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Impact Coverage

Chris’ IMPACT Wrestling Results & Report! (9/13/18)

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IMPACT Wrestling Results & Report

Join Chris as he delivers live coverage of this week’s IMPACT Wrestling!!

Follow on Twitter: @OldSkewlPantz

Check out The Bearded IMPACT Podcast on iTunes and all your favorites podcast services!!!

QUICK RESULTS:

  • The Lucha Bros. defeated The Cult Of Lee – pinfall, Pentagon pins Lee, Spiked Fear Factor
  • Alisha defeated Katarina – pin fall, roll up
  • LAX defeated The Fraternity – pin fall, blockbuster/ powerbomb combo, Ortiz pins Decker
  • Brian Cage defeated Kongo Kong pin fall, F-5
  • IMPACT World Title: Austin Aries(c) defeated Fallah Bahh – submission, Last Chancery

________________________________

IMPACT! WRESTLING – Sept. 13, 2018

 

Show opens with a recap of last week’s Knockouts action, with Allie and Keira saving Tessa from the coffin, The Lucha Bros. offer to Cage, the ceasefire between LAX and The OGz, and Moose’s reasons for backstabbing Edwards.

Austin Aries’ music hits, and out comes The Greatest Man Who’s Ever Lived with Killer Kross and Moose. Couches are set up in the ring for the champion and his crew.

Fans chant “douche” at Moose, Aries says “it’s very important to keep yourself clean, I agree with that.” Aries states they’re taking out everyone and no one will stop them.

Moose states they haven’t seen Edwards in a while, Aries says they should check on his wife, and out come KM and Fallah Bahh.

Aries offers them a banana, saying if Bahh ate more bananas, maybe he wouldn’t be so fat as he offers them seats in the ring.

KM said they have motivation from a pretty lady in the back to always to speak their mind. KM then calls Aries a liar and a rotten human being and a horrendous world champion. Aries says that’s okay, because when KM was champion… oh that’s right, he’s never been champion.

KM tells Moose best friends don’t stab each other in the back and starts the “douche” chant again.

Aries says they got off on the wrong foot and apologizes, saying as the champion things got chaotic, and he offers them a peace offering. Aries offers Bahh a World Title shot TONIGHT! Bahh shakes his hand in agreement, and the match is set for tonight!!

To the announce desk with Josh Matthews and Don Callis, as they run down what’s on the show tonight. Josh is thrilled for Bahh, Callis is worried.

Match One: The Lucha Bros. [Pentagon Jr. & Rey Fenix] vs The Cult Of Lee [Trevor Lee & Caleb Konley]

Pentagon starts against Lee. Chops to both Lee and Konley, Bros whip the two men into each other, then Fenix dropkick both to the outside, and the Bros pose in the ring.

**commercial break**

Back in as Lee controls Fenix in a corner, whips him across, Fenix goes outside, enziguri,  and a dropkick in. Off the ropes, The Cult drop Fenix in the top rope, Pentagon in, they both kick him and The Cult stands tall.

Konley in, Lee holds and he punches Fenix. Fenix fights back with chops, but a double thrust drops him into the corner.

Lee in, big boot, Pentagon breaks up the pin at 2. Konley back in with no tag, stomps, cover for nothing, then a choke. Back rake by Konley. Now chops in the corner and a knee stops Fenix.

Lee tags in and stomps Fenix in the corner. Konley chokes with his foot as the referee is distracted. Double team whip, misses the  clothesline’s, and a springboard elbow from Fenix takes them both out.

Fenix tags Pentagon, super kicks all around. Wheelbarrow cutter by Fenix on Lee, then a wheel barrow splash on Konley for two. Pentagon with a HUGH CHOP that echos in the arena on Konley! Tags in Fenix. Lee breaks up the Fear Factor, Konley backhands Pentagon, and a Doomsday Stomp on Fenix, Pentagon breaks up the pin at two. Konley and Lee with superkicks off the ropes.

Lee meets Fenix up top, Pentagon stops Konley from interfering, Fenix springboards into a dive on Konley outside, Pentagon hits a super lung blower on Lee for two.

Bros hit a spike Fear factor on Lee for the 1-2-3 as Fenix dives on Konley on the outside!!

Your winners: The Lucha Bros. (Pin fall)

3.5 out of 5

good back and forth action, made both teams look strong, which I didn’t expect with the recent Cult of Lee losing streak and Pentagon being World Champion. Felt a little like they were trying to fir more moves and spots in, which hurt a little of the story they were telling in the ring.

Video starts of oVe backstage saying they’re on the show so much because they sell tickets. Jake is mimicking Sami for the entire promo. Sami challenges Pentagon, Fenix and Cage to a  six-man tag team match at Bound For Glory, in an oVe Rules Match!!

Backstage, KM is celebrating Bahh’s opportunity, but Bahh looks worried. KM says they need advice from someone who’s been there, from former champions.

**commercial break**

KM and Fallah are now yelling for Eli, including into a dummy and an ATM

KM asks Eli to help make Bahh the face of IMPACT! and Eli says he’s only focused on going to Mexico next week and calling out all the “Tontos! Si! Tontos! Si!” Tells him he should get a cup… or in his case, a bowl.

Chris Jericho Cruise video

And now, the GWN Flashback Moment of the Week!

Backstage interview with Keira Hogan and Allie. Allie says she doesn’t like Tessa, but this isn’t about the Knockout’s Title, it’s about her promise to make sure nobody else goes into Su’s coffins.

**commercial break**

Bound For Glory and BFG television taping video package

Backstage interview with Tessa Blanchard. Says she doesn’t need Allie’s help and she seems right through her.

Match Two: Alisha vs Katarina

Katarina, of course, with no Grado or Joe Hendry after what happened last week.

Callis again asks what’s wrong with Joe for choosing Grado over Katarina.

Grado’s music hits and out he comes with Joe Hendry. Grado has trouble speaking to Katarina and Hendry blames her for his sad state. Hendry says he reacted too quickly last week, and he’s made a music video for Katarina. The song is called “Access Denied” and hits a “what did you do with your pirate brother” line.

Alisha then rolls her up for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Alisha (pin fall)

No Rating

There wasn’t a match here, just a segment and a roll up

Grado then says “Lol” and starts an “Access Denied” chant

Backstage we see KM and Bahh comes out with a glass bowl and a glass cup. KM explains Eli was making fun of him when the Smoke Show music hits, Scarlett says she’s proud of them and says a big strong man deserves gold for around his big strong waist. He then smashes the cup in his hand and he and KM rush off.

**commercial break**

Josh Matthews has a prerecorded interview with Johnny Impact. They recap last week, and the beating Impact took from Aries’ crew. Impact says Aries has his backup, but he will be back for Bound For Glory.

Matthews asks if he’s worried about Kross and Moose, Impact says it’s revealing that’s he’s surrounded himself with goons, and it shows he’s insecure.

Match Three: The Fraternity [Channing Decker & Trent Gibson] vs LAX [Santana & Ortiz](w/ Konnan)

Ortiz starts against the blonde frat bro (Decker), and starts whipping him with a chancla. Forearm from Decker,  he cartwheels and hits a dropkick for one. Tags in the brunette bro (Gibson), and the double team Ortiz. Slam and a leg drop, Santana starts slapping them, The gets caught in a springboard and gets turned inside out.

Cutter on the top rop, covers but Ortiz is on the bottom rope. Santana and Decker in, hits a DDT on Gibson off Deckers shoulders. misses a splash, and Decker hits a topei on Ortiz on the ramp. Gibson has Santana on his shoulders, Ortiz stops Decker, and Santana drops Gibson. LAX double team throw Gibson into a seated Decker in the corner, blockbuster powerbomb on Decker for the 1-2-3

Your winners: LAX – pin fall

3 out of 5

Lopsided win for LAX (duh) as this was mostly a warmup match for them. The Fraternity looks like a solid tag team with a good gimmick, I would like to see them back for real and maybe even a light shot at the Titles some day.

King and the OGz come out, saying there’s a cease fire,  but his boys are hungry. He challenges the LAX saying they won’t do anything. King says he doesn’t regret losing them as family or losing the fans support, he regrets that the kid they hit with the car is still breathing. He then challenges LAX to throw the first punch as we head back stage

Aries being interviewed, Alicia asks what his motivation was. He says he feels as jolly as Santa Claus, just handing out gifts. Says Bahh’s gift will end like everyone else’s shot, in defeat. Says the will be no one left in the locker room when he’s done.

**commercial break**

Bound For Glory package

Matthews recaps what just happened between LAX and the OGz

Another Bound For Glory package

KM giving Bahh a pep talk backstage when Rich Swann comes up and says tonight is his night!

Matt Sydal catches Swann after and says he can help him and show him the way. Swann says in Mexico, he wants to whoop Sydal’s ass

Promo for One Night Only: Night Of the Dummies, tomorrow on the GWN app

Next week we find out who will join the IMPACT! Hall of Fame

Match Four: Kongo Kong vs Brian Cage

*commercial break**

The meet in the middle and Kong knocks Cage off his feet. Forearm shots by Cage and he low bridges Kong onto the ramp. Goes for a slingshot, Kong hits a forearm to stop him, and slingshot crossbody back in for two. Powerslam and along goes up top. Cage meets him, Kong shoves him off and misses a stomp.

Cage charges, caught with a back elbow and his a powerslam. Springboard moonsault gets two. Kong goes for a chokeslam, Cage breaks it, drop toe hold on the top, Kong hits an elbow, rolling splash in the corner, covers for two.

Kong mounts the corner, Cage hits a sit out powerbomb out for two. Cage calls for the discus clothesline, Kong goozles him, throws him in the corner, does it again, goes for a chokeslam that Cage BACKFLIPS OUT OF!!! Cage hits the F-5 for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Brian Cage, pin fall

3.5 out of 5

A way better match then two men of this size should be having together. Kong continues to improve every time he’s in the ring and Brian Cage is just superhuman with some of the things he can do. Highlight of the night backflipping out of the chokeslam for sure!!

Cage has a mic, calls out Callihan and oVe. Says he will walk into BFG and decimate EVERY ONE!

Video package for IMPACT! in Mexico City

Announcers talk about Mexico, the main event and Bound For Glory.

KM and Bahh walking to the ring, and everyone in the locker room is cheering him on.

**commercial break**

Match Five, IMPACT World Championship: Fallah Bahh (w/ KM) vs Austin Aries(c) (w/ Killer Kross & Moose)

Moose and Kross are carrying chairs with them to the ring.

In-ring introductions make this match feel even bigger.

Aries talks smack to start, fakes the test of strength, headlock by Aries. Bahh lowers his head and Aries cartwheels off the ropes. Aries jokes with Moose.

Headlock by Bahh. Aries tries to shoot him off to no luck. Off the ropes a few times, Bahh gets exhausted, Aries chills on the top rope.

**commercial break**

During the commercial,  Aries did some gymnastic while Bahh sucked wind

Bahh hits a huge shoulder tackle, and then says No No NO!! Aries slaps Bahh, who delivers several receipts. Chops Aries down in the corner.

Whips Aries across burns misses the splash. Aries goes over, caught by Bahh but pokes the eyes, then a chop block brings him down. Stomps him and punches and kicks.

Aries begins stomping Bahh’s knee and then takes his back. Chop exchange. Aries tries a sunset flip, Bahh sits but Aries moved.

Aries calls for the Brainbuster, but cannot get him up. He boxes his ears. Bahh counters another Buster attempt into a suplex, chops down Aries. Whips him to the corner and hits a Samoan Drop for two. Aries grabs Bahh’s ankle as attempts to go up the turnbuckles. Aries looks for the Discus Clothesline but Bahh hits a belly to belly. Bahh rolls over Aries,  who counters into the Last Chancery. Bahh breaks on the ropes.

Aries goes for brainbuster, no luck. Discus clothesline, charges Bahh who gets the boot up, splashes him for two and 3/4!!!!

Aries climbs up with Bahh, sunset flip powerbomb into the Last Chansery and Bahh taps out!!

Your winner and STILL IMPACT World Champion: Austin Aries – submission

After the match, the beating begins for Bahh and KM.

They wrap the chair on KM’s head, and hit it with the chair, Aries’ crew stand tall as we go off the air!!

THAT’S ALL FOR TONIGHT!!

One Night Only: Night Of the Dummies is TOMORROW!!! Join me here as I will have all the results!

Don’t forget @OldSkewlPantz on Twitter

and check out The Bearded IMPACT Podcast on all your favorite devices!!

Good night, and happy wrestling!!


Always Use Your Head and visit the official Pro Wrestling Tees store for The Chairshot All t-shirt proceeds help support the advancement of your favorite hard-hitting wrestling website, The Chairshot!


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Impact Coverage

Chris’ IMPACT! Wrestling Results & Report (9/20/18)

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IMPACT Wrestling Results & Report

For the first tim ever, IMPACT! Wrestling comes to us from Mexico!!!

QUICK RESULTS

  • oVe d. Aerostar, El Hijo Del Vikingo & Laredo Kid – pinfall, oVe pinned Vikingo, Doomsday Cutter
  • Eli Drake d. Trevor Lee – pin fall, Gravy Train
  • King d. Chronus – pin fall, spinning back fist
  • Faby Apache d. Alisha – pin fall, sit out powerbomb
  • The Lucha Bros. d. Matt Sydal & Rich Swann – pin fall, Fenix pins Sydal, muscle buster power bomb
  • IMPACT! Title: Austin Aries(c) d. El Texano Jr. – pinfall, brainbuster

________________________________

IMPACT! Wrestling from Mexico

Video package recapping last week starts us off.

Match One: Aerostar, El Hijo Del Vikingo & Laredo Kid vs oVe [Jake Crist, Dave Crist & Sami Calihan]

Nice touch here as the ring announcement for the Mexican trio was in Spanish and announced them as the “Technicos”

Brisk pace to start between Sami and Laredo, everyone in, kicks all around leave Laredo standing. “Mexico” chant for the Technicos. Dave and Laredo in, Laredo flying everywhere, hits a front kick sending Dave to the floor. Jake cuts him off, superkick to the back of the head, then chin, and a crescent kick takes him down. Aerostar in with a headscissor interrupted by Sami with a powerbomb.

Vikingo in and walks across the ring on HIS HANDS!!! Front kick by Sami takes him down. Misses in the corner, Vikingo with a hurricanrana. Hits a tope con hilo, but oVe catches him and hits a powerbomb in the apron. Laredo and Aerostar on the top buckle, Aero goes off Laredo’s shoulders and dives on oVe on the floor. Laredo follows with a delayed moonsault!!! Vikingo follows with a shooting star press!!!

Brawling begins all around he ring. Laredo tosses in Sami, who hits a huge clothesline. Mounted punches and tries to rip the mask. Tags in Jake.

Jake takes out Aero and Vikingo and a savate kick to Laredo off a toss. Sami and Jake toss Laredo out of the corner.

Vikingo tags in against Jake. Jake tosses Vikingo into the buckles, sets him in them and kicks his back. Double kick to a held Vikingo, Laredo breaks up the pin at 2. Dave tags in.

They toss Vikingo who hits a senton on Jake. Aero In, hits a springboard off Dave into a double cutter, then a springboard code breaker on Dave. Vikingo hits a splash, Laredo hits a 450, all men cover, broken up by Sami and Jake.

oVe all pick up an opponent and tombstone, all get two on their man. Dave puts a Vikingo on his shoulders. Jake with a doomsday cutter off Sami’s shoulders for the 1-2-3

Your winners: oVe (pin fall)

Rich Swann is back stage and runs into Matt Sydal. Says they’ve had misunderstanding but he wants Swann to succeed. Susan says he received a divine transmition that they’re supposed to be a tag team, and they’ll face The Lucha Brothers, TONIGHT!!

**commercial break**

Backstage we see Sexy Starr getting ready when Tessa Blanchard walks in. Tells Starr she can’t put her stuff where the champion sits and if she wants to make it she better start moving. Faby Apache then approaches asking what Tessa’s problem is, and telling her around here, they treat each other with respect. Tessa says she thinks she has a better locker room anyway and walks away.

To the announce table for Josh Matthews and Don Callis, and they talk about Tessa’s disrespect and run down the card.

Next up, Eli Drake has an open challenge! Eli starts by saying he came to Mexico looking for a real challenge, but all he found was “tontos! Si!” And challenges anyone to come out.

Match Two: Eli Drake vs Trevor Lee

Trevor Lee answers the challenge with a referee in arm, and Eli jumps him. Trevor gets Eli in the corner and stomps away and celebrates. Kick and uppercut, Trevor then gets whipped across and Eli hits the uppercut. Forearm send Eli to the floor who then trips Trevor on the apron.

Back in, Eli chokes him on the middle rope, then hits a leg drop across the back of his neck. Trevor then drops Eli on the top rope, hits a back breaker for two. More corner work, as they’ve move from one to the next. Eli then charges out with a clothesline, scoop slam, and Eli drops him, goes for the Faby train and Lee reverses into a pin with the tights for two. Eli picks him back up, hits The Gravy Train for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Eli Drake (pin fall)

Earlier today, we see the OGz saying they need to get out of this trash town, and they’re going to get the LAX to break the cease fire.

**commercial break**

Match three: King (w/ Homicide & Hernandez) vs Chronus

Chronus looks like a masked Spartan warrior.

Handshake to start and the OGz jump Chronus. Cutter by Homicide. Now the bell rings, match starts.

Spinning back fist by King for the 1-2-3

Your winner: King (pin fall)

King gets a mic, calls out Konnan, tells him to ignore the cease fire. Calls them nothing but cowards.

**commercial break**

Bound For Glory video package.

LAX back stage and Santana is sick of the OGz. He asks Konnan where his heart went? Konnan tells them not to tell him how to run his business. Says he won’t break the cease fire, because if they do, The Comission will make sure they disappear. Says their match at BFG will be a Concrete Jungle Match.

Match four: Alisha vs Faby Apache

Apache had her head shaved at TripleMania this year.

Collar and elbow to start, Apache takes her down into an ankle lock, Alisha reverses, but reversed back. Arm drags and leg trips by Faby and a stand-off. Kick exchange, then chops, snspamare  dropkick by Faby.

Scoop slam and a leg drop by Faby for two. Drop toe hold onto a surfboard by Faby, into a face buster!!! Back elbow from Alisha stops a charge and then she hits a slow hurricanrana. Forearm strikes, into a wheelbarrow roll up for  one. Alisha charges a corner, Faby hits a superkick for two.

Alisha off the ropes kicks in an headscissor octopus but Faby walks to the ropes. Alisha hits a clothesline to take her down, both women up, Alisha hits a flatliner for two. Alisha goes up top, hits a cross body, then Faby hits a running boot and a sit out powerbomb for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Faby Apache (pin fall)

Josh Matthews interviews Faby with a translator, who says she represents women’s wrestling and she wants to face Tessa NEXT WEEK!!

El Texano Jr. getting interviewed backstage, he welcomes Austin Aries to Mexico. Says he will win the title and ride off into the sunset as champion!

**commercial break**

Scarlett Bordeaux back stage, she’s got a huge announcement next week

Match five: Rich Swann & Matt Sydal vs The Lucha Bros. [Pentagón Jr. & Fenix]

Fenix is wearing his AAA Mega Championship to the ring tonight (nice touch)

Penta shoves Swann as he enters the ring.

Swann and Fenix start. Collar and elbow, go behind by Swann,  reversed, throws Fenix into the ropes, springboard after springboard, trip, Fenix misses a moonsault and they flip away and a stand off.

Pentagón  and Sydal tag in. Taunts to start. Kick from Pentagón, and another when Sydal tries to roll. Fenix tags in and they both kick Sydal. Fenix hits an assisted cutter on Matt and they kick away at Swann. Fenix hits a double stomp for one. Superkick from Fenix to Matt, body scissor splash for two.

Sydal hits a kick for one. Snapmare and he tags in Swann who hits a rolling hilo over the top rope. Swann gets Penta in a corner and snapmares him out. Double team on Penta, he kicks them both, and tags in Fenix.

Springboard double cutter by Fenix, then a tornado con hilo on both men on the floor. Fenix hits a superkick on Sydal on the floor, as he tries to enter he gets an enziguri from Swann, who then hits a twisting con hilo from the top to the floor

**commercial break**

Fenix with a springboard crossbody to Sydal, who hits a spinebuster. Misses a charge, Fenix gets a knee after a roll through. Double team on Fenix, Penta interrupts, Swann sets him up for an enziguri, both Swann and Sydal hits top rope frankensteiners, Swann gets a two on Fenix. Both men up top and interrupted by Penta and Fenix. Fenix hits a double stomp on Swanns neck, then Penta hits a package oiledriver teal on the apron.

Fenix then hits a Muscle Buster powerbomb on Sydal for the 1-2-3

Your winners: The Lucha Bros. (pin fall)

oVe hits the ring and taunts the Brothers from outside the ring. Cage comes out and evens the odds and oVe retreats.

Backstage interview with Aries and his crew. Aries says tonight, he takes on Texano because there’s no one left to challenge him.  Says the title will stay right where it is, on his shoulder. Moose then takes a selfie with the interviewer.

**commercial break**

Backstage the Desi Hit Squad are getting massages, saying next week they have a non-title match against LAX. Gama interrupts  saying it’s not time to relax and they need to get their heads right. They proceed to beat each other.

Joe Hendry’s new music video debuts next talking about his “Best Friend” and how he won’t abandon Grado for Katarina.

GWN Flashback Moment of the Week is an Ultimate X Match: Petey Williams vs Chris Sabin vs Matt Bentley

Video package covering Allie’s promise that no one will go in Su Yung’s coffin

**commercial break**

Announcers hype the main event, saying KM is still recovering at home as well.

They hype next week as well.

They then announce their 2018 IMPACT! Hall of Fame inductee – ABYSS!!!!

Match six, IMPACT! World Championship: El Texano Jr vs Austin Aries(c) (w/Killer Kross & Moose)

Arm ringer by Aries, reversed by Texano and back by AA. Aries gets out of a head scissor take down, and chills on the top rope.

Texano takes down AA and hits a con hilo and chills on the corner himself. AA snaps Texano off the top rope, goes for a con hilo himself but Texano moves. They brawl on the floor as we head to commercial.

**commercial break**

Aries knees Texano in the corner, works him over against the ropes, and in the corner again. Back take to Texano and then he takes him to another corner.

Texano reverses a whip, AA floats over. Texano gets a back rake of his own and a second. Goes for a third against the ropes and AA hits his knees. Texano hits a back breaker and chops in the corner. Texano then hits a leg lariat for two.

AA rolls out and wants to leave. AS he goes back in, he grabs the bull rope, which is taken by the ref. AA grabs the title, referee sees him, Texano hits a superkick, whips him with he rope, covers and AA gets his foot on the rope at 2

Texano goes for a powerbomb, AA reverses for a brainbuster and the 1-2-3

Your winner, and STILL champion: Austin Aries (pin fall)

Johnny Impact appears on the video screen, says they put him on the shelf, and he may not be medically cleared by BFG, but he promises, he will be seeing him a little sooner than he thinks. AA says he’s not stupid, Impact has to be there somewhere.

Impact comes down the ramp, jumps AA in the ring. Superkick to Kross, knocks Moose off the apron. The heels regroup, when all of the suddenness a kendo stick starts hitting them, and Eddie Edwards is jumping them from behind!!!

Impact and Edwards stand tall as when go off the air!!!

 

Don’t forget to follow me on Twitter @OldSkewlPantz

Make sure you check out The Bearded IMPACT! Podcast, every Friday on all your favorite podcast services!!!

GOOD NIGHT EVERYBODY!!!


Always Use Your Head and visit the official Pro Wrestling Tees store for The Chairshot All t-shirt proceeds help support the advancement of your favorite hard-hitting wrestling website, The Chairshot!


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Impact Coverage

Chris’ IMPACT! Wrestling One Night Only: Night of the Dummies Report

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Welcome to a SPECIAL EDITION (the second of the WEEK) of Chris’ IMPACT! Wrestling Results!!

Tonight, is IMPACT! Wrestling’s One Night Only: Night of the Dummies, exclusively on the GWN app

 

QUICK RESULTS

  • Jay Freddie d. Isys Ephex – pin fall, Leaping DDT
  • Fallah Bahh d. “Super Cop” Dick Justice – pin fall, Banzai Drop
  • Slyck Wagner Brown d. Axel Lennox – pin fall, Top Rope Sit Out Dominator
  • Alisha d. Rebel – pin fall, Backpack Stunner
  • Team Tremendous d. Heavenly Bodies – pin fall, Doomsday Sliced Bread, Dan pins Dustin
  • Street Fight: Santana d. Homicide – pin fall, Frog Splash
  • Sean Carr d. Brute Vanslyke – pin fall, Swanton Bomb
  • Moose d. KM – pin fall, Spear
  • Eddie Edwards d. Eli Drake – pin fall, DDT

___________________________________________________________________________________

IMPACT! Wrestling One Night Only: Night of the Dummies

Coming to you from a really small arena in Binghamton, New York, this is Night of the Dummies (YEAH!)

Match One: Jay Freddie vs Isys Ephex

The ring announcer mistakenly calls this a triple threat match

Josh Matthews and Sonjay Dutt calling the action

Arm ringers from both with some chain wrestling to start. Isis with a huge shoulder tackles, and Jay with a receipt. Two arm drags by Jay and a drop kick to take down Isys. Second drop kick and a cover for two. Jay charges the corner, gets placed on top and kicks away Isys, and hits a missile drop kick. Suicide dive puts Jay into the crowd (as they as SUPER close).

Back in the ring, Jay tries to hit a cross body, Isys tries a backbreaker counter and misses. Seated arm bar by Isys and punches to the gut. Cover for one. They exchange chops until Isys knees the midsection and moves Jay to the corner. Shoulder blocks, and he dumps Jay into the middle of the ring. Cover for two.

Punch exchange by both men, Isys gets a knee in and goes for a suplex thats blocked three times, and he drop kicks Jay’s knee out from under him. Supplies by Isys reversed into a reverse DDT by Jay, both men down. Running back elbows by Jay followed by a clothesline. Leg lariat by Jay after a missed clothesline, and a gut wrench duplex gets a 2-count.

Jay up to the second turnbuckle, leaps off to nothing, charges the corner by Isys gets a boot up and hits a DDT for 2. Kick to the back. Jay counters into a Tiger Driver for 2 and 3/4. Jay misses the Shining Wizard and counters in to the Awful Waffle (not making that up) for a 2-count. Isys puts Jay on the top buckle, gets head butted off and Jay hits leaping DDT for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Jay Freddie

Video of Eli Drake playing piano… horribly. He also can’t sing… Welcomes us to the show, says he’s gathered the top talent for us tonight. Sends us to his “guest correspondent” on the street to get the people’s reaction, and he sends it to Eli Drake.

Match Two: Dick Justice vs Fallah Bahh

Dick Justice was the “stand by wrestler” in IMPACT!, but here he is known as “The Super Cop”

Bahh tries to get a chant for himself, but the crowd just chants “Dick”. They shake hands and the fans chant “we want Dick.” Sumo charge and neither man goes down. Justice off the ropes, shoulder charge gets nothing “No No No” from Bahh. Bahh off the ropes with the same result. Second shoulder charge, and a third and fourth, and fifth. No result and now both men are winded. Both men off the ropes, collide and both men go down and out of the ring.

For some reason this starts the first Saintly Fecal Matter chant of the night…

Bahh charges in and they both hit a clothesline. Justice tries a slam, gets nothing but a double sledge to the back. Bahh charges Justice in the corner who pulls out a finger gun (yes, he made a gun shape with his fingers) and that stops Bahh in his tracks and Bahh puts his hands up. Justice orders Bahh to get on the ground, Bahh prays for his life and kisses the finger gun. The Bahh asks “No No No?” and Justice puts the finger gun away in his fanny pack that he’s still wearing. Justice goes for a hug, and Bahh hits a Samoan Drop.

Bahh hits a series of headbutts and then a Hadouken (WHAT?!?!) that takes Justice down. Bahh hits a dropkick (-ish) and then rolls over Justice. Bahh covers for two. Chop exchange by both men, Justice chops him into the corner, then calls time out as he’s winded. More chops then charges across and eats an elbow from Bahh. Bahh then charges and Justice moves and Bahh eats post. Left hand punches from Justice followed by a right, and he bodyslams Bahh.

Justice then leaves the ring and poses for the crowd.  Justice returns to the ring and Bahh hits a belly to belly on Justice. Drags Justice to the corner, Banzai Drop for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Fallah Bahh

After the match, they shake hands and hug it out before Bahh leaves.

Backstage interview with Moose as he gets sentimental about how Binghampton sucks. Talks about how he gets to wrestle KM, saying he didn’t even know there was a man on the IMPACT! roster named KM…

Backstage now with Dick Justice, saying how he isn’t a stand by wrestler, he’s the Super Cop, and how he was going to put Bahh away, but Bahh is one of the smartest men he’s ever faced. Says next time, Justice will be served

Match Three: Slyck Wagner Brown vs Axel Lennox

Lennox looks like a reject from The Ascension…

Collar and elbow tie up to start. Side headlock by Brown, whipped off into a shoulder block, Lennox off the ropes into one of his own and takes down Brown. Chain wrestling take downs leads to a spot where Brown visually signals for Lennox to grab his wrist, which he does, just for Brown to duck under and escape and try his reverse DDT, but Lennox escapes as well.

Back to the collar and elbow. Wrist control to Lennox, but a leg sweep by Brown into a headlock. Lennox runs to the rope but Brown clotheslines his over the top. Brown grabs a fans water bottle and hits Lennox in the head with it. Clothesline by Brown on the floor. Lennox fights back and slams Brown’s face in to the guardrail twice. Lennox breaks up the nonexistent count, which now the referee starts…

Lennox places Brown on the apron and hits a leg drop. Back in the ring, he covers Brown for two. Lennox hits a scoop slam and an elbow drop again for two. Matthews says this maybe a rivalry, Sonjay says its one we know nothing about. Way to build the match guys…

Lennox goes for a suplex, Brown cradles for two. Double clothesline, both men down. Brown charges out of the corner with two clotheslines, then a short DDT after whipping Lennox off the ropes. Reversals a plenty until Lennox hits a spine buster for two. Cutter by Lennox, covers again for two. Punch exchange in the middle of the ring. Goes to the corner by Wagner hits a drop kick and then a power bomb. picks up Lennox, sets him on the top buckle and hits an enziguri to the back, then a sit out Dominator off the top for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Slyck Wagner Brown

An earlier today segment plays, Eddie is looking for his wife. Eddie finds potato salad, decides to take it. Finally finds her in the Knockout’s dressing room and offers her potato salad. Alisha calls Eddie the biggest dummy here and kicks him out.

Match Four: Rebel vs Alisha

Handshake to start, chest bumps from Rebel. Arm ringer by Alisha, Rebel just throws her across the ring and calls Alisha tiny. Waist lock, Rebel just walks her to the rope and hits an elbow. Alisha looking for a crucifix for one, backslide attempt is reversed, Rebel misses a kick on the ropes, Alisha gets a schoolgirl for two. Headlock take over by Alisha, Rebel just stands up. Rebel picks her up and plants her face first and dances over Alisha, then chokes Alisha on the second rope.

Rebel slams Alisha into the turnbuckle, then a second one, and a third. Rebel then hits a handspring clothesline, pulls out Alisha and goes for a delayed suplex, Alisha rolls her up and the roll back and fourth for a few two counts. Alisha chops, Rebel misses a few kicks, and then takes down Alisha. Shining Wizard by Rebel gets two. Alisha catches a kick and makes Rebel do the splits, hits a dropkick for two.

Alisha goes for a body scissor, Rebel grabs the hair and then face plants Alisha for two. Off the ropes, Rebel hits a roundhouse kick and celebrates. Referee checks Alisha to see if she’s knocked out, she’s not, Rebel covers for two. Rebel goes for the handspring clothesline again but Alisha moves and hits a palm strike and forearms to take down Rebel. Alisha hits a charging forearm and a bulldog for two.

Rebel hits a scoop slam, goes to the second buckle. Alisha hits the worst looking backpack stunner for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Alisha

They shake hands and hug it out after

Backstage with Eli Drake, he congratulates Alisha, and Jimmy Jacobs is sitting behind him. Jacobs wonders why he’s not on the card tonight. Eli says he will have a special Fact of Life, and Jacobs can be the guest.

Alisha backstage, says she can hang with the best of the Knockout’s Division.

Match Five: Heavenly Bodies [Desirable Dustin & Gigolo Justin] vs Team Tremendous [Detective Dan Berry & Detective Billy Carr]

Justin starts against Dan. Shoulder tackles takes down Justin and into a headlock. Forearm by Justin, punches from Dan. dropkick by Dan takes him down. Tags in Billy who chops him in the corner. Scoop slam, tags in Dan who hits a senton over the top rope for two. Knee by Justin and he tags in Dustin. Dropkick by Dan and he whips Dustin into the rope. Charges but is sent over the top, he elbows Justin, and Dustin, before Justin knocks Dan off the ring.

Cover by Dustin for 2. Dustin then throws Dan back out and Justin hits a senton off the apron. Justin tags in and rolls Dan back, cover for two. Short arm clothesline gets two again. Uppercut and he tags in Dustin who hits a leg lariat for two. Ground and pound by Dustin before Dan starts fighting back. Justin tags in, Dustin hits an arm ringer and Justin hits a moonsault off Dustin, referee is distracted, and finally counts for a one. Sanjay and Josh are talking about Josh frosting his tips here, it seems they’ve lost interest too.

Dan fights back, but can’t escape. Dan then whips Justin over the top rope, and Dan tries to tag Bill, but Dustin pulls him off the apron. Bodies double stop Dan in their corner. Justin with a scoop power bomb, go for a rocket launcher, but Dan moves. Justin stops Dan from getting a tag, then he finally does and Billy comes in like a house of fire. Exploder duplex to Justin gets two, Dustin comes off the top, Billy moves and Dustin splashes Justin.  Billy tosses both men, and Dan hits a flip topi onto the Bodies on the outside. Justin is thrown in to Billy, who tosses him with an outsiders edge to a flatliner by Dan. Referee counted to three on the pin, but says he only did two as Dustin breaks it up. Billy gets Justin up for a Doomsday Device, but Dustin tags himself in. Double flap jack on Billy, Dan fights off both men, eats a super kick from Justin and a spinning power bomb from Dustin. Billy then throws Justin in to break up the pin.

Enziguri on Dustin by Dan, Superkick by Billy, Doomsday Sliced Bread by Dan for the 1-2-3

Your Winners: Team Tremendous

From earlier today, we see Homicide, and he says he is LAX, Konnan is despicable, and the little bitches in LAX are going to learn.

The Fact of Life with Eli Drake

Eli Drake comes out. Eli has had a cord hanging down the entire time, and he stops to plug it back in mid way through his talking segment. He pulls out a smart phone to show off the mobile version of the Eli Drake Dummy Button, so we can have a live version of The Facts Of Live. The app plays “Dummy, Yeah” every time you press the screen. He then brings out “The Zombie Princess” Jimmy Jacobs.

Jimmy says tonight is about what Eli needs, as he doesn’t understand what he’s getting into when he faces Eddie Edwards. Drake says he’s insulted by this talk and says he’s out of here, and Jimmy can say and do whatever he wants. Jimmy starts running down Binghamton, and says theres got to be someone out there who needs his help. He then calls out Santana from the LAX

Santana immediately gets in Jacobs’ face, who says he’s here to help. Jacobs also said he’s heard a rumor that Ortiz got jumped by the OGz, meaning Santana is all alone tonight. Jacobs offers to help Santana in his match tonight, one OG to another. Santana looks unimpressed, shakes Jacobs’ hand, and then hits a front kick to his face and a rolling senton in the corner.

Santana then calls out Homicide to start their match.

Match six, Street Fight: Santana vs Homicide (How does this not violate the cease fire?!?!)

Punches by both to start, Santana throws out Homicide and hits a suicide dive. Punches and chops back and forth, Homicide attempts to climb the scaffolding, and Santana hits a bodyslam on the floor. Thrusts to the throat by Homicide, and he chokes Santana on a ringside chair. Homicide then gets the chair, hits Santana in the gut. Homicide then gets a stick from a fan, but gets booted in the gut. Santana then jabs the metal rod into Homicide’s face.

Santana drapes Homicide over the guardrail and slams the chair into his back. Santana then clotheslines Homicide into a fan, poke in the eye by Homicide. Homicide slams Santana into the post and gets the chair. Homicide then tells the fans to shove it, and Santana hits about to the gut and throws a chair at Homicide. Santana throws him back in the ring, goes from a cross body, Homicide rolls through and gets a two count. Moonsault by Santana gets two.

Belly to Belly throw by Homicide off the ropes, and then an exploder by Homicide, bridged in to a two count. Homicide tells fans to suck it and then flips them off before Santana hits a boot to the face in the corner. Homicide puts Santana on the top and hits a cutter off the turnbuckle, gets two before Santana gets his foot on the bottom rope. Homicide threatens the referee before he charges the corner, nobody home as Santana sidesteps. Super kick by Santana, Michinoku Driver by Santana, who goes up top and hits a frog splash for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Santana

Backstage again with Eli Drake, who’s rehydrating. Eli lists off his three favorite moments of the night, all which involve himself. Also says in Fall of 2019, Night of the Dummies 2 will have no Jimy Jacobs as theres no room for princesses on his show.

Santana backstage, says by taking out Ortiz, the OGz have made this put bull more rabid.

Match seven: Brute Vanslyke (w/Father Derek) vs Sean Carr

Collar and elbow, Brute moves Sean into the corner. Collar and elbow again, he throws Sean in this time. Misses a charge, whip out and Bruce cartwheels out. Sunset flip attempt, Brute goes to sit, Sean moves. Standing moonsault by Sean gets one. Sean calls him out, Brute charges and Sean lowers the top rope. Sean hits a rolling sexton off the apron.

Back inside, Sean goes up top, but Father Derek shakes the rope, and a big boot by Brute takes him down. Face rake and Brute chokes him in the corner. Father Derek then chokes Sean on the bottom rope. Brute with a scoop slam followed by an elbow drop for two. Backbreaker by Brute, Sean gets up into another backbreaker. Sean reverses a third into a hurricanrana, putting Brute into the corner. Chops and a charging forearm, then a popup headbutt by Brute, then a cross body for two.

Brute puts Sean on the top, Sean fights back, hits a drop kick but Brute stays up. Enziguri and a Code Breaker, Brute is still up. Sean goes up top and hits a moonsault taking Brute down for a two count. Super kick misses, Bruce hits a wind up chokeslam and gets two. Sean slips out of a Razor’s Edge, can’t whip the big man. Big splash in the corner from Brute. Vader Bomb by Brute for two.

Brute goes back up, but misses a second Vader Bomb. Carr up top, Father Derek interferes, and gets a big boot from Sean on the apron. Brute then throws in Carr, who fights off Brute until Brute hits a left arm lariat. Brute goes up top, misses the splash! Super kick by Carr, and a second, ducks a clothesline and hits a third super kick!! Carr goes up top, Swanton Bomb for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Sean Carr

Fallah Bahh and KM backstage celebrating, but Bahh is upset KM isn’t wearing his matching gear. KM says if he can’t beat Moose wearing his gear, he will wear the matching gear for the rest of his career.

Match eight: Moose vs KM

Moose gets a mic, talking about how he went to Syracuse, just down the road. Says the fans didn’t help his career and Binghamton sucks. Tells KM to hurry up so he can beat him and get out of this God forsaken town.

KM starts the “Douche” chants

Moose ducks in the corner to start. Moose hits a boot, KM hits a shoulder block taking Moose down. Then another. Punch exchange, KM gets the best of it, and clotheslines Moose over the top. Moose pulls KM out and they fight on the floor. Moose goes to chop KM against the ring post, KM ducks and Moose hits his hand.

Moose then rams KM into the post. Referee still isn’t counting…

Moose gets a chair, sits KM in it. Punches and chops, Moose flips off the crowd and hits a running kick to KM’s face in the chair. Moose puts KM back on the chair, goes for the running kick again. KM catches him with a chokeslam on the apron. Finally the referee starts counting…KM asks him to stop counting as he goes and gets Moose. Moose then hits a belly to back duplex on the apron. Moose picks up KM and drops him again on the apron before rolling back in to the ring. KM gets back in to the ring at 9.

Moose uses ground and pound on KM and throws him back out. KM back in at nine again. Stomps from Moose, a snap mare, and a seated dropkick for two. Moose calls for the finish, can’t get KM up for the suplex, so he punches him. Tries the suplex again, KM counters into one of his own. KM puts Moose in the corner, whip reversed, KM boots Moose, but is dropkicked to the floor over the top!

Moose rolls out after KM and whips him into the ring post. Moose grabs the chair again and gives it to a fan. Moose parts the crowd, and fakes like he’s throwing KM into them, but rolls him into the ring. KM hits a baseball slide, and rolls Moose back in. Moose intercepts KM on the way back in, goes off the ropes and eats a POUNCE from KM. Both men down.

Moose thrown KM on the ramp, landing on his feet, KM hits a chokeslam and a slingshot splash for two. KM hits a neck breaker on Moose, Moose reverses a full nelson for two, hits a pump kick and them KM hits a clothesline, and a fell nelson slam for two. KM misses a corner charge, Moose charges into an elbow, and the Moose hits the Go To Hell for two! Moose looks for the Spear, eats a knee. KM behind, and Moose hits a low blow, a Spear, and gets the 1-2-3

Your winner: Moose

Bound For Glory video package

KM backstage wondering what he did wrong. Bahh is in the back eating, KM asks if he’s going to rub in his lost. KM is reminded of the bet, says he was kidding

Match nine: Eli Drake vs Eddie Edwards (w/Kenny the Kendo Stick)

Eddie high fives nearly ever member of the audience (yes the arena is that small)

Eli has a mic. Names Eddie a dummy, and says theres no kendo sticks allowed in a match with him. Tells the ref he has to disqualify him if he won’t get rid of it.

Eddie slaps Eli on the butt, who then rolls out of the ring, grabs a mic and says this is his show, so there will be no “ass slapping” on his show.

Collar and elbow tie up, headlock by Eli. Eddie shoots him off, shoulder tackle by Drake takes him down. Arm drag by Eddie, and a second and Eli rolls out again. Eli has a mic again. Says he hates cheaters, and arm drags are illegal.

Collar and elbow again. Eddie walks him to the corner. Eli with a low blow, and takes Eddie to the other corner. Whip reversed and Eddie hits a belly to belly throw. Eli rolls out again as Eddie does a snow angel in the ring. Eli has a mic and says he hates cheaters, and a braggart, no snow angels are allowed in the match.

Eli reenters and leaves again. Eddie joins him and the fight on the floor. Eli thumbs Eddie’s eye to take advantage, but gets chopped again! Cameras lose both men, as the chops continue. Eli rolls in, followed by Eddie, and he rolls back out. Eli has a mic again. Hates cheaters. Chops are illegal now.

Eli keeps talking and Eddie hits a big boot, sending him to the floor. Eddie goes for a dive, Eli hits him with the mic to the head. Eli now stomps away at Eddie on the floor. Eli makes Eddie wave to a fan, and then slams him back first in to the apron. Eli rolls Eddie onto the apron and hits an elbow. Eli slingshots Eddie into the bottom rope. Seated clothesline for two. Now Eli chokes Eddie on the middle tope, leaps out and slaps Eddie’s face.

Punches from Eddie, and a thumb to Eli’s eyes. Whips Eli across but misses the splash, Eli hits a neck breaker for a two count. Eli drops a knee and chokes Eddie again on the rope. Leg drop across the back on the middle rope. Kicks and a cover for two. Eli drops some elbows and locks on a reverse chin lock. Eddie bites his thumb, Eli lets go and hits a neck breaker for two. Eli then bites Eddie’s thumb. Outside the ring, Eli gets a chair, referee threatens a DQ, Eli says he was just kidding. Eddie then smashed Eli’s face in to the ring. Eddie takes a drink of a fans soda, and spits it into the eyes of Eli. Eli then pulls Eddie face first into the ramp. Eli rolls Eddie back in, covers for one.

Eddie reverses a scoop slam, Eli hits a neck breaker for two. Eddie’s gum here falls out of his mouth, landing on the mat, and he casually picks it back up and continues to chew it, grossing out both Josh and Sonjay. Rear chin lock by Eli, Eddie counters with a jaw breaker. Back to the chin lock, Eli throws Eddie to the buckle, Eddie hits a back elbow and a dropkick, both men are down. Scoop power slam by Eli, and then an elbow drop for two.

Eli picks up Eddie, hitting a snap suplex. Eli to the second rope, Eddie hits an enziguri. Eddie goes up top, hits the Frankensteiner. Punch exchange by both men. Eli takes advantage but Eddie doesn’t feel the pain. Two back elbows and then Eddie sends Eddie to the floor and hits a quebrada. Fans chanting “use the leg” as a fan holds up his prosthetic leg. Eddie takes it. Eddie kisses the prosthetic foot (ewwwww). Eli gets a mic, saying prosthetics are illegal. Eddie hits Eli with the camera man. As the refs was checking on the camera man, Eddie hits Eli with the prosthetic leg, then pretends its his in the ring before giving it back.

Both men back in, Eddie tries a Tiger Driver, hits a gordbuster, then hits the Tiger Driver for two and 3/4!!! Eddie then talks to his kendo stick before picking it up. Referee tries to stop Eddie, fans chant “hit the ref.” Eddie goes up, Eli hits the ref into the ropes dropping Eddie. Eli gets a chair, referee stops him, Eli shoves him down. Eddie hits Eli with the kendo stick and hits a DDT, covers Eli for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Eddie Edwards

Eddie then does a snow angel in the ring to celebrate

Eddie celebrates with the Xcite Wrestling crowd as we go off the air.

THAT’S ALL SHE WROTE!

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Impact Coverage

Chris’ IMPACT! Wrestling vs. The UK Results & Report (9/9/18)

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Join Chris Pinheiro for this morning’s edition of IMPACT Wrestling vs. The UK on Twitch.tv!


Results

  • Rich Swann defeated Trevor Lee and Matt Sydal – pinfall on Lee, roll up
  • Adam “Flex” Maxted & Robbie X defeat Jake McCluskey & Lucas Steel – pinfall Robbie X pinned Jake McCluskey, standing shooting star press
  • Su Yung defeated “Stunning” Lana Austin – pinfall, Panic Switch
  • Impact World Tag Team Titles: LAX(c) defeated Jody Fleisch & Jonny Storm – pinfall, Street Sweeper
  • Joe Hendry defeated Eli Drake – pinfall, roll up
  • Eddie Edwards & Justin Sysum defeated Moose & Nathan Cruz – pinfall, Cruz pinned Cruz after a 450 Splash
  • Barbed Wire Bat Death Match: Sami Callihan defeated Jimmy Havoc – pinfall, piledriver on thumbtacks

Play By Play

Welcome to IMPACT! Wrestling vs The UK, live from MediaCon 2018 and only on Twitch.tv!

Sonjay Dutt and Andy Boy Simmons are on commentary from Manchester, England, and they run down the card to start.

Both men joke that they’re more of a color commentator, and theres audio and video issues to start, hopefully nothing that keeps happening throughout the show.

Match One, X-Division Triple Threat Match: Trevor Lee vs. Rich Swann vs. Matt Sydal

I’m going to keep up with this the best I can, but it’s going to get crazy!! On top of the fast action, Twitch keeps playing ads about every minute, so I hope that doesn’t interfere too much (but it will)

Smoke has filled the arena from Sydal’s entrance, making for an interesting visual with the lighting…

All three men jaw with each other to start. Swann starts dancing, Sydal starts with kicks to everyone. Swann of Sedan’s back and hits a hurricanrana on Lee. Dropkick to Sydal sends him to the outside. Corner punches from Swann to Sydal, big right to Lee knocks him off the apron, Sydal rolls Swann up for 2. Snapmare to a kick from Sydal to Swann, pin for 2 and a Twitch ad…

Sydal with a submission on Swann, hits a vertical suplex on Lee as well, and then Lee breaks up the submission. Lee pins Swann for 2. Hard buckle whip and Lee pins Swann for 2. Lee in full control of Swann, stomping his fingers and short forearms to the back. Sedan goes for a tilt a whirl, Swann reverses into a head scissor take down. Swann hits a flipping topei con hilo to both men on the floor.

Sydal goes under the ring and hits Swann with a chair in view of nobody. Back in and Lee hits a back breaker on Sydal for 2. Punch and kick exchange, and Sydal takes control with a head kick. Sydal hits a spinning neck breaker on Lee but the pin was broken up but Swann. Swann with a rana on Sydal, then an enziguri to Lee in the corner. Followed by one on the top rope, and a hurricanrana off the top gets a 2 count. Sedan in and throws Swann to the floor. Lee drops Sydal into the turnbuckle.

Lee with a big slam on Sydal, Swann then hits a super kick, rolls him up and a Twitch ad plays… really bad timing there!!

Apparently, that roll up got the 1-2-3. Nice of Twitch to let the pinfall play…

Your Winner: Rich Swann

Swann then flips off the crowd after the win and taunts them all on his way out to cheers

Video package for Bound For Glory plays.

Match Two: Lucas Steel & Jake McCluskey vs. Robbie X & Adam “Flex” Maxted

Twitch ad ends and we are brought into the action. Robbie X and Steel start it off (at least what I saw). Collar and Elbow, Steel pushes X into the corner and beals him out. X tags in Maxted. Corner punches from Maxted, Steel misses the clothesline, two flying shoulder tackles and Steel is still on his feet. Maxed with a shoulder tackle off the top finally knocks him down, Steel tags in Jake. Maxed tags in X, runs back and forth, spring board cutter caught, then a step up rana by X. Knee to Jake in the corner, X over the top and a dropkick. X tags in Maxted, delayed suplex to Jake.

X back in, double team on Jake with a arm drag take over. X with a hand spring double boots to Steel, and Maxted launches Robbie X over the top rope onto their opponents. X rolls Jake back in, kick to Steel, second one is caught and X eats the ring apron. McCluskey then dropkicks Maxted to the floor. Another drop kick in the ring as Steel handles X on the outside. Jake stomps away at X then tags in Steel.

Steel chokes X on the floor, big right hand, slams X into the corner. Big slam on X and Steel is in full control. In the corner, Steel tags Jake, Robbie tries to fight out, cannot make the tag. Steel hits flatliner and Jake with a  basement drop kick for two. McCluskey whips X across, charges in and eats an elbow. Comes back with a kick and a sliding German suplex. Jake springboards back in and hits a dropkick off the second rope as we go to another Twitch ad….

X with a jawbreaker, still can’t make the tag. Enziguri to Steel, X finally take Maxted. Big splash in the corner, floats over and a drop kick to both opponents. Spine buster on Jake, springboard drop kick on Steel. Cover on Steel broken up by Jake. Jake puts Maxted in the corner, tags himself in.

Big duplex sees Maxted land on his feet and X joins him. X Factor by Jake on Robbie X gets 2. Jake pulls X to the corner and goes up top moonsault eats boots, X hits a death valley driver and a shining wizard before Steel hits X with a Pop Up Jones. Maxed in and exchanging punches with Steel, followed by a press slam. Steel goes for a power bomb, Maxted floats out. Maxed hits blockbuster off the second rope.

X with kicks to McCluskey, handspring cutter met by a super kick in mid air. McCluskey gives X to Steel, goes for a powebomb, rants out, Maxted with a springboard sligblade on Steel, X with a springboard cutter to Jake, a standing shooting star and pins McCluskey for the 1-2-3!

Great match, not much selling, but they were quick, big moves were big and powerful, and all four guys looked really good.

Your winners: Adam “Flex” Maxted & Robbie X

GWN App video package

Match Three: “Stunning” Lana Austin vs. Su Yung

Crowd 100% behind the hometown girl, Lana Austin. Su screams to start and Lana backs off into the corner. Lana goes for a roll up for 2, backslide for 2 again. Big European uppercut and a butt attack before Twitch shows another commercial….

Austin is now in the corner, hits a cross body for 2, Yung retreats to the outside. Basement drop kick by Austin, and now they fight to the outside. Chops and forearms against the guardrail, referee not even counting them out…

Su reverses a whip and Austin runs into the guardrail. Young then scares off the referee before hitting a duplex on the floor. Austin laded head first on Su with this move, but Yung then rolls her back in the ring.

Cover only gets one. Lana fights back, Su throws her down. Snapmares Austin across the ring, then back again. Young chokes Austin in the corner then sets Lana on the top rope, hanging her down in the tree of whoa. Rapid dire kicks to the back, Su runs corner to corner, Lana pulls up, Su hits a hanging neck breaker from the top rope and Austin rolls to the floor.

Su grabs a chair, and again scares the referee away. Sets up the chair and slams Lana’s face into it before sitting her on the chair and hitting a palm strike. Su rolls in to break up the count, takes off the dress, and hits a rolling dive onto Austin on the chair from the apron.

Su rolls Austin back in and covers her for 2. Su kicks away at her left thigh, then tries for a submission but is kicked off. Clotheslines from Austin and a knee to the gut as we go back to commercial… (these are getting annoying)

We come back and both women are down. On their knees, both women start exchanging hands. Su is the first to be knocked down. Su goes off the ropes, Lana hits two kicks and a headbutt called The Manchester Kiss. Goes for the Killswitch, Su gets outs, and she hits a rolling elbow for two. Su spider crawls up the turnbuckles and slams Austin into the second buckle for two.

Su now puts on the bloody glove. Lana with another huge headbutt. DDT reversed, Panic Switch reversed, Austin hits a DDT and Su rolls to the floor. Su then throws the chair in and as the referee was distracted, Su spits the mist into Lana’s eyes! Panic Switch hits and 1-2-3

Your winner: Su Yung (pin fall)

Another good back and forth match, both women looked strong, both women did really well

Su then walks up the ramp with the chair and Austin’s face is covered in mist.

Video package for Bound For Glory weekend plays. The Tag Team Championship match is up next!

Match four, IMPACT World Tag Team Championship: Jody Fleisch & Jonny Storm vs. LAX [Santana & Ortiz](c)

Storm and Fleish extend their hands, LAX shake and then attack from behind. Chops against the ropes to Storm, now a double team irish whip, he floats out and Fleish hits a spear. Storm hits a springboard Total Elimination. Flesh fakes a dive, Storm does a twisting con hilo to the outside on LAX.

Fleisch with a snap make, tags in Storm, double drop kick gets two on Santana. Springboard Lolita, then Storm walks the ropes into a lucha arm drag, followed by a rana, tag to Fleisch. Santana floats over, heads to the corner, Ortiz tags himself in, and a big arm drag controls Storm. Single leg trip, Ortiz runs the ropes, rolls Fleisch, off the ropes, Fleisch cartwheels outs, moonsault lands on his feel, enziguri by Ortiz, then a reverse rana by Fleisch.

Clothesline by Ortiz, and Fleisch rolls outside. LAX both off the ropes, topeis on both sides take out both men on the floor. Santana throw Fleish back into the ring, chokes him in the middle of the ring. Neck breaker gets a two count, second pin also gets two. Santana tags in, double stomp off the top.Snap duplex by Ortiz gets two, followed by a snap mare into a headlock.

Fleisch fights out, off the ropes, eats a back elbow from Santana, Ortiz tags in. Dropkick connects and a shimmy from Ortiz. LAX hits a double team power bomb, Santana locks Fleisch in a Boston crab. Santana tags in Ortiz who puts Fleisch on the top rope. Fleisch shoves him off, goes for a shooting star press, lands on his feet, and then hits a Spanish Fly on Santana. Ortiz knocks Storm off the apron, isolating Fleisch. Double team whip, and Fleisch hits a double sunset codebreaker on LAX. That was sloppy. Storm tagged in, hits a cross body on both. Hurricanrana on Ortiz for two, moves so Santana hits Ortiz, and Fleisch hits a shooting star for two.

Ortiz hits a thumb to the eye and tags in Santana. LAX hits double back drop and Santana goes for a moonsault of Ortiz’s back, Fleisch gets the knees up. Fleisch hits a moonsault off the top rope to LAX on the floor!!! The first sainted fecal matter chat breaks out followed by a this is awesome!!

Jonny sets Santana on top, hits a Spanish Fly, then a Jody hits standing shooting star for two. Jonny Storm then throws Fleish off the top rope into a moonsault on Santana who kicks out at two!!! Santana fighting off both men, hits a double enzeguri. Flesh goes for a reverse rana, Santana walks to the ropes, Fleish turns it into a tarantula, then everyone adds into the submission, but their in the ropes and have to break. Flesh hits a super kick on Ortiz.

Dropkicks for everyone and everyone is down. This is awesome chant again. Springboard DDT by Fleisch is blocked, but then hits a slam on Santana. Storm then leaps into a powerbomb by Storm onto Santana called The British Airways for two. Santana springboards off Ortiz and hits a sexton on Fleisch in the corner. Street Sweeper hit by LAX for the 1-2-3

Your winners and STILL World Tag Team Champions: LAX (pin fall)

Storm brings the belts into the ring and looks to be trying to steal them. Storm and Fleisch then put the belts around the waists of LAX, who then get on one knee and extend their hands. Fleisch and Storm shake and then raise the hands of LAX

Chris Jericho cruise video package

Match five: Eli Drake vs Joe Hendry

Eli with the mic before Hendry comes out. Welcomes everyone to the Church of E-Li-Drake. Eli has the fans in the palm of his hands, they’re cheering him and booing Hendry. Says Hendry has a first class ticket on the Gravy Train, and THAT is just a fact of life.

Henry comes out, also with a mic. Henry begs for cheers, and they boo him some more. Henry said after he arrived, Eli’s catch phrase changed from “Dummy…Yeah” to “I don’t want Joe Hendry to make any more videos about me”

Henry said people want to hear a song from JOE HEN-DRY to which people boo again. He begins singing anyway, about Eli becoming Hendry’s bitch.

Drake goes for a clothesline and the action is underway. Shoulder tackle knocks down Drake, running the ropes and a knee from Hendry takes him down again. Eli pulls Joe out, and is then slammed in to the apron. Big chop, Eli then slams Joe into the guardrail. Referee again being lenient and Eli rolls Hendry in. misses the elbow. Henry same Sli into the second buckle, then Eli with a shoulder tackle in the corner. Henry misses a Stinger Splash and Eli hits a neckbreaker.

Stomps and punches by Eli before he chokes Joe on the second rope, then dumps him to the outside. Eli follows him with a double axe handle to the back. Henry with a right and a chop before Eli rakes the eyes. Elbowby Eli on the apron the Hendry as the referee finally starts to count. Back in Eli hits another elbow and stands over Joe.

Swinging neck breaker gets a two. Eli mugs for the camera, but gets caught with upercuts by Hendry. Eli floats out of the supplies into a neck breaker and gets two.

Two quick slams by Eli and he hits a leaping elbow for 2. Into a headlock. Fans chant for Joe to tap. Eli with a huge clothesline then punches as Joe attempts to stand back up.  back elbow and a neck breaker from Hendry, floats over in the corner and hits a DDT on Drake for 2.

Henry picks the ankle and locks in the Ankle Lock in the middle of the ring. Eli rolls out ad Hendry eats the buckle. Henry hits fallaway slam but again gets two. Eli hits a jaw breaker, goes for a Gravy Train, reversed by Hendry into a roll up for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Joe Hendry (pin fall)

Bound For Glory video package

Match six: Nathan Cruz & Moose vs. Justin Sysum & Eddie Edwards

Moose has new entrance music, a rap song with no more “Moose” chant.

Edwards puts his kendo stick in the corner and then applies chapstick for some reason…

Moose goes to start  so Edwards tags in  and Moose retreats. Eddie and Crus will officially start. Chain wrestling to start. Eddie goes to kick Moose again, who backs off. Eddie chant. Headlock by Cruz, shoved off and hits a shoulder block. Eddie hits an overhead belly to belly and makes snow angels in the ring. Tags in Sysum. System hits a springboard cross body off the second rope for two. Moose tags himself in.

Sysum dodges, but then gets thrown into the corner. floats over, goes for the cross body and Moose catches him. Lands on his feet and hits a tilt a whirl head scissor. Dropkick after Moose kips up knocks him back down. Eddie gets tagged in, Moose takes off and tags out.

Eddie gets whipped across, Moose gabs his ankles, and Cruz hits a high knee to take over. Eddie whipped into the buckle and Moose tags in, choking Eddie in the corner. Mounted punches, then he bites Eddie. Moose digs his hand into his trunks and goes to chop Eddie who ducks and hits chops. Moose hits a big drop kick and tags out. Cruz and Moose work him over in the corner as Sysum tries to help.

Sysum snaps Eddie down and locks on a headlock. Fans chant Eddie again. Eddie bites him to escape, tags in Sysum, Cruz tags Moose. System hits an uppercut, and gets whipped into the corner. Sunning clothesline by Sysum, Moose escapes after, Sysum floats over and hits an exploder duplex. Cruz comes in and gets tossed out. Moose whips Sysum toward his corner and Cruz hits a clothesline from the apron. Double team work on Sysum now in the corner, Cruz hits a big back suplex for two.

Cruz with  hard whip to the corner on Sysum and tags in Moose. Huge chop by Moose. Eddie on the apron has his kendo stick. Moose whips Sysum to a corner, but eats a boot when he charges. Dropkicks Sysum off the top rope to the floor, and goes out after him, then throws Sysum back in, only for Sysum to hit a piscatto over the top to the floor. Cruz prevents the tag, then Moose pulls Edwards off the apron. Cruz and Moose double team Sysum in the ring. Cruz legal again, and Sysum is in the bad corner. Trying to fight out, Cruz catches the feet and slams him down for two.

Eddie ripped a turnbuckle pad off, as Moose looks for a suplex, Blocked three times by Sysum before Moose hits a chop. Sysum suplexes Moose, Cruz cuts off the tag. Sysum evades and tags in Eddie. Back elbows all around, followed by chops. Eddie then hits a topi suicida on Moose that takes out the guardrail!!!

Back inside, Eddie hits a gordbuster and hits a big double chop on Cruz for two. Eddie charges Crus in the corner and eats a gordbuster. Cruz then picks him up, Eddie floats behind and eats an elbow. Crus charges Eddie, cuts off by Sysum with a spear!! Eddie hits a Tiger Driver and Moose pulls the referee out of the ring, breaking up the pin.

Moose hits the Go To Hell out of the corner, Cruz follows with a diving headbutt for just 2!! Moose tagged back in, talking trash to Eddie. Eddie has lost it and feels no pain from Moose’s punches. Eddie tears his shirt, begging for a chop. They exchange chops, Moose removes his glove, but eats a big chop from Eddie, Superkick, and another, followed by a headbutt from Moose. Eddie hits a Blue Thunder Bomb on Moose, but cannot make the cover!!

Both men tag their partners, and its a slugfest. Cruz eats buckle, Sysum follows with a clothesline, then an exploder duplex. Calls for the 450 Splash and Moose takes him down. Boston Knee Party takes down Moose and goes and gets the kendo stick. Eddie brings the stick in, the referee is distracted by Sysum. Moose moves out of the ring and Eddie hits Cruz with the stick. 450 Splash from Sysum for the 1-2-3

Your winners: Eddie Edwards & Justin Sysum (pin fall)

Chris Jericho Cruise video package

Blund For Glory video package

Neither of these have audio, we head the announcers agreeing to get some water, then we hear the ring announcer telling the audience that this can get bloody and violent, and if anyone is going to get offended, it would be best to leave now.

Match seven, Barbed Wire Bat Death Match: Jimmy Havoc vs Sami Callihan

The fans explode for Jimmy Havoc when he emerges from the back.

Loud reaction for Sami as well, but mixed cheers and boos. Fans chant O-V-E with Sami.

In this match, the bat is sitting on the top of the ramp, first man to get it can do whatever he wants with it. There are also other weapons in the corners of the ring, including bags of mystery stuff.

Stare down to start. Jimmy’s Gonna Kill You chant. Jimmy flips off Sami, then a big slap. Tilt a whirl head scissor take over by Havoc, then Sami dumps him on the apron, gets clotheslined down. Sami goes for a baseball slide, no one home, Havoc hits a basement drop kick and gets a staple gun. He staple guns Sami’s throat. Now a staple gun to the butt. Sami gets the gun and throws it, Havoc then slams him into the barricade. Sami gets revenge and controls Havoc. Spits on his hand and chops the post.

Sami ducks a chop, Jimmy stops, slaps the back of his head and pokes the eyes. Havoc hits Sami with a chair over the head. Havoc runs around the ring, stops at Sami and thumbs his eyes when he uncovers. Another chairshot and Jimmy throws a chair at Sami. Sami gets a drink from a fan and eats a slap from Sami, who begins throwing chairs at Havoc.

On the apron, Samie picks up Havoc who hits him with a chop. They exchange standing front kicks, Havoc then goes for a piedriver, reversed, and Sami grabs the eyes. Sami then hits a piledriver on Havoc on the ring apron!

Sami shoves the referee and spits on him. Throws Havoc back in the ring, followed by a chair. Now Sami has the staple gun and he goes for Havoc’s face. Knee to Havoc’c gutHavoc goes for a sunset flip and Sami reverses by stapling Havoc’s head.

Sami gets a bag and pulls out a magazine which he staples to Havoc’s shoulder blade. Havoc is bleeding. Staples another magazine to the other shoulder. Another page to the chest. Another bag stapled to his face. Havoc is calling for Sami to bring it. Sami rips the pages off of Havoc. Havoc rips the pages off his face, but gets kicked in the balls.

Sami pulls out a drill bit and starts hitting Havoc in the head with it. Sami then drives the bit into Havoc’s open wound. Sami now starts heading for the bat and gets it with no opposition and brings it back to the ring. Havoc flips Sami off agin, and grabs Sami’s finger. Havoc uses the paper to give Sami a paper cut in-between his fingers and under his arm. Havoc then gives him a paper cut in the mouth. Havoc then grabs Sami’s tongue and gives him another paper cut. Havoc the gets a lemon and starts squirting juice into Sami’s open paper cuts. No, you didn’t read that wrong. A lemon.

Sami grabs the bat and hits Jimmy in the gut, then rakes the right arm with it, drawing blood. Sami grabs the lemons, and squeezes the juice into the cuts on Havoc’s arm. Havoc then grabs the staple gun and staples the cuts closed. Havoc sets a chair up in the center of the ring, picks Sami up on his shoulders, and plants him on the top turnbuckle. Sami fights back, shoving Havoc off. European uppercut by Havoc and he hits a Death Valley Driver onto the chair, and a pump kick gets two.

Sami flips off Havoc, who hits a second DVD onto the chairs for two again! Havoc grabs a bag and dumps thumbtacks onto the chair. The he takes the barbed wire off the bat, and wraps it around his left arm. Sami reverses a rip cord clothesline and knocks Havoc onto the thumbtack chair three times. Havoc, with the barbed wire wrapped hand grabs Sami’s testicles.

Havoc rakes the face of Sami with the wire, then eats a drop toe hold onto the chair with the thumbtacks. Sami dumps them off the chair and throws it out. Sami begins to take off Havoc’s shoes and socks, picks up Havoc, goes to set him on the tacks, Havoc rolls him up for two. Right hand from Havoc, rip cord blocked, then hits a rip cord clothesline out of the corner, onto the thumbtacks for two. Havoc goes for a top rope stomp, but lands, bare feet first onto the thumbtacks. Second saintly fecal matter chant tonight. Sami then hits a piledriver onto the thumbtacks for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Sami Callihan

Sami leaves Havoc alone in the ring, who gets a major ovation from this crowd, who grabs a beer from a fan as he limps back to the locker room.

THATS ALL SHE WROTE FOLKS! THANKS FOR JOINING ME FOR MY COVERAGE TODAY, FOLLOW ME ON SOCIAL MEDIA, LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!

Twitter: @OldSkewlPantz

Instagram: turnbuckletopics


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