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Mitchell’s Lucha Underground Report! (8/22/18)

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The feud of Pentagon and Cage for the Lucha Underground Championship has escalated to the point where it comes down to the Last Man (Or Machine) Standing!

 

Gifs can be found on http://frentique.tumblr.com/

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Haunted House Match: The Mack VS Mil Muertes; Muertes wins.
  • Aerostar VS Jake Strong; Strong wins.
  • Lucha Underground Championship Last Man Standing Match: Pentagon Dark VS Cage; Pentagon wins and retains the Lucha Underground Championship.

PLAY BY PLAY

Melissa Santos prepares for the night.

She finishes her make-up as El Dragon Azteca Jr. walks in. He asks how she’s doing, in reference to losing Fenix in the Three Way to the Grave Casket Match. Melissa says she’s doing great, but he can tell. The Believers need her to have a happy face, but she can be honest with Azteca. She misses him. She does. But then Azteca spots the medallion Catrina gave her. He helps Melissa put it on. Her missing Fenix just shows that he’s alive and well, in her heart. “The more you grieve, the more you loved.” She gave Fenix’s life meaning, and he was lucky to have her. And she’s lucky to have such a great friend in Azteca. Showtime! But perhaps, was Azteca hoping for more than friendship?

 

Haunted House Match: The Mack VS Mil Muertes!

The Man of 1000 Deaths doesn’t forget nor forgive what is done to him. The Mack eliminated him from the Gift of the Gods running first, and brought the wrath of the undead upon him. Now Mack must battle Muertes in this first-ever for the Temple! Can he survive the things that go bump in the night?

Granted, this “haunted house” is more like a Halloween party, but this does set the mood just a little. Catrina also walks right up to Melissa. “Now I know you’re not that smart, sweetheart. But you forgot to introduce me.” Do it right, bitch. Catrina shoves the mic back at Melissa, and Melissa stands up. “No!” Catrina claws Melissa, then bounces her off the steel! Melissa crawls away, but Catrina gives her a Lick of Death before smashing her face into a vase! The Lady in Red leaves Melissa for dead, and we go to break.

Lucha Underground returns and Catrina eagerly watches the match officially begin. Fans duel while Mack and Muertes circle. Mack dodges Muertes, but he can’t go too far with the cage around them. Mack dodges again, to then SMACK Muertes with a haymaker. But it does nothing! Muertes takes another, and another, and still no effect. Mack runs, ducking Muertes’ clotheslines, to then leg lariat! But Muertes still stands! Muertes gives Mack a BIG choke slam! He then rains rights and lefts, and even stomps, before SMACK with the kendo stick! Muertes puts a trash can on Mack’s head before SMACK against the steel!

Muertes looks at the selection of weapons hanging from the steel, and chooses the crowbar. He jams it into Mack, then slams the trash can on Mack over and over. Mack writhes, but Muertes drags him up. Muertes whips Mack but runs into his boot. Mack back elbows, too, then boots him again. Mack sunset flips but Muertes stays standing. Muertes punches but misses, and Mack runs, but into the powerslam! Fans duel again as Muertes goes for the pumpkin. Muertes brings it over, to slam it on Mack’s back! Muertes pulls and stretches the mouth of Mack, then brings him up for a whip. Mack slides under, then kicks and kicks, for the satellite DDT! Both big men are down, but Catrina isn’t worried for her undead soul mate.

Mack climbs up, going for an item way up top. But Muertes stops him with a clubbing forearm on the back! Mack tumbles between ropes and steel, and Muertes fires off forearms and chops. Muertes runs, to SPEAR Mack into the steel! The Reaper’s Trident rips that wall open! Muertes runs again, to SPEAR Mack again! Mack is limp as Muertes scrapes him to the outside. This battle spills outside the cage, for a DDT to the floor! Fans rally up as Muertes pushes Mack through the opening. Muertes puts a table through the hole! Mack crawls while Muertes climbs his way up and in. Muertes aims from the top rope, for a flying crossbody! Cover, TWO! Mack lives, but Muertes still has many morbid ideas left to use.

Muertes sets the “haunted” table up in the corner, then brings the “spooky” table up into the other. He returns to Mack while Believers chant “Spooky! Spooky!” Muertes takes the knife! The referee begs Muertes show mercy to Mack, but he doesn’t! He jabs the edge into Mack’s face! Mack is bleeding profusely, but Muertes simply takes a taste. Muertes keeps jabbing Mack with the knife! The wounds grow worse, and Believers start to feel sick. But Catrina adores this gore as Muertes brings Mack up. He whips Mack but Mack stops himself. Mack dodges, Muertes stops himself, then he dodges Mack. Mack sees Muertes coming, and Spinbusters Muertes through the “haunted” table! Believers fire up for the bloody underdog, but Muertes SPEARS him through the “spooky” table! Cover, TWO!? Mack survives!

Believers declare “This is Awesome!” but Muertes brings in another “haunted” table and sets it up nearby. Mack drags himself up, blood making a crimson mask on his face. Muertes drags him over, prepares a finish, but Mack fights out. Mack gives elbow after elbow after elbow, then the Mack Stunner! Muertes still stands, so he gets a second stunner! And a third! Believers fire up as Mack brings Muertes up again. He sets Muertes on the table, then climbs up top! Muertes sits up! And uppercuts Mack back! Muertes climbs up, grabs Mack, SUPER FLAT LINER through the table!! Cover, Muertes wins!!

Winner: Mil Muertes, by pinfall

Melissa can’t make an announcement, but everyone knows what just happened. The inhumanity of Muertes & Catrina grows, but when Muertes wants her to get her taste, she tells him “No.” Will Muertes ever get satisfaction now that Catrina’s rejoined the Land of the Living?

 

Famous B is on the mic.

Given the CEO of Infamous Inc. got his leg broken by The Savage, Jake Strong, he thanks everyone who called 423-Get-Fame and wished him well. That’s not many. He has seven screws and needs three surgeries, but he’ll be good soon. And seeing as how Melissa isn’t here, Famous B will introduce the next match. Famous B would never leave the Believers. However, he has to introduce “The Savage” himself!

Aerostar VS Jake Strong!

The Space Age Luchador recently got his friend, Drago, back after helping the Worldwide Underground defeat the Reptile Tribe. How will his return go against the ruthless All-American American?

The bell rings and the two stand face to face. Strong brings up their height difference, but Aero fires off! Strong pushes Aero to a corner but misses in the corner. He blocks Aero’s punch to punch back, then suplex Aero all the way into the ring! Fans chant “Strong! Strong!” as he puts Aero in the corner. Strong whips Aero corner to corner but runs into boots. Aero tilt-o-whirls and headscissors, then builds speed to crucifix! Cover, TWO!

Strong and Aero stand and fans rally behind the smaller wrestler. Aero is put in the corner again but he boots Strong away. Aero double jumps and missile dropkicks Strong down. He keeps going, runs the ropes and front dropkicks Strong again. Cover, TWO! Fans rally as Aero runs at Strong. Strong puts him on the apron, but gets the swing kick. Aero climbs again, but Strong throws him off! Strong grabs the leg, and has the Ankle Lock! Aero taps, Strong wins!

Winner: Jake Strong, by submission

But savage as ever, Strong holds on past the bell. Here comes Drago! Strong backs away as Drago swings his nunchaku! The Temple’s Dragon protects his Super Amigo, and are united against Strong. Will Drago & Aerostar overcome Strong’s personal warpath? Or will he take their ankles along with some souvenirs?

 

The Worldwide Underground hold a “Jack & Jill” wedding shower.

The locker room is decorated in green, gold and white, which are clearly the colors the future Mr. & Mrs. Mundo have chosen. PJ Black and Jack Evans are there to present their presents to the lovely couple. A gift certificate to the Slam Town Spa & Resort? They love that place! Thanks, Darewolf. But before they get to Jack’s, Taya has one for Johnny~! He opens it up, and it’s a panting of himself! “This is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” But it also reminds him of when his title was stolen from him way back at Ultima Lucha Tres.

But Taya promises he’ll “steal it back”. She talked to Antonio Cueto, and they came to the agreement that the week after their wedding, Mundo faces whoever is the champion 1v1 for the title! “You truly are the perfect woman!” Mundo takes her hand in marriage next week, then the week after that, he takes back his Lucha Underground Championship! But while WWU celebrates, their manager, Benjamin, arrives. However, Ricky acts as the bouncer, and claims he’s not on the list. Actually, he is, because he was invited, because he’s actually useful to the WWU, unlike Ricky. But Rosa says no one talks to Ricky like that! Show him how useful you are, Ricky! Like you did Angelico. What? Ricky says “Benji” can come in, but first…

Oh a nice pen. Is this for Johnny to sign all Ricky’s autographs? “Not anymore!” Because he grabs Benjamin by the head, and stabs the pen into his throat! REPEATEDLY! Rosa laughs and Ricky grins as the blood flies everywhere! Taya screams, but because of Jack’s amazing gift. Matching bandannas! The WWU is completely unaware of the horrors around the corner. Will any of them learn of the blood on Ricky’s hands?

 

Lucha Underground Championship Last Man Standing Match: Pentagon Dark VS Cage!

It has been a back and forth war between these two ever since the challenger attacked the champion just because he could. Pentagon would retaliate, but he was unable to break The Machine. Now it will take this Last Man (Or Machine) Standing Match to settle it once and for all! Who will walk out of the Temple with the title?

Lucha Underground returns and Cage hits Pentagon already! He throws forearms as the bell rings, and they go around the ring just like they did last week. Pentagon staggers back into the ring but Cage drags him back out. Cage rocks Pentagon with a European Uppercut, then scoop slams him on the mat. The Terminator Drums echo as Cage rips at the mask! He’s all but exposed Pentagon before pushing him into a post. Fans let him know what they think of that, but Cage doesn’t care. Pentagon SMASHES a bottle on Cage’s head! But Cage barely flinches before giving Pentagon a clothesline! Cage smashes a bottle, but on a post, to use the jagged edge on Pentagon’s face! He digs it in until Pentagon bleeds!

Cage drags Pentagon back into the ring, then throws fist after fist into the wound. Pentagon is down and a count begins, but Cage isn’t satisfied with the damage done. He brings out a table! Pentagon bleeds and stirs but Cage has that table in the ring. Cage sets the table in the corner, then brings Pentagon up. He puts it out on Pentagon’s back, but Pentagon fights back. Pentagon tries a superkick but Cage blocks it. Cage swings a discus but Pentagon ducks it. Pentagon fireman’s carry, to Death Valley through the table! Believers love this already as Pentagon flounders his way out of the ring. Cage is down and a count begins, but Pentagon isn’t satisfied with this much, either. He brings in chairs!

Cage stands at 5, but SMACK, chair to the head! Pentagon fires up and watches the referee count. But then he drags Cage around at 6, to place the chair on Cage’s body. Pentagon then climbs up as fans change the song to “Ole~ ole ole ole~! Cero~, Miedo~!” Pentagon aims, and hits double stomps onto the chair! Cage’s rib cage is crushed, and he gets out of the ring, writhing and gasping. Pentagon hears the Believers chant for him, so he goes to the apron to kick. Cage blocks it to powerbomb Pentagon at railings! Fans lose their minds while Cage steadies himself. Cage brings out another table, then another. He sets them up together, but Pentagon has a trash can! Pentagon SMACKS Cage in the head with it! Believers love both of these men and their thirsts for violence.

Pentagon aims at Cage, but Cage smacks Pentagon with the can’s lid. Cage drags Pentagon back over, aims for the tables, and deadlift SUPERPLEXES Pentagon through them! It’s a double-edged crash and burn, and now both men are vulnerable to the count. Fans lose their minds all over again as Pentagon manages to stir. Cage stands at 5! Pentagon drags himself around while fans say “This is Awesome!” Cage drags Pentagon up, breaking the count. He puts Pentagon in a seat, then comes back with yet another table. He sets it up while fans rally up for Pentagon. Cage drags Pentagon over and into the ring. He lifts Pentagon, but Pentagon fights out. Pentagon kicks, but Cage lifts! Pentagon fights out, and SMACKS him with a chair! Cage is dizzy, Pentagon fireman’s carry for a Death Valley through THAT table!

Referees check on both men while fans continue to lose their minds. The count begins again, but somehow Pentagon stands at 4. Cage stirs at 5, but stands at 9. Pentagon kicks him in the leg! They go back into the ring, and Pentagon, his blood now a crimson mask, stumbles over to Cage. Cage springs up, to discus clothesline Pentagon down! He drags Pentagon back up, for the Driller Claw, suplex to piledriver! The Terminator Drums start up again because Cage brings out a fifth table! Fans duel while Cage sets things up. Pentagon stays low while Cage fetches a cinder block. Cage brings the block, but Pentagon SMACKS him with the lid! Pentagon places Cage near the table, then climbs up. Cage kicks him back! Cage climbs, but Pentagon fights back. SUPER DESTROYER, through the table!! Pentagon sits right up, and refuses to end this here!

Pentagon fetches chair after chair after chair. Cage is down while the count reaches 5. Pentagon has half a dozen chairs and starts setting things up. Cage crawls around, but Pentagon has made a nice row of chairs. Pentagon kicks Cage’s leg but Cage hits a jumping knee. Cage lifts Pentagon but Pentagon slips out to drop toehold Cage onto the chairs. Pentagon then kicks him up the middle! Pentagon stands on the chairs with Cage, which is scary, and gives  Cage a PACKAGE PILEDRIVER! But Pentagon still isn’t done. He places a chair around that supposedly unbreakable arm of Cage’s, then grabs another, for a Con-CHAIR-to!! Cage writhes in extreme agony, but Pentagon grins and laughs. He sets Cage up for the Dark Armbar, and SNAPS the arm! Cage finally breaks, but Pentagon wants to add on. Dark Armbar to the other arm, SNAP!!

Cage has no good arm, and the count begins! The Machine crawls to his cinder block, and Pentagon CURB STOMPS him through it! The count restarts, and everyone counts along. Cage stays down for all 10, Pentagon wins!!

Winner: Pentagon Dark; still Lucha Underground Champion

The level of destruction it took to stop the Machine cannot be measured, but the unbreakable did break! Pentagon went through so much pain himself, will he be ready in time for Mundo’s honeymoon challenge?

 


 

My Thoughts:

What a great episode. The story integration in the opening segments was great. Azteca seems to have fallen for Melissa, but she still loves Fenix. Then with Catrina beating Melissa up and the history between Fenix, Azteca and Muertes, I’m expecting no less than a mixed tag to be made. Muertes & Catrina VS Melissa and a man of her choosing, and the moment Melissa is about to name Azteca, Fenix returns! Then the love triangle can lead to a jealous Azteca putting up his title against Fenix’s feelings for Melissa. Or at the very least, we need a full Melissa Santos VS Catrina match for those two to cat-fight it out. The Haunted House Match itself was a let down at first because it was just a cheesy cage match. But then it went above and beyond in the action, and I loved it again.

Ricky is starting to scare me. I can’t be sure if he’s going to ruin the wedding or the title match in two weeks, but I can tell it’ll get bloody just like his “murder” of Benjamin. Meanwhile, Famous B does pretty good in his comedic return. Clearly Jake Strong is making the shift to Heel, as he goes up against Aerostar & Drago. I feel like Strong won’t want a tag team partner, he’ll assume he can win against both Super Amigos at the same time. That should be fun, given Aero and Drago are such great high-flyers. Famous B might even try to make them part of his team, only to be rejected and sidelined with another “injury.” Then that Last Man/Machine Standing match was incredible, and I’m happily surprised Pentagon retains, and him and Mundo settling the score from Season 3 will be great.

My Score: 8.5/10


Let us know what you think on social media @theCHAIRSHOTcom and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
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AAA Review & Results (2/16/2019)

Triple A coverage, brought to you by our Lucha genie Joe Dinan! 

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AAA coverage, brought to you by our Lucha genie Joe Dinan!

Live on Twitch 2/16

Dinastia (Draztik Boy), Dragon Bane, and La Parkita vs Mini Murder Clown, Mini Monster Clown, and Latigo

I don’t usually like reviews minis matches from AAA because they don’t do stories for them. CMLL does for the midgets even if they are dry stories. It’s still something, but I’d like to make note that La Parkita nearly killed himself cracking his skull on the ground doing a swanton bomb. Later in the show they revealed he was okay.

Winners: Draztik Boy, Dragon Bane and La Parkita

Super Porky or Brazo de Plata comes out to cut a promo. Mascara confronts him and Psycho Clown then confronts him. Porky has a walker. :/

Nino Hamburguesa, Lady Shani (Golden Magic), and Starfire vs Villano III Jr, Keyra, and Lady Maravilla

Magic and Villano start out with some acrobatic spots. Maravilla and Starfire come in and trade spots. Hamburguesa then comes in with Keyra and shoulder blocks her to oblivion. Villano hits a missile drop kick on Hamburguesa. Maravilla holds Nino in place and Keyra kicks him. Golden Magic gets drop kicked in the corner by Keyra. Starfire is getting teamed on now. Villano drops Starfire on Maravilla’s knee. Keyra hits a moonsault. Keyra prevents Nino from getting in then throws Maravilla to the corner. Starfire drop kicks Keyra into the corner and Nino runs into all of them. He then does a flipping senton. Nino then does it again. Magic gets in with Maravilla and super kicks her. Maravilla then trips him on the apron, drop kicks him to the outside then hits a splash off of the top. Keyra and Starfire trade pinning combinations. Starfire hits knees to Keyra’s back then hits a flip dive off the apron. Villano hits a code breaker on Nino then poses. Villano goes for a moonsault and he moves. Nino goes to the top and hits a guillotine leg drop. He goes back to the top. Maravilla tries to distract him. She succeeds and Keyra hits a sunset flip on Starfire and then a german suplex for the win. Keyra pins Starfire with a german suplex.

Winners: VIllano III Jr, Keyra, and Lady Maravilla

(Cruiserweight Championship) Laredo Kid vs Sammy Guevara (Champ)

Guevara fakes out Kid to pose in the beginning. They actually do acrobatic flips until Laredo just drop kicks him. Laredo Kid flips out of the ring, Sammy does the same and then Kid gets back in the ring and hits a middle rope missile head butt basically. Kid then hits an asai moonsault. He got impressive air. Kid goes to the ground then Sammy pretends he’s hurt. He pushes the ref into the ropes to crotch Laredo. He goes to the top and throws Kid up from a fireman’s position and he falls on the turnbuckle for a two count. Kid runs at Sammy and gets power slammed. Sammy then misses a moonsault, lands on feet, misses standing moonsault, lands on feet, then hits a standing shooting star. Sammy hits a standing spanish fly and Laredo no sells it and hits a flipping DDT. Kid kicks Sammy to the outside and hits a 450 off the apron onto the floor. Laredo misses a corkscrew tornado dive and Sammy hits a reverse GTS for a two count. Villano III attacks Laredo from behind when he was setting up the Laredo Fly. Sammy then kicks Laredo to the outside and hits a corkscrew dive over the top rope. Sammy goes to the top and hits a big shooting star press but Laredo kicks out. Everyone is surprised. Villano grabs Laredo by the head and La Parka pulls him down and attacks him on the apron. Sammy goes for a slam but Kid flips out of it and super kicks him. Sammy leaps up to the ropes and jumps but Kid catches him with a cutter. Laredo goes to the top and Sammy leaps to the top rope and hits a Spanish fly for a close two. Sammy goes to the top and Laredo leaps up and kicks him and goes up and hits the Laredo Fly for the win. And naturally he gets beat down by the Mercenaries afterwards. Vikingo and Myzteziz come to his rescue. Laredo Kid wins with a Laredo Fly.

Winner: Laredo Kid

Taya (Lady Shani), Aerostar (Dinastia), and Myzteziz Jr vs Faby Apache, Jack Evans (Super Fly), and Sammy Guevara (La Parka Negra)

This match got picked apart. Dinastia drop kicks Negra and he no sells it. Dinastia hits a head scissors then springboard splash. Super Fly comes in to work with Shani. Faby comes in and kicks Shani. Parka beats on Myzteziz on the outside. Shani gets teamed on in the ring. The technicos try to stop the teaming up but can’t just yet. Faby and the heel ref push each other. Faby kicks Shani and Negra kicks her butt. Myzteziz bounces on the ropes and hits a hurricanrana on Negra. Shani back breakers Faby and Dinastia takes out Super Fly. Apache and Shani meet in the ring now and Faby attacks her butt. Shani kicks Faby and then Super Fly beats on Shani. Shani hits an arm drag then a DDT on Super Fly. Negra runs over Myzteziz. Negra throws Myzteziz in the air but he gets caught for a hurricanrana. Myzteziz back drops Super Fly to the outside. Shani then dives to the outside on Super Fly. Myzteziz then dives over the top on Negra. Dinastia flips Faby in the ring then super kicks her. Faby hits a face buster and the ref counts slow so Dinastia kicks out. Faby then hit a Tiger suplex after dodges Dinastia and this time the ref counts but Faby is still upset with him. Faby Apache pins Dinastia with a tiger suplex.

Winners: Faby Apache, Super Fly, and La Parka Negra

Maximo, Mamba, and Pimpinela Escarlata vs La Mascara, Taurus, and Chessman

Maximo starts out against Mascara and goes for a dive off the apron but misses and Mascara beats on him. Escarlata and Mamba get taken out and they team on Maximo. Escarlata gets kicked in the groin but since he/she is playing a girl. No dq. Escaralata goes for a cross body and turns it into an arm drag on Taurus. Mamba hits an apron dive on Mascara and Maximo on Chessman. Escarlata tries to choke Taurus but he shrugs her off. Escarlata puts her butt in Mascara’s face to his disgust. Escarlata hits a double arm drag on Chessman and Taurus. She tries to kiss Mascara but he moves his head. She hits an arm drag then finally kisses him. She must be poison ivy. Mamba twerks a little bit in the ring with Chessman but then he slaps her ass and flips her over. Mamba hits a hurricanrana then an arm drags followed by the kiss of death twice. He falls out of the ring and she twerks. Maximo gets in with Mascara and Mascara leaves the ring. Maximo hits hurricanrana’s on Chessman and Taurus, then Mamba hits a flip dive through the flip rope. Maximo walks the ropes and hits a flip dive to the outside. Mascara goes to the top with Escarlata but Maximo goes up and kisses him. Escarlata school boys him for the win. Pimpinela Escarlata school boys Mascara for the win.

Winners: Maximo, Mamba, and Pimpinela Escarlata

Drago, Laredo Kid (Aerostar), and Hijo Del Vikingo vs Mocho Cota Jr, Carta Brava Jr, and Tito Santana

Porde de Norte drop kicks everyone to start to get the advantage. Vikingo hits a drop kick to change momentum. He chops Tito Santana’s chest. Afterwards Porde de Norte continues to work over everyone. Not much detail to say, just constant triple teaming. Drago hits a head scissors on Santana then launches Vikingo into the others for a drop kick. Aerostar then does a dive through the middle rope where he goes flying into the crowd. Vikingo does an asai imploder 450. In the ring Cota hits a belly to belly on Drago for a two count. Aerostar comes in and hits a running cutter on him. Brava crotches Aerostar on the ropes and does the double foot stomp off of the top. Vikingo catches Carta for a swinging slam that Santana breaks up. Santana jumps into a brutal Canadian destroyer and Drago breaks it up. Drago rolls into a code breaker and Brava breaks it up. Aerostar and Vikingo hit drop kicks on Brava and Santana. Aerostar hits a moonsault, Vikingo a 450 and Drago gets a pinning combination all for a two count. Drago then hits a dive through the middle rope on Cota. Vikingo drop kicks Santana then hits a dive through the middle rope on Santana and Cota. Aerostar dumps Brava to the outside and does a cannon ball splash on Brava and Cota. In the ring Drago sprays mist in Santana’s eyes and Vikingo hits an imploder 450 for the win. Hijo Del Vikingo pins Tito Santana with an imploder 450.

Winners: Drago, Aerostar, and El Hijo Del Vikingo

Psycho Clown, Dr. Wagner Jr, and Pagano vs Jeff Jarrett, Rey Escorpion, and Texano Jr

Escorpion attacks Clown with a chair. Texano ties his rope around Pagano’s neck. Jarrett works over Wagner. Texano then chokes Wagner, and Rey continues to beat on Psycho Clown. Clown gets Rey to the outside and hits a dive over the top. Pagano then hits a dive through the middle rope. Wagner hits a cutter on Jarrett then dragon screw leg whips Texano. Psycho Clown grabs the rope and hits Texano with it. Clown breaks a broom over Escorpion’s back. They hit multiple clotheslines in the corner on Jeff Jarrett. Clown works with Rey and Rey hits a power slam for a two count. Clown hits a head scissors followed by a sunset flip for a two count. Rey hits a draping DDT with Clown caught in the ropes for a two count. Rey postures on the top rope and Clown drop kicks him off. He goes on the turnbuckle post and leaps off onto Esocrpion. Wagner gets distracted by the ref and Jarrett breaks a guitar over his head. Pagano hits a leg drop to stop the count. Pagano hits a cutter on Texano and sets up a table. Pagano head butts a chair into Texano then smacks himself with said chair. Pagano goes to the top with the chair but Texano hits a crucifix power bomb through the table on him for the win. Texano Jr pins Pagano with a crucifix power bomb off the top. 

They continue to beat on the technicos post match. They steal Psycho Clown’s mask, yet again as they do every taping.

Winners: Jeff Jarrett, Rey Escorpion, and Texano Jr


Let us know what you think on social media @theCHAIRSHOTcom and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
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(NOAH) WEEKLY NEWSLETTER VOL.23 ~ 16TH FEBRUARY 2019

In an odd twist of fate, Marufuji is placed in a familiar, yet flipped position going into his GHC title challenge next month. Hisame let’s us know how the NOAH build is going!

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In an odd twist of fate, Marufuji is placed in a familiar, yet flipped position going into his GHC title challenge next month. Hisame let’s us know how the NOAH build is going!

CURRENT TOUR RECAP
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Kaito Kiyomiya and Naomichi Marufuji continued their feud over the GHC Heavyweight title. Kiyomiya managed to knock Marufuji out of the ring with a dropkick, but was left wondering as to whether Marufuji played it up deliberately. He also turned his back on him when Kiyomiya was in the ring and was announced.

Marufuji, now that he can’t do aerial attacks (and finally realizing that his body is older than he thought), has turned to more vicious tactics, and decided to work on Kiyomiya’s left arm. In Kiyomiya’s post match promo, he told him that he was going to take him apart bit by bit, and next it would be his legs.

Kiyomiya has vowed that he will find “the Genius’ weakness” before “my body breaks down”. 

It has been pointed out to Marufuji that he is in the same position that Mitsuharu Misawa was when he himself was GHC Heavyweight Champion; the senior is challenging the junior.

Mitsuharu Misawa challenges the then GHC Heavyweight Champion, Naomichi Marufuji, a young man in his twenties and of the next generation of heavyweight NOAH wrestlers

Atsushi Kotoge became injured at NOAH’s show in Fukushima on the 11th February, which has put a spanner in the works of the GHC Heavyweight Tag title match with Eddie Edwards, taking on 50 Funky Powers.

Kotoge had gone for the “Revolutionary Cloak Splash” from the top rope, but managed to damage his arm on landing. Fans noticed that he was in a lot of pain, and he was checked out in the ring. NOAH removed him from the subsequent show, and later announced that he had dislocated his elbow and suffered a further fracture to the arm.

Kotoge himself said that he had felt a shooting pain in his arm, and he couldn’t move it at all.

With Kotoge’s injury and subsequent card change, “The Mid Generation” (Go Shiozaki and Katsuhiko Nakajima),took on the champions. They obliterated them with Nakajima choking out Quiet Storm with a sleeper, and then laughing about it afterwards.

Although NOAH have not yet announced what will become of the title challenge, and whether Eddie Edwards will team with someone else or postpone his appearance until Kotoge is better (this may not be until the late summer, and Kotoge will most likely miss Global League 2019), but it may be likely that “The Mid Generation” will receive a title shot.

Katsuhiko Nakajima later posted ….

Three of the Dark Agents (Takashi Sugiura, Masao Inoue and Akitoshi Saito) have reunited to take down The Hooligans, however, they have not been very successful in their efforts with The Hooligans defeating them twice so far. Takashi Sugiura has already started making jokes about Masao Inoue, lumping him together with having experience akin to the rookies in the group, Kinya Okada and Yoshiki Inamura. Should Sugiura be unfortunate enough to join The Hooligans, his job will be as their lackey; KAZMA SAKAMOTO says he will have to carry Cody’s bags, lick his boots, clean their toilets, do Nagai’s laundry and wash Maybach Taniguchi’s back.

YO-HEY was said to be looking a lot happier at “the wife” (HAYATA) returning “home”, and while really the only thing that has happened on this tour between himself and HAYATA and the former friends in RATELS, is Daisuke Harada and Tadasuke appearing in the ring and demanding to know what HAYATA thought he was doing.

Their new teammate, Yoshinari Ogawa (backed by YO-HEY & HAYATA, as Kotaro Suzuki is currently absent), continued the fight with The Backbreakers (Hajime Ohara and Hitoshi Kumano) over the current GHC Junior Heavyweight Tag titles. Ogawa (in a supreme Golden Era move) threw a table at Hitoshi Kumano, and the team of The Backbreakers and Yoshiki Inamura were wiped out completely, with Ogawa posing with the belts at the end.

Yoshiki Inamura continued his “Seven Match Series”, this time against Masa Kitamiya.

NOAH have so far done very well this tour with both of their two opening dates being sold out.

NEWS

“COME AT ME YOU BASTARDS” (Kenoh’s column in “Weekly Pro”)
Kenoh visited the new NOAH offices and spoke of a variety of different things ranging from how nice the NOAH staff look now (even Mr. Okada looks smart now, despite “those fucking glasses”), the new company and how they should ask him for advice, the validation of his own opinion on “Leaving Misawa”, and Marufuji vs Kiyomiya.
Continuing his concerned older brother theme when it comes to Kiyomiya, and his hope that Marufuji will beat Kiyomiya for the belt for two reasons; the first being Kenoh wants to challenge, and the second that he seems to intimate that the longer Kiyomiya has it, the worse damage it is doing him, and the more Kenoh of all people seems to worry.

Kenoh’s other idea is that he will second Marufuji on the night (so to be first in line to challenge him), but I doubt that Marufuji is going to allow him to do that.

FAREWELL HAKATA STALENE
NOAH will return to the venue for the last time ever on March 17th, as the building is going to be torn down. Although the full card hasn’t been announced, Naomichi Marufuji will take on Yoshinari Ogawa (this will be their first singles match in 14 years) and Go Shiozaki and Takashi Sugiura will put on a “Golden Era Match” (as they always do when they collide in big matches).

CURRENT CHAMPIONS

TOUR TIDBITS

~ Katsuhiko Nakajima decided to wind up Kenoh by sticking his leg in his fist when Kenoh entered the ring and knelt to do his ring introduction.
~ Yoshinari Ogawa denied ever being part of Special 4.
~ NOAH returned to Shinyousei Twenty-One Hall, which has the infamous staircase named “The Demon Staircase of Hell” due to the fact that it is two flights, and means that due to there being no underground parking at the venue for the truck, the equipment has to be carried up and down it, across a courtyard and through the lobby.
~ Minoru Tanaka says his first wish has been granted (i.e. for a title match at Yokohama), but his second one is still outstanding, he won’t say what it is though.
~ Both Daisuke Harada and Tadasuke have hinted at possible moves to the heavyweight division. Tadasuke when he fought Kenoh and Masa Kitamiya and said something “sparked” in him, and Daisuke Harada pointing to the GHC Heavyweight and declaring it was his “final goal”.
~ Mohammed Yone got beaten up in front of a group of old ladies (one was his mother) by Katsuhiko Nakajima.
~ Hitoshi Yamato did his usual singing entry, and incorporated the lyrics that Naomichi Marufuji couldn’t have dried seaweed. Marufuji had a priceless look on his face. 
~ Cody Hall took a picture of Atsushi Kotoge who was sitting drinking coffee near a window; Kotoge came out as a big pink blob.

KING SHAMELESS CORNER
Takashi Sugiura has posted pictures of either what is coming out of his dog, or what his dog has left behind. On a pleasanter note, he was given gifts by fans after a small gathering at “Muscle Grill”, and said that as he was carrying a big plushie, he probably looked like a “Weird old man” getting on the train.

BROADCASTS
NOAH’s Korakuen Hall show of the 24th February will be broadcast on Samurai at 10pm (JST) on Samurai TV.

BOOK CORNER
The ongoing translation of Naomichi Marufuji’s “Heir To The Ark” can be found here

LINKS
HAYATA (Costume Research)
“Come to Noah” ~ interview with Naomichi Marufuji
The Green Guide to Muscle Grill
Takashi Sugiura mini interview ahead of the match with The Hooligans
Battlemen Recap (Noah, Wednesday February 13th 2019)
Noah’s Arkive Podcast (ITunes)

NOAH FROM THE VAULT (articles translated by Purodino)
YO-HEY “My turning point”


Let us know what you think on social media @theCHAIRSHOTcom and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
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