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Mitchell’s WWE Monday Night Raw Report! (7/2/18)

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With the Huggable Bayley going berserk on The Boss (and her supposed friend) Sasha Banks, Raw GM Kurt Angle has demanded they BOTH go to anger management! Can therapy bring these two back around? Or will it only make things worse? Plus, will Seth Rollins & Roman Reigns have something to say about Ziggler & McIntyre?

 

All images courtesy of the WWE’s official Twitter

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Woken Hardy VS Curt Axel w/ Bo Dallas; Axel wins.
  • Titus Worldwide VS The Authors of Pain; The Authors of Pain win.
  • Seth Rollins & Roman Reigns VS Drew McIntyre & Dolph Ziggler; Roman & Rollins win, by disqualification.
  • Ember Moon VS Liv Morgan w/ Sarah Logan; Ember wins.
  • Bobby Lashley & Roman Reigns VS The Revival; Lashley & Reigns win, by disqualification.
  • Mickie James w/ Alexa Bliss VS Nia Jax; Nia wins.
  • Kevin Owens VS Braun Strowman; Strowman wins, by count out.

PLAY BY PLAY

Roman Reigns heads to the ring!

The Big Dog opens Raw in Sioux Falls, coming off a loss to The Revival alongside Bobby Lashley, but also saving his Shield Brother, Seth Rollins from Dolph Ziggler & Drew McIntyre. Roman speaks on the “extremely talented” duo, and admits he never thought he’d lose to The Revival. He did have the worst tag team partner of all time, though, in Bobby Lashley. For whatever reason, Kurt Angle wants Roman to team with “Bob” again. But Roman just wants to fight “Bob.” And if he doesn’t get to fight at Extreme Rules, he’ll fight him tonight! “Bob” is a fool, thinking he’s The Guy, when 10 years ago he wasn’t because he couldn’t handle it. And 10 years from now, Lashley still won’t be The Guy because ROMAN is the Guy! Roman is the Big Dog how runs the Yard!

But wait, here comes Ziggler & McIntyre! Ziggler wants to understand something: Roman is someone else is an egomaniac. The guy who makes it all about him, walking around like he owns the place. Roman calls Ziggler’s ring His Yard. Roman acts like the world has to go through him. McIntyre says Roman couldn’t help himself in “playing the hero”, even for Rollins. The former Intercontinental Champion, Seth Rollins. But that’s what brings them out here. If Roman wants to make all of this all about him, “that’s fine by us.” He stuck his nose in their business, so it’s their turn. Roman fights both Ziggler & McIntyre! But that’s 2v1 and they get Roman down on the mat. So here comes Seth Rollins!

Rollins evens the numbers, and kicks McIntyre out of the ring. Rollins gets Ziggler down but McIntyre saves the Show-Off. McIntyre & Ziggler are in retreat while the Shield Brothers regroup. Roman is getting pulled in different directions, where will he put his focus?

 

Rollins & Roman find Angle backstage.

They want to settle this with Ziggler & McIntyre asap! Angle will accept their request, and schedule a match for next week. Next week? That doesn’t sit right with Roman. Just do it now! No, Roman has to team with Lashley against The Revival. Well, okay, since they want it so bad, they’ll get it tonight. Roman & Rollins get a chance at revenge, will it go their way? And what of Lashley and the #TopGuys, Dash & Dawson?

 

WOKEN Hardy VS Curt Axel w/ Bo Dallas!

The WOKEN Wisdom is without the Eater of Worlds, who was in an accident of automobiles over the previous day of Frige. But WOKEN Axel says last week’s WONDERFUL battle will forever be etched in the multiverse. But a galactic glitch will bring a new Twist of Fate. Bo Wyatt adds that his Woken Wisdom Friend must face the ferocious B Team all by his lonesome. Wait, the song! “You may never truly be alone, because he’s got the whole~ world~, in his hands.”

For those unclear on what’s happening, yes, it is a rematch from last week’s match where a simple ACCIDENT cost Woken Hardy the win. Can Axel keep his team “undefeated” another week? Or will he be DELETED?

They tie up, Hardy gets the headlock, then shifts to a roll up. ONE, and Axel backs away to a corner. Axel and Hardy circle while fans chant DELETE. Axel gets the headlock and the takedown to a facelock. Bo coaches Axel, but Hardy reverses to DELETE Shoulder Breakers. Hardy wrenches the wrist, then whips Axel to ropes. He runs Axel over with a back elbow, covers, TWO. Hardy brings Axel up again, for haymakers. He keeps on Axel with those makers of hay, then whips him again. Axel reverses for a back elbow of his own. Axel brings Hardy up for buckle bumps and stomps. He grinds a forearm into Hardy’s face, then backs off at 4.

Hardy comes out with a kick and a headlock. Axel powers out but Bo swipes at the feet. Hardy fights them both off, but Axel denies the Twist. Hardy chants DELETE while we go to break.

Raw returns and Axel has Hardy in a lock of the arm. hardy fights out while fans rally. Axel knees low and whips for a dropkick. Axel brags but fans boo. He stomps Hardy to a corner, then clubs him in the back. Hardy hits back, backs Axel down, but Axel kicks him low. Axel lifts for the breaker of back, covers, TWO. Axel snapmares and neck snaps Hardy, then covers, TWO! The B Team grows frustrated, but Axel follows Hardy to the apron. Hardy hits back, Side Effect on the apron! Hardy powers up and goes after Axel with DELETE forearms and buckle bumps. He backs off while Bo throws a fit, then comes back for a clothesline and second Side Effect! Cover, TWO! Hardy climbs up, and drops the ax handle. He climbs up again, and drops an elbow! Cover, TWO!

Bo is relieved, but Hardy prepares the Twist. Axel stands up but Bo distracts from the apron. Axel hits back, whips but is reversed. Hardy ends up going up and into the post! Axel then hits his twisting neckbreaker! Cover, Axel wins!

Winner: Curt Axel, by pinfall

Just a couple weeks away from Extreme Rules and their Raw Tag Team Championships, and The B Team is on a WONDERFUL roll! Will they dethrone the Deleters of Worlds as easily as they won tonight?

 

Rollins and Roman prepare backstage.

Not only is Roman having two matches tonight, but he still doesn’t have an Extreme Rules match. Meanwhile, Rollins has a 30-Minute Ironman Match against Dolph Ziggler for the Intercontinental Championship. Speaking of the double header, Lashley comes in to talk with Roman alone. “You have some huge brass ones calling me an egomaniac.” Is Roman Superman or something? No, he’s a heat magnet, and expect for his “brother”, no one likes him.

Lashley doesn’t like Roman, either. And as much as he’d rather fight Roman at Extreme Rules, they have to work together. Roman tells Lashley to shut up. Roman wills tart and finish the match because he’ll win it. All Lashley has to do is flash that fake smile and collect the check. He better, or Lashley will hold him responsible again. Is that a threat? Yes, it is. Can these two work together at all tonight?

 

Raw has footage of Sasha’s & Bayley’s first counseling session.

The Legit Boss and Huggable One both have 10 o’clock meetings with whoever is in 6A. They argue over who actually has the appointment, but it’s DR. SHELBY! He’ll be helping them in their paired friendship counseling. Let’s enter the Friend Zone!

To start, Shelby calls it the Friend Zone because the only rule is to be accepting. Love, helping, joy, sharing, time, honesty, respect. Those are the principles of friendship. Can Bayley & Sasha survive each other long enough to pass the class?

 

Titus Worldwide VS The Authors of Pain!

While veterans Titus & Apollo were just trying to give the younger Akam & Rezar advice, the former NXT Tag Team Champions didn’t want it. Then when AoP brutally beat down the Gibson Brothers, Titus Worldwide came to the rescue. Now these two teams will battle directly to see if the main roster rookies really do have something to learn.

The bell rings and Titus starts against Rezar. They power up and Titus puts Rezar in a headlock. Rezar powers out and collides with Titus, and is actually staggered to the corner. Apollo tags in and hits a big splash in the corner. But Apollo is put in the AoP corner and Akam tags in. Akam throws Apollo, then whips. Apollo goes up and over, impressed as always. Things speed up and Apollo dropkicks Akam. Akam staggers and tags in Rezar, then lifts him up for Rezar to throw down. Rezar trash talks in Albanian, then stalks Apollo to a corner. Rezar brings Apollo up to ram shoulders into his back, then throws him out to another corner. He trash talks Apollo, then throws him again! Rezar covers, ropebreak.

Apollo rolls away but Rezar is on him with neck wrench. Fans rally for Apollo, and Apollo gets up, but Rezar just powers him to the AoP corner. Akam tags in, and the AoP go for another suplex into the powerbomb neckbreaker! Titus breaks the pin, then goes after Rezar. Rezar blcoks him, and Akam helps Rezar throw Titus into a post! Apollo rolls up Akam, TWO! Powerslam from Akam, then tag to Rezar. They drag Apollo up, LAST CHAPTER! Cover, AoP win!

Winners: The Authors of Pain, Rezar pinning

That’s all Akam & Rezar wrote on Titus Worldwide! They have more than enough to defeat a veteran tag team, how long until they’re tag team champions?

 

Roman and Rollins talk again.

How did the talk with “Bob” go? Roman doesn’t really know, he didn’t listen to the guy. That aside, these two are on the same page for their match up next.

 

Kevin Owens arrives a little late.

Perhaps it has to do with needing a new rental car after Braun Strowman flipped the last one as more of a prank. The valet says Kevin can’t park here, he’ll need his keys to relocate. Kevin says “No chance.” Then he puts up his hood, in hopes Strowman won’t spot him. Will he make it through the rest of the night? Or will he #GetTheseHands all over again?

 

Seth Rollins & Roman Reigns VS Drew McIntyre & Dolph Ziggler!

The Architect & The Big Dog are united in wanting to shut up and shut down the Show-Off & The Scottish Stud. Ziggler and Rollins will meet again 1v1 in an Ironman match at Extreme Rules, can their friends help them gain momentum before then?

The teams sort out and it’s Rollins starting against Ziggler as a sampler for their coming rematch. They circle, tie up, and Rollins gets a waistlock. Rollins brings Ziggler to the mat, but Ziggler turns it around. Rollins turns that back around, but Ziggler resists. Ziggler gets out and around, and rolls Rollins, ONE. The two back off, then tie up again. Rollins gets the armlock, but Ziggler has the counter. Ziggler switches to a headlock, but Rollins powers out. Things speed up and Ziggler counters the hip-toss to a roll up. TWO, and Rollins dropkicks Ziggler down. Ziggler gets to his corner, and tags in McIntyre. McIntyre steps up to Rollins, and now they tie up. McIntyre wrenches Rollins with a headlock, then brings him down to his knees. Fans rally, and Rollins powers out. McIntyre runs Rollins over with a shoulder, and fans boo.

McIntyre runs, things speed up, but the hip toss doesn’t work as McIntyre shoves Rollins. Rollins evades, and gets to his corner. Roman nods, and Rollins tags him in. The Big Dog steps to McIntyre, but McIntyre grins. McIntyre welcomes the challenge, and fans duel. They circle, tie up, and are even in strength. But McIntyre starts pushing Roman to a corner! McIntyre throws knees, haymakers and stomps! He backs off at 4, then comes back, but Roman turns it around for a flurry of right hands! Roman backs off, but comes back with corner punches. McIntyre shoves him away, but runs into the fireman’s carry. McIntyre slips out, but gets an uppercut! Roman sees Ziggler coming, but McIntyre headbutts Roman! Lashley is watching, and doesn’t like Roman’s lack of focus.

McIntyre rains down rights on Roman, then tags in Ziggler for a SUPERKICK! Roman is down, and Ziggler covers, TWO! Ziggler grows frustrated, but he keeps on Roman at the ropes with a choke. He backs off at 4, and Roman coughs and gasps. Ziggler drags Roman back up, bumps him off buckles, then tags McIntyre. McIntyre kicks Roman’s ribs, then chops him across the chest. He drags Roman out for a neckbreaker. Cover, TWO, so McIntyre tags Ziggler in. McIntyre holds Roman for Ziggler to stomp. Ziggler drags Roman up, and bumps him off buckles. Ziggler throws hands, then backs off to shout how he’s the best. He runs in at Roman, but the uppercut intercepts the splash! Both men are down and fans rally up. Roman and Ziggler crawl, hot tag to Rollins!

Rollins rallies and jumps around, Slingblade for Ziggler and a dropkick for McIntyre. Rollins runs to DIVE! McIntyre hits the barrier, Drive-By from Rollins to Ziggler! Rollins climbs up, Frog Splash!

Cover, but McIntyre breaks in. Roman returns but McIntyre clotheslines him back out. Rollins knees McIntyre out but Ziggler rolls up. TWO, Rollins covers, TWO. Rollins blocks the superkick into a catapult that sends Ziggler to the outside! Rollins fires up again as he climbs up, and LEAPS! The super crossbody wipes both Ziggler & McIntyre out while we go to break!

Raw returns and Ziggler keeps Rollins away from Roman with a sleeper hold. Rollins reaches for Roman as well as the ropes. Roman reaches, too, but Rollins falls to the mat. Ziggler squeezes with body scissors, but Rollins gets a second wind. Fans duel as Rollins stands up and backs Ziggler into an open corner. The hold breaks, and Rollins crawls, but Ziggler intercepts with a Famouser!

Cover, TWO! Ziggler drags Rollins over and tags McIntyre. McIntyre stomps Rollins’ right hand, then drags Rollins up for a chop. Rollins staggers to ropes, but McIntyre stretches him back against the ropes. The ref coutns and McIntyre lets go. Rollins chops back, but so does McIntyre. Rollins slips out of teh suplex and throws McIntyre out! McIntyre trips Roman! McIntyre then powers Rollins to his corner for him and Ziggler to mug. Ziggler tags while Rollins is sent out of the ring.

Ziggler drags Rollins up and rakes the eyes, then whips, but Rollins reverses! Rollins sends Ziggler into barriers, but McIntyre helps Ziggler up. Tag to McIntyre, and he denies another tag to Roman,. SUPERKICK from Rollins sends McIntyre down and out! Rollins crawls, fans are thunderous, but Ziggler returns! But he runs into a powerbomb! Rollins crawls again, and Roman reaches, but The Revival attack!! They go right at Roman!

Winners: Roman & Rollins, by disqualification

Now Roman and Rollins fight off the #TopGuys, but McIntyre & Ziggler add on to make it 4v2!

Dash & Dawson aren’t waiting for later, they want revenge now. Meanwhile, Ziggler & McIntyre put Rollins in the ring. The Revival whip Roman into steel steps, but Rollins works to fight off McIntyre and Ziggler! He can’t, it’s still 2v1. Dash & Dawson keep Roman down while Ziggler & McIntyre hit Rollins with Zig-Zag Claymore! Then Roman is brought into the ring by The Revival. Fans boo while they bring Roman up, for SHATTER MACHINE!

Will Rollins be okay in time for the Ironman match? Will Roman be okay for his second match later tonight?

 

Kevin meets with  Angle backstage.

Something has to be done about Bruan Strowman. They cant have someone running around doing whatever they want! Well, they settle things in the ring, so does Kevin want a match? No! He just wants Strowman to go away. Put him in counseling! No, suspend him! No, FIRE him! Actually, Angle feels like Kevin should face Strowman tonight. The worst case scenario for Kevin has happened, will he survive Strowman tonight?

 

Constable Baron Corbin heads to the ring.

After their tag team dysfunction led to a loss, “Stephanie McMahon’s personally appointed” Constable Corbin has words for the Extraordinary Finn Balor. He is here to help. It doesn’t matter who they are or who they are, everyone needs help to reach their full potential. If a boss chews you out, they’re trying to help. If a teacher sends you to detention or a police officer gives you a ticket, they’re just helping. Corbin is constable to help Angle be a better GM and all the superstars reach their full potential.

Though, there’s always someone to proud to accept the help. Finn was exhausted so Corbin tagged in, yet Finn kicks him down. That’s why Corbin pulled him from the ring to talk strategy. They ended up fighting, and they got counted out. Such behavior is “inappropriate and unprofessional.” Therefore, Corbin invites Finn out here so Finn can apologize to Corbin. Finn accepts the invitation and does head to the ring.

Corbin thanks Finn for cooperating. This doesn’t have to be hard, just admit you were wrong and that you’ll never do that again. Finn doesn’t speak, so Corbin apologizes first. When he hit Finn, he was just trying to communicate. He forgets he’s so much bigger, stronger and tougher, so he’s sorry. Finn’s turn. Finn says he’s sorry, that his comments about the vest got Corbin fired from TGI Friday’s.

Corbin gets it, Finn is angry over a loss two weeks ago. Corbin will be the bigger man, because he actually is. Finn, say you’re sorry. Finn does feel Corbin needs an apology. Form whoever gave Corbin that haircut. “Listen, you little twerp!” He knows it’s hard out there for guys like Finn, who doesn’t get the opportunities or the pay like Corbin does. Stephanie made Corbin a constable for a reason, so give him the respect he deserves! Fans say “No! No!” but Finn says, “I’m sorry. But you stopped deserving anyone’s respect the day you became Stephanie’s stooge!” Corbin hits Finn! He drags Finn up, then whips Finn, but Finn dodges to Slingblade! Then to wreck Corbin with a dropkick! Finn climbs up, takes aim, but Corbin retreats. This isn’t over between them, who will be the sorry one when it’s all over?

 

Elias plays when the Riott Squad appear.

Is the Drifter performing tonight? For Sioux Falls? No. But for Liv & Sarah, he has a song in mind. Liv & Sarah like it, they #StartARiott! Thanks, Elias! These two are headed out, even with their Squad Leader down with injury. Can they represent for Ruby to the fullest tonight?

 

Ember Moon VS Liv Morgan w/ Sarah Logan!

The Prophecy of Flame has been on fire since coming to Raw, but so has the Riott Squad since the Superstar Shake-Up. Team leader Ruby is out with a leg injury, but that doesn’t mean the riot has to end. Will #LivStrong win strong against the rising War Goddess? Or will Ember Eclipse the wild ones tonight?

The bell rings and Ember ties up with Liv. Liv powers Ember to ropes but Ember standing switches. Liv gets a headlock, but Ember powers out. She still gets whipped but counters the hip-toss with an arm-drag. Ember sweeps then kicks Liv down, cover, ONE. Ember grabs Liv in a facelock, but Sarah coaches Liv up. Liv slips out to rock Ember with a right! Liv puts the headlock back on, and gives a noogie. Ember endures, but Liv gets the takeover. Ember sits up and rolls Liv off. Liv sings but Ember springboards to crossbody! Cover, TWO! Liv rolls away while we go to break.

Raw returns and Liv thrashes Ember around in a full nelson. Fans rally and Ember gets up. Ember breaks free with butt bumps, then slips down to roll Liv into an ankle lock! But Liv throws Ember into ropes! Then she rocks Ember with an enziguri! Cover, TWO, and Liv grows frustrated. She slams Ember’s face off the mat, then drags her back into the full nelson. Liv thrashes Ember around again, but fans still rally. Ember powers up again and arm-drags Liv off. Liv comes back with a forearm, but so does Ember. Liv backs Ember down and knocks her off her feet! She stalks Ember, then drags her up. “You are nothing!” Liv goes for a bulldog, but Ember puts Liv into buckles, then STOMPS her! Ember throws Liv to the center, then climbs up. Sarah panics, ECLIPSE!! Cover, Ember wins!

Winner: Ember Moon, by pinfall

Sarah rushes the ring, but Ember gets away. The Squad is furious, but the Moon rises higher and higher. Can Ember reach the top and challenge the champion in the future?

 

Raw looks at more of the friendship counseling between Sasha, Bayley & Dr. Shelby.

The doctor seems to be at his wit’s end already, and this is just the first day. They spent hours, can they just go? It’s clearly not working. Shelby says we know how Sasha feels, but how doe sBayley feel? But Bayley can’t answer, it’s Sasha’s role to play. It will be role-playing, Sasha is Bayley and Bayley is Sasha. So how doe s”Bayley” feel? Sasha puts on her best Bayley and says “when I grow up, I’m gonna be a champion! Not because I deserve it, but because I collected a bunch of autographs!” Bayley acts like she’s five and is everyone’s friend, and loves hugs, yay~! Okay… So how does “Sasha” feel to hear that?

Bayley puts on Sasha’s jewelry and says that if no one calls her the The Boss, she’ll stab you in the back. If you get ahead of her, she stabs you in the back! It doesn’t matter, she’ll just stab you in the back! And her neighbor’s mailman’s cousin is Snoop Dog! The Boss~! Is that funny? They argue again, but Shelby tries to bring up the principles of friendship. They both tell him to shut up, so he loses his cool! Will this ever sort itself out?

 

Bobby Lashley & Roman Reigns VS The Revival!

It may be the third time around, but that’s just to prove the #TopGuys didn’t win on a fluke. Of course, this time won’t exactly be fair with Dash & Dawson beating Roman up earlier. Will they get a guaranteed win tonight over Roman & Lashley? Or will Roman personally see to them not making it out of the ring?

Lashley lets Roman start, and Dawson circles with The Big Dog. Fans duel again as Roman and Dawson tie up. Roman powers Dawson to a corner, but then Roman gets back as Dawson tries to sucker punch the ribs. Dawson talks strategy with Dash before getting Roman in a waistlock then wristlock. Roman reverses, and puts on a headlock. Dawson fights back with body shots, then kicks. Dawson keeps on Roman’s ribs, which he and Dash beat up to begin with. Roman hits back with uppercuts and haymakers, sending Dawson out of the ring. The #TopGuys regroup, but Lashley wants in. Roman refuses, his pride/ego won’t let him. Dawson returns, and Dash flanks him from the outside. The ref keeps Dash back but Dawson gets Roman with body shots!

Dawson tags Dash in but Roman fights back. Roman throws Dawson out, but Dash drops him with a dropkick. Dash knees Roman in the ribs at the ropes, and Lashley knew this was going to happen. Dash stomps away, then tags Dawson. They drag Roman to the apron for Dawson to club away at those ribs. Dawson brings Roman back up and in, then kicks the ribs. Fans chant for Bobby, but Dawson puts Roman in body scissors. Dawson also grinds his forearm into Roman’s face and traps the arms so Roman can’t grab ropes. Roman endures the squeeze, but he won’t give up. Fans rally, and Roman gets up. Roman hits back, but Dawson shoves. Dawson’s hip-toss is blocked, so he lariats Roman down. Tag to Dash, human weapon leg drop! Cover, TWO, but very close. Lashley grows concerned, more for his own win-loss record than Roman’s ribs.

Dash keeps on Roman, then tags Dawson in. Dawson kicks but Roman blocks to throw a haymaker. Roman keeps throwing hands, then whips. Dawson reverses the whip and kicks Roman in the ribs again. Dawson whips but Roman reverses to send Dawson into buckles! Fans cheer for Lashley, but Roman refuses to tag. Dash tags in but runs into the leaping lariat. Dawson gets a guillotine leg drop before he can get in! Roll up on Roman, TWO! SUPERMAN PUNCH! Cover, but Dawson breaks it. Lashley decides to just come in! He gives Dawson a spinebuster, then throws Dash out before giving Dawson another spinebuster! Lashley returns to the corner and wants the tag, but Roman still refuses. Roman aims at Dash, goes to howl, but Dawson grabs his leg! The Revival swarm on Roman in the corner! The referee rings the bell!

Winners: Reigns & Lashley, by disqualification

Dash & Dawson keep stomping Roman, but Lashley leaves him?! Lashley told Roman his ego would do this to him, so he lets it happen. Roman gets another SHATTER MACHINE! Then, a SUPER Splash! The Alpha Male lets the Big Dog suffer for his own ego. He and Roman still get the win in the record books, but we all know the truth. Can Roman recover if he ever wants to run His Yard again?

 

Kevin brings the “chaos” up to Angle.

This can’t keep happening. The first thing to do: cancel his match with Strowman. He’s right, right? No, that match is still on. Kevin can help Angle organize his office! Or get him Shania Twain tickets! He’s friends with her, you know. Kevin is not getting out of his match. Fine! You don’t deserve Shania tickets. Kevin storms off, preparing for the worst.

 

Angle meets with Roman.

Roman wants to know what he has to do? Don’t worry, the match is set. Lashley asked for this match, too. Then they better start looking for a replacement, because Roman is going to lay Lashley’s “punk ass” out.

 

Mojo Rawley VS No Way Jose!

The man with #KillerInstinct refused this rematch last week, but after sucker punching the Fighting Fiesta, seems both men have no way around it. But Mojo says he made himself clear last week. Mojo paid the price already just to lace up his boots in a WWE ring. And what does Mojo do with the same opportunity? He dances and dances. So they’re just supposed to have a rematch? No way, Jose. Jose swings but Mojo knocks him down again! Then he goes up to the conga line, grabs the guy in a cheeseburger costume, and throws him! Then the POUNCE! That wasn’t Todd, but still.

Jose goes after Mojo again, but is rammed into the LED apron again and again and again! Mojo finishes it with a choke slam to the apron! He leaves Jose and the cheeseburger down and out. Will Mojo continue to show no mercy to anyone undeserving?

 

Exclusive interview with Ronda Rousey.

While the Baddest Woman on the Planet is suspended for 30 days, she can still talk. She’s excited to hear Alexa Bliss has to defend against Nia Jax. Ronda won’t have to stay away from a PPV, she promises to be front row at Extreme Rules!

 

Mickie James w/ Alexa Bliss VS Nia Jax!

The Goddess is running out of time before having to face the Irresistible Force, as well as having Ronda on the sidelines from the suspension. Can the six-time former champion soften the challenger up for Alexa? Or is she just a lamb being led to slaughter for the Goddess’ sake?

Nia knows when she defeated Alexa back at Wrestlemania, she thought she was done with Alexa. But she wasn’t. Then when she squashed Alexa at Backlash, that should’ve been the end. But wrong again. Then, the “legal” MITB cash-in brings us back to square one. “But this needs to end.” At Extreme Rules, with Ronda ringside, it will. In fact, Angle made their rematch… Oh yes, AN EXTREME RULES MATCH! But tonight, Mickie brought the little pest out here with her. Nia brought some back-up, too! It’s Natty! Will the Queen of Harts keep the “pesky” Goddess out of this match?

The bell rings and Mickie throws hands on Nia, but Nia shoves her away. Mickie kicks and throws more hands, but Nia headbutts her down. Mickie tries a third time, but Nia powers her into buckles. Nia squashes Mickie, then throws her across the way. Mickie crawls to ropes, but Nia is on her. Mickie elbows and kicks Nia back, then runs, but into the bulldozing! Nia stalks Mickie but Mickie gets to the apron. Nia swipes at Mickie but Mickie gets away to the barriers. Mickie tries to run when Nia pursues, but Nia grabs her and brings her into a fireman’s carry. Alexa saves Mickie but Natty reinforces Nia. It’s a stand-off while we go to break.

Raw returns and Mickie has Nia down and out on the outside. Nia climbs up but Mickie baseball slides Nia back down. Mickie goes after the leg with swift kicks, then gets back into the ring. Nia slowly gets in and still beats the count at 8. Mickie goes after the leg more, and Alexa mocks Nia’s pain. Fans rally while Nia endures more kicks. Nia puts Mickie in a corner but Mickie hits back again. Mickie kicks and kicks, keeping Nia down on her knees. Nia pushes Mickie but Mickie keeps kicking. Mickie runs and dropkicks Nia’s legs out! Mickie has Nia in a corner, and hotshots the leg! Nia writhes in pain, but Natty keeps the fans rallying. Mickie grabs the leg to drop an elbow on the knee. Nia endures and clubs Mickie back.

Nia grabs hair but Mickie grinds her elbow into the knee. They keep fighting on the mat. Nia gets Mickie in body scissors! Fans rally as Nia squeezes Mickie. Mickie reaches ropes and gets the ropebreak. Nia holds on but lets go at 4. Mickie throws hands but Nia gives a headbutt. Nia rallies with lariats, then pulls Mickie up. She shrieks as she puts Mickie in a corner, but she runs into boots. Mickie goes for the Mick-canrana, but Nia blocks. Mickie pops out and kicks the legs again. She aims at Nia, swings the kick, but Nia blocks it! Mickie slaps Nia, but Nia brings her up for the sit-out powerbomb! Alexa distracts the ref, so Natty trips her up! Nia sneers at Alexa, then goes back to Mickie, Samoan Drop! Cover, Nia wins!

Winner: Nia Jax, by pinfall

The Irresistible Force toughs it out, and with a little help from her friend, she stands tall. With the rules brought to their extreme, does Alexa stand a chance against her archenemy?

 

Kevin is trying, but it’s not working.

Why isn’t his meditating working? Jinder Mahal explains, but Kevin just can’t get it. Find inner peace. You must repeat the mantra. But he doesn’t want to. Charly comes over and asks if he’s shaken up. Kevin isn’t shaken! Just surprised by her is all. Kevin is glad he’s facing Strowman tonight! He is? Yes! Why would he be shaken up> Just because Strowman looks at him like a slab of bacon? Some people would be terrified of a monster, but Kevin’s faced the monster before. Kevin feels he knows everything about the monster now. He’ll go in that ring, and show the world how you destroy a monster! He goes back to meditating with Mahal, will it be enough to prepare for Strowman?

 

Backstage interview with Bobby Lashley.

How does he feel about getting Roman reigns in a match at Extreme Rules? We all saw it, Roman was feeding his own ego not tagging out. Roman got what he deserved in that tag match. The only reason Roman got what he’s gotten is because Lashley hasn’t been here. Roman’s “yard” would’ve just been a concrete patch in a trailer park. Will Lashley take over the Yard as the new Guy? Or will Roman reaffirm his Empire?

 

Kevin Owens VS Braun Strowman!

The Prizefighter wanted to be a friend, but when Strowman refused, he no longer wanted a thing to do with the #MonsterintheBank. The problem is, Strowman isn’t finished with Kevin, as he literally flipped Kevin’s car with his bare hands. Win or lose, will they be finished after tonight?

Raw returns one more time, and this match begins. Kevin fires up and ties up with Strowman, but Strowman just shoves him to a corner. Strowman roars, so Kevin bails out. Kevin hears the ring count begin, and he runs away! And he doesn’t come back. The count hits 10, Strowman wins!

Winner: Braun Strowman, by count out

But Strowman is now in hot pursuit! Kevin hurries to get out of the building and back to his car. But where are his keys?! He likely left them with his luggage in the locker room. Kevin isn’t sure what to do, so he tries to find a hiding place. He has no choice: portapotty. Strowman traces Kevin’s steps, but can’t find him. The valet attendant runs away, but Strowman keeps searching. Strowman walks down the parking lot, but can’t find Kevin. Fans chant “portapotty!” in hopes he hears. Strowman searches more, but that’s when he smells something. He smells Kevin’s fear! And more other things…? “Anybody in there?” “Go away.” So Strowman tapes up the portapotty! “I told you I’d find you!” Kevin panics and begs for mercy, but Strowman pulls the portapotty around, into the arena!

Kevin continues to beg, but he can’t do a thing as Strowman pulls the potty along. Strowman goes all the way back to ringside, knocking down anything in his way. Strowman shakes the portapotty, then drags it up to the stage. Kevin continues to beg, but Strowman ignores him. Strowman brings the portapotty across the stage, then makes sure Kevin is still conscious in there. He shoves the portapotty closer to the edge, but not all the way over. Strowman backs away, and fans know what’s coming next. Strowman runs at the portapotty and RAMS it off the stage!!

Kevin is likely battered, bruised and a mess… Fans fitting chant “holy sh*t!” The Monster looks down upon Kevin as security and medics drag him out of the wreckage and waste. Between the pain and the humiliation, will Kevin ever show his face around Raw again?

 


 

My Thoughts:

I think Raw has relapsed to the lackluster stuff from last year. Like, I think last Summer was just as bad for Raw as this Summer has been. As if fans didn’t have enough reason to dislike Roman being shoved down our throats, he gets a double-header tonight given his stories crossing over. Him having a match with Rollins against McIntyre-Ziggler would’ve been good instead of yet another team-up with Lashley, and to his character’s credit, Roman said as much. But Angle insisted and we got a double dose of The Big Dog. Though it also went in character for The Revival to attack. I just wish Roman had stayed out of the second match for whatever reason, like he was that beat up or Angle thought better of it. But at least we get Lashley VS Roman for the sake of pride.

The B Team is on the weirdest roll. Axel goes up 2-0 on Hardy (likely meant to be Bo VS Bray if Bray didn’t get in that car accident), but there’s still time before their title match. I still don’t think B Team will win, but if they do, holy crap that’d be shocking. Meanwhile, it was a given that the AoP were going to win against Titus Worldwide. I hope for AoP’s sake that they’re in the title scene going towards Summerslam, even if it’s in a crazy free-for-all with The Revival and I guess even Ziggler-McIntyre. Another unfortunate accident was Ruby Riott’s, hers might be a bit more serious. Liv & Sarah still hold their own as an act, but going by how Ember won tonight, their numbers game is obviously their strong suit, and being a woman down, it won’t work as well as it used to.

Hooray for having Dr. Shelby back to help Bayley & Sasha. Though, unlike Team Hell No uniting, this will (and should) have a complete meltdown and we get an Extreme Rules match. I was hoping this would be the one to be the Extreme Rules match, but that goes to Nia VS Alexa with Ronda in the front row, so that Ronda can get involved without the match being thrown out. Extreme Rules really should just be a PPV where all matches are No DQ by default, but WWE doesn’t want to risk (more) injuries. Nia and Mickie did great tonight, and if the team of Nia & Natty holds up, possible team for a possible Women’s Tag Division? Lastly, Strowman and Kevin basically save the night with that “match” and the portapotty spot at the end there. I bet they’ll have another match at the PPV that Kevin again won’t want.

My Score: 7.8/10


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Mitchell’s WWE 205 Live Results & Report! (4/16/21)

Will Retro take down The Premier?

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Coverage 205 2021

Tony Nese defends that 205 Live is still HIS show!

The Premier Athlete says he IS Mr. 205 Live, but that could all change! Will August Grey lead the way for the purple ‘n’ orange?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Ashante “Thee” Adonis VS Jake Atlas; Atlas wins.
  • August Grey VS Tony Nese; Grey wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Ashante “Thee” Adonis VS Jake Atlas!

The Braggadocios learned savvy from THE Brian Kendrick, but in a roundabout way, the Muscle of El Monte learned aggression from The Psycho Killer! Who puts the lessons learned into practice now that WWE is past WrestleMania?

The bell rings and Atlas circles with Adonis. Fans rally as they approach, and Adonis gives a testing kick to the arm. Atlas shakes that off but Adonis kicks him again. Atlas eggs Adonis on, then swats the kick to wrench the arm! Atlas YANKS the arm, wrenches to an elbow breaker then clamps down on it. Adonis gets up but Atlas brings him back down. Adonis reverses the armlock but Atlas reverses it back. Adonis rolls Atlas but Atlas shifts right back to the armlock. Fans rally, Adonis fights up but Atlas shoves him away to then arm-drag on the rebound! Atlas grinds the arm, Adonis fights up, but Atlas whips Adonis to arm-drag again!

Atlas goes after the arm and wrangles Adonis back down. Adonis fights up but Atlas whips, only for Adonis to fake the arm-drag out! Adonis KNEES Atlas in the side, but Atlas shoves him! Adonis shoves back, they lock up and go around! They end up on ropes, the ref has them break. Adonis swings, Atlas ducks it but Adonis returns the favor. Adonis back suplexes, Atlas lands on his feet, slides under and runs, but into a LARIAT! Adonis seethes as he stalks Atlas to a corner, and then RAMS his shoulder in! Adonis throws EuroUppers, follows Atlas and throws more EuroUppers! Atlas CHOPS back! And CHOPS again!

Atlas CLUBS Adonis, CHOPS him in a corner, but Adonis kicks back! Adonis ROCKS Atlas in the corner, CHOPS him, and then whips him corner to corner. Atlas reverses but Adonis reverses back, only to miss in the corner! Atlas WRINGS the arm out, then goes up top! Atlas aims, but Adonis trips up the cartwheel! Atlas is stuck on the top rope, AIRDROP sends Atlas to the floor! Adonis goes out to fetch Atlas, and RAM him into boards! Adonis SLAMS Atlas’ arm into the steel steps! Adonis gets Atlas up an din the ring at 7 of 10, then covers, TWO! Atlas toughs it out and fans rally up as he crawls for ropes. Adonis gets the arm first, wrenches it, and uppercuts the triceps!

Adonis WRINGS Atlas’ arm in return, then covers, TWO! Atlas grits his teeth but Adonis is after the arm! Adonis wants a Fujiwara but Atlas turns it to a cover, TWO! Adonis still has the arm, shifts around and goes for the Fujiwara again! Atlas endures as Adonis bends the arm back, and he powers up to get around. Atlas throws body shots, Adonis CLUBS the arm, repeat! Adonis bumps Atlas off buckles, but Atlas elbows back! Atlas boots the clothesline away then back kicks, ax kicks and BOOTS Adonis! Adonis resists the waistlock and elbows free! Atlas EuroUppers Adonis, then rallies with clotheslines! Atlas spins Adonis to WHEEL KICK! Adonis staggers into a GERMAN SUPLEX! Cover, TWO!!

Atlas couldn’t hold Adonis down because of the bad arm! Atlas tastes his own blood in his mouth but that only fires him up! Fans rally as Atlas climbs a corner, but Adonis intercepts with a forearm! Adonis goes up, he and Atlas brawl up top but Atlas ROCKS Adonis! Adonis comes back to ROCKET LAUNCH Atlas down! Atlas slowly rises, Adonis climbs up and leaps, BIG CROSSBODY! Cover, TWO! Atlas survives and Adonis is growing frustrated. Adonis kicks Atlas to the apron. Adonis stands Atlas up, rolls him through the ropes, TWO! Adonis back drops but Atlas sunset flips, TWO! KNEE TRIGGER! And a ROLLING ELBOW!

Atlas GOURD BUSTERS Adonis to the drop zone, then goes up top. Atlas hits the CARTWHEEL DDT!! Cover, Atlas wins!

Winner: Jake Atlas, by pinfall

It seems Old Man Ciampa’s lessons paid off! Will Atlas lift himself up towards a title opportunity now that Santos Escobar isn’t the champion?

 

August Grey VS Tony Nese!

#RetroAG finally got payback on Daivari Dinero, then was weirdly congratulated by him after defeating Adonis a few weeks ago. Will Daivari congratulate Grey again when he defeats Daivari’s fellow 205 Live OG? Or will the Premier Athlete prevent the new wave from taking over his brand?

Well Daivari is showing which side he’s on by accompanying Nese to the ring! Though he does get left hanging on that fist bump. Daivari joins commentary as the bell rings and Grey circles with Nese. They tie up, Nese waistlocks and slams Grey down! Nese then flexes on Grey, but fans are on Grey’s side as he and Nese circle again. Grey and Nese tie up, Grey waistlocks, but Nese hooks a leg to get the drop toehold. Nese floats to a facelock but Grey slips out to a hammerlock. Grey reels Nese in, Nese resists but Grey wrenches a wristlock to then headlock. Nese tries but can’t power out as Grey grinds him down. Nese tries again but Grey still holds on tight!

Nese fights up, powers out, and things speed up. Nese hurdles, Grey headlocks to the takeover! Fans cheer as Nese endures another grind. Nese fights up, powers Grey to a corner, and the ref counts. Nese is set free but he whips Grey corner to corner. Grey goes up and over and hits another headlock takeover! Nese pushes with forearms but Grey grinds the headlock. Nese fights up, fans rally and Nese powers out. Grey goes up and over again but Nese goes up and over, too! Nese does jumping jacks just to show off. Grey runs, into an arm-drag, but he gets the headlock! Nese rolls Grey off but Grey does the jumping jacks in return!

Grey side-steps Nese, blocks the hip toss and dodges the clothesline to headlock again. Nese counters as he back suplexes Grey down! Nese kicks and stomps Grey around, covers, TWO! Nese grows annoyed as he gets Grey up and kicks him in the stomach! Fans rally for Grey but Nese hauls Grey up in a pump handle! Grey slips free, drop toeholds Nese onto ropes, then dials it up for a SLIDING STRADDLE! Grey ROCKS Nese with an uppercut, then climbs up, SHORYUKEN from Nese! Grey is stuck on the ropes, Nese runs in to TOP SHELF KICK, to the fireman’s carry and GUTBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Nese stomps Grey down and then looms over him.

Nese soaks up heat from the fans as he kicks Grey in the side. Nese whips Grey hard into the corner and Grey bounces off buckles! Nese flexes on Grey again and Daivari cheers the peak. Nese kicks Grey to a corner, Grey hits back with body shots! Grey throws haymakers but Nese hits a BIG back suplex! Cover, TWO! Nese goes to a corner and unties a buckle pad? The ref stops him before he can finish, and Grey trips Nese up! Grey gives Nese a taste of his own medicine, catapult into that buckle! Roll up and cover, TWO! Grey CHOPS Nese, whips but Nese reverses to then slide and pump handle, for the scoop and DRIVER! Cover, TWO!!

Grey survives but Daivari says Nese’s got this. Grey gets to a corner, Nese storms over to give him kicks in the ribs! Grey throws body shots and forearms and a CHOP! Nese runs into a back elbow, Grey boots but that’s blocked. Nese throws the foot down but Grey ROCKS him! Grey runs to RANA, then CLOBBER Nese! Grey goes for a gut wrench, Nese back drops but Grey sunset flips! Nese rolls through to back KICK Grey down! Cover, TWO!! Grey survives but Nese puts on the squeeze! Grey endures, pries the feet apart but Nese shifts to a headlock. Nese knees Grey, then talks trash. Nese pushes Grey around but fans taunt Nese, “You Still Suck!” Grey CHOPS Nese, then JABS! CHOP! JAB!

Nese puts Grey in a corner but Grey dodges to CHOP and stomp away! Grey fires off hands, the ref counts and Grey stops at 4. Grey whips, Nese reverses but Grey comes back to LARIAT! Grey spins Nese to hit a jawbreaker, to NECKBREAKER! Grey handsprings and fans fire up with him! Daivari doesn’t like the showboating, but Nese throws Grey to the apron. Grey ROCKS Nese in return, then goes up top! Tightrope CROSSBODY! Grey rains down rights and then ROCKS Nese again! Grey hits the EXTRA LARGE BACK SUPLEX! Cover, TWO! Daivari says it takes more than that to stop the Premier Athlete, the 205 Live OG! Grey gets up, brings Nese up but Nese throat chops!

Grey gasps, Nese talks trash, and then Nese runs with Grey, but Grey blocks the hotshot! Grey shoulders but into a kick! Nese slingshots, into a HOTSHOT CUTTER! Grey gets Nese in, for another Extra Large, but Nese lands on his feet! Nese gets a cover, TWO! Nese mule kicks, front kicks, knee lifts and enziguris! Nese whips, uses that to slide, but Grey rolls through to SUPERKICK! Nese tumbles out, Grey DIVES! Direct hit and Nese is sent flying over the announce desk! Fans fire up and Daivari has to get out of his seat because of that. Grey gets back to the ring, the ring count is 5 of 10! It keeps going, 7 of 10 but Nese is still down. Will Grey learn from last time?

NOPE! Grey goes out at 9 because he wants to win this in the ring! Daivari brings up how that messed him up with Mansoor, but Grey tells him to shut up. Nese rolls Grey up, but Grey turns it around! Grey wins!!

Winner: August Grey, by pinfall

What was that about messing up? Grey won “the right way,” but Daivari says it was just dumb luck! Will AG keep getting the better of the OG on 205 Live?


My Thoughts:

A very fun, very good 205 Live to get back to new content after WrestleMania. Atlas VS Adonis was a very good match, started to feel like the early days of 205 Live that we just relived last week. Atlas and Adonis being names from Greek myth, I kinda want them to try being a team at some point. Though at the same time, that feels like something early 2000’s WWE would do and maybe it’s best if they don’t? Who knows, maybe give it a try, see if something comes of it.

Grey VS Nese was also really good, and the story that’s building with Grey and these OG is pretty good. Daivari on commentary was explaining how Grey winning against Adonis with the feet on ropes was a twinkling of him being compatible with Daivari & Nese, who are solidly Heel. But Grey resisting that and doing things the solidly Face way is a good story in itself, so I hope this is how Grey builds himself up to at least try for the Cruiserweight Championship. Grey’s got a lot of innovative moves, as well, so I’d definitely be okay with seeing him try those with Kushida, maybe even Swerve and Ruff.

My Score: 8.2/10


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Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (4/16/21)

SmackDown is up, and WE! WANT! THE SMOKE!!

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Coverage SmackDown 2021

The SmackDown After WrestleMania puts more gold on the line!

After WrESTleMania, we have a NEW SmackDown Women’s Champion in Bianca Belair! But will we have new tag team champions to match? It’s The Dirty Dawgs VS The Street Profits in 2v2 competition!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Rey Mysterio w/ Dominik Mysterio VS Otis w/ Chad Gable; Rey wins.
  • Roman Reigns w/ Paul Heyman VS Cesaro; cancelled.
  • Sami Zayn VS Kevin Owens; Kevin wins.
  • SmackDown Tag Team Championships: The Dirty Dawgs VS The Street Profits; The Dirty Dawgs win and retain the titles.
  • Natalya w/ Tamina VS Shayna Baszler w/ Nia Jax; Natalya wins.
  • Cesaro VS Jey Uso w/ Paul Heyman; Cesaro wins, by disqualification.

PLAY BY PLAY

Pat McAfee joins SmackDown commentary!

The Punter of the Decade joins Michael Cole and it is his honor to be here!

 

Roman Reigns heads to the ring!

The Tribal Chief is STILL WWE Universal Champion, and he again has Jey Uso and Paul Heyman by his side as he holds that belt up high in the ThunderDome. Fans boo and give thumbs down but that just makes Heyman laugh. Heyman hands the mic to Roman, but fans chant, “You Suck!” Roman says it is no secret, “we put a lot of eyes on SmackDown.” So for the new viewers, let’s tell them about the men Roman beat in the main event of WrestleMania. Heyman says he would be honored.

First is Edge, an ELEVEN time world champion, married to a hall of famer and is a hall of famer in his own right. Then there’s Daniel Bryan, a FIVE time world champion, also married to a hall of famer, and will “YES! YES! YES!” his way into the hall of fame when he retires, which should be soon after Roman stacked them and pinned them together. Take all of their accomplishments combined and the enormity of both men’s legacies, who came up against Roman, it was practically a Handicap match in THE main event of WrestleMania. McAfee agrees on commentary.

Roman says he took a page from Heyman’s playbook and Babe Ruth’d it! He called his shot: He was gonna smash ’em, stack ’em, and pin ’em 1-2-3. Then, they would #AcknowledgeMe. Now to be honest, it’s embarrassing! If Roman was another man, he’d never want to be in that situation. WWE will probably never put him in a Triple Threat again after that. Nobody wants to face Roman! No one wants that to happen to them! These were hall of famers, and he smashed ’em, stacked ’em and pinned ’em. And if he’s doing that to guys like that, who will want it next? Nobody! “Don’t nobody want to step to me now!” Not worth it! No one measures up to Roman, no one is on his level.

So after fulfilling the obligations and opened Roman’s show, cut the check, fire up the jet, time to go home. Heyman takes the mics for Roman, but here comes CESARO! The Swiss Cyborg finally had and won his first singles match at WrestleMania, and is now getting in Roman’s face! He looks at the Universal Championship, then gets a mic. Roman still takes his leave, but Cesaro figured as much. Cesaro doesn’t get to say his piece, but will he make Roman acknowledge him?

 

Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville talk backstage.

Cesaro walks by, they congratulate him on his Mania win, but he asks if they saw what “that son of a bitch” Roman did. No one is going to step up? Cesaro will. Not even for the title! He just wants a match tonight. Sonya says she’ll talk to Roman and see if he’ll accept that. Cesaro is fine with that, but is Pearce?

 

Rey Mysterio w/ Dominik Mysterio VS Otis w/ Chad Gable!

While the King and Prince of Lucha didn’t get those SmackDown Tag Team Championships off Dolph Ziggler & Robert Roode, neither did the Alpha Academy. This battle has been brewing for months after Gable unleashed The Dozer on Rey’s ribs. Will Rey get his revenge and his redemption going 1v1 with the big man?

The bell rings, and Otis CLOBBERS Rey with his gut already! Otis gets Rey up, CLUBS him on the back, then looms over him as he writhes. Otis scoops Rey, pops him up to a military press, and then DROPS Rey! Gable cheers Otis on while Dom coaches Rey up. But Otis brings Rey up to SLIDE him out! Rey rolls through to come back and shoulder into Otis! Rey fires forearms, hotshots Otis away, then goes up a corner, only for Otis to trip him! Rey ends up in a Tree of Woe, Otis stomps a mudhole into him! The ref backs Otis off, but Otis comes back, only for Rey to sit up! Otis hits buckles, Rey turns around and leaps to SEATED SENTON! BASEMENT SEEATED SENTON! Cover, TOW!

Rey kicks but Otis blocks the whip. Otis whips Rey away, Rey ducks and springboards, into Otis’ arms! POWERSLAM! Gable tells Otis to keep on Rey and Otis drags him to a drop zone. Otis goes up the corner, leaps, but FLOPS as Rey rolls out of the way! Dom coaches Rey up, Gable shouts to Otis, and Rey dropkicks Otis onto ropes! Rey dials it up, but Otis comes back! Rey trips Otis onto ropes, and hits the 619! Rey hurries up top again but Otis is back up! Rey leaps, for a CRUCIFIX DRIVER! Cover, Rey wins!!

Winner: Rey Mysterio, by pinfall

That’s a huge win for Mysterio! The Dozer is furious but will he have to go back to the drawing board?

 

Kayla Braxton talks with Paul Heyman.

And from the look on Heyman’s face, he is both shocked and offended that SmackDown management wants Roman to compete tonight! It’ll be non-title, but will it even happen? We find out, after the break!

SmackDown returns and Kayla asks if Heyman accepts the challenge. That’s the question? Yes, because that’s what we do around here in the WWE: “We put smiles on the faces of Neanderthals, like Cesaro.” Does Kayla have any clue the enormity of the star power that is possessed by Roman and its affect on the ENTIRE WWE Universe? What happened on Saturday? Oh~ a rain delay! Rain delay, Heyman’s “kosher tuchus.” Those were the tears of the angels descending upon Tampa over the BEATING Roman was going to give, and that is what happened! Roman walked out champion, and neither Bryan nor Edge walked out of Raymond James at all.

And as Heyman was walking back with Roman, they were stepping in puddles, and Heyman said, “My goodness! Tears still descending from up above!” Except it wasn’t from the skies, but from the locker room. A visionary like Seth Rollins had to lower himself to face “a knuckle-dragging, slack-jawed, bucktooth Swiss quisling like Cesaro.” A billion dollar body but a 10 cent brain and THIS is who emerges to get in the face of Your Tribal Chief?! Cesaro is physically capable of being a great opponent, but he is not an attraction. He’s a joke!

So let’s put an end to the joke! Stop the train before it leaves the station! They will give Cesaro what he wants, tonight live on SmackDown! Cesaro in the main event against THE main event, Jey Uso. Of course Heyman had a way to change the course. But will Cesaro blast through the Right Hand Man to get at the Head of the Table, whether they like it or not?

 

Sami Zayn heads to the ring!

The Great Liberator didn’t defeat his long-time frenemy, and he didn’t even have Logan Paul on his side! And Sami loves to see the headlines outside of the one that is most accurate: “Sami Zayn Once Again SCREWED!” Where is that one, huh?! Well, does it exist…? Sami says it was his vindication! The stars were aligned, and he had the one star that matters in Logan Paul! Logan was supposed to help Sami expose the WWE and celebrate his grand victory, but that’s not how it went down, did it?

And here’s why: Logan’s mind was poisoned by Kevin Owens and the WWE Universe talking bad about Sami, like he’s a crackpot! It was poisoned by management, and the “corporate mouthpiece,” Michael Cole! They got in Logan’s head and Sami could sense it and feel it as he hugged Logan! And then in the match, of course he was distracted! Sami was worried about Logan! And that is the only reason, THE ONLY REASON, Kevin squeaked out that win. And Kevin is back there, obviously. Sami will not be denied vindication! Sami calls Kevin out for a rematch! There’s nothing to distract him, there are no toxic fans or stupid Logan Paul and his warped mind! No distractions, no way for Kevin to steal this!

But that’s why Kevin won’t come out, because- Wait, Kevin DOES come out to the ring! Kevin says if Sami’s gonna keep making excuses, then here we go! This WrestleMania rematch happens, after the break!

Sami Zayn VS Kevin Owens!

The bell rings and Sami bails out! Kevin smirks because he knew this would happen. Kevin slides out but Sami slides in. Then Kevin slide sin, but that’s a fake-out! Sami is on the outside and Kevin fires off! Kevin bounces Sami off the desk, puts him in the ring, and CHOPS him to a corner! And CHOPS again! Sami stumbles to another corner but Kevin gives him body shots! The ref counts, Kevin lets off, and then comes back, but Sami hits first! Sami whips corner to corner, Kevin comes back to CLOBBER Sami! BACK SENTON! Sami is in a corner, Kevin runs in but Sami bails out. Kevin goes to the apron but Sami hotshots him! Then BLINDSIDES him!

Sami rains down furious fists from all sides! Sami lets off to snarl and seethe. Sami puts Kevin on the ropes and chokes him! The ref counts, Sami lets off at 4 and CLUBS Kevin! Kevin gets up to CHOP back! Sami stomps Kevin to a corner, digs his boots in, and even stands on Kevin! The ref counts, Sami lets off, and then Sami throws haymakers. Kevin hits back, counter punches, and backs Sami down. Sami jawbreakers in return! Sami CHOPS Kevin against ropes, then whips him to ropes. Kevin reverses but Sami kicks back, only for Kevin to LARIAT! Kevin reels Sami in, suplexes to hang Sami out to dry, and Sami springs off the ropes to hit the mat!

Kevin fires off on Sami in a corner, hoists him up top and CHOPS him again! Kevin climbs up, Sami throws elbows and then adjusts to sunset flip POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO!! Kevin survives, Sami argues with the ref, and SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns and Sami is again fighting Kevin off on the top rope. Kevin hits back, climbs back up, and Sami throws headbutts! Kevin falls back, Sami adjusts and leaps, but Kevin gets clear! Kevin SUPERKICKS Sami down! Cover, TWO!! Sami survives but Kevin hurries right to the top rope! SWANTON BOMB!! Cover, TWO!! Sami survives again and Kevin is beside himself! Kevin shakes his head as he stands Sami up, whips him, but Sami bails out to avoid a pop-up. Kevin pursues Sami as the ring count climbs, and gets him on the ramp to throw him into barriers! Kevin puts Sami back in at 5 of 10, knees low then whips, but Sami slips through the pop-up to get an arm!

Kevin fights the Half ‘n’ Half, then pump handles for the PACKAGE USHIGOROSHI!! Cover, TWO!!! Sami still survives that move, just like WrestleMania! Kevin gets annoyed, but he again has to pursue Sami on the outside. Kevin drags Sami from the barriers, puts him in, and kicks, but no Stunner! Sami again bails out, Kevin grabs at him on the apron, but Sami rakes Kevin’s eyes! The ring count is still climbing, though, but Sami wants to run away! Sami gets himself counted out, Kevin wins!

Winner: Kevin Owens, by count-out

Kevin wins again, but it seems Sami didn’t want revenge that badly. But Kevin pursues and goes after Sami with fists at the ramp! Kevin puts Sami in the ring, kicks and STUNNERS! It seems Kevin still hasn’t beaten sense into Sami, will these two #JustKeepFighting?

 

Apollo Crews speaks.

“All of Nigeria has not stopped celebrating, ever since I smashed Big E into oblivion and I became the new Intercontinental Champion!” And he would give Big E a rematch tonight, but he’s not here. And do you know why? Two words: Nigerian Nail! That is the name of the move used by this giant beside Apollo here. This is his commander of the guard, Azeez, former member of the Nigerian Elite Guard. If anyone dares come for Apollo, they will be annihilated by the Nigerian Nail!

 

The Street Profits head to the ring!

Montez Ford & Angelo Dawkins are going to be facing the Dirty Dawgs for the tag titles later tonight, but first they are going to celebrate the NEW SmackDown Women’s Champion! This will be the EST of celebrations, after the break!

SmackDown returns and Ford says it’s Friday Night, and he’s feelin’ right! Dawkins says it is official takeback season! Time to do spring cleaning to send Dolph & Roode back through that time warp they came out of so they can return to 1986. Oh, and about getting the shine back on those SmackDown tag titles! Right! The Dirty Dawgs will get snatched, but that’s not the only reason why the Solo cups are raised high. It’s been a long time, and they got some inspiration this past weekend. Some motivation! WrestleMania was a night for the ages, a night to remember!

One match in particular will be something Ford tells his grandkids about! That is the historic, the glass ceiling shattering SmackDown Women’s Championship! ROLL TAPE! Sasha Banks VS Bianca Belair, WrestleMania 37 Night One, the main event! Headlines were marking how amazing it was even before the bell, and no one could deny it after! We have a NEW SmackDown Women’s Champion, and it is Bianca Belair! Dawkins has the feels, fam! Ford says that as we just saw, the party isn’t over! The champagne for the campaign is not done popping. Saturday, that was a genuine moment that will be with them for the rest of their lives. And they just want to share that joy with the fans!

So they introduce to use, the roughest, the toughest, the quickest, the strongest, and the greatest part of Ford’s life, the NEW WWE SmackDown Women’s Champion, the EST, no no no, THE E S T of the W W E, BIANCA BELAIR!! Bianca makes her entrance, Ford and Dawkins sing her praises and the fans cheer on their ThunderDome screens! Bianca is handed a mic, and she feels like he’s been floating since Saturday! Her mind is blown, her heart is filled, and she feels blessed. But despite the setbacks, the struggles, she never stopped believing that this moment was possible.

And her family has been making history for generations, they are the ones who showed her that when you demand greatness from yourself, that no matter how hard the game gets, you can change the game! If you were to have asked her a year ago if she could ever imagine main-eventing Mania, winning the SmackDown Women’s Championship… Well she probably would’ve said yes! But that’s not because she’s cocky. That’s because she’s unapologetically her. Everyone has a little EST in them, and when you find it, you know that you’re talented and working hard, you never need to apologize for saying you are the B-E-S-T! “Because if you can dream it, you can do it.”

Bianca showed up, showed out, but it isn’t just about her. Sasha Banks, Bianca thanks you. There is no one she would’ve rather shared that spotlight because Sasha pushed her to her limits and it takes two. They BOTH made history. But… If Sasha ever tries to forget it, just know that Bianca left you with something to remember her by. That hair whip did leave a mark… But this is also about Sasha, too. This moment is so much bigger than them. This is about all the girls watching at Raymond James and at home, who saw Bianca and saw themselves. This is for you! That was Mania magic, but we’re only getting started!

Ford and Bianca hug, Dawkins joins in for a family moment, and Bianca says it’s time to drop the cups, throw the tissues away, and get those titles again. They only wear gold in this house. The Profits and the new SmackDown Women’s Champion are up, and #WeWantTheSmoke! Will this trio become truly golden after tonight?

 

Backstage interview with Sasha Banks.

After seeing Bianca out there, she is in no mood. The Boss still has the mark on her side, and she seethes. She takes a second to cool off, but it doesn’t work, and she storms off. Will Sasha find a way back to that title and to WrestleMania revenge?

 

Backstage interview with Bayley.

The Role Model acknowledges that Cesaro was super impressive with the UFO spin, as footage is replayed, but what about Sasha? She probably wants a rematch but is so angry she can’t say it. While Bayley was super busy trying to save both nights of Mania, Bianca was in the main event crying. Even before the match began! No one wants to say it but Bayley will: those tears was because Bianca thought she couldn’t win. Is that who you want as champion? And now she’s showboating and arrogant! That is NOT the kind of champion we should want!

So there is only one way to fix this, and restore dignity to the title: for Bayley, the longest reigning SmackDown Women’s Champion ever, to challenge Bianca and take that title! Will Bayley cut Sasha in line and get back to the gold first?

 

SmackDown Tag Team Championships: The Dirty Dawgs VS The Street Profits!

The Show-Off & The Glorious One made it through #WrestleManiaSmackDown and its Fatal 4 Way with these titles, but now they’re 2v2 with Ford & Dawkins! Will takeback season work out for the fam? We find out, after the break!

SmackDown returns and the titles are raised. Teams sort out, Ziggler starts with Dawkins and they circle. They feel out the grapple, Ziggler shoots in but Dawkins sprawls then shifts to a waistlock. Ziggler gets the ropebreak, the ref counts but Ziggler elbows free! Ziggler dares Dawkins to get up, then he gets Dawkins only for Dawkins to DECK him! Tag to Ford, the Profits whip Ziggler, Dawkins drops and Ford dropkicks Ziggler down! Cover, TWO! Ford gets Ziggler back up, snapmares him to basement dropkick! Cover, TWO! Ford keeps Ziggler from Roode, wrenches and armlocks to tag in Dawkins. Ford wrenches the arm again and again, Dawkins drops ax handles!

Dawkins wrenches, tags Ford back in, and now Ford drops ax handles! Ford mocks Roode but Ziggler ROCKS Ford! Roode tags in but Ford reverses the whip to send Ziggler into Roode! Tag to Dawkins, the Profits double whip to DOUBLE FLAPJACK! Ziggler comes in, but gets a DOUBLE FLAPJACK onto Roode! Ford throws Ziggler out, Dawkins gives Roode the CYCLONE SPLASH! Dawkins keeps moving, BULLDOG! Then a BIG shoulder tackle! The Profits are fired WAY up as SmackDown goes to break!

SmackDown returns again and Dawkins covers Roode, TWO! Dawkins keeps on Roode with a headlock, Roode powers out but Dawkins runs him over! Things keep moving, Dawkins leaping back elbows! Roode avoids the cyclone but Dawkins elbows him away. Ziggler distracts but Dawkins DECKS him, only to run into a GLORIOUS SPINEBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Ziggler tags in and DECKS Ford! Ziggler gets Dawkins up for a NECKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Ziggler tags Roode back in, the Dirty Dawgs mug Dawkins and Roode stomps Dawkins down. Roode brings Dawkins up to suplex high and hard, covers, TWO! Roode argues the count but it was fair.

Tag to Ziggler, the Dawgs mug Dawkins, and Ziggler taunts Ford before daring Dawkins to stand. Dawkins gets up, Ziggler slaps him around, but his dropkick is caught for a CATAPULT! Ziggler hits buckle and then the mat! Ford fires up on his corner and fans rally on the ThunderDome screens. Ziggler and Dawkins crawl, hot tags to Ford and Roode! Ford rallies with big clotheslines, then he TOSSES Ziggler for good measure! Dropkick for Roode, dropkick for Ziggler! Ford dodges Roode to BLOCKBUSTER! Ford CLOBBERS Ziggler! Ford whips Roode, Roode reverses and reels For din but Ford lands out of the back suplex to give a back suplex! Kip up and STANDING MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO!

Roode bails out to join Ziggler, Ford has a target! Ford builds speed, tags Dawkins as he FLIES! Direct hit to the Dawgs and Ford gets Roode in for Dawkins! Dawkins gets Roode up, THE ANOINTMENT! Tag to Ford, he climbs, and leaps FROM THE HEAVENS!! Cover, Ziggler breaks it!! Dawkins gets Ziggler up but Ziggler throws him to clothesline Dawkins and himself out! Ford DECKS Ziggler, gets Roode up and fires off fists in a corner! The ref backs Ford off, and Ziggler sneaks a tag in! Ford doesn’t know, he whips but Roode reverses. Ford goes up and over, into a ZIGZAG!!! Cover, the Dawgs win!!

Winners: The Dirty Dawgs, by pinfall

As fired up as Ford was, Ziggler & Roode find a way to survive! Is this the end of takeback season? Will the Dawgs move on to new challengers in the wake of WrestleMania?

 

Backstage interview with Cesaro.

While denying him a match with Roman Reigns, Heyman said some rather derogatory things about Cesaro. His response? “I think Paul Heyman is right.” Cesaro admits he has buck teeth, a slack jaw, and that he isn’t the smartest. And with his long arms, maybe he does look like a Neanderthal. But he’s wrong about one thing: Cesaro DOES belong in the ring with Roman Reigns, and will prove it tonight by beating the Right Hand Man!

 

Heyman talks with Roman in their VIP room.

Roman doesn’t like that Cesaro isn’t just accepting things. Roman wants Jey to teach him a lesson. Will Jey Uso check Cesaro off the list for Roman?

 

Natalya w/ Tamina VS Shayna Baszler w/ Nia Jax!

Though the #BOAT and Daughter of Superfly won the Tag Team Turmoil, they could not win the WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships. Can the Queen of Harts redeem herself with another win over the Queen of Spades?

The bell rings, the two tie up and Natty gets a headlock. Shayna powers out, things speed up and Natty ducks to get a waistlock. Shayna blocks the lift, wrenches free and fires off hands and kicks! Shayna knees but Natty deflects it to get the legs! Natty steps through, but Shayna scramble’s and Nia saves her! Tamina storms over, Shayna gets back in the ring, but Natty is waiting! They tie up, Natty trips Shayna, floats to a facelock, but Shayna slips out to hammerlock. Natty gets up, slips through, wrenches, but Shayna wrenches back. Natty rolls, handsprings and gets a leg. Shayna sprawls to block, then shifts to a waistlock and slam, to the ARMBAR!

Natty endures, clasps hands, but Shayna pulls. Shayna stands to get the arm and hammerlocks it into the mat! This time, Tamina says Natty! Natty hotshots Shayna down, Nia storms over and the ref has to keep her and Tamina from throwing down. Natty gets in but Shayna KNEES Her down! Cover, TWO! Shayna grows frustrated, Natty goes to a corner and she elbows Shayna away. Natty spins, DISCUS CLOTHESLINE! Natty goes for legs but Nia gets on the apron! The ref reprimands but Shayna KICKS Natty down! KIRAFUDA, but Natty throws Shayna at Nia! Shayna stops herself, Natty rolls her up, AND WINS!

Winner: Natalya, by pinfall

Nia goes after Natty but Tamina SUPERKICKS her down!! Tamina and Natty aren’t done with the Irresistible Force or Queen of Spades! Will the second time around be the second generation superstars’ time to shine?

 

Jey Uso speaks.

“Cesaro, Cesaro. Boy, you’s a one hit move, huh? King of spin, king of swing, it’s all the same! That’s a cute airplane you did with no hands. But let me ask you something: can you do that with no teeth?!” You’re disrespecting the Tribal Chief, the Head of the Table! Now you’ve crossed the Right Hand Man, and now Jey has to get you! He’ll show you why he is #MainEventJey! Jey vows to #GETIM, and Roman says, “You heard the man. Now he’s gonna show you.”

 

Cesaro VS Jey Uso w/ Paul Heyman!

The Swiss Cyborg shows no fear in the face of the Reigns-ing, Defending, Undisputed, (hardly) Uncontroverted Universal Champion, but the NEW winner of the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal wants to change that. Will Jey be the one to learn something from the original winner of that match?

The bell rings and Cesaro gets Jey right up with a SLAM! Cesaro headlocks, Jey powers out and things speed up, and Cesaro catches Jey for a BACKBREAKER! Cover, ONE!! Cesaro keeps his focus as Jey goes to the apron. Jey gets to a corner but Cesaro bumps him off buckles. Jey counter punches, SLAMS Cesaro’s hand on the crossbar, then pulls the arm through the bars! Jey then kicks, but Cesaro blocks to hotshot the leg! Cesaro BOOTS Jey down and then goes out to pursue. Cesaro leaps from the apron, into a SUPERKICK! Main Event Jey evens things in the main event as SmackDown goes to break!

SmackDown returns once more and Jey cranks on an armlock. Cesaro throws body shots, whips but Jey reverses, to SAMOAN DROP! Cover, TWO! Jey keeps on Cesaro with a stomp to the shoulder! Jey ROCKS Cesaro with an uppercut, then wraps an arm around the ropes to pull! The ref counts, Jey lets off at 4, and then brings Cesaro around to suplex. Cesaro blocks it, then gets Jey up for a suplex of his own! Fans rally on their screens as Jey crawls his way to a corner. Cesaro snarls, aims at Jey and runs in, only to be put on the apron. Cesaro ROCKS Jey first, climbs up top, and leaps for a BIG CROSSBODY! Cover, TWO!

Cesaro shakes out the arms, drags Jey back up, but Jey wrenches to WRING the arm out! SUPERKICK! Cover, TWO!! Cesaro survives but he is in a daze as he gets to a corner. Jey runs corner to corner, HIP ATTACK! Cover, TWO! Cesaro shakes out the arms again but Jey sees him in a drop zone. Jey climbs up, but Cesaro gets up to DROPKICK Jey down! Jey hangs on to keep from falling to the floor, but Cesaro climbs up to get him. Cesaro gets Jey back to the top, Jey fights with body shots and Cesaro hops down. EuroUpper SHORYUKEN! Cesaro gets Jey up for a SUPER GUT WRENCH SUPLEX! Cover, TWO! Jey survives but Cesaro keeps focus.

Jey crawls, Cesaro brings him around, and reels him in! Jey fights the Gotch to wring the arm but Cesaro cartwheels! Cesaro dodges to springboard EuroUpper! Cover, TWO! Cesaro is a bit surprised, but he gets Jey’s legs! Jey kicks Cesaro away, but Cesaro comes back. Jey blocks a boot but gets a EuroUpper! Jey ducks the clothesline to pop-up NECKBREAKER!! Cover, TWO!! Cesaro survives and Jey is furious! Both men slowly rise but Jey is after Cesaro first. Jey throws down haymakers, then SLAPS Cesaro! And slaps him more! Cesaro SLAPS back! And fires off furious palm strikes then furious EuroUppers!! Shots from all sides! Cesaro runs, and LARIATS! Cover, TWO!

Cesaro is seething, but he calls for the spin! Cesaro gets Jey into a SPINEBUSTER, to then get the wings! SWISS SWING!! Michael Cole & Pat McAfee count, but Cesaro doesn’t get past 5 before SETH ROLLINS attacks!!

Winner: Cesaro, by disqualification

The Architect won’t let it go! He doesn’t want anyone anywhere getting swung by Cesaro! Cesaro still wins the match because of this, but he is staggering about. Rollins shouts, “You were done with me?! You got lucky!! ONE TIME! This isn’t over! Nothing is over until I SAY IT’S OVER!! I am the END ALL BE ALL of this industry! And the sooner you figure it out, the better it’s gonna be!” The Savior of SmackDown has all but snapped, but will he be going for another spin before this is all said and done?


My Thoughts:

Well, this was a pretty good post WrestleMania episode. Then some stuff made it like most typical WWE programming. There are a few things that are clearly being set up for WrestleMania Backlash, and they’re all WrestleMania rematches because that’s literally what that PPV becomes when you name it that in such a lazy manner. I am glad Cesaro is the next one stepping up to Roman Reigns, but they’re clearly doing everything they can to stretch this story so that the match will happen at a PPV bigger than Backlash. Cesaro getting the runaround from Roman’s team was a good way to do it, but I’m not sure about Cesaro VS Rollins 2. It’ll be a great match, but is it really necessary? Of course, WWE did repeat the UFO airplane spin a lot, so them running it into the ground is actually a good sign that Cesaro will win, and is going to be the next challenger to Roman’s title.

Natty getting another fairly quick win over Shayna and Tamina knocking Nia down is surely a sign that we’re getting a rematch between those teams for the tag titles at Backlash. But if that is where Tamina & Natty are going to win the titles, it’s profoundly stupid. They should’ve just let Natty & Tamina win at Mania, and then it’d be about Nia & Shayna getting the belts back at Backlash, a much more logical route. The celebration promo for Bianca was great, and while Sasha wants a rematch, Bayley wants her own match with Bianca, so I’m hoping there’s a difference here in that Backlash gives us another Sasha VS Bayley match, winner faces Bianca at the PPV after that.

Dawgs VS Profits was a great match, especially for television, but I am really surprised the Profits didn’t win tonight. I get that the moment Bianca and the Profits are all wearing gold is going to be big, but then why not do that on the SmackDown After Mania? Make tonight feel big because it should be big! Is WrestleMania Backlash really going to be where they do it? I feel like that’s them forcing Backlash to feel special rather than letting it be special by surprise. Rey VS Otis was good, and clearly this feud isn’t over yet, and the winner of that will surely line up for the tag titles.

Kevin VS Sami tonight was also great stuff, a lot of similar spots to the match they had at Mania, but the count-out seems like another way to extend things. I have a feeling something’s gotta give at Backlash, and I hope Kevin & Sami finally start towards the tag titles. Apollo had a good promo to introduce Dabba-Kato’s new form, Commander Azeez, and the name of his finisher. The Nigerian Nail is pretty much a direct translation of the Samoan Spike, which is what the move was when Umaga used it. Big E VS Azeez has to be coming, perhaps with the stipulation that if Big E wins, he gets his rematch with Apollo at Backlash. Honestly, it all feels like WWE is spinning their wheels because Vince is rolling around in the $1 BILLION from NBC.

My Score: 8.2/10


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