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Mitchell’s Lucha Underground Report! (8/8/18)

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Lucha Underground Season 4, “A Match Made in Heaven”

Lucha Underground’s biggest and baddest stables wage war in an Atomicos Match! If the Reptile Tribe wins, Johnny Mundo MUST become Kobra Moon’s slave!

 

Gifs can be found courtesy of http://frentique.tumblr.com/

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Trios Match: The White Rabbit Tribe VS ???; rescheduled as…
  • Sacrifice to the Gods: Mala Suerte VS Matanza Cueto; Matanza wins, Mala is sacrificed.
  • Joey Ryan & Jack Evans VS XO Lishus & Ivelisse; Jack & Joey win.
  • Gift of the Gods Championship: El Dragon Azteca Jr VS Mariposa; Azteca wins and retains the Gift of the Gods Championship.
  • Atomicos Match: The Worldwide Underground VS The Reptile Tribe; The Worldwide Underground wins, Johnny gets his wish.

PLAY BY PLAY

Antonio Cueto lets someone know “everything is ready.”

He’s planning yet another Sacrifice to the Gods for tonight. But then he sees Mariposa walking in. The monarch of the Moth Tribe finally meets the legendary father. Her father had so many stories about him, but they didn’t do the man justice. Mari never expected Antonio was so handsome. She always “fantasized about being with a Cueto, because it was forbidden.” But this isn’t about seduction. This is about the Gift of the Gods Championship. Antonio apologizes to the “young butterfly”, but she isn’t deserving. The Moths have a lot of money, and they always get what they want. She throws down big stacks, and waits for his response.

“Money is the ultimate aphrodisiac.” And Antonio can never say no to someone as beautiful and dangerous as her. She never takes no for an answer, either. She takes her leave, but will she be taking the Gift of the Gods title, too?

 

Trios Match: The White Rabbit Tribe VS ???

Before the Mad Hatter, Paul London, and his kooky cohorts begin this match, Antonio Cueto lets them know he’s proud they volunteered for this match. But however,  he’s changing this match up so that only one man competes. Make your decision now. Paul London steps up, and volunteers Mala Suerte. Mala is surprised, but London says that when he failed the tribe last week, he failed The White Rabbit. This is his punishment. But don’t worry, this is his chance for redemption. Antonio lets Mala know he’s been chosen, as the next Sacrifice to the Gods!!

Sacrifice to the Gods: Mala Suerte VS Matanza Cueto!

Talk about bad luck for Mr. Bad Luck himself. He looks all around, but here comes The Monster! Mala hits first with a wrecking ball dropkick. He puts Matanza in the corner and throws forearm after forearm! He even gives the demigod some Popeye rope-a-dope! Mala then goes to the far corner, and the Believers are rallying behind him. He stands up top, to then hop down and hippity-hop into a running dropkick! But it all does nothing to the Monster. Matanza runs Mala over with one headbutt! Matanza whips and hits WRATH OF THE GODS! Cover, Matanza wins!

Winner: Matanza Cueto, by pinfall

The Monster is 4-0 in these Sacrifice matches, and though Saltador begs for mercy, Paul London lets Matanza sacrifice Mala in a flash of lightning. London laughs though his trio is now just a duo. Will the White Rabbit be pleased with this outcome?

 

Joey Ryan & Jack Evans VS XO Lishus & Ivelisse!

This match is full of eccentricity and oozes aggression. And in the Sleazy One’s case, it oozes body oil… The Baddest Bitch in the Temple has had issue with the erotic egotist while the Dragonslayer has issue with the neon-colored newbie getting the upset victory in his debut. Can #Ivelishus defeat the Mouth & The Musk?

The bell rings and Jack starts against Ivelisse. She mocks his chit-chat as they tie up. Jack baits Ivelisse into a low grapple to then kick her stomach. He wrenches an arm but she reverses to a hammerlock. She ducks his elbow to give him a hammerlock STO! Jack kicks back but she catches it to stomp a hand. Jack comes back but she ducks the kick. He springboards but she gets under again. Ivelisse throws Jack with a huricanrana, and he scrambles to tag out. Joey Ryan comes in, puts the lollipop away, then runs at Ivelisse, only to get an arm-drag. Ivelisse puts Joey in her corner, for a swift chop! Tag to XO before another chop. Ivelisse feeds Joey to XO’s twerk attack! XO gives Joey ten whole booty bumps before pushing him away.

Believers fire up but so does Joey. There seem to be strange chemistry between these two. The fans sense it as they point out “Joey Likes It!” Joey wants XO to plant a big one right on the lips. XO obliges, with big basement dropkick! XO twerks into a moonsault, but Joey dodges! Joey tags in Jack, and Jack springboards in for a karate kick to XO! Jack puts XO in a corner for haymakers, then whips corner to corner. XO reverses, then handsprings in, for a SLAP! Jack is furious, but XO goes Matrix to dodge the clothesline. Then spiderwalks to creep Jack out. XO handspring kicks Jack down, covers, but Joey stomps it apart. Joey grabs a leg but is pushed away. Hot tag to Ivelisse!

Ivelisse rallies on Joey & Jack with forearms. She scorpion kicks Jack, then whips him to ropes. Jack rolls off her back, but she blocks his kick. She flips him back but he lands on his feet for a spinning roundhouse! Fans applaud, because they respect the ability. But then they boo because they hate his ego. Jack covers, TWO! Jack grows frustrated but fans rally for Ivelisse.

Tag to Joey, and he keeps Ivelisse away from XO. He puts her in an open corner, to grind his boot into her chin. She reaches for XO, but Joey keeps her away with a snapmare and a grind into the mat. She scrambles free but can’t get away from Joey. He puts on a chinlock as fans rally up again. She feeds off the energy and fights back with body shots. Joey pushes her but she ducks under his clothesline to then wheelbarrow DDT! Both of them are down but the fans are on Ivelisse’s side. Hot tags to Jack and XO! XO slides under Jack’s boot to give him a dropkick-flip and a back elbow. XO back kicks, front kicks, sweeps and split-legdrop! Cover but Joey breaks it again.

Ivelisse kicks Joey out, then helps XO. XO catapults Jack into a SUPERKICK, and then Jack falls back onto XO’s knees! She adds a switch kick, and dropkicks Joey back out. XO covers, TWO! XO and Ivelisse have a short argument, but Ivelisse goes after Joey again. He puts her on the apron to SUPERKICK her down! Joey runs into a heel kick from XO, but Jack lurks on the outside. XO twerks again, then hits the knee-sault. But Jack’s the legal partner, and he comes flying in with a springboard roundhouse! Jack shouts “It’s over!” as he puts XO in to a modified gogoplata, pulling XO’s throat into the shin of his leg! XO endures, but fades out. The ref calls it, Jack & Joey win!

Winners: Joey Ryan & Jack Evans, Jack by submission

But Jack won’t let go! The referee and even Joey tell Jack to stop, this is too much. Joey pries at Jack’s hold but Jack resists. Ivelisse comes in and stomps Jack out! XO is free, but the damage is done. Wanting to win is one thing, but Jack seems hellbent on making the flamboyant rookie suffer. Jack says it won’t be over until XO is dead! Will XO make a recovery? Or will the Dragonslayer soon be the Lishuslayer, too?

 

Gift of the Gods Championship: El Dragon Azteca Jr VS Mariposa!

The Heir to the Eagle Tribe had a long and winding road to his first Gift of the Gods creation match, mostly because Antonio Cueto kept making changes. But in the end, Azteca won out and now has the belt that promises a guaranteed title opportunity at THE Lucha Underground Championship. However, Azteca is putting a big challenge on himself, as he vows to retain this belt all the way to Ultima Lucha Quatro’s main event! The Moth Tribe’s own heiress wants that glory for herself, can she clip the young eagle’s wings before he ever takes flight?

Introductions are made and the belt is raised, but behind the referee’s back, Mari offers a handshake. Azteca takes it, but she kicks him in the balls! The referee is shocked, but the bell rings. Mari brings Azteca to a corner, and puts his leg on the second rope, to kick at the groin! The referee warns her not to get too close, but it’s too late for that. Azteca winces and writhes but Mari covers. TWO, but Mari keeps on him. She puts him in a corner but he turns it around. Azteca hits a discus clothesline, then runs in fro a big forearm. He slings her out and builds up speed for a shotgun dropkick! Cover, TWO! The Believers duel while Azteca brings Mari up. He runs, but into her Samoan Drop! Cover, TWO!

Mari grows frustrated with the ballsy Azteca, but she flaps her wings as she takes aim. She runs out, but he dodges her boot to give a boot! Azteca positions Mari, then climbs up as fans rally. He reaches the top rope, takes aim, for a 450 splash! Cover, TWO! Azteca can’t believe how close that was. He argues with the ref, but has to accept the call. Azteca drags Mari up by her pigtails, but she gets around, for a Vertabreaker! Cover, TWO!! Believers are loving this quick but intense match. Mari drags Azteca up, and tries for another. He spins out, wheelbarrow to victory roll, cross leg pin! Azteca wins!

Winner: El Dragon Azteca Jr, by pinfall; still Gift of the Gods Champion

The Eagle soars over the Moth and flies on towards the sun that is the Lucha Underground Championship! The Believers cheer him on, but can Azteca survive the gauntlet that is the remaining weeks until Ultima Lucha 4?

 

Atomicos Match: The Worldwide Underground VS The Reptile Tribe!

This faction warfare has escalated to a boiling point, and this is the blow-off! A deal was struck between the two leaders: If Johnny Mundo and his band of misfits win, the Queen of Snakes must grant him his heart’s desire; but if Kobra Moon and her brood of vipers win, Mundo must serve her the rest of his life. However, the Guru of Greatness and his Wera Loca Valkyrie went behind Kobra’s back by beheading Vibora, in the Reptile’s own lair! How can this be an Atomicos match when the Reptiles are without their Luchasaurus? What will Mundo’s wish be should his team win?

Kobra Moon speaks, knowing that Mundo was behind Vibora’s death. It was cold-blooded, but Kobra respects that. It further proves that he belongs with them! And Mundo surely thought this would give his team the advantage. But this Queen has many loyal subjects, and now we shall all meet her newest servant, “brought back from the dead with venom!” Witness the reborn, Jeremiah SNAKE!! Yes, Jeremiah Crane was buried alive in the Three Way to the Grave with Mil Muertes and Fenix. But now, he has comeback as Kobra Moon’s undead Death Machine! Does Worldwide Underground stand a chance now that they have to do things 4v4?

Mundo lets Kobra know he “digs” the last minute line-up change. He does the same thing, and tells Ricky that this is one job he’s not gonna do. The WWU needs someone they can trust to handle business. He has the night off, so why not go play with his doll or something. Ricky is a little hurt, but he accepts being benched. Mundo found himself someone he could count on, but Jack is too afraid of snakes. Mundo found someone who isn’t afraid but is also capable of cutting the heads off all these snakes. He introduces his new WWU member, Aerostar! Yes, the time-traveling, out-of-this-world luchador, as well as long-time friend and rival of Drago, joins the other side in hopes of freeing the firebreathing knight.

Lucha Underground returns from break and we finally begin this high-stakes 8-person tag. The WWU flanks the Reptiles on all sides, and the bell rings. Mundo gives the signal, and all eight luchadors crawl! Mundo goes after King Daga, Aero goes after Drago, the Darewolf against the zombie Crane, and of course, Wera Loca herself against The Snake Queen! Jeremiah throws PJ out but Taya throws Kobra. Kobra drags Taya out to join her but Taya tackles her in return. Aero has gotten Drago out of the way, so we truly start with Mundo and “Jeremiah Snake.” They brawl with furious forearms, but Snake knees low. Mundo reverses the whip to then hit the Flying Chuck! The brawl continues on the outside while Mundo slaps Snake with his headband. Mundo runs, but Snake pursues. They go back and forth with dodging and chasing, but Snake waits to lariat Mundo down!

Mundo rolls out, but Snake keeps on him from the apron with a boot! Aero gets in the ring and dropkicks Snake down. Aero then builds speed, to FLY onto everyone! The Believers are fired up, but Drago and Daga regroup in the ring. Drago builds speed and Daga gives him a boost, Drago corkscrews onto everyone! Taya has gotten away and dropkicks Daga out. Kobra slithers around while Taya climbs up top. Taya LEAPS and again everyone is bowled over. Kobra is the only one safe. She lurks while Mundo gets on the apron. He wants to take flight, but Snake returns to triangle dropkick at him. Mundo dodges, but a roundhouse rocks him. Kobra gets going, she uses Snake for the wheelbarrow boost to then bulldog Mundo onto everyone else! Snake goes out and drags Mundo up while The Believers lose their minds.

Snake brings Mundo around while the others brawl. He spits on his hand, tastes it again, then CHOPS Mundo in the chest. The brawl follows them and the Reptiles stack the WWU on chairs. Snake gets the fans fired up, and Kobra lets out a primal scream with him. Snake goes all the way around the ring, building up speed, to BOWL WWU OVER! It’s a perfect strike, and the Believers are thunderous! Kobra coordinates the team, and Daga puts Taya in the ring. Snake slithers over as she cowers against ropes. But the Believers give her courage, and the Crazy Blonde give a dirty bird to the undead Snake. So he bites it!! She slaps him off, then slaps him again. Taya rocks him with elbows, but runs into the boot! The teams finally go to their corners as Taya fights back.

Snake whips but she reverses into a German Suplex! Taya crawls for the WWU corner, hot tag to PJ Black! The Darewolf springboards onto Snake then blasts the Reptile’s corner. He runs back at Snake, dodges and runs him over. He rallies with shoulders, handsprings and arm-drags Snake down. PJ sweeps the legs, double stomps the back, then double flexes. He bucks Snake off the waistlock to rock him with a heel kick! Cover, but Drago breaks it. PJ tags out to Mundo, and they both attack Drago. Double whip and elbows to snapmare. They run and give a boot sandwich to Drago, then bow and high-five. Snake returns, they double whip him. Snake dropkicks them down, then fires up. He fireman’s carry on Mundo but Mundo shoves him into Kobra! Mundo calf kicks Snake down, then springboards to kick Daga down.

The Believers fire up as Mundo brings Snake up. Moonlight Drive hits, but he’s not done there. He brings Snake up, but Snake rakes his eyes! Snake tags to Drago, who then tags to Kobra, and Snake helps rocket launch Kobra at Mundo! Mundo catches her, but Drago and Snake come in to kick Mundo down! But Mundo rolls through, still holding on to Kobra! They SUPERKICK him now, and they ALL cover, TWO!! Mundo sits up to fight back on all three Reptiles! He fires off with haymakers and forearms, then runs, into a TRIPLE Boot! Drago runs, tilt-o-whirl DDT! Cover, but the WWU break it up. PJ and Taya throw Snake and Kobra out, then join them for another brawl.

Daga returns, but so does Aero. While the King helps his Queen, the astronaut luchador goes to his friend. Aero wants Drago to see this, as he springboard corkscrews onto the cluster! They all go down, leaving the knight from Infra Mundo alone with Johnny Mundo. Mundo hits first, but Drago slips out of Moonlight Drive to SUPERKICK. Dragon runs into a super punch, but gives one back. They run, Drago springboards, Dragon’s Lair but Mundo slips out for a Shining Wizard! Mundo has Drago down, Fin Del Mundo! Cover, WWU wins!

Winners: The Worldwide Underground, Johnny Mundo by pinfall

Mundo has won for his team, and wins a wish to be granted by Kobra Moon. Before Kobra can slither away, he brings up their deal. Mundo knows a certain someone could use a wish, too. Taya thinks he means her, but he actually means “the man who stepped up tonight” for his team. His wish is for Aerostar to get his wish. Kobra, you MUST free Drago! Kobra wants anything but that, but a deal is a deal. Taya herself is shocked, but “a deal is a deal”! “Set Him Free! Set Him Free!” Drago is confused, but Aero is thankful that Mundo gave him his friend back. Aero unlocks the collar around Drago’s neck, and leads him away. Will it be an easy road back from Kobra’s brainwashing?

However, Taya wants an explanation. How could Johnny be such an idiot? He chose to help Aerostar? This was for nothing now! Taya is almost in tears, but Mundo explains back. Kobra could not grant Mundo’s wish. Only Taya can. What? Mundo has PJ step up, and PJ makes sure he still has it. Oh it was down his pants. But is that…? Yes! It’s a ring! An engagement ring! The Believers give a standing ovation as Mundo kneels. “Taya, will you marry me?” What will Ms. Eliza– er, Taya, say to Macho Mundo? The Believers hope it’s “SI! SI!” Taya is again in tears, but for a good reason now. She says yes!! Ooooh Yeeeah~! Mundo slips the ring on Taya’s finger, and it’s official with a kiss. This is a happy ending for all! Who’s ready to RSVP to the wedding of the future Mr. & Mrs. Slam Town?

 

But meanwhile, backstage…

Ricky tells Rosa he has a wish, too. “That Taya and Johnny are together until death do them part.” Rosa likes the sound of that. What wicked wedding gift does Ricky have planned for them?

 


 

My Thoughts:

A great little episode of Lucha Underground right here, with lots of nice twists and turns for the fun of the entire audience. The story of the Rabbit Tribe takes an even darker turn as London seems to be corrupted by THE White Rabbit’s blood lust. No more Mala Suerte, but does that mean White Rabbit and his caged up dark Mascarita will be joining the fight? The tag team match was another dark development for Jack Evans and XO Lishus. XO has been the fun-loving Face but I wonder if he’d come back slightly more aggressive. Dragon Azteca and Mariposa do great in their match, for how short it felt. I’m still waiting for Azteca’s self-imposed challenge runs into the Sacrifice to the Gods streak to see which one ends first. Until then, Azteca should face everyone possible to really build himself up.

Then all that stuff in the Atomicos was great. The surprises were nice, but Lucha Underground upped how cheesy they are with zombie Crane. Though, it was actually great, because Sami Callihan’s too great to give up. And I kinda hope this counts as a Face Turn for the WWU outside of Jack and Ricky. Not only does Mundo do the right thing in freeing Drago, Mundo and Taya have made such a great couple since first being in Lucha Underground together, and the fans really got behind that marriage proposal moment. But as always in pro-wrestling, I expect the Reptiles to want revenge during the wedding.

My Score: 8/10


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