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Chairshot Classics: WWE SummerSlam 2013

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We see a clip from the catering table where Ryback is giving a server a hard time about cold soup. The server then tells him it is supposed to be cold because it is gazpacho. Ryback is pretty upset about the cold soup and pours it over the head of the server. Stupid I know. Cole welcomes us back and introduces the package for the match between two protégés of Paul Heyman. They, of course, are CM Punk and Brock Lesnar. The video is narrated by Heyman and starts with him advocating for Punk while showing their run together with Punk as Champion. Up next is Heyman’s betrayal of Punk when he attacked him with a ladder at Money in the Bank, thus costing him the briefcase. This is when Heyman announces the return of Lesnar, the part-timer, and the two would destroy each other on RAW. Heyman is the catalyst to this feud and this is a great package to showcase that.

 

Lesnar and Heyman are the first ones out for this No DQ match and the crowd pops with mixed emotions. The “Cult of Personality”, on the other hand, receives a monstrous pop from the fans. CM Punk screams “It’s clobberin’ time!” from the ramp before he makes his way to the ring. This is done as an homage to the Fantastic Four’s, Thing, as Punk is a self-proclaimed “Comic Book Nerd”. This is at time when Punk was frustrated with the company over being booked with “part-timers” and was dealing with some nagging injuries. Punk has spoke on Colt Cabana’s podcast about this time period, and it even lead to a lawsuit by the WWE that Punk won. Once the bell sounds, Lesnar is quick out of the gate and tackles Punk into the corner. After about ten shoulder blocks, Punk fights his way out behind some forearms. Lesnar just absorbs them and slams Punk into the corner and repeats the shoulder blocks. Lesnar then tosses him into the corner opposite and stomps Punk to the mat as the building rumbles with “CM Punk” chants. Punk again escapes the corner, this time with lifting knee strikes. When Punk tries for a kick, Lesnar catches it and drives Punk right back into the corner. Lesnar then grabs Punk by the hair and tosses him across the ring. Lesnar again drives Punk into the corner, but this time he chokes him with his boot. Lesnar takes a moment to scream “This is my house” and this opens a window for Punk to kick him in the face. Punk then runs at Lesnar and lands the high knee strike before hitting the ropes. Lesnar is leaning on the ropes and when the Second City Saint lands a second knee strike, Brock falls from the ring. Punk hits the ropes again nails Lesnar with a tope suicida. The crowd is chanting “CM Punk” again and the building hasn’t stopped shaking since the match began.

 

Punk dismantles the ring steps but when he turns around with the top half, Lesnar rams them right back into Punk with a shoulder block. Lesnar places Punk on his shoulder and tries to ram him face first into the ring pole. Punk escapes with a backslide and shoves the face of Lesnar into it instead. Punk then takes to the top rope and drops an elbow onto the top of Lesnar’s skull. He climbs onto the announce table and takes Lesnar out with a seated clothesline. An error is made on Punk’s part here when he turns his attention to Paul Heyman. Just as Punk gets his hands on Heyman, Lesnar comes running and makes the save with a clothesline to the back. After a few stomps, Lesnar easily tosses Punk over the announce table. I think he was meant to land on top of it, but the strength behind the toss had other plans, and Punk collides with the Spanish announce team. He then tosses him onto the other announce table and Punk is really holding his back after this. You can see the outline instantly where his back hit the corner of a monitor. He then places the tabletop across Punk and breaks it in half by stomping it with both feet. When Brock jumps to do this, I kid you not, his feet are level with the ring. Lesnar is taking his time now and gives Punk a belly-to-belly toss on the outside before returning him to the ring. Punk is to his feet before Lesnar enters fully and unloads kicks to the knees of Lesnar. Before they can take The Beast off his feet, Punk is met with a colossal clothesline from Lesnar. Punk is driven into the corner again for some more shoulder blocks before Brock stretches him with a bear hug. It takes about ten elbows to the face but Punk does it and escapes the hug. He hits the ropes but is met with a gutbusting knee from Lesnar. After Lesnar drops a knee on Punk’s ribs he picks Punk back up and again has him in a bear hug. Its elbows to the side of Lesnar’s head that help him escape this one, and after a kick to the midsection, Punk takes to the top rope. Lesnar catches the crossbody and slams Punk to the mat. A backbreaker is next for Punk, but Lesnar doesn’t release him and instead scoopslams him to the mat. Lesnar goes for the first cover but Punk gets the shoulder up. Lesnar tries this two more times, but Punk gets the shoulder up for each one.

 

Brock Lesnar is now showing signs of frustration as he puts Punk in a headlock. The crowd is once again electric with “CM Punk” chants, and after a few punches from Punk, he starts to bite the ear of Lesnar. The Shades of Tyson pay off and he is free from Lesnar’s grasp once again. The kicks of Punk leave Lesnar dazed and CM takes to the top rope. When Lesnar turns around, Punk leaps off and catches Brock with a knee to the face. This leaves Lesnar stunned in the corner and Punk hits him with two more running high knee strikes. When he tries for a third, Lesnar catches him and it appears as though the F5 is inbound. Punk escapes it and hits Lesnar in the side of the head with a roundhouse kick. Punk then takes to the top ropes and hits that elbow drop that he does so well. The exhaustion of Punk shows here, though, as he doesn’t get much air for this one. For the first time tonight Punk hooks the leg, and Lesnar narrowly escapes by getting the shoulder up. A sadistic smile comes over the face of CM Punk as he is signaling for the Go To Sleep. Punk gets Lesnar up, but he escapes and lifts Punk for the F5. This, too, is avoided but Brock isn’t able to avoid another roundhouse kick to the head. Punk again lifts Lesnar onto his shoulders and holds him there to smile for the camera. When he drops Brock for the knee, Lesnar is able to land on his feet and put Punk in the Kimora Lock. Punk struggles to escape, but Lesnar overpowers him and takes him to the mat. This turns into a UFC style grappling game, and even though there is some serious torque on the arm of Punk, he transitions into an armbar. This soon becomes an arm triangle and just when it looks like Lesnar may tap out, he lifts Punk up. The triangle is still applied when Lesnar slams Punk to the mat and Punk keeps it locked in. Lesnar’s hand is close to tapping, but he again stands up. This time the powerbomb he delivers jars Punk and frees the lock. The “This is Awesome” chants are in full force when Lesnar roll over to make the cover. The crowd explodes when Punk digs deep and gets a shoulder up.

 

Brock Lesnar channels Eddie Guerrero here and gives Punk the Three Amigos. This starts an “Eddie” chant from the fans and it is moments like this that make Professional Wrestling stand above the rest. After another kick-out from Punk, Lesnar takes his time leaving the ring and getting a chair. This allows Punk to take to the top rope, but when he leaps off, he is met with a chairshot from Lesnar. This works in Punk’s favor as the chair bounces off his ribs and into Lesnar’s head. Punk now gets a chair and hits Brock in the back twice with it. Lesnar stays on his feet and rolls back into the ring. Punk is not far behind and enters the ring behind him with the chair. This doesn’t go as planned and Lesnar catches the chair when Punk swings it at him. Lesnar raises the chair high above his head but before he can swing it Punk get him with a low blow. We can hear Punk say a great line here, “Where is your cup now UFC boy?” This is great for a few reasons, one being Punk’s short lived and unsuccessful UFC run a few years later. Punk now takes his time and climbs to the top rope, chair in hand. He raises the chair high above his head as the fans explode. This is quite a shot here. He leaps high this time and uses the chair for a brutal elbow drop. The crowd counts along as Punk makes the cover, but Lesnar is able to get a shoulder up. Punk keeps the chairshots coming and gives Lesnar two more to the back. When he tries for a third, Heyman comes to the apron and grabs the chair. The two argue, and just as Punk grabs him by the tie, Lesnar lifts Punk for a F5. Punk still has ahold of the tie and this helps him to escape. He then lifts Lesnar and the top comes off the Staples Center when Punk hits the GTS. Punk hooks the leg and looks to have the fight won when Heyman breaks the cover up. Heyman runs from the ring and Punk takes chase. Paul slides through the ring but when Punk enters, Lesnar is there is waiting. He lifts Punk again for a F5 but when he tosses Punk, he holds on and DDT’s Brock. He rolls Lesnar over and once again hooks the leg. The crowd lets out quite the sigh when Lesnar once again gets the shoulder up. CM Punk locks the Anaconda Vise in, while screaming “What are you gonna do now?” at Lesnar. Heyman enters the ring, this time with a chair. Punk releases the hold and stops Heyman from using the chair. After Punk knocks Heyman to the mat with a punch, he puts Paul in the Anaconda Vise. Paul instantly taps out but Punk doesn’t release until Lesnar hits him in the back with a chair. Lesnar then gives him a F5 onto the chair. When Lesnar hooks the leg, and when the ref counts the three, the arena is silent. This right here is a barnburner. Everything about it was great. The only takeaway here is why the hell can’t we see matches like this from Lesnar once in a while anymore? They are putting a blemish on a otherwise amazing in-ring career. He just has such a limited move set now. Either way this is the Lesnar of old in a must see match. Match Time-25:17

 

Up next is a cool happening from the Axxess event. A fan, Brandon Hendrix, was offered three tickets to SummerSlam if he would take a splash from Mark Henry. He does so, and when we re-enter the arena we see his special seats for this next match. He and his girlfriend, along with two friends get to sit in front of the announce table. Lucky bastards. Dolph Ziggler and Kaitlyn are out first for this mixed tag match. There opponents are the Diva’s Champion AJ Lee and Big E Langston. Why isn’t this a Diva’s match, as this is the feud that the match centers around. I guess it shows how they felt about the division at the time. Big E and Dolph kick it off and Ziggler avoids Big E’s attempted Collar and elbow. When Big E turns around he is met with an explosive missile dropkick from Ziggler. Dolph covers, but Big E is able to throw him off before the count of one. Big E powerslams Ziggler to the mat and hits a 180 splash. He hooks the leg but, Ziggler is able to kick-out. An abdominal stretch is next for Big E and he drives forearms into Ziggler’s ribs while doing so. He then holds Ziggler so AJ can slap him in the face. She, for some reason, licks her hand before doing so. After a dropkick sends Big E to the corner the women tag in. After a clothesline from Kaitlyn, she hits AJ Lee with a sidewalk backbreaker. A spinning heel kick from AJ gives her some momentum and she makes a cover, but Kaitlyn is able to kick-out. Lee then uses a snapmare to take Kaitlin to the mat and applies a headlock. Kaitlyn breaks free from the hold, but is taken right back to the mat with a back elbow. AJ Lee hooks the leg but Kaitlyn kicks out.

 

A pair of swinging neckbreakers are next from Lee, but instead of going for a cover she dances around the ring saying “I’m the Champion.” Lee then jumps onto the back of Kaitlyn and locks in a sleeper hold. Ziggler gets the crowd clapping and this leads to Kaitlyn ramming Lee into the turnbuckle. The hold is broken, but AJ Lee kicks Kaitlyn back to the mat with a dropkick to the back. Lee hits the ropes, but Kaitlyn takes her to the mat with a shoulder tackle. Both ladies make a tag and the men come in hot. Ziggler strikes first and sends Big E into the corner with a dropkick. After a splash, Ziggler hits a neckbreaker followed by ten elbow drops. Before the tenth one is dropped he thrust his crotch at AJ Lee. Ziggler covers but Big E kicks out. He tries for the Fame-Asser, but Big E avoids the leg drop and gives Dolph a backbreaker. Big E now covers and it takes Kaitlyn’s kick to break it up. AJ Lee enters, and after a double knee strike to the face of Kaitlyn, they both roll from the ring. Big E tosses Dolph into the ring and delivers a brutal shoulder tackle. He charges for a second, but this one is avoided and E collides with the ring post. Dolph hits the ropes, but AJ grabs his foot. This distracts Ziggler for a moment until Lee is taken out from a Spear by Kaitlyn. When Ziggler turns back around he is taken out by a colossal clothesline from Big E. Big E then hooks a leg but Ziggler still kicks out. Things get serious when Big E pulls the straps of his singlet down. He tries for The Big Ending, but Ziggler escapes with a backslide a hits the Zig-Zag. Dolph hooks the leg and gets the three count. This match here is nothing special and I think it was to bring the fans back to earth after the high of the last match. Their plan worked, as this match was lackluster at best. Match Time-6:45


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