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Chris’ IMPACT! Wrestling One Night Only: Night of the Dummies Report

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Welcome to a SPECIAL EDITION (the second of the WEEK) of Chris’ IMPACT! Wrestling Results!!

Tonight, is IMPACT! Wrestling’s One Night Only: Night of the Dummies, exclusively on the GWN app

 

QUICK RESULTS

  • Jay Freddie d. Isys Ephex – pin fall, Leaping DDT
  • Fallah Bahh d. “Super Cop” Dick Justice – pin fall, Banzai Drop
  • Slyck Wagner Brown d. Axel Lennox – pin fall, Top Rope Sit Out Dominator
  • Alisha d. Rebel – pin fall, Backpack Stunner
  • Team Tremendous d. Heavenly Bodies – pin fall, Doomsday Sliced Bread, Dan pins Dustin
  • Street Fight: Santana d. Homicide – pin fall, Frog Splash
  • Sean Carr d. Brute Vanslyke – pin fall, Swanton Bomb
  • Moose d. KM – pin fall, Spear
  • Eddie Edwards d. Eli Drake – pin fall, DDT

___________________________________________________________________________________

IMPACT! Wrestling One Night Only: Night of the Dummies

Coming to you from a really small arena in Binghamton, New York, this is Night of the Dummies (YEAH!)

Match One: Jay Freddie vs Isys Ephex

The ring announcer mistakenly calls this a triple threat match

Josh Matthews and Sonjay Dutt calling the action

Arm ringers from both with some chain wrestling to start. Isis with a huge shoulder tackles, and Jay with a receipt. Two arm drags by Jay and a drop kick to take down Isys. Second drop kick and a cover for two. Jay charges the corner, gets placed on top and kicks away Isys, and hits a missile drop kick. Suicide dive puts Jay into the crowd (as they as SUPER close).

Back in the ring, Jay tries to hit a cross body, Isys tries a backbreaker counter and misses. Seated arm bar by Isys and punches to the gut. Cover for one. They exchange chops until Isys knees the midsection and moves Jay to the corner. Shoulder blocks, and he dumps Jay into the middle of the ring. Cover for two.

Punch exchange by both men, Isys gets a knee in and goes for a suplex thats blocked three times, and he drop kicks Jay’s knee out from under him. Supplies by Isys reversed into a reverse DDT by Jay, both men down. Running back elbows by Jay followed by a clothesline. Leg lariat by Jay after a missed clothesline, and a gut wrench duplex gets a 2-count.

Jay up to the second turnbuckle, leaps off to nothing, charges the corner by Isys gets a boot up and hits a DDT for 2. Kick to the back. Jay counters into a Tiger Driver for 2 and 3/4. Jay misses the Shining Wizard and counters in to the Awful Waffle (not making that up) for a 2-count. Isys puts Jay on the top buckle, gets head butted off and Jay hits leaping DDT for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Jay Freddie

Video of Eli Drake playing piano… horribly. He also can’t sing… Welcomes us to the show, says he’s gathered the top talent for us tonight. Sends us to his “guest correspondent” on the street to get the people’s reaction, and he sends it to Eli Drake.

Match Two: Dick Justice vs Fallah Bahh

Dick Justice was the “stand by wrestler” in IMPACT!, but here he is known as “The Super Cop”

Bahh tries to get a chant for himself, but the crowd just chants “Dick”. They shake hands and the fans chant “we want Dick.” Sumo charge and neither man goes down. Justice off the ropes, shoulder charge gets nothing “No No No” from Bahh. Bahh off the ropes with the same result. Second shoulder charge, and a third and fourth, and fifth. No result and now both men are winded. Both men off the ropes, collide and both men go down and out of the ring.

For some reason this starts the first Saintly Fecal Matter chant of the night…

Bahh charges in and they both hit a clothesline. Justice tries a slam, gets nothing but a double sledge to the back. Bahh charges Justice in the corner who pulls out a finger gun (yes, he made a gun shape with his fingers) and that stops Bahh in his tracks and Bahh puts his hands up. Justice orders Bahh to get on the ground, Bahh prays for his life and kisses the finger gun. The Bahh asks “No No No?” and Justice puts the finger gun away in his fanny pack that he’s still wearing. Justice goes for a hug, and Bahh hits a Samoan Drop.

Bahh hits a series of headbutts and then a Hadouken (WHAT?!?!) that takes Justice down. Bahh hits a dropkick (-ish) and then rolls over Justice. Bahh covers for two. Chop exchange by both men, Justice chops him into the corner, then calls time out as he’s winded. More chops then charges across and eats an elbow from Bahh. Bahh then charges and Justice moves and Bahh eats post. Left hand punches from Justice followed by a right, and he bodyslams Bahh.

Justice then leaves the ring and poses for the crowd.  Justice returns to the ring and Bahh hits a belly to belly on Justice. Drags Justice to the corner, Banzai Drop for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Fallah Bahh

After the match, they shake hands and hug it out before Bahh leaves.

Backstage interview with Moose as he gets sentimental about how Binghampton sucks. Talks about how he gets to wrestle KM, saying he didn’t even know there was a man on the IMPACT! roster named KM…

Backstage now with Dick Justice, saying how he isn’t a stand by wrestler, he’s the Super Cop, and how he was going to put Bahh away, but Bahh is one of the smartest men he’s ever faced. Says next time, Justice will be served

Match Three: Slyck Wagner Brown vs Axel Lennox

Lennox looks like a reject from The Ascension…

Collar and elbow tie up to start. Side headlock by Brown, whipped off into a shoulder block, Lennox off the ropes into one of his own and takes down Brown. Chain wrestling take downs leads to a spot where Brown visually signals for Lennox to grab his wrist, which he does, just for Brown to duck under and escape and try his reverse DDT, but Lennox escapes as well.

Back to the collar and elbow. Wrist control to Lennox, but a leg sweep by Brown into a headlock. Lennox runs to the rope but Brown clotheslines his over the top. Brown grabs a fans water bottle and hits Lennox in the head with it. Clothesline by Brown on the floor. Lennox fights back and slams Brown’s face in to the guardrail twice. Lennox breaks up the nonexistent count, which now the referee starts…

Lennox places Brown on the apron and hits a leg drop. Back in the ring, he covers Brown for two. Lennox hits a scoop slam and an elbow drop again for two. Matthews says this maybe a rivalry, Sonjay says its one we know nothing about. Way to build the match guys…

Lennox goes for a suplex, Brown cradles for two. Double clothesline, both men down. Brown charges out of the corner with two clotheslines, then a short DDT after whipping Lennox off the ropes. Reversals a plenty until Lennox hits a spine buster for two. Cutter by Lennox, covers again for two. Punch exchange in the middle of the ring. Goes to the corner by Wagner hits a drop kick and then a power bomb. picks up Lennox, sets him on the top buckle and hits an enziguri to the back, then a sit out Dominator off the top for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Slyck Wagner Brown

An earlier today segment plays, Eddie is looking for his wife. Eddie finds potato salad, decides to take it. Finally finds her in the Knockout’s dressing room and offers her potato salad. Alisha calls Eddie the biggest dummy here and kicks him out.

Match Four: Rebel vs Alisha

Handshake to start, chest bumps from Rebel. Arm ringer by Alisha, Rebel just throws her across the ring and calls Alisha tiny. Waist lock, Rebel just walks her to the rope and hits an elbow. Alisha looking for a crucifix for one, backslide attempt is reversed, Rebel misses a kick on the ropes, Alisha gets a schoolgirl for two. Headlock take over by Alisha, Rebel just stands up. Rebel picks her up and plants her face first and dances over Alisha, then chokes Alisha on the second rope.

Rebel slams Alisha into the turnbuckle, then a second one, and a third. Rebel then hits a handspring clothesline, pulls out Alisha and goes for a delayed suplex, Alisha rolls her up and the roll back and fourth for a few two counts. Alisha chops, Rebel misses a few kicks, and then takes down Alisha. Shining Wizard by Rebel gets two. Alisha catches a kick and makes Rebel do the splits, hits a dropkick for two.

Alisha goes for a body scissor, Rebel grabs the hair and then face plants Alisha for two. Off the ropes, Rebel hits a roundhouse kick and celebrates. Referee checks Alisha to see if she’s knocked out, she’s not, Rebel covers for two. Rebel goes for the handspring clothesline again but Alisha moves and hits a palm strike and forearms to take down Rebel. Alisha hits a charging forearm and a bulldog for two.

Rebel hits a scoop slam, goes to the second buckle. Alisha hits the worst looking backpack stunner for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Alisha

They shake hands and hug it out after

Backstage with Eli Drake, he congratulates Alisha, and Jimmy Jacobs is sitting behind him. Jacobs wonders why he’s not on the card tonight. Eli says he will have a special Fact of Life, and Jacobs can be the guest.

Alisha backstage, says she can hang with the best of the Knockout’s Division.

Match Five: Heavenly Bodies [Desirable Dustin & Gigolo Justin] vs Team Tremendous [Detective Dan Berry & Detective Billy Carr]

Justin starts against Dan. Shoulder tackles takes down Justin and into a headlock. Forearm by Justin, punches from Dan. dropkick by Dan takes him down. Tags in Billy who chops him in the corner. Scoop slam, tags in Dan who hits a senton over the top rope for two. Knee by Justin and he tags in Dustin. Dropkick by Dan and he whips Dustin into the rope. Charges but is sent over the top, he elbows Justin, and Dustin, before Justin knocks Dan off the ring.

Cover by Dustin for 2. Dustin then throws Dan back out and Justin hits a senton off the apron. Justin tags in and rolls Dan back, cover for two. Short arm clothesline gets two again. Uppercut and he tags in Dustin who hits a leg lariat for two. Ground and pound by Dustin before Dan starts fighting back. Justin tags in, Dustin hits an arm ringer and Justin hits a moonsault off Dustin, referee is distracted, and finally counts for a one. Sanjay and Josh are talking about Josh frosting his tips here, it seems they’ve lost interest too.

Dan fights back, but can’t escape. Dan then whips Justin over the top rope, and Dan tries to tag Bill, but Dustin pulls him off the apron. Bodies double stop Dan in their corner. Justin with a scoop power bomb, go for a rocket launcher, but Dan moves. Justin stops Dan from getting a tag, then he finally does and Billy comes in like a house of fire. Exploder duplex to Justin gets two, Dustin comes off the top, Billy moves and Dustin splashes Justin.  Billy tosses both men, and Dan hits a flip topi onto the Bodies on the outside. Justin is thrown in to Billy, who tosses him with an outsiders edge to a flatliner by Dan. Referee counted to three on the pin, but says he only did two as Dustin breaks it up. Billy gets Justin up for a Doomsday Device, but Dustin tags himself in. Double flap jack on Billy, Dan fights off both men, eats a super kick from Justin and a spinning power bomb from Dustin. Billy then throws Justin in to break up the pin.

Enziguri on Dustin by Dan, Superkick by Billy, Doomsday Sliced Bread by Dan for the 1-2-3

Your Winners: Team Tremendous

From earlier today, we see Homicide, and he says he is LAX, Konnan is despicable, and the little bitches in LAX are going to learn.

The Fact of Life with Eli Drake

Eli Drake comes out. Eli has had a cord hanging down the entire time, and he stops to plug it back in mid way through his talking segment. He pulls out a smart phone to show off the mobile version of the Eli Drake Dummy Button, so we can have a live version of The Facts Of Live. The app plays “Dummy, Yeah” every time you press the screen. He then brings out “The Zombie Princess” Jimmy Jacobs.

Jimmy says tonight is about what Eli needs, as he doesn’t understand what he’s getting into when he faces Eddie Edwards. Drake says he’s insulted by this talk and says he’s out of here, and Jimmy can say and do whatever he wants. Jimmy starts running down Binghamton, and says theres got to be someone out there who needs his help. He then calls out Santana from the LAX

Santana immediately gets in Jacobs’ face, who says he’s here to help. Jacobs also said he’s heard a rumor that Ortiz got jumped by the OGz, meaning Santana is all alone tonight. Jacobs offers to help Santana in his match tonight, one OG to another. Santana looks unimpressed, shakes Jacobs’ hand, and then hits a front kick to his face and a rolling senton in the corner.

Santana then calls out Homicide to start their match.

Match six, Street Fight: Santana vs Homicide (How does this not violate the cease fire?!?!)

Punches by both to start, Santana throws out Homicide and hits a suicide dive. Punches and chops back and forth, Homicide attempts to climb the scaffolding, and Santana hits a bodyslam on the floor. Thrusts to the throat by Homicide, and he chokes Santana on a ringside chair. Homicide then gets the chair, hits Santana in the gut. Homicide then gets a stick from a fan, but gets booted in the gut. Santana then jabs the metal rod into Homicide’s face.

Santana drapes Homicide over the guardrail and slams the chair into his back. Santana then clotheslines Homicide into a fan, poke in the eye by Homicide. Homicide slams Santana into the post and gets the chair. Homicide then tells the fans to shove it, and Santana hits about to the gut and throws a chair at Homicide. Santana throws him back in the ring, goes from a cross body, Homicide rolls through and gets a two count. Moonsault by Santana gets two.

Belly to Belly throw by Homicide off the ropes, and then an exploder by Homicide, bridged in to a two count. Homicide tells fans to suck it and then flips them off before Santana hits a boot to the face in the corner. Homicide puts Santana on the top and hits a cutter off the turnbuckle, gets two before Santana gets his foot on the bottom rope. Homicide threatens the referee before he charges the corner, nobody home as Santana sidesteps. Super kick by Santana, Michinoku Driver by Santana, who goes up top and hits a frog splash for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Santana

Backstage again with Eli Drake, who’s rehydrating. Eli lists off his three favorite moments of the night, all which involve himself. Also says in Fall of 2019, Night of the Dummies 2 will have no Jimy Jacobs as theres no room for princesses on his show.

Santana backstage, says by taking out Ortiz, the OGz have made this put bull more rabid.

Match seven: Brute Vanslyke (w/Father Derek) vs Sean Carr

Collar and elbow, Brute moves Sean into the corner. Collar and elbow again, he throws Sean in this time. Misses a charge, whip out and Bruce cartwheels out. Sunset flip attempt, Brute goes to sit, Sean moves. Standing moonsault by Sean gets one. Sean calls him out, Brute charges and Sean lowers the top rope. Sean hits a rolling sexton off the apron.

Back inside, Sean goes up top, but Father Derek shakes the rope, and a big boot by Brute takes him down. Face rake and Brute chokes him in the corner. Father Derek then chokes Sean on the bottom rope. Brute with a scoop slam followed by an elbow drop for two. Backbreaker by Brute, Sean gets up into another backbreaker. Sean reverses a third into a hurricanrana, putting Brute into the corner. Chops and a charging forearm, then a popup headbutt by Brute, then a cross body for two.

Brute puts Sean on the top, Sean fights back, hits a drop kick but Brute stays up. Enziguri and a Code Breaker, Brute is still up. Sean goes up top and hits a moonsault taking Brute down for a two count. Super kick misses, Bruce hits a wind up chokeslam and gets two. Sean slips out of a Razor’s Edge, can’t whip the big man. Big splash in the corner from Brute. Vader Bomb by Brute for two.

Brute goes back up, but misses a second Vader Bomb. Carr up top, Father Derek interferes, and gets a big boot from Sean on the apron. Brute then throws in Carr, who fights off Brute until Brute hits a left arm lariat. Brute goes up top, misses the splash! Super kick by Carr, and a second, ducks a clothesline and hits a third super kick!! Carr goes up top, Swanton Bomb for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Sean Carr

Fallah Bahh and KM backstage celebrating, but Bahh is upset KM isn’t wearing his matching gear. KM says if he can’t beat Moose wearing his gear, he will wear the matching gear for the rest of his career.

Match eight: Moose vs KM

Moose gets a mic, talking about how he went to Syracuse, just down the road. Says the fans didn’t help his career and Binghamton sucks. Tells KM to hurry up so he can beat him and get out of this God forsaken town.

KM starts the “Douche” chants

Moose ducks in the corner to start. Moose hits a boot, KM hits a shoulder block taking Moose down. Then another. Punch exchange, KM gets the best of it, and clotheslines Moose over the top. Moose pulls KM out and they fight on the floor. Moose goes to chop KM against the ring post, KM ducks and Moose hits his hand.

Moose then rams KM into the post. Referee still isn’t counting…

Moose gets a chair, sits KM in it. Punches and chops, Moose flips off the crowd and hits a running kick to KM’s face in the chair. Moose puts KM back on the chair, goes for the running kick again. KM catches him with a chokeslam on the apron. Finally the referee starts counting…KM asks him to stop counting as he goes and gets Moose. Moose then hits a belly to back duplex on the apron. Moose picks up KM and drops him again on the apron before rolling back in to the ring. KM gets back in to the ring at 9.

Moose uses ground and pound on KM and throws him back out. KM back in at nine again. Stomps from Moose, a snap mare, and a seated dropkick for two. Moose calls for the finish, can’t get KM up for the suplex, so he punches him. Tries the suplex again, KM counters into one of his own. KM puts Moose in the corner, whip reversed, KM boots Moose, but is dropkicked to the floor over the top!

Moose rolls out after KM and whips him into the ring post. Moose grabs the chair again and gives it to a fan. Moose parts the crowd, and fakes like he’s throwing KM into them, but rolls him into the ring. KM hits a baseball slide, and rolls Moose back in. Moose intercepts KM on the way back in, goes off the ropes and eats a POUNCE from KM. Both men down.

Moose thrown KM on the ramp, landing on his feet, KM hits a chokeslam and a slingshot splash for two. KM hits a neck breaker on Moose, Moose reverses a full nelson for two, hits a pump kick and them KM hits a clothesline, and a fell nelson slam for two. KM misses a corner charge, Moose charges into an elbow, and the Moose hits the Go To Hell for two! Moose looks for the Spear, eats a knee. KM behind, and Moose hits a low blow, a Spear, and gets the 1-2-3

Your winner: Moose

Bound For Glory video package

KM backstage wondering what he did wrong. Bahh is in the back eating, KM asks if he’s going to rub in his lost. KM is reminded of the bet, says he was kidding

Match nine: Eli Drake vs Eddie Edwards (w/Kenny the Kendo Stick)

Eddie high fives nearly ever member of the audience (yes the arena is that small)

Eli has a mic. Names Eddie a dummy, and says theres no kendo sticks allowed in a match with him. Tells the ref he has to disqualify him if he won’t get rid of it.

Eddie slaps Eli on the butt, who then rolls out of the ring, grabs a mic and says this is his show, so there will be no “ass slapping” on his show.

Collar and elbow tie up, headlock by Eli. Eddie shoots him off, shoulder tackle by Drake takes him down. Arm drag by Eddie, and a second and Eli rolls out again. Eli has a mic again. Says he hates cheaters, and arm drags are illegal.

Collar and elbow again. Eddie walks him to the corner. Eli with a low blow, and takes Eddie to the other corner. Whip reversed and Eddie hits a belly to belly throw. Eli rolls out again as Eddie does a snow angel in the ring. Eli has a mic and says he hates cheaters, and a braggart, no snow angels are allowed in the match.

Eli reenters and leaves again. Eddie joins him and the fight on the floor. Eli thumbs Eddie’s eye to take advantage, but gets chopped again! Cameras lose both men, as the chops continue. Eli rolls in, followed by Eddie, and he rolls back out. Eli has a mic again. Hates cheaters. Chops are illegal now.

Eli keeps talking and Eddie hits a big boot, sending him to the floor. Eddie goes for a dive, Eli hits him with the mic to the head. Eli now stomps away at Eddie on the floor. Eli makes Eddie wave to a fan, and then slams him back first in to the apron. Eli rolls Eddie onto the apron and hits an elbow. Eli slingshots Eddie into the bottom rope. Seated clothesline for two. Now Eli chokes Eddie on the middle tope, leaps out and slaps Eddie’s face.

Punches from Eddie, and a thumb to Eli’s eyes. Whips Eli across but misses the splash, Eli hits a neck breaker for a two count. Eli drops a knee and chokes Eddie again on the rope. Leg drop across the back on the middle rope. Kicks and a cover for two. Eli drops some elbows and locks on a reverse chin lock. Eddie bites his thumb, Eli lets go and hits a neck breaker for two. Eli then bites Eddie’s thumb. Outside the ring, Eli gets a chair, referee threatens a DQ, Eli says he was just kidding. Eddie then smashed Eli’s face in to the ring. Eddie takes a drink of a fans soda, and spits it into the eyes of Eli. Eli then pulls Eddie face first into the ramp. Eli rolls Eddie back in, covers for one.

Eddie reverses a scoop slam, Eli hits a neck breaker for two. Eddie’s gum here falls out of his mouth, landing on the mat, and he casually picks it back up and continues to chew it, grossing out both Josh and Sonjay. Rear chin lock by Eli, Eddie counters with a jaw breaker. Back to the chin lock, Eli throws Eddie to the buckle, Eddie hits a back elbow and a dropkick, both men are down. Scoop power slam by Eli, and then an elbow drop for two.

Eli picks up Eddie, hitting a snap suplex. Eli to the second rope, Eddie hits an enziguri. Eddie goes up top, hits the Frankensteiner. Punch exchange by both men. Eli takes advantage but Eddie doesn’t feel the pain. Two back elbows and then Eddie sends Eddie to the floor and hits a quebrada. Fans chanting “use the leg” as a fan holds up his prosthetic leg. Eddie takes it. Eddie kisses the prosthetic foot (ewwwww). Eli gets a mic, saying prosthetics are illegal. Eddie hits Eli with the camera man. As the refs was checking on the camera man, Eddie hits Eli with the prosthetic leg, then pretends its his in the ring before giving it back.

Both men back in, Eddie tries a Tiger Driver, hits a gordbuster, then hits the Tiger Driver for two and 3/4!!! Eddie then talks to his kendo stick before picking it up. Referee tries to stop Eddie, fans chant “hit the ref.” Eddie goes up, Eli hits the ref into the ropes dropping Eddie. Eli gets a chair, referee stops him, Eli shoves him down. Eddie hits Eli with the kendo stick and hits a DDT, covers Eli for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Eddie Edwards

Eddie then does a snow angel in the ring to celebrate

Eddie celebrates with the Xcite Wrestling crowd as we go off the air.

THAT’S ALL SHE WROTE!

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Chris’ IMPACT! Wrestling / Border City Wrestling Motown Showdown Results

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IMPACT BCW Motown Showdown

IMPACT Wrestling teams up with Border City Wrestling to present Motown Showdown, live on Twitch.tv

QUICK RESULTS

  • Halal Beefcake d. RJ City & Jake Something – Idris Abraham pinned RJ City after an assisted splash
  • Mad Man Fulton d. Movado – pin fall, swinging face buster
  • Scarlett Bordeaux d. Gisele Shaw – pin fall, backpack piledriver
  • Eli Drake d. Zach Gowen – pin fall, Gravy Train
  • Petey Williams d. Ace Austin, Matt Sydal and N8 Mattson – pin fall on Ace Austin, Canadian Destroyer
  • Sami Callihan d. Ace Romero – pin fall, roll up while in submission hold.
  • Eddie Edwards & Tommy Dreamer d. John Bolen & Johnny Swinger – pin fall, Eddie pins Bolen, DDT
  • Kongo Kong d. D-Lo Brown – pin fall, chokeslam
  • Johnny Impact d. Moose – pin fall, Starship Pain

IMPACT! / BCW Motown Showdown

Josh Matthews and Scott D’Amore are in the ring to welcome us to Bellville, Michigan for Motown Showdown!

A bigger arena and a larger crowd than they had the last time they did a Twitch special, thats for sure.

RJ City & Jake Something vs. Halal Beefcake [Joe Coleman & Idris Abraham]

RJ grabs a mic and says he wishes they weren’t on Twitch because it needs to be heavily edited because he didn’t get the applause he wanted. RJ asks Jake a question, but won’t let him answer. RJ says they should cut to the point that he hits his finisher and comes back to sing a song for everyone.

Idris Abraham used to be on IMPACT! television and still rocks his very large afro. Coleman comes to the ring with a huge jar of protein powder.

Abraham and RJ City start off in the ring. RJ lets Idris know where he can put his handshake and tags in Jake. Something punches and kicks away before choking Idris with his foot. Jawbreaker by Idris breaks him loose and he tags in Joe. Coleman with a reverse atomic drop, and a couple dropkicks. Something whips Coleman across and City buries a knee in his back. Coleman knocks him off the apron and fights back.

RJ pulls Coleman down in the corner and splits the difference with the ring post, and tags back in. Stomps away and tags back in Joe. Jake holds a chin lock as Joe fights to his feet. RJ tags back in as they assault Joe in the corner. Flatliner by RJ as Joe tries to cross the ring. Coleman comes out of the next corner with a spear.

RJ tags John, Joe tags Idris. Idris off the ropes and hits a flying forearm. Drop toe hold on both men, he calls in Coleman who does push ups off their backs. All four men in the ring fighting now, as Idris picks up Joe for the Celtic Cross! RJ stops a double team move and Jake hits a Blakc Hole Slam on Idris before RJ tags himself back in. Jake decides he has had enough of taking orders and clocks RJ City with a right hand!! Coleman slams Abraham onto RJ City for the 1-2-3!!!

Your winners: Halal Beefcake (pin fall)

  • Bound For Glory video package

Mad Man Fulton vs. “The Mysterious” Movado

D’Amore says Fulton is a Sami Callihan protege. He looks like him, but is over 300 pounds!!

The actually misspelled Movado’s name on the graphic to “Mavado”

Fulton over powers Movado in a collar and elbow tie up a few times before MOvado starts using his speed advantage. Moved does some rapid left hand right hand chops, and then does a worm across the ring to set up a charge in, which is interrupted by a savant kick from Fulton. Lots of chops, one off the ropes gets Fulton a two count. Moved then starts chipping away but is interrupted by a knee and a clothesline. Rolling sexton by Fulton also gets two.

Fulton goes up to the second rope, but Movado gets his knees up. Clotheslines from Movado can’t take the big man down. Shots to the midsection, and then a drop kick to his knee. Back to the left right chops in the corner, another worm, and a dropkick to Fulton in the corner. Movado then does a handstand splash for two. Off the ropes, Fulton hits a Samoan Drop. Then off the ropes he hits a swinging face buster for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Mad Man Fulton

  • Chris Jericho’s Rock ‘n Wrestling Rager at Sea video package
  • Bound For Glory Knockout’s Title Match video package

Gisele Shaw vs. Scarlett Bordeaux

This was supposed to be a three way match with Keira Hogan, but since she was put in the coffin on Thursday, she is a late scratch, so its a one-on-one match now.

This is Scarlett’s first official televised match with IMPACT!

Gisele talks smack to start, and then poses for the crowd. Scarlett them poses and the crowd cheers loudly. Gisele goes to a mild reaction. Scarlett goes again and the crowd erupts. Gisele again, but goes for a cheap shot and Scarlett takes advantage. Lou These press, and then dumps Gisele over the top rope and kicks her to the floor. Scarlett goes up top, and hits a HUGE cross body block to the floor!!

Scarlett tosses Gisele back in , covers for two. forearms exchanged, and then chops by Gisele in the corner. Scarlett reverses things, and whips Gisele off the ropes, reversed, and then hits a head scissor take down. Scarlett hits a scoop power slam followed by an elbow for two.

Scarlett hits a Stinger Splash in the corner, goes for a butt attack, by Gisele rolls to the outside. Scarlett goes for s suicide dive by Gisele hits a forearm and pulls Scarlett outside and hits a suplex on the floor. Gisele puts Scarlett back in, covers for one. Gisele kicks Scarlett’s ribs, then hits a gut buster for two. Gisele hits a standing duplex, hold son to roll into a second, then hangs Scarlett on the second rope for a twisting DDT for two. Gisele then goes up and misses a moonsault from the second rope, as Scarlett rolled out of the way.

A series of clotheslines from Scarlett, then rams Gisele into her backside and the second buckle. Running butt attack and Scarlett, she covers for two. Scarlett gets rolled up, one count, rolls back, now count, and Gisele hits a big boot for two. Gisele talks smack and slaps Scarlett, who spits in her pace! Scarlett gets a single leg take down and hits a sexton splash. Scarlett then hits a cradle DDT for a two count!!

Gisele then hits a sweeping back breaker, but can’t make the cover. Gisele charges in with a spear and covers for two. Now Gisele is visibly frustrated. Scarlett hits some forearms then positions Gisele on her back for a backpack piledriver for the 1-2-3!!!

Your winner: Scarlett Bordeaux (pin fall)

  • Bound For Glory Concrete Jungle Death Match promo video

Up next is the Eli Drake Dummy Challenge…

Eli comes out first and almost falls off the ropes posing for the crowd. Eli gets a microphone and says its not Detroit Rock City, no, when he’s there its E-Li-Drake City. Says tonight he has a first class ticket on the gravy train for whoever wants to come out. Out comes ZACH GOWEN to answer the challenge!!!!

Eli Drake vs. “The One Legged Wonder” Zach Gowen

Eli gets his microphone back, makes fun of the crowd, before saying this is what’s wrong with the wrestling business. Says no on in the crowd can do what he can, but day after day he sees Dummies, Yeah, with no athletic prowess, and now he’s looking at someone who doesn’t even have enough limbs to do this. He admires that he thinks he can do this, but we need to be honest, he’s got one leg and he’s facing E-Li -Drake, it just ain’t gonna fly. Thats not an insult, thats just a fact of life. Tells him he would be smart to just go.

Bowen gets the mic and says welcome to Detroit, bitch! Says he’s going to fin donut what happens when a one legged man challenges you to a butt kicking contest.

Bowen starts rolling and chasing down Eli, who ducks onto the apron. Back in they go face to face and he shoves Gowen down. Bowen with a school boy, into a front face lock, Eli rolls him up for one. Eli trips him, Gowen eggs off and Eli stops, telling Gowen to get up. Eli kicks him as soon as he’s up, and continues to beat him down. Pounds away with forearms into a chin lock, Gowen back up and hits a jawbreaker. Eli kicks him again and goes for a slam, Gowen floats in for a two count. Eli with a slam and covers for two. Eli now stomps away at Zach, picks him up and shoulder blocks in the corner. Headlock and punches from Eli, but Gowen catches him with a boot on the way back in. Off the second rope, Gowen hits a dropkick, both men down.

Eli charges across and misses a shoulder charge, then Gowen ducks and sends him over the top rope. Eli misses another charge to the ropes, goes for a DDT, but Eli sidesteps and hits a forearm shiver. Eli goes for the Gravy Train but Gower rolls him up for two. Gowen hits a jawbreaker again, then goes up top for a moonsault, but Eli moves out of the way. Eli then kicks the one leg out from under Zach, picks him up and hits the Gravy Train for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Eli Drake (pin fall)

  • Bound For Glory video package
  • Global Wrestling Network video package

Matt Sydal vs. N8 Mattson vs. Ace Austin vs. Petey Williams

Fatal Four Way X-Division Match, I will try to keep up…

Matt talks smack to start, getting everyone to open their third eye. He then sits in the corner, telling everyone else they can go at it. Sedan then drags Petey out of the ring and they brawl on the floor. Ace and N8 face off in the ring. Single leg take down by Ace for one, then another cover for one again. N8 and Ace both hit a shoulder block and go down. N8 goes off the ropes with a senton, Ace roles out, Petey in.

Petey whipped to the corner, floats over N8 and goes off the ropes in to a head scissor take down. Drop toe hold onto the middle rope and Petey hits a dropkick to N8’s back. Petey sets N8 into the tree of whoa, by Matt attacks from behind. Petey hits a mule kick, and then a drop toe hold, dropping Matt onto N8’s crotch. Petey with a sharp kick to N8’s face takes him off the buckles as well. N8 rolls out, now its Petey and Matt in the ring.

Matt with an arm drag and a kick to the back, Ace in, but gets the same combination. Ace with a drop toe hold, and a dorp kick and a kip up. Ace goes off the ropes and hits a plancha onto all three other men on the floor. Ace throws N8 back in, and logs on a leg choke, Petey then adds a Sharpshooter to N8, and Matt comes in with forearms to Petey, then locks a crossfire on Ace Austin. All men then release their holds.

Petey grabs N8, and whips his to a corner. N8 gets his feet up, charges out and eats a boot from Petey. Blocks the supplies attempts by Petey, but then forearm finds its mark. Ace Austin comes off the top with a dropkick to both men, and then a slingshot, handstand and a kick to Matt’s face on the floor, all without leaving the apron!!

Matt then crawls under the ring, Ace looking for him, and gets attacked from behind by Matt. Matt throws Ace back in, N8 covers for one. All three men square off, with N8 and Matt attacking Ace. N8 and Matt try to outdo each other’s chops on Ace, then Matt with a thigh kick. N8 whips Matt to Ace, who lofts him over the top, Ace fights off N8 and then Matt drops Ace.

Ace starts fighting back against Matt and N8, hits dropkicks, until Matt blocks and hits one of his own. Ace fights back again until N8 hits a knee to the gut. Ace reverses the corner charge and hits big boot, cover by Ace for two. Ace then goes up to the top, Matt Sydal cuts him off and hits him to the floor. Petey then hits a slingshot codebreaker on Matt, then a tilt a whirl side Russian leg sweep on N8 for two. Petey with a cradle face buster on Matt and calls for the Canadian Destroyer. Sets up on Matt, by N8 hits a face buster on Petey, then goes up top, and hits a leg drop from the top on Petey for two.

Ace with a kick to N8, then a face buster on his knees, covers for two. Ace whips N8 across, Petey interrupts, hits apoop up power bomb. Goes for the Destroyer, Matt interrupts with a knee strike. Ace Austin comes in Sydal blocks his kick and gets one of his own. Sedan hits his finisher, but N8 interrupts and hits a blue thunder bomb and gets a two before Petey Williams breaks up the pin fall. Petey and N8 reverse each other, Ace hits a blockbuster on N8, Petey hits the Canadian Destroyer on Ace Austin for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Petey Williams (pin fall)

  • Chris Jericho’s Rock ‘n Wrestling Rager at Sea video package
  • oVe Rules Match Bound For Glory video package

Ace Romero vs. Sami Callihan

Ace Romero weighs in at almost 500 POUNDS tonight!!! He’s the man from the viral video who hit The Pounce that launched his opponent into the crowd!

Callihan starts throwing chairs and some 8X10s into the ring, and the referee cleans them out as Sami enters. Sami charges in with a kick, but a second charge and Ace hits a DROPKICK that knocks Sami out of the ring. Sami moves but Ace is in hot pursuit on the floor. Sami gets on the apron and hits a kick, then Ace pulls him down by the leg. Ace then hits a kick to the fact of Sami. Ace then begins climbing the turnbuckles but misses a leg drop to the apron off the second rope.

Back out to the floor, Sami hits some chops and sets Ace up against the post. Sami then spits on his hand and goes for a chop, but Ace ducks. Ace goes for the same and Sami ducks. Both men exchange punches on the floor. Sami then hits a kick and Ace hits a European uppercut that decks Sami. Ace breaks up the count out, goes back to Sami who jams the eyes. Sami parts the crowd and hits a punch on Ace, sitting him onto chair. Sami then spits on his hand, charges in with a huge chop. Headlock control on Ace and another straight right to the face. Sami charges again but this time with a big boot. Sami motions thats he’s going around the world, betakes his lap around the ring, but Ace gets a boot up on Sami when he returns. Ace then hits a sexton splash on the floor on Sami!!

Ace finally throws Sami back in the ring picks him up, but Sami starts kicking away at Ace’s thighs and chopping his chest. Sami goes for a power slam, but Ace doest move. Sami hits a big boot, but again goes for a slam and gets nothing. Ace then scoops up Sami, hits a slam and a senton for two. At this point, some of the arena lights go off, as Scott and Josh joke about it. Sami flips off Ace, so Ace tells Sami to screw him, and hits another senton splash for two.

Ace picks up Sami, but he rakes the yes, tries for a German, Ace with the switch, and Sami tries for a sunset flip. Ace goes to sit on Sami, Sami moves, Sami hits an elbow on Ace for a one count. Sami funds away with rights and lefts and removes his wrist tape. Sami locks on a reverse chin lock but Ace stands up and walks Sami back first to the corner, then back s up again, then misses a splash. Sami is the finally able to get Ace in the air for a bodyslam, but both men are down.

Sami off the ropes with a clothesline, and another, and another, but Ace won’t got down. Ace responds with chops until Sami hits a big boot, and Ace chases him down and hits a huge clothesline to take down Sami. Ace then hits a sit out power bomb for two.

Ace sets Sami on the top rope and follows him to the top. Sami slips out and hits asuperkick to Romero’s ankles. Sami gets back under and hits a top rope Death Valley Driver and Ace kicks out at one!!! Ace is the first back to his feet, but slaps from Sami, he goes off the ropes and Ace hits  big boot and locks on a rear naked choke. Sami then floats over and pins Ace down for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Sami Callihan (pin fall)

Sami grabs a mic and begins an O-V-E chant.

  • IMPACT! returns to Windsor, Ontario in March 2019 ad
  • Video package for Eddie Edwards vs Moose at Bound For Glory

Johnny Swinger & Jon Bolen vs. Eddie Edwards (w/Kenny the Kendo Stick) & Tommy Dreamer

Eddie will start with Bolen, as they circle and lock up. Off the ropes, Bolen levels Edwards with a shoulder block. Headlock take over and another shoulder block for Bolen. Eddie hits an atomic drop, then rings the arm of Bolen and Bolen gets out and tags Swinger. Eddie tags in Dreamer.

Swinger wants a test of strength, Dreamer doest want to, but eats a kick and a shoulder block from Swinger. Dreamer gets an arm drag and a shoulder block of his own. Dreamer then hits the American Dream punches and the atomic elbow. Arm ringer by Dreamer as he hammers away at Swinger. Swinger breaks out and tags in Bolen. Arm drag by Dreamer and Eddie comes in then tags Dreamer back in. Double team off the ropes with elbows and a double elbow drop, kick out by Bolen at one.

Dreamer and Eddie take turns tagging in and working over Bolen, Bolen then charges Eddie who low bridges the ropes, Bolen lands on his feet on the floor and Eddie dives out onto him. Eddie then calls for Dreamer to dive as we’ll. Crowd chants E-C-W as he runs across, steps out of the ropes, and punches Bolen.

All four men start brawling on the floor, and Dreamer and Swinger head up the steps of the ramp. Dreamer spits beer in to Swinger’s face and tells the crowd to clear the way. Swinger funds away at Dreamer and Tommy falls off the balcony onto the chairs below. On the other side, Bolen has Eddie. Swinger gets Dreamer back in the ring, Swinger drops the elbow and works over Dreamer on the mat. Bowen tags back in and works over Dreamer in their corner. A big elbow drops Dreamer off the ropes.

Bolen locks in a reverse chin lock and Dreamer gets to his feet, but Bolen pulls him down and covers for two. Dreamer gets whipped into the corner and Bolen tags in Swinger. Swinger starts stomping away and hits an elbow dos on Tommy for one. Tommy charges out of the corner with a cross body, both men are down. Tommy tags in Eddie, Swinger tags in Bolen.

Eddie levels his twice and chops away. Puts Bolen in the corner, but eats a boot and then Eddie hits a front face duplex and a huge double handed chop, into a cover, broken up by Swinger at two. All four men in the ring again, Eddie and Tommy mount their men for corner punches and then both get bit for their troubles.

Dreamer looking for a DVD, Swinger reverses and gets Kenny. Swinger misses Tommy who hits a cutter and gets Kenny. Bowen hits a side slam on GDreamer from behind and Eddie gets Kenny. Eddie hits a Bolen with Kenny and a DDT for the 1-2-3

Your winners: Eddie Edwards & Tommy Dreamer (pin fall)

Eddie grabs a mic after and attempts to start a “You Still Got It” chant with no luck.

Tommy then grabs the mic and and says that everyone thinks Eddie is crazy, but he’s proof that if anyone grew up watching ECW you are hardcore and crazy, and he loves him for that!

  • Bound For Glory video package
  • GWN video package

Kongo Kong vs. D-Lo Brown

D-Lo talking smack to start, then starts with the forearms. Goes to slam Kong, but can’t lift him. D-Lo then kicks and forearms away, but still can’t slam Kong. D-Lo calls for a test of strength, Kongo raises his hand, but its much too tall for D-Lo. D-Lo then begins making Kongo dance, then kicks away, and attempts another unsuccessful slam. Kong whips D-Lo across and hits a huge back body drop.

Kong stomps away in the corner, then pounds the back of D-Lo against the ropes. punches exchanged, D-Lo still can’t slam Kong. Kong hits a running splash on D-Lo, then a belly to belly that gets a two count. Kong then hooks the face of D-Lo against the ropes. Kong whips D-Lo corner to corner, but D-Lo moves and begins punching. D-Lo goes for another slam, but Kongo shifts his weight and falls on Brown. Kong gets up, then goes for a pin and gets two. Kong then hits a sexton, and a splash on D-Lo on the ground, smothering him into the mat.

D-Lo goes under the ropes, Kong follows with an axe handle to the back. D-Lo gains control on the floor, puts Kong against the ring post, but Kong moves and Brown headsets the post. Kong then splashes D-Lo against the post on the outside. D’Amore asks “remember when wrestlers used to get counted out of the ring??”

Kong puts D-Lo back in, and D-Lo starts fighting back. D-Lo goes for Sky High and can’t get Kong up. Kong drops D-Lo in a corner and then goes and hits a running bowling ball splash in the corner. Crowd chants “one more time” for Kong, Kong goes to splash D-Lo, but he moves out of the way and hits several clotheslines in the corner. D-Lo finally hits the scoop slam in the middle of the ring.

Kong back to his feet, sidestepped D-Lo’s charge and Brown hits the post. Kong then follows with a headbutt and a chokeslam, and Kong covers for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Kong Kong (pin fall)

Bound For Glory video packages

you can hear the producer yelling “music!” and someone saying back “I don’t have it” before the main event starts. Finally the music starts playing

Moose vs. Johnny Impact

Moose gets referee Johnny Bravo to open the ropes for him so he can enter the ring.

Impact duck behind, Moose switches, and into a headlock. Off the ropes, Moose hits a shoulder block, misses a sexton, Impact misses a moonsault, both men kip up and face off. Trash talking starts from both me in the center of the ring. Impact shoes Moose, who returns the favor and the men come to blows. Impact hits an arm drag or two off the ropes and then a dropkick hits its mark.

Moose rolls out, Impact goes over the top but lands on the apron as Moose moves. Impact switches sides and hits a topei on Moose to the floor. Moose then thumbs both eyes of Impact before collecting himself. Moose grabs a chair, but the referee takes it away. Impact hits Moose and slams him face first in to the apron. A fan then holds Moose as Impact scores a right hand. Moose and Impact then brawl into the crowd and up the entrance ramp in  front of the bar.

At this point, the crowd is in the way and you can see nothing.

You then see Moose go for a summersault through a table, but you can’t tell if Moose hit Impact, Impact put Moose through the table, or Impact moved out of Moose’s way.

Impact then brings Moose back down the entrance stairs, obviously he came out the better of the table exchange. Impact throws Moose back in the ring, gets a drink of a fans beer, but then Moose welcomes him back to the ring with a low blow.

Moose then goes ground and pound on Impact, and then both men struggle to get back to their feet. Moose begins the chops and whips Impact hard into the buckles. A couple more chops from Moose but misses the third and Impact throws uppercuts and jabs. Moose chases Impact out and hits an European uppercut, Impact follows with a low knee, misses the Shining Wizard, Moose with a school boy in to a power bomb and gets a two count.

Moose stomps away at Johnny, picks him up, and chops him back down. Moose picks Johnny back up, and chops him down again. Moose then goes to the second rope and goes for the Moose-sault, but Impact moves out of the way.

Both men back to their feet and start exchanging blows. Impact hits two flying elbows and a leg lariat to take Moose down. Standing shooting star press gets a two count. Impact positions Moose and heads up to the top rope. Johnny goes for the Launch to Impact, Moose moves, he rolls through and hits a kick to Moose’s midsection, followed by a swinging neck breaker for two. Johnny picks up Moose, but he’s met with a chop, and delivers a receipt. Both men exchanging blows again, Moose pulls off the glove, but Impact hits a super kick. Off the ropes, Moose hits a pump kick, Impact hits a step up enziguri, Moose hits a headbutt and then Impact  hits an Impact Kick, leaving both men down again!

Moose charges Impact in the corner, eats a boot, but hits a Go To Hell on Impact for two! Moose now goes up to the top rope,  Impact meets him with a right hand and heads up as well. Impact goes for a superplex, Moose blocks. Moose then bites Impact to get him off, but Impact comes back and hits a Spanish Fly off the second rope, but Moose kicks out at two!!

Impact then drags Moose to a corner, calls for Starship Pain. Goes for it, Moose rolls away, Impact lands on his feet, but Moose hits a pop-up powebomb, but cannot capitalize. Moose rolls out of the ring to collect himself. Moose grabs another chair, and brings it in. Referee Bravo takes this chair away as well, but Moose grabs the original chair and hits Impact in the head!! Bravo comes back and Moose covers, but only gets two!!

Moose gets Impact up, misses The GameChanger, but eats a drop kick from Impact and Moose runs into the referee. Impact gets a school boy but theres no referee to count. Moose then kicks a field goal like low blow on Impact in the middle of the ring. Moose grabs the chair, kicks the referee in the face, hits the mat, and tosses the chair to Impact a la Eddie Guerrero. Impact realizes what Moose is doing, wraps the chair around his own neck and lays down as well. Referee Bravo is confused. Moose swears he didn’t do anything, the referee tosses a chair, and Impact hits a super kick on Moose. Impact then hits Starship Pain for the 1-2-3!!!

Your winner: Johnny Impact (pin fall)

Impact has a microphone, saying Moose kicked his ass tonight, but Moose is the one who woke up in SlamTown, and now he is more focused on BFG than ever! Says he’s not going to New York for a Twitter war, he’s going to take the IMPACT! World Championship out of his hands! He says theres nowhere to hide, Johnny Impact will be waiting for him, and he will see him in SlamTown!!

 

THATS ALL SHE WROTE! See you for IMPACT! on Thursday and next Sunday, Bound For Glory!!!!

Follow along on Twitter @OldSkewlPantz and don’t forget the Bearded IMPACT! Podcast every Friday morning!!!


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Chris’s IMPACT Wrestling Results and Live Review (10/4/2018)

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IMPACT Wrestling Results & Report

Follow along with Chris Pinheiro as he reviews IMPACT Wrestling live and in the moment! Tweet @theCHAIRSHOTcom and @OldSkewlPantz during the show.


SHOW RESULTS

  • Matt Sydal pins Rich Swann, his finisher (don’t know the name)
  • La Parka defeats Eli Drake via count out
  • Murder Clown pins Joe Hendry (top rope splash)
  • Su Yung pins Keira Hogan (Panic Switch)
  • Fenix/Pentagon Jr./Brian Cage defeated oVe (disqualification)

 


LIVE PLAY-BY-PLAY

We start with the standard recap of last week’s action.

IMPACT! from Mexico week three, and we start with Rich Swann!

Match One: Rich Swann vs. Matt Sydal

Matt wants a handshake, Swann has second thoughts but finally does. Sydal tries to open Swann’s third eye but is hit with an enziguri. Swann then flies off the top rope onto Sydal in the floor.

Back in the ring, Swann off the ropes, and the go counter for counter. Swann hits a leg lariat to take down Sydal. Sydal begs off into the corner, hook kick to Swann sends him to the outside, as the brawl out there again.

Sydal gets knocked down with a right hand and rolls under the ring. When Swann goes to look he gets hit in the eye, Sydal claims it was a forearm.

Back inside, Swann fights back, until a back breaker slam stops him. Swann fights back again and reverses a tilt a whirl into a head scissor takeover, take down gets a two count. Hand spring  cutter by Swann gets a 2.

Swann goes up top, Sydal interrupts him. Swann shoves off Matt, who springs back with a hurricanrana but Swann lands on his feet!! Sydal eats a kick, then hits a powerbomb counter for two!!

Sydal goes for his finisher, Swann counters with a kick and goes up top again. A mystery man grabs Swann off the top rope and powerbomb him into the middle of the ring. Sydal then hits his finisher for the 1-2-3

Winner: Matt Sydal (pin fall)

Josh Matthews reveals that the mystery man is ETHAN PAGE!!

Back stage with oVe, and Dave is clearly shaken up. Sami says that even magical powers won’t help the Lucha Bros. when they meet in the middle of the ring at Bound For Glory!

**commercial break**

Backstage, Eddie gets a call from “Alisha” but it’s Moose. Moose tells Eddie to meet him upstairs.

Scarlett Bordeaux comes out and comes to the announce desk where Don welcomes her with open arms. Scarlett says Don is a 10 and Josh is a 5. Josh asks her why she’s here, she says she wants to give back, finding the next champion.

Match Two: Eli Drake open challenge

Scarlett says Eli looks like a star.

Eli has a mic and says everyone knows the drill, it’s dummy hunting season. Says he wants all the Technicos back there so they can give him all their planchas and he can kick them in their keisters.

LA PARKA(!!!!) comes out dragging a referee.

Crowd immediately begins chanting La Parka!! La Parka talks some smack in Spanish (and unfortunately my wife just left for work so I have no translator)

La Parka attacked as the bell rings, choking Eli in the corner. La Parka removes a glove to begin chopping Eli.

Eli regains control and begins punching away. He rolls outside and grabs a chair! La Parka knocks it away and hits a reverse DDT and grabs the chair. La Parka threatens and Eli rolls out of the ring. The referee counts to ten and La Parka wins.

Winner: La Parka (count out)

LAX backstage, Konnan tells them he will not break the cease fire, no matter how disrespectful the OGz get. The OGz show up, and the two sides are in each other’s faces. King dares LAX to touch the OGz. Konnan tells King he basically raised him, King says you raised a snake, what do you expect. King then drinks Konnan’s tequila and spits it in his face. The OGz drop the titles at their feet and walk away.

**commercial break**

Matt Sydal and Ethan Page backstage and Sydal says he doesn’t have to open any of Page’s eyes. Page says Swann missed his chance. Sydal says they walk together now, they’re a tag team, and challenge Swann to find a partner for Bound For Glory!

Match Three: Murder Clown (w/Katarina) vs. Joe Hendry (w/Grado)

Joe Hendry comes out to “Hendry Makes Things Better” again.

Hendry has a mic to start, thanks Katarina for the early warning, and says he hasn’t disturbing footage of her and her new client.

A video plays of “Katarina” and a Clown going on dates and the Clown then killing Katarina. Okay this is just too funny!!! He again takes a shot that it’s too bad the clown isn’t a pirate and isn’t related HAHAHA

Hendry gets the early advantage but it’s back and forth after. Clown hits a huge clothesline, then sets Hendry on the top and hangs him in the tree of whoa. Running dropkick in the corner, and Clown keeps picking up Hendry and knocking him down.

Clown misses a senton, Hendry then hits a fall away slam!!

Clown slams Hendry and hits a top rope splash for the 1-2-3!

Winner: Murder Clown (pin fall)

Clown then gets a table, and Grado begs off only to get a low blow from behind from Katarina. Clown sets up the table as Katarina gives instructions. Clown places Hendry on the table and hits ANOTHER top rope splash through the table!!

**commercial break**

Bound For Glory video package

Abyss Hall Of Fame 2018 video package

Eddie is walking through town with Kenny the Kendo Stick. He finds Moose who has Alisha. Eddie and Moose argue weather or not Aries and Kross are really friends to Moose. Eddie admits he was a bad friend, hopes they can be friends after Moose kicks his ass at BFG. Alisha then throws water on Moose’s face and Eddie and Moose brawl. Killer Kross jumps in, Eddie breaks free, hits Kross with Kenny and he and Alisha bolt. Eddie calls Johnny Impact and tells him to get Austin Aries now because he’s alone.

**commercial break**

Impact is on the hunt for Austin Aries. Kicks in his dressing room door, but cannot finding him. He even checks the bathroom and says “well he’s not pooping.” Finds a shirt guy getting interviewed, but he’s Mexican… the segment ends without him finding Aries.

Impact then comes to the ring. He calls out Aries to have a conversation about their match. Austin’s music hits, and he eventually comes out with his arm in a sling. Aries limps to the ring, slowly.

Aries joins Impact in the ring, saying he’s here and alone, and he’s suffered some injuries from Impact hitting him with the title belt last week. Impact says he doesn’t want to whoop his ass tonight, but at Bound For Glory so he can be the champion.

He then says the title should be Aries vs Impact, and asks if Aries can face him alone at Bound For Glory as well. Aries reminds Impact that he’s all ready beat Impact, so if he wants it to be one-on-one, he guarantees Moose and Kross won’t interfere because he doesn’t need them to beat Impact, and does Impact even know who he really is?

Aries says Impact looks like he should be champion, and he’s a really good fake pro wrestler. Aries continues saying he doesn’t look like the part, but he’s that good and he IS a champion.

Aries then offers Impact a chance to be a part of a winning team. Says he can cancel his shot,  join his group and unlock his potential before he has to change his name to Johnny 205!

Johnny says he’d rather be wheeled out on a stretcher on his own before he follows Aries. Aries hits Impact with a cheap shot and reveals he’s not injured. Impact then hits a huge clothesline and Starship Pain on the champion, hold the belt high as his music plays.

Brian Cage is backstage calling out Callihan and says he will decimate oVe at Bound For Glory.

**commercial break**

Video package for BFG Weekend in NYC

Backstage with The Desi Hit Squad as they realize they blew their shot last week. Gama then shows up and beats them with another broom. He then says next week they will face each other to find out who the weekest link is.

GWN Moment of the Week is BFG 2011 as Sting takes on Hulk Hogan

Scarlett Bordeaux is backstage, as Jack Evans tries to get her managerial services with a backflip. She then calls Puma King kinky and walks away.

The Smoke Show

Scarlett then sees Trevor Lee and Petey Williams backstage. Petey makes Lee move as he shows her the secret behind The Canadian Destroyer. Trevor is shocked by Petey being a creep. Scarlett tells them there’s no fighting on The Smoke Show and they should take it outside.

**commercial break**

The Lucha Bros. call oVe stupid for trying to beat them in Mexico. Says they will see them in the ring tonight!

Match Four: Keira Hogan (w/Allie) vs. Su Yung (w/The Undead Maid of Honor)

Su attacks before the bell, but Keira gains control. Corner hip attacks and a low dropkick gets two. Keira controls off the whip by Su hits a reverse Alabama Slam off the top for one.

Su beals Keira across a few times. Su misses a corner charge, but stops herself. Keira catches her and begins hitting forearms and a snapmare. Keira misses a corner charge but puts the breaks on. Su ducks to the outside, Keira hits a suicide dive, rolls Su back in for two.

Su goes for the Panic Switch, Keira reverses into a sitout powerbomb for two. Keira goes up top, Maid interfered, Allie gets her, Su hits a palm strike and then takes Keira off the top, hits the Panic Switch for the 1-2-3!

Winner: Su Yung (pin fall)

A coffin is rolled out on the ramp, but Allie attacks Su. The Maid grabs Allie but she breaks free and dumps Su out. She then yells at Su who backs off, but the Maid attacks. Su applies the mandible claw and attempts to put Allie in the coffin. Keira saves Allie, but then gets the Claw and gets put in the coffin!!

**commercial break**

Allie is freaking out backstage. She says she knows what she has to do…

Video package of Tessa Blanchard vs Taya Valkyrie

oVe comes out and Sami gets a mic before their opponents come out, he tells the crowd to shut up. Jake again imitating Sami the entire time which is hilarious. Says they’re not waiting for Bound For Glory, they want a ref and to get it on now!!

**commercial break**

Fenix and Pentagon Jr. come out to the stage, followed by Brian Cage.

Match Five: oVe [Jake Crist/Dave Crist/Sami Callihan] vs. The Lucha Bros. [Fenix & Pentagon Jr.] & Brian Cage

All three then charge the ringand attack. There’s a referee in the ring and here we go. Cage and Fenix hit flying moves in Sami for two. Sami then rakes Fenix’s eyes, but a boot and he takes back over. To the corner, Fenix does his leaps but Jake shakes the ropes and he crashes down.

Sami regains control. Again goes to the mask. Tags in Dave, and oVe takes everyone off the apron.

Three on one against Fenix in the ring, who reverses the all Seeing Eye and tag says in Cage. Cage hits a powerbomb on Sami, stacks up oVe and hits a German suplex on both Crist brothers.

Sami kicks Cage in the face who flexes, intimidating Sami, who throws the referee down for the disqualification

Winners: Brian Cage/Fenix/Pentagon Jr. (disqualification)

After the bell, a brawl ensues. Jake kicks Cage twice and Cage wipes him out with a knee. Cage then hits a superplex off the second rope onto everyone on the floor!!!! The brawl continues on the outside, and Fenix hits a corkscrew plancha off the guardrail!!!

Lucha Bros slam both Crists into the guardrail and they brawl off the air!!!

THAT’S ALL SHE WROTE FOLKS!!!

BOUND FOR GLORY IS OCTOBER 14!!!

 


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Chris’ IMPACT! Results & Coverage (9/27/2018)

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IMPACT Wrestling Results & Report

IMPACT! from Mexico week two, as we get The LAX vs The Desi Hit Squad, Brian Cage vs Jake Crist, Tessa Blanchard putting the Knockout’s Title on the line against Faby Apache and Allie & Keira Hogan take on Su Yung & The Undead Maid of Honor!! Plus, Scarlett Bordeaux has a HUGE announcement TONIGHT!!

 

DON’T FORGET: The Bearded IMPACT! Podcast comes your way EVERY FRIDAY!

Follow me on Twitter: @OldSkewlPantz

 

QUICK RESULTS

  • Knockout’s Title: Tess Blanchard(c) d. Faby Apache – pin fall, Buzzsaw DDT
  • Brian Cage d. Jake Crist – pin fall, Drill Claw
  • LAX d. The Desi Hit Squad – pin fall, Santana pins Singh, Street Sweeper
  • Keira Hogan & Allie d. Su Yung & The Undead Maid of Honor – pin fall, Hogan pins Yung, fisherman’s neck breaker
  • Moose & Killer Kross d. Eddie Edwards & Johnny Impact – pin fall, Moose pinned Edwards, Spear

_____________________________________________________________________________

IMPACT! WRESTLING – SEPTEMBER 27, 2018

Obligatory recap video of last week starts us off.

Match One: Knockout’s Title: Tessa Blanchard(c) vs Faby Apache

Faby comes out sans head dress, but with her AAA Reina de Reinas Title.

Dropkick to the knees and a kick to the head to start for Faby. Foot choke in the corner and Tessa then reverses her in. Faby uses the hair to pull Tessa down then goes into a backslide for one.

Forearms from Tessa, and a straight kick from Faby for the knock down. Faby goes for a powerbomb, reverses, then Faby hits a hurricanrana for two.

Faby reverses the Buzzsaw DDT and they fight on the apron. Back in, a clubbing blow to the back gets one for Tessa. A pair of short arm clothesline’s and a Saito suplex by Tessa has her in full control. Faby fuggta back, off the ropes, uses a body scissor into a reverse figure four! Rope break by Tessa.

They Battle in a corner, then Faby hits a sit out chicken wing face buster for 2 and 3/4!!!!

Faby sets Tessa on the top turnbuckle. Tessa fights back and knocks Faby down. Tessa hits a Magnum from the top for just two!!!

Faby goes for a clothesline, Tessa reverses into a Buzzsaw DDT for the 1-2-3!!

Your winner, and STILL champion: Tessa Blanchard (pin fall)

Tessa has a mic and says she has run through the entire division and the best in Mexico, making her the best wrestler, the best athlete in professional wrestling. Taya Valkyrie then shows up on the video board, saying Tessa can’t say she’s the best because she hasn’t wrestled Taya. She challenges Tessa for the title at Bound For Glory!!

**commercial break**

We come back to Eddie Edwards and Alisha backstage. After some yelling and calling Eddie stupid, Johnny Impact joins them, saying he’s got Eddie’s back. Alisha then tells Eddie to just listen to Impact tonight.

Pre taped segment with oVe. Callihan claims everything sells out because of them in marquee matches. He says tonight, Jake gets an opportunity against Brian Cage. Jake seems worried, but Sami says he’s got it.

**commercial break**

We now see Eli Drake walking around Mexico City. Eli says next week he will challenge all the luchadors in the ring.

Match Two: Jake Crist (w/ Dave Crist & Sami Callihan) vs Brian Cage 

Jake charges but Cage carries him to a corner and begins the corner lariats. Jake escapes off the ropes into a back body drop. Cage then knocks Dave off the apron. Cage then goes to charge Jake in the corner but Sami pulls Jake out of the way and Cage crashes shoulder first into the ring post and falls to the floor.

Sami slams Cage into the guard rail, and follows it up with a tornado DDT. Jake throws Cage back in the ring and starts working over his left arm. Wrist lock DDT by Jake. Jake looks for a hurricanrana, Cage deadlifts him into a powerbomb onto his knee!!! A huge clothesline follows, then two knees and a 6-1-9!!! Cage goes up top, and hits a elbow drop for two!!

Cage catches Jake trying to float over and hits a sit out Alabama slam for two. Jake with a series of kicks for two. Jake goes up top, but Cage meets him with an enziguri and climbs up as well. Jake hits a cutter from the second rope for one!! Now Cage looks pissed. Drill Claw on Jake for the 1-2-3!!!

Your winner: Brian Cage (pin fall)

Sami and Dave jump in and take down Cage. The lights go out and Dave disappears. On the video board, we see Fenix and Pentagon Jr beating a tied up Dave. Cage back to his feet and he clothesline’s SAmi and Jake. He then hits a summersault plancha OVER THE TOP onto both me on the floor!!!!

**commercial break**

Backstage interview with Austin Aries, Killer Kross and Moose. Kross threatens to make Johnny Impact into Johnny Neckbrace tonight!

GWN Flashback Moment of the week is Bound For Glory 2006, AJ Styles & Christopher Daniels vs LAX

Backstage with Joe Hendry and Grado, they’re celebrating Joe’s new song when Katarina walks up. She says this whole thing is a classic case of wires crossed, and she has a gift for him tonight. She brings out Murder Clown as he will face Joe next week!!

**commercial break**

Rolando Martinez is outside with Scarlett Bordeaux for her big announcement. Scarlett issues a global talent search, and one lucky person will get her attention 24/7

Gama Singh is in the ring to introduce The Desi Hit Squad as their match is next!

Match three: The Desi Hit Squad (w/ Gama Singh) vs LAX (w/ Konnan)

Santana starts against Rohit Raju. Lots of running the ropes, reversals, Ortiz tags in, Santana flips over and they hits a double side suplex. Ortiz hits a splash for two.

Gursinder Singh pulls Ortiz down, and Raju hits a basement dropkick. Ortiz gets rolled back in, Raju covers for two and then tags in Singh. Lots of attacks in the corner, Raju tags back in, covers for two.

Snap suplex into a float over by Raju for two. Back in the corner, tags in Singh. Ortiz reverses both corner charges, but Singh takes him down. Santana finally tags in a hits a cross vista nd lots of chops. Runs the ropes for an arm drag, then a springboard roll and a dropkick. Santana then dives onto Raju on the outside. Double team moves from LAX, then a spinebuster by Ortiz. Santana then hits a moonsault off Ortiz onto Singh, but Raju shoves Ortiz into the cover to break up the pin at 2.

Raju fight both LAX members, then they hits a sweep/lung blower combo on Santana for two. Singh hits a powerbomb on Santana, but Ortiz shoves Raju into the pin to break it up at 2. Ortiz hits a Death Valley Driver on Singh in the corner. Santana then springboards off Ortiz into Singh in the corner. Ortiz then lifts Singh up, Santana comes off the top turnbuckle with The Street Sweeper for the 1-2-3!

Your winner: LAX (pin fall)

King shows up on the video screen congratulating LAX. Says his win last week was a preview for BFG. King pulls out an old picture of Konnan, tears it up, and then pulls out Konnan’s old mask. He says Konnan leaches off everyone, and he then sets Konnan’s old mask on fire!!!

**commercial break**

We now see Fallah Bahh reading a bed time story to KM in a neckbrace. KM thanks Bahh but says there’s something bigger. Bahh needs to get revenge, for both of them.

Tessa Blanchard back stage, saying Taya is brave to talk from thousands of miles away. She tells Taya that is a match against her at BFG is what she wants, she’s got it!!

Match Four: Keira Hogan & Allie vs Su Yung & The Undead Maid of Honor 

**commercial break**

Allie and Su start off. Allie with strikes, as Su laughs them off. Maid tags in, Strikes away at Allie. Maid misses a clothesline, but Allie hits one and covers for two.

Allie tags in Keira, as they both hit the Maid with clotheslines. Keira misses a kick, but Allie hits a senton. Keira covers for two.

The Maid hits a springboard cross body for two. Maid charges the corner but Keira gets a boot up. Keira then hits a hurricanrana out of the corner and covers for two.

Keira tags in Allie and they double whip her to the corner. Clothesline by Allie and then a dropkick by Keira. Sliding line by Allie, but Su kicks her and Su and the Maid stomp away. Double team neck breaker and The Maid covers Allie for two. The Maid hits a figure four German suplex for two and tags in Su.

Allie tries to fight out of the corner, hits a lung blower on Su and both women are down. Allie almost made a tag, but The Maid pulled Keira down. Palm strike by Su gets a two count. Double clothesline and both women are down again.

Keira tags in and a series of clothesline’s and a snapmare take down Su. Keira then charges corner to corner with a splash, hip attack and a dropkick. Another drop kick gets two. The Maid comes in for Su, but gets double team kicks from Keira and Allie. Su comes in with the glove on, gets a superkick from Allie. Keira then hits a swinging fisherman’s neckbreaker for the 1-2-3

Your winners: Keira Hogan & Allie (pin fall)

**commercial break**

Matt Sydal is meditating outside with Rich Swann covers his third eye. He says he’s sick of the games, and he wants Matt next week, in the ring!!

Match Five: Johnny Impact & Eddie Edwards vs Killer Kross & Moose (w/ Austin Aries)

Kross and Eddie start us off. Moose tags in. Moose tags out. Impact tags himself in against Kross. Standing switches and chain holds. Impact with a dropkick and Kross tags in Moose. Edwards tags in and Moose tags in Kross. Edwards takes Kross to his corner, tags in Impact. Kross hits three big suplexes and drags Impact to his corner.

**commercial break**

Moose has Impact in the corner and chops away. Belly to back is reversed, both men make tags. Kross hits a spinebuster on Eddie and Moose tags in. Moose mounts Eddie in the corner and tries to rip out his eyes. Eddie reverses, but Moose hits a dropkick and tags in Kross.

Kross with an airplane spin into a cloverleaf, but Eddie makes it to the ropes. Eddie reverses the suplex attempts and then hits one of his own. Eddie tags Impact leg lariat takes Kross down, a kick to the face gets two. Sliding German suplex and Impact goes up top. No one home for Starship Pain, and both men hit a clothesline. Moose and Eddie tag in. Eddie hits a hurricanrana off the top, but Kross breaks up the pin at two. Kross hits a belly to belly throw before brawling outside with Impact.

Edwards hits an enziguri, Impact with an Impact kick, and then Eddie hits a Blue Thunder Bomb on Moose for two. All four men fighting and are down. Aries is up and he has his title in hand, looking for Impact. Johnny knocks down Aries and takes the belt. Kross hits a Doomsday Saito Suplex on Impact.

As the referee is clearing the belt, Eddie enters with his kendo stick and nails Kross with it. Moose then hits Eddie with a spear for the 1-2-3!

Your winners: Moose & Killer Kross (pin fall)


Always Use Your Head and visit the official Pro Wrestling Tees store for The Chairshot All t-shirt proceeds help support the advancement of your favorite hard-hitting wrestling website, The Chairshot!


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