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Mitchell’s WWE Monday Night Raw Report! (8/13/18)

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This Raw before the Slam of Summer, we shall see the Red Roster’s Tag Team titles DEFENDED between The B Team, The Revival and THE DELETERS OF WORLDS!

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Ember Moon w/ Ronda Rousey VS Alexa Bliss w/ Alicia Fox & security; Ember wins, by disqualification.
  • Baron Corbin VS Tyler Breeze; Corbin wins.
  • 2v1 Handicap: Kevin Owens & Jinder Mahal w/ Sunil Singh VS Finn Balor; rescheduled as…
  • Kevin Owens & Jinder Mahal w/ Sunil Singh VS Finn Balor & Braun Strowman; Finn & Strowman win.
  • Bobby Lashley VS Ricky Roberts; no contest.
  • Raw Tag Team Championship Triple Threat: The B-Team VS The Revival VS The Deleters of Worlds; The B Team wins and retains the Raw Tag Team Championships.
  • Six Man Tag: The Authors of Pain & Mojo Rawley VS Titus Worldwide & Bobby Roode; Roode & Titus Worldwide win.
  • Sasha Banks w/ Bayley VS Ruby Riott w/ The Riott Squad; Ruby wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Rowdy Ronda Rousey heads to the ring!

The Baddest Woman on the Planet is ready for Summerslam, and the first woman of commentary, Renee Young, is here tonight, too. The fans in Greensboro, North Carolina, give her a standing ovation. Ronda brings up the tragedy of losing Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart, father to Natalya. “Any loss is heartbreaking, but to lose a father,” a pillar of strength in a hostile world, “we have to face the fact that our fathers have been raising us to be the pillars of strength for our families when they’re gone.” Ronda encourages Natayla to stay strong. Everyone in the WWE loves Natty, including the WWE Universe. Natty was the first person to welcome Ronda. Ronda will be the first to defend her. Alexa Bliss cheated to win over Natty time and again. “But this Sunday at Summerslam”, Ronda vows to be the NEW Raw Women’s Champion!

And speaking of beating Alexa, welcome the new opponent for her tonight, Ember Moon! Yes, the Prophecy of Flame steps up to take the Queen of Hart’s place. The War Goddess is ready for this big opportunity against The Goddess, but speaking of, here she comes! She has Crazy Like a Fox with her as she runs down Ronda making friends. Ronda will need her friends, because her good times are at an end. Alexa is tired of the people Ronda kisses up to. Don’t boo, you’re the bandwagoners saying Alexa’s match is a “foregone conclusion.” But Ronda’s had three matches while Alexa has had five title reigns. Alexa vows to prove Ronda is the over-hyped rookie she is. Summerslam won’t be a triumph but a humiliation. Alexa is also sick and tired of hearing about Ronda, Ember, and those dumb looks on their faces. Alexa mocks Ronda’s mean face.

The champ is also sick of being the only woman not protected. Roman Reigns gets kicked out to protect a main event, but Ronda can sit ringside to do the same. They have six days, so Alexa is taking no chances. She went to the only fair authority figure, Constable Corbin. The Constable agrees to personal security! Alexa’s reinforcements come out as Alexa warns Ronda to be careful around her highly-trained task force. Ronda wouldn’t dare do anything during a match, but is this just another way for Alexa to get away with Goddess knows what?

 

Ember Moon w/ Ronda Rousey VS Alexa Bliss w/ Alicia Fox & security!

The War Goddess stands on one side of the human wall while Alexa stands on the other. Ronda goes to be in Ember’s corner, but that’s when Alexa strikes! She hits both Ronda and Ember, then laughs at her opponents. Ronda gets mad, but the security guards protect Alexa. The referee warns Ronda, but Ronda goes after the guards! She throws three of them out, the fourth one just runs away. Alicia is Alexa’s last line of defense, but that doesn’t work either! Rowdy Ronda has control of the ring, but the battle of goddesses still has to happen. Can Ronda keep her cool while so close to her prey?

Raw returns and ALexa hides behind the referee. She then sucker kicks Ember and wrenches the arm. Ember rolls and reverses to flip Alexa. Ember wrenches the arm in a grounded hammerlock, but Alexa reaches up for headscissors. Alexa brings Ember to the mat, but fans rally up for Ember. Ember pops out then arm-drags Alexa around. She wrenches Alexa’s arm while we go picture in picture. Alexa stands up and reverses to a headlock. Ember endures, even as Alexa grinds harder. Ember tries but can’t power out at first. She gets out the second time, then runs Alexa over with a shoulder. She flips Alexa up but Alexa trips Ember to slap her. Alexa runs, but into a headscissor! Ember sweeps the leg, then runs to sliding shot Alexa. Cover, TWO!

Ronda keeps Ember focused while Alexa rolls out of the ring. Alexa takes her time catching her breath, but sees Ronda on the other side. Ember hits Alexa with a baseball slide dropkick! Ember puts Alexa into the ring, but Alexa scrambles away. Alexa grabs ropes and shoves Ember away. Ember comes back to snapmare hard into a chinlock. Alexa endures the grind but pulls hair. Ember pulls hair back, but Alexa pries her way out to wring Ember’s arm. Alexa drags Ember up and dropkicks her back. Ronda and fans rally up for the War Goddess, and she enziguris Alexa out of the ring. Alexa staggers away and Ronda glares on while we go to break.

Raw returns and Alexa kicks Ember in the face. Ember rolls Alexa, TWO, and Alexa turns the swinging neckbreaker into a slam. Alexa adds Insult2Injury, then covers, TWO! Alexa puts Ember in a chinlock but Ronda still coaches Ember up. Ember endures the grind, as well as Alexa’s mocking. She stands up as Ronda rallies the fans. Ember jawbreakers out but Alexa runs her over. Cover, TWO, and it’s back to the chinlock. Alexa grins as she grinds down the other Raw rookie. Fans rally for Ember but Alexa laughs as she tells Ronda this will be her Summerslam. But Ember gets up and arm-drags Alexa off. Ember rolls her, TWO! Alexa dropkicks Ember down and covers, TWO! She tries again, TWO. Another, TWO! Ember makes it her own, TWO, and Alexa rocks Ember with a right.

Alexa mocks Ronda more, then toys with Ember. Ember fires up, and roars! Ember rallies with rights and kicks, and knocks Alexa down with an enziguri! She hits a back elbow, then climbs up. Alexa stops her, but ends up in a tornado suplex! Cover, TWO! Alicia gets on the apron, but Ronda yanks her off! Ronda sends Alicia into barriers, but Alexa attacks Ronda! Alexa puts Ronda into barriers, then goes back to Ember. She brings Ember up, but Ember powers out for a pop-up gutbuster! Ember climbs, ECLIPSE!! Cover, but Alicia breaks the pin.

Winner: Ember Moon, by disqualification

Alicia goes after Ember, and boots her down. But Ronda returns, and throws Alicia! And again! AND AGAIN! Alicia retreats and regroups with Alexa. Ronda is all riled up, will Alexa regret ever talking down to her?

 

Raw reviews the fallout between Beast and Advocate.

When Paul Heyman told everyone Brock Lesnar refused to make his obligated appearance, Kurt Angle declared Lesnar the “worst Universal Champion of all time.” Heyman agreed, but it was a last ditch effort to save himself. Angle was moments from getting rid of both Heyman and Lesnar, but Lesnar made his appearance. Lesnar then asked if Angle and Corbin had problems with him. Before they could answer, Lesnar would F5 Angle! Corbin backed down to the scarier man, but then Lesnar went after Heyman! Lesnar wanted Heyman to get a good look at Angle, but he also gave Heyman a good look at the Tyrant he really was.

Renee Young relates the interview with Heyman last week. Heyman said that this Lesnar would be truly unstoppable. But then, after cameras cut away, he actually suggested there was one way for Roman Reigns to survive, with a simple “Unless…” But the Advocate wouldn’t finish his thought. He would leave, leaving us all wondering, “Unless what?” Heyman keeps things close to the vest, but can The Big Dog figure out the Beast’s weakness on his own?

 

Angle and Corbin argue.

Angle doesn’t appreciate Corbin going over his head again. Who cares what Angle wants? Stephanie approved these matches, so these matches are going to happen. But then Dolph Ziggler & Drew McIntyre appear. Where’s Seth Rollins? Rollins had a PR tour and travel issues, but he will be here for the contract signing. Ziggler & McIntyre sure hope so. But for now, they’ll have to wait for the Kingslayer’s arrival. Is this going to be another rough night for the Raw GM?

 

Baron Corbin VS Tyler Breeze!

The Lone Wolf went to Stephanie McMahon to make this match happen, but without even telling Angle what he’s up to. Just days before his grudge rematch with Finn Balor, will this abuse of power come back to bite Corbin?

Prince Pretty is his “hand-picked” opponent, but given how Corbin has treated shorter, lighter superstars, is he just picking on him? The bell rings, and ties up with Tyler. He pushes Tyler to a corner, but then Tyler wrenches his arm. Corbin wrenches back but Tyler pushes him away. Corbin comes back with a big back elbow, then puts Tyler in a half-nelson. Fans boo Corbin while Tyler endures. Corbin grins as he trash talks the Fashion Police officer, but Tyler stands back up. Corbin throws him to ropes, but Tyler kicks back! Tyler runs and dropkicks Corbin out of the ring! Corbin catches Tyler off the apron, to throw him into the barriers! Corbin mockingly applauds, then drags Tyler up and into the ring. Fans rally for Tyler, but Corbin stomps him out. Corbin rocks Tyler while fans duel, “Let’s go Corbin!” VS “Corbin sucks!”

Corbin soaks in the heat, then stomps Tyler out. Fans boo and jeer while he trash talks them back. Corbin elbows Tyler in the face, then puts him back in the half-nelson. He thrashes Tyler around with the chinbar added. Tyler endures and stands up again, only for Corbin to throw him down. Fans continue to boo Corbin, but Corbin just embraces it. But Tyler kicks him back from the mat, then clothesilens him out! Tyler then slingshots but misses completely. Corbin picks Tyler up, but Tyler slips out to enziguri Corbin back! Corbin gets in the ring, Tyler hurries after. Tyler shoulders in, then slingshots up and over. He runs, but into DEEP SIX! COver, Corbin wins!

Winner: Baron Corbin, by pinfall

The Lone Wolf finishes his appetizer, but will he be smiling when he gets the Extraordinary Finn for his main course?

Corbin speaks.

“Wow, I’m good!” That was just a small taste of what he’ll do to Finn at Summerslam. But now it’s Finn’s turn to show us what he can do. His opponent: The Modern Day Maharaja, Jinder Mahal! Mahal is a proxy for Corbin in height and weight, will Corbin’s plan of showing size matters work out? Corbin knows Finn fancies himself as a star, so perhaps he’ll be able to handle two? Let’s make it a Handicap Match, with another opponent, and a friend of Corbin’s: Kevin Owens! The Prizefighter is getting himself a warm-up, too, as he has Braun Strowman and the Money in the Bank briefcase ahead of him in Brooklyn. Can Finn prove he’s Extraordinary tonight?

 

2v1 Handicap: Kevin Owens & Jinder Mahal w/ Sunil Singh VS Finn Balor!

“The Little Engine That Can’t” has a tall task ahead of him, but he has the Greensboro branch of Balor Club on his side! He grins at Corbin, but here comes Angle! Corbin isn’t happy as angle gets the classic ovation of “You Suck!” Angle explains that while Stephanie approved this match, Angle can still make his own matches. He’s not cancelling but adding to this match to make it a 2v2 tag match! Finn’s partner: BRAUN!!

Kevin Owens & Jinder Mahal w/ Sunil Singh VS Finn Balor & Braun Strowman!

Kevin may want to get his hands on the MITB briefcase, but he and Mahal are gonna #GetTheseHands first! And Greensboro joins in the Monster’s mantra as Strowman dares either opponent to step up. The bell rings and Finn starts against Mahal. They tie up, and Mahal puts Finn in a corner. Mahal shows a punch, but keeps his inner peace as he honors the break. Mahal gets a waistlock then wristlock, and brings Finn to a knee. Finn rolls and reverses, but Mahal reverses back. Mahal puts his weight on Finn, but Finn kips up. Mahal knees Finn low, then brings Finn back down. Finn endures the headlock, they stand back up, and Finn powers out. Mahal runs him over, then embraces the heat. Things speed up, sunset flip and Finn dropkicks! Finn steadies himself, but Mahal powers him to the corner.

Kevin tags in and they mug Finn in the corner. Kevin stomps away, then rams knees into Finn’s back. He puts Finn in an armlock, but fans rally up for Finn. Finn reaches but Kevin brings him back down to the mat. Kevin stomps Finn, but Finn pushes against Kevin. Kevin knees low, then whips Finn to the corner. he mugs Finn more, then tags Mahal. Mahal keeps on Finn, then snapmares him for knees. Mahal drags Finn back and tags Kevin. They split the wishbone, and Finn crawls to a corner. Kevin whips Finn, but Finn boots back. Finn dodges, then tags Strowman! Kevin quickly tags Mahal, and Mahal gets blasted! Kevin runs away, Strowman puts Mahal in the ring. Mahal wants mercy, but Strowman wo’t give it. Mahal unleasehs, but gets chopped down! Strowman takes aim and kicks Mahal in the ribs.

Strowman puts Mahal in a corner, and whips him corner to corner. Then he runs in for a big corner splash. He puts Mahal down, then spots Kevin. Kevin cowers away, so Strowman headbutts and runs Mahal over. He then clubs Mahal down with one hand! Strowman tags Finn, and he becomes Strowman’s weapon for the scoop slam senton! Cover, TWO! Finn brings Mahal up, gets a jawbreaker but gives a dropkick! Finn builds speed, but Kevin trips him up. Strowman chases Kevin off! Kevin regroup with Mahal, Finn FLIES on them both! The Man and the Monster are in control while we go to break.

Raw returns and Finn fights his way out of the half-nelson. Mahal brings him back down, and puts more weight on him. Finn gets up again and fights with forearms. Mahal shoves and kicks Finn down, then tags in Kevin. Mahal anchors Finn while Kevin drops an elbow. Kevin drops more elbows, then rains down rights. Kevin taunts Strowman, then goes back to Finn with a knee and chinlock. Finn endures the bend and stretch while Strowman chomps at the bit. We go picture in picture while Finn fights out again. Kevin knees lo, but his back senton gets knees! Hot tag to Mahal, who denies Finn a tag to Strowman. Mahal runs and drops knees, cover, ONE. Mahal puts Finn back in a half nelson, but Finn endures. Finn gets out but Mahal shoves him back. Finn fights his way out, but his tag is denied again.

Mahal puts him in a corner, Finn boots him away. Finn throws Mahal out, then crawls for Strowman! Mahal gets to Kevin to tag, and Kevin stops Finn. Finn fires off forearms on Kevin, but Kevin whips him. Slingblade! Hot tags to Mahal AND Strowman! The Monster rallies on Mahal with shoulders, then hits Kevin, too. Fans are all fired up as Strowman runs Sunil AND Kevin over! He then returns, but misses the buckles. Mahal hits him with a knee, but then runs into a scoop MONSTER SLAM! Strowman covers, Strowman & Finn win!

Winners: Finn Balor & Braun Strowman, Strowman pinning

The Monster in the Bank carries the Extraordinary Man through this tall task, but he has his own challenge ahead of him. Can Strowman keep from losing in any way so that he doesn’t lose his briefcase to Kevin? Speaking of Kevin, Strowman chases him to the backstage area! Corbin strikes with End of Days on Finn! Fans boo and jeer, but Corbin gets the last laugh. Will he get one more over on Finn in Brooklyn?

 

Angle talks with Stephanie on the phone.

Ziggler & McIntyre check in on Rollins’ status. Is Rollins scared after that beating from last week? Though it’s done wonders for them! If Rollins doesn’t show up to sign, there’s no Intercontinental Championship match. What a shame. Angle promises Rollins will be here. Fine, but Ziggler wants to double check that contract to make sure Angle didn’t let something fall through the cracks. Wait they misspelled Ziggler. What? Gotcha! They leave, but will Rollins arrive in time?

 

“Ladies and Gentlemen”, Ricky Roberts!

Greensboro’s own cowboy says his favorite musician in the entire world is THE Elias! He may not be as good as the Drifter, but one day he will. He’ll be so good, he’ll be in the Country Music Hall of Fame. And when that day comes, Elias himself will come to Ricky and tell him, “Hello, I am Elias.” The Drifter himself is here! And Elias wonders what he’s looking at. Get his stool. A staffer sets the stool out for Elias to sit on. Elias doesn’t understand what’s going on, but there’s only one Drifter and you’re looking at him. But Elias knows Ricky’s a fan, so is he big enough to go to WWE Shop to buy a copy of Walk With Elias/What Would Elias Do? bracelet? Just $5! Is he that big of a fan? Ricky nods “Yes”, so Elias wants Ricky to humiliate Bobby Lashley.

Elias wants the WWE Universe to understand how insane his life has been. He’s sold out Madison Square Garden, he’s got a hit album at the top of the charts, and this Saturday, he’ll have a concert in the Gramercy Theatre. Then Summerslam will be his greatest performance yet, because of the universal truth that WWE really stands for “Walk With Elias!” Elias has a song for us tonight, and admits he’s a harsh critic of the public. He only speaks the truth, and says Tar Heels are a strong people. They’re a resilient people. Because it must take “unmatched strength” to wake up here knowing they live in a pile of garbage. But before he can run down the Tar Heels more, Elias is interrupted by Bobby Lashley!

Bobby Lashley VS Ricky Roberts!

The Alpha Male takes on the would-be cross between Elias and the Honky Tonk Man. This guy needs a new shtick, WWE already has a no-talent clown who claims to play guitar. Ricky bashes his guitar on Bobby, and that only pisses Bobby off! Bobby whips Ricky, into a SPINEBUSTER! Ricky’s feeling the Bobby Lashley Blues, but will Elias be feeling the same very soon?

 

The B Team crunches the numbers.

They have a triple threat coming, but Curt Axel wants Bo to “B Positive.” It’s hard to when their odds are lower than usual. But their odds are always low. Yes, but against two teams at the same time, this is a 33.3333% chance of winning! Bo checked, double checked, and even got mathematicians to help. They’re in trouble. Axel says math didn’t get them where they are now, teamwork did! The B Teamwork has given them the best run of their lives, so it’s time to run for their lives! Can Bo & Axel keep themselves from B-ing DELETED!?

Raw Tag Team Championship Triple Threat: The B-Team VS The Revival VS The Deleters of Worlds!

In a match of three teams, only one team may hold the Championships of the Raw Tag Team Division! WOKEN Hardy & Bray Wyatt wish to bring the titles back to their Yin & Yang while the #TopGuys want to #SAYYEAH to their first main roster reign. With these teams closing in, can Bo Dallas & Curt Axel hope to still B champions after this?

Raw returns as The Revival make their entrance. The “undefeated” champions make their entrance, we have our introductions and the belts are raised. Per triple threat tag rules, two men start, and that’s Dash Wilder against Bo Dallas. They tie up, Bo rolls Dash, TWO. Dash puts Bo in his corner, Scott Dawson tags in and they mug Bo. Dawson puts Bo in the open corner and chops hard! Bo is reeling but Dawson is on him with a snap suplex. Cover, ONE, but Dawson is on Bo with a handful of hair. He brings Bo over, tags to Dash, but Bo fights back! The numbers are too much, but Bo elbows Dash down from the whip. Hardy tags in and rallies on Dash. He gives Dash DELETE DELETE buckle bumps! Hardy throws off his shirt, then DELETES Dash with a corner clothesline.

Dash pushes out of the bulldog, but gets the Side Effect! Cover, TWO! Hardy hits Dash with a rope attack, then hops up to give Dash a flying elbow. Hardy chants “DELETE! DELETE!” with the fans, but Dawson tags in. Dash grabs hardy, Hart Attack from The Revival to honor The Anvil. Cover, TWO, but Dawson keeps on Hardy at the ropes. The referee backs him off, but Dawson comes back to chop and club Hardy down. Dawson brings Hardy up and whips him to the corner. Hardy boots back, but gets clobbered down. Tag to Dash for the leg drop weapon. Cover, TWO, and we go to break.

Raw returns, and Dash has Hardy in an armlock. Fans rally and Hardy fights his way back. He elbows Dash at the ropes, and hits a headlock drop! Dawson tags in to intercept, but gets tossed aside! Wyatt tags in and rallies on Dawson, Body Check! Fans fire up with Wyatt as he corner splashes and urenages Dawson. Then one for Dash! Wyatt sees Bo come in, that’s three urenage! Axel gest in and denies a fourth, but then he ends up in buckles. Wyatt grabs Axel, Dawson leaps for a sunset flip on Wyatt, causing Wyatt to throw Axel with a German Suplex! TWO, and Wyatt rocks Dawson. Dash shoves Wyatt out, then builds speed to DIVE! Into an APRON Urenage! But then Bo flies and hits Wyatt!

Everyone but Hardy is down, but Hardy isn’t going to be left out. Fans rally with “DELETE! DELETE!” and he climbs up. Dawson returns to stop him, then climbs up to join him. The others gather nearby, Hardy SUPERPLEXES Dawson onto them! All six men are down but fans are sure “This is Awesome!” The referee can’t count anyone out, but he makes sure they all return into the ring. Wyatt, Hardy and Dawson are up first. Wyatt goes after Dawson and they go into the ring. Hardy follows, but has to take care of Bo first. Wyatt chops Dawson, but Axel tags in. Dawson and Dash get caught but fight out. SHATTER MACHINE! But Axel is legal and throws Dawson out! Cover, B Team wins!!

Winners: The B Team, Axel pinning; still the Raw Tag Team Champions

The “undefeated” B Team keep rolling as they choose the right time to strike. They have the belts this close to Summerslam, when will their Cinderella story end?

 

The B Team celebrate.

They pass by Roman Reigns and promise him and everyone, don’t sleep on the B Team! Roman has his own title hunt to worry about, and he heads to the ring after the break.

 

Ziggler & McIntyre go back to Angle.

The contract proves Angle plays favorites. Ziggler points out a particular section that Rollins gets a corner man. Yes, because Ziggler has McIntyre. They could take it out, but that means McIntyre would be banned from ringside. Ziggler accepts the terms, but he just “hopes” Rollins shows.

 

Roman Reigns heads to the ring!

Greensboro welcomes The Big Dog with the standard mixed reaction, but as usual, he’s not bothered by it at all. That’s because Roman has one more chance, and perhaps his last chance, at defeating The Beast. The Conqueror has become The Tyrant, but that only makes Roman more resolute. Roman speaks, “Leave this place better than I found it.” That’s what Roman tells himself every time, but the truth is, he can’t do it with Lesnar still here. Therefore, Lesnar needs to leave! Fans like the sound of that. Roman is sick of Lesnar from talking to hearing about him, “so it ends this Sunday at Summerslam!” And Roman finally gets his Universal Championship, to send Lesnar back to the UFC to find his head stuck up Dana White’s ass.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, my name is Paul Heyman.” And not to copy SmackDown, “It’s a New Day, Yes it Is!” But also, to lock something else down, the Usos are the future of WWE’s Tag Team Division. And the other future of a division is none other than the #1 contender, Roman Reigns! Roman isn’t sure what to make of this. He welcomes the former Advocate to the Beast into the ring to see what Heyman’s up to next. Heyman says this is Roman’s week. Why wait until Sunday to make history? Roman can make history right here and right now.

If Roman saw that interview footage, he knows Heyman Roman can’t defeat Lesnar “unless”. And that “unless” is having Heyman tell you Lesnar’s “dirty big secrets.” Heyman can do that for him. Roman thinks he can beat Brock, but with Heyman, Roman will know he can win. That’s not a prediction, that’s a spoiler! Heyman offers his hand, fans want Roman to take it, but Roman says Heyman doesn’t understand. Roman knows the plan, because he won in Saudi Arabia. Lesnar wouldn’t have gotten out the cage without Roman spearing him through it. And it would’ve ended much sooner if Heyman didn’t interfere. “Guilty as charged.” Heyman has no excuses, but hopefully the sins of this father won’t be visited on his children.

But that’s the past, Heyman talks about the future! Heyman sees next week, Raw after Roman slays the Beast, the two of them side-by-side and Heyman introduces himself to say he’s the Advocate to the “reigning, defending, undisputed Universal Heavyweight Champion, ROMAN! REIGNS!!” Fans still seem okay with that, but Roman still doesn’t. He knows Heyman is trying, but it’s not good enough. Heyman will understand better than anyone, Roman was groomed for this. His father taught him how to swim with the sharks, and how to recognize those who are drowning. Heyman is drowning, and not worth saving. “Good luck on your future endeavors.”

Heyman seems a bit beside himself, but admits Roman is right. He’s drowning with knowledge learning from his teenage years, riding with Afa & Sika. Heyman says Sika taught Heyman something he teaches all his family. Roman learned it in Samoan, and Heyman repeats it in Samoan. Roman seems to understand, but is still confused. Heyman wants to make this simple. He presents an Agreement in Principle. He wants Roman to look it over, then think it over, and answer him at Summerslam. Roman takes a look at it now, but then Heyman maces Roman!! Roman is reeling and gagging from the intense pepper spray, while Heyman storms off. Why, Heyman, Why!? This is why: BROCK LESNAR IS HERE!! The Beast has a blinded Big Dog on a silver platter, and tees off with knees!

Roman does all he can to cover up but it doesn’t matter, Lesnar gets him down on the mat. Lesnar looms over Roman, and puts him in a guillotine choke! Roman can’t see, and now he can’t breathe! Heyman holds onto the Universal Championship, his master plan having worked perfectly. Lesnar lets Roman go, because Roman is out cold. Greensboro is a thunderous mix of cheers and jeers as Lesnar takes his belt back. The Beast and Advocate are ruthless as ever, because Lesnar goes back for more! Lesnar waits as Roman slowly sits up, and then picks him up, for the F5!! Fans want that “One More Time!” but Lesnar has had his fill for the night. Is Lesnar once again guaranteed to retain? Or will Roman recover and harness his rage to finally rip the belt from The Beast’s hands?

 

Six Man Tag: The Authors of Pain & Mojo Rawley VS Titus Worldwide & Bobby Roode!

Akam & Rezar have #KillerInstinct just like the former Hype Man, while The Real Deal and his rising star feel it’d be GLORIOUS to team with the former US Champion. As these two rivalries fuse in one match, which side will come out with momentum towards Summerslam?

Akam and Apollo Crews start, and Akam puts the star in a corner to then whip him corner to corner. Apollo goes up and over to then dropkick Akam. He wrenches an arm but Akam forearms Apollo down. Akam puts on a headlock, Rezar tags in, Apollo is fed to a boot. Rezar covers, TWO, but he keeps on Apollo with a neck wrench. We go picture in picture while Apollo endures. Apollo gets up but Rezar thros him down. Rezar trwash talks, then tasg in Akam. The AoP combine for an atomic drop and roundhouse. Cover, TWO, but Akam keeps on Apollo with another neck wrench. We go single picture as fans rally for Apollo. Apollo is put in a corner, but he dodges Akam to then enziguri him down. Hot tag to Mojo, and he blasts Titus down!

Mojo drags Apollo up and backs uplexes, but Apollo slips out to tag in Roode! Roode fires off on Mojo, then climbs up for a flying clothesline. He hits Rezar, too, then corner clotheslines Mojo. he whips but Mojo reverses. Mojo runs into a boot, then a GLORIOUS Blockbuster! Cover, but Rezar breaks it. Titus collides and clotheslines Rezar out, but Mojo hits him from behind. Mojo turns around, GLORIOUS DDT! Cover, Roode & Titus Worldwide win!

Winners: Roode & Titus Worldwide, Roode pinning

Is this the begging of a GLORIOUS new signing to Titus Brand? Or will the AoP rewrite the ending so that they conquer the veteran team?

 

Roman Reigns gets his eyes cleaned.

The Big Dog’s eyeballs are burning, but the medics quickly work to flush the pepper spray out. Will Roman be in any shape to even leave on his own?

 

WWE and Raw pay tribute to the late Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart.

The WWE Universe and all of the wrestling world is saddened by this sudden loss. He started as a power lifter, but then got Stu Hart’s attention. Jim trained at the Dungeon, and then married Ellie Hart to become part of the family. Then came the founding of the Hart Foundation, with Bret Hart as his partner. Bret’s technique and Jim’s power helped them dominate the Tag Team Division and connect with the fans. Bret confirms Jim was just as fiery as his on-air persona. Jim had pride in his own accomplishments, but has even more pride in his daughter, Natalya. Ronda gave her support to Natty earlier, but may the entire Neidhart family be supported by our thoughts and prayers.

 

Sasha Banks w/ Bayley VS Ruby Riott w/ The Riott Squad!

The Boss & Hug Connection looked to beat Sarah Logan & Liv Morgan again last week, but the Squad Leader made a surprise return! Ruby helped her team win, but is she ready for #BossTime in her return to in-ring action?

Raw returns as the Squad makes its entrance. We see their video message to the “best friends”. It’s easy to get along when things are going right, but the Squad wants to see if that bond withstands a Riott. The bell rings and Sasha ties up with Ruby. They go around and Sasha wrenches but Ruby throws a strong forearm. Ruby taunts Sasha, but runs into a hip toss. Sasha runs but Sarah swipes at her. Sasha still rolls Ruby up, ONE, but she gets an armlock. Sarah & Liv coach Ruby up, and Ruby grabs hair. Sasha wrenches to get her to stop, but Ruby grits her teeth. They stand up and Ruby fights with body shots. She whips Sasha but Sasha throws her to ropes. Ruby rolls Sasha up, TWO, and Bank Statement is on! Ruby scrambles and gets a ropebreak.

Sasha lets Ruby go, and Ruby rolls out. Sasha runs, but misses her baseball slide. Ruby’s kick is blocked, Sasha gives her a knee. The Squad distracts Sasha, and Ruby yanks her into steps. Then Ruby Mule Kicks the steps while Sasha’s hand is inside! The Squad mocks her pain while the referee helps Sasha get free. Ruby drags Sasha up and in, then covers. ONE, but Ruby keeps her cool as she kicks the bad arm. Ruby kicks Sasha more, and soaks in the heat. She drags Sasha up and wrenches that wrist. Sasha rolls her up, TWO, backslide now. ONE, and Ruby stomps the bad hand! Ruby mule kicks Sasha down, covers, TWO. Ruby grows frustrated, but she still looms over Sasha. She stomps Sasha, then drops a knee on the bad arm. The Squad leader is in control while we go to break.

Raw returns, and Ruby tortures Sasha’s bad arm. Fans rally behind Sasha as she endures. Sasha gets up but Ruby shifts to a keylock. Sasha keeps getting up and brings Ruby to a cover, ONE. Ruby still has the arm, and she slams Sasha’s arm into the mat. The Squad cheers their leader on, and Ruby wrenches Sasha’s wrist again. Ruby says Sasha’s friendhsip with Bayley is a joke. Sasha fires off chop after chop, then acrobatically arm-drags Ruby away! Ruby comes back, misses, til-o-whirl to a takedown. Sarah distracts and ruby whips, but Sasha elbows Ruby away. Sasha runs to DIVE onto Sarah! She hurries up and in, but Ruby is ready. Sasha still knees her back, but then Liv yanks Sasha down! Bayley protests, but then runs Liv over with a lariat. Sasha gets back up, but Ruby kicks her again. Roll up, Ruby wins!!

Winner: Ruby Riott, by pinfall

Her return is a success, with help from her friends. Can the Boss & Hug Connection survive with the Squad back at full power?

 

Corbin shows Angle that time is running out.

Angle has production staff check, but there’s no sign of Rollins yet. One of Raw’s biggest matches, and it might not happen because Angle waited this long. Stephanie won’t be happy. This isn’t a Constable problem, this is a GM problem. they can’t wait any longer. Angle has no choice but to go tot he ring. Will Rollins be here to join him?

 

Kurt Angle is in the ring!

Before he brings out the champion and challenger for the Intercontinental title, he wants to address Heyman’s and Lesnar’s actions. Roman is still good for Summerslam, but Angle won’t punish Lesnar. Roman will kick Lesnar’s ass to bring that title back to the show each week where it belongs! Lesnar is the worst champion of all time!

But here comes a current champion who does show up. Ziggler walks to the ring, followed by his Scottish Terminator. Rollins isn’t here, just call it. Do they look like they were born yesterday? Angle wasn’t going to suspend Lesnar no matter what, but he can’t afford to lose this title match. If Roman can’t stand, Angle might just prop Roman himself just to protect his job. Angle wanted them to wait, they would’ve been introduced. Sure sure. But does Ziggler have to defend or not? If not, he could do a stand-up set. Angle gives Rollins his intro, but nothing happens. He tries again, but still nothing.

This is over, Angle knew Rollins wasn’t going to arrive. But considering the beatings, Rollins’ “travel issues” could just be a way to stay far away from them. Rollins was a great champion, emphasis on “was”. There’s nothing you can google, Rollins couldn’t figure them out, so he quit. This might be a surprise, but McIntyre & Ziggler respect Rollins. Their alliance was to destroy complacency. If they’re fortunate to be up here, that’s when the hard work begins! Many think getting here is “making it”, but Rollins doesn’t think that way. Rollins fought to prove he’s the best, so these two worked that much harder to be that much better. Rollins was the Architect of his own downfall! He made the classic mistake of pushing himself for the fans.

Rollins busted his ass, for the WWE Universe! It’s a one-way street because Ziggler has been there. The fickle audience loves #BurnItDown, but they also loved #StoleTheShow. It’s all meaningless, because the second fans feel slighted or bored, because it happened with Ziggler. It’ll happen with Rollins, too, and the next guy and the next guy, and it’s all because of the fans! “It’s easy to be around for the fun times, but where the Hell were you for the hard times?” And for the first time in Ziggler’s career, he has someone who actually has his back. And not some mooch, no! The Scottish Psycho eggs Ziggler on to outdo himself to keep that title for the betterment of the company and the world of wrestling!

But Ziggler doesn’t care about the fans, the other wrestlers, or stealing a show. Ziggler & McIntyre do what they want, and take it all! So forego the formality, just hand the contract over and it can be officially Rollins’ forfeit. Angle hesitates, fans chant “Burn It Down!” but the contract is handed over. Ziggler signs on the dotted line, so that’s one half of this. Now where’s Rollins? Here he is!

The Kingslayer is fashionably late, and apologizes. Especially since we had to sit through Ziggler’s therapy session. Rollins hasn’t been completely honest, he was here for awhile already. But he wanted to wait for Ziggler to sign because he might have changed his mind. The truth is, Rollins had travel issues, just not his. And that clause about a corner man to match McIntyre, well… That’s there for a particular reason. Rollins is always stuck 2v1, so the Scottish Psycho better be ready for a LUNATIC FRINGE! Dean Ambrose is back! McIntyre is furious as he throws the table out. He and Ziggler stand their ground as the Shield Brothers rush the ring! And it’s a brawl! Ambgrose throws Ziggler out, SUPERKICK to DIRTY DEEDS for McIntyre! Fans are thunderous over this reunion! Rollins signs his half, and it’s official! Can the Lunatic help Rollins get his title back?

 


 

My Thoughts:

For a go-home Raw, this wasn’t half bad. It was essentially all filler, and started to drag at the end, but it had a great although expected ending. The opening was a good adjustment given the tragedy of Jim Neidhart’s passing. Ronda speaking from her heart was really sweet, and Ember Moon makes a great sub-in for a pretty solid match with Alexa. Ember wins for potential title talk later, but I hope Ronda standing tall won’t mean she loses. As I said last week, Ronda is organically over and it would make so much sense for her to be champ. The video package obviously had to be made on the spot, but boy did WWE do great with it, as always. I really do hope and pray Natty and the family will be okay through this unimaginably tough time.

Baron Corbin coming up with matches was a smart way for them to fill the card while also giving everyone else something to do. Corbin VS Breeze was an obvious squash, and I really hope Breeze dabbles in the Cruiserweight Division after Summerslam. Then obviously Corbin stacks the deck for Angle to then change it up, but Strowman is just so entertaining and over. I really hope he keeps that briefcase, his cash-in will be what saves Brooklyn from imploding should Roman win. And while everyone felt Heyman was going to swerve Roman about joining him and leaving Lesnar, I don’t think anyone saw it coming tonight. However, this is still Vince’s roundabout way of pushing Roman as the underdog Face fans don’t want, so again I refer back to Strowman being the ace in the hole.

Ricky Roberts got a new level of jobber squash treatment, where Lashley destroyed him before the bell could ever ring. Elias VS Lashley is a very filler grudge match, but hopefully stuff happens where they can each get back towards title contention as we move into the Fall. That Raw Tag title triple threat turned out way better than I expected, and B Team keeps surprising me. They’re having a 2v2 title match with The Revival for the kickoff show, and I can’t say they’d lose the titles there. The AoP & Mojo lose a filler Six Man Tag, but I still feel AoP find a way up to challenge on the way to Hell in a Cell.

Ruby VS Sasha was semi-filler because it at least gives Ruby a return win, and we can expand this towards Hell in a Cell and WWE Evolution for these two teams to be the Raw finalists for that desired Women’s Tag Team story. Then the story that dominated the night, that was made to be the final segment by any means necessary, the Intercontinental Championship contract signing definitely telegraphed the return of Dean Ambrose. It’s still fine, because it was still fun for both of them to run roughshod over Ziggler & McIntyre. This can go any number of ways, but in the case of Ambrose turning Heel, I hope they at least try a return to tag team action before then. They need something that’s hard to predict because the Lunatic Fringe needs to be that kind of unstable.

My Score: 7.7/10


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Coverage

Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 3.28.2024

TNA tapings from Philly! Knockouts Number 1 Contender is decided! Rich Swann explains his heel turn and Chris Sabin vs Steve Maclin in the main event!

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Hey, even if Xplosion has been a complete waste of 45 minutes, last week’s iMPACT! showed some promise with this newer direction at least. We’re getting a return of the 8 for 1 match for the Knockouts World Title. So we’ll get a number one contender for Jordynne Grace, apparently Chris Sabin and Steve Maclin have a match, but we get some answers from Rich Swann on his heel turn.

Time to see what else we have going on!

Ratings:

  • 8 for 1 Match: Rosemary, Dani Luna,  Xia Brookside & Steph DeLander vs Havok, Jody Threat, Masha Slamovich & Alisha Edwards: Dani wins via Schoolgirl Roll-Up – **
  • Dani Luna vs Steph DeLander vs Xia Brookside vs Rosemary: Steph wins via TKO – * 1/2
  • Grizzled Young Vets (James Drake & Zack Gibson) vs Cody Deaner: GYV wins via Grit Your Teeth – SQUASH
  • Josh Alexander vs Tracy Williams: Josh wins via C4 Spike – ***1/4
  • Mike Bailey w/Trent Seven vs Eddie Edwards w/Brian Myers & Alisha Edwards: Eddie Edwards wins via Boston Knee Party – *** 1/2
  • Steve Maclin vs Chris Sabin: Maclin wins via KIA – *** 1/2

 

Results:

8 for 1 Match: Rosemary, Dani Luna,  Xia Brookside & Steph DeLander vs Havok, Jody Threat, Masha Slamovich & Alisha Edwards

So this is a random tag pairing, which the winning team than faces each other in a Fatal Four Way for Number One Contender position; that explains why half of Decay and Spitfire are on opposite teams. 

Steph faces off with Havok first but tags out to Rosemary to try and shirk responsibility, but Rosemary and Havok work together to level Steph and then Rosemary tags back out to purposefully bring DeLander back into the match. Havok throws Steph around a bit, even Lish gets in some offense, most notably her Bodyscissors Bulldog, but Steph tags out to Dani, Dani and Masha go after each other and then the match slowly starts to break down.

Dani hits the Rope Assisted Blue Thunder Bomb on Masha for 2, and starts looking for the Luna Landing. Masha slips it and we go into a bit of a locomotion Cradle spot which Dani gets the best of and wins the tag for her team!

Dani Luna vs Steph DeLander vs Xia Brookside vs Rosemary

As the match is getting set up, Masha attacks Dani to wipe her out. So the other three start fighting, Xia charges a corner, gets ole’d and she flies into ASH by Elegance who was seated at ringside because she had cosmetic surgery and couldn’t wrestle. ASH posts Xia, gets banished from ringside by the referee, back in the ring Rosemary does her rise from the dead spot and looks to finish Steph but Matt Cardona comes out of nowhere, hits the Radio Silence, Steph DeLander hits the TKO for the easy 1-2-3.

Steph DeLander is number one contender and Matt Cardona is back! Not a terrible wrinkle. The match barely existed but at least these returns are nice. 

GYV hits the ring to complain about Cody Deaner costing them the match against Time Splitters last week. So they call him out and he’s out in Red and Yellow trailer park Flash attire. Santino apparently is allowing Deaner to pick one of the GYV members to fight. Philly picks both, so Deaner attacks both. 

Grizzled Young Vets (James Drake & Zack Gibson) vs Cody Deaner

Cody gets the best of Drake early but then the GYV work over Deaner a bit early, Gibson starts talking smack and Deaner tries to Hulk Up, and it seemingly works. Combination Punches, Manhattan Drop, Corner Bulldog, tries the Deaner DDT, but Gibson cuts him off with a throat chop.

Drake uses the scarf to take advantage of the referee not looking, and then some Grit Your Teeth gives the GYV a win.

Josh Alexander walks out again to be the Talking Weapon…and yeah, not really a big fan of when he speaks. He’s dressed to wrestle so lets hope its an open challenge or a Philadelphia Drink Off with Sandman showing up…or something. Just not a lot of talking, please. OH GOOD, open challenge. Josh calls out Hammerstone, but he gets some Hot Sauce instead of Hammers.

Josh Alexander vs Tracy Williams

As expected with these two, early World of Sport style open with some chain wrestling into athletic counter wrestling and shrugging off both men’s first attempt at submissions. They both take a beat, then we go into a Chop Battle, Williams slows Josh with a Kitchen Sink, but Josh grabs him in the Vertical Suplex and then spill over the ropes. Josh is back in first, Williams tries to crawl up, eats a strike and then eats Josh’s Low Crossbody spot. So now Josh starts dogwalking Williams around the outside.

Josh throws him back in, drives a knee into his face, but as Williams tries to fight back, Josh stops all of that with a Northern Lights Suplex Hold for 2. Josh goes for a Heel Hook to weaken the ankle for a potential Ankle Lock. So just early joint manipulation and Back Breakers from Josh leaves Williams writhing and absorbing so much…not really fighting back much. Tracy tries a desperation short Headbutt to the gut like he’s Spike Dudley, but it seems to just annoy Josh. A few traded Overhand Chops, C4 Spike attempt but Tracy drops his weight. Josh gets a little arrogant, starts with a few half assed slaps and it allows Tracy to fire a few strike, Back Drop Suplex, drives Josh into the corner and sets up the Avalanche Butterfly Suplex. Tracy goes for a submission but Josh is too close to the ropes.

With all of Williams’ offense, Josh manages to fire through and land an Exploder Suplex to rock Tracy. A few more big moves from Josh, into the Power Breaker seems to give Josh all of the momentum. C4 Spike again, Back Drop counter, Back Elbow and Tracy tries a corner set up but Josh cuts him off and they start fighting on the top. Williams counters the Superplex, DDT into the top corner buckle, Death Valley Driver into an STF, then Crossface but Josh is fighting. Piledriver attempt from Williams, straight right says no, Release German Suplex, straps go down but Tracy kicks Josh in the face. They trade Big Boots, Josh with a Backslide into the C4 Spike for the win!

Both these guys chant kicks up, Josh offers the handshake, they go for the corny Indie respect moment and Hammerstone hits the ring and lays them both out. Hammer puts the head gear on Tracy and throws him into the Torture Rack. 

This might be Ali’s best promo ever.

Mike Bailey w/Trent Seven vs Eddie Edwards w/Brian Myers & Alisha Edwards

I do really like The System’s theme song. 

Eddie goes for the NOAH Chop, Bailey ducks the first one and tries to keep things quick, but Eddie catches him and caves in his chest real quick. Front Kick from Bailey into the Back Handspring that culminates into a Gamengiri, Eddie powders and Speedball goes for the Tope con Hilo. Arm Wringer into a Round Kick to the chest. Bailey breaks the count, eats a chop and then get go into a kicks and chops trading spot. Myers provides enough of a distraction since they’re on the outside so Eddie scoops Bailey and Blue Thunder Bomb on the apron.

Another count reset, this time from Eddie and the Chops continue from Eddie. Eventually Eddie throws Bailey back into the ring, very unceremoniously, drops a knee to the eyes and goes for 3 pinfalls in quick succession. Fingers to the eyes, chops to the chest, Backpack Stunner attempt but Speedball wriggles free and John Woo Dropkick gives him some space. Spinning Back Kick, Axe Kick, Round Kick, Running Shooting Star, for 2! Speedball slaps his chest to try and send a message while he starts lighting up Eddie with about half a dozen Round Kicks to the chest. He then goes for the Lightning Kicks while Eddie is on the ropes, Myers pulls out Eddie, Bailey attempts a dive but puts the brakes on, acts like he’s distracted by Myers but avoid Eddie’s sneak attack. Kick to the face into a Corkscrew Asai Moonsault, back in the ring, Tornado Kick from Bailey, goes for Ultima Weapon but he eats a Gamengiri into the Backpack Stunner for 2!

Both men rise, Chop from Bailey sends him on his ass, and we go back to kicks versus chops. Bailey with the combination kicks, tries the Buzzsaw but Eddie moves, Lariat! Tiger Driver attempt, but Bailey says no, Backflip Knees gives Bailey all the momentum. He tries the Tornado set up, Myers and Alisha get involved but Trent Seven nullifes Myers, Bailey with the Double Clutch Superkick to rock Eddie, he goes back to the Tornado set up but Lish grabs his feet, Bailey fights her off, drops Eddie, goes for Ultima Weapon but misses! Boston Knee Party to the back of Bailey’s head, Eddie wins!

There’s a quick video package for the FBI next week. Not sure if that means we only see Guido, or if Vito and others will show up.

Rich homie Swann and AJ Francis show up and I’m fairly sure he named them “First Class”. They keep saying AJ Francis in the same cadence as AJ Styles, so I get what they’re doing there. And Swann basically says AJ was the only one who cared about how Rich was doing, Hendry just stole his thunder and did nothing. “If you ain’t First Class, you’re last” – Talladega Nights references? Well now.

Steve Maclin vs Chris Sabin

Mostly an uneventful start, a few moments from both men, Sabin speeds things up when he ducks out and baits Maclin to try the Scud Missile, but he outsmarts him by sliding back in. Maclin doesn’t full commit to the dive but does roll out a little hard which gives Sabin the chance to jump on him. Baseball Slide, Wristlock over the ring post, throws him back in and looks for a Grounded Top Wristlock. Sabin acting a bit more like Shelley with the joint focus, but Maclin manages to use the ropes to his advantage and bounce Sabin off of them twice.

Maclin finally has some control, Forearm to the low back, drapes Sabin on the middle rope and drives the knee into the back of his head. Maclin lays in some chops, grounds any of Sabin’s attempts and locks in a Chin Lock. Sabin finally fires up , but Maclin hits the Olympic Slam to stifle Sabin’s attempts. Maclin perches Sabin, tries the Superplex but a few punches and a bite gives Sabin an opening and Sabin connects with the Missile Dropkick. Manhattan Drop into a Crucifix cover for 2, Swinging Neckbreaker causes Maclin to retreat to the corner and Sabin focuses a few Forearms to the back of the head and a Snap DDT.

A few wild swings from Maclin give Sabin a gift, so he goes for the Crossface. Maclin barely rolls tot he ropes to break the hold, powders out and moves out of the way of the Plancha. BUSAIKU KNEE to level Sabin. Jar-Headbutt for a near fall! Maclin Tree of Woes Sabin, Caught in the Crosshairs, Sabin sits up but Maclin knows how to avoid the post. A small back and forth, Mayhem for All and only a 2 count! Jar-Headbutt number two misses, La Magistral for only 2, both collide with lariats and then go into the Fighting Spirit spot. Slugfest but Sabin hits a Sole Butt, Sabin tries to continue but Maclin coldcocks Sabin sending him to the outside, Scud Missile Dive – MISSES! Maclin is laid out on the outside, count out starts, Sabin is back in around 6, Maclin barely beats the 10. Springboard Tornado DDT from Sabin for a near fall!

Cradle Shock attempt, but Maclin fights it off. Sabin jumps, misses, Tree of Woe, Caught in the Crosshairs! Maclin tries the KIA but Sabin turns it into a Wrestler’s Bridge Pinfall for only 2, but Maclin holds on to the arms, connects with the KIA and wins!

 

Overall Score: 7/10

Well aside from the fact the opening match was a little bit of a hectic mess and Kon is still a storyline relevant thing…the better portion of the episode was pretty fun. I didn’t love the allusions to Santino handing out rights to challenge and open challenge vouchers, felt like a weird “authority” figure kind of spin. But when he finally showed up and continued to be the lovable goof, its all good.

Ali had his best promo ever, “Mr Rhinoceros”, was a great way to spin into the conversation with Rhyno. Sabin steering more into Shelley’s bag of tricks and still coming up short is interesting. Steph DeLander with the big return win and bringing Cardona back with her is generally a fun angle. Speedball looked awesome and Hammerstone did a great job looking like a massive douche and executing the best Torture Rack since Lex Luger.

Of course there’s a few gripes, but all in all, it was pretty fun.


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Mitchell’s ROH Results & Report! (3/28/24)

Look who finally decided to show up!

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Kyle Fletcher returns to ROH TV!

The ROH World Television Champion is finally back to defend his title! Will the Aussie Arrow hit Blake Christian through the All Heart?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Athena VS Nikita; Athena wins.
  • Cole Karter & Griff Garrison w/Maria Kanellis VS Kaz Jordan & Victor Castella; Karter & Griff win.
  • Dalton Castle VS Nick Comoroto; Castle wins.
  • Brandon Cutler & Colt Cabana VS Rex Lawless & Bryce Donovan; Cutler & Cabana win.
  • Six Man Tag: Top Flight VS KPK; Top Flight wins.
  • Diamante VS Kiera Hogan; Kiera wins.
  • Evil Uno VS JD Drake; Uno wins.
  • ROH World Television Championship: Kyle Fletcher VS Blake Christian; Fletcher wins and retains the title.

PLAY BY PLAY

Athena VS Nikita!

The Fallen Goddess was stressed out watching Hikaru Shida tune up for Supercard of Honor, so she’s getting back in the ring to work through that. Will Athena prove this is still her show? Or can The Russian Vixxen take advantage of Shida being on Athena’s mind?

The Code of Honor is upheld, the bell rings, and then Athena rushes in! Nikita dodges to rally with lariats and a SLINGBLADE! The fans rally, Nikita runs in at the corner and she SPLASHES, to then BULLDOG! Athena gets spiked and Nikita gets fired up! Nikita brings Athena up, underhooks, then PEDIGREES! Cover, ONE?!? Athena is tough but Nikita is still surprised. Nikita storms up but is sent into buckles! Nikita stops herself just in time, and she ROCKS Athena! Nikita brings Athena in while she goes up the corner, for a HANGING HEADSCISSOR! The ref counts, Nikita lets off, but Athena gets mad!

Athena DIVES and wipes Nikita out against barriers! Athena is mad now, and she brings Nikita up to THROW her into railing! Athena shouts at Nikita, then wheelbarrows to SWING her into barriers! Athena says you’re welcome and takes a bow, then she goes back for Nikita. Athena puts Nikita in, looms over her while soaking up cheers and jeers, then stalks Nikita as she crawls. Athena hauls Nikita up, CLUBS her again and again, then underhooks for a BUTTERFLY SWING! Athena TOSSES Nikita away, drags her up, and then HALF HATCH SLAMS! Nikita is dazed, but Athena sits her up. Athena ties up the legs and puts on a STANDING CROSSFACE! Nikita taps, Athena wins!

Winner: Athena, by submission

Ahead of crossing swords with the Shining Samurai, the ROH Women’s World Champion is sharpening her edge. As such, she SHOTGUNS Nikita back down! The fans boo as Athena CLUBS away on Nikita! Athena then puts Nikita in the Tree of Woe and lifts her up, to KICK away on Nikita’s back! Athena takes the belt, puts it in front of Nikita’s face, and she trots as she takes aim. But wait! Here comes Shida! The fans fire up as Athena runs away! Shida helps Nikita out of the Tree, then picks up the belt Athena left behind! She even dares Athena to come get it back! Is Shida going to be the one that finally dethrones the Overlord? Or will Athena make sure “forever champion” means forever?

 

Backstage interview with Lee Johnson.

Renee Paquette is here to talk with Big Shotty, and notes his impressive 2024 streak. He asked for this time, so what’s going on? Lee says that he has said it before and he will proudly say it again. He is not here to take part, he is here to take over! And now let him add something else: he is here to take titles! Now, he has heard there’s an ROH World Television Championship match between one champion in Kyle Fletcher and All Heart, Blake Christian. Now, whoever comes out victorious, Lee’s calling his shot! Supercard of Honor, Big Shotty’s got next! Lee is ready to swing for the fences, is he going to get his chance to hit it out of the park?

 

Dalton Castle VS Nick Comoroto!

The Peacock is still in his slump, and not even his substitute Boys are enough. Meanwhile, did the Freak Beast really shave his beard? Then which change will be the more hindering? Castle without Brandon & Brent, or Comoroto with Jacoby Watts?

The Code of Honor is upheld, and in tight quarters, and the bell rings. The fans rally for Castle as he and Comoroto circle. Castle squats low, real low, then he rushes up to collar ‘n’ elbow! Comoroto powers Castle right to a corner, the ref counts, and Comoroto lets off at 4. Comoroto makes the pecs dance and then flicks sweat at Castle. Castle storms right up, and he, uh, “hip” checks Comoroto! Comoroto gives it back! Comoroto smirks but Castle gets those hips moving. Then he hits the low leg takedown! He rolls Comoroto then CLUBS away on him! Comoroto gets free, kicks low, then ROCKS Castle with a haymaker!

Comoroto bumps Castle off buckles then RAMS into him again and again and again! The ref counts, Comoroto whips Castle but Castle reverses to TOSS Comoroto! Comoroto holds on and he manages to skin the cat! A big cat at that, but Castle waistlocks! Comoroto holds onto ropes to stop the lift, then he backs Castle into a corner. Comoroto throws elbows, gets space and comes back, but into a BOOT! Castle runs up, into a LARIAT! The fans rally, Comoroto huffs and puffs and brings Castle up. Comoroto reels Castle in, but Castle Alabama Lifts! Comoroto CLUBS Castle down then shoves him away.

Comoroto swings but Castle blocks to ROCK him first! Castle fires more forearms, but Comoroto shoves him away. Comroto runs up, Castle gets around, BIG GERMAN SUPLEX! The fans fire up, Comoroto staggers to his feet, and into an Alabama Lift! BANGAAAAAA~RANG! Cover, Castle wins!

Winner: Dalton Castle, by pinfall

Comoroto is a big man, so this was a big win for The Peacock! But wait, here comes Taya Valkyrie! And she tells Castle, “How dare you say that we are irresponsible! Yeah, we lost The Boys. But after the short time we had them, I realized how rude and annoying they are! So, I’m glad we lost them! Because they were a couple of BAD boys!” The fans boo but Taya says yeah, she went there! And they probably got it from Castle! Because Castle never loved them! Not like Mommy & Daddy TV loved them! So for that, Castle deserves this! Sneak attack by Johnny TV! MOONLIGHT DRIVE and a SHINING WIZARD!

Johnny rains down fists on Castle, then says they were BAD boys! Castle set a bad example for them! They’re all losers! The fans boo but Mr. & Mrs. TV just stand over Castle to make out! Then they stomp Castle on their way out! Even as he wins matches, will Castle still be lost in life with The Boys lost in the woods of Canada?

 

Mark Briscoe speaks.

“Philadelphia. For #DemBoys, that is the origin of professional wrestling. That’s when we felt it. That’s when we said this is in our soul, man.” Jay himself once said, “This is what we was created to do, man.” Baddest tag team on the planet, almost a quarter century, and BOOM, it gets taken away in a moment. So Mark’s starting over from square one, flying solo. Continental Classic, the game plan was to get on top, and to soar! But his wings were clipped, humbled once again. But there’s this voice inside of him, it’s Jay’s voice, that says, “Don’t worry about that broken wing, son. You was born to fly. With wings like an eagle, we gonna mount up.”

Mark knows Eddie Kingston’s got that same voice inside of him. “Ain’t that some s*it?” Mark knows Eddie’s had the highs and lows, the peaks and valleys, just like Mark. Eddie became the first American Triple Crown Champion, took on all comers defending that, but then lost to the AEW Continental Championship to Kazuchika Okada. Eddie talked to his mentor, Homicide, and agreed that it is time to tap into something from the past. Into that hungry Eddie, that ruthless Eddie, that vicious Eddie. The Eddie with that dog in him! That Pitbull! Every yard has a top dog, but Eddie, you may be ROH World Champion, but Mark’s gonna show you in Philly that MARK is top dog!

April 5th marks 11 years to the day that brother Jay won his first ROH World Championship. And just like he told Mark, time to man up. Eddie, it is time to man up. Philly, it is time to man up! Mark Briscoe VS Eddie Kingston, ROH World Championship, Supercard of Honor, we will man up. But who will be the man that holds up that title at the end of the night?

 

Diamante VS Kiera Hogan!

The Cuban Diamond won big in a Four Corner Survival, and she won in the opening round of the ROH Women’s World Television Championship tournament. Both of those losses only served to fan the flames, and now Kiera wants to turn up the heat! Will Kiera get her lick back? Or does Diamante just have Kiera’s number?

The Code of Honor is upheld, the bell rings, and the fans rally as the two circle. They tie up, Diamante headlocks, and she grinds the hold. Kiera powers up but can’t power out as Diamante holds tight. Kiera tries again, but Diamante still keeps the headlock on. Kiera throws body shots, powers out again and is free, but Diamante runs her over! Cover, ONE, and the two stand off. The fans rally as the two reset and go again. Kiera headlocks this time, dares Diamante to keep that same energy now, but Diamante grinds her forearm into Kiera’s face. Diamante powers out but Kiera runs her over! “And that’s all, periodt!”

The fans rally as the two reset again. Kiera wants that Miami heat, so the two tie up again. Kiera wrenches an arm, wristlocks, but Diamante rolls, kips up and wrenches back. Diamante wristlocks then hammerlocks, then spins Kiera for a snapmare. Diamante clamps on with a chinlock and she grinds Kiera down. Kiera fights up, pries the hold open, and fans cheer as she wrenches back. Kiera uses the hammerlock to wrangle Diamante, then she bridges over! Diamante endures, so Kiera floats to a facelock. Diamante gator rolls free and wrenches Kiera to a top mounted armlock! Kiera endures and the fans rally again.

Kiera fights up, wrenches and wristlocks, but Diamante goes to ropes. The ref counts, Kiera lets off quickly, and the armbands come off! They tie up, Kiera wrenches and wristlocks. Diamante ROCKS Kiera! Kiera falls, Diamante stomps her, then drags her up to ROCK her again! Diamante ROCKS Kiera one more time, then runs the ropes, but into a BOOT! And ROUNDHOUSE! Cover, TWO! Diamante stays in this and she kicks right back. Diamante whips, Kiera ducks ‘n’ whips to then drop and trip Diamante! Kiera keeps moving, STEP-UP LEG DROP! Cover, TWO! Diamante sputters and goes to a corner but Kiera eggs her on.

Kiera fires forearms now, then whips corner to corner. Diamante hits buckles hard, then Kiera fires up. The fans rally behind her as she runs in, but Diamante drop toeholds her into buckles! Diamante then stomps away on Kiera in the corner! The ref counts, Diamante lets off at 4, and she drags Kiera up to put her against buckles. Diamante stomps some more, then goes corner to corner and back again, HYDRAULIC DROPKICK! Diamante drags Kiera to the cover, TWO! Keira stays in this and Diamante is annoyed. Diamante sits Kiera up and traps an arm before she clamps on, cording hold and SHOULDER CLAW!

Kiera endures this modified cobra twist, and Diamante even grinds her forearm into Kiera’s face. The fans rally as Kiera fights up. Kiera throws body shots, ROCKS Diamante, but Diamante RAMS Kiera into the corner! And RAMS her again! Then CHOPS! Diamante puts Kiera up top, ROCKS her, then ROCKS her again! Diamante climbs up to throw more shots, and then brings her up. The fans rally while Kiera blocks the suplex! Kiera throws body shots, then shoves Diamante away! Diamante comes back, but Kiera MISSILE DROPKICKS her! Diamante tumbles and the fans rally while both women are down.

Kiera pounds the mat to fire up again. She nods as she rises, the fans behind her. Kiera runs up to CLOBBER Diamante! And she CLOBBERS her again! Diamante swings, Kiera blocks to snapmare and “EAT IT!” SUPERKICK! The fans fire up as Kiera goes Around the World to HIP ATTACK! Then side to side, BOOT WASH! Cover, ROPEBREAK!! Diamante gets a bit lucky and Kiera is frustrated. Kiera fireman’s carries but Diamante fights it. Then she CLAWS Kiera’s eyes! CHOP BLOCK! Diamante fires up now, she dragon sleepers, and says goodnight. But Kiera throws knees to say not yet!

Kiera snapmares free, runs up, SUPERKICK! Diamante flounders, Kiera hauls her up, FACE THE MUSIC! Bridging cover, Kiera wins!

Winner: Kiera Hogan, by pinfall

The swinging fisherman neckbreaker punctuates this one, periodt! Kiera wants to be the first in line to face the inaugural ROH Women’s World Television Champion, but just who will it be? The Queen of Guinea, Queen Aminata? Or Athena’s protege, Billie Starkz?

 

BREAKING NEWS for Supercard of Honor!

It’s already a big night with the title matches, including the crowning of the first-ever ROH Women’s World TV Champion, but now even Stardom is getting in on the action! It will be a Six Woman Tag as Mina Shirakawa, Maika & Mei Seira take on Saya Kamitani, Tam Nakano & AZM!

 

Hikaru Shida speaks.

“In AEW, I won Woman’s World title three times, I beat Toni Storm, I beat Saraya, Willow, Anna Jay, almost everyone. I need stimulation! And so do you. Right, Athena? Do you remember the moment we faced each other in the ring last year? I know you’ve been excited! I know fans have been excited! But… the person who has been excited most is me. Excited to beat up the ‘forever champ.’ So, hello, ROH! Be ready for a new era. Because Holy Shida has arrived!” The Shining Samurai is ready, but will she be able to cut down the Fallen Goddess?

 

ROH World Television Championship: Kyle Fletcher VS Blake Christian!

As Supercard of Honor approaches, it is about time the Protostar returned to ROH TV. But will this return be less than triumphant? Or will All Heart be an easy target for the Aussie Arrow?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we see who heads for Philly!

The Code of Honor is not upheld as Kyle kicks Blake’s hand away, so Blake shakes his own hand. The bell rings, the two circle, and they tie up. Blake wrenches, wristlocks, but Kyle shoots around to waistlock and SLAM! The fans boo but Kyle soaks it up. Blake gets up, he and Kyle reset and circle again. They tie up, Blake waistlocks then headlocks. Kyle powers out and runs Blake over! Kyle flexes to show he’s bulking up, but then Blake blocks a stomp! Blake kips up but Kyle breaks free to ROCK Blake! Things speed up, Blake hurdles, drops down, then DROPKICKS! Blake kips up and dusts himself off and the fans cheer.

Blake says va fa Napoli, Kyle rushes in, but he blocks Blake’s arm-drag. Kyle whips Blake away but Blake handsprings to wheelbarrow, victory roll, and SPLASH 182! Cover, TWO! Kyle gets away to ropes and catches his breath. Blake storms up, wrenches and whips, but Kyle blocks by holding ropes! Blake CLUBS the arm, but Kyle avoids the chop to clothesline Blake up and out! Fans boo as Kyle builds speed, but Blake slides in! Kyle stops the tope and goes back to the apron, only to get a 619! The fans fire up as Blake builds speed, and Blake FOSBURY FLOPS into the EYE OF THE HURRICANE!

The fans are thunderous as Blake gets Kyle up and in. Cover, TWO! Kyle stays in this but Blake stays cool. The fans rally again as Blake aims from a corner. Blake says he’s becoming champ, and he runs in, but into a POP-UP SWINGING SIDE SLAM! Cover, TWO! Blake survives and Kyle is annoyed again. Kyle tastes a bit of blood in his mouth, maybe cut his lip or tongue on his teeth. But he shrugs that off to stalk Blake to ropes. Kyle stands Blake up to CHOP him down! The fans “WOO~!” as Kyle pretends he can’t see where Blake went. Fans want that “One More Time!” and Kyle brings Blake up again.

Kyle has Blake in the corner now, winds up, but Blake dodges the chop to CHOP! CHOP! CHOP! MACHINE GUN CHOP! The fans fire up as Blake runs, but Kyle CLOBBERS Blake! Blake is dazed as Kyle hits an Ospreay level elbow shot. Blake crawls to a corner, Kyle eggs the fans on, and Kyle storms up on Blake. Kyle whips corner to corner, but Blake goes up to handstand! Kyle runs in but Blake BOOTS Kyle, then drops into the DDT!! The fans fire up while Kyle sputters! Kyle finds his way to ropes, comes back, but Blake ELBOWS him! Blake whips, Kyle reverses but Blake goes up and over and dragon sleepers! BACKBREAKER to SCREW HIGH KICK!

Kyle tumbles out, scrambles back up, but Blake goes up and out to APRON SPEAR! Blake just keeps going, and he DIVES! Direct hit with the Low-pe Suicida, and Blake puts Kyle right back in! Blake climbs up, Kyle sits up, into the ALL MACHO ELBOW!! Cover, TWO!!! Kyle survives and shocks everyone! Blake is frustrated, but he refocuses and calls his shot. The fans rally as Blake climbs the corner to the top. But Kyle springs up to SWEEP the legs! Blake hits buckles then falls to the mat! Kyle huffs and puffs and aims from the corner. Kyle runs in, GAMANGIRI! And then suplex, BRAINBUSTER!! Cover, TWO?!?

The fans are thunderous again and Kyle cannot believe it! Kyle drags Blake up, but Blake goes to fireman’s carry! Kyle fires off elbows, reels Blake in and- NO, Blake slips outta the bomb to fireman’s carry! Kyle reaches for ropes so Blake HOTSHOTS him on them! Kyle is stuck up there, so Blake goes up a corner! GUILLOTINE FROG SPLASH!! Blake hurries to get Kyle in, then hurries to the corner! Blake runs, step-up, but Kyle makes it a sunset flip! TWO, Blake sits on it, TWO! Kyle deadlifts Blake into a PILEDRIVER!! Cover, Kyle wins!

Winner: Kyle Fletcher, by pinfall (still ROH World Television Champion)

Kyle pretends he can’t hear all the boos, but he can’t pretend he doesn’t see Lee Johnson walking out on stage! The Aussie Arrow may have hit the bull’s eye tonight, but is he about to get shot down by Big Shotty?


My Thoughts:

A great ROH at an hour and 20 minutes, and even the matches I skipped ended up being a lot of fun to watch. Great comedic stuff in Cutler & Cabana winning, with Cutler showing off how cut he is under the tracksuit. And there was a great mix of comedy and meaty men slapping meat in Uno VS JD Drake, with a great win for Uno in his home country of Canada. KPK got a great showing here but that added to the quality of the win for Top Flight. And good win for Maria Kanellis’ boys but there was no story advancement with Spanish Announce Project so that was pointless.

Great opening stuff with Athena, in that she dominated Nikita but then got run off by Shida. Shida had a good promo though I wouldn’t have waited until right before the main event to play it. As I said before, Athena VS Shida is going to be great stuff, and this could be the moment for Athena to lose and then move on to AEW to get in on those titles. There was a great video recap package to hype Billie Starkz VS Queen Aminata, but nothing from those two directly. Diamante VS Kiera was really good, and it was logical for Kiera to win since Diamante won their previous 1v1 match. This doesn’t automatically make Kiera the #1 contender to the Women’s TV title, but she’s in the conversation.

Great match from Castle and Comoroto, and honestly, Comoroto looks good clean shaven. Good win for Castle, and of course Johnny & Taya beat him down to add to his misery. I still want savage, feral Boys to return to help Castle get revenge on Johnny & Taya, though. And awesome main event for the men’s TV title. Blake looked great even in defeat, but uh, what happened to Ethan Page? Another dropped ball in the ROH TV title division and Lee Johnson gets to run with it now. Kyle is more than likely defeating Lee at Supercard, but that really depends on what part he’s going to play in Ospreay’s story within the Don Callis Family.

My Score: 8.7/10


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