The Raw Women’s Champion prepares for Super Show Down by taking on the Squad Leader, Ruby Riott! Will Ronda Rousey wreck Ruby before arriving in Melbourne?
- Dean Ambrose VS Braun Strowman; Strowman wins, by disqualification.
- Roman Reigns VS Dolph Ziggler; Reigns wins.
- Ronda Rousey VS Ruby Riott w/ The Riott Squad; Rousey wins.
- Bobby Roode w/ Chad Gable VS Konnor w/ Viktor; Konnor wins.
- The B-Team VS The Revival; The B-Team wins.
- Seth Rollins VS Drew McIntyre; McIntyre wins.
- Bobby Lashley VS Kevin Owens; Owens wins.
- Bayley w/ Finn Balor VS Alicia Fox w/ Jinder Mahal & Sunil Singh; Bayley wins.
PLAY BY PLAY
Dean Ambrose heads to the ring!
The Lunatic Fringe is still loyal to The Shield, even after The Pack’s Dolph Ziggler and Drew McIntyre argued hard that Ambrose wasn’t being appreciated by his friends. Charli Caruso gets to business with her interview bringing up this disgruntled Dean theory The Pack has. Are there any truths to those claims? Any truth to what they said? Well, there are, actually. In that Ambrose is the only one not a champion. And he was champion before, but then went down with injury and was quickly replaced. But then, has Ambrose ever considered leaving the Shield? “Sure.” Maybe he already did, maybe he doesn’t need his vest and Shield tags. Maybe these don’t mean as much as they used to. Heck, he might’ve even ran Roman Reigns off the road on the way here.
Is Ambrose being sarcastic? People are asking questions. What kind of questions? “Why, after all this time, am I still in the Shield? Am I going to abandon them? Turn my back on them?” Are fans wondering when Ambrose is just goign to snap, he’s “The Lunatic” and all that. Maybe people are thinking Ambrose is waiting for the perfect time, “when nobody’s looking”, to just slip the knife into their backs. Is that what? No, people were asking questions about the moment Ambrose was literally between The Shield and The Pack, and still chose The Shield. What was going through his mind there?
What do they want him to say? Do they think he is thinking, “Why did I come back to Raw in the first place?” Ambrose could be on SmackDown or somewhere different entirely because he’s been cleaning up after The Shield. Maybe he’s sick and tired over “playing” Shield. Ambrose wants everyone to stop trying to understand him, and just judge him by his actions. He’s done as he’s always done: stepped up and stood by his brothers. The Shield isn’t a business, it’s not a brand, it’s a brotherhood. “And we will always ride into battle together.” The Lunatic finishes speaking, but out comes the Constable, Baron Corbin. “Wow, Dean, that was a really good story about brotherhood,” but it sounded more like whining to Corbin. Is something gnawing at that little brain of Ambrose’s?
Is Corbin a therapist now on top of being “the world’s largest substitute teacher”? Or is Corbin salty because he can’t put the Shield down? Corbin admits his team fell short. But The Shield wasn’t tearing the place apart and no cops were called, so that’s a win. But this is now about Ambrose and his opportunities. Ambrose has three options for his match tonight: 1) VS Rollins for the Intercontinental Championship; 2) VS Roman for the Universal Championship; or 3) 1v1 with Braun Strowman. What does Ambrose choose? Brothers, or career? If Corbin thinks he’s going to dangle shiny carrots at Ambrose, he says option 4, Ambrose VS Corbin right here and now! Corbin laughs that off, but decides for Ambrose: it’s Strowman, right now! Can Ambrose hope to survive this monstrous surprise? We’ll find out after the break!
Dean Ambrose VS Braun Strowman!
Raw returns with the bell and Ambrose circles Strowman. He dropkicks a leg and has Strowman staggering. Ambrose kicks away but Strowman headbutts him down. Strowman circles Ambrose now, then runs in with a big boot. Strowman drags Ambrsoe up to whip him hard into buckles! Ambrose falls while fans are a loud mix for The Monster Among Men. Strowman drags Ambrose back up to wrench the neck. Ambrose endures so Strowman clubs away with forearms before wrenching harder on the neck. Fans rally up for Ambrose and Ambrose powers up. Strowman knees low and clubs Ambrose down, then stalks Ambrose to a corner. Strowman chops Ambrose then runs corner to corner for the big splash!
Fans boo and jeer Strowman while Ambrose barely moves on the mat. Strowman brings Ambrose up for another neck wrench, but fans continue to rally. Ambrose endures and pulls at Strowman’s beard. Strowman clubs Ambrose again, to continue the wrench. Ambrose pries one of the hands away as fans rally up. Ambrose has a leg but Strowman clubs him and puts him in a chinlock. Strowman and Ambrose are both red, so Strowman slams Ambrose down on the mat! Ambrose sits up, but Strowman tells him “The Shield is NEVER gonna help you!” Strowman SLAPS Ambrose with that haymaker, but Ambrose just gets mad. Ambrose slaps back, but gets tossed across the way! He gets to a corner but Strowman stands on him at the ropes! Strowman backs off at 4 to keep from being disqualified.
Strowman brings Ambrose up and then lifts him way up, but Ambrose counters with a guillotine! Ambrose is bringing Strowman down with the hold, but Strowman powers him up! Ambrose sunset flips but has to chop block instead. The attack is on as Ambrose has Strowman’s leg on ropes. Ambrose gives forearms to Strowman’s face, then runs side to side, only to run into a stiff arm from Strowman! The Monster jumps for a BIG stomp while we go to break.
Raw returns and Ambrose again rallies out of the neck wrench, but Strowman puts him in a corner. Strowman puts Ambrose on the top rope, but Ambrose kicks him away. Ambrose throws clubbing crossface punches, but Strowman drags him out o his shoulder. Ambrose slips off with an eye rake, then kicks low. He wants but is denied Dirty Deeds, only to send Strowman out of the ring! Strowman clears his vision and climbs back in, but misses in the corner! Ambrose gives him a forearm smash, then runs for a dropkick! Strowman staggers, Ambrose runs, but into the clubbing forearm! Fans boo more while Strowman huffs and puffs to catch his breath. Strowman drags Ambrose up again, reels him in, but Ambrose slips out, DIRTY DEEDS! Ambrose crawls to a corner, TWO!? How did Strowman survive that?
Strowman rolls out of the ring, but Ambrose builds speed to DIVE! Ambrose rams Strowman into the barriers but Ambrose is down, too. Ambrose gets up first to refresh the count then go after Strowman again. Strowman shoves Ambrose away and runs, but is sent into steel steps! The count climbs to 7 but Ambrose refreshes it again. Ambrose follows Strowman back into the ring, but runs into the MONSTER SLAM! Both men are down, but Ambrose rolls his way to the bottom rope. Strowman drags himself up and sees Ambrose on the outside. The referee keeps him back, so Strowman goes out the other end. Strowman starts stalking his way around the corner for the BIG shoulder check! Strowman tosses Ambrose into barriers, then into the ring. He returns at 6, glaring down at Ambrose. He drags Ambrose up, for another Monster Slam!
But Strowman isn’t done there. He wants a third, but here comes The Big Dog! Roman Reigns storms his way to ringside, and Strowman is ready to fight the WWE Universal Champion. SUPERMAN PUNCH!
Winner: Braun Strowman, by disqualification
Roman leaps for a second, but gets caught. He slips out of the slam, to boot Strowman away. Then Seth Rollins flies in outta nowhere with a knee! Rollins and Roman send Strowman out with double shoulders! Strowman backs down and the rest of his Pack comes out. But Baron Corbin also returns, and won’t let The Shield get away with this. Rollins faces Drew McIntyre tonight while Roman faces Dolph Ziggler NEXT! The Pack roars, ready to wage war tonight! Will there even be a Super Show Down Six Man Tag after tonight?
Ambrose gets iced up in the trainer’s room.
Rollins comes in to check on him. Ambrose says it’s fine, but then he blows up over things. Roman came out when he felt he had to! Yeah, he sure did, didn’t he? Ambrose could be IC Champion by now. What does he mean by that?
Roman Reigns VS Dolph Ziggler!
The Big Dog saved the Lunatic from being Monster Slammed into pieces, but now he has to deal with The Show-Off. But wait, Roman wants to put the title on the line?! The belt is raised, but Corbin comes out quickly again and says he runs the show. That title can’t just be put on the line. This match is non-title, as is Rollins’ match with Drew McIntyre. But mostly, the Universal Championship isn’t on the line until Crown Jewel in Saudi Arabia. Now ring the bell.
The bell rings and Ziggler runs right at Roman! Ziggler may not win the title here but he might earn a shot for later. He grinds Roman’s face on ropes then bounces him off buckles. Ziggler gets put in a corner now and Roman gives him an uppercut! Roman grimaces as he stalks Ziggler at the ropes. He drags Ziggler up but Ziggler hotshots then dropkicks Roman down! Cover, TWO! Ziggler wraps Roman up in a sleeper hold with body scissors. Roman endures even as Ziggler grinds a forearm in. Fans duel while Roman works his way out. Ziggler shifts to a Bully Choke but Roman keeps going. Fans are thunderous as they duel, but Ziggler brings Roman right down to the mat. Ziggler drops an elbow, then covers, TWO!
Ziggler keeps on Roman by putting him in a corner and whipping. Roman reverses, but then misses and hits nothing but post! Roman is down on the outside while Ziggler gets his arms and legs moving. Ziggler fetches Roman, but Roman rocks him with a right. Ziggler kicks back, then leaps, satellite DDT to the floor! Both men are down and the count is at 7. Ziggler drags himself up and in, then goes out again. He puts Roman in, wanting to win with a pin. FAMOUSER! Cover, TWO! Roman survives while we go to break.
Raw returns again and Ziggler has the Bully Choke back on Roman. Roman powers his way up while fans duel. Roman punches his way out, then keeps throwing haymakers on Ziggler. Ziggler ducks and hops back on with the sleeper hold! Ziggler wraps on tight with the body scissors to become a backpack, and Roman fades again. Roman is gasping, and Ziggler even rakes the eyes and plugs the nose. But Roman gets a second win, and he powers his way back to buckles. Ziggler lets go, and Roman throws him all the way off. Roman catches his breath, but Ziggler runs in. Roman elbows Ziggler away, then rallies with lariats. He whips but Ziggler reverses, only for Roman to come back with the clothesline!
Fans duel again as Roman glares at Ziggler. He gives those close-range clotheslines in the corner! Roman gives all 10, then runs to boot Ziggler down! Fans continue to duel as Roman goes back to a corner. Roman looks at Ziggler as he locks and loads. He runs out, but Ziggler dodges to schoolboy! TWO, Superkick blocked! Fireman’s carry but Ziggler rakes eyes to then ZIGZAG! Cover, TWO!! Ziggler can’t believe how close he was, but he’s still not there yet. Ziggler fires himself up and tunes up the band. He aims at Roman, but Roman SUPERMAN PUNCHES! Cover, TWO! Roman is in disbelief now, but he still has something left. Fans duel again as he gets back to the corner. Roman fires up, lets out the howl, but Ziggler sunset flips up and over! TWO!! Ziggler headbutts Roman, Roman rebounds to SPEAR! Cover, Roman wins!
Winner: Roman Reigns, by pinfall
The Universal Champion rolls on towards Super Show Down, but that only evens the score between The Shield and The Pack for tonight. Will Rollins or McIntyre break the tie come later tonight?
Ronda Rousey w/ The Bella Twins VS Ruby Riott w/ The Riott Squad!
Before the Baddest Woman on the Planet teams with Nikki & Brie in Melbourne, she’ll take on Ruby directly for what The Squad did to her friend, Natalya. Will Ruby be arriving in Australia minus an arm? Or will Ruby find a way to #StartaRiott against the Rowdy Raw Women’s Champion?
Before the match, we see a selfie message from the Squad. Ronda and her friends are like the conventional beauty of a sunset or a red rose. The Squad are more like broken stained glass. But making Ronda and the Bellas break in Melbourne, that will be truly beautiful.
The bell rings and Ronda is ready. Ruby circles with the champ and is wary of those strikes. Fans are on Ronda’s side as she ties up with Ruby and powers her to ropes. Ronda reels Ruby in and throws her around with the judo throws! Ruby scurries away to regroup with The Squad. Ronda waits for Ruby, but Ruby takes her time with that 10 count. Ruby and Ronda circle again, and Ruby knees low. Ruby clubs Ronda down then gets a waistlock. Ronda turns it around and throws Ruby again, then pursues to keep Ruby from getting away. Ruby kicks Ronda then follows her out to pull her into the post and push her into barriers! Ronda grits her teeth while Ruby puts her back in the ring. Ruby covers, ONE, but Ruby keeps her cool.
Ruby drags Ronda up against the ropes and uses that braided ponytail against her. She also kicks Ronda, but Ronda hits back. Ruby clubs Ronda, then tosses her all the way out. The Bellas keep the Squad from trying anything sneaky, but Ruby comes back to fetch Ronda. Ruby bumps Ronda off the apron, then puts her in the ring. Cover, TWO, but Ruby goes after the arm. Ruby grinds her knees into Ronda while fans rally up. Ruby drops a knee, cover, TWO! Fans rally for Ronda while Ruby puts her in the ropes again. She pulls on the ponytail again, but stops at 4. Ruby fish hooks the mouth! She yanks Ronda around like that, but Ronda gets a ropebreak. Ruby lets go to rock Ronda with a right forearm! Cover, TWO!
Ronda gets to ropes but Ruby is right on her, choking her against the middle rope. Ruby backs off but the ref has to back the Squad off again. Sarah and Liv play innocent, but Ronda throws hands on Ruby. Ruby throws Ronda down by her hair, covers, TWO! Ruby keeps her cool while fans rally up for Ronda. She kicks Ronda while she’s down, then drags her up. Ruby headbutts Ronda, then throws her down with the STO! Cover, TWO! Now frustration boils up as Ruby shouts at the Bellas to shut up. Ruby scrapes her foot on Ronda’s face but fans rally for Ronda. Ruby wrenches, but Ronda grabs her for a back suplex toss!
Ronda hulks up and fires off! She gives swift uppercuts and a gut wrench lift into a slam! Then she kicks Sarah away for getting too close. Ruby rolls Ronda with a handful of tights!! TWO!! Ronda grabs Ruby again, for the ROWDY SLAM! But there’s no cover, time for the armbar! Ruby taps, Ronda wins!
Winner: Ronda Rousey, by submission
The Women’s Champion conquers Ruby here, and celebrates with Brie & Nikki in the ring. Will these three celebrate again in Melbourne? Or will all three Squad members be too crafty to conquer down under?
Bobby Roode w/ Chad Gable VS Konnor w/ Viktor!
The GLORIOUS One vows to get even with The Ascension on his #ReadyWillingAndGable partner’s behalf. Before the match, we hear Roode speak. He’s faced men as big as Konnor. And winning is difficult, but when it happens, it is… GLORIOUS! Konnor has a response, saying that Roode may be experienced, but he’ll fall just like his “student”. Gable better cover his eyes so he won’t see what Konnor does to his hero. Can Roode avoid being left in the Wasteland? Or will it be Konnor who becomes absolutely… GLORIOUS!?
The bell rings and Roode kicks away at Konnor’s leg. He goes after the leg but Konnor puts him in a corner. Roode dodges to chop and kick and chop again. Roode dropkicks the leg out, then goes for the DDT! Konnor powers his way to a corner and gets free of Roode. He runs but into Roode’s boots. Roode jumps up and over but runs into Konnor’s massive body attack! Konnor stalks Roode to a corner, then chokes him against the bottom rope. He stomps a mudhole into Roode, then backs off at 4. Roode is gasping but Konnor is back on him with more stomps. Konnor drags Roode out to then run and drop a big elbow on him. Cover, TWO! Konnor looms over Roode to then go after his face with raking fingers! The referee gets him to stop, then Konnor covers, TWO.
Konnor puts Roode in a chinlock to squeeze out the air. Gable coaches Roode up while fans build to a rally. Roode feeds off the energy and fights back with elbows. Konnor clubs Roode down, then gets feeling in his leg. Konnor runs but misses the elbow this time. Roode gets to a corner while Viktor coaches Konnor up. Roode dodges Konnor to drop toehold him into buckles! Konnor shakes the cobwebs out but Roode climbs up top. Roode leaps for a big lariat! Roode fires up with fans, and continues to kick the leg. He adds chops, then whips. Konnor reverses but Roode hits a forearm smash! Roode runs in for a corner clothesline, then whips. Konnor reverses but Roode boots him away. Roode hops up, GLORIOUS Blockbuster!
But Roode isn’t done there, as he winds it up… but Viktor clobbers Gable just because! Roode clobbers Viktor, but Konnor gets Roode! Konnor drags Roode up, gut wrench to Canadian backbreaker slam! Cover, Konnor wins!!
Winer: Konnor, by pinfall
The Ascension’s giant is on a winning streak!? How is this possible?! Will Roode & Gable fizzle out as a duo already?
Raw Presents: A Moment of Bliss.
The Goddess, Alexa Bliss, explains that everyone has a hero. Wonder Woman, Nelson Mandela, and Alexa. But even heroes have heroes. Alexa’s hero was Trish Stratus, who she faces at the first ever WWE Evolution PPV. However, there’s something else Alexa can’t believe it. She first met Trish when she was just seven years old, “shivering in the freezing cold” with her autograph book. Then there she was. Alexa gazed up at Trish’s wrinkled eyes and introducing herself. She asked for an autograph, but she’ll never forget what happened next. Trish burped and asked for $50 in return. Alexa said she was only seven, and her book was her most cherished possession. Trish ripped up the book, stepped on Alexa’s foot, and made her cry the entire night. When it comes to meeting your heroes, Stratusfaction is NOT Guaranteed.
The B-Team VS The Revival!
Bo Dallas & Curt Axel return! They may not be Raw Tag Team Champions anymore, but there’s always the climb back! Meanwhile, Dash & Dawson want another shot of their own after coming so close against McIntyre & Ziggler. Which team will #SayYeah to another chance at the titles?
Raw returns as Dash has Axel in a headlock. Axel powers out but Dawson tags in to bulldog Axel down. Cover, ONE, but Dawson keeps on Axel with elbow drops to the arm. Dawson drops a leg, too, then puts the arm in a keylock. Bo keeps the fans rallying while Axel endures. Axel stands up and pushes his way to his corner, but Dawson brings him back down. Dawson keeps the keylock on, but Axel endures. Fans continue to echo the chant while Dawson tags Dash. Axel arm-drags Dawson but Dash is right on him! Dash has a mounted armlock, and pulls back as hard as he can. Bo keeps the fans chanting, and Axel feeds off that energy. Axel throws forearms and haymakers, but Dash drop toeholds and knees Axel’s arm. Dash puts the keylock back on and Axel is back down on the mat.
Fans continue to chant “B Team! B Team! Go go go!” Axel stands up and spins around with Dash. Axel then throws Dash into buckles! Dash tags Dawson, Axel tags Bo! BO rallies on The Revival, then hits a body shot and boot! Bo runs him over with a back elbow, then runs Dash off. Dawson tries but fails to roll up, so he gives Bo a spinebuster! Cover, TWO! Tag to Dash and The Revival work together, Rocket Launcher Splash into knees! Axel takes out Dawson while BO rolls Dash up, B-Team wins!
Winners: The B-Team, Bo pinning
And they’re back on track! Bo and Axel can celebrate the Ax Man’s birthday with a win, but will they get back to the titles any time soon?
Not with the Authors of Pain attacking them from behind! They put Bo into the apron, then put both men in the ring. Drake Maverick coaches his monsters onward, and they give The B-Team a SUPER COLLIDER! Happy Birthday to Axel. Maybe they’ll have cake and candles in the trainer’s room…
Ambrose continues to recover backstage.
This time, Roman Reigns comes over to talk to him. Roman wants to know where Ambrose’s head is at, among other things. Is he alright? Ambrose finally looks at Roman and says it’s fine. They’re all good, really. Ambrose had Strowman but he could’ve gotten hurt, too. If Ambrose wasn’t such a nice guy, he might be even Universal Champion right now. Okay, now Ambrose is making implications. Will The Shield even be on the same page com Super Show Down?
Baron Corbin is impressed by the Authors of Pain.
It feels great running people over, huh? He enjoys their work, hopefully they enjoy their work. “Keep getting it done.” Maverick is also impressed and proud, will they make a serious run at the titles in the near future?
WWE and Raw again join the fight against Breast Cancer this October.
With a number as high as every one in eight women, we cannot sit idly by and let cancer do what it wants. Do what you can to help in this fight.
In the ring, WWE and Raw are honored to welcome these true champions in the fight against breast cancer. First, there is Dana Warrior, then Dr. Candice Grezlak, fundraiser Patty Bulger, and survivor Jennifer Teeler. Join the fight, save lives.
The Pack is restless backstage.
Strowman won, but by disqualification. Ziggler lost fair and square with no excuses. But Ziggler still feels it. Ambrose’s eyes are telling a different story. The Shield might be on their last legs. Strowman feels Ambrose is a great fit for the Pack. He may have gotten destroyed in that match, but Ambrose proved he’s “a tough bastard.” Ambrose is still a winner. McIntyre needs to be a winner against Rollins tonight. And there’s no room for a weak link, Dolph. McIntyre doesn’t say anything as he leaves with Strowman. Is there going to be a change in the pecking order come Super Show Down?
Seth Rollins VS Drew McIntyre!
The Architect is ready to #BurnItDown again in Seattle, but the Scottish Terminator is ready to snuff out the flames. Will Rollins or McIntyre break the tie between Shield and Pack in singles competition before we get the full Six Man Tag Team war in Melbourne?
The bell rings and Rollins circles with McIntyre. They tie up and McIntyre puts Rollins in a corner. McIntyre grinds a forearm in Rollins’ face while egging him on. Rollins comes out and ties up with McIntyre again. McIntyre puts Rollins back in a corner, then SLAPS Rollins across the face. Rollins puts McIntyre in the corner to unload furious hands. The ref backs Rollins off but Rollins wants to keep going. Rollins whips but McIntyre reverses. Rollins goes up and over then runs to dropkick McIntyre back. He clotheslines McIntyre out to then build speed and DIVE! Direct hit! McIntyre hits barriers and fans fire up for Rollins. Rollins bounces McIntyre off the apron and barriers before putting him in the ring. He aims and springboards but McIntyre gets under. McIntyre’s boot misses, but Rollins chops away.
Rollins whips but McIntyre reverses again. Rollins goes up again but McIntyre kicks him out of the air! Cover, TWO! McIntyre stalks Rollins to the rope to stomp him back in. McIntyre brings Rollins up for a mounted armlock. Fans rally for Rollins while he endures. Rollins powers his way up and out, only to be thrown down by his hair. McIntyre puts the armlock back on, and adds a chinbar. Fans rally up again and Rollins powers his way back up. McIntyre knees low then lifts Rollins, but Rollins slips out. Rollins baits McIntyre and sends him out, but McIntyre shoulders back in. McIntyre brings Rollins out to the apron, but Rollins prepares a powerbomb. McIntyre resist and pushes Rollins into the post! Rollins falls to the floor, and McIntyre prepares the steel steps.
McIntyre drags Rollins up the steps, lifts him, and drops him on the apron with a sidewalk slam! The Scottish Psycho has control while we go to break.
Raw returns and both men are down. Rollins crawls to a corner while McIntyre crawls away. Both men slowly stand while fans fire up. McIntyre swings but Rollins blocks and counters with haymakers and chops. Rollins whips but McIntyre reverses. Rollins dodges and slingblades! McIntyre runs into a boot, Rollins hops up for a blockbuster! Cover, TWO! Rollins grits his teeth while he gets back up. He runs but is put on the apron. He swing kicks McIntyre away, then springboards for a clothesline to the back of the head! Cover, TWO! Both men are down again but fans rally Rollins up. Corbin watches backstage as Rollins drags McIntyre up.
Rollins wants a bomb but McIntyre back drops him over. McIntyre blocks the boot to reel Rollins into the inverted position, but Rollins rolls through to roll McIntyre up! TWO, and McIntyre avoids the stomp! He chops Rollins back, then reels him in. Rollins slips through to Falcon Arrow! Cover, TWO! Both men are down again, but stirring. Rollins grits his teeth as he aims at McIntyre. McIntyre slowly moves, so Rollins goes to a corner. Rollins climbs, but McIntyre intercepts! McIntyre chops Rollins on the top rope, then climbs up to join him. McIntyre wants something crazy, but Rollins manages to sunset flip through, for a BUCKLE BOMB! Then a SUPERKICK! McIntyre is down while fans chant “Burn It Down!” But here comes Ziggler! Ziggler slides in but then slides out, this distracts Rollins enough for McIntyre to stand and CLAYMORE! Cover, McIntyre wins!
Winner: Drew McIntyre, by pinfall
The Show-Off has the assist, then he goes right after Rollins with stomps. McIntyre joins in, but here comes Roman! The Big Dog defends Rollins like he did Ambrose, but that’s 2v1! And now it’s 3v1 as Strowman appears! McIntyre clobbers Roman, and Ziggler adds on. Strowman arrives at ringside just as Rollins starts to stir. Here comes Ambrose!! The Lunatic has an ax handle and he uses it! He smacks Strowman while Roman takes a Zigzag, but then Ambrose runs the rest of The Pack off, too! Only to run into Strowman’s giant shoulder! Strowman puts Ambrose in the ring, and the Pack returns. Rollins hops on Strwoman, but Strowman scoops. Rollins slips out, but gets a SUPERKICK! Ambrose gets Ziggler but he gets mauled 3v1! Then, CLAYMORE ZIGZAG! The Pack won’t let up, they bring Roman up for a MONSTER SLAM!
The Monster, the Terminator and the Show-Off stand over the Big Dog, the Architect and the Lunatic here in Seattle, and copy the Shield fist bump! Will we see this all over again in Melbourne after the Super Show Down Six Man Tag?
Kevin Owens meets with Elias backstage.
Is this the stuff Elias’ stuff that he needs so he can perform? That’s right. His triangle of water bottles, his mints, his spinach, and… Wait, cashews? Elias doesn’t like cashews, he asked for almonds. Elias throws the nuts in the face of the staffer. Kevin fuels up before his match with Bobby Lashley, and that’s next!
Ladies and Gentlemen: Elias, and Kevin Owens.
The Drifter and the Prizefighter are in Seattle to a very mixed reaction. Elias plays his guitar and Kevin gets into the music. Kevin felt that in his bones. Allow Elias’ soul to shoot through you as you consider the question, “Who Wants to Walk With Elias?!” Kevin raises his hand. It’s almost time. The only man who truly walks with Elias is his kindred spirit, Kevin Owens. Kevin thanks Elias, and will gladly walk with Elias, especially in Melbourne to take on Bobby Lashley and John Cena. This duo makes sense, because they’re very similar. They’re both great guys! But what doesn’t make sense: Lashley & Cena. Elias agrees. It’s like a basketball team in Seattle. Fans definitely boo that. It sounds like Elias struck a nerve.
Eilas and Kevin wait for the fans to stop, which is quite a long time. But sports aren’t really Kevin’s thing. Kevin, speak up, the fans are being rude. Well what else isn’t Kevin’s thing: Cena. Cena has really been living up to his catchphrase: You Can’t See Me. Because we haven’t! He hasn’t been here. Elias needs his mic turned up so he can be heard. Yes, Cena, that was Wrestlemania time when Cena ruined his moment. Cena ruins things, just like Seattle does. It’s why their team left! But Cena won’t ruin Super Show Down for Kevin & Elias. Because Kevin & Elias are great guys and they’re smart guys. They’ve figured something out. They know why Cena gets to team with Lashley. Elias demands the lights stay down low, we don’t need to see these people right now.
But back onto Cena, he has had many great matches, he’s #BigMatchJohn. Kevin wants them to face it, Cena always has big matches now. Every chance Cena shows up is special. Because Cena’s ego is as big as Seattle’s ego, and Cena won’t allow himself to perform unless it’s a certain stage. Cena needs to be in the ring with big men, just like Elias needs Seattle to shut up! Cena stays relevant with big matches, such as against Elias. He needs to feel like the best, but you have to beat the best. When it comes to Raw, Elias & Kevin are the absolute best! That’s why Lashley & Cena have NO CHANCE in Australia! Elias is so talented, people can’t get enough of him. And on Saturday, Kevin would love to give an encore performance when he powerbombs Cena on an apron one more time.
But finally, someone else comes out! The Manager of the Hour, Lio Rush, leads the way. He sees Kevin and Elias, and scolds them, “tsk tsk tsk.” Cena is electric, even Lio knows that. Lio tells Elias & Kevin that they’re justified in recognizing just how important this Saturday will be. The greatest of all time will be there! Lio wants Kevin to know now, though, that he better not overlook this man tonight. Kevin’s as foolish as Lio has made him look lately. So stop the chit chat and yip yap and prepare for the Rocky Mountain Machine, who is ready to battle right here in Seattle! Give it up for Bobby Lashley!
Bobby Lashley VS Kevin Owens!
While he joins none other than JOHN CENA at Super Show Down, the Dominator looks to get his on the Prizefighter days before then. However, Kevin still has a blank check from Baron Corbin to use on any of his opponents, will he be cashing that in here tonight?
Raw returns and the two circle. They tie up and Lashley throws Kevin down. Kevin slides out to regroup with Elias. He comes back and circles with Lashley again. Kevin gets the waistlock but Lashley the standing switch and then slam. Lashley goes back in for another waistlock slam! Lashley wants another waistlock but Kevin gets the ropes. Kevin then sucker kicks and puts on the headlock. He gets the takedown, but Lashley rolls. Kevin rolls it back quickly, then keeps on the grind. Lashley stands up and powers out, but Kevin runs him over with a shoulder. Kevin runs but Lashley runs him over in return. Kevin bails out to again regroup with Elias. Elias wants Lashley to stay back, but Lashley comes out. Kevin goes back in the ring but then runs into Lashley’s swinging neckbreaker. Kevin scurries to a corner but Lashley is on him.
Lashley bumps Kevin off buckles then throws haymakers and stomps. Lashley bumps Kevin off more buckles and Lio lies what he sees from his client. Another buckle bump for Kevin and fans want more. Lashley goes for the full four but Kevin works to turn it around. However, Lashley blocks that and bumps Kevin off for the set! Lashley throws forearms but Kevn throws forearms back. They brawl at the ropes, but the ref backs Lashley off. Lashley comes back and whips but Kevin kicks him away. Kevin runs but into the powerslam! Lashley brings Kevin up in the fireman’s carry but Kevin fights out. Kevin dodges Lashley and sends him into the post. Kevin drags Lashley out to put him into another post! The Prizefighter trash talks Lio and Seattle while we go to break.
Raw returns and Elias taunts Lashley while he’s down on the outside. Kevin refreshes the count to throw Lashley’s arm into barriers and then into the steel steps. He puts Lashley in the ring, then drops a back senton. Cover, TWO, and Lio coaches up Lashley again. Kevin puts Lashley’s bad arm in a keylock but fans rally up. Lashley feeds off the energy and stands back up, only for Kevin to bring him back down. Kevin taunts Lio while Lio coaches Lashley. Lashley sits up even as Kevin puts his weight on him. Fans continue to rally and Lashley powers his way all the way up to his feet. Lashley fights back with haymakers, but Kevin hits back with his own. Kevin runs but Lashley shows off his agility to then clothesline Kevin down!
Lashley rallies with a kick, a clubbing and a clothesline! Lashley runs into the corner but gets a boot. Kevin runs but into the complete shot! Lashley runs in for the big corner clothesline, then corner to corner for the shoulder tackle! Lashley brings Kevin out and fans fire up for the suplex. But that bad arm can’t do it. Kevin kicks the arm, but then runs into the spinebuster! Elias goes after Lio! Lio avoids him, slips around and then away but still gets caught into a full nelson! Elias thrashes Lio, Lashley gets distracted, Kevin rolls him up! Kevin wins!!
Winner: Kevin Owens, by pinfall
But Lashley goes after Elias! And after Kevin! But that’s 2v1, so Elias & Kevin get the better of him. Seattle boos as Elias & Kevin stomp away. John Cena is nowhere to be seen, but Lio is still here! Lio leaps in, but into double ax handles! Kevin and Elias laugh at little Lio, but they’re not done with Lashley. Elias feeds Lashley to the Pop-Up Powerbomb! The Drifter & The Prizefighter hug it out, but will it be so easy when the 16-time world champion returns?
Bayley w/ Finn Balor VS Alicia Fox w/ Jinder Mahal & Sunil Singh!
While everyone else prepares for Super Show Down, Team B’n’B prepares for tomorrow night’s Mixed Match Challenge! The Extraordinary Man got a win over the Modern Day Maharaja last week, can the Huggable One get a win over the crazy Fox this week? Or will “Captain” Alicia turn things around and be the catalyst for a win in the MMC?
The bell rings and Alicia puts Bayley in the corner. Alicia backs off to Shanti, but Bayley turns around to throw hands on Alicia! Alicia pushes Bayley away then hotshots Bayley. She then gives Bayley a running facebuster, covers, TWO! She keeps on Bayley with a chinlock, but Finn coaches Bayley up. Bayley endures and powers her way up, but Alicia shifts to a Nothern Lights! Bayley resists and elbows her way out, then gets to a corner. Alicia walks over and yanks Bayley up, but Bayley rocks her with an elbow. Bayley hops up for a flying forearm, then covers, TWO! Alicia boots Bayley right down! Alicia gets the Northern Lights, with the bridge, TWO! Crazy Foxy breathes and says “Shanti” before putting Bayley back in the chinlock.
Alicia thrashes Bayley around while Finn rallies fans. Bayley feeds off the energy and stands up, but Alicia clubs her again. Alicia whips Bayley hard into buckles, then again. She runs in but Bayley flapjacks her onto buckles! Bayley drags her way to the other corner as fans fire up. Bayley boots Alicia away to then hit a lariat! The Huggable One rallies now as she puts Alicia on the apron for the hotshot! Alicia gets to a corner and Bayley runs in. Alicia goes up and over to sunset flip, but Bayley rolls through to dropkick Alicia! Just ilke Finn! Finn approves and Bayley gives a Too Sweet. Jinder swipes as Bayley runs, so Bayley wrecks him with a dropkick. Finn adds the Slingblade! Bayley blocks Alicia’s boot to hit Bayley2Belly! Cover, Bayley wins!
Winner: Bayley, by pinfall
One half of B’n’B wins tonight, can they get the complete sweep with an MMC victory? Or will #Mahalicia be able to Shanti and shut Bayley & Balor down?
Shawn Michaels is here!
The Heartbreak Kid returns to give one last message to everyone before Super Show Down. He knows HHH and The Undertaker will face off #OneLastTime, and he couldn’t just stay at home. He wanted to be in Melbourne in the front row as a simple fan. But then The Undertaker made things personal between them. Taker asked HBK who he stood with for this fight, and while HBK had all the respect in the world for the Dead Man, he picked his best friend in HHH! And then for some reason or another, that upset Taker. “But guess what?” Taker made it personal, so now it is. Taker will have Kane, but HBK will be the “brother” to HHH. Kane needs to understand this: if you or anyone tries to rush the ring, then with God as HBK’s witness, he’ll give some Sweet Chin Music to the Devil’s Favorite Demon!
But speaking off, here comes KANE!! But not from the ramp, he’s right behind HBK! HBK realizes it too late and gets the uppercut! And here comes Taker!! Taker appears in the ring! The Brothers of Destruction loom over HBK and Seattle is losing its mind. Taker stands over HBK as he slowly sits up. Taker slashes the throat, and then lifts HBK up, but here comes HHH! The COO strips off the suit and The Game throws hands with Taker! Kane is lurking, and he pulls HHH off. HHH throws hands, but Kane grabs him, HBK hits Kane, but he gets caught. The Brothers double Choke Slam DX!! Fans are losing their minds, but things aren’t done yet. HHH flops to the ropes, and Taker brings him up, for a TOMBSTONE! The Dead Man still has it, is this a sign of what’s to come at Super Show Down?
What a great surprise: Raw made a really fun go-home episode! Now obviously the story of The Shield VS The Pack dominated the night, but they actually did some good things with it. I liked that Ambrose was being cryptic about how he felt having The Shield back. They’re learning how to toy with us: we expect Ambrose to turn but they know we know that so they’re hinting it while still keeping Ambrose just loyal enough to the team. Each match we got from The Shield VS The Pack in 1v1 action was great, especially Rollins VS McIntyre. If Raw was just those two hours, as focused on one story as it was, it would’ve actually had a solid finish for the night. But if The Pack stands tall tonight, that has to mean The Shield stands tall at Super Show Down.
The only confusing thing from The Shield VS Pack story tonight was Corbin being upset that Roman wanted to defend his title. That’s points for Roman for truly being a fighting champ, wanting to make every match a title match. Obviously Corbin would want to keep the title on Roman just so Lesnar and Strowman go after the guy the Authority wants to destroy in kayfabe, but why didn’t he say Rollins VS McIntyre was a title match? Since McIntyre won, he’d be a dual champion now. Unless this feeds into something Corbin is planning with AoP & Maverick.
Speaking of, The Authors of Pain blindsiding The B-Team was pretty great for Akam & Rezar. They clearly have Corbin’s approval, so I wonder if Corbin would back them against even The Pack’s McIntyre & Ziggler past Super Show Down. It’s also good to see Drake Maverick is no longer cosplaying as the third Author, he just never looked right in the same gear. A manager should dress as a manager, not a fan, so it’s good that he was in a jacket and jeans. Lio Rush was also in style, so clearly the Manager of the Hour gets it. Of course, Lio and Lashley didn’t so well this time around, Kevin & Elias really got the better of them tonight. Kevin & Elias really got the better of Seattle, too, those Seattle Sonics fans were pissed.
Rousey VS Riott was pretty good, Ruby was booked a bit stronger than I expected. Of course, I suppose Ronda would get boring pretty quickly if she just completely wrecked everyone every time. Ronda needs to be challenged in terms of match difficulty if we’re to stay behind her as champion, or else she really will run the risk of being a Brock Lesnar or Roman Reigns type. Ronda finds the way to win, but anything can happen to help The Squad win at Super Show Down. Of course, it’s already well known that Nikki Bella faces Ronda at WWE Evolution, so maybe something happens between Nikki and Ronda during their match to cause the team to fall apart?
Hooray for Konnor racking up wins at the expense of Roode & Gable. That story of GLORIOUSLY awkward teaming is still odd and probably doomed to bring a break-up, but at least Konnor’s getting something. Hooray for Bayley winning to put B’n’B up over Mahalicia, and also for being the brand integration for Mixed Match Challenge. Hopefully there’s none of this 50-50 booking, I don’t see why the fan favorite team now has to lose their MMC debut just to keep Mahalicia from going 0-2 already. Then for the close, HBK obviously wants to put HHH over before SSD, but it was great to see BOTH Brothers of Destruction appear as a nice surprise, and then those two stand tall for old time’s sake. They should just make #OneLastTime a tag team match and get this HBK return started now.
My Score: 8.5/10
Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (1/24/22)
Time to weigh in before the Rumble!
Raw prepares for the Royal Rumble!
Before fighting for the WWE World Championship, Bobby Lashley and BRRROCK LESNARRR step on the scales to make this one heavy Monday Night Raw!
- Bianca Belair VS Queen Zelina Vega; Belair wins.
- WWE United States Championship: Damian Priest VS Kevin Owens; Kevin wins by disqualification, and Priest retains the title.
- Six Woman Tag: Rhea Ripley, Dana Brooke & Liv Morgan VS Tamina, Carmella & Nikki A.S.H; Ripley, Brooke & Morgan win.
- The Alpha Academy Academic Challenge Round 1, Spelling Bee: The Alpha Academy VS RKBRO; RKBRO wins and gets to choose next week’s challenge.
- Randy Orton w/ Matt Riddle VS Chad Gable w/ Otis; Orton wins.
- AJ Styles VS Austin Theory; Styles wins.
- The Mysterios VS The Street Profits; The Mysterios win.
PLAY BY PLAY
Corey Graves is in the ring with Adam Pearce.
Pearce welcomes the fans to the official WWE World Championship weigh-in for the Royal Rumble. “Without further ado, please welcome the challenger, Bobby Lashley!” The Rocky Mountain Machine makes his way out, MVP right behind him, and some pyro added to his pose, and some more pyro in the ring. And of course, the WWE Champion, Br- “Ladies and gentlemen.” Paul Heyman walks out on stage to give his introduction, and says he’s so tired of everyone trying to steal his shtick, especially when no one does it as good as he does.
So about to walk down the aisle and step onto the scale, your REIGNING! DEFENDING! UNDISPUTED! WWE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD~! BRRROCK! LESNARRR!! Lesnar makes his entrance, wearing a cowboy hat and jeans, and he goes to the ring to join Lashley. But given the attire and the smirk on his face, it’s hard to say he’s taking this serious. Graves points it out, and Lesnar asks if Graves would like Lesnar to get naked. How about just carrying on with this then? Graves says Lashley is the challenger, so he will go first. Lashley throws off his jacket, steps over, and stands on the scale.
The ref checks, and Lashley weighs in at 273 pounds. MVP says, “See that? 273 pounds of All Mighty killing machine! 273 pounds of specimen like no other. Closer to a god than a man. 273 pounds of bottled lightning that Brock Lesnar will have to contend with at the Royal Rumble.” The match so many had written off as impossible is happening. But Lashley knew it was inevitable. 273 pounds, and then after the Rumble, Lashley will gain some weight. The exact amount as that WWE Championship weighs. Lesnar and Heyman laugh that off, and Graves says it is Lesnar’s turn. Lesnar takes off his hat and lets Heyman hold that while he steps on the scale.
The ref checks, and Lesnar weighs in at 286 pounds. Lashley is upset, though. Lesnar thinks this is funny, huh? He’s acting like a fool because he knows Lashley will beat him for the title this Saturday. “Mark my words: this will be the shortest title run of your entire career. And that’s not a prediction. That’s a spoiler.” Lesnar laughs and says, “Well who’s the comedian now? Paul, get this. On Sunday morning, hot off the press, Bobby Lashley beats Brock Lesnar in the Hurt Lock. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a new champion! The new reigning, defending, WWE Heavyweight Champion of the world~! Bobby Who?”
Lesnar laughs, takes his leave with Heyman, but it’s only a matter of time. Will Lashley have the last laugh when he’s the one leaving St. Louis with the title?
Bianca Belair VS Queen Zelina Vega!
The EST is dressed in gold, because she’s ready to go for gold in the Women’s Rumble! Will the Queen of the Ring merely be a stepping stone on Bianca repeating history?
Raw returns and Vega makes her entrance. The bell rings and they tie up. Bianca scoops and puts Vega on the apron. Bianca then blows a kiss, ducks the haymaker, drags Vega back into the ring and swings her around in the waistlock before a SLAM! Fans rally for the “EST! EST!” and Bianca avoids Vega stomping her foot! Bianca ripcords and whips but Vega reverses, only for Bianca to go up and over. Bianca handsprings, eggs Vega on, then dropkicks her down! Bianca kips up, drags Vega up, and suplexes! Bianca holds Vega up but Vega STUN-DOG MILLIONAIRES! Vega stomps away on Bianca in a corner and digs her boot in!
The ref counts, Vega lets off at 4 to then JUMP KICK! Vega keeps moving, and she KNEES Bianca down! Vega soaks up the heat, takes a bow, and then drags Bianca up. Bianca shoves Vega away, runs in but is sent into buckles! Vega then goes up, but Bianca ROCKS her first! Bianca scowls, trophy lifts Vega off the corner, but Vega fights free to a SLEEPER! Bianca RAMS Vega into buckles but Vega just throws elbows! Vega brings Bianca down to her knees, squeezes tight on the sleeper, but fans rally up. Bianca fights up, RAMS Vega into more buckles and then throws Vega off! Bianca scoops but Vega headscissors, but Bianca handsprings through!
Bianca rallies on Vega, dropkick and kip up! Fans fire up as Bianca brings Vega in for a suplex! Roll through, another suplex, and she even jogs in place before the SLAM! Bianca runs, handsprings, and MOONSAULTS onto knees! Vega grits her teeth, hops on, CODE- NO! No red, Bianca pops Vega off to a torture rack! KISS OF DEATH! Cover, Bianca wins!
Winner: Bianca Belair, by pinfall
Well, she just beat a queen, so this was the royalEST win Bianca’s gotten yet! Will she go back-to-back at the Rumble and return to WrESTleMania?
Backstage interview with Kevin Owens.
Kevin Patrick tries to talk with him before his US Championship match but Kevin Owens refuses to talk. K-Peezy points out KO was the first person to give Damian Priest a pinfall loss here on Raw, and KO agrees with that. But he faked an injury. What? What did K-Peezy say? Faking an injury? Is he accusing KO of lying? Has K-Peezy been in the ring? No, he hasn’t, so his opinion is moot. KO says he fought through pain! Just reed his shirt! “Just Keep Fighting.” Now tonight, KO gets his US title match, and guess what he’ll do tonight? Read the third! Just Keep Fighting. That’s right! And he’ll do that until he is the new United States Champion.
WWE United States Championship: Damian Priest VS Kevin Owens!
The Archer of Infamy knows the Prizefighter is two-faced, but now he knows what to expect after being duped into a defeat. Will Priest keep the gold away from KO? Or will Damian make it hard for him to hold back?
Raw returns and Kevin makes his entrance. The introductions are made, the title is raised, and we see who goes into the Rumble with gold already around their waist!
Kevin kicks, Priest pushes him away and fires off in the corner! Kevin dodges to CHOP and CHOP and forearm in return! The ref counts, Kevin lets off but Priest turns things around to fire off fast hands! Priest CHOPS, whips corner to corner, but Kevin reverses. Kevin runs in but blocks the knee to throw the leg down. Priest ROCKS Kevin with an uppercut, then throws more forearms! Priest runs, but Kevin drops to come back and CLOBBER Priest with an elbow! SENTON! Cover, TWO! Kevin argues the count but he goes after Priest in the corner. Kevin stomps, the ref counts and Kevin backs off. Kevin then runs in, but into a choke grip!
Kevin slips out of the choke slam to CHOP and forearm, but he runs into a BOOT! Kevin bails out, Priest builds speed, and Priest goes up the ropes. Kevin gets away, Priest hops down and goes out after Kevin. Priest blocks the superkick and throws Kevin into barriers! Priest puts Kevin back in, but Kevin SUPERKICKS him off the apron! Kevin hurries to the apron, SWANTON onto the knees! Priest was ready this week! APRON CHOKE SLAM! Priest is fired up and so are the fans as Raw goes to break!
Raw returns and Priest fires off kick after kick then a ROLLING ELBOW! Kevin goes to a corner, Priest hits a back elbow! But Kevin fights off the suplex, only to get a BELL CLAP! And a HEADLOCK DRIVER! Cover, TWO! Priest drags Kevin up, puts him in a corner and hoists him up top. Priest ROCKS Kevin with a right, climbs up, but Kevin hits back! Kevin adjusts and headbutts away on Priest! Then TORNADO DDT! Priest is in a drop zone, Kevin goes up top! FROG SPLASH! Cover, TWO!! Priest survives and Kevin can’t believe it! Kevin argues with the ref but the ref defends it was two. Kevin waits on Priest to get up, SUPERKICK!
Kevin gets Priest back up, whips but Priest holds ropes. Priest BOOTS back, ducks and dodges, to FLAPJACK Kevin down! Then a HEEL KICK! Cover, TWO!! Kevin survives almost being beheaded but Priest keeps his cool. Kevin claims he’s got a bad arm, but Priest doesn’t trust that! Priest stomps away on Kevin at the ropes, but lets off as the ref counts 4. Kevin still says he has a bad arm but Priest KICKS him out to the apron. Priest rushes over, Kevin HOTSHOTS him! Kevin give sup faking and rolls Priest up, with tights, TWO!! STUN- NO! Priest powers out to LARIAT! Priest is fuming, is Damian coming?
Priest KICKS Kevin into a corner, stomps away, fires down hands, but the ref backs him up. Priest still comes back for more, the ref has to push him away again. Priest BOOTS Kevin, fires off more elbows, but the ref calls for the bell!
Winner: Kevin Owens, by disqualification (Priest retains the WWE US Championship)
Damian got the better off Priest, but he still has the belt. Kevin may have gotten the win, but will he think again before pushing Priest’s buttons?
Royal Rumble entrees speak.
Rhea Ripley says, “I have a score to settle with Nikki A.S.H. But the one thing that’s consuming my mind right now is the Royal Rumble. This Saturday, it’s every woman for herself, so I’m going to win at any cost. It’s gonna be an absolute nightmare for the 29 other women when I win the Royal Rumble and move on to WrestleMania.”
Dana Brooke says, “Call me crazy, but this year is gonna be my year! As reigning 24/7 Champion, I’m ready any time, at any place. And this Saturday, I’m gonna continue riding that wave, and winning the Royal Rumble.”
Liv Morgan says we’ve all seen her from being happy to be here to the girl that took the Raw Women’s Champion to her limit. We saw her nearly become champion. But at the Royal Rumble, there won’t be “nearly.” She’ll win to become the NEW Raw Women’s Champion.
Sonya Deville finds Damian Priest backstage.
He was outta control! When the ref says to do something, he should listen. Or else he’ll get fined, suspended, or worse. So get it under control! Will Priest find a way to contain the rage inside?
Six Woman Tag: Rhea Ripley, Dana Brooke & Liv Morgan VS Tamina, Carmella & Nikki A.S.H!
We just heard from one team about the Women’s Rumble, but can they back it all up with actions? Or will they almost have momentum after facing the Daughter of Superfly, the Most Beautiful Woman in the WWE, and the Almost SuperHero?
Raw returns as Dana makes her entrance, followed by Liv. Then Mella makes her entrance, followed by Tamina, and lastly, Nikki. The teams sort out, Mella gets her protective mask while Dana starts with Tamina. They tie up, Dana wrenches to a wristlock, Tamina shoves her away then runs her over! Tamina soaks up the heat, taunts Liv and Rhea, then stomps Dana. Tamina rains down forearms, wraps on a chinlock and she thrashes Dana before clamping on a neck wrench. Fans rally and Dana fights up, Dana throws elbows. Tamina CLUBS Dana, back suplexes, but Dana lands on her feet to tag Rhea! Rhea dropkicks Tamina, then swipes at Nikki!
Rhea DECKS Mella, wrenches Tamina and hits her with short arm clothesline after short arm clothesline! Then a ripcord HEADBUTT, and a sweep to the legs! Rhea runs to basement dropkick! Fans fire up with Rhea, she brings Tamina up but Tamina shoves her away. Rhea comes back to sobat, then she NORTHERN LIGHTS! Bridging cover, TWO! Mella gets in and FABULOUS KICKS Rhea! Liv ENZIGURIS Mella! Nikki kicks Liv for a TWIST ‘N’ SHOUT! Dana SHOTGUNS Nikki, Tamina CLOBBERS Dana! Mella tags in, she pie faces Rhea, and that just pisses Rhea off! Rhea trips Mella, ties up the legs, PRISM TRAP!! Mella taps, Rhea’s team wins!
Winner: Rhea Ripley, Dana Brooke & Liv Morgan, by submission
That mask didn’t protect the legs! Will it protect Mella from being thrown out? but then Nikki SUCKER PUNCHES Rhea! What kind of hero uses a cheap shot?! Will Rhea personally make sure the Rumble is a nightmare for her former friend?
The Alpha Academy Academic Challenge Round 1, Spelling Bee: The Alpha Academy VS RKBRO!
In order for Matt Riddle & Randy Orton to earn a rematch for the Raw Tag Team Championships, they have to show their mental strength is superior in a series of challengers! Otis looked a little worried about that last week, but will he and “Master” Chad Gable be able to outsmart the Stallion & Viper? Or will #4PointOtis no longer be top of the class?
Raw returns and Kevin Patrick presides over this challenge. He welcomes to Raw Tag Team Champions, the Alpha Academy. Gable says that was a fine introduction but a terrible explanation. So he’ll put it in a way that even the mindless morons of Ohio can understand. SHOOSH. Tonight is the first in a triad of events over the coming weeks. Fans chant, “You Suck!” and Otis gets upset. Gable says SHOOSH, and realizes vocabulary isn’t Ohio’s strong suit. Triad means three, so there will be three events. These events will prove Gable is a genius, just as his Master’s Degree and 4.0 GPA does. Don’t boo education! If anyone needs it, it’s Ohio.
Now, this will also prove his protégé, his prized pupil, Otis has both the brawn and brains the size of a tree trunk when he and Gable decimate RKBRO into mental submission. Gable is so proud of Otis. And lastly, Gable will use this platform to officially announce that the Alpha Academy are in the Men’s Royal Rumble! And you better believe one of them is winning, and then the Alpha Academy will headline WrestleMania! Thank you! Kevin Patrick then introduces the former tag team champions, RKBRO! Orton & Riddle head to the ring, and Kevin Patrick reminds us that this is a spelling bee. Tonight’s winners will then choose next week’s challenge stipulation.
The champions open, and first up is Otis. Gable says Otis has this, and Otis nervously steps to the mic. Otis’ word is… Emmental. Can Kevin use that in a sentence? A form of Swiss cheese. E-M-M-E-N-T-A-L! CORRECT! Gable is proud and Otis is sure they’ve already got this. First up for RKBRO, it’s Riddle. Fans fire up as The Bro goes to the mic. Riddle’s word is… Calibration. Cali-bro-tion? No, calibration. Can he use that in a sentence? Uh, ok. “A simple calibration is used to set up the system for individual implementation.” Please put that into letters for Riddle. No, Riddle, you have to spell it. Oh, okay, like when he calibrates his scale for measuring ounces and-
Riddle, just spell it then! Right, sorry. C-A-L-I-B-R-A-T-I-O-N. CORRECT! Tied at 1-1 and Riddle is fired up! Gable is now up, and his word is… Disillusion. Gable laughs that one off. He was hoping for a challenger. For the sake of sportsmanship, give him the definition! SHOOSH! He didn’t need it! This is Mr. 4.0, baby! It is the disbandment of a group or organization- No, Kevin said disillusion, not dissolution. D-I-S-S-O-L-U-T-I-O-N! NO, Gable! Wrong word! What?! That was dissolution but Kevin said disillusion. This is a joke! Kevin said the word wrong! Gable says he spelled a word right! But it wasn’t the word that was said.
Orton says maybe Gable can just a freakin’ seat! Orton is ready to get this over with. Then his word and the win is… Well, one of the most commonly misspelled words. Dumbbell. Riddle says Orton has this! And looking at Riddle, Orton has this. D-U-M-B-B-E-L-L. CORRECT! Gable is furious! Dumbbell for Orton? Riddle IS a dumbbell! Gable, shut your mouth! And Ohio, let’s go ahead and shut Gable’s mouth for him! They can go 1v1 right here, right now! Gable is furious, and Orton says Gable is clearly not that smart so maybe he’ll spell out how he’s gonna beat Gable: the three most destructive letters in sports entertainment, R K O!!
Randy Orton w/ Matt Riddle VS Chad Gable w/ Otis!
Raw returns and the match is on! Orton and Gable circle, fans rally behind “Randy! Randy!” and ties up with Gable. Orton headlocks, grinds Gable but Gable fights up. Gable pries the hold, has a top wristlock and he brings Orton down. Otis says that’s the power of leverage, and Gable wernches to a wristlock. But Orton powers out to drop toehold and facelock! Gable moves around, Orton gets away, and the two circle again. They tie up, Gable wrenches, wristlocks, but Orton fights up. Riddle and the fans rally up, Orton wrenches through and headlocks. Gable powers out, Orton runs him over! Riddle is fired up as Gable gets to a corner.
Orton and Gable reset, tie up again, and Gable wrenches to a hammerlock. Orton slips around to hammerlock back, then headlocks. Gable powers out, Orton runs him over, and things speed up. Gable arm-drags, and arm-drags again! Gable keeps on the arm and fans boo as he wrenches the shoulder. Orton fights up, fans keep rallying, and Orton whips Gable to a corner. Gable goes up and over but Orton fakes out the arm-drag! RK- NO! Gable pushes Orton away, and then bails out of the ring to regroup with Otis. Fans boo and a ring count starts. Otis says you can’t RKO someone with no neck! Gable gets in the ring, he circles with Orton and they tie up again.
Orton wrenches to a wristlock, but Gable rolls, bridges, spins and handsprings to spin through and headlock. Gable then spins to the toehold and has the ANKLE LOCK! But Orton slips away and bails out to regroup with Riddle. Gable says it was that close, but Orton keeps his cool. Orton takes his time returning, but Gable throat chops him! Gable CHOPS Orton to a corner, throws body shots and haymakers, but lets off as the ref counts. Gable fires off more forearms, strikes a pose, but then Orton kicks back! Orton fires off EuroUppers over and over, whips Gable to ropes, then CLOBBERS him with an elbow!
Gable bails out again, Orton stalks up behind him! Back suplex to the announce desk! Gable flops to the floor and Otis can only glare as Orton looms over Gable. Fans are all fired up as Orton puts Gable in the ring. Otis gets on the apron, Orton knock shim down! But Gable CHOP BLOCKS a leg! Gable runs, runs Orton over, then hurries up the corner! MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO!! Orton survives and Gable can’t believe it, while Raw goes to break.
Raw returns again and Gable has a standing toehold. Orton endures, Riddle coaches him up, but Gable stomps Orton down! Gable has Orton in a corner, hooks a leg in the ropes, then gets the other for a DRAPING DRAGON SCREW! The ref keeps Gable back but Gable shoots in to get the left leg. Orton CLUBS Gable, whips him but the bad leg gives up! Gable whips Orton into a corner, but Orton comes back to LARIAT! Orton manages to rally, and he dodges to BACK DROP Gable away! Gable goes to a corner, Orton runs in to clothesline! Fans are thunderous for RKBRO as Orton reels Gable in. Gable switches, Orton bucks the waistlock and hits a BACK2BACKBREAKER!
Fans fire up as Otis coaches Gable and Riddle coaches Orton. Orton puts Gable through ropes, drags him out, time to spell “vintage!” DRAPING DDT! Orton slowly gets up as fans fire up behind him. Orton hears the voices and he waits on Gable. Riddle sees Otis getting on the apron and runs over that way. But Otis gets him for an EXPLODER! Orton is distracted, Gable backslides him! TWO, and Orton hits a POWERSLAM! Orton’s bad leg slows him down, but the fans still rally as hard as ever. Orton stands over Gable, then aims from the corner. Otis shouts to Gable, but Orton runs in, only for Gable to dodge the punt! ANKLE LOCK!!
Orton endures as Gable thrashes the bad leg! Fans rally, Riddle CLOBBERS Otis with his scooter! And then again! And again! Gable is distracted, Orton rolls to send Gable into buckles! RKO!!! Cover, Orton wins!!
Winner: Randy Orton, by pinfall
RKBRO gets extra credit on The Alpha Academy! A win in the spelling bee and a win in the ring, but Riddle gets a mic. Riddle congratulations Orton, and reminds us that they get to choose the second Academy Challenge. Riddle thinks it’s time to go old school to gym class! What better way to show some physical prowess than a good, ol’ fashioned… scooter race! Is that really part of gym class? And does Otis even stand a chance of finding a scooter that can hold him up? Will RKBRO make it a 2-0 sweep? Or can Gable find a way to make a comeback?
Alexa Bliss continues her therapy.
The doctor thinks they’re making progress. Oh? He asks her a personal question: When was the very first time that Alexa met Lily? Oh, well, Lily’s been around her whole life. Any time Alexa was looked down on or bullied, Lily was there to be her friend. Alexa was just six years old when she met Lily. These two teenage girls picked on Alexa cuz she wore glasses, and they shoved her off the monkey bars. Alexa got knocked out, and when she came to, Lily was there. Those cute button eyes and the braids and stitching. Is that too much? No, keep going. Okay.
That day, Alexa and Lily got ice cream and played on the monkey bars. Lily said those mean girls would never come back, too. Then they ate candy and gumdrops, and they did that game where you stuff marshmallows in your mouth and try to say, “Chubby bunny.” Well, Alexa has plenty more to say, will we get to the bottom of Lily’s hold over Alexa?
Vince McMahon talks with Austin Theory.
Vince knows Theory is doing really good lately, especially the selfies. Yeah, look at this one! No, not that one. Well, it did feel good destroying Finn Balor, just like Vince wanted. And in the Rumble, Theory will win and face the champion of his choosing at WrestleMania! That’s exciting. If it’s not too much to ask, maybe Theory could get a late number? Like 26 or 27?Why would Theory think Vince has any influence over that at all? Especially right now, when he should focus on his opponent, AJ Styles. Whoa, as in, former WWE Champion, US Champion, Intercontinental Champion, Tag Team Champion, Grand Slam Champion AJ Styles? Yep! That AJ Styles.
Theory says that’s fine. Sounds good, even! Okay, hang on. Don’t forget your phone. And bring back a really good selfie. Yes, sir! Will Theory be able to be more than Phenomenal here tonight? Or does he finally fall out of favor with Mr. McMahon?
AJ Styles VS Austin Theory!
The Phenomenal One himself just got finished with a bright and shining star with a big ego in Grayson Waller. Will Styles check off another future star in Vince’s newest pet project?
Raw returns and Theory makes his entrance. The bell rings, they tie up, and Theory powers Styles to a corner. The ref counts, Theory lets off to mock Styles’ pose, but Styles keeps cool. They tie up again, Styles powers Theory to a corner but Theory turns it around. The ref counts, Theory lets off, and then he double guns. Styles still stays cool, ties up with Theory and gets a headlock. Theory powers up but can’t power out as Styles holds tight. Theory powers out, Styles ducks the hurdle, rolls Theory up, TWO! Theory fireman’s carries, but Styles sunset flips! TWO, Styles wheelbarrows to a victory roll, TWO! Styles dropkicks Theory right outta the ring!
Fans fire up and Styles takes aim. Slingshot and FOREARM! Direct hit and Theory checks his chin. Styles puts Theory back in the ring, stalks Theory to ropes, brings Theory up and bumps him off buckles. Styles CHOPS, Theory staggers to another corner, but Styles brings him out. Theory kicks but Styles blocks. Theory ROCKS Styles with a forearm, but Styles KICKS Theory’s leg! Theory hobbles to the corner, but Styles storms over. Theory YANKS Styles into buckles! And then throws him down by his hair! Slingshot STOMP, deadlift suplex! Cover, ONE!! Theory is annoyed and he rains down rights before wrapping on a headlock.
Theory grinds Styles but fans rally up. Styles fights up, puts Theory in a corner, but Theory turns things around. Styles dodges to CHOP! And CHOP! Theory falls and crawls, but he throws body shots. Styles KICKS Theory in the side! Styles runs for a BIG knee drop! Cover, TWO! Styles gets Theory up, snap suplexes, covers, TWO! Theory grits his teeth but Styles drags him back up. Theory FLAPJACK HOTSHOTS him! Styles sputters while Theory seethes, and Theory stomps Styles down! Theory drags Styles up, throws forearms, then whips corner to corner. Styles hits buckles hard, and Theory gets in his face! “How’s that feel?!”
Theory throws fists down but the ref back shim off. Theory stands on Styles’ head, but lets off as the ref counts. Theory drags Styles up but Styles DECKS Theory with a forearm! Styles drags Theory up, but Theory suplexes for a GOURD BUSTER! Styles flounders in the corner, Theory hoists him up top. Theory throws forearms, climbs up to join Styles, but Styles throws body shots in return. Styles ROCKS Theory, Theory drops but then somersaults to SHOTGUN DROPKICK Styles to the floor! Fans boo but Theory grins as he looks down at Styles, and Raw goes to break.
Raw returns and Theory has a headlock. Styles throws body shots, Theory knees low. Styles kicks back, then ENZIGURIS! Theory staggers, Styles runs in but Theory catches his crossbody for a BACKBREAKER! Then a SWINGING BACKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Theory grins as Styles survives, and he stalks Styles to ropes. Theory bumps Styles off buckles, then RAMS a shoulder into his back! And again, and again! Theory lets off as the ref counts, and Theory throws down more fists. Theory brings Styles up, but Styles JAWBREAKERS free! Styles ROCKS Theory with a right, then CHOPS him to ropes. Styles whips, Theory reverses and BACK DROPS! Cover, TWO!
Theory says HE is phenomenal but fans boo. Theory drags Styles up to snapmare and stomp him down! Theory mocks Styles’ pose again, but misses the elbow drop! Theory grits his teeth as he gets back up and runs in at the corner. Styles elbows Theory away, then QUEBRADA DDT! Both men are down but the fans fire up! Theory and Styles are on opposite ends, Styles runs in to LARIAT! Theory kicks back but Styles fires off the Phenomenal Blitz! Styles hits a clothesline in the corner, then suplexes Theory to a NECKBREAKER! Styles runs, SLIDING FOREARM! Cover, TWO! Theory is still in it but Styles keeps his cool.
Styles drags Theory up, fireman’s carries but Theory slips out. Styles ducks the haymaker but not the back elbow! Theory hits a BIG back suplex! Cover, TWO! Theory checks his chin again, drags Styles up and says he’s got this. JAWBREAKER! Styles runs in, but into a BOOT! Theory somersaults for a BLOCKBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Styles survives and Theory can’t believe it! Theory shakes his head, convincing himself he can do this. Theory gets Styles up to throw big forearms in the corner. Theory puts Styles up top, climbs up to join him, but Styles resists! Styles slips through and trips Theory up! Styles waistlocks, but Theory elbows out hard!
Theory reels Styles in, but Styles fights out of the powerbomb! Styles ducks and dodges to PELE! Both men are down again and fans are rallying! Styles reels Theory in, but Theory fireman’s carries! Styles fights free, rolls Theory, CALF CRUSHER!! Theory scrambles, ROPEBREAK! Styles lets go and both men slowly get up. Styles grabs at Theory but Theory holds the ropes. The ref calls the ropebreak, Theory throat chops! But Styles BOOTS back, goes to the outside, but Theory trips up his springboard! High stack, but with ropes! The ref sees that and stops the count! Theory and the ref argue, but Styles ROCKS Theory!
Styles is on the apron, he springboards in, PHENOMENAL FOREARM!! Cover, Styles wins!
Winner: AJ Styles, by pinfall
Now that was phenomenal! Will Styles use this momentum to take the Royal Rumble and that golden ticket to WrestleMania? And what of Theory facing Vince’s wrath?
Raw holds a simultaneous interview with Becky Lynch and “Doudrop” Piper Niven.
Commentary wants to start with Piper. This match has been a long time coming, and Piper ran through the rest of the division to- Becky speaks up and asks if this is their first time. We start with the champion. And she’ll start with a champion of “a wee lass named Doudrop.” When she first got her start across the pond, who did she idolize? Becky. Who did she want to face most? Becky. Tell ’em how Becky paved the way, and as the groundbreaker she is, she gave Piper this match. People are asking, “Why would anybody in their right mind choose someone who can clearly out power them? Who can clearly break all their bones with one slam to the mat?”
Maybe that’s the answer! Maybe Becky isn’t in her right mind. Or maybe Becky is that confident in how damn good she is! Or that generous to grant an opportunity to a fellow Celt. Piper speaks up to suggest that maybe, Becky handpicked Piper because Becky is desperate. Maybe ever since she returned, she’s been ducking, dodging and scrambling just to hold onto the title. Maybe Becky thought putting the new girl in would be an easy victory. The only easy thing here will be how easy it is for Piper to break every single one of Becky’s ribs.
Becky wants “Doudou” to hold on there. Becky should be thanked for giving Piper her biggest match, her first title match here, and for paving the way and giving Piper a match at one of the biggest events of the year. If Piper had just said thanks, but no. Piper waited for Becky to get in and offer a handshake, so of course Becky slapped her across the face. And being the bigger person, Becky offers to lead Piper to victory in the tag match. But then Piper splashed Becky, dropped her, left her lying. Becky admits, she didn’t see that coming. But Piper’s in for a rude awakening at the Rumble when she steps in the ring with the #VanGOAT and Becky wins to stay Raw Women’s Champion.
Oh, is Becky done? Piper zoned out when she started hearing that whining, nagging sound, or else she was gonna lose it. But Piper will show gratitude when Becky shows respect. But Becky won’t, she will keep whining. She’s not a goat, she’s a little lamb on the way to the slaughter. The Dome is the slaughterhouse, and the new champion will be Doudrop! Becky says Piper was just another name to fill out the roster before this. Piper needs to know her place. It’s dead space and- Oh, Piper’s getting off the mic? She gonna run? She can’t run from the truth, or from this fight. Becky’s been champ for nearly three years !But then Piper barges into Becky’s room!
Piper and Becky scrap and referees rush in to stop it! Piper says her place is with the title, standing over Becky! Will Piper be the one to make Becky DouDROP that title?
Backstage interview with Rey & Dominik Mysterio.
Sarah congratulates Rey on being the WWE 2K22 cover superstar. What does it mean to be among the ranks like Stone Cold, The Rock, John Cena and The Undertaker? Rey says this is so dope. You have no idea what an honor it is to represent. Most superstars spend their careers chasing achievements, from main eventing WrestleMania or entering the Hall of Fame. Being on the cover of a WWE video game is no different, especially when that game is FIRE! Although, the one thing prouder would be seeing Dom on the cover one day. Dom says now Rey’s talking. Dom used to play those games growing up, and he knows he has to create his own legacy to be in those games. That starts Saturday when he wins the Royal Rumble.
Well okay, but that’d mean he has to throw Rey out. That’s not happening, right? Well after last week, he might be first to go! Dom’s got jokes. He’s playin’ right? Dom grins and heads out, but Rey laughs it off. Will “every man for himself” be true even for the Mysterio Familia?
The Mysterios VS The Street Profits!
Rey & Dom won alongside Montez Ford & Angelo Dawkins last week, but now they’ll go against each other for some last minute momentum! Who will be on fire going into the Royal Rumble match after tonight?
Raw returns as the Mysterios make their entrance. The teams sort out, Dawkins starts against Dom. They circle, tie up, and Dom headlocks. Dawkins powers out, things speed up, Dom RANAS! Dom throws hands, knuckle locks and CHOPS, then goes up to FLYING ARM-DRAG! Dawkins dodges, Dom keeps moving, Dawkins hits a big back elbow! Cover, TWO! Dawkins drags Dom up, whips him to ropes, but Dom wheelbarrow sand throws Dawkins out of the ring! Rey gets in, holds the way open., Dom DIVES! Direct hit onto Dawkins, and then Rey crossbodies Ford! Rey runs, but Ford throws him out onto Dom!
Dom manages to catch Rey, but Ford FLIES! Direct hit and down goes everyone! Ohio is fired up as Raw goes to break!
Raw returns again and Dawkins grinds Dom down in a chinlock. Dom endures, fights up, throws body shots, but Dawkins DECKS Dom with a right! Cover, TWO! Dom is still in this but Dawkins wraps on another chinlock. Dom endures again, fights up, Rey coaches him through it, and Dom gets to his feet. Dom throws more body shots, but Dawkins knees low. Dom ends up in a corner, but he dodges the cyclone splash to kick and TORNADO DDT! Both men are down and fans fire up! Dawkins and Dom crawl, hot tags to Ford and Rey! Rey dodges Ford to tilt-o-whirl and headscissor! Ford ends up in a corner, puts Rey on the outside, but Rey ROCKS him!
Rey goes up top, leaps, SEATED SENTON! Rey keeps moving, dodges again, but Ford FLAPJACKS Rey down! Ford somersaults, to a SPLASH! Cover, TWO! Rey gets to ropes, Ford whips him, but Rey kicks back. Rey slides under, Dom gets in, and he gives Rey a boost to RANA Ford on tropes! The Mysterios dial it up but Dawkins trips Dom and drags him out! Ford runs in but Rey drop toeholds him to ropes! 6 1 NO! Ford blocks that, gets Rey up in an Electric chair, but Rey victory rolls! The Mysterios win!!
Winners: Rey & Dominik Mysterio, by pinfall
The King of Lucha finds a way to snatch this one away from the Profits! But then Dom gets behind Rey and lifts him up, but Rey RANAS Dom out! Rey tells Dom he needs to try better than that, but then Ford TOSSES Rey! But then Dawkins tosses Ford! Dawkins says he got Ford there! But then the DIRTY DAWGS get in, and they both throw Dawkins out! Roode & Ziggler talk trash, but then the Mysterios and the Profits get in to go after them! It’s a huge scrap, but the Dawgs get tossed! And then the remaining four all square off in their own corners! Will any of these men make it to the end of the Rumble match this Saturday?
Backstage interview with Seth Rollins.
Kevin Patrick brings up how the Usos are barred from ringside during the Universal Championship match at the Royal Rumble, and Rollins says that sounds so good. Rollins likes K-Peezy and will give him a little “insider information.” This was never about The Usos, or anyone else but Roman VS Seth, Seth VS Roman. Now they go 1v1 at the Rumble for the title, and historically speaking, Rollins likes his odds. Rollins knows he can beat Roman because he’s already done it. Roman knows Rollins has his number. Roman wants people to think very highly of him, but Rollins is the one who can put Roman in his place.
So speaking of Roman, Rollins is going to pay SmackDown one more visit this Friday, because unlike Roman, Rollins delivers his messages in person. See you Friday, brother! Rollins laughs it up, but will he have the last laugh this Friday? And will this Saturday be the first time Roman gets the better of Rollins?
The Miz heads to the ring!
The Hollywood A-Lister promised it last week, and now it’s here! Maryse’s birthday celebration will be here on Raw, and the ring’s already filled with presents! Will all go smoothly for the It Couple this close to the Royal Rumble? We’ll see, after the break.
Raw returns and Miz welcomes us to the Maryse Birthday Extravaganza! It’s a celebration of his wife’s birthday, and then Saturday, we will celebrate The It Couple beating The Grit Couple! So without further ado, welcome the birthday girl, a woman more gorgeous, more sexier and more intelligent than anyone here, Maryse! Maryse makes her entrance, and there’s security at ringside. Miz says he speaks for everyone here when he says, “Open your first gift!” Maryse pulls the veil off a painted portrait of her and Miz as a prince and princess! Miz has done it! She feels even more special than the day she became a mother!
Or when he got her that pink Rolls Royce! Or when he got her that $500,000 ring. Well no expense spared. He got top of the line security to make sure there will be no intruders! They checked the ceiling so there wouldn’t be a Brood Bath! There will be no Edge or Beth here! Miz speaks for all of us when he says, “Open your second gift!” Miz hands it to Maryse, she pulls off the lid, and it’s… A custom hand purse! It says “No limit” on the side because there is no limit to their love. Wait, what’s this big one? Miz thought Maryse got him something. Uh, it’s her birthday. Why would she… Wait, then if he didn’t get that, and she didn’t get that… Then what’s in the box?
SECURITY! Get in here and open the box for Miz! The guard goes up to it, rips the paper away, and it’s all a trick! Miz put the brick that Maryse hit Beth with in a frame! This demonstrates that these two will always be one step ahead of Edge & Beth. Just watch this recap video as proof! Maryse asked Beth to call off the Mixed Tag, Beth refused, Miz tried to jump Edge but failed, but it still distracted Beth enough so Maryse could CLOBBER Beth! Fans boo but Miz & Mrs. just soak it up. Now it is time for everyone to get up out of their seats and sing Happy Birthday to Maryse. On three. One, two, DO NOT BOO! This is a birthday celebration! Stand up and sing!!
Now, one! Two! Three! HIT IT! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you~! Miz is so sour… But here comes EDGE! AND Beth! Edge has the music cut to tell Mike ‘n’ Maryse that they’ve been real clever. But being clever won’t matter on Saturday. All these security guards won’t matter on Saturday. Because Miz & Maryse stepped in it now! They’ve got a pissed off Rated R Superstar, and an extremely pissed off Glamazon on their hands. These two are gonna show everyone why that’s not a good thing. The Grit Couple storms to the ring, CLOBBER guard after guard, and Beth scoop SLAMS the next one! Edge TOSSES another, Beth sends one more into the steps!
The It Couple bail out of the ring, so Edge and Beth tear everything up! Beth SPEARS one guard, Edge SPEARS another! Miz & Maryse freak out over the cake being in harm’s way, but the Grit Couple give a guard a HART ATTACK! Shout out to the days of Beth teaming with Natty. Another guard gets in, he gets a 3D!! A shout out to some of Edge’s greatest rivals, before he BOOTS another guard! Edge sees the cake still standing, and Miz says he better not! Edge drags the guard up, reels him in, and POWERBOMBS him through the cake AND table! The terror on the It Couple’s faces is real this time! Will they even show up in St. Louis for that Mixed Tag match?
I have a feeling word got back that last week’s Raw was pretty sad, because they made sure this week’s Raw was really good. Now, a weigh-in segment for a title that doesn’t really have weight restrictions was really just an excuse to get Lesnar and Lashley to interact one more time. But Lashley and Lesnar are both doing really well on the mic these days, and Lesnar being dismissive of Lashley is such a great element of this. It’d be wild if Lashley won this but there’s a good chance Lesnar retains and we still get something of Lesnar VS Roman, title for title. Rollins has a good promo rather late in the night, but him hyping up the SmackDown go-home means something good is coming.
Bianca VS Vega was a short match, as was the Six Woman Tag, but sadly that’s how things are in RawDown these days… But at least we got a great promo segment from Becky and Piper. Piper leaving her room to find Becky and brawl with her was awesome stuff, and their match is going to be awesome stuff, but pretty sure Becky wins. Then they’ll set up Becky VS Bianca at WrestleMania, Bianca finally avenges her SummerSlam loss. Also, Alexa Bliss has to be returning to action during the Rumble. She might not win but she could have a really good showing to reestablish herself. Tonight’s vignette didn’t really do much, it just had her rambling about Lily’s origin story with no serious revelation.
We got a really good US Championship match, but it was a bit cheap for Priest to get disqualified when “Damian” let loose. Maybe Kevin comes back after the Rumble to try again and that builds to a US title match at the Elimination Chamber PPV in February. Styles VS Theory was a great match, too, just wish Vince would’ve let Theory and Finn have a match as good as that. And if Styles was still feuding with Grayson Waller, we could’ve built to Styles & Finn VS Theory & Waller, but nope. Vince has apparently given up on Finn, but not enough to cut him the same way they cut a lot of other great people. What a weird old man.
I loved so much of the Academic Challenge segment. Great promos from everyone, and I love that Gable got so cocky that he went with what he thought he heard and not what Kevin Patrick really said. Then we got an awesome match of Orton VS Gable, that also had the awesome aside of Riddle attacking Otis with the scooter. Now, going with a scooter race next week isn’t really something you’d see in gym class from what I’ve experienced, but it’s definitely a Riddle kind of choice. I’m not sure how, but Alpha Academy is definitely finding a way to win to push this to the third challenge, which RKBRO will win to get a tag title match.
The Mysterios VS Profits was really good, with Ford and Rey really standing out in this match. Mysterios get the win for momentum, but then the Dirty Dawgs get in on things for a nice brawl. I don’t see any of those six winning, though, but maybe the Mysterios come out tag title contenders for after RKBRO and Alpha Academy sort out. And then we got a pretty good final segment. As birthday parties that get ruined goes, I like that Miz swerved us with the giant box and then we get Edge & Beth straight up crashing the party. I spotted the Tate Twins among the security guards that got bodied, I hope that means they’re signing with NXT 2.0. The Grit Couple standing tall here, the math would suggest The It Couple finds a way to win, but who knows, Edge & Beth could defy the math.
My Score: 8.3/10
Mitchell’s AEW Dark: Elevation Results & Report! (1/24/22)
Washington DC gets Elevated!
AEW has eight for America’s capital!
Team Taz’s Ricky Starks & “Powerhouse” Hobbs look to clear out Dante Martin’s allies, Matt Sydal & Lee Moriarty, as AEW continues in Washington, DC!
- Leyla Hirsch VS Brittany Blake; Hirsch wins.
- Private Party VS Myles Hawkins & Action Andretti; Private Party wins.
- Brandi Rhodes VS Willow Nightingale; Brandi wins.
- The Men of the Year VS Logan Easton Laroux & Mike Fowler; The Men of the Year win.
- Red Velvet VS Janai Kai; Velvet wins.
- Santana & Ortiz VS Breaux Keller & Goldy; Santana & Ortiz win.
- Thunder Rosa & Ruby Soho VS Leva Bates & Jordan Blade; Rosa & Soho win.
- Ricky Starks & “Powerhouse” Will Hobbs VS Matt Sydal & Lee Moriarty; Starks & Hobbs win.
Great to see Leva Bates back in action, but I have a feeling she and Jordan Blade will put Rosa and Soho over. Leyla Hirsch is in her first match since her Heel turn, so seeing how #LEGITHEEL wrestles compared to when she was a Face will be one to watch. And Team Taz taking on Sydal & Moriarty is going to be great, especially since it ties story in from Dynamite.
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