SmackDown brings us a Wrestlemania Rematch this close to TLC! The Queen ended the Empress of Tomorrow’s undefeated streak, but will history repeat itself?
- Daniel Bryan VS Mustafa Ali; Bryan wins.
- The Miz & Shane McMahon VS Chip & Chad; The Miz & Shane win.
- Samoa Joe & Shinsuke Nakamura VS Jeff Hardy & Rusev w/ Lana; Hardy & Rusev win.
- Charlotte Flair VS Asuka; Asuka wins, by disqualification.
PLAY BY PLAY
Daniel Bryan heads to the ring!
Or should we say, the new Daniel Bryan. Either way, the WWE Championship will be on the line against the Phenomenal AJ Styles. However, it’s a minor miracle Styles can even compete after what this Daniel Bryan did to his leg at the end of last week. Fans boo and jeer this Bryan as he picks up a mic. Bryan recalls calling the WWE Universe a bunch of sheep. He wants to apologize for that. Bryan wants to apologize to sheep. Sheep don’t deserve to be compared to such idiots! They’re not the ones destroying the planet with endless consumption. It’s not a “carbon hoof print.” The fans aren’t sheep. They’re parasites! Fans disagree, and believe “Daniel Sucks!” He just calls them fickle.
As he was saying, fans are parasites because they take and take and give nothing in return, especially in Las Vegas. But Bryan isn’t surprised, because fans latched on tot he Old Bryan and lived vicariously through him. That’s what the Yes Movement really was. “Well guess what? The Old Daniel Bryan is dead! And the Yes Movement is dead!” But just like any parasite, the fans have moved on to a new “fickle field”. And these idiots all sit on the couch in the House that AJ Styles Built. Fans cheer for Styles, but Bryan reminds us he is the WWE Champion! And at TLC, Bryan vows to crush Styles’ dream of reclaiming the title, and then the announcement will be “Still WWE Champion, the NEW Daniel Bryan!”
Do fans not believe him? “No! No!” Well Bryan debates with friends all the time, “sometimes you don’t know whether your’e stupid or you deliberately pull the wool over your eyes so you don’t have to realize the facts.” Stupidity is the deliberate cultivation of ignorance. Like in Vegas! But wait, here comes Bryan’s opponent for tonight, the Beacon of Light, Mustafa Ali! Ali responds to Bryan with an introduction, but Bryan already knows who he is. The idiot fans might not but Bryan does. And he knows they’re having a match later, but Ali can join him now. Bryan gives Ali an introduction, and it seems fans do know who he is. Ali is the Heart of 205 Live, and is an incredible performer. Bryan sees a lot of his former self in Ali.
So Bryan gives Ali advice: they don’t need to have this match tonight. Bryan tells Ali that the fans won’t care, “they’re too self-absorbed” and xenophobic. These fickle fans do not deserve this great match. Fans boo so Bryan calls them all fickle. But Ali wants to know what happened to Bryan. Bryan inspired wrestlers like Ali to become a superstar. The entire 205 Live roster looks up to Bryan because Bryan stood toe to toe with any giant and proved he had heart. So what happened? Bryan talks about the Old Bryan, but that Old Bryan would want a fight. Ali wants a fight! Bryan paces while fans chant “Fight! Fight!” Bryan asks Ali what kind of car he drives. What does that have to do with this? But, it’s an SUV.
Bryan doesn’t like that. Ali is small, why does he need a car so big? Well, he has a wife and kids- Bryan slaps him! Bryan says Ali is ignorant, and slaps him again. So Ali fights back! Bryan whips but Ali reverses and headscissors Bryan tot he apron! Then dropkicks Bryan out, and leaps with a senton! Ali looks to shut this New Bryan up, next!
Daniel Bryan VS Mustafa Ali!
SmackDown returns as Bryan whips Ali and knocks him down with a kitchen sink knee. Bryan drags Ali up for a headbutt then toys with him. Fans boo as Bryan taunts Ali then bumps him off buckles. Bryan kicks away on Ali in the corner, then soaks up the heat. Bryan drags Ali up with an arm wrench, then whips him corner to corner. Ali goes up but Bryan catches him with a kick. Bryan kicks Ali while he’s down, then drops knees. Bryan hooks Ali’s face but lets up at 4. Ali gets to a corner but Bryan rocks him with a European Uppercut. Bryan grabs Ali for a toehold, then drops an elbow on the knee. Bryan hooks the legs and grabs at the arms. Ali resists so Bryan hooks the nose instead!
Bryan lets up at 4, then hooks the nose again. He lets go at 4, and then lets off the legs to stomp Ali on the back! Fans boo but Bryan soaks up the heat. Bryan stalks Ali and gives him the Yes Kicks. OR perhaps now, the “No Kicks” because fans say “No!” with each one. Bryan aims but Ali dodges to kick back! Ali SUPERKICKS Bryan in the back, covers, TWO! Bryan bails out but Ali builds speed to wreck him with a dropkick! Ali slingshots but Bryan dodges to send Ali into the post! Bryan grins while we go picture in picture.
Ali is down while Bryan catches his breath. Bryan climbs up top to make sure everyone can see him. Then he goes back for Ali on the outside, but leaves him for dead. Bryan soaks up the heat and counts along, but Ali gets in at 9! Bryan looks annoyed by the resilient Ali. He kicks Ali while he’s down, then drags him up. Bryan snap suplexes Ali down, then heads up top. Ali gets up and stops Bryan! Ali climbs up to join Bryan, and hits a SUPER SPANISH FLY!! But Ali flounders away, he crawls back to a cover, TWO!! Ali was so close to pinning THE WWE Champion! He hurries to put Bryan in a drop zone and goes back up. But Bryan trips Ali off and Ali hits the floor!
Bryan gets Ali back into the ring fast, and wraps on the No Lock! Ali moves around, enduring the hold. Bryan wrenches back hard, but Ali doesn’t give up. Ali drags himself and Bryan towards ropes as we return to single picture. Ali reaches, and gets the ropebreak! Bryan lets go, but is simply annoyed further. Bryan drags Ali up and puts him on the top rope backwards. He pulls Ali down into the Tree of Woe and gives more No Kicks. Bryan runs corner to corner, and hits a dropkick! Bryan drags Ali out of the Tree, then puts him back up. He climbs up behind Ali, but Ali slips out of the Super Back Suplex! Ali dodges Bryan and Bryan hits buckles! Ali CHOPS Bryan, and again, and again! Bryan kicks back and bump Ali off buckles.
Bryan whips but Ali reverses. Ali gets under Bryan to hit the tornado DDT! Cover, TWO! Ali again comes close and is shocked. Bryan ends up in a drop zone and Ali hurries up again. Ali leaps, 0-5-4 FLOPS! Bryan drags Ali over and slams his leg into the post! And again! And again! Ali crawls away but Bryan comes around from the corner to chop block the leg! Bryan drags Ali into the Heel Hook! Ali taps, Bryan wins!
Winner: The New Daniel Bryan, by submission
The WWE Champion’s new mean streak helps him snuff out the Beacon of Light tonight in Vegas! However, The Phenomenal One is coming for payback, will he become the new champion?
But Bryan isn’t done with Ali! He attacks Ali on the stage with those savage stomps! And he puts the Heel Hook on again! Ali taps but it doesn’t matter. More referees appear and Bryan lets Ali go. Fans boo but Bryan revels in it as he holds up his title. This mean streak runs deep, will it be the key to keeping the New Bryan the current champion?
Awww Vegas~! It’s time for a Rap Battle!
The New Day come out to host a special battle of bars between The Usos and The Bar!
SmackDown returns as Kofi Kingston, Xavier Woods and Big E stand ready as judges for this second ever SmackDown Rap Battle. Meanwhile, The Bar look like they stepped out from the 90’s. Now they’ll all be battling in the SmackDown Tag Team Championship Triple Threat. The Bar requested this battle but the New Day won’t allow for any funny business. Sheamus starts off, “This has gone too far, Big Tony, hit them with the bar.” Cesaro starts a beat for “Ice Ice Shamy.” The Bar basically parody Vanilla Ice. Fans don’t know whether to laugh or boo. The New Day rank that… a trash can out of 10.
As for the Usos, Jimmy and Jey take a moment to collect themselves. “It’s the Usos VS the Bar in a rap off, I’m like it can’t be. What the hell are they about to talk about, UCe?” “Sheamus’ hair grease. Cesaro’s mouth piece.” The Usos got cheated, defeated, they removed it from their memories like Woken Hardy: DELETED. They beat the Ninja Turtles, and now it’s on to Bebop and Rock Steady. “FELLA~!” Mr. Movie Star, they’re not stealing a line but that was booty. Usos show love, like cupid. Sheamus looks dumb. No, like stupid! Is Sheamus purposefully staying white like chalk? Does he have Cesaro help him with the mohawk? Brogue Kicks VS Superkick, ain’t no pump action, those come from the hip, hit you in the teeth. But how do you knock Cesaro’s teeth out with no knuckles? I dunno. Let’s introduce our friend, Mr. Turnbuckle.
Hello, Mr. Turnbuckle! How did it feel? Well when he pushed Cesaro’s teeth down his throat, we learned who’s the real man of steel. Cesaro the Swiss Superman, right? King of Swing, right? But that won’t matter against their Uso kryptonite! The Bar sets the bar? No this is a true tag team, they’re the stars. Ten years, still going hard, zero injuries, Uso Iron Man! Tony Stark!! The Usos are bulletproof, are the truth and still have fun. Back to back tag team of the year, six time champs coming soon. The Bar, New Day, Usos, Sunday, Welcome to the Uso Penitentiary! The Bar have heard enough, they start swinging! The Usos are ready, and they hit back! Cesaro and Sheamus get sent out, and then the Usos are ready to throw with The New Day.
But The Bar comes back to blow it all up! BROGUE for Jey, and then a beating for the hosts! Jey gets up, but gets A-Swiss-ted White Noise! The Bar hold up their titles, and as the Usos said themselves, “We ARE the Bar!” Will #RunBAR continue to run the SmackDown Tag Team Division after TLC’s Triple Threat?
“I thought nobody would be ready for Asuka. I was wrong, I was not ready, I made one mistake.” The mistake was Asuka let up. But this Sunday, Asuka will kick, strike, climb and grab that title to win. As for tonight, Charlotte won’t be ready this time! The Empress is fired up, will she settle the score from back at Wrestlemania?
The Miz is in the ring!
He holds the World Cup trophy, and tells Shane McMahon that while it’s his week to have custody, Miz needs to speak his mind. Miz wants Shane to come out, and doesn’t want to have to beg. Fans want to see him beg. Miz concedes, and kneels. He bends the knee, and asks Shane come out to talk. This is bigger than a trophy, so please come out. Shane O’Mac appears! He joins Miz in the ring, and says “What’s up, Las Vegas?” And what is up with Miz? Is he okay? Why is Miz out here with the trophy? It’s the only way Miz can get through to him! Shane won’t respond to him. They can be so good together, if he’d just give Miz a chance.
Miz knows Shane is scared, and so is Miz. But Shane owes Miz one. They should tag together again. If they lose, fine, this can stop. But if they win, they can be the #BestTeamintheWorld! Shane thinks this is getting weird. No, the trophy is just a symbol. They can be so much more! Then enlighten him. Okay, fine. Miz will say this for the first time in his life. In fact, Miz will show him! Get a referee out here! A referee appears. They’ll take on Chip & Chad, The Vegas Boys! Chip & Chad appear, and the match is set?
The Miz & Shane McMahon VS Chip & Chad!
Shane is very confused, and tries to reason with Miz while the bell rings. Chip and Chad attack Shane! Miz is shocked, but he coaches Shane up. Shane fires off fast hands! He knocks Chip(?) down then throws him out! Shane dares Chad(?) to fight, and he lights him up with jabs! Shane whips then hits a big back elbow. He hits Chip away and then gives Chad a float-over DDT! Fans want Miz to get in, but he’s busy holding the world cup. Shane brings Chad into a triangle hold! Miz is already celebrating before Chad taps out. Shane & Miz win!
Winners: The Miz & Shane McMahon, Shane by submission
The Best Team in the World finally succeeds! But Miz is clearly more pumped then Shane is about it. Will Shane come around and join Miz on this tag team journey to the top? Or is Miz just seeing what he wants to see?
Paige is furious with the referee.
They can’t just be making matches without the GM’s consent! Especially with the commissioner. But The Miz said she gave permission. Paige sees what’s going on now. But just as she tells the ref to hush, Chip & Chad come in, with invoices. The Miz said they were getting paid $5000 each for that match. Paige tears up the invoices, and tells everyone to leave. Will the GM have words for the overly ambitious A-Lister?
Randy Orton heads to the ring!
The Viper prepares for a Chairs Match with the King of Lucha Libre! These two will be able to do whatever they want with those infamous steel weapons. Orton brings one into the ring with him, and says “Nothing like a good ol’ fashioned solid steel chair, am I right?” They’re built for comfort, but can also make a statement. Orton rolls footage of how he’s used these chairs to brutalize Rey Mysterio these last few weeks, namely wrapped around Mysterio’s head before being thrown into a steel post. Orton likes that, but perhaps we can do better. He rolls more footage, as he did very much the same thing, but throwing Mysterio into steel steps this time.
“Now let me get this straight.” Mysterio knows he has a Chairs Match, and is okay with that? Everyone’s seen what Orton does to his opponent, yet Mysterio is okay with that? Mysterio must think he’ll get his revenge. But Mysterio is a victim, and victims don’t get revenge. The locker room will be worried about TLC, but Mysterio needs to be worried about RKO. But Mysterio SMACKS Orton from behind! Mysterio jabs the chair into Orton, then SMACKS him again! Then he tosses the chair at Orton, to dropkick it in his head! Orton is on the ropes, and Mysterio hits the 619! Orton bails out, but Mysterio wants more! Will the Viper be a victim after Sunday?
Backstage interview with Becky Lynch.
If Charlotte Flair and Asuka beat each other up badly enough, does that give her an advantage in the SmackDown Women’s Championship TLC? Advantage? Becky’s getting back in the ring, road testing both her banged up face and her banged up brain, in one of the most dangerous matches in all of WWE. And not just against one but two of the best. So no, there is no advantage. But Becky still loves it. Fighting against the odds is what Becky does. And doctors can get all twitchy, but she’ll still scout her opponents tonight. And then on Sunday, she’ll remind all of us how much chaos can happen when The Man comes around.
Samoa Joe & Shinsuke Nakamura VS Jeff Hardy & Rusev w/ Lana!
The Destroyer wants to remind the Enigma of his troubled past, while the King of Strong Style wants to make it clear the Super Athlete will never relive his glory days. Will Hardy and Rusev uniting be enough to show Joe and Nakamura that it’s not about the past but the future?
Nakamura and Joe troll their opponents, but then the FABULOUS Truth appears? Dance Break~! The music hits and the flossing begins! “Proceed.” Nakamura kicks Hardy and the match begins! Nakamura drives in knees, then stomps Hardy down. He tags in Joe and Joe drives down elbows. Hardy hits back and Joe bails out. Joe drags Hardy out to join him and then throws Hardy into barriers. The Destroyer looms over the Enigma as we go picture in picture.
Joe puts Hardy back in the ring and stands hardy up. He tags to Nakamura and Nakamura stomps away in the corner. Nakamura gives Hardy Bad Vibrations, then taunts Rusev. He says “C’MON!” and Rusev takes the bait, but the ref keeps him back. Nakamura goes back to Hardy for a snapmare and knee drop! Cover, TWO! Joe tags in but Hardy flounders for Rusev. Joe drags him back and stomps Hardy out, before driving elbow after elbow into Hardy’s shoulder. He wrenches Hardy’s neck and Hardy endures as fans rally. Hardy stands up and fights back, but runs into Joe’s back elbow. Joe covers, TWO! Joe stands Hardy up for jabs as we return to single picture.
The referee counts and Joe backs off. Hardy fires off but Joe reverses the whip to hit the back elbow to Pele! Hardy goes down, Joe covers, but Rusev breaks it. Joe keeps on Hardy with another snapmare, and chops to the shoulder. He tags in Nakamura and Nakamura stomps on Hardy. Nakamura brings Hardy up in a facelock, then rams his knee in. He puts Hardy on the top rope and hits the Top Shelf Knee! Cover, TWO! Nakamura keeps his eyes on Rusev as he tags Joe back in. Joe kicks Hardy while he’s down, then pulls on the arms for the half surfboard. Rusev and fans rally for Hardy, and Hardy gets up. Hardy kicks and punches Joe, but Joe denies the Twist. Joe runs into the corner but into an elbow. Whisper in the Wind hits! Both men are down but fans fire up!
Hardy and Joe crawl for their corners as fans chant “Rusev Day!” Hot tag to Nakamura, then to Rusev! The Bulgarian Brute rallies on the Rockstar, and throws haymakers! Rusev whips and clobbers him at the ropes. Rusev scoops Nakamura to ram in his knee, then throws him with the Fall Away Slam! Nakamura gets to a corner but Rusev runs in for the back shoulder, and then the spinning heel kick! Fans fire up with Rusev as he stomps the mat. Nakamura slowly stands, and he elbows Rusev away. Rusev still lifts but Nakamura slips out. Nakamura swings but misses, Rusev’s roundhouse connects! Cover, but Joe breaks it. Hardy gives Joe the Twist of Fate!
Hardy follows after, and leaps off the apron! He wipes Joe out, but Nakamura runs at Rusev. Drop toehold, into the Accolade. Nakamura escapes to use his strike fest, then aims from a corner. But he runs into a MACHKA KICK instead! Cover, Rusev & hardy win!
Winners: Jeff Hardy & Rusev, Rusev pinning
The Bulgarian Brute pins the United States Champion! Will Rusev use this to launch back into the title scene? Will Hardy be able to render Joe’s mind games OBSOLETE?
Shane McMahon confronts The Miz backstage.
What is going on with him and the trophy? Paying competitors to attack Shane? Tricking an official into calling a match no one sanctioned? Miz is crossing a line. Miz admits it! But he won’t apologize. Shane’s instincts kicked in and won, just like he did at the World Cup! That kill-or-be-killed McMahon instinct! Miz has main evented Wrestlemania, has a film franchise and a reality TV series, but he’s never been considered Best in the World. Not until Shane came along. Miz offers a handshake, but Shane denies it. Miz is left hanging, will he give up this pursuit? Or will he only be all the more motivated?
Backstage interview with AJ Styles.
“The New Daniel Bryan” took the WWE Championship through underhanded means, but is Styles ready to take the title back? Styles is biding his time, because no one else wants to beat Bryan up more than he does. He’s counting the days, hours and minutes to TLC. This “new” Bryan isn’t that new. It’s more like “the real” Bryan. But there’s only one Phenomenal One, and that’s AJ Styles. Styles is ready for revenge, but will he get satisfaction on Sunday?
Charlotte Flair VS Asuka!
The Queen and the Empress are both ready for TLC’s first ever Women’s TLC match, that is also a triple threat with the champion, Becky Lynch. However, tonight is about a rematch from their epic SmackDown Women’s Championship Wrestlemania match! Will Charlotte be able to repeat history? Or will she find she’s no longer ready for Asuka?
SmackDown returns with a backstage interview from Charlotte. She’s days away from another historic first, but what about this amazing rematch? Charlotte knows what’s at stake. Asuka says she’s going to break Charlotte, but The Queen doesn’t break. The Queen breaks streaks. This will be a preview of how Charlotte will make them bow down to the Queen! The Queen makes her entrance, and we begin!
But wait, The Man promised to be ringside, and her she comes! Becky Lynch raises her belt all the way down the ramp and over to commentary where she takes her seat. The bell rings and Asuka and Charlotte turn their focus back on each other. Charlotte boots but misses, and Asuka puts on a waistlock. Asuka lifts but Charlotte fights out, only for Asuka to chop her back. Asuka runs, but her hip attack is caught! She still victory rolls through to a Kneebar! Charlotte scrambles around and stands up. She pries Asuka off and drives her down with a back suplex! Charlotte stands but Asuka follows. Charlotte CHOPS Asuka, and again. Asuka ducks the third to hit a German Suplex! Asuka fires up and runs, but Charlotte dodges the hip attack. Charlotte boots Asuka off the ropes, and takes a moment to catch her breath.
Fans echo the “WOO~!” as Charlotte brings herself over to a corner. Charlotte climbs up and moonsaults, but gets knees! And then flipped into the Asuka Lock! Charlotte scrambles more and gets up. Asuka holds on, but Charlotte makes it a backpack senton! Asuka grabs Charlotte again! Charlotte scrambles around but can’t get Asuka off. Charlotte roles to a ropebreak, and Asuka lets go at 4. This epic rematch continues after the break.
SmackDown returns once more, and the two are brawling on the mat! Charlotte and Asuka fire up with each hit and fans are dueling. Asuka hits, Charlotte hits, but Asuka gets an edge! Charlotte blocks, spins Asuka around, but Asuka switches to an octopus stretch! Charlotte endures as Asuka pulls back harder. Fans rally on both sides as Charlotte works against the hold. Charlotte pops Asuka up but Asuka makes it a crucifix driver! Cover, TWO! Fujiwara armbar outta nowhere! Charlotte struggles against it, but can’t get away. Becky seems unimpressed either way. Asuka wrenches back but Charlotte rolls through, only to end up in a triangle hold! Charlotte makes it a cover, ONE. She tries again, ONE! Charlotte rains rights then makes it a cover again, ONE.
Asuka fires palm strike while holding the hold. Charlotte deadlifts and powerbombs! Cover, TWO!! Charlotte almost had Asuka, but both women are down from exhaustion. Fans “WOO~” for Charlotte and cheer for Asuka as the two stir. Charlotte sits up first, and crawls over to Asuka. Asuka sits up and they both trash talk. Charlotte slaps Asuka as she says “You will never break me!” But Asuka gets the takedown, the jackknife, but Charlotte slips through to Figure Four! Asuka endures as Charlotte wrenches back. Asuka turns the hold over! The pressure reverses and now Charlotte endures! Charlotte scrambles to ropes and the two separate. Becky seems amused now. Asuka and Charlotte force themselves up, but Charlotte gets Asuka’s leg. Asuka endures the toehold, but Charlotte drives in elbows! Charlotte goes for another Figure Four but Asuka resists, so Charlotte drops a knee!
Fans duel as Asuka endures. Charlotte hammers away on Asuka, her frustration boiling over. Cover, TWO! Becky is again stoic as she watches Chalrotte drag Asuka over to a corner. Charlotte throws a leg into the post! She gives Becky a glare before she again throws Asuka’s leg against post. Charlotte then drags Asuka over, covers, TWO! She goes for the figure four, but Asuka cradles! TWO, and Charlotte CHOPS Asuka. And chops, and chops! Asuka blocks the next chop, and fireman’s carry takedown to kicks! Asuka runs, but Charlotte follows. Spear into a code breaker! Cover, TWO!! Asuka almost caught Charlotte there but this battle continues. Fans continue to duel as Asuka stands. Asuka kicks away on Charlotte, again and again and again, but then the buzzsaw is blocked. She still knocks the wind out of Charlotte, then fires off elbows from all sides!
Asuka kicks Charlotte in the face again and again, almost toying with her. She gives another shot then runs, but into a SPEAR!! Cover, TWO!? Asuka survives and Charlotte is surprised. Becky is stone faced, but on the edge of her seat. Charlotte flounders to her feet while Asuka stirs on the mat. Charlotte drags Asuka to a drop zone while fans duel. She climbs up top, moonsault! Asuka gets her feet up, but Charlotte saw it coming! Charlotte grabs the feet for a figure four, but Asuka sees that coming! Cradle to Asuka Lock!! Charlotte flairs but the hold is on deep! Asuka stays on Charlotte’s back, and they fall out of the ring! Charlotte resorts to a kendo stick! And she SMACKS Asuka!
Winner: Asuka, by disqualification
The Mad Queen returns as she swings wild! Charlotte gave Asuka the win, but The Man simply smirks as she looks at her battered competition. Becky goes to leave, but Charlotte SMACKS her in the back! Charlotte SMACKS away on Asuka, but Becky comes back with kicks! Becky throws Charlotte into the steps, then takes up the stick! She SMACKS Charlotte now! And again, and again! But Asuka attacks Becky! And throws her over the announce desk! Asuka picks up the stick for her own, and SMACKS Charlotte back! And Becky on the table, too! Asuka smacks everyone!! The Empress stands over The Queen and The Man, but will she stand tall as the Women’s Champion?!
SmackDown again has the superior main roster go-home! And oddly enough, that might be because they changed some things. Naomi and Mandy Rose were meant to spark a feud tonight, as started by social media, but perhaps there were factors beyond anyone’s control that cancelled that match. After all, this is a live show. But I do appreciate SmackDown at least wanted a midcard story going into TLC, it can’t always be about the title.
Moving on, Daniel Bryan’s opening promo was great. I knew he was going to pull that gag about “that’s an insult to [x]”. And it’s great for Mustafa Ali to be the one trying to get through to Bryan about his new behavior. For one, it’s just great that Cruiserweights are showing up on both main shows, and I hope this continues to some degree, in perhaps an effort to stop the isolation of the Division on 205 Live. Raw already has Lio Rush and the Lucha House Party, perhaps SmackDown can have stars like Ali, Noam Dar, or Cedric Alexander show up to give us some great matches. Bryan VS Ali was itself a great match and Ali looked strong even in losing.
I’m a little disappointed Bryan VS Styles won’t be a Chairs Match, but learning that Orton VS Mysterio gets that, that’s really great. Orton and Mysterio have been heading that way given the violent chair spots, and I am sure they’ll do the stipulation justice. But Mysterio standing tall tonight, I have a feeling that means Orton wins at TLC so his hunt for heroes can continue. The rap battle was great, from The Bar having a completely comedic routine to The Usos having a killer one. The Bar attack and manage to stand tall, but perhaps that, too, is a sign we get new champs at TLC. I feel that since The New Day already reached their five-time mark, The Usos will get another turn. And as great as these three teams are, I hope Usos becoming champs help shuffle challengers. SAnitY and The Club deserve second chances.
The Miz is definitely heading for a match with Shane, he just has to be. He goads Shane into a surprise match with jobbers, which actually helps cover up that Shane’s floatover DDT turned into a hungover DDT. I’m just wondering what he’ll have planned now that Shane seems firmly against #BestTeamintheWorld. Hardy & Rusev VS Joe & Nakamura was a really good match, and definitely builds things towards their respective blow-offs. However, it still feels too early to call who wins their respective feuds. It would be great if Rusev gets the US Championship back, he could use it after that detour with Aiden English. Hardy-Joe is also harder to decide, but Joe hasn’t won much lately so he could really use this one.
The SmackDown Women’s Championship scene is incredible right now. This Wrestlemania rematch tonight was amazing, and in the moment I was disappointed that it ended with a disqualification. But between the awesome brawl that happened between Charlotte, Asuka and Becky and how a disqualification keeps both women strong, I’m okay with it. The TLC Triple Threat is going to be off the charts, and it will definitely steal the show no matter where it is on the card. I’m hoping that if there is a new champion, it will be Asuka. The fans were so behind her, they have been behind her, and will be behind her even if she takes the title from Becky. The only other option fans will still be behind is if Becky retains, because otherwise Charlotte treads dangerous waters in her push.
My Score: 8.7/10
Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Live Results & Report! (3/26/19)
Kurt Angle brings his Farewell Tour to SmackDown!
SmackDown Women’s Champion, Asuka, still needs a challenger for Wrestlemania! Will she meet Naomi, Carmella, Mandy Rose or Sonya Deville in New York?
- Kurt Angle VS AJ Styles; wins.
- SmackDown Women’s Championship #1 Contender’s Fatal 4 Way: Naomi VS Carmella VS Mandy Rose VS Sonya Deville; wins and will challenge Asuka for the title at Wrestlemania.
PLAY BY PLAY
Mitchell’s WWE Monday Night Raw Results & Report! (3/25/19)
Kurt Angle’s Farewell Tour leads him to who!?
Raw grows wilder as Mania draws nearer! Will Ronda Rousey face any consequences? Will Roman Reigns accept Drew McIntyre’s challenge? Angle VS SAMOA JOE?!
- Beat the Clock Challenge: Ronda Rousey VS Sarah Logan; Rousey wins in 1:25.
- Beat the Clock Challenge: Charlotte Flair VS Ruby Riott; Flair fails the Beat the Clock Challenge.
- Beat the Clock Challenge: Becky Lynch VS Liv Morgan; Lynch wins in 1:18, and wins the challenge.
- WWE Intercontinental Championship Contender’s Handicap Match: Bobby Lashley & Lio Rush VS Finn Balor; changed to…
- WWE Intercontinental Championship Contender’s Handicap Match: Bobby Lashley w/ Lio Rush & Jinder Mahal w/ The Singh Brothers; Finn wins and will challenge Bobby Lashley for the title at Wrestlemania.
- Aleister Black & Ricochet VS The Revival; Black & Ricochet win.
- Sasha Banks w/ Bayley VS Natalya w/ Beth Phoenix; Banks wins, by disqualification.
- Baron Corbin VS Apollo Crews; Corbin wins.
- Kurt Angle VS Samoa Joe; Angle wins.
- Last Man Standing: Drew McIntyre VS Dean Ambrose; McIntyre wins.
PLAY BY PLAY
Beat the Clock Challenge: Ronda Rousey VS Sarah Logan!
The Raw Women’s Champion and her two Wrestlemania opponents will main event Wrestlemania! But that’s in a couple weeks. Tonight, there’s a lot of pride on the line as the Baddest Woman on the Planet divides up the Riott Squad with The Queen and The Man! Who will be the fastest winner on Raw to have bragging rights going into New York?
Before the match, Ronda picks up the mic. Boston wants Becky but they’ll have to hear the champ out first. “For the first time ever, women are going to be the main event at Wrestlemania!” The Raw Women’s Championship, Rousey VS Flair VS Lynch! And Ronda only has one thing left to say: “You’re welcome.” She throws down the mic, but then picks it back up to say something else. Not that the fans appreciate any of her words. Ronda vows to make Charlotte and Becky tap out at the same time! But just as she drops the mic, she picks it up again. She has no idea what this Beat the Clock Challenge is, it sound stupid, so let’s just get this farce over with. Now she’s done talking. Sarah Logan makes her way out and the challenge truly begins!
But wait! The Man makes sure to come out and say something herself! “It’s good to be back in Boston!” And Ronnie, stop being so weird. Ronda came here with her big money contract and the whole world yawned. Every opportunity, every advantage, the best of the best, and yet no one gave a damn until The Man came around! The fans know that the best thing to happen to Ronda is Becky! That’s why they’re the main event of Mania! And one more thing, Ronda knows how this ends: Ronda’s title above Becky’s head, and her own head beneath Becky’s boot.
But here comes The Queen, too! Charlotte has her own mic and just hears “Blah blah blah”. Yes, the women are the main event! But not because of Becky nor because of Ronda. It’s all because of what Charlotte’s done! That’s why she was handpicked to be the main event! Charlotte and Becky stand-by ringside while Ronda finally gets to her Beat the Clock Challenge with Sarah.
The bell rings and the timer starts counting while Sarah bails out! Ronda gives chase and Sarah keeps away from Ronda. Ruby and Liv try to block Ronda’s path but Ronda blasts through them. Sarah turns around and dropkicks Ronda down! Then she whips Ronda hard into ropes! Ronda clutches her arm while Sarah stomps away. Sarah grabs the legs and ties them up for an inverted cloverleaf! Ronda endures the leg hold as Sarah drags her away from the ropes! Ronda grits her teeth and sees the clock climb as she claws her way back. She gets the ropes but then climbs up and around to drag Sarah into a hanging armbar! She lets go at 4 but goes after Sarah with a SUPERWOMAN PUNCH! Ronda puts on the armbar and Sarah taps! Ronda wins!
Winner: Ronda Rousey, by submission, and in 1:25
The time has been set, will either Queen or Man be able to do better than the Baddest Woman on the Planet?
Charlotte steps into the ring and takes her turn.
Beat the Clock Challenge: Charlotte Flair VS Ruby Riott!
The bell rings and the time ticks down. Charlotte goes fast but Ruby dodges and dumps her out! Charlotte hurries back in and boots Ruby down. She CHOPS and CHOPS on Ruby, then gets a takedown. Ruby pushes Charlotte away and we hit the minute warning. Ruby kicks Charlotte on her return, then wrenches. Charlotte decks Ruby with a right! Then hits the backbreaker to STO! Charlotte has to hurry, but Ruby dodges Natural Selection! Ruby gets a complete shot! Cover, TWO!! Ruby just has to play defense with 20 seconds left. She grabs Charlotte’s arm and toys with her. Riott Kick, CAUGHT! Figure Four on, Figure Eight! Ruby holds on, time runs out!!
Charlotte fails the Beat the Clock Challenge
Ronda knew Charlotte wouldn’t, but now Becky wants her shot.
Beat the Clock Challenge: Becky Lynch VS Liv Morgan!
The Man is ready but the Juvenile Delinquent distracts her, and Charlotte BOOTS Becky in that distraction! The Queen takes her frustrations out on her, and then lets Liv do what she wants. Liv shouts for the bell and it rings. Liv fires off a mudhole stomp on Becky but backs off at 4 with shrill shrikes. She stomps Becky right back down then drags her to a cover, TWO! The Squad keeps Liv focused as she thrashes Becky around in a chinlock. Becky endures as we reach less than a minute. Boston rallies and Becky fights her way up. Becky arm-drags out then throws haymakers and European Uppercuts! Things speed up as Becky rallies! Calf kick at 30 seconds but Becky keeps going.
Becky wants the arm but Liv school boys Becky into buckles! Liv gets away with 15 seconds, but her code breaker is blocked! Jackknife cover, Becky wins!!
Winner: Becky Lynch, by pinfall
And with seven seconds to spare! Ronda doesn’t care, because what does this matter in a Triple Threat? But Becky still feels good that she did better than both Ronnie and Charlie. Will she feel great when she beats them both for the title?
WWE Intercontinental Championship Contender’s Handicap Match: Bobby Lashley & Lio Rush VS Finn Balor!
The Extraordinary Man managed to beat both the Almighty and the Man of the Hour in a situation like this before, but now he has to do it again to earn a title match at Wrestlemania. Lashley & Lio come out and Lio tells Finn’s Road to Wrestlemania goes through them. This is not a road Finn wants to be on. Finn could’ve quit while he’s ahead, but now he’ll be forced to leave the game as a hot piece of garbage, just like Gronkowski. Boston takes offense to that. But as much as Lio wants to be part of ending Finn’s dreams, it’s Braun Strowman’s fault that he’s not medically cleared to compete. But that’s okay, Lashley has a different tag team partner now: Jinder Mahal!
WWE Intercontinental Championship Contender’s Handicap Match: Bobby Lashley w/ Lio Rush & Jinder Mahal w/ The Singh Brothers!
The Modern Day Maharaja joins forces with the Rocky Mountain Machine! Will they leave Finn for dead on the side of the Road to Wrestlemania?
The bell rings and Lashley starts. Fans fire up for Finn as he ties up with Lashley. Lashley knees low then throws Finn to his corner. Lashley throws body shots then puts Finn in another corner for more body shots. He whips Finn corner to corner hard, but Finn dodges! Finn shoulders in but has to fight off Mahal and the Singh Brothers! Lio distracts and Lashley blasts Finn down! The deck is stacked for Finn as we go to break.
Raw returns and Finn fires forearms on Lashley. But Lashley shoves Finn back and tackles him into the corner! Lashley rams his shoulder in on Finn again and again but backs off at 4. Lashley goes corner to corner but Finn Slingblades him down! Mahal tags in and whips Finn. Finn reverses, Mahal sunset flips but Finn rolls through to dropkick Mahal down! Finn dodges Mahal and forearms Mahal into Lashley! Then he gets Mahal with the elbow drop DDT! Lashley returns but gets a takedown and double stomps! Finn clotheslines Mahal out! Finn builds speed but the Singhs swipe his feet! Mahal returns but Finn sends him out, to FLY! He hits EVERYONE! Finn puts Mahal in fast, then climbs up top! COUP DE GRACE!! Cover, Finn wins!
Winner: Finn Balor, by pinfall; NEW #1 Contender to the WWE Intercontinental Championship
He’s going to Wrestlemania! Lashley again loses because of who he teams with, but now it’ll be Finn and Lashley 1v1. Lashley takes his anger out on the Singhs, then SPEARS Mahal! Will Finn finally get the better of Bobby directly? Or will he get dominated by the Dominator on the Grandest Stage of Them All?
Ladies and Gentlemen: Elias.
The Drifter is already in New York, Times Square even. There have been many iconic stars performing on Broadway, but Elias will be bigger than them all! Times Square is buzzing to walk with Elias. Elias has gotten used to this, so he’ll play something for us. Wait, this other bearded guitarist wants in. Elias is a solo act. But typical New Yorkers: big ego, little talent. Go sell out a subway station, Elias has Mania to focus on. Will Elias really be the hit he thinks he is?
Aleister Black & Ricochet VS The Revival!
The Embodiment of the End and the King of Flight look to take over Tag Team wrestling in the WWE from NXT to the main roster. The Dusty Rhodes Classic isn’t quite over, but can this unexpected duo stake a claim for the Raw Tag Team Championships in time for Wrestlemania?
Forget the bell, it’s time to brawl! The moment Dash & Dawson hit the ring, Aleister & Ricochet start hitting them! Dash & Dawson turn things around and whip Aleister and Ricochet at each other, but Aleister gives Ricochet a boost to missile dropkick Dawson down! Aleister then throws forearms and kicks on Dash. Ricochet adds an enziguri and Dash cowers in his corner. Fans chant for “NXT! NXT!” as Aleister dares Dash to bring the fight. The bell rings and Dawson anchors Aleister’s feet! Dash fires off then tags in Dawson. The Revival mug Aleister then put him in an open corner. Dawson throws uppercuts then drags Aleister out for a hammerlock. Dawson brings Aleister to the mat but Aleister endures.
Fans rally as Aleister works his way up. Aleister powers his way towards his corner but Dawson throws body shots and forearms. Aleister roundhouses Dawson down then tags in Ricochet! The unexpected duo double whip then leap frog with Dawson, before Aleister sweeps the legs and Ricochet adds a basement dropkick! Dash runs in but is sent right back out! Aleister fakes The Revival out, but Ricochet gets them around the corner! Dash goes down but Dawson gets a Meteora! The #TopGuys are down on the ground while we go to break.
Raw returns and Dawson grinds his forearm in Ricochet’s face. Fans rally as Ricochet endures the seated abdominal stretch, then stands up and heads for his corner. Aleister reaches out to him but Dawson scoop slams Ricochet down. Dawson drops but misses the elbow, and again! Dash tags in as Ricochet rolls to the apron. Ricochet shoulders in then slingshots, but into Dash’s arms! Dash and Dawson combine for an assisted brain buster! Cover, TWO! Ricochet survives and The Revival grows frustrated. Dash drags Ricochet over but Ricochet throws forearms. Dash knees low then Dawson tags back in. Dawson stomps and toys with Ricochet, then whips. Ricochet kicks Dawson down, but Dash tags in. Dash runs over but Ricochet dodges to get him with a neckbreaker!
Ricochet and Dash are down but crawling for their corners. Dash tags Dawson, Ricochet tags Aleister! Aleister rallies on The Revival! Aleister sweeps the legs to drive in the knee! Dash returns, but The Revival get a double quebrada! Aleister throws Dash out then goes after Dawson. Dawson punches but gets a strike fest! Another swift knee, cover, TWO! Aleister keeps his focus as he stalks Dawson. He lifts Dawson with his foot but Dash drags Ricochet off the apron! Aleister goes after Dash but Dawson sunset flips! TWO, and both men dodge. Dawson fakes Aleister out for a DDT! Cover, but Ricochet breaks it! Dash shoves Aleister out and The Revival double whips. Ricochet tags in and Aleister goes up and over. Aleister hits a DOUBLE Black Mass?! Ricochet hits his 630! Cover, Ricochet & Aleister win!
Winners: Aleister Black & Ricochet, Ricochet pinning
The Revival miscalculate and now NXT’s air strike has another victory! But The Revival are quick to point out they’re still the champions. Will the #TopGuys have to put those titles on the line at Wrestlemania against the Dutch Destroyer and the One and Only?
Drew McIntyre is here!
The Scottish Terminator vows to destroy The Shield one by one! He made his challenge to Roman Reigns last week, will he get his answer? We find out, after the break.
Raw returns and McIntyre has a mic. “I don’t give a damn if you like me, but you will respect me.” McIntyre says a week is a long time to wait for an answer. He’s actually a little nervous, and Roman might still be unsure what to say. So McIntyre will share some footage, and wants us to know that he could’ve finished Roman any time but didn’t. The footage is as expected, McIntyre attacking Roman Reigns from out of nowhere and kicking his head into a post. Then last week, McIntyre challenged Roman to a match but actually wants Roman to say “No” because of how badly McIntyre will beat him at Wrestlemania.
Now in the present, McIntyre really hopes Roman’s family members got through his thick skull to say no. McIntyre “exterminated” the roach, Dean Ambrose. And then last week, McIntyre beat the #1 Contender, Seth Rollins! McIntyre is sure what the superstar, Roman Reigns, wants and that is “Yes”! But McIntyre appeals to Joe Anoa’i, the man, husband and father. Hasn’t his family been through enough? “Think of your children!” They already watched Daddy fight for his life once. Do they really have to go through that again at Wrestlemania when they know it’s a losing battle? Fans chant for Roman, and McIntyre says he’ll wait all night if he has to. But Roman Reigns appears now!
Roman goes to the ring and grabs himself a mic. Roman and McIntyre stare down, and Roman says he accepts the challenge. But listen very closely to what Joe has to say. “Don’t you ever run your mouth about my wife and kids.” Roman fires off haymakers! He gets McIntyre down and then throws him into a post! McIntyre tumbles out but Roman’s still on him with big uppercuts. Roman throws him into barriers, then back into the ring. Fans are fired up as Roman walks over, but McIntyre low blow uppercuts Roman back! McIntyre drags himself to a corner while Roman gasps and sputters. McIntyre aims with a glare as Roman stands. CLAYMORE! Referees appear and get McIntyre to leave, but the damage is done. Will Roman get his revenge at Wrestlemania?
Drew McIntyre spots Dean Ambrose backstage.
“What did you call me out there? A cockroach?” McIntyre “exterminated” him? Doesn’t feel that way. So how about another try tonight? Ambrose VS McIntyre, Last Man Standing!! McIntyre does not know how Ambrose is standing now. But he promises Ambrose won’t be standing after tonight. Is Ambrose trying to get himself killed?!
Sasha Banks w/ Bayley VS Natalya w/ Beth Phoenix!
This match didn’t quite finish last week since Nia Jax & Tamina interfered. But now The Boss of Boston and the Queen of Harts will have it out! Can Natty punch a Wrestlemania title match ticket for the Divas of Doom?
The bell rings and Sasha and Natty tie up. Natty puts Sasha on the ropes but backs off to slap her! Sasha slaps back! Then goes acrobatic for an arm-drag! Sasha blocks and arm-drags Natty again, then grins as she circles with Natty again. Natty blocks a kick and throws Sasha down, to then hook the legs for a Surfboard! Natty holds Sasha high overhead, but Sasha endures as Boston cheers her on. Sasha slips free and rolls out, then hits a basement meteora! Cover, TWO! Sasha keeps her cool while she drags Natty up. Natty rolls Sasha up, TWO! Natty brings Sasha up but Sasha sunset flips, only for Natty to block to the Sharpshooter! Sasha fights out and shoves Natty all the way out!
Beth keeps Bayley at bay while Sasha fetches Natty. Natty throws hands, then throws Sasha at the apron. Sasha spins around and headscissors Natty down! Then a knee into the barriers! Sasha leaves Natty behind while we go to break.
Raw returns and Natty has Sasha in a Canadian torture rack. Sasha endures as Bayley and Boston rally for her. Natty keeps up the pressure but Sasha slips out to a sunset flip! Cover, TWO, but Sasha blocks a kick to give a kick! Sasha runs and wheelbarrows, but Natty sits Sasha down! Natty then walks over Sasha, but gets tripped! Sasha gets the Bank Statement crossface! Natty reaches, crawls, but rolls Sasha away to a Sharpshooter!! Sasha endures now, reaches for the ropes, but Natty drags her away! Sasha finds a second wind and rolls Natty into a corner! Bayley and Boston are relieved, but the Samoan Dynasty attacks again! They get Bayley, then rush the ring! SUPERKICK for Sasha!
Winner: Sasha Banks, by disqualification
The Glamazon rushes the ring to tackle Tamina! And she throws hands on Nia! Fireman’s carry, but Tamina saves Nia. Beth still fights and runs Nia over! She deflects the Superkick to fire off on Tamina! She gets the chicken wings, for the Glam Slam! Natty regroups with Beth and they hold the ring! Fans let Beth know “You Still Got It!” Not only that, but Beth still wants it! She wants tag title gold with her fellow Diva of Doom! Will the Boss & Hug Connection have legendary opponents for Wrestlemania? And what of the Samoan Dynasty? Or the IIconics?
The WWE reveals the newest Hall of Fame inductees: The Hart Foundation!
Bret Hart and Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart were the Best There Is, Best There Was, and the Best There Ever Will Be in tag team wrestling. It means so much to the Hart Family, especially Natalya, that The Anvil is finally going in!
Backstage interview with Kurt Angle!
The Olympic Gold Medalist continues the Farewell Tour against Samoa Joe! Why such a tough challenge this close to Wrestlemania? Angle appreciates Joe for coming over from SmackDown for the night. And this tour is about retiring on his terms. Angle promises to be ready for Baron Corbin, and Joe will be his greatest test yet. But Corbin comes over and chuckles. Corbin appreciates watching this farewell tour. How many years has Angle been around? How old is he? Does he realize the fans are cheering not because he’s a great competitor, but because they feel sorry for him? Considering he’s half the man he used to be. Corbin promises the news after Mania will be “Former Gold Medalist tarnishes his career”. Angle simply tells Corbin, “Screw you.” Will Angle show Corbin he’s still good enough when going against the United States Champion?
Backstage interview with The Boss & Hug connection.
Clearly the Women’s Tag Team division is heating up. Nia and Tamina keep attacking, The IIconics won last week, and- Sasha says they vowed to take on anyone, anywhere, anytime! So how about all three teams at Wrestlemania?! A Fatal 4 Way!? Are the inaugural champions going to become former champions in New York?
It’s time for another Moment of Bliss!
The Goddess doesn’t sit on stage, she heads right for the ring. Will she be able to reconcile the Monster Among Men and Saturday Night Live’s Colin Jost?
Raw returns as Alexa sits on her set in the ring. “Welcome to A Moment of Bliss.” Alexa isn’t sure what it is, but since becoming the host, the Wrestlemania card gets better and better. The women are main eventing now! Is she good or what? But Alexa is at a crossroads, because with two weeks left, she feels like her moment and her reputation are in jeopardy. She shares footage of when Colin Jost put his foot in his mouth when he mouthed off to Strowman. Strowman put his hands around Colin’s throat and almost choked the man out. Then when Colin tried to apologize with a car, Strowman ripped the car apart! “That looks like a recipe for a public relations disaster.” So Alexa hopes this becomes A Moment of Healing. First, The Monster Among Men himself, BRAUN!
Strowman storms out to the ring and shakes hands with Alexa before taking a seat. Alexa welcomes Strowman and knows what happens when Strowman’s temper gets the best of him. Strowman’s flipped an ambulance with Roman Reigns inside, yanked down the stage on top of Brock Lesnar, and utterly destroyed one of Vince McMahon’s limousines. “Sure did.” Then what would happen if Michael Che and Colin Jost were to #GetThoseHands? The saying goes, “It’s the thought that counts.” Jost got him that tiny little convertible, Strowman thought about smashing Jost’s face in. Thank you for sharing your feelings, because that is the first step in the healing process. The next is listening, because via satellite, Michael and Colin!
Michael and Colin say hi, and Colin tries to compliment Strowman. Colin admits he made a mistake in Philly. He won’t put on a Mets hat, he’ll put on a Yankees hat. Boston hates that. Michael says that as a lifelong fan of the WWE, and even of Strowman, Michael respects Strowman. But Strowman also responded badly when he went after Colin. Colin may not be funny, but he’s a good guy. Colin wants to be a mentor, sincerely. He went to Harvard. His parents paid millions of dollars to get him on the Women’s Cross Country Team. Wait… Well, anyway, Colin can definitely teach Strowman how to eat, or how to read, or how to do his taxes.
And Colin knows Strowman is big and strong at 5’11” and 180 pounds, but they can talk this out. Michael says this isn’t how to do it. Colin sent him a car! Strowman, consider therapy! Or at least pay Colin back, with interest, and get him an autograph from Brock Lesnar. Or maybe they won’t go to Wrestlemania! Fans don’t care but Alexa can’t let that happen. Strowman has an idea. Michael said someone needs to take care of this, one way or another. Strowman goes with “option number three.” If Colin wants to make this right, he’ll get in the Andre the Giant Battle Royal! No way! He’s not- Listen up, smart guy! Get in the battle royal or Strowman will find you when you’re all alone! Michael accepts for Colin! WHAT?!
Listen, there’s a chance Colin will get hurt in the Battle Royal, but he will DEFINITELY be dead if this happens backstage. Michael promises Colin will be in that match and Michael will correspond alone. Colin says Michael’s the real WWE fan so he’s in, too! Colin starts a chant, but Strowman tells him to shut up. Can Alexa make this happen? As the host of Wrestlemania, she can’t do this for Strowman’s blood-lust. Michael breathes a sigh of relief, but Alexa was just kidding. This is happening! And if Michael and Colin no-show, they’ll be wondering for the rest of their lives when they’ll #GetTheseHands!
Elias is still in New York.
The Drifter has made his way to Madison Square Garden, “the world’s most famous arena.” Now it’s not Boston’s Garden, because that houses a bunch of slobs. Elias has sold this place out three times already, more than Billy Joel ever cold. Elias is given change? Does this city have no idea who he is?!
Baron Corbin VS Apollo Crews!
“Boston’s Favorite Son” is apparently anything but that, as he has every other accolade of his listed. But will he at least redeem himself from last week’s quick defeat?
Raw returns and Apollo rolls Corbin up! TWO, but Apollo mule kicks and sunset flips. TWO, and now Apollo crucifix, TWO! Apollo dropkicks Corbin to a corner then baits Corbin in. Corbin slides out then in but into a dropkick! Corbin staggers and Apollo clotheslines him out! Apollo hits the moonsault off the apron, then runs back in, only for Corbin to toss him into the post! Corbin refreshes the count to drag Apollo up and throw him into barriers. He puts Apollo back in the ring then shoves him into buckles. Corbin lifts and tosses Apollo down! Cover, TWO! Corbin argues with the ref, but then points to the Wrestlemania sign to taunt fans that he’s still going, whether we like it or not.
Corbin drags Apollo up but Apollo clotheslines him back! Apollo baits Corbin into the corner again, then enziguris him down! Apollo climbs and leaps, frog splash! Cover, TWO!! Corbin survives and gets to a corner. He puts Apollo on the apron but Apollo shoulders in. Apollo slingshots and runs, but into End of Days! Cover, Corbin wins!
Winner: Baron Corbin, by pinfall
The Lone Wolf has redeemed himself, but this is far from satisfactory. He drags Apollo up for another End of Days! Corbin grins and applauds, but will he be feeling good after facing Kurt Angle at Mania?
Seth Rollins is here!
The Architect, Mr. Royal Rumble 2019, goes to the ring and grabs a mic. Boston is ready to “Slay The Beast!” so Rollins cuts to the chase. Brock Lesnar and Seth Rollins are not cut from the same cloth. The two roads that meet at Wrestlemania could not be any different. But there is only one road out, and it will be forged with the Universal Championship and by the man who will define the WWE’s future. It will either be Rollins or Lesnar, “and that’s really heavy.” But Rollins wants to carry that burden! Rollins wants to be a champion who inspires people. The champions who inspired Rollins were Shawn Michaels, Bret Hart, Ric Flair, Triple H, and even John Cena. But Brock Lesnar does not inspire people.
It goes without saying that this will be Rollins’ biggest match yet. Rollins has wanted it for a long time, but until recently, he didn’t realize how much it means to the fans. Rollins did a meet ‘n’ greet and everyone who came up to him, regardless of who they were, they all said the same thing. Fans chant “Burn It Down!” and “Slay The Beast!” and Rollins says it was something like that. “Please beat Lesnar at Wrestlemania.” Rollins promised he’ll do everything he can to stop Lesnar, but now he has no choice. He MUST beat Brock Lesnar! Rollins refuses to let Lesnar be the champion that defines this company! In 13 days, Rollins will stand up to the bully that is The Beast.
And what Lesnar doesn’t understand is that with an army behind Rollins, he WILL be unstoppable! Together, they will march to Suplex City and #BURN IT- “Ladies and Gentlemen!” The Advocate, Paul Heyman, is here in Boston to say, “Thank you.” Heyman thanks Rollins for letting him know that the match is now a “Handicap Match”. It’ll be the reigning, defending, undisputed Universal Heavyweight Champion, BROCK LESNAR VS Seth Rollins & The WWE Universe. Heyman likes Lesnar’s odds, because Rollins’ chances of winning are zero. “Do you know how pathetic you sound, Seth?” Rollins needs the fans’ love, support and affirmation? Or perhaps their thoughts and prayers? Heyman mocks other requests for thoughts and prayers, but especially Rollins needing help not being beaten and victimized by Lesnar.
Heyman says Rollins needs those thoughts and prayers, because Rollins doesn’t have a thought on how to defeat Lesnar, nor a prayer in doing so. This isn’t personal, but when Lesnar does win, Rollins needs to take it personally when he and the WWE Universe fail at Wrestlemania. Heyman tosses the mic but Rollins chases him up the ramp! Rollins scares Heyman and Heyman suddenly says he’s just saying this because Lesnar wanted him to. Rollins laughs. This isn’t about getting thoughts and prayers, this is about answering them. “We are going to Wrestlemania! We are going to beat Brock Lesnar!” And WE are going to BURN IT DOWN!! Rollins carries the banner for the fans, but will he plant the flag in Suplex City’s ashes?
Kurt Angle makes his way out, and the “You Suck!” turns to Heyman. The Olympic Gold Medalist brings the Farewell Tour to Boston, but will it continue to be successful on the Road to Wrestlemania?
Kurt Angle VS Samoa Joe!
Angle and the Samoan Submission Machine have met before, but they’ll have their first and last match in the WWE in Boston! Will Angle win over the WWE United States Championship? Or will Joe tuck Angle in and make him go to sleep before ever making it to Wrestlemania?
Raw returns as Samoa Joe makes his entrance. Joe has a mic and asks Angle to forgive him. He forgot his bouquet of flowers to give to him. And though Joe knows the “scumbag New England mouth-breathers want it”, it’ll be a cold day into Hell before Angle can just ride off into the sunset. This is Wrestlemania Season, and stars around the world are getting ready for the big night. For Angle’s last night in Boston, Joe has a special gift. A good night’s sleep is very important, and Joe couldn’t think of a better way to say good-bye than putting Angle out once and for all. The bell rings and this very tense good-bye match begins!
Joe and Angle stare down, and then Joe headbutts Angle down! Joe stomps away on Angle, then stands him up for those swift jabs! Angle counter punches but Joe rakes his eyes! Joe brings Angle out and snap suplexes, but barely gets Angle over. Angle gets to a corner but Joe throws more hands. Fans rally behind Angle and he gets a waistlock on Joe! Joe elbows him off and snapmares him for stomps! Joe dropkicks Angle in the back, but Angle comes back with haymakers. Angle gets Joe on the ropes but Joe dumps Angle out, to DIVE! Joe bulldozes Angle into barriers and we go to break.
Raw returns and Angle fights his way out of Joe’s sleeper hold. Angle runs but Joe runs him over! Joe taunts Angle as he sits up. Joe puts him in the corner and trash talks before throwing more hands and CHOPS! Angle staggers away and Joe headbutts. Joe throws more jabs then brings Angle out for forearms. Joe runs but Angle ducks to German Suplex! Angle holds on for a second German Suplex! And then the hat trick! Cover, TWO! Angle gets back up and stalks Joe, but Joe fights out of the Angle Slam. Angle kicks but runs into an atomic drop. Joe boots and back sentons! Cover, TWO!! Angle lives and Joe is livid, but Joe keeps his eyes on Angle as he gets to a corner. Angle dodges Joe in the corner, ANGLE SLAM! Cover, TWO!! Joe survives and Angle can’t believe it.
Angle fires up and goes for the ankle! Joe pushes him away, then gets up, to catch Angle for a powerslam! Cover, TWO!! Angle barely escapes but Joe keeps his focus. Joe puts Angle in a corner and on the top rope. Joe wants the Buster but Angle pushes him away. Angle hits a missile dropkick! The straps come down and Angle stalks Joe again. Angle lifts but Joe slips out to fire forearms and headbutts. Joe grabs Angle but Angle arm-drags him away. Angle rocks Joe with a right but runs into the sleeper! Joe squeezes and Angle fades, but fans give him a second wind! Angle rolls Joe to a cover, Angle wins!
Winner: Kurt Angle, by pinfall
The Farewell Tour wins by the skin of Angle’s teeth! Joe is shocked, will he be able to snap back before facing Rey Mysterio at Wrestlemania? And what of Angle going over to SmackDown to face the Phenomenal AJ Styles?
Triple H is here!
The world heard what The Animal, Dave Batista, had to say about why he wants one more match at Wrestlemania, but now we hear The Game’s response, after the break.
Raw returns and HHH can’t believe the fans were giving an ovation that entire commercial break. It really was, trust him. But first thing’s first, congrats to the Raw Women’s Championship match for being THE main event at Wrestlemania. Congrats to them and all the women of WWE, past, present and future, because this was not given, it was earned. That’s the kind of thing that makes HHH happy. Just like coming out and realizing this mic is dry, unlike the one Batista spit all over. But some things upset HHH, like this thing buried in his pocket. He presents an envelope and a letter from Batista’s attorney. The letter states that Batista will not be competing at Wrestlemania after all. Unless HHH agrees to another stipulation.
This letter goes on and on, Batista says a lot of things like his recent realization that HHH started Evolution to protect himself. Really? Just figured that out 13 years later? Batista also realized that the moon isn’t made of cheese, so a big week for him. Batista also believes Evolution did nothing for him, except before then, he was just The Deacon following Reverend D-Von around. And then after Evolution, he was a world champion. Batista also believes HHH had an obsession that kept Batista down. Yet six world title reigns later, Batista quit when he couldn’t beat John Cena. Batista also thinks HHH kept Batista away from here, because HHH just refused to return his phone calls. HHH called Batista, but Batista’s manager said they should move Wrestlemania’s date to accommodate Batista’s shooting schedules.
But when the letter finally gets to Batista’s stipulation, as HHH will read now to properly reflect Batista’s feelings… “If you would like me to appear then at Wrestlemania, you will give me what I want. What I really, really want. I’ll tell you what I want, what I really, really want.” This goes on and on for pages! But the bottom line, Batista wants HHH’s career on the line. If Batista wins at Wrestlemania, HHH will never compete in the ring again. HHH tells “Dave” that he beat up a 70 year old man a year after being on his deathbed, all just to get a match at Mania. HHH agreed to that match, 75 THOUSAND people, and yet Batista still demands something. This is just another attempt by Batista to quit. HHH will not let Batista quit. He will make Batista stand up to his commitment.
Batista believes HHH is obsessed with Batista? HHH doesn’t give a crap about him! The only thing HHH is obsessed with is kicking Batista’s ass. And at this point in their careers, if HHH cannot beat a “self-deluded douchebag”, then he has no business being in the ring. If Batista wants HHH’s career on the line, “you’ve got it.” The Game plays Batista’s game, but will Batista regret even wanting to play?
Elias makes quite the haul.
“New York recognizes talent.” Elias has always felt that way. There’s maybe $2000 in his guitar case. New York is the greatest city in the world, so long as Elias is here. Elias will leave no doubt that there is one universal truth. And that is… you need to watch your money. A pickpocket gets away with some of Elias’ tips, but Elias will make way more than that at Wrestlemania. And then no one will doubt that WWE truly stands for #WalkWithElias. The pickpocket comes back to take the entire guitar case!
Last Man Standing: Drew McIntyre VS Dean Ambrose!
The Scottish Terminator thought he had terminated the Lunatic once and for all, but it seems even a Claymore off the stage wasn’t enough. Will Ambrose get payback for himself in such an extreme match? Or will McIntyre be the only one standing on the Road to Wrestlemania?
Raw returns once again as McIntyre makes his entrance. Ambrose is raring to go but the referee has him wait. The bell rings and Ambrose fires off! Ambrose punches and stomps McIntyre in a corner but McIntyre fights his way back out. McIntyre CHOPS Ambrose, then drags him up to CHOP again. McIntyre drags Ambrose up but Ambrose dodges to fire forearms. Ambrose whips but McIntyre reverses. Ambrose kicks and dumps McIntyre out. The Lunatic climbs up top and leaps but misses his Lunatic Elbow! McIntyre watches Ambrose as the count begins. The count climbs to 5 before Ambrose drags himself up. Ambrose stands at 8, but McIntyre is on him with a swinging slam into barriers! Ambrose is down again while we go to one last break.
Raw returns once again, and Ambrose headbutts McIntyre off the top rope. Ambrose adjusts and leaps but into a kendo stick SMASH! McIntyre SMACKS Ambrose more, then digs the stick’s bare tip into Ambrose’s face! McIntyre lets up to SMACK Ambrose against the ropes. The stick is splintered and McIntyre holds it up proudly. McIntyre dares Ambrose to stand back up, but Ambrose ducks and clotheslines McIntyre out! Ambrose builds speed and DIVES! Direct hit sends McIntyre into the barriers! They’re both down as the count begins. The count passes 5 but Ambrose is right up. McIntyre stands, too, but Ambrose throws hands. The Glasgow Kiss rocks Ambrose! McIntyre, bleeding from his back, brings Ambrose under the ring, to catapult guillotine him into the steel frame!
The referee counts on Ambrose but Ambrose is stirring. He stands at 5, but McIntyre has the steel steps! McIntyre rams Ambrose down! The referee counts again as Ambrose sputters and crawls. Ambrose forces himself up at 7! But McIntyre puts him back in the ring. McIntyre takes a chair from the timekeeper’s area and brings it into the ring. He wedges it in the corner and throws Ambrose. Ambrose slides to a stop and baits McIntyre in! McIntyre meets chair! DIRTY DEEDS! The count begins on McIntyre, but the Terminator stands at 8! Ambrose boots him back down then rains down rights! Ambrose hurries to fetch a TABLE! He sets it up in the corner to the liking of the fans. McIntyre manages to stand, and tackles Ambrose through the table!!
Fans lose their minds as the count begins again. McIntyre glares at Ambrose as Ambrose crawls from the wreckage. The count passes 5, then 7, and Ambrose stands at 9! CLAYMORE!! McIntyre knocks Ambrose right back down, and the count begins again. Ambrose slowly sits up but McIntyre looms over him. The count hits 10, McIntyre wins!
Winner: Drew McIntyre
The Terminator steps on Ambrose like the roach he called him. Will McIntyre do the same to Roman Reigns at Wrestlemania?
Wrestlemania’s growing closer, but it seems Raw is slowing down. There was literally no need for the Beat the Clock Challenge tonight, and certainly not if someone other than Ronda was going to win it. Granted, the fans loved seeing Becky beat Ronda’s time, and it is something Becky can brag about in the two weeks left, but what does any of this do? The announcement that the three of them are THE main event should’ve been enough. They can talk, take credit, all of that, but there’s no need for matches like this at this point in time. For that matter, not even sure about next week having a Six Woman Tag where they join forces against Riott Squad. Pretty sure there will be dysfunction, and yet also a way where The Riott Squad still loses. This build’s homestretch just hit a speed bump.
I’m not entirely sure why Vince insists Finn has to beat everyone other than Lashley to prove he’s worthy of the title. I suppose it’s great for Lashley, but Mahal being dragged in was obviously so Lashley could lose without taking the pin. Finn VS Lashley, actually going 1v1, is still going to be good, and I’m still hoping Finn finally gets that win on Lashley directly to put this to bed. Elias’ New York promos were great, but especially the last one. I wonder if his greatest performance, aka greatest interruption, will actually be bigger than Jeff Jarrett now… Aleister & Ricochet are doing great, though at the cost of The Revival. I have a bad feeling that if Aleister & Ricochet are going for main roster tag titles at Wrestlemania, that means The Forgotten Sons win the Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic!!
So glad to see The WWE Women’s Tag Team Championship Fatal 4 Way IS happening! At the same time, Bayley seeing some of the Samoan sneak attack coming was good, because it really should’ve been obvious. This also gave Beth a great moment for herself to confirm that she’s coming back for this match. I still feel like it’s between Boss & Hug retaining or the IIconics taking the belts to SmackDown. SmackDown really needs to work on their Women’s Roster overall, so I’m leaning towards Boss & Hug retaining in a big way. The Strowman celebrity angle is starting to be like screeching brakes on the Road to Wrestlemania. For what it’s worth, everyone is properly selling the dialogue, it just seems weird that Colin and Michael will be in the Andre the Giant Battle Royal. I really hope Strowman still wins it all, that’s the only way to salvage this.
Corbin VS Crews was alright, but it’s probably one of the things that makes the most sense tonight. Corbin needed to keep himself afloat or he really would look like the wrong choice for Angle’s farewell match at Mania. Of course, the Farewell Tour is still hitting the right notes. Angle VS Joe was a bit slow at the start but it got going, and naturally Angle wins. It actually helps both stories, Angle’s and Joe’s, that the win was a quick pin and not a finisher. It’s good to push Angle not quite being in his prime, to bring concern that he might not beat Corbin. And for Joe, it seems quick pins are becoming his weakness as this happened when Mysterio pinned him. Also good to know Angle VS Styles and Angle VS Mysterio are coming, those are going to be great for the Farewell Tour, too.
As for Ambrose constantly getting beat by McIntyre, I can’t be sure the reason other than to boost McIntyre. Roman’s brawl with McIntyre was good, and I suppose it makes sense for McIntyre to stand tall thanks to dirty tactics. McIntyre VS Ambrose was good, but the commercial interruption and the shortness overall kept it from being great. If the Beat the Clock Challenge wasn’t a thing, all of that match time could’ve gone to this. Perhaps this is not only to boost McIntyre, but to make it seem less and less likely Ambrose will even be able to help Roman at Wrestlemania. Rollins had a great promo with Heyman tonight, but there’s no guarantees he actually will #SlayTheBeast. It might only be Roman having a good night at Wrestlemania at this point.
My Score: 7.7/10
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(NOAH) WEEKLY NEWSLETTER VOL.28 ~ 24TH MARCH 2019