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Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Live Report! (7/3/18)

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While there’s still two weeks left, SmackDown is gaining speed towards Extreme Rules! First, Team Hell No is promised to kick off the show now that they’ve reunited AND been granted a shot at The Bludgeon Brothers’ tag team titles. Then, The Phenomenal AJ Styles will take on MC Artiste as a warm-up before Rusev Day!

 

All images courtesy of the WWE’s official Twitter

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • WWE United States Championship Independence Day Open Challenge: Jeff Hardy VS ???; Hardy wins and retains the WWE United States Championship.
  • Asuka VS James Ellsworth w/ Carmella; Double Count Out.
  • AJ Styles VS Aiden English w/ Rusev; Styles wins.
  • Becky Lynch VS Peyton Royce w/ Billie Kay; Becky wins.
  • The Usos VS Team Hell No; Team Hell No wins, keeping their SmackDown Tag Team Championship match against The Bludgeon Brothers at 2v2.

PLAY BY PLAY

Renee Young welcomes us to SmackDown!

And she welcomes to the ring, Kane & Daniel Bryan, Team Hell No!

The Big Red Machine has indeed returned, and he did so by saving his frenemy from the Bludgeon Brothers, Harper & Rowan. After five years, these two are back together and are set to challenge Harper & Rowan for their SmackDown Tag Team Championships at Extreme Rules! Their reunion and the “Hug Felt Around the World” made headlines. They’ve been successful despite their dysfunction, but that’s the beautiful part. Sometimes they fight, sometimes they hug, but they always deliver and are unstoppable! Kane and Bryan fought blindfolded and arms tied behind backs, and even fought The Shield in a TLC Match. They even graduated from Anger Management with Honors. Kane & Bryan have been through Hell, but they are back and better than ever!

But why did Kane come back? Well, Bryan has a bit of a temper. When he was attacked a couple weeks ago, Kane knew Bryan would get himself in trouble. Whether Bryan realizes it, he always has a demon watching over him. Well maybe not always. Bryan is excited to have Kane back and vows they will become the NEW SmackDown Tag Team Champions! Fans chant “YES! YES!” because they hope so, too. But when Kane said he has always watched over Bryan, that’s not exactly true. The last time they were in the ring together, it was as opponents. But as friends. Were they? Kane tried to end Bryan’s career. Well everyone wants to win. Kane tombstone’d Bryan three different times, outside of a match!

Kane wants to keep things focused on the present, not the past. If they are to win against Harper & Rowan, they need to focus on what unites them. But, Kane tried to kidnap Brie… “Tried”. They’ve had their differences, but Kane has always had Bryan’s back. No he hasn’t. Yes he has. No… Yes… No…! Yes…! NO. YES. NO! YES! Repeat. The Usos appear?!

Jimmy & Jey knew this was gonna happen. The Big Red Machine and #SweetBeats D-Bry, back in the tag team division. The tag team division just got hot! Remember when those two were the hottest team? Hell Yeah. But also argued a lot. Hell Yeah. And then the “YES YES” shirts versus the “NO NO” shirts. Hell Yeah! Is everyone excited for them to be back as a team? Hell Yeah! Do they deserve an opportunity at the titles? Hell NO!! Because The Usos know a lot has changed in five years. They’ve got SmackDown #OnLock, welcome to the Uso Penitentiary! Paige gave these two a shot at Extreme Rules just because they hugged!? The Usos have been hugging since they were two years old. They hug now! As a matter of fact, bring it in three more times. There, that’s four hugs, which is four more title shots!

That’s not what hugs mean. But if the Usos disagree, why don’t they come in and fight Hell No right now? Kane speaks up, because “what Daniel means” this is a team consideration and will get back to them. Kane doesn’t think he’s ready? Or is it that Kane thinks Bryan is the weak link?! Bryan has done so much since Kane was last here! But here comes GM Paige!

She didn’t mean to interrupt, but as GM, the Glampire has the obligation to do what’s right for the WWE Universe. Therefore, Team Hell No will face Harper & Rowan for the titles. But they do need to prove themselves, against the Usos in the main event! By the way, Jimmy & Jey, if you two win, you’ll be added to the match for a Triple Threat Tag! Fans are the ones who love that the most! Will the Penitentiary #LockDown Hell No and another chance at the Bludgeon Brothers? Or will Kane & Bryan say #HellNo to that?

 

Jeff Hardy speaks.

“The bald eagle is a powerful, aerial beast, soaring on thermal convection currents” with eyes able to spot prey up to two miles away. It is also a symbol of America’s ferocity, so as we celebrate this great nation’s independence, Hardy will carry this other symbol with great pride. “I am in search of my next prey.” And in exchange, he offers up the symbol. The challenge is now open! Who will accept!?

 

Asuka speaks.

“Men, women. Sexist pig!” It doesn’t matter who she faces. She makes them all feel pain! James Ellsworth will not be ready for Asuka! Is the Empress of Tomorrow going to kick off Ellsworth’s head before coming after the FABULOUS Princess’ throne?

 

WWE United States Championship Independence Day Open Challenge: Jeff Hardy VS ???

The Charismatic Enigma must still wait for the King of Strong Style to recover. But he will not sit quietly, for he hungers for challengers. And on the eve of Independence Day, the champion faces… The Hollywood A-Lister, The Miz! The Miz was a WWE US Champion in the past, can he bring it back around again?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we begin! Miz and Hardy circle while fans rally up already. They tie up, and Miz knees low. Miz clubs Hardy to a corner, then stomps away. He brings Hardy up, whips and goes for a hip toss, but gets a jawbreaker from Hardy. Hardy kicks low and goes for the Twist, but Miz pushes out. Miz runs in but misses, then hits the mat while Hardy goes up. Miz manages to stop Hardy, then climb up. Hardy resists the superplex to knock Miz down. Hardy readjusts, but Miz rolls away. Miz catches his breath while we go picture in picture.

Hardy waits for Miz to return, because Miz will have to if he wants the belt. Miz slides in but slides out, so Hardy pursues. They go back in and Miz is there to stomp Hardy out. Miz backs off at 4, and Hardy staggers to the ropes. Miz is on him with a sleeper hold, but Hardy fights back. Hardy goes to run but Miz yanks him down by his hair. The ref reprimands Miz, but Miz just stalks Hardy for the low boot. he misses, Hardy rolls up, TWO. Hardy kicks low, but Miz again escapes the Twist. Miz slips back out of the ring to catch his breath again. Hardy waits, but again Miz baits him into cat and mouse. Miz runs, and catches Hardy with knees. Miz throws Hardy back out, then runs to try the wrecking ball. Hardy dodges, then clobbers Miz with a haymaker.

Hardy catches his breath against the announce desk, then climbs up to the apron. He fires the fans up before leaping onto Miz with a lariat! Hardy refreshes the count, then bounces Miz off the announce desk several times! When he’s done, he puts Miz back in the ring. Cover, TWO! Hardy keeps on Miz with a chinlock. Miz endures, stands up and powers out. Miz gets Hardy with the kitchen sink knee, then takes his time catching his breath. We return to single picture as Miz mocks the DELETE. He brings Hardy back up, and goes to bump him off buckles. Hardy turns it around to bump Miz in one corner, then another, then another. Hardy gets all four corners and gives Miz more and more buckle bumps! Miz is down, and fans chant “DELETE! DELETE!” Miz knees Hardy then low boots! Cover, TWO!

Miz keeps on Hardy with a knee and half surfboard. Fans rally for Hardy as he endures the stretch. Hardy powers up to his feet, then fights against the hold. Hardy turns it around on Miz, but Miz turns it back around and brings Hardy to his knees. Fans rally again, and Hardy powers up again. Hardy turns the hold back around once more, but Miz kicks low. Miz swings but Hardy counters and hits back. Hardy gives more haymakers, then a kick, then a whip. Miz reverses, but Hardy hits back with forearms. Hardy atomic drops, and leg-splitting leg drops on top! Dropkick added, cover, TWO! Hardy whips Miz but Miz kicks him away. Miz runs but is dumped outside. Hardy builds speed and hits the baseball slide! Miz hits barriers, but Hardy isn’t done. DELETE leaping attack, but Miz sends him into barriers!

Hardy is down while the count begins. Miz drags Hardy up while we go to break.

SmackDown returns as both Miz and Hardy slowly stand in the ring. Hardy hits Miz with the spinning back kick, but both men are down again. Fans rally for Hardy as he and Miz brawl on their knees. They go back and forth, and brawl as they stand up. Hardy gets the edge, but Miz counters to the full nelson. Hardy throws him off and hits a corner clothesline. Miz sits down, here comes the Hardyac, but Miz kicks it away. Miz runs out, but into the Twist- No, full nelson, but Hardy rolls! TWO, DDT from Miz! Cover, TWO! Miz gets up, runs in, and hits the A-List clothesline. Hardy staggers out while Miz climbs up. Miz leaps, but Hardy gets under. Hardy elbows back, then Whisper in the Wind! Cover, TWO!

Hardy isn’t sure what to do now, but he doesn’t lose hope. He takes off the shirt and calls for the Twist. Miz stands, Hardy kicks low but Miz again denies the Twist. He rolls Hardy, but feet on the ropes! The referee spots it and stops the count! Miz thinks he’s won, but the referee points out he saw Miz was cheating. Miz protests but runs into Twist of Fate! Hardy climbs up, SWANTON BOMB! Cover, Hardy wins!

Winner: Jeff Hardy, by pinfall; still WWE United States Champions

The second open challenge for the champion, and the champion is still the same. Hardy keeps his momentum red hot, will he be able to keep it going all Summer? Or will someone shut him down before the Fall?

 

James Ellsworth speaks.

Men are the superior specimen. Men have stronger muscles, bones are tougher, brains are bigger–especially his. Women aren’t ready for Asuka, but he’s all man. The Battle of the Sexes when he puts Asuka in her place. #MellaisMoney, and #EllsworthisExquisite. Generalizing aside, is this “man” really ready for one of the most dangerous women in WWE today?

 

Byron Saxton is in the ring.

As everyone in America knows, July 4th is Independence Day. But tonight, the New Day has requested time for a special something: The Inaugural 3rd of July Pancake Eating Contest! Therefore, welcome the Patriots of Positivity! Awwwwww~ Omaha! Don’t you dare be sour, clap for your four-time champs, and feel~ the power~!

Big E, Kofi Kingston & Xavier Woods bring out patriotic pancakes that are red, white and blue, then hit the ring. Byron makes the introductions for Kofi Kingston and his long list of accolades, as well as “the Doctor of Defenestration” Xavier Woods and the abridged version of Big E’s intro. Five minutes on the clock, and the rules are as follows: they will each have that time to eat as many pancakes as possible. They must swallow all the pancakes and NOT throw up. Big E has red, Xavier has white and Kofi has blue. “New Day, are you ready!?” YES!! WWE Universe, are you ready!? YES!! Then… GO! The New Day shoves pancakes into their mouths, but then the lights go out! Why? Because SAnitY is here!

And they ambush from behind! Young, Wolfe & Dain toss each member of the New Day around, and then throw Big E and Kofi out. They pick up Woods, and throw him into the legs of the table! Big Damo throws Big E into steps, while Young chokes Woods on the ropes. Damo isn’t done, he tosses Big E over the announce desk! Young holds Woosd to watch Wolfe feed Kofi to Damo’s Divide! And finally, the table is set back up so that they can bring Woods over. Damo bounces Woods’ face off the table, and he and Wolfe hold Woods for Young’s flying elbow drop through the table!!

Anarchy annihilates this inaugural pancake eating party, will SAnitY turn this into the Summer of Chaos?

 

Asuka VS James Ellsworth w/ Carmella!

It’s a Battle of the Sexes for a new generation as the Empress of Tomorrow looks to get payback at the “Exquisite” Ellsworth for the Money in the Bank screw job he helped the FABULOUS Princess pull. Will Ellsworth’s comments earlier tonight be his famous last words?

And to add fuel to the fire, Carmella makes sure to make her own entrance separate from Ellsworth to then trash talk the Empress. She joins commentary while Ellsworth does some last stretches. Ellsworth then rolls up his sleeves and asks for the bell. The bell rings, he pumps up, but Asuka shoves him down! Ellsworth gets out of the ring, but Carmella orders him back in. He obeys, but runs into strikes from Asuka! Ellsworth retreats again, but Carmella angrily orders him to man up. He takes off his shirt, “mans up”, and circles with Asuka. He gets a waistlock, but Asuka elbows out to then throw palm strikes from all sides!

Asuka back kicks, fireman’s carry, and spins around! She dumps a dizzy Ellsworth down, and he’s close to throwing up. Asuka SLAPS him! And then backhands him! Ellsworth escapes again, but Asuka pursues! They run into the crowd! Asuka chases the lankly Ellsworth, but the ring count reaches 10!

Double Count Out

But wait, they come back! And Asuka gets in arms length, only for Carmella to shove Asuka down! The Princess trash talks Asuka, then drags Ellsworth away. Granted, Ellsworth is wearing his wrestling trunks, but it’s clear Carmella still wears the pants in this relationship. Will Asuka get her revenge on them both when Extreme Rules comes around?

 

Kane and Bryan meet backstage.

Bryan has diagrams for tonight’s match? No, there’s no time for that. They need to get on the same page. Kane needs to apologize. For what? Bryan reveals those papers are a timeline of all the times Kane mistreated Bryan! Kane stops Bryan’s list of grievances, and apologizes. For which one? For them all. They’re like brothers. But, Kane set his brother, Undertaker, on fire once. Well, he knows what that means! The Usos are at the top of their game. One mistake, Hell No loses. When they’re united, no one can stop them! It doesn’t matter if it’s been 5 or 50 years, they’ve created a fire no one can extinguish. And then, they will be tag team champions. Now, is Bryan ready for the Usos? “YES! YES!”

 

AJ Styles VS Aiden English w/ Rusev!

The Bulgarian Brute earned his first shot at a world title in the Gauntlet Match a few weeks back, and did his best to be respectful to the Phenomenal WWE Champion. However, MC Artiste wasn’t so respectful, and got a haymaker for it. Now the Drama King looks to show Styles isn’t as phenomenal as advertised. Will English perform a symphony of sorrow for Styles? Or will Styles roll on towards an extreme Rusev Day?

Styles speaks before the match, saying that at Extreme Rules, he will defend against someone bigger and stronger. “But what else is new?” That’s what makes it fun, right? Styles likes proving people wrong. Rusev said he’ll break down the House that AJ STyles Built, and take that belt away. What does he think this is? A rental property? Now, Rusev is a Super Athlete, but he’s not Phenomenal. Before Styles can say more, Rusev & English appear! Rusev doesn’t care how phenomenal Styles is, he hasn’t faced “this Rusev.” This Rusev has his first WWE world title opportunity, and it’s going to be on Rusev Day. Rusev meant what he said about breaking down the door and evicting Styles to move in to the House that Styles Built.

English, what day are they moving in? Rusev Daaaay~! Rusev leaves the ring to English and the bell rings. But one last thing. English ambushes Styles! Never mind then. English stomps Styles, then brings him up for more while we go picture in picture.

The referee backs English off while Styles gets out of the ring. English waits, but only a moment. He goes out to attack Styles, but Styles puts him into barriers. English clubs Styles back, and both men go into the ring. English has Styles in a corner and fires away. He whips Styles corner to corner, and Styles hits buckles hard. English drags Styles up for more haymakers, but Styles chops back! Styles backs English down, throws haymakers, then whips. English reverses but Styles clubs him again. Styles kicks English down, then brings him up for forearms. He waistlocks but English switches. Styles bucks English but English holds on by the waistband to then club Styles in the back again. English hits a swinging neckbreaker, covers, TWO!

English keeps his cool as he drags Styles up. He knees low, then pushes Styles for another kidney shot. He goes again and hits another shot while we go single picture. Fans duel between Styles and Rusev Day, and Styles elbows back. Styles throws hands and kicks, then runs, but into a kick from English. English suplexes Styles up, but Styles gets on the apron. Styles shoulders in, slingshots up and over, but into a full nelson slam! Cover, TWO! Rusev coaches English as English puts Styles in a chinlock. Fans rally up for Styles but they still duel. Styles fights back, bobs and weaves, for the Phenomenal Blitz! English goes down, and Styles adds the sliding forearm! English gets to a corner, but Styles is on him with a corner clothesline to Ushigoroshi!

But Styles won’t cover there, he brings English up for the Clash. English counters, but gets countered back, Calf Crusher! English endures the pain, but he taps! Styles wins!

Winner: AJ Styles, by submission

But Rusev strikes! He drags Styles out to then throw him into the post! MACHKA KICK! English may have failed to win, but the Bulgarian Brute is still softening up Styles for himself. He puts Styles in the ring, for the Accolade! Styles doesn’t tap, but he does fade out. Will this happen again at Extreme Rules to crown a new WWE Champion?

 

The IIconics speak.

Selfie cam! Smile! Or, no, game face. Peyton Royce vows to expose Becky Lynch as a has-been sidekick who deserves to be kicked to the side. The IIconics are beautiful from all angles, but they have a nasty side, too. Peyton will do her best to hurt Becky, and that will be something to smile about.

 

Carmella reprimands Ellsworth.

But then Paige finds them. She likes this vibe, using a man to protect her title. But Ellsworth can’t run away for long, he has a rematch with Asuka. And since he’s “such a ladies man”, he’ll make his wildest dreams come true. Imagine: the ring is surrounded by all the women of SmackDown. Yes, it’ll be a Lumberjack match! Ellsworth claims to be ready for Asuka, but will he be ready for the entire SmackDown Women’s Division?

 

Becky Lynch VS Peyton Royce w/ Billie Kay!

The Lass Kicker already has a win over one-half of the Iconic Duo, but can she get the sweep?

The bell rings and the two circle. Peyton powers Becky to a corner then rams her shoulder in again and again. Becky dodges to hip toss Peyton down. Billie swipes at Becky but Peyton runs in. Becky rolls Peyton, ONE. Becky knees low then whips Peyton to a corner. Peyton puts Becky on the apron but Becky shoulders back. Billie distracts Becky but Becky gets her to back down. Becky climbs up but Peyton intercepts! Fireman’s carry, rolling Death Valley! Cover, TWO! The IIconcis are furious, but Peyton keeps on Becky with knee strikes. Peyton glares down at Becky as she kicks her around. Fans rally for Becky, but Peyton puts her in a standing abdominal stretch. Becky endures, pops out and snapmares Peyton down.

Peyton crawls to ropes an drop toeholds Becky into them. She chokes Becky on the ropes, but backs off at 4. Becky crawls but Peyton is on her with a snapmare and seated abdominal stretch. Becky endures while fans rally up again. She and Peyton stand, Becky rolls, TWO. Becky headbutts low, then again. Peyton dodges the third to shove Becky. Becky narrowly avoids the heel kick, then blocks the next kick into a Becksploder! Fans fire up as Becky kicks. Becky whips but Peyton holds ropes. Peyton kicks, but then runs into a kick from Becky. Becky runs in but gets boots. Peyton hits a knee on the run, then drags Becky up again. Scoop to the fireman’s, but crucifix into Disarm-her! Peyton taps, Becky wins!

Winner: Becky Lynch, by submission

And there’s the #IIconicSweep for the Lass Kicker! Becky is straight fire as of late, can she burn a path straight to the title?

 

Shinsuke Nakamura speaks.

The King of Strong Style wonders why Hardy paints his face. Is he a clown? Is he insane? Or is Hardy just ashamed? Extreme Rules, Nakamura vows to strip away everything, from pride to honor to the United States Championship!

 

The Usos VS Team Hell No!

Two tag teams that have dominated their respective runs in the Tag Team Division are set to collide! Kane & Bryan will still have their shot at Harper & Rowan for the titles, but can they keep the Uso Penitentiary from going extreme?

The bell rings and Bryan starts against Jimmy. The two circle and tie up, and Jimmy gets a headlock. Bryan powers out but Jimmy runs him over. Jimmy runs but Bryan drop toeholds into the leg half of the surfboard. Bryan grabs the arms, and brings Jimmy up all the way! He then drops Jimmy down to tag in Kane. Bryan holds Jimmy for Kane to boot! Kane brings Jimmy up for his uppercut, then stomps a mudhole in the corner. Tag to Bryan, and Kane whips Bryan in for a dropkick. Bryan brings Jimmy up but Jimmy gets him tot he Uso corner. Tag to Jey and Jey forearms Bryan. Jey then runs, but Bryan meets him with a dropkick! Bryan tags Kane, and the Big Red Machine brings Jey up for a scoop slam. Kane drops the elbow, but misses.

Jey tags Jimmy, and Jimmy climbs up. Jimmy leaps, but into Kane’s grip! Jey, too, and Kane pushes both Usos out! The Usos drag Kane out to beat him down, but Bryan comes in. Bryan misses Jey and gets an uppercut from Jimmy. Jey runs, builds speed and DIVES on Kane! Jimmy does the same, to DIVE on Kane! Kane goes down, and the Usos have control while we go to break.

SmackDown returns once more, and Bryan backs Jimmy down with haymakers. Jimmy whips Bryan corner to corner but Bryan goes up and over. Things speed up and Bryan takes Jimmy down with the leaping lariat. Bryan runs in for the corner dropkick, then kicks away. Bryan stops at 4, then hoists Jimmy up top. He climbs up to join Jimmy, and just manages the SUPER Steiner! Bryan fires up again, and gives Jimmy proper YES Kicks! He kicks and kicks, then goes for the buzzsaw, but misses. Jimmy shoves and Bryan ends up on the apron. Bryan fights off Jey, but gets Jimmy’s Dragon Whip kick! Bryan goes down, and Jimmy tags Jey. Jey runs over to Bryan to run him over with a clothesline.

Kane can only watch as Jey stalks Bryan. Jey chops Bryan then puts him in the ring. He drags Bryan up for a scoop slam, then more stomps. Jey tags in Jimmy, and the Usos stomp away on Bryan. Jimmy runs in for the hip attack! Cover, TWO! Jimmy keeps on Bryan with a chinlock. Fans rally for Bryan as Bryan reaches for his corner. Jimmy holds on and even hops on, but Bryan still walks forward. He and Kane reach out for each other, but Jimmy throws Bryan down by his hair. Jimmy tags Jey, and Jey climbs up. Jimmy brings Bryan up, backbreaker to ax handle chop! Jey tags Jimmy back in, and the Usos split the wishbone. Jimmy brings Bryan up, whips him, but Bryan dodges to build speed, double crossbodies take them both out!

Fans rally up as both men crawl for their corners. Hot tags to Jey and Kane! Kane rallies on Jey, whips and boots him down. Kane hits a corner splash, then the sidewalk slam. Cover, but Jimmy breaks it. Kane uppercuts Jimmy away, but Jey dropkicks Kane out. Kane is back on his feet, but Jimmy DIVES! Only for Kane to send him into barriers. Jey tries but runs into a right hand. Kane gets back in the ring, and stalks Jey with choke slam on deck. He grabs Jey by the throat, but Jey fights out. Jimmy tags in, SUPERKICK! Kane only staggers, but the Usos see Bryan. Bryan flies in, but into double SUPERKICKS! The Usos see Kane, SUPERKICKS! Cover, TWO!

Jimmy is surprised, but he and Jey tag again. Jey and Jimmy climb up opposite corners, aiming for Kane. Double UCE– Into double hands! Kane feeds Jimmy to the KNEE PLUS, CHOKE SLAM for Jey! Cover, Team Hell No wins!

Winners: Team Hell No, Kane pinning

YES YES YES, Hell No wins. But Bryan wants Kane to mean it when he celebrates. Kane does it strong, and then they hug it out!

But wait, here come the Bludgeon Brothers. Harper & Rowan, armed with their hammers, take a good hard look at their lone challengers. No more celebrating, because doom is on the horizon. Will Team Hell No be brought into their own tag team apocalypse? Or will they introduce Harper & Rowan to hellfire, brimstone and a lot of heart?

 


 

My Thoughts:

A pretty solid SmackDown, and certainly in comparison to last night’s Raw. The opening segment made a lot of sense, other teams should be upset that Kane & Bryan get a shot at the titles already without really earning it. Granted, the Usos have had their own chances, but that doesn’t mean they couldn’t earn another like Paige put out there tonight. The main event was a great match, and given Kane’s hoss monster style, his ring rust didn’t really show compared to the faster Bryan and Usos. With this win, Team Hell No earns their shot, but that buzzkill appearance by Harper & Rowan definitely assures this match is going to be great on physicality alone.

Hardy and Miz put on a great match, but of course Hardy keeps the title to face Nakamura at Extreme Rules. I think Nakamura’s little bite at the screen was a reference to that dog attacking. It’s rather serendipitous, really, because now their match can happen at the PPV rather than on TV. That pancake eating contest becoming a SAnitY raid was actually brilliant. Now we’ll get the hottest trio in a long time against the hit NXT trio, because why not? Ellsworth VS Asuka did not go how anyone hoped, but that’s okay, we’ll get even bigger and better satisfaction next week in that Lumberjack match. Styles VS English went as expected, but I hoped Rusev was going to stay Face in this feud. Granted, Heel Rusev has always been his strongest persona, but Face VS Face is so rare in WWE I wish they’d give it a try.

Becky VS Peyton was at a very fast pace, but that was for the sake of time. Great to see Becky on this roll, but with her going up against single members of duos, I’m expecting something to happen that calls Charlotte to the rescue, and we get #TeaGenerationX taking on The IIconics and/or Mandy-Sonya for a right at Women’s Tag Team Championships. Essentially, the Women’s Divisions will parallel each other in some way again, and we get one Raw team and one SmackDown team for the inaugural champions. The Four Horsewomen going 2v2 against each other would be pretty cool, but at the same time, Bayley & Sasha have their own feud to worry about first. Maybe it’ll be two members of Riott Squad against Becky-Charlotte instead, which will still be fun.

My Score: 8/10


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AEW Coverage

Mitchell’s AEW Dark Results & Report! (1/19/21)

Dark has CERO! MIEDO!

Published

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AEW Dark 2

The Lucha Brothers come to AEW Dark!

Another hefty helping of AEW Dark has a big tag team match of Chaos Project VS Rey Fenix and Penta El Zero Miedo! Will Luther and Serpentico fail to put fear in Death Triangle’s hearts?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Brandon Cutler VS Luchasaurus w/ Jurassic Express; Luchasaurus wins.
  • Sammy Guevara VS El Australiano; Guevara wins.
  • Scorpio Sky VS Nick Comoroto; Scorpio wins.
  • Shanna VS Marti Daniels; Shanna wins.
  • The Butcher & The Blade w/ The Bunny VS Mike Verna & Baron Black; The Butcher & The Blade win.
  • Six Man Tag: Gunn Club VS Ryzin, Adam Priest & Vary Morales; win(s).
  • Proud ‘n’ Powerful VS Jon Cruz & Danny Limelight; win.
  • Big Swole VS Alex Gracia; wins.
  • Private Party w/ Matt Hardy VS Lee Johnson & Aaron Solow; win(s).
  • Top Flight VS KC Navarro & AJ Kirsh; wins.
  • Ivelisse & Diamante VS Tesha Price & Katalina Perez
  • The Acclaimed VS Shawn Dean & Fuego Del Sol; win(s).
  • Sonny Kiss VS Zack Clayton; wins.
  • Lucha Brothers w/ PAC VS Chaos Project; wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Brandon Cutler VS Luchasaurus w/ Jurassic Express!

The Dungeon Master’s still on a win streak, but will it go extinct against the wrestling dinosaur? Luchasaurus gets a mic and says, “Boys, I’m gonna address the elephant in the room. Er, the wooly mammoth.” Or rather, the dragon? There are no talking dragons in AEW, and why should you believe the talking dinosaur? Because he has a Masters Degree. We all know it’s just Brandon Cutler, so let’s have the match already. Cutler makes his entrance, and he stands face to face with Luchasaurus. Cutler of course takes the dragon mask, and the match begins!

Cutler sneaks up on Luchasaurus as he talks to the boys and rolls him up! TWO and Cutler hurries to the apron. Cutler slides under, avoids a stomp and then kicks Luchasaurus away! Cutler hurries up to slingshot and kick! Luchasaurus just gets mad! Cutler blocks the chop, gives a CHOP, but Luchasaurus doesn’t flinch! Cutler CHOPS, goes up and up but the arm-drag is blocked! Luchasaurus throws Cutler up top, Cutler boots him away but Luchasaurus BOOTS him down! The ref reprimands Luchasaurus but he just growls.

Luchasaurus goes out to fetch Cutler, and CHOPS him against the railing! And CHOPS him again! Luchasaurus brings Cutler around to CHOP him down! Luchasaurus refreshes the count and Marko Stunt hopes Cutler doesn’t take this personally. Cutler crawls but Luchasaurus reels him into a wheelbarrow, to swing him into railing! Luchasaurus continues to stalk Cutler, drags him back up, but Cutler CHOPS! Luchasaurus doesn’t flinch, and he boots Cutler into more railing, then BOOTS him over the railing! Cutler flounders up and Luchasaurus TOSSES him back to the ring! The ref counts but Luchasaurus puts Cutler in at 3.

Luchasaurus gets on the apron, Cutler ROUNDHOUSES! Luchasaurus stays up, grabs at Cutler, but Cutler hotshots him down! Cutler builds speed and DIVES! Direct hit and they hit railing! Luchasaurus gets into the ring but Cutler slingshots for the senton! Cutler keeps moving, LONG DISTANCE LEG DROP! Cover, TWO!! Luchasaurus growls, Cutler fires off hands but Luchasaurus just gets angrier. Luchasaurus blocks, KNEES, boots and HEADBUTTS! Cutler staggers up, Luchasaurus puts him in a corner for fast hands! The uppercut sends Cutler to the apron! Luchasaurus TOSSES Cutler back in! And then CLOBBERS him!

Fans fire up as Luchasaurus choke grips Cutler, but Cutler slips out of the choke slam! Cutler dumps Luchasaurus out, slingshots and PLANCHAS both men are down! Cutler puts Luchasaurus in, aims from an apron, springboard for the FROGGY BOW! Luchasaurus sits up before Cutler could cover! Cutler runs to BASEMENT METEORA! Cutler springboards again, FROGGY BOW! Cover, TWO!! Luchasaurus still lives and Cutler can’t believe it! Fans rally up, Cutler heads to a corner and climbs, but Luchasaurus has him first with a choke grip!

Cutler clubs him away, leaps over but Luchasaurus ducks under to TAIL WHIP! AND CHOKE SLAM! Cutler ends up folded on his head!! Cover, TWO!?! Cutler lives and Luchasaurus can’t believe it! Luchasaurus aims as Cutler gets up, then spins, for the BUZZSAW! Cover, Luchasaurus wins!

Winner: Luchasaurus, by pinfall

The win streak is extinct, but Jungle Boy and Stunt jokingly resuscitate Cutler. Will Jurassic Express get back on track in the AEW Tag Division? Can Cutler recover to start a new win streak?

 

Sammy Guevara VS El Australiano!

The Best Ever, the Spanish God, and one half of the Inner Circle’s primary tag team? Well, Sammy will team with Jake Hager for Dynamite to take on the other teams formed within the faction, but will The Australian ruin his tune-up?

The bell rings and fans rally as Sammy and Australiano circle. They tie up, Sammy waistlocks and slams Australiano to then spin and float and pose. Sammy backs off to lounge on the ropes, then circles with Australiano again. They approach but Australiano has Sammy stop. Australiano wants to see Sammy’s moves, then starts dancing around. Sammy swings on Australiano, Australiano ducks and uppercuts! Sammy keeps coming with fast hands, Australiano blocks and blocks and HELL STAB uppercuts! Australiano dances, blocks Sammy’s kick and ducks the enziguri to hit the corkscrew senton!

Australiano jumps the sweep, handsprings and goes around and around to headscissor Sammy to a corner! Australiano does his dance, goes after Sammy in the corner, but Sammy turns it around to CHOP! Australiano returns the CHOP, then whips corner to corner. Sammy reverses, Australiano goes up and over and Sammy hits buckles! Corner 619! Australiano heads up top, TORNILLO BODY ATTACK! A direct hit but a rough one for both men! Sammy rolls out of the ring and walks it off, but Australiano gets to a corner and up top again, for another TORNILLO! Another rough landing but Australiano gets up! Fans rally as Australiano and Sammy stand.

Australiano puts Sammy in and goes to the corner, DRAGON RANA! Cover, TWO!! Sammy bails out and Australiano is beside himself! Australiano hurries as Sammy slowly stands, and he goes to the apron for a Penalty Kick. Sammy ducks it, Australiano SHOOTING STARS, into a SUPERKICK! Sammy takes Australiano out of the air and brings him up to whip into railing! Sammy swaggers, drags Australiano up and snap suplexes! Sammy puts Australiano in the ring, back suplex to a DDT!! Cover, TWO!?! Australiano survives and Sammy is surprised. Sammy drags Australiano to a drop zone, climbs up top, and fans rally up as Sammy SHOOTING STAR FLOPS!

Australiano drags Sammy to the drop zone, climbs back up top, and SIDEWAYS MOONSAULTS! Direct hit but Australiano bounces off the cover! Australiano crawls back and covers, ROPEBREAK! Sammy saves himself and Australiano can’t believe it! Fans rally up, Australiano drags Sammy up to a fireman’s carry but Sammy elbows free. Sammy shoves Australiano to the corner, Australiano hops up and trust falls back, but Sammy catches him into the torture rack! GO TO HOSPITAL!! Cover, Sammy wins!

Winner: Sammy Guevara, by pinfall

Sammy applauds Australiano’s efforts, but obviously Australiano’s best wasn’t better than the Best Ever! Sammy gets the mic to say, “I’m gonna make this quick. I know Taz has after parties to get to.” So Sammy makes sure we zoom in on the shoulder. Do you see that? No, you probably can’t. But he feels it. He feels when the weight gets heavier every single day, week, month. It’s a chip on his shoulder! There will be gold on these shoulders one day. Not only is Sammy carrying Dark, but he’s carrying Dynamite and every PPV he’s on because he’s the best worker in AEW!

Oh, is he just Jericho’s sidekick? That’s the only reason he’s here? We all know Jericho brought Sammy here, but here’s a secret: “I wasn’t some friendly favor of Chris Jericho.” Jericho is a father figure, a mentor, and the scout who saw Sammy busting his ass, and Jericho was the one saying AEW needs Sammy! Clap for the GOAT! But Sammy sets the record straight: he’s here because of work, and that work will get him every single championship AEW has! Whoever it is, update the rankings, because whether it’s Darby Allin or Kenny Omega, Sammy’s coming for everyone. Will Sammy’s pursuit of gold begin when he and Hager become THE tag team in the Inner Circle?

 

Scorpio Sky VS Nick Comoroto!

While The Addiction of SoCal Uncensored are on a tag team quest that’s titles or bust, the Closer wants to climb up the ranks in his own right! Will he be able to #ReachForTheSky against the Freak Beast Wrecking Ball?

The bell rings and Scorpio circles with Comoroto. Scorpio headlocks but Comoroto shoves him right off. They circle again, Scorpio gets around then gets the headlock, but Comoroto blocks the takeover! Comoroto shoves, Scorpio rams him with a shoulder but bounces off! Comoroto and Scorpio circle, test of strength, but Scorpio dropkicks him to a corner! Scorpio fires off with forearms and uppercuts, but Comoroto tosses Scorpio into the corner! Scorpio gets away, throws a forearm and runs, Scorpio dodges the clothesline but Comoroto blocks the drop toehold! Scorpio goes to a corner, boots Comoroto away and goes up the corner, FLYING RANA! Cover, ONE!!

Scorpio drops elbows on Comoroto and whips but Comoroto blocks! Comoroto whips, Scorpio holds ropes and elbows back. Scorpio goes to the apron, Comoroto grabs a leg but Scorpio clubs away on his back. Comoroto dodges the next forearm to hotshot Scorpio’s back! Comoroto drags Scorpio back into the ring, and stomps away on the back! Fans boo as Comoroto scowls and paces. Comoroto drags Scorpio up into the corner to throw forearms on the back, then RAM his shoulder in! Comoroto whips corner to corner hard and Scorpio falls to the mat! Fans rally, Comoroto stomps Scorpio then digs his knee into Scorpio’s back.

Comoroto drags Scorpio to a corner and bends him back against the post! The ref counts, Comoroto stops at 4, then stalks Scorpio to a corner. Scorpio throws haymakers and elbows, then goes up to leap, into Comoroto’s arms! BACKBREAKER! Cover, TWO!! Scorpio survives but Comoroto digs his forearm into Scorpio’s face. Comoroto drags Scorpio up, scoops him and hits another BACKBREAKER! Comoroto makes it a backbreaker bend but lets off to loom over Scorpio. Comoroto straddle attacks Scorpio, then looms over him as he slowly gets up. Comoroto jumps again, Scorpio turns over, but Comoroto anticipates the knees! Comoroto grabs the legs, turns Scorpio over and has a HALF CRAB!

Scorpio endures, fans rally up, and Scorpio fights up towards the ropes for the ropebreak! Comoroto lets go quickly but he drags Scorpio from ropes. Scorpio kicks Comoroto away, Comoroto comes back but Scorpio dumps him out! Comoroto hurries back in but Scorpio clotheslines Comoroto and himself out! Scorpio hurries back in as Comoroto gets up, and Scorpio PLANCHAS to take Comoroto back down! Fans fire up as Scorpio gets up and hobbles. Scorpio puts Comoroto back in, climbs up top, and leaps for the missile dropkick! Scorpio fires up and he back kicks to then run and DUMDUM STOMP!

Comoroto staggers up, Scorpio fireman’s carries but the back gives up! Comoroto fireman’s carries Scorpio for an USHIGOROSHI! Cover, TWO!! Comoroto is furious and he rains down rights! Comoroto roars, drags Scorpio back up and scoops him, but Scorpio slips off to BOOT! Comoroto just roars, so Scorpio BOOTS him again! Scorpio manages the fireman’s carry for the T K O! Cover, Scorpio wins!

Winner: Scorpio Sky, by pinfall

That was definitely a big challenge, but Scorpio overcame it! Will he rise up in the rankings to go after gold in the near future?

 

Shanna VS Marti Daniels!

So far, Portugal’s Perfect Athlete’s return has been perfect! She’s on a young win streak, but will that change against one of AEW’s newest additions?

The bell rings and the two tie up. Shanna pushes Marti but Marti pushes Shanna away. Shanna ducks the boot, dropkicks a leg out and then runs to blindside elbow! Roll into the ghost pin, TWO! Shanna clubs away on Marti, then snapmares her to a running elbow drop! And then a leg drop! Cover, TWO! Shanna keeps cool and brings Marti up with chicken wings, but Marti breaks free to pull Shanna’s hair. The ref reprimands, Marti whips Shanna and BOOTS her down! Marti stomps Shanna, soaks up the heat from the fans, then drags Shanna up to whip again. Marti elbows Shanna down hard and taunts the booing fans.

Fans rally for Shanna as Marti brings her up and tosses her by her hair! Marti stomps Shanna around, Shanna gets to the ropes and Marti drags her up. Marti talks trash but Shanna fires back with elbows and forearms! Shanna kicks, Marti blocks but Shanna enziguris! Marti ends up in a corner, fans fire up and Shanna runs in to elbow! Shanna keeps going, forearm smash! Shanna runs for a SUPER FOREARM! Marti rushes in, but Shanna slips around for a STUNNER! Shanna powers up, runs and hits a basement dropkick at the ropes! She drags Marti up with chicken wings, for the TIGER SUPLEX!

The bridging cover falls apart so Shanna drags Marti up again, for ANOTHER TIGER SUPLEX! Bridging cover, Shanna wins!

Winner: Shanna, by pinfall

Shanna continues to build her power level in the AEW Women’s Division! But will she be able to go Super Shanna and become a contender to the championship?

 

The Butcher & The Blade w/ The Bunny VS Mike Verna & Baron Black!

Eddie Kingston’s family still has a lot of beef with the Lucha Brothers but they’ll hash that out soon enough. Will the Real Man of Steel and EmpBruh be ground beef after tonight?

The teams sort out, Blade starts with Verna and they tie up. They go around, Blade puts Verna in a corner but they go around on the ropes. Verna puts Blade in the corner, Blade turns it around and the ref counts. Blade and Verna let off at 4, and then stare down before tying up again. Blade headlocks, wrenches, hammerlocks, and slaps Verna around, to the delight of Bunny Allie. Verna elbows out, runs and runs Blade over! Verna runs, Blade drops then hurdles but Verna leaps over to go up and huricanrana! Verna is on Blade at the ropes, CHOPS him, then CHOPS him again! Verna CHOPS Blade again, whips him to ropes, but Blade reverses.

Verna ducks and dodges to leap, into a POWERBOMB! Baron tags in and stares Blade down. Blade tags Butcher and Butcher circles with Baron. They approach, Baron slips around, headlocks, but Butcher powers out. Butcher blocks a whip and reverses it, but Baron hurdles over to waistlock. Butcher bucks the roll-up, Baron gets around to uppercut and CHOP and spinning CHOP! Butcher reels Baron in for a BACKBREAKER! Butcher snap suplexes Baron away from the corner, tags in Blade, and Blade chokes Baron on the ropes! The ref counts but Blade lets off at 4. Bunny Allie talks trash and chokes Baron herself!

Blade throws hands on Baron in the corner, digs his knees in, but stops as the ref counts. Tag to Butcher, Butcher CHOPS Baron, CHOPS him again, and bumps Baron off buckles. Butcher stomps Baron, brings Baron up to dig into the ropes, then whips him into the corner. Tag to Blade, they mug Baron, double wrench and double CHOP him down! Blade drags Baron up, fans rally as Blade whips, but Baron rolls up off the kitchen sink, TWO! HALF CRAB! Butcher gets in but the ref stops him, Bunny CLAWS Baron’s face! Blade ROCKS Baron in the corner, bumps him off buckles and tags in Butcher. Butcher throws hands on Baron, stomps him, then ROCKS him with a right of his own!

Butcher hauls Baron up, tags in Blade, and then atomic drop to Blade’s NECKBREAKER! Blade kicks Baron around, kicks him out of the ring, and argues with the ref. Bunny rains down fists on Baron, then gets away with her obnoxious laugh. Butcher puts Baron in for Blade and Blade drags Baron up. Tag to Butcher, they double suplex but Baron fights out! Baron elbows Blade, BOOTS Butcher, then ducks the double clothesline to tag in Verna! Verna rallies with forearms and CHOPS! Verna kicks Butcher but he blocks, only to enziguri! SPINNING POWERSLAM for Blade! Verna says hey yo to Bunny then runs in to forearm Butcher at the corner!

Verna climbs up, leaps and missile dropkicks Butcher away! Verna kicks Blade, DECKS Butcher, then fireman’s carries Blade! Bunny distracts, Blade rakes Verna’s eyes and shoves him to a corner. Butcher clotheslines, Blade CHOPS, then a feed to the BODY CHECK! Baron gets in but he gets the back suplex choke slam combo! Blade and Butcher drag Verna up, suplex to POWERBOMB NECKBREAKER! Cover, Butcher and Blade win!

Winners: The Butcher & The Blade, by pinfall

Verna was on the chopping block and got cut down! Will the Mad King’s knights conquer the AEW Tag Division soon enough?

 

Six Man Tag: Gunn Club VS Ryzin, Adam Priest & Vary Morales!

AEW keeps setting them up, Billy and his boys, Austin and Colten, keep knocking ’em down! Will that streak continue the deeper we go into the new year?

 

 

Proud ‘n’ Powerful VS Jon Cruz & Danny Limelight!

Much like Sammy Guevara earlier tonight, Santana and Ortiz want to be THE tag team within the Inner Circle! Will they finally get to do what they came to AEW to do? Or will this tune-up turn into a speed bump to that journey?

 


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Coverage

NOAH WEEKLY NEWSLETTER VOL.118 ~ 18TH JANUARY 2021

The GHC National competitors continue to heat up right before their clash on the 23rd! The NOAH Juniors also stay…well the Juniors. Hisame explains if you don’t know!

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The GHC National competitors continue to heat up right before their clash on the 23rd! The NOAH Juniors also stay…well the Juniors. Hisame explains if you don’t know!

NEWS

Kenoh vs Kazunari Murakami

Kenoh and Kazunari Murakami had their one and only pre-match on the 16th January at Yokohama Radiant Halls. Murakami was repeatedly told off during the match for punching (mainly Kenoh) with a closed fist. However, it was Tadasuke who he choked out, and the referee stopped the match.

Image

Afterwards, rather than scream and swear (like he would if it were Kaito Kiyomiya, Takashi Sugiura, Naomichi Marufuji or really anyone who Kenoh hates), Kenoh studied Murakami almost as if he was trying to work him out. Backstage Kenoh said in a promo which didn’t involve angry swearing, that although he hated Murakami “from the bottom” of his heart, he would play him at his own game. Was it okay to punch with a closed fist while wearing open fingered gloves? “Was that wrestling?” Kenoh has sworn he will show him “the true Kenoh”. Title match will take place on the 23rd January at the Osaka Edion Arena.

STINGER retain against Kongoh; challenged by mortal enemies

Although Nioh’s hubris led him to say that if he had two victories over HAYATA in a row, a third would follow, he and Haoh were unsuccessful in capturing the tag team titles and swinging the balance of power in the volatile NOAH juniors to their favor, when HAYATA pinned Haoh to retain the titles. Although it was never said by Yoshinari Ogawa, fans got the impression that HAYATA was walking a very thin line.

After the match, STINGER were celebrating their victory, when they were jumped by Kotaro Suzuki, NOSAWA Rongai and Ikuto Hidaka, who threw HAYATA from the ring, kept Susumu (who had been at ringside) out, and stamped down on Yoshiari Ogawa, before Kotaro challenged for the titles saying, “The next is Hidaka and I. You can’t refuse. The place is the Nippon Budokan”. The pair of them threw the tag belts down that NOSAWA had draped over them, as HAYATA crawled back into the ring. For the second time, it was up to quiet shy HAYATA (who managed to keep his back to any cameras) to accept the challenge. Laconic as ever, HAYATA simply said “Next…you”.

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Match has been set for the 12th February at The Nippon Budokan. The pre-matches, however, start on the 23rd January.

You can watch the title match for free here (NOAH streamed it through Periscope)

(This made my Match of The Year 2021 list)

EVENT RECAPS & POST MATCH PROMOS

ELSEWHERE IN NOAH

~ Shuhei Taniguchi tried “Disco Dancing”, except it looked more like some crazy jig.

~ Seiki Yoshioka is slowly discovering why HAYATA gave up speaking, by first of all reacting to YO-HEY verbally and wondering what he was talking about, and then reacting with “…?” after YO-HEY had babbled something about peanut butter.

~ Go Shiozaki and Naomichi Marufuji had a chop challenge. On Atsushi Kotoge’s chest.

~ Yoshiki Inamura has declared that the Musou will be hunting Jun Akiyama at The Nippon Budokan.

~ NOAH are teasing a GHC Heavyweight tag title match by The Aggression. Nakajima has started talking about “natural” it feels, with Masa Kitamiya saying how much The Sugiura Army (especially Sugiura) irritate him.

~ Manabu Soya carried Tadasuke of the ring after being choked by Kazunari Murakami, as if he was going to Avalanche slam him.

~ NOSAWA Rongai told Kotaro Suzuki and Ikuto Hidaka that they had bad fashion sense, Hidaka’s clothes were as bad as his promo skills, and that he felt sorry for the champions on that account.

~ Although the steel plate in his jaw was difficult to remove, Kaito Kiyomiya has made a good recovery and returned to the NOAH dojo. Naturally, he has not shown any pictures of his face.

~ The last time Go Shiozaki took a headbutt from Atsushi Kotoge, his head was split open and his teeth knocked out.

CURRENT CHAMPIONS

THIS WEEK IN NOAH

Thursday 21st January: Go Shiozaki (39)

Saturday 23rd January: NOAH “Higher Ground 2021” (Osaka Edion Arena 2nd Stadium)

BROADCASTS

 NOAH’s Yokohama Radiant Halls event will be broadcast on WRESTLEUNIVERSE on the 19th January. The event on the 23rd January in Osaka will be broadcast on WRESTLEUNIVERSE on the 26th January. You must be a subscriber to view these events.

LINKS

Why did Yuki Sato, Dick Togo’s apprentice, become “Haoh” in Noah?

The key point is “craziness” in the battle with Murakami to the “dream” of The National GHC defense at The Budokan

Pictures taken from Noah GHC

 


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