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Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Live Report! (7/31/18)

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Tonight’s SmackDown promises to be BIG with Lana VS Zelina Vega for the first time ever, and The Usos VS The Bar in the tag title contenders tournament!

 

All images courtesy of the WWE’s official Twitter

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • SmackDown Tag Team Championship #1 Contenders Tournament: The Usos VS The Bar; The Bar wins and advances to the finals.
  • Zelina Vega w/ Andrade “Cien” Almas VS Lana; Zelina wins.
  • Carmella VS Charlotte Flair; Charlotte wins and joins the SmackDown Women’s Championship match at Summerslam.

PLAY BY PLAY

Renee Young introduces Becky Lynch!

The Lass Kicker is the new #1 Contender to the SmackDown Women’s Champion after pinning the champ herself last week. Now the inaugural champion has a chance to become champion once again at Summerslam! Renee interviews Becky about finally being back in the title scene. “When you wait so long for something, sometimes you doubt that it’s ever gonna happen.” Becky had those doubts, but knew that if she kept going, she’d get back. She has some disheartening facts, though: she hasn’t been champion since September 2016, and hasn’t had a match for the title since Wrestlemania 33. Becky kept thinking what it means to be SmackDown Women’s Champion, and it is the honor and excitement and pressure of having a target on your back. Becky wasn’t born to be champoin, she earned becoming a champion.

Come Summerslam, it will be Becky’s honor to win, and then go to WWE Evolution as THE SmackDown Women’s Champion! But speaking of, here comes the current champion, Carmella! She wants everyone to stay calm, this isn’t what they think. Normally Carmella makes excuses, like how James Ellsworth getting fired distracted her. But that’s not the case this time. Carmella admits Becky won fair and square to earn her chance. In fact, Carmella was so focused that she only just got to think about WWE Evolution. Carmella was thinking how to win, and then she was hit by a tidal wave: they’ll be part of the All Women’s PPV. They’ll represent every woman who has ever been in the WWE. That made Carmella’s skin crawl, because she’s failed as a representative. They need to build each other up. She was just jealous, because Becky’s always been a step ahead.

From NXT where they said Carmella was only ever going to be a valet, but Becky encouraged her to keep going. Then Becky was SmackDown’s #1 female draft pick! And Carmella was The last pick. Carmella was the afterthought. The fans have always loved Becky. Fans cheer Becky even now. But the WWE Universe doesn’t think Carmella is deserving. Carmella is close to crying, because she tries so hard to tune it all out. Fans still chant “You Suck!” at her even now. There’re legends who even think she should just go away! Carmella is exhausted from it all.

But she puts on a brave face and tells herself she’s as deserving as anyone. Becky is deserving. Carmella having this match with someone she’s looked up to, she can’t be more excited. She is ready to kill it and prove everyone wrong with Becky. So Carmella simply wishes Becky good luck. She offers her hand, but out comes James Ellsworth!? Not! Carmella attacks in the distraction with a blindside attack and a FABULOUS Kick! Carmella even fetches a chair! She drags Becky over, but here comes Charlotte! The Queen of Flair returns to save her friend! She boots the chair away, then throws Carmella with an exploder! The Princess is down while the Queen helps Becky up. Charlotte shouts at Carmella as she retreats. No more crocodile tears or underhanded tricks, will Carmella survive the Straight Fire?

 

The Usos speak.

Jimmy & Jey has everything from top to bottom coming through them. Usos, Bar, the thumbs. They have an idea: shine up the thumbs, turn them sideways again, and stick them straight up yo’ candy– Whoa, hold on, PG13. They were just trying to get their ROck on. Well time to get their Uso on, because the Uso Penitentiary is open, and next!

 

Carmella complains to Paige.

Did the GM not see what Charlotte did to her?! Carmella has beaten Charlotte twice, and yet she has no respect for Carmella! But Paige tells her how Carmella actually fooled her into thinking she was respectful. Carmella should be ashamed. Sorry for not being a role model like Paige. But there is one thing Carmella is that Paige won’t ever be again: champion! This title isn’t going anywhere. Fine, let’s go there. Paige will teach Carmella what it’s like to be a real champ. The odds are always stacked against a champ, but a champ finds a way to overcome them. Carmella will face Charlotte tonight, and if Charlotte wins, the title match becomes a TRIPLE THREAT! Now go get ready, and “good luck”. Will Carmella have anything but that tonight?

 

SmackDown Tag Team Championship #1 Contenders Tournament: The Usos VS The Bar!

Both teams are former tag team champions, but must go through this tournament for a shot at the Bludgeon Brothers. Who will advance to face the awaiting New Day in the final round?

Awwwww Tampa! Don’t you dare be sour, because the New Day joins commentary, and feel~, the power~! Big E, Kofi Kingston & Xavier Woods want to be front row to see who their competition will be. In fact, they have their own announce desk, stacked with pancakes!

The bell rings and Sheamus starts against Jey. Jey gets a waistlock but Sheamus fights out with elbows. Sheamus gives European Uppercuts then whips Jey corner to corner. Jey stops himself then gives Uso uppercuts. Jey runs and dropkicks Sheamus out. Cesaro keeps Sheamus from rushing back into the ring while we go picture in picture.

The Usos wait while Cesaro calms Sheamus down. The New Day seem to be taunting The Bar from commentary. Sheamus tags Cesaro and Cesaro circles with Jey. They tie up, and Cesaro gets a headlock. Cesaro grinds Jey’s head, but Jey powers out. Things speed up, and Jey runs Cesaro over with a back elbow. Jey powers Cesaro to the corner and Jimmy tags in. Jimmy taunts Sheamus before giving Cesaro a forearm smash. Jimmy brings Cesaro up into an armlock, then a shoulder breaker. Tag to Jey, who flies in for double ax handles. Jey wrenches but Cesaro pulls hair. Cesaro has Jey on the ropes, but Sheamus gets a cheap shot in. Cesaro tags Sheamus, and Sheamus drops a knee on Jey. Sheamus drags Jey up into the Bar’s corner for body shots and EuroUppers.

Tag to Cesaro for Super Saiyan Kicks! Cover, TWO, so it’s back to the chinlock. Fans rally and Jey gets up. He reaches but Cesaro brings him over. Tag to Sheamus and The Bar stomps away on Jey. Sheamus drags Jey up for beats of the Bodhrain. He then shoves Jey down, and tags Cesaro. Cesaro fetches Jey and puts him back in. Cesaro climbs up and hits ax handles as we return to single picture. Cover, TWO!

Cesaro puts the chinlock back on. Fans rally up for the Usos, New Day admit either team would be a great opponent next week. Jey fights out but Cesaro keeps him from Jimmy. Jey throws hands, but Cesaro won’t let go. Cesaro tags Sheamus and Sheamus kicks Jey down. The Bar whip for the Bar lariat, then cover. TWO, but Sheamus drops another knee. He drops another knee, then wraps Jey up in a keylock. The New Day like the look of that move. Fans rally up for Usos, and Jey fights his way up. Sheamus rams in knees to keep him down. Jey gets up again, but Sheamus throws him down by his hair. Sheamus puts more weight on Jey. The fans rally up, “Uce! O!”

Jey fights up with haymakers and uppercuts! Sheamus knees low then brings Jey up. Jey slips out, dodges from the corner and Sheamus hits post! Fans rally again, hot tags to Jimmy and Cesaro! Jimmy rallies, mule kick to uppercut. Jimmy dodges Cesaro for the Samoan Drop! Cover, TWO! Cesaro blocks a kick but gets a dragon whip enziguri! Jimmy fires the fans up, then runs corner to corner, but Cearo bails out. Jimmy changes plans and FLIES! Sheamus saves Csesaro, but Cesaro still gets a SUPERKICK! Jimmy climbs up while Cesaro enters the ring, crossbody! Cover, TWO! Jimmy is surprised, but he keeps on Cesaro. He drags Cesaro up but Cesaro shoves him away. Jimmy uppercuts Cesaro, then climbs up, but Cesaro shoves him down! Jimmy hits barriers while we go to break.

SmackDown returns and The Bar climb up to the top rope. Jey saves Jimmy by dragging Sheamus down. Jimmy fights Cesaro off with headbutts, then adjusts for a corkscrew senton! Both men are down while the New Day are having so much fun watching. Fans rally up as Cesaro and Jimmy brawl with uppercuts. Jimmy chops, but his kick is blocked. Cesaro rocks him with a EuroUppercut, and Sheamus tags in. Sheamus picks Jimmy up in White Noise position, and Cesaro springboards, but Jey SUPERKICKS him down! Sheamus shoves Jey out but Jimmy rolls him up. TWO, SUPERKICK! Tag to Jey, Uso Splash! Cover, but Cesaro breaks it just in time! That was so close, the New Day are shocked for everyone.

All four men are down, but Jey and Cesaro get up. Cesaro runs at Jey but gets hip tossed out! Jey tags Jimmy, and they each take a corner. They both aim at Sheamus, but Cesaro UPPERCUTS Jey! Jimmy gets knees! Cover, THE BAR WINS!!

Winners: The Bar, by pinfall; advance to the tournament finals

What a way to return to the ring! The Swiss Cyborg & Celtic Gladiator survive the Uso Penitentiary! Now they will face The New Day next round for THE #1 contender spot. The Bar dare The New Day to meet them in the ring now, and the New Day obliges. All five men stand in the ring and trash talk, but the Bar decides to wait a week. Will Cesaro & Sheamus set the bar against the longest reigning tag team champions in WWE history?

 

Backstage interview with Charlotte Flair.

How does it feel to have a chance back into the title scene? This wild night gets wilder. Charlotte was just covering Becky’s back, but Carmella’s mouth gives Charlotte this chance. Charlotte didn’t even think she’d be going to Summerslam this year. Carmella rubs it in that she’s “won” twice. Charlotte vows that she’s going to take back the throne, WOO~!

 

Samoa Joe heads to the ring.

The Destroyer faces the Phenomenal One at Summerslam for the WWE Championship. He made it official when he signed the contract after ambushing AJ Styles in the ring. Granted, Paige still had him planned as the #1 contender, but he wanted to prove just how dangerous he can be. Joe takes a seat and a mic to call out Styles. What Joe did last week was just a message, and Styles is more than familiar with Joe’s way of communicating. No hard feelings, because truth be told, Joe respects Styles. Truth be told, Joe respects this House AJ Styles Built, and that Styles made the WWE Championship THE championship in WWE. Joe respects the grind and sacrifice Styles has made. Styles puts everything behind being champion. He put it in front of even being with his family.

Joe finds that funny, because of how Styles talked about looking his daughter in his eyes and encouraging her to be anything she wants to be. But Joe has known Styles a long, long time. The fact is, Styles is barely home long enough to hug his daughter, let alone look her in the eyes. The truth is, Styles feels much more comfortable on the road than being a husband to his wife. Joe understands the sacrifices. Styles put being champion in front of everything, even if it means failing as a father. Joe knows it hurts, but he’ll make Styles’ sacrifice worth it when Joe takes it all away! The fans will be chanting for Styles, but his family will be cheering for Joe. Because after Joe tears this house down and puts Styles to sleep, the family will have daddy back, but Joe will be champion.

 

Jeff Hardy heads to the ring!

The Charismatic Enigma has become the target of the returning Viper, from the low blow stomp at Extreme Rules to the gruesome ear gauge attack. “The US Championship is more than a title to me.” It’s part of Hardy’s life force, his fifth eye that revitalizes him and heightens his sense of purpose. It also strengthens his bond with the WWE Universe. When Shinsuke Nakamura took it, a part of Hardy went with it. Hardy wants to beat Nakamura and take it back. However, there’s something almost as important: beating the hell out of Orton! Hardy calls out The Viper, because it’s time to fight! And Orton appears!

The Apex Predator steadily makes his way to the ring and Hardy is ready to DELETE! But Nakamura gets him from behind! Nakamura throws knee after knee into Hardy while Orton stalks around them. Nakamura takes aim, Hardy stands, KIN- No, Orton stops Nakamura in his tracks. The Viper stares the King of Strong Style down, and fans chant “RKO! RKO!” But then Orton gives Nakamura permission? KINSHASA! Then Orton gets in Nakamura’s face again. This rivalry is indirectly renewed but Hardy is the one taking the hits. And speaking of Hardy, Orton locks eyes on him now. Orton hypes up the fans and prepares to strike. Hardy slowly stands up, but Orton instead trips him. Orton trolls the fans more than anything as he instead stomps every bit of Hardy into the mat.

Hardy is gasping and groaning but Orton drags him up from the apron. Orton pulls him through the ropes, for the draping DDT! The referees try to get Orton to stop, but he doesn’t. He drags Hardy out on the apron, and gives a draping DDT to the floor! Orton still isn’t done! He clears the announce desk and drags Hardy up and over there. The vicious Viper of old has returned as he rams Hardy’s head into the table top, then rains down rights. The referees can’t stop Orton as he tears Hardy’s arm sleeves and shirt away. Orton even takes his Team Extreme necklace!

Orton adds one last insult to injury as he pours water all over Hardy’s face, rains down more rights, then wipes away the paint Hardy painstakingly applied. “Enigma? You’re a waste.” Orton glares at the WWE Universe, who he blames for putting Hardy above him. He leaves Hardy gasping and sputtering. What more will the Legend Killer turned Killer Legend do to finally end the Enigma?

 

Backstage interview with Becky Lynch.

How does the Lass Kicker feel about her best friend, Charlotte, possibly being added to the SmackDown Women’s Championship match? Becky’s happy that Charlotte is back and knows Charlotte has a big opportunity. If Charlotte wins, the match becomes a Triple Threat. The math calls for Becky to shift from emotion to logic. Becky is excited Charlotte’s back, but not for this. She knows she can win against anyone 1v1, but what does that mean about tonight’s match? Becky never roots against her best friend, but will her best friend get in her way?

 

Zelina Vega w/ Andrade “Cien” Almas VS Lana!

La Muneca and the Ravishing Russian got into it both in an argument and in a cat fight last week, but the distraction would coast the Bulgarian Brute against El Idolo. The arguments would continue online, and that forced GM Paige to give these women a chance to settle things in the ring. Will Lana be the best, Lana Number One? Or will Vega be as Trainquilo as her client and keep the duo undefeated?

The bell rings and the two circle. Vega rolls and Tranquilos already. Lana dares her to fight, but Vega fights when she’s ready to fight. In the meantime, Lana shows off her flexibility, but Vega shoves her. Lana shoves back, so Vega shoves her again. Now it’s a scrap! Vega gets away, but Lana dares her to return. El Idolo coaches Vega up while we go picture in picture.

Lana waits while Vega calms herself down. Vega slowly returns, and ties up with Lana agani. Lana gets a wristlock and whips but Vega reverses. Vega runs into headscissors and a heel kick. Lana bulldogs Vega down! Cover, TWO, and Vega scrambles away again. Lana stalks her to ropes but ends up in the ropes with a yank. Vega chokes Lana but backs off at the ref’s count. Vega yanks Lana back, then embraces the heat. She even pats herself on the back. She drags Lana up for a seated dragon sleeper. Lana endures and powers up, but Vega wrangles her back down. Lana refuses to quit as she works against the hold. We return to single picture as Vega holds on. Lana stands up but is thrown down again. Vega goes back to her dragon sleeper while fans rally for Lana.

The two stand up and Lana fights out with body shots. Vega throws her down again, then sits her up for a new chinlock. Lana stands so Vega hops on for a backpack sleeper. Lana backs Vega into buckles but Vega holds on. Another bump gets he r to let go, but then Vega throws Lana into buckles. Vega pump kicks Lana, then copies Almas with the CIEN KNEES! Cover, TWO! Vega is furious, but Almas tells her to keep it together. She brings Lana back up, and wants the hammerlock DDT, but Lana back drops Vega off! Lana rallies and fans fire up! She kicks low, Machka Neckbreaker! Lana-roonie! Then knees to the back on the ropes! Cover, TWO!

Lana grimaces down at Vega, and brings her up to whip her in a corner. She hits a back elbow, then whips again. Vega reverses but runs into another elbow. Lana hops up but Almas copies Vega by distracting. Lana still kicks Vega away, so Almas tries again. Aiden English gets Almas! But Vega rolls Lana up with tights! Vega wins!!

Winner: Zelina Vega, by pinfall

Now English has messed Lana up! Whether it’s Mr. or Mrs. Machka, it’s always MC Artiste trying too hard to help. Will Aiden English ever get it right on Rusev Day?

 

The Bludgeon Brothers speak.

Harper & Rowan are all smiles. If Cesaro & Sheamus want to set The Bar, they’ll gladly break it. And they’ll positively shatter The New Day. No one escapes at Summerslam, because no one can. Who will face the bludgeoning in Brooklyn?

 

Aiden English apologizes to Lana.

She wants to be left alone. Rusev needs his space but English thought he was doing the right thing. The right thing is to leave. Rusev comes storming by, and English disappears. Rusev asks if Lana is okay. He should’ve been out there instead. Lana knows Rusev needs to figure out his problem, but yeah, Lana could’ve used him out there. Now everyone is mad at everyone else. Will the Machka household be okay after this?

 

Daniel Bryan heads to the ring!

The Goat got one over on The Miz last week with his edited Miz & Mrs trailer, but the Miz got one over on Bryan with the fake baby. Now Bryan is here to address his long-standing archenemy in the WWE. Bryan makes sure to plug WWE Evolution, and lets us know he’s proud of his wife, Brie Bella. Brie was in the ring in that infamous 30 second match when #GiveDivasAChance. Both Bryan & Brie have fought for the respect of themselves and their peers, so this PPV is a “huge step forward.” But that said, when taking two step forwards, it seems like there’s one step back. And yes, he means that baby doll fake-out.

Watching that back, Bryan is bothered. For two years, Miz taunted, trolled and baited Bryan all because Bryan couldn’t compete. Miz thought he was safe, but then Bryan was cleared. That wall came crumbling down around Miz, so what did he do to further protect himself? He brought his wife, and what we thought was Miz’s own child. Why? To build one last line of defense, because if they were to ever get in a real fight, Bryan would destroy Miz. Fans agree with that. Bryan calls The Miz out to prove him wrong. Bryan would love nothing more than to punch Miz right in the face!

But Miz communicates via titantron. Miz thought Bryan would’ve learned as GM that this isn’t the indies or a high school gym. Miz is an elite talent, you have to earn a match. Call his manager, because he’s on location for more Miz & Mrs, the highest rated reality show in seven years! Just wait to see tonight’s second episode where they throw the best baby shower ever. And if there’s any doubt, Miz has security to keep fans from getting near him. Who cares about his pretentious lifestyle? Bryan wants a fight, but Miz just being somewhere else only proves Bryan right: Miz is “nothing more than a coward.”

Miz is a coward? He’s a coward? “YES! YES!” The last time Bryan said that, Miz was on Talking Smack, and what did Bryan do when Miz countered him? Bryan walked away! All Bryan really wants is an endless conflict to further Bryan’s career! Miz has carried Bryan ever since the original NXT reality show! But that’s the difference: Bryan is about passion, Miz is about fame. But Miz’s dream of sports entertainer to movie star, has been done by better men than Miz. Miz is not going to be The Rock. Heck, he won’t even be John Cena! And no one will remember Miz is a great wrestler, because he’s too soft. But if Miz insists on a big stage, talk to that manager, walk off the set and fight Bryan… at Summerslam!

This cycle continues. Bryan creates sympathy, get people to cry, repeat. When is Bryan going to accept reality? The Yes Movement is over, Team Hell No is over, everyone has moved on so why can’t Bryan? Let the contract expire so that you can go entertain everyone in gymnasiums. Everyone is annoyed with Bryan. Why can’t he quietly go away? All people see when they look at Bryan is a crying baby. Many crying babies. Miz has the final word, but who will be the one crying like a baby should these two have that grudge match?

 

Carmella VS Charlotte Flair!

The Queen of Flair kept the Princess of Staten Island from beating up Becky, so Carmella ran her mouth to the Glampire Manager. Paige didn’t take too kindly to anything Carmella did or said, so she upped the ante on her SmackDown Women’s Championship match. Can Charlotte turn this first night back into a golden opportunity?

Before the match, Renee interviews Carmella. Carmella is obviously aware of the situation she’s in, but her math and fashion sense are both Fabulous. Carmella wants Becky 1v1 because Carmella knows she can win. And despite what Becky says, Carmella knows she is cheering against Charlotte tonight.

The bell rings and the two circle. They tie up, and Charlotte powers Carmella to a corner. She honors the break but Carmella turns it around. Carmella ducks the chop to then moonwalk away. Becky watches backstage as the two tie up again. Carmella gets a headlock but Charlotte lifts her up. Carmella gets a headlock takedown but Charlotte goes for a Figure Four. The champ gets away and Charlotte says it was close. Carmella disagrees as they circle again. They tie up and Charlotte gets a headlock. Carmella powers out but Charlotte runs her over. Fans “WOO~” as Charlotte styles and profiles. Carmella swings but gets rolled up into Charlotte’s Web, TWO. Charlotte throws Carmella up and over, and Carmella rolls out of the ring. Charlotte slingshots but misses! Carmella throws her into the LED apron then into barriers! The Princess has control while we go to break.

SmackDown returns once more, and Charlotte hits ax handles on Carmella. Now she chops away as only a Flair can! Carmella runs into a back suplex! Charlotte kips up and walks over Carmella. She goes up top, but her Moonsault gets boots! Carmella gets on Charlotte to throw her out! Carmella shouts for a count out and the ref counts. Charlotte stirs at about 4 but Carmella kicks her back out at 6. The count restarts, but Carmella uses that to kick. Charlotte blocks it but misses her boot, and gets tilt-o-whirl headscissor’d into the barriers! Carmella throws Charlotte into the timekeepers area! She returns to the ring and shouts for a count! The ref counts and Charlotte slowly crawls out of the timekeeper’s area. She gets to the ring at 9! Carmella is on her with furious hands, going after the ribs!

Becky continues to watch backstage. Carmella wraps a chinlock on Charlotte, but fans rally up. Charlotte feeds off the energy, but Carmella throws and thrashes her back to the mat. Charlotte reaches as fans rally up again. Carmella hops on as a backpack but is powered into buckles. Charlotte frees herself, but Carmella throws her into buckles in return. Carmella glares at Charlotte as she stalks her. Carmella boots Charlotte, but Charlotte boots back! Cover, TWO! Charlotte grows frustrated, but she easily brings Carmella up. Carmella slips out but Charlotte rolls her up, ONE! Figure Four, but Carmella gets a quick ropebreak. Charlotte baseball slides Carmella into barriers. Charlotte climbs a barrier, for an ASAI moonsault! She hits Carmella then fires back up.

Charlotte puts Carmella in, then stalks her for NATURAL SELECTION! Cover, TWO!! Becky can’t be sure what she feels with that one. Charlotte herself is shocked Carmella survived, but that’s what a 1v1 match means. Charlotte runs but into a kick! She still gets Carmella down, but Carmella package counters! TWO, FABULOUS KICK!! Cover, TWO!? Carmella can’t believe that didn’t do it! The champ thinks on what else she can do. She steals the Figure Four! But gets caught into Charlotte’s Figure EIGHT! Carmella taps, Charlotte wins!!

Winner: Charlotte Flair, by submission; joins the SmackDown Women’s championship match at Summerslam

Becky is again conflicted, but Charlotte is elated! Three women fight over one title, who makes the best of it in Brooklyn?

 


 

My Thoughts:

This isn’t saying much, but SmackDown was much better than last night’s Raw. There was more talking than wrestling but almost everything had something important to contribute and was entertaining. Opening with Becky and Carmella was great. Carmella may not be the best in the ring, but she did really good on the mic with that fake emotional confession of her insecurities and all that. Using Ellsworth’s theme as a distraction was clever, too. Great to see Charlotte back, and WWE is doing great setting up their own “friends on the rocks” story with her and Becky now that they’re both going after the title. However, I am sensing it will cost them both the title and Carmella holds it until Hell in a Cell in September. But as I’ve been saying. I’d love to see #TeaGenerationX VS #LegitHuggable at WWE Evolution for the Women’s Tag Titles.

That tag team match of Usos VS The Bar was incredible. That was approaching the level of a tag team championship match already. The Bar winning was done well with a sudden reversal of things, and The Bar VS New Day will be a nice, fresh match-up. We didn’t get enough of this match up before The Bar inexplicably disappeared from TV. I actually hope The Bar wins so that we get a completely fresh match for Summerslam, and I hope both The Bar and Bludgeon Brothers stay Heel so that WWE will actually do something else that’s fresh. Samoa Joe’s message to AJ Styles was definitely personal, and pure gold. I thought we were getting Orton VS Hardy tonight, but Orton and Nakamura beating down Hardy was actually better. I’m still sensing a Triple Threat for the US Championship.

Vega VS Lana was pretty fun, and I hope this means Vega will throw her name into the Women’s Division full time so that there’ll be more women to fight for the singles title. At the same time, it does a great job of feeding the overall Rusev Day story. I still don’t want Team Rusev Day to break up, but it’s much more organic to have it happen because English is failing to of help rather than Lana driving a wedge between them. Also I want a Mixed Tag of Rusev-Lana VS Almas-Vega before then. And while Joe’s promo was gold, so was the back and forth between Bryan and Miz. They both got great shots in (especially Bryan’s lines about Rock & Cena), but it really means a lot for Miz to get the last word because Bryan likely gets the win.

My Score: 8.5/10

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Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Live Results & Report! (12/11/18)

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SmackDown brings us a Wrestlemania Rematch this close to TLC! The Queen ended the Empress of Tomorrow’s undefeated streak, but will history repeat itself?

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Daniel Bryan VS Mustafa Ali; wins.
  • Naomi VS Mandy Rose; wins.
  • Rap Battle: The Usos VS The Bar, The New Day hosting; win(s).
  • Charlotte Flair VS Asuka; wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Daniel Bryan heads to the ring!

Or should we say, the new Daniel Bryan. Either way, the WWE Championship will be on the line against the Phenomenal AJ Styles. However, it’s a minor miracle Styles can even compete after what this Daniel Bryan did to his leg at the end of last week. Fans boo and jeer this Bryan as he picks up a mic. Bryan recalls calling the WWE Universe a bunch of sheep. He wants to apologize for that. Bryan wants to apologize to sheep. Sheep don’t deserve to be compared to such idiots! They’re not the ones destroying the planet with endless consumption. It’s not a “carbon hoof print.” The fans aren’t sheep. They’re parasites! Fans disagree, and believe “Daniel Sucks!” He just calls them fickle.

As he was saying, fans are parasites because they take and take and give nothing in return, especially in Las Vegas. But Bryan isn’t surprised, because fans latched on tot he Old Bryan and lived vicariously through him. That’s what the Yes Movement really was. “Well guess what? The Old Daniel Bryan is dead! And the Yes Movement is dead!” But just like any parasite, the fans have moved on to a new “fickle field”. And these idiots all sit on the couch in the House that AJ Styles Built. Fans cheer for Styles, but Bryan reminds us he is the WWE Champion! And at TLC, Bryan vows to crush Styles’ dream of reclaiming the title, and then the announcement will be “Still WWE Champion, the NEW Daniel Bryan!”

Do fans not believe him? “No! No!” Well Bryan debates with friends all the time, “sometimes you don’t know whether your’e stupid or you deliberately pull the wool over your eyes so you don’t have to realize the facts.” Stupidity is the deliberate cultivation of ignorance. Like in Vegas! But wait, here comes Bryan’s opponent for tonight, the Beacon of Light, Mustafa Ali! Ali responds to Bryan with an introduction, but Bryan already knows who he is. The idiot fans might not but Bryan does. And he knows they’re having a match later, but Ali can join him now. Bryan gives Ali an introduction, and it seems fans do know who he is. Ali is the Heart of 205 Live, and is an incredible performer. Bryan sees a lot of his former self in Ali.

So Bryan gives Ali advice: they don’t need to have this match tonight. Bryan tells Ali that the fans won’t care, “they’re too self-absorbed” and xenophobic. These fickle fans do not deserve this great match. Fans boo so Bryan calls them all fickle. But Ali wants to know what happened to Bryan. Bryan inspired wrestlers like Ali to become a superstar. The entire 205 Live roster looks up to Bryan because Bryan stood toe to toe with any giant and proved he had heart. So what happened? Bryan talks about the Old Bryan, but that Old Bryan would want a fight. Ali wants a fight! Bryan paces while fans chant “Fight! Fight!” Bryan asks Ali what kind of car he drives. What does that have to do with this? But, it’s an SUV.

Bryan doesn’t like that. Ali is small, why does he need a car so big? Well, he has a wife and kids- Bryan slaps him! Bryan says Ali is ignorant, and slaps him again. So Ali fights back! Bryan whips but Ali reverses and headscissors Bryan tot he apron! Then dropkicks Bryan out, and leaps with a senton! Ali looks to shut this New Bryan up, next!

 

Daniel Bryan VS Mustafa Ali!

 

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Joe’s Lucha Libre Weekly: News & Analysis (12/9/10)

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What happened in CMLL, AAA, and the world of Lucha Libre this week? Joe Dinan has you covered!




CMLL

Last Friday Arena Mexico

So this was the Legends of Mexico show or Leyenda de Mexicana. The main event was a legends match which… wasn’t exactly good. It’s fun to see legends in the ring, and that’s why the fans were there but judging from a match point of view they couldn’t really move well. The match included Rayo de Jalisco, Atlantis, and Blue Panther vs Mascara Ano 2000, Canek, and Villano IV. In fairness Blue Panther can still move really well for his age. Rayo, Blue Panther, and Atlantis won the match. There was a 6 man tag titles match between Los Guerrero’s facing Sanson, Cuatrero, and Forastero. Los Guerrero’s retained their titles. Mano Negra, Solar, and Felino faced off against Fuerza Guerrera, Jerry Estrada who hasn’t been in Arena Mexico for 25 years, and Negro Navarro. That match was okay.

Arena Puebla Monday Show

The main event saw Rush and Terrible facing Volador and Diamante Azul. Volador and Azul won the match and at the end Terrible wanted to face Volador in a match. That’ll happen in the future I assume. Co Main event saw Atlantis, Soberano, and Valiente facing Felino, Bucanero, and Cavernario. It was a fun match with the latter winning.

Arena Mexico Tuesday Show

The main event of this show saw Sanson, Cuatrero, and Forastero facing Atlantis, Angel de Oro, and Niebla Roja. This was a fun match which saw the latter winning. I feel like they’re setting up an Atlantis match with Sanson out of this. Titan, Triton, and Esfinge faced off against Mephisto, Luciferno, and Ephesto. It was a really fun match with Mephisto, Luciferno, and Ephesto winning. Misterioso defeated Black Panther in a lightning match as well.

Arena Mexico Friday

The card this Friday sees the main event being Volador Jr facing Ultimo Guerrero in a singles match. It doesn’t appear that the heavyweight championship is on the line. Atlantis, Valiente, and Azul face Rush, Terrible, and Cavernario in the co main event. This really isn’t that big or important of a show based off the match card. I don’t expect the attendance to be over 10,000 this week.




AAA

AAA was live on Twitch on December 2nd. Every title was on the line but the story during the show was Brian Cage sent in a video message with Melissa Santos explaining in Spanish that he had a ton of injuries and couldn’t make it to the show. I think that was just to save face since Fenix also couldn’t wrestle because Cage just worked a match on Wednesday. Fenix comes out to cut a promo and explain things. The fans boo him because AAA stupidly kept promoting the match knowing for 9 days that Fenix wasn’t going to wrestle. He even mentioned it on their Lucha Capital show on Facebook the previous Wednesday. The false advertisement and use of card subject to change to trick the fans is bullshit. Subject to change means the card changes if an injury or last minute thing happens. It’s not a free pass to advertise matches you know you’re never going to do. Anyway on to the card.

Lady Shani won the title in the first match. Keyra was supposed to be in the match to make it a 5 way but she was at a WWE try out in Chile. So it was a four way and Scarlett Bordeaux left the match mid way through. So Shani won the match after Faby had a spat with the ref. The next match built on the angle of Mascara and Maximo. Mascara and his team win the match further continuing the feud. There’s talks of Maximo and Mascara being in a hair vs hair match.

Laredo Kid, Hijo Del Vikingo, and Angelikal who is now called Myzteziz Jr, as AAA La Parka pronounced him earlier in the show (Have fun typing Myzteziz.), faced Porde de Norte for the 6 man tag titles. The story going in here was the former team beat Porde de Norte 3 straight times so conventional thinking is they won’t win this match, but they actually did, crowning new champs. There was an impromptu match afterwards where Vikingo was taken out by the OGTs and La Parka replaced him. They still beat the OGTs, later we learned this match was because there was no Fenix vs Cage match.

Pagano and Joe Lider faced Ciclope and Miedo Extremo and Texano and Rey Escorpion for the tag titles in a hardcore match. It wasn’t as hardcore as the previous matches but it was still pretty hardcore. Texano and Rey retain their titles. Fantasma faced Drago to defend his Latin American championship. The story of the match was Fantasma was dominating and Drago just kept kicking out and Drago basically rolled him up for the win. As said before Cage and Fenix didn’t wrestle.

The main event was between Blue Demon Jr and Killer Kross facing Dr. Wagner Jr and Psycho Clown. Scarlett came out with Kross to distract. Vampiro came out to stop her but Kross kills him. Kross and Blue Demon ended up winning and Scarlett was hitting Wagner after the match. You know she’s going to get hers soon. Better not show anyone in the United States. They’ll complain to Roshfrans.

AAA on Twitch 12/8

There’s a show on the 8th which isn’t much of a star driven show. The main event features Dr. Wagner Jr, Psycho Clown, and Pagano facing Blue Demon Jr, Killer Kross, and Rey Escorpion. I’m sure Scarlett Bordeaux will be by ring side for that. The Co-Main event sees the OGTs facing Porde de Norte. That’s Averno, Chessman, and Super Fly vs Mocho Cota Jr, Carta Brava Jr, and Tito Santana. Aerostar will face Monster Clown in a special singles match. Laredo Kid, Hijo Del Vikingo and a luchador surprise who might just be Myzteziz Jr will face Taurus, Australian Suicide, and Jack Evans.




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