lucha Underground Championship gold?

 

Meanwhile, in an undisclosed location…

Mariposa drags her brother, Marty, back into the Martinez family home. She wakes her sleeping brother with a splash of water. Marty is upset, he was having a great dream. It had Melissa Santos, and Marty was giving her a necklace made of Pentagon’s teeth. Does Marty know why Mari did what she did at Ultima Lucha Tres? Because they always hurt each other. No. It’s because Marty needs focus. Marty dreams of the wrong things, like Melissa and taking people’s teeth. Marty vows he’ll make Pentagon pay by taking his teeth.

No, Marty, you make Pentagon pay by taking his title. Mariposa may wear the mask, but Marty is the true heir to the Moth Tribe. “So stop laying around feeling sorry for yourself, and focus on what truly matters.” The mad Moth siblings aim for the top of the Temple, but what will they do on the way there?

 


 

My Thoughts:

A really fun Lucha Underground, even with the “impulsive changes” made by Antonio Cueto. We get a quick and dominate match for Strong VS Guevara. Guevara looked like he was about to get the upset, but no, Strong stays strong as he breaks another ankle. Matanza “sacrifices” another jobber, so bye-bye Vinnie Massaro. Both these stories are surely headed somewhere, such as an opponent too strong to easily squash and throw aside. Maybe Famous B will return to also bring the return of Dr. Wagner Jr. or Texano. Texano VS Strong can definitely make for a great slug fest of a match. Matanza will likely run out of jobbers to sacrifice before moving up the card, which makes for a lot of great possibilities.

Antonio practically stands in for “Mr. McMahon” with how fickle he is about his own main event match. He downsizes it from a Six-Way to a Trios (Six Man Tag) and then only lets three compete for the belt. It all still worked out great, with Muertes now joining the story of dysfunction between Mack, Havoc and Killshot. That could turn out a couple of ways, such as Muertes being teamed with two others to challenge for the Lucha Underground Trios Championships, and then it’s up to Killshot to either accept or reject Havoc as a teammate. The triple threat was great, and really establishes Desmond in Lucha Underground while giving Azteca a reward for all his great work. Obviously Marty is coming for Pentagon first, but Azteca being GotG can complicate things for some added fun.

My Score: 8.3/10


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