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Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Live Report! (8/7/18)

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After Samoa Joe got truly and brutally personal in his message to the WWE Champion, what will the Phenomenal One himself say in his return to SmackDown?

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Charlotte Flair & Becky Lynch VS The IIconics; Charlotte & Becky win.
  • Zelina Vega w/ Andrade “Cien” Almas VS Lana w/ Rusev; Zelina wins.
  • R-Truth VS Shinsuke Nakamura; Nakamura wins.
  • 3v2 Handicap: The Bludgeon Brothers VS 3SK; The Bludgeon Brothers win.
  • SmackDown Tag Team Championship Contenders Tournament: The New Day VS The Bar; The New Day wins and will face The Bludgeon Brothers for the titles at Summerslam.

PLAY BY PLAY

Randy Orton heads to the ring!

The Viper is back with even more venom in his veins, as he’s made it his mission to destroy any and all superstars the WWE Universe puts above him and his decade of hard work. Jeff Hardy is his first target, who Orton beat and battered all over ringside last week. Fans let him know “You Suck!” Orton speaks on how Jeff Hardy called him out, and reviews footage to show that new and vicious attack. From t-shirt to necklace to the paint on his face, Hardy was humiliated and stripped bare. Fans boo and jeer but Orton wonders, “Do you still believe?” Orton could’ve warned the squeamish, but making the fans squirm is why he did all that. Orton vows to end careers and dismantle identities. He will become so violent, fans will want to change the channel.

But, fans won’t change the channel because they still believe. They believe in superheroes, in hope, and they even hope the hero, Hardy, will save the day. He won’t, because Orton “erased the Enigma.” Hardy is lost, searching for himself that Orton stole and erased! Orton will erase every superstar the fans respect, because they don’t respect Orton! Let’s have a history lesson on Randy Orton. He started as the youngest man in the locker room, and became the youngest world champion ever! Orton is a 13-time world champion, a multi-time Royal Rumble Winner, Mr. Money in the Bank and Survivor Series winner, but the fans still don’t respect him!

“Sometimes in life, when you’re not given respect, you have to take it.” People make their choices, and so has Orton. Orton has chosen to wipe out those the fans chose to believe in. Orton will pick Hardy apart “piece by piece by piece”, but it is on each and every member of the WWE Universe. Say what you want. Apex Predator, Viper, Legend Killer, but just remember the three most devastating letters in sports entertainment: R, K, O! Orton drops the mic again and takes his leave. Who will the Viper choose to strike next?

 

Becky Lynch and Charlotte Flair talk backstage.

The two good friends aren’t sure where to start. Charlotte wasn’t trying to ruin Becky’s moment, but GM Paige gave her the opportunity so she had to take it. Becky understands, because they both want the title. Becky just finds herself in a tough position. She wants to be happy for Charlotte, but she wanted a 1v1 match. But now it’s a Triple Threat and that makes the challenge a bit bigger, because that hill she was climbing now has a “tall blonde boulder” in the way. Boulder? But it’s Summerslam, so you prove you’re the best by beating the best. Charlotte wouldn’t have it any other way. So they’re good for facing the IIconics? Of course! They’re not Sasha & Bayley. #TeaGenerationX is ready to go, will they be the more stable half of the WWE Four Horsewomen?

 

Carmella heads to the ring!

The FABULOUS SmackDown Women’s Champion wants to be front row and on commentary for the upcoming tag match featuring her two challengers.

 

Charlotte Flair & Becky Lynch VS The IIconics!

The Queen of Flair and the Lass Kicker both get a shot at the Princess of Staten Island in Brooklyn, but can they first prove they can beat Peyton Royce & Billie Kay in Orlando?

The Iconic Duo play some word association on the way out. “Orlando.” “The saddest place on Earth!” “Charlotte Flair.” “Overrated. Bad dancer. And lost to Carmella twice!” “Becky Lynch.” “Um… Nothing comes to mind.” Nothing at all? Yeah, is she even here? Fans tell the IIconics they’re “BORING~!” The IIconics ignore that to point out that Becky’s where she always is and always will be: in Charlotte’s shadow. Always a bridesmaid, but never the champ. Carmella says the truth hurts, but it’s time for the match.

Becky starts against Billie and gets a waistlock to headlock to wristlock. Tag to Charlotte, and she adds an ax handle. Charlotte chops Billy with those Flair backhands. Tag to Becky and they double whip Billie. Double hip toss, then double hip tosses for Peyton! Becky goes for the submission but Peyton saves Billie. Becky tags Charlotte, and Charlotte slingshots onto the IIconics! Tea Generation X controls the ring while we go picture in picture.

Charlotte styles and profiles, then clinks tea cups with Becky. She chases down Billie and puts her in the ring. Peyton distracts and Billie boots! Charlotte goes down, and Peyton tags to get in some stomps. She puts Charlotte in the ring, covers, TWO. The IIconics argue with the ref, but then tag to Billie. They double wrench and kick both sides of Charlotte. Cover, TWO, but Billie keeps on Charlotte with a chinlock. She grinds Charlotte but Charlotte powers up and out to chop! Billie throws Charlotte by her hair, then rains down rights. Cover, TWO! Tag to Peyton, and the IIconics grind their boots into Charlotte’s chin. Peyton mocks the styling and profiling, but Charlotte fights back. Peyton runs her over, cover, TWO! The IIconics are getting mad now, but they calm down. Peyton chokes Charlotte on the ropes, then backs off at 4.

Peyton keeps Charlotte down with knees to her back. She drives elbows into the shoulders, then thrashes Charlotte around in a chinlock. Charlotte endures while fans rally up. She stands and power Peyton to the corner. Charlotte throws Peyton off but Billie hotshots her into Peyton’s heel kick! Cover, but Becky breaks it in time! Billie throws Becky out, then argues with the ref. She drags Charlotte over while we go single picture. Small package from Charlotte, TWO, double boots! Both women go down and the fans fire up. Carmella, however, is not impressed. Hot tags to Peyton & Becky! Becky rallies with lariats and a calf kick. She kicks and European Uppercuts, then throws Peyton with a Becksploder! She kip-up, then hops up top for flying forearms! Cover, TWO!

Becky goes for the Disarm-her! She has it, but Billie kicks her down. Charlotte tags in, and shoulders into Billie. She climbs up top, MOONSAULT! she takes both IIconics out! Charlotte grabs Peyton, Figure Eight! Peyton taps, Charlotte & Becky win!

Winners: Charlotte Flair & Becky Lynch, Charlotte with the submission

The best friends win together, but it seems bittersweet for the Lass Kicker. At the same time, Carmella reminds them both that she is champion. Can Becky and Charlotte stay friends with a common enemy in their sights? Or will that greed for gold blind them in Brooklyn?

 

Backstage interview with The New Day!

The longest reigning team in WWE History blew up the internet just being on commentary. They were dynamite, but now they’re trying something different. Kofi reveals the suit and tie, as well as a wig. “I’m Kramer Kingdom, reporting here from SmackDown Live with two guys who have a very unique opportunity here for the SmackDown Tag Team titles!” They’re facing the fierce Cesaro & Sheamus. How are you gonna spar with The Bar? Fierce as in the rancid milk smell that follows them. They’ve beaten Cesaro & Sheamus before, they’ll do it again. “B-b-b-b-b-but what about the B-b-bludgeon Brothers?” Well, they’re no strangers to dangers. Ya bois, the New~ Day~ will make Harper & Rowan bow down to the power of positivity! The New Day can do anything, but can they win tonight and in Brooklyn?

 

The Miz has an announcement.

He’s on the set of his hit reality show, Miz And Mrs. He gives and gives, from access to his life and the greatest entertainment imaginable. After weeks of negotiations, Miz gives Daniel Bryan a gift. “The gift of relevancy.” It WILL be Bryan VS Miz at Summerslam! This war of words will finally be settled in the ring! Will the A-Lister kick Bryan back down to the B-List? Or will Bryan show Miz is just too soft to be a superstar?

 

Charlotte and Becky are fired up!

They love tagging together! They’re so good together. That was today, though, and in two weeks, it’ll be every woman for herself. Well, they can be great against each other, too. Tea Generation X for life, but will it survive a match for gold?

 

SmackDown reviews Samoa Joe’s message to AJ Styles.

The Destroyer went a step too far claiming the Phenomenal One puts titles and matches before family and friends. Joe claims Styles is barely home long enough to hold his children, and is a failure as a father. Styles may have the fans on his side, but Joe will have Styles’ own family on his.

AJ Styles heads to the ring!

The WWE Champion heard everything his cruel #1 contender had to say last week. With fans chanting his name, Styles picks up a mic to respond. “A lot goes on between these ropes. A lot of trash talking, a lot of manhood being tested. And usually when that happens, it gets personal.” Samoa Joe made it personal bringing up Styles’ family. Styles vows to be the greatest WWE superstar for his family. That doesn’t make him special. All parents make sacrifices, that’s just what you’re supposed to do as both a father and “a real man.”

Styles is away for over 200 days out of the year, so he misses Little League, birthdays, and anniversaries. He and his wife have been together 18 years, but the reality is that she lives like a single parent while he’s gone. But parents are meant to sacrifice to give their kids what they need, and sometimes what they want. Just like everyone else, when his kids fall and cry, he wants to be there to pick them up and comfort them.

But that’s what angers Styles the most! Joe knows his family, and long before SmackDown was the House That AJ Styles Built, they both shared “a cockroach infested apartment” and stale pizza. Joe threw that decade of friendship all away in a matter of seconds. Styles vows that Joe’s hands won’t touch the title. “Screw that!” Styles vows that Joe won’t walk out champion, or even walk out at all. Joe was watching that entire speech backstage, and is laughing? Did Joe bait Styles into being fired up for their match? Or will Joe’s master plan backfire in Brooklyn?

 

Rusev and Lana meet backstage.

Mr. & Mrs. Machka talk about the miscommunication. Rusev will be with Lana for her rematch with Zelina Vega, for a Happy Lana Day. Lana thanks her Bulgarian Brute hsuband for being so considerate. But now Aiden English walks over. He just wants to apologize, and will let Rusev hit him if he wants. English didn’t mean to cost any of them their matches. It’s not fair to any of them, but he has the best intentions at heart. He just wants to say he’s sorry. Lana nods, and Rusev forgives English. They shake on it, but Rusev keeps English from joining them at ringside.

 

Zelina Vega w/ Andrade “Cien” Almas VS Lana w/ Rusev!

La Muneca got a win in her SmackDown in-ring debut thanks to both El Idolo and MC Artiste getting involved at ringside. Can she quickly go 2-0 against the Ravishing Russian? Or will Lana prove she’s the best, Lana number one?

The bell rings and Lana tackles Vega to a corner! She throws in shoulders, then backs off at 4. Lana whips but Vega breaks free to discus forearm. Vega runs awy from the anger Lana, but gets a wrecking balld ropkcik! Lana puts her in the ring and goes after the feet. Vega kicks Lana, then hammers away with both fists. Vega covers, ONE. She puts Lana in a chinlock while fans sing for Lana. Lana powers up and works against the hold. She fights back with body shots, but Vega throws her down by her hair. Vega ax kicks Lana, then pats herself on the back. Lana gets to ropes but Veaga whips. Lana reverses and knees low. She reels Vega in, Fisherman Suplex! Cover, ONE, but Lana drops an elbow.

Lana drops more elbows, then kicks Vega while she’s down. She puts Vega in a corner, then another corner. Vega reverses to bump Lana off buckles. Lana kicks back, then bulldogs! Cover, TWO! Lana gets fans singing again, then suplexes Vega again. She gets a third suplex, but keeps going. Almas gets on the apron, and Vega hits a code breaker! Rusev runs over and runs Almas over! Rusev throws Almas into barriers! The fans fire up, but Vega kicks Rusev in the head. Almas hits Rusev, then puts him into a post. Vega blows a kiss, but Lana hits a Machka Kick! Lana climbs up but Rusev and Almas keep fighting. English flies in from the ramp! He tackles into the ring, but that shakes Lana off the top! Vega grins as she pounces with CIEN KNEES! Cover, Vega wins!

Winner: Zelina Vega, by pinfall

English couldn’t help himself, and he’s cost Team Rusev Day again! He was told to stay back, and is furious with himself for disobeying. What can he possibly do to make it up to them now?

 

Backstage interview with Shinsuke Nakamura.

The WWE United States Champion officially defends his title against Jeff Hardy at Summerslam. But Nakamura thins we’re mistaken. Hardy was erased. No, that wasn’t literal. Nakamura knows that, but he’s just facing “what’s left”, to leave nothing left at all for Orton to destroy. But wait, R-Truth comes storming over, and Tye Dillinger does his best to stop him. Truth calls Nakamura out for the title, at Summerslam. How? The same way everyone else does: he’ll pin Carmella. No, that’s not how that works, Truth. You gotta deal with a certain someone here. Truth isn’t going to wrestle Renee. Nakamura mocks Truth in Japanese, and somehow Truth understands. Truth doesn’t want Carmella or a match at Summerslam, he wants Shinsuke tonight! Will Paige give Truth what he wants? Will Truth regret asking for it after?

 

Byron Saxton interviews The Miz via titantron.

It is official that The Miz VS Daniel Bryan is happening at Summerslam, but why isn’t Miz here tonight? Is he afraid of Bryan? This is why Byron is just a second-rate commentator. Well, then, with Total Bellas renewed for a fourth season, does he feel Miz And Mrs make it that long? Their first two episodes had more views than all of Total Bellas season 3! Miz And Mrs is meme-worthy! No bad reviews on Rotten Tomatoes, too. Miz isn’t on SmackDown is because he’s too big a star right now. But with that match coming, what does he have to say to the WWE Universe? Make sure to watch episode 3 as Miz learns CPR! Bryan needs CPR to revive his career.

But what about their match? Their history goes back to 2010, the original form of NXT! Things have only intensified over these years, is Miz concerned about not backing up his talk? How much do you think Miz has been worried about Bryan these last eight years? Miz has become the biggest superstar, and should be THE WWE Champion! He doesn’t need this match, but Bryan needs this match. This will settle it once and for all. Miz is done sharing the spotlight with someone who hasn’t earned it! Bryan’s called Miz soft for the last time, when Miz was the one wrestling while Bryan was home crying. Miz is sick of fans saying he’s hiding. Miz will expose Bryan for what he is and always will be: beneath Miz.

Speaking of, why is he talking to Byron? Where’s Bryan? Grazing on kale while talking about how great he is? BRYAN ATTACKS!! Bryan is on the set and bashing Miz into the couch! He even fights off the security guards, until Miz smashes him with a glass vase! Miz leaves Bryan down and out, but Bryan gets back up. The Goat is on the hunt, will Bryan finally break Miz in Brooklyn?

 

R-Truth VS Shinsuke Nakamura!

The King of Strong Style pretends not to understand English, but many times it seems “Pretty Ricky” doesn’t understand much of anything. Truth may not get a title shot at Summerslam, but can he prove he’s worthy of a shot down the line? Or will he just get a #Knee2Face for his troubles?

The bell rings and Truth circles with Nakamura. THey tie up but nakamuar knees low and throws more knees into Truth. He has Truth in a corner for Bad Vibrations! Nakamura then dares Truth, “C’MON!” Truth runs in but school boys! ONE, so Truth breaks it down with dance moves. Truth copies “C’MON!” then gets Nakamura with headscissors. Truth hits the calf kick, and shouts “WHAT’S UP!?” Splits to running splash! He hip tosses Nakamura high and hard, his body still works at great levels. Truth runs but misses the scissor kick. He ducks the roundhosue but gets the heel kick. Both men are slow to getting back up, but Nakamura grabs Truth into the armbar, then the Triangle Hold! Truth rolls around to get away, with fans rallying behind him. He reaches for ropes, and gets teh break! Nakamura lets go, but is growing frustrated.

Nakamura kicks Truth while he’s down, then rams in knees to the ribs and shoulders. He toys with Truth, then drags Truth up for a facelock. Nakamura brings Truth around, for the inverted exploder! He then aims from the corner… KINSHASA! Cover, Nakamura wins!

Winner: Shinsuke Nakamura, by pinfall

The champion is still rolling towards Summerslam with another victory. Will Hardy be in any shape to challenge for the title in Brooklyn?

 

The Bludgeon Brothers speak.

Harper & Rowan know that two teams have survived, one having escaped the prison while the other having survived a plunge into madness. But the winner here will face a new test tonight, and then will still have to face the mental and physical torture at Summerslam. “This is going to be fun.”

 

3v2 Handicap: The Bludgeon Brothers VS 3SK!

Harper & Rowan won’t rest easily in the back while their challengers battle it out. They’ve come to Orlando to obliterate. The trio of local competitors fires themselves up, ready to face the champions. They rush out to the ring where 2B wait as patiently as they can. We return to single picture and the bell rings. Rowan tags in right away, and both Brothers dropkick the men on the apron off the apron! The man left gets a SUPERKICK, then a deadlift to a scoop slam on the apron. Harper sets up the other two, for Rowan to run them over! Harper & Rowan take the other two, for suplex stacking! Then a human weapon senton! Rowan goes back to bring up the odd man out, and tags in Harper, for the Bludgeoning! Cover, Bludgeon Brothers win!

Winners: The Bludgeon Brothers, Harper pinning

As if there was ever any doubt. 3SK was SOL the moment they signed up for this match. However, will the winner of tonight’s tournament finals be the team to finally halt their path of destruction?

 

SmackDown Tag Team Championship Contenders Tournament: The New Day VS The Bar!

GM Paige set up this four-team tournament to determine who faces the SmackDown Tag Team Champions, and it has come down to positivity against power. Will it be the fun-loving, flapjack-flipping Big E & Kofi Kingston or the Swiss Cyborg & Celtic Gladiator taking on the duo of doom in Brooklyn?

The fans chant “We Want Pancakes!” while Big E circles with Cesaro. Woods serves them up by air mail while Big E and Cesaro tie up. Cesaro gets a waistlock, but Big E switches. Cesaro turns around to switch again, but Big E powers out and throws Cesaro off. He swivels those hips and it keeps Cesaro on the defensive. Fans rally “New! Day Rocks!” but Cesaro kicks low and puts on a headlock. Cesaro gives Big E a noogie, but Big E powers out. Things speed up and Big E elbows Cesaro down. Tag to Kofi, and Kofi runs to kick Cesaro. Cover, ONE, but Kofi keeps on Cesaro with an arm wrench. Kofi whips but Cesaro reverses. Cesaro runs in and monkey flips Kofi, but Kofi lands on his feet! Kofi dropkicks Cesaro down, covers, TWO.

Kofi wrenches Cesaro’s arm again but Cesaro punches him out. Tag to Sheamus and Sheamus gives a EuroUpper. Sheamus lifts but Kofi slips out. Kofi dropkicks then goes to monkey flip, but Sheamus powers it away. He turns things around and forearms Kofi all the way to the floor! Woods and Big E check on their teammate while Sheamus just grimaces down from the ring. Sheamus fetches Kofi up for a bump off the apron, then a EuroUpper that rocks him to the floor! Fans are a mix of cheers and jeers while Sheamus puts Kofi in the ring. Tag to Cesaro, and Cesaro brings Kofi up into a chinlock.

Kofi endures while fans rally up. Kofi feeds off their energy and fights out. Cesaro whips Kofi but Kofi slides under to try a roll. Cesaro denies it, and manages to tag Sheamus. Kofi can’t get away, The Bar whips for the Bar Lariat. cover, TWO! Sheamus keeps Kofi down in a half-nelson clutch while we go to break.

SmackDown returns, and Cesaro argues with the ref over a count. But he and Sheamus are still confident they’ve got this in the bag. Cesaro keeps Kofi down and in The Bar’s corner. Fans rally and Kofi fights back! Kofi tries but can’t escape, he ends up caught by Cesaro. He grabs the rope, then tosses Cesaro out! Kofi crawls for the New Day corner, but Cesaro returns to intercept. Tag to Sheamus, then Sheamus whips Kofi to a corner. Kofi dodges, Sheamus hits post, hto tag to Big E! Big E throws Sheamus overhead, then to the side with belly2belly suplexes! He fires up and swivels his hips , but has to clothesline Cesaro first. Sheamus rolls up, TWO, so he knees Big E. But he runs into an urenage! Cover, TWO!

Big E and the fans rally up with “New! Day Rocks!” Tag to Kofi, and scoop for Sheamus. Sheamus lips out and shoves Big E. They collide, tag to Cesaro! Alley-oop sends Kofi at Sheamus! SOS for Cesaro! Cover, TWO!! Cesaro hits Kofi but Big E tags in. Ceasro whips Kofi but Kofi catches Cearo for a reversal and trip! Kofi drags Cearo tot he apron, Big E hits the apron splash! Wait, Cesaro moved! Big E hits the apron itself, so Kofi leaps at Sheamus! But Sheamus has Kofi, for the rolling senton. Sheamus gets back to his corner, tags in, then The Bar double DDT’s! Cover, TWO!! How?! The Bar can’t believe it, and the fans are still with The New Day.

Sheamus puts Big E back in the corner and stomps him out. Tag to Cesaro, and The Bar split the wishbone. Tag back to Sheamus, for another wishbone. Sheamus tags Cesaro back again, for a hat trick of wishbones! They toy with Big E as they cover, TWO. The Bar is in control while we go to one more break.

SmackDown returns once more, and Big E endures a Half Crab. He turns himself over but Sheamus stomps his stomach. Sheamus drags Big E up and over to the corner, then hoists him up top. Sheamus climbs up to throw hands on Big E, but Big E clubs back. Big E pushes Sheamus down, but Cesaro tags in to boot Big E back! Tag back to Sheamus, and he goes across the way. Cesaro SUPERPLEXES Big E! Sheamus adds a flying knee drop! Cover, TWO!! Another shocking survival, and The Bar is again furious. Sheamus stomps Big E, then goes for a Cloverleaf. The fans know “This is Awesome!” while Big E prevents the roll. Big E shoves Sheamus all the way out! He crawls for Kofi, but Cesaro helps Sheamus back in. Hot tags!

Kofi flies in to hit Cesaro, then Sheamus! He hits Cesaro again and is all fired up! New Day Boom Drop! But Sheamus drags Cesaro out. Kofi sees this, builds speed, and FLIES! He bowls them both over! Kofi puts Cesaro in, then climbs up top. Kofi leaps, flying double stomps! Cover, but Sheamus breaks it. Sheamus runs but is tossed out. Cesaro stalks Kofi, for a back suplex. Kofi lands on his feet, but ends up in a cradle. Tag to Sheamus, hand-off into a double backbreaker! Cover, TWO!! The New Day is tougher than The Bar remembers, but Cesaro coaches Sheamus up.

Sheamus gets to a corner, and powers up for the Brogue. Kofi slowly stands, Sheamus runs at him, but misses! Kofi runs into an elbow. Cesaro tags in, but Kofi takes him out. Kofi hits Sheamus with a dropkick, tag to Big E! Scoop, Kofi climbs, but Cesaro intercepts! Sheamus switches it up, A-Swiss-ted White Noise! Cover, KOFI BREAKS IT! Sheamus throws Kofi to barriers, but Woods knows there’s still life for his team. Big E and Cesaro brawl with haymakers and EuroUppers. Cesaro kicks low, then swings Big E around! Then, Sharpshooter! Big E endures, but he’s stuck in the middle of the ring. Woods gets the fans fired up again, and Kofi comes in. Sheamus intercepts Kofi, but ends up in a tornado DDT!

Woods helps Kofi, and Big E drags himself around towards ropes. But Cesaro shifts to a crossface! Big E rolls, but is still in the hold! Cesoar pulls back hard, but Big E won’t give up. Big E powers up and out, and lifts Cearo at the same time! Tag to Kofi! Kofi climbs, Cearo is scooped, MIDNIGHT HOUR!! Cover, The New Day wins!!

Winners: The New Day, Kofi pinning; will face The Bludgeon Brothers for the SmackDown Tag Team Championships at Summerslam

This match in itself was worthy of a PPV event! The New Day put so much into this match, can they hope to put even more into their rematch with Harper & Rowan? Or will positivity be pummeled into the dirt?

 


 

My Thoughts:

Summer is SmackDown’s time to shine it seems, because they again outdid Raw without having to do much. SmackDown is again doing a “Raw, but better” format with Charlotte and Becky paralleling Sasha and Bayley. The missing element with Bayley and Sasha was a title, or just fighting it out in a match. Charlotte and Becky will get their match, and that could be a catalyst for the dysfunction. At the same time, they could tenuously remain friends, until something else makes Becky snap and turn Heel. My best guess would be the compounding of not winning the title at Summerslam or at Hell in a Cell, not winning the inevitable Women’s Tag Titles at WWE Evolution, and then not winning what I expect to be Four Horsewomen VS Four Horsewomen at Survivor Series. And it will be Becky turning, we’ve already had Heel Charlotte in the past.

Hooray! We’re getting Miz VS Bryan! Miz’s promo and the following attack from Bryan were both great, and I can’t wait for the actual match. Orton gives a very similar promo to what he said last week, but he still delivered it with great motivation. His story with Hardy and Nakamura is still pretty creative for WWE, but I’m still waiting for something to make it a triple threat. Truth has a great moment being his goofy, loopy self, but I really do wonder if he’ll get one more go at a title. Maybe it’ll be by luck that he gets a shot. I would love to see him become Mr. Money in the Bank, and then cash in on every title it doesn’t apply to. AJ Styles does pretty good with his response promo, but Samoa Joe also does good with simply laughing it off.

Vega VS Lana rematch was good mostly to further this breakdown of Team Rusev Day. Almas & Vega move up the ranks for their own purposes, but it saddens me that Rusev Day the team is falling apart. I wish SmackDown had timed things better with their picture to picture, I totally missed the last words of Team 3SK. I also didn’t catch their names, Harper & Rowan decimated them too fast. It was an interesting juxtaposition to the amazing tag team main event with so many near falls. This match could’ve gone either way, but New Day wins for one more go at Harper & Rowan. The story of this rematch could make this another instant classic, and I really do hope New Day wins to freshen things up again.

My Score: 8/10

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Coverage

Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Live Results & Report! (12/11/18)

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SmackDown brings us a Wrestlemania Rematch this close to TLC! The Queen ended the Empress of Tomorrow’s undefeated streak, but will history repeat itself?

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Daniel Bryan VS Mustafa Ali; Bryan wins.
  • The Miz & Shane McMahon VS Chip & Chad; The Miz & Shane win.
  • Samoa Joe & Shinsuke Nakamura VS Jeff Hardy & Rusev w/ Lana; wins.
  • Naomi VS Mandy Rose; wins.
  • Charlotte Flair VS Asuka; wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Daniel Bryan heads to the ring!

Or should we say, the new Daniel Bryan. Either way, the WWE Championship will be on the line against the Phenomenal AJ Styles. However, it’s a minor miracle Styles can even compete after what this Daniel Bryan did to his leg at the end of last week. Fans boo and jeer this Bryan as he picks up a mic. Bryan recalls calling the WWE Universe a bunch of sheep. He wants to apologize for that. Bryan wants to apologize to sheep. Sheep don’t deserve to be compared to such idiots! They’re not the ones destroying the planet with endless consumption. It’s not a “carbon hoof print.” The fans aren’t sheep. They’re parasites! Fans disagree, and believe “Daniel Sucks!” He just calls them fickle.

As he was saying, fans are parasites because they take and take and give nothing in return, especially in Las Vegas. But Bryan isn’t surprised, because fans latched on tot he Old Bryan and lived vicariously through him. That’s what the Yes Movement really was. “Well guess what? The Old Daniel Bryan is dead! And the Yes Movement is dead!” But just like any parasite, the fans have moved on to a new “fickle field”. And these idiots all sit on the couch in the House that AJ Styles Built. Fans cheer for Styles, but Bryan reminds us he is the WWE Champion! And at TLC, Bryan vows to crush Styles’ dream of reclaiming the title, and then the announcement will be “Still WWE Champion, the NEW Daniel Bryan!”

Do fans not believe him? “No! No!” Well Bryan debates with friends all the time, “sometimes you don’t know whether your’e stupid or you deliberately pull the wool over your eyes so you don’t have to realize the facts.” Stupidity is the deliberate cultivation of ignorance. Like in Vegas! But wait, here comes Bryan’s opponent for tonight, the Beacon of Light, Mustafa Ali! Ali responds to Bryan with an introduction, but Bryan already knows who he is. The idiot fans might not but Bryan does. And he knows they’re having a match later, but Ali can join him now. Bryan gives Ali an introduction, and it seems fans do know who he is. Ali is the Heart of 205 Live, and is an incredible performer. Bryan sees a lot of his former self in Ali.

So Bryan gives Ali advice: they don’t need to have this match tonight. Bryan tells Ali that the fans won’t care, “they’re too self-absorbed” and xenophobic. These fickle fans do not deserve this great match. Fans boo so Bryan calls them all fickle. But Ali wants to know what happened to Bryan. Bryan inspired wrestlers like Ali to become a superstar. The entire 205 Live roster looks up to Bryan because Bryan stood toe to toe with any giant and proved he had heart. So what happened? Bryan talks about the Old Bryan, but that Old Bryan would want a fight. Ali wants a fight! Bryan paces while fans chant “Fight! Fight!” Bryan asks Ali what kind of car he drives. What does that have to do with this? But, it’s an SUV.

Bryan doesn’t like that. Ali is small, why does he need a car so big? Well, he has a wife and kids- Bryan slaps him! Bryan says Ali is ignorant, and slaps him again. So Ali fights back! Bryan whips but Ali reverses and headscissors Bryan tot he apron! Then dropkicks Bryan out, and leaps with a senton! Ali looks to shut this New Bryan up, next!

 

Daniel Bryan VS Mustafa Ali!

SmackDown returns as Bryan whips Ali and knocks him down with a kitchen sink knee. Bryan drags Ali up for a headbutt then toys with him. Fans boo as Bryan taunts Ali then bumps him off buckles. Bryan kicks away on Ali in the corner, then soaks up the heat. Bryan drags Ali up with an arm wrench, then whips him corner to corner. Ali goes up but Bryan catches him with a kick. Bryan kicks Ali while he’s down, then drops knees. Bryan hooks Ali’s face but lets up at 4. Ali gets to a corner but Bryan rocks him with a European Uppercut. Bryan grabs Ali for a toehold, then drops an elbow on the knee. Bryan hooks the legs and grabs at the arms. Ali resists so Bryan hooks the nose instead!

Bryan lets up at 4, then hooks the nose again. He lets go at 4, and then lets off the legs to stomp Ali on the back! Fans boo but Bryan soaks up the heat. Bryan stalks Ali and gives him the Yes Kicks. OR perhaps now, the “No Kicks” because fans say “No!” with each one. Bryan aims but Ali dodges to kick back! Ali SUPERKICKS Bryan in the back, covers, TWO! Bryan bails out but Ali builds speed to wreck him with a dropkick! Ali slingshots but Bryan dodges to send Ali into the post! Bryan grins while we go picture in picture.

Ali is down while Bryan catches his breath. Bryan climbs up top to make sure everyone can see him. Then he goes back for Ali on the outside, but leaves him for dead. Bryan soaks up the heat and counts along, but Ali gets in at 9! Bryan looks annoyed by the resilient Ali. He kicks Ali while he’s down, then drags him up. Bryan snap suplexes Ali down, then heads up top. Ali gets up and stops Bryan! Ali climbs up to join Bryan, and hits a SUPER SPANISH FLY!! But Ali flounders away, he crawls back to a cover, TWO!! Ali was so close to pinning THE WWE Champion! He hurries to put Bryan in a drop zone and goes back up. But Bryan trips Ali off and Ali hits the floor!

Bryan gets Ali back into the ring fast, and wraps on the No Lock! Ali moves around, enduring the hold. Bryan wrenches back hard, but Ali doesn’t give up. Ali drags himself and Bryan towards ropes as we return to single picture. Ali reaches, and gets the ropebreak! Bryan lets go, but is simply annoyed further. Bryan drags Ali up and puts him on the top rope backwards. He pulls Ali down into the Tree of Woe and gives more No Kicks. Bryan runs corner to corner, and hits a dropkick! Bryan drags Ali out of the Tree, then puts him back up. He climbs up behind Ali, but Ali slips out of the Super Back Suplex! Ali dodges Bryan and Bryan hits buckles! Ali CHOPS Bryan, and again, and again! Bryan kicks back and bump Ali off buckles.

Bryan whips but Ali reverses. Ali gets under Bryan to hit the tornado DDT! Cover, TWO! Ali again comes close and is shocked. Bryan ends up in a drop zone and Ali hurries up again. Ali leaps, 0-5-4 FLOPS! Bryan drags Ali over and slams his leg into the post! And again! And again! Ali crawls away but Bryan comes around from the corner to chop block the leg! Bryan drags Ali into the Heel Hook! Ali taps, Bryan wins!

Winner: The New Daniel Bryan, by submission

The WWE Champion’s new mean streak helps him snuff out the Beacon of Light tonight in Vegas! However, The Phenomenal One is coming for payback, will he become the new champion?

But Bryan isn’t done with Ali! He attacks Ali on the stage with those savage stomps! And he puts the Heel Hook on again! Ali taps but it doesn’t matter. More referees appear and Bryan lets Ali go. Fans boo but Bryan revels in it as he holds up his title. This mean streak runs deep, will it be the key to keeping the New Bryan the current champion?

 

Awww Vegas~! It’s time for a Rap Battle!

The New Day come out to host a special battle of bars between The Usos and The Bar!

SmackDown returns as Kofi Kingston, Xavier Woods and Big E stand ready as judges for this second ever SmackDown Rap Battle. Meanwhile, The Bar look like they stepped out from the 90’s. Now they’ll all be battling in the SmackDown Tag Team Championship Triple Threat. The Bar requested this battle but the New Day won’t allow for any funny business. Sheamus starts off, “This has gone too far, Big Tony, hit them with the bar.” Cesaro starts a beat for “Ice Ice Shamy.” The Bar basically parody Vanilla Ice. Fans don’t know whether to laugh or boo. The New Day rank that… a trash can out of 10.

As for the Usos, Jimmy and Jey take a moment to collect themselves. “It’s the Usos VS the Bar in a rap off, I’m like it can’t be. What the hell are they about to talk about, UCe?” “Sheamus’ hair grease. Cesaro’s mouth piece.” The Usos got cheated, defeated, they removed it from their memories like Woken Hardy: DELETED. They beat the Ninja Turtles, and now it’s on to Bebop and Rock Steady. “FELLA~!” Mr. Movie Star, they’re not stealing a line but that was booty. Usos show love, like cupid. Sheamus looks dumb. No, like stupid! Is Sheamus purposefully staying white like chalk? Does he have Cesaro help him with the mohawk? Brogue Kicks VS Superkick, ain’t no pump action, those come from the hip, hit you in the teeth. But how do you knock Cesaro’s teeth out with no knuckles? I dunno. Let’s introduce our friend, Mr. Turnbuckle.

Hello, Mr. Turnbuckle! How did it feel? Well when he pushed Cesaro’s teeth down his throat, we learned who’s the real man of steel. Cesaro the Swiss Superman, right? King of Swing, right? But that won’t matter against their Uso kryptonite! The Bar sets the bar? No this is a true tag team, they’re the stars. Ten years, still going hard, zero injuries, Uso Iron Man! Tony Stark!! The Usos are bulletproof, are the truth and still have fun. Back to back tag team of the year, six time champs coming soon. The Bar, New Day, Usos, Sunday, Welcome to the Uso Penitentiary! The Bar have heard enough, they start swinging! The Usos are ready, and they hit back! Cesaro and Sheamus get sent out, and then the Usos are ready to throw with The New Day.

But The Bar comes back to blow it all up! BROGUE for Jey, and then a beating for the hosts! Jey gets up, but gets A-Swiss-ted White Noise! The Bar hold up their titles, and as the Usos said themselves, “We ARE the Bar!” Will #RunBAR continue to run the SmackDown Tag Team Division after TLC’s Triple Threat?

 

Asuka speaks.

“I thought nobody would be ready for Asuka. I was wrong, I was not ready, I made one mistake.” The mistake was Asuka let up. But this Sunday, Asuka will kick, strike, climb and grab that title to win. As for tonight, Charlotte won’t be ready this time! The Empress is fired up, will she settle the score from back at Wrestlemania?

 

The Miz is in the ring!

He holds the World Cup trophy, and tells Shane McMahon that while it’s his week to have custody, Miz needs to speak his mind. Miz wants Shane to come out, and doesn’t want to have to beg. Fans want to see him beg. Miz concedes, and kneels. He bends the knee, and asks Shane come out to talk. This is bigger than a trophy, so please come out. Shane O’Mac appears! He joins Miz in the ring, and says “What’s up, Las Vegas?” And what is up with Miz? Is he okay? Why is Miz out here with the trophy? It’s the only way Miz can get through to him! Shane won’t respond to him. They can be so good together, if he’d just give Miz a chance.

Miz knows Shane is scared, and so is Miz. But Shane owes Miz one. They should tag together again. If they lose, fine, this can stop. But if they win, they can be the #BestTeamintheWorld! Shane thinks this is getting weird. No, the trophy is just a symbol. They can be so much more! Then enlighten him. Okay, fine. Miz will say this for the first time in his life. In fact, Miz will show him! Get a referee out here! A referee appears. They’ll take on Chip & Chad, The Vegas Boys! Chip & Chad appear, and the match is set?

The Miz & Shane McMahon VS Chip & Chad!

Shane is very confused, and tries to reason with Miz while the bell rings. Chip and Chad attack Shane! Miz is shocked, but he coaches Shane up. Shane fires off fast hands! He knocks Chip(?) down then throws him out! Shane dares Chad(?) to fight, and he lights him up with jabs! Shane whips then hits a big back elbow. He hits Chip away and then gives Chad a float-over DDT! Fans want Miz to get in, but he’s busy holding the world cup. Shane brings Chad into a triangle hold! Miz is already celebrating before Chad taps out. Shane & Miz win!

Winners: The Miz & Shane McMahon, Shane by submission

The Best Team in the World finally succeeds! But Miz is clearly more pumped then Shane is about it. Will Shane come around and join Miz on this tag team journey to the top? Or is Miz just seeing what he wants to see?

 

Paige is furious with the referee.

They can’t just be making matches without the GM’s consent! Especially with the commissioner. But The Miz said she gave permission. Paige sees what’s going on now. But just as she tells the ref to hush, Chip & Chad come in, with invoices. The Miz said they were getting paid $5000 each for that match. Paige tears up the invoices, and tells everyone to leave. Will the GM have words for the overly ambitious A-Lister?

 

Randy Orton heads to the ring!

The Viper prepares for a Chairs Match with the King of Lucha Libre! These two will be able to do whatever they want with those infamous steel weapons. Orton brings one into the ring with him, and says “Nothing like a good ol’ fashioned solid steel chair, am I right?” They’re built for comfort, but can also make a statement. Orton rolls footage of how he’s used these chairs to brutalize Rey Mysterio these last few weeks, namely wrapped around Mysterio’s head before being thrown into a steel post. Orton likes that, but perhaps we can do better. He rolls more footage, as he did very much the same thing, but throwing Mysterio into steel steps this time.

“Now let me get this straight.” Mysterio knows he has a Chairs Match, and is okay with that? Everyone’s seen what Orton does to his opponent, yet Mysterio is okay with that? Mysterio must think he’ll get his revenge. But Mysterio is a victim, and victims don’t get revenge. The locker room will be worried about TLC, but Mysterio needs to be worried about RKO. But Mysterio SMACKS Orton from behind! Mysterio jabs the chair into Orton, then SMACKS him again! Then he tosses the chair at Orton, to dropkick it in his head! Orton is on the ropes, and Mysterio hits the 619! Orton bails out, but Mysterio wants more! Will the Viper be a victim after Sunday?

 

Backstage interview with Becky Lynch.

If Charlotte Flair and Asuka beat each other up badly enough, does that give her an advantage in the SmackDown Women’s Championship TLC? Advantage? Becky’s getting back in the ring, road testing both her banged up face and her banged up brain, in one of the most dangerous matches in all of WWE. And not just against one but two of the best. So no, there is no advantage. But Becky still loves it. Fighting against the odds is what Becky does. And doctors can get all twitchy, but she’ll still scout her opponents tonight. And then on Sunday, she’ll remind all of us how much chaos can happen when The Man comes around.

 

Samoa Joe & Shinsuke Nakamura VS Jeff Hardy & Rusev w/ Lana!

The Destroyer wants to remind the Enigma of his troubled past, while the King of Strong Style wants to make it clear the Super Athlete will never relive his glory days. Will Hardy and Rusev uniting be enough to show Joe and Nakamura that it’s not about the past but the future?

 

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Joe’s Lucha Libre Weekly: News & Analysis (12/9/10)

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What happened in CMLL, AAA, and the world of Lucha Libre this week? Joe Dinan has you covered!




CMLL

Last Friday Arena Mexico

So this was the Legends of Mexico show or Leyenda de Mexicana. The main event was a legends match which… wasn’t exactly good. It’s fun to see legends in the ring, and that’s why the fans were there but judging from a match point of view they couldn’t really move well. The match included Rayo de Jalisco, Atlantis, and Blue Panther vs Mascara Ano 2000, Canek, and Villano IV. In fairness Blue Panther can still move really well for his age. Rayo, Blue Panther, and Atlantis won the match. There was a 6 man tag titles match between Los Guerrero’s facing Sanson, Cuatrero, and Forastero. Los Guerrero’s retained their titles. Mano Negra, Solar, and Felino faced off against Fuerza Guerrera, Jerry Estrada who hasn’t been in Arena Mexico for 25 years, and Negro Navarro. That match was okay.

Arena Puebla Monday Show

The main event saw Rush and Terrible facing Volador and Diamante Azul. Volador and Azul won the match and at the end Terrible wanted to face Volador in a match. That’ll happen in the future I assume. Co Main event saw Atlantis, Soberano, and Valiente facing Felino, Bucanero, and Cavernario. It was a fun match with the latter winning.

Arena Mexico Tuesday Show

The main event of this show saw Sanson, Cuatrero, and Forastero facing Atlantis, Angel de Oro, and Niebla Roja. This was a fun match which saw the latter winning. I feel like they’re setting up an Atlantis match with Sanson out of this. Titan, Triton, and Esfinge faced off against Mephisto, Luciferno, and Ephesto. It was a really fun match with Mephisto, Luciferno, and Ephesto winning. Misterioso defeated Black Panther in a lightning match as well.

Arena Mexico Friday

The card this Friday sees the main event being Volador Jr facing Ultimo Guerrero in a singles match. It doesn’t appear that the heavyweight championship is on the line. Atlantis, Valiente, and Azul face Rush, Terrible, and Cavernario in the co main event. This really isn’t that big or important of a show based off the match card. I don’t expect the attendance to be over 10,000 this week.




AAA

AAA was live on Twitch on December 2nd. Every title was on the line but the story during the show was Brian Cage sent in a video message with Melissa Santos explaining in Spanish that he had a ton of injuries and couldn’t make it to the show. I think that was just to save face since Fenix also couldn’t wrestle because Cage just worked a match on Wednesday. Fenix comes out to cut a promo and explain things. The fans boo him because AAA stupidly kept promoting the match knowing for 9 days that Fenix wasn’t going to wrestle. He even mentioned it on their Lucha Capital show on Facebook the previous Wednesday. The false advertisement and use of card subject to change to trick the fans is bullshit. Subject to change means the card changes if an injury or last minute thing happens. It’s not a free pass to advertise matches you know you’re never going to do. Anyway on to the card.

Lady Shani won the title in the first match. Keyra was supposed to be in the match to make it a 5 way but she was at a WWE try out in Chile. So it was a four way and Scarlett Bordeaux left the match mid way through. So Shani won the match after Faby had a spat with the ref. The next match built on the angle of Mascara and Maximo. Mascara and his team win the match further continuing the feud. There’s talks of Maximo and Mascara being in a hair vs hair match.

Laredo Kid, Hijo Del Vikingo, and Angelikal who is now called Myzteziz Jr, as AAA La Parka pronounced him earlier in the show (Have fun typing Myzteziz.), faced Porde de Norte for the 6 man tag titles. The story going in here was the former team beat Porde de Norte 3 straight times so conventional thinking is they won’t win this match, but they actually did, crowning new champs. There was an impromptu match afterwards where Vikingo was taken out by the OGTs and La Parka replaced him. They still beat the OGTs, later we learned this match was because there was no Fenix vs Cage match.

Pagano and Joe Lider faced Ciclope and Miedo Extremo and Texano and Rey Escorpion for the tag titles in a hardcore match. It wasn’t as hardcore as the previous matches but it was still pretty hardcore. Texano and Rey retain their titles. Fantasma faced Drago to defend his Latin American championship. The story of the match was Fantasma was dominating and Drago just kept kicking out and Drago basically rolled him up for the win. As said before Cage and Fenix didn’t wrestle.

The main event was between Blue Demon Jr and Killer Kross facing Dr. Wagner Jr and Psycho Clown. Scarlett came out with Kross to distract. Vampiro came out to stop her but Kross kills him. Kross and Blue Demon ended up winning and Scarlett was hitting Wagner after the match. You know she’s going to get hers soon. Better not show anyone in the United States. They’ll complain to Roshfrans.

AAA on Twitch 12/8

There’s a show on the 8th which isn’t much of a star driven show. The main event features Dr. Wagner Jr, Psycho Clown, and Pagano facing Blue Demon Jr, Killer Kross, and Rey Escorpion. I’m sure Scarlett Bordeaux will be by ring side for that. The Co-Main event sees the OGTs facing Porde de Norte. That’s Averno, Chessman, and Super Fly vs Mocho Cota Jr, Carta Brava Jr, and Tito Santana. Aerostar will face Monster Clown in a special singles match. Laredo Kid, Hijo Del Vikingo and a luchador surprise who might just be Myzteziz Jr will face Taurus, Australian Suicide, and Jack Evans.




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