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Impact Coverage

Andrew’s Impact Wrestling Ratings & Analysis 4/19/2019

Impact Wrestling’s penultimate show leading toward Rebellion! Andrew goes through the show and lends his analysis! How was the show?

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Impact Wrestling’s penultimate show leading toward Rebellion! Andrew goes through the show and lends his analysis!

Scarlett and Fallah debut as a tag team today! Tessa and Gail’s story continues to bubble up and Eddie Edwards & Eli Drake get their shots at the Tag Team titles!

The whole oVe story and Rich Swann continues as Tommy Dreamer apparently is getting sacrificed to Madman Fulton. Are we about to watch a murder?

 

Ratings:

  • Scarlett Bordeaux & Fallah Bahh vs Desi Hit Squad: Scarlett wins via Tandem Banzai Drop – * 1/2
  • Moose vs Dez: Dez wins via Body Scissors Cradle – ** 1/4
  • Madman Fulton vs Tommy Dreamer: Fulton wins via Lifting Reverse STO – ** 1/2
  • Madison Rayne vs Taya Valkyrie: Rayne wins via Roll-Up – N/A
  • IMPACT Tag Team Titles: Eddie Edwards & Eli Drake vs Lucha Bros (c): Lucha Bros retain via Spike Fear Factor – ***

 

Analysis:

Okay let’s be serious for a minute. This wasn’t a great match, but it was entertaining. The crowd enjoyed singing along to Scarlett’s music, Fallah did most of the work since the Hit Squad didn’t want to interact with Scarlett at first. Amusing spot was after Raj got hit with a Stink Face from Scarlett, Rohit pulled him out and sat in the corner asking for the Scarlett Stink Face. They pulled the bait and switch since she told him to close his eyes. Scarlett jumps on Fallah’s back and Tandem Banzai drop with Scarlett pinning Raj was the finish. It was amusing, not a great match, but told a story and was entertaining.

A couple backstage segments with Lucha Bros and Eli & Eddie hyping the tag match. Eddie is still imbalanced singing “We are the three best friends” song, of course referencing Kenny the kendo stick as the third.

The final leg of Moose’s revenge against the Rascalz. Moose took the match lightly, and controlled the majority of the match. Lawn Darting Dez into the corner was cool. Hell Dez tried to do a Dragonrana on the outside, Moose caught him smooth as butter and then smashed his head into the steps, before throwing him into the other Rascalz. After rolling him back in, the other Rascalz get involved for the first time and allow Dez to roll through with a Body Scissors into a Cradle.

After the match we see Rosemary and Kiera Hogan arguing. Kiera says as long as there’s two of them, two of them will fight Su Yung. So Rosemary proceeds to beat the crap out of Kiera and choke her with the chain leash that held the Bunny before she was killed in the Undead Realm. Yes, I know what I just wrote.

GWN Flashback Match: Tag Team Title 5150 Street Fight: LAX vs OGz, Slammiversary 7/22/2018

After the flashback we get a decent length segment of Tessa going to one of Robert Irvine’s restaurants where she runs down Gail, says she’s most famous for screwing a famous chef. Then she proceeds to terrorize different people all while looking for Robert Irvine. She doesn’t find him, has some interesting lines, and she sells things well. Not everyone acts well in the segment, but it wasn’t completely awful. A few amusing moments.

Not really sure why Madman and Dreamer are in a non-Hardcore match. It’s an alright match. Dreamer gets most of his offense in when Fulton takes too long to go to his next move. After hitting the DDT, Dreamer goes out to get a kendo stick…in a normal match, misses and Fulton hits a Reverse Lifting STO (think Corbin’s End of Days). Not sure what Fulton is calling it, but that was the end. Then a brawl between oVe and the rest of Dreamer’s little rag tag team of Willie Mack and Rich Swann.

Taya ran down Canada, said she wasn’t gonna do the match, but Madison jumped her before she could leave. Then after surviving the initial flurry, Taya tries to powder out, but Jordynne Grace throws her back in. Taya is mad and distracted, School Girl Roll-Up. So nothing to rate, but I guess this is comeuppance for one half of the douchey championship couple.

Interesting match even though it felt to be less than 10 minutes long. Lucha Bros start fast and spotty, but eventually Eddie and Eli slow it down. LAX tries to cost Lucha Bros the match, but they fail. Eddie tries to throw Kenny to Eli, but Eli misses. Eddie gets wiped out and they pin Eli with the Spike Fear Factor. Afterwards Eli turns on Eddie and beats him with Kenny.

 

Overall Score: 6/10

Above average. Not a bad show, but it definitely felt like an episode to try and put more focus on the smaller stories. Lance Storm getting involved in the main event story does add a little more star power. Given that D’Amore insulted Cage before the confrontation, it makes me wonder where management’s feelings lie.

So again, the show wasn’t exactly a blow away, but there were plenty of entertaining moments. Ideally next week should finish the hype for Rebellion, and I’m really hoping Rebellion returns to the good wrestling form that Redemption and Slammiversary had last year.


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Andrew’s IMPACT Victory Road Results & Match Ratings: 9.23.2022

Victory Road is the last speed bump before Bound for Glory! Main Event promises to be a bloody mess with Barbed Wire Massacre!

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Victory Road is here and we’ve got an interesting card on the docket. Delirious challenges Mike Bailey for the X Division Championship, Triple Threat Revolver number one contender match for the X Division, Barbed Wire Massacre and a few higher profile bouts without a huge gimmick.

Mickie James takes on her first real opponent, Gisele Shaw, during this “Last Rodeo” tour she’s doing. Killer Kelly also gets a somewhat legit opponent in Tasha Steelz. We also get Masha’s choice in the Pick Your Poison angle. Max the Impaler will take on Jordynne Grace, as a way to soften up the champion for Masha before Bound for Glory.

So let’s see how this show shakes out!

Results:

  • Tasha Steelz w/Savannah Evans vs Killer Kelly: No Contest? – **
  • X Division Championship: Speedball Mike Bailey (c) vs Delirious: Bailey retains via Flamingo Driver – ***
  • Honor No More (PCO & Vincent) vs Motor City Machine Guns: MCMG wins via Dirt Bomb – *** 1/4
  • Mickie James vs Gisele Shaw: Mickie wins via Mick-DT – ***
  • X Division Triple Threat Revolver Match: Mia Yim vs Trey Miguel vs Laredo Kid vs Alex Zayne vs Kenny King vs Yuya Uemura vs Frankie Kazarian vs Black Taurus : Kaz wins via Slingshot Cutter – *** 1/4
  • Honor No More (Eddie Edwards & OGK w/Maria Kanellis) vs Heath, Josh Alexander & Rich Swann: Eddie wins via Die Hard Flowsion – *** 1/4
  • Max the Impaler w/James Mitchell vs Jordynne Grace:  Jordynne wins via Grace Driver – *** 1/2
  • Barbed Wire Massacre Match: Moose vs Sami Callihan vs Steve Maclin: Maclin wins via KIA – **** 1/4

Results:

Tasha Steelz w/Savannah Evans vs Killer Kelly

Tasha has had this gimmick of coming down with Disney influenced attire. Mad Hatter, Scar from the Lion King…and today, Ursula. 

Kelly tries to bait in Tasha to come in and choke her, Tasha takes the bait and then they start swinging. Kelly gets the best of the slugfest when she starts incorporating her legs, which she swings them in an interesting way. She even throws a Pump Kick that looks more like a Split that just connected with Tasha’s chin.

Tasha does manage to trip up Kelly on the apron, so she gets a small burst of offense; all while Kelly smiles. Kelly crawling around on the ground and maintaining eye contact even when she’s technically underneath in the match. This definitely screams of a style that probably unlocked a few people’s kinks while watching.

Tasha lands a Shiranui, forward roll Dropkick, into a Rings of Saturn. Kelly powers through (with a little bit of a stumble), sets Tasha in the corner, Fisherman’s Buster into Knees to Face and a German Suplex that Tasha tries to fend off.  Kelly trips up Tasha as she tries to charge the corner, Hesitation Dropkick from Kelly and Savannah interrupts the match a little. Tasha with a desperate Stratusfaction, but only 2, Savannah attacks again this time with a chain, Kelly Stun Guns Savannah and locks in her Killer Klutch with the chain. The referee is going to disqualify her, so she puts the Referee to sleep and Impact officials come out to pull her off.

Sooo…no contest?

X Division Championship: Speedball Mike Bailey (c) vs Delirious

Delirious pushes the pace early in his…unique way, but Speedball eventually takes over with more controlled striking and precision attacks. However, Delirious catches him with his awkward offense and strings together quit a bit, even tying up his wrists and then just throwing him down into the mat. Indelicate offense…but effective.

A Triangle Head and Arm choke has Bailey fading a little, but he manages to get to the ropes and fire back, punctuating his short comeback with the Twisting Shooting Star Press that he does. Delirious counters Bailey, they powder out, Delirious focuses on some big strikes to the back and body. Bailey tries the Flamingo Driver, but the back gives out, Delirious with a Cobra Stretch Backbreaker. Tornado Kicks get countered, Delirious hits a Running Knee of his own, Shadows Over Hell for 2! Strike exchange, Backfists from Delirious, Kicks from Bailey. Standing Moonsault Knees from Bailey, Buzzsaw, no! Cobra Stretch attempt into a Suplex from Delirious. Superkick from Bailey, Flamingo Driver is good and Bailey retains!

That is now 9 defenses for Bailey. You have to think his reign is coming to an end soon, either from his Bound for Glory opponent or Option C. 

Honor No More (PCO & Vincent) vs Motor City Machine Guns

Vinnie and PCO are told to go soften up the number 1 contenders for OGK’s tag gold. You all should know that unless the Steiner Brothers reunite, I won’t ever cheer against The Guns. So…I’m biased here. 

Early on nothing crazy, PCO and Sabin start, they tussle a little, Vinnie and Shelley go back and forth but then MCMG tandem attacks begin. Vinnie starts fighting back once PCO hits the apron to distract Shelley. Satellite Russian Leg Sweep and some tandem work for the Honor No More duo. Vinnie and PCO have a lot of dysfunction, Vinnie clocks PCO a few times accidentally and it looks like we’re heading towards PCO exiting Honor No More.

Sabin starts working over Vinnie, Cradle Shock attempt but Vinnie slips it, fluid Guns action. Stormbreaker style maneuver from Sabin for 2. Double Yakuza on Vinnie, looking for Skull and Bones but Vinnie breaks up the teamwork. Backdrop and both men are down. Vinnie slowly gets to PCO, PCO comes in and murders Sabin in the corner with a hung Codebreaker and a Draping DDT into a nasty Guillotine Leg Drop. Reverse DDT from PCO, tag to Vinnie, Redrum – and Shelley makes the save!

PCO works over Shelley, but Shelley hits the side step and PCO flies to the outside. High Speed Dirt on Vinnie, Double Sole Butts…Dirt Bomb? I think they called their Double Driver Dirt Bomb, its been a little bit since I’ve seen them do it.

Mickie James vs Gisele Shaw

Top wristlock, chain wrestling start. So it’s slow, but showing that Mickie is trying to prove a point and be very methodical. Gisele Shaw eventually breaks out of the Wristlock with an Escalera, into a Rope Walk, Corkscrew, Arm Drag. It’s a little sloppy looking, but never dangerous, just took a beat or two longer than it should have. Mickie however responds by wrestling Gisele down, licking her hand and spanking her.

As I’ve noticed (and many of us as well), Mickie really steers into more of the sexual pop spots. Gisele hits a few strikes and then a Final Cut for 2. Cravat keeps Mickie mostly grounded until she rallies out. Mickie fights out, tries to catch Gisele with a Frakensteiner, Gisele fights her off and dumps her outside. Gisele acts like she’s okay with the count out…charges for a Baseball Slide but Mickie captures her in the ring skirt.

Mickie hits her own sliding attack and starts laying it to Gisele. As soon as they start heading back in, Gisele grabs Mickie during the entrances and flings her into the post. Mickie is still on the outside and Gisele hits a Tornillo. Raining Elbows, into the Cravat again. Gisele really shines when she focuses on her striking ability with a small flair of Lucha. Gisele goes for the Knee, Mickie blocks and forces her into a Split, kicks her while she’s still mid split and hits Knees of her own for 2. A quick few strikes and a neckbreaker give Mickie another near fall.

Full Nelson Backbreaker from Gisele, into a high intensity Flatliner from being bent over her knee. Only 2, Shaw misses with the Spin kick, single like Flapjack from Mickie, Avalanche Thesz Press, kick out by Gisele. Mick-D – NOPE! Enzuigiri from Gisele for 2, so she Exposes her knee to add impact on that V-Trigger style of attack she does. Mickie dodges, counters, Mick-DT and she wins!

The finish definitely looked goofy, but the match in general was solid. 

X Division Triple Threat Revolver Match: Mia Yim vs Trey Miguel vs Laredo Kid vs Alex Zayne vs Kenny King vs Yuya Uemura vs Frankie Kazarian vs Black Taurus

Things start quick, Laredo Kid hits a lot of early high flying offense to take early momentum. Stacks both Mia and Trey together, hits a 450 Splash, tries to pin both of them individually and only gets 2.  Trey eventually counters some of Laredo’s offense, Cheeky Nandos, into the Tiger Feint in the corner. Mia counters him and hits a few big spots, Eat DeFeat on Laredo Kid, and Kid is the first out. Big oof for Laredo Kid.

Alex Zayne is next up. Mia tries to attack him before he comes down to the ramp, he catches her and slams her on the ramp. Trey tries to do something, Zayne stops him, flips back in, and pulls of a combo move of Uranage’ing Mia into Trey only for near falls though. Again Mia takes advantage of being on the top rope, hits both men, tries to follow it up after they powder, but they hit her with the Double Gamengiri. Trey hits the reverse Rana on Zayne, Mia kicks Trey in the back of the head, Crucifix Bomb from Mia to Zayne, and Zayne is eliminated!

Kenny King is next up. This works towards a few weeks ago when Yuya debuted, Mia interrupted the match which cost Kenny the match. So Mia and Kenny have heat, and Kenny tries to leverage the triple threat aspect to his favor. Mia and Trey do start arguing like idiots on who’s gonna fight Kenny. Reverse Powerbomb across the top rope from Kenny, then he hits the Spinebuster on Mia; and Kenny is rolling. Trey and Mia do finally start working together, Mia hits Pay Dirt on Kenny, but he kicks at two and then powders. Mia is too focused on Kenny, Trey and her start to go back and forth, so Kenny Rolls her Up with tights for the elimination.

Yuya Uemura is who we have now. Missile Dropkick entry on Trey, a few quick Crossbodies help him roll pretty fast. Dragon Suplex from Kenny takes the barely upgraded Young Lion down, but only a near fall. Double Overhook Belly to Belly from Yuya gives the young wrestler a chance to fire off one on one with Trey. Trey lights him up with a few kicks, misses the Stomp, Jacky Bryant Snap Kick, Tilt-a-Whirl Argentine Driver gives Trey the pinfall.

KAZ is next! Kenny looks like he’s gonna have Trey and Kaz fight themselves, but tries to shanghai some offense. Kaz doesn’t fall for it, and controls both men for a couple minutes hitting classic Kaz offense, Springboard Guillotine, Running Russian Leg Sweep, just good Kaz stuff.  Pile up in the corner, Trey hits a desperation Meteora, but overshoots the landing so all 3 men are down for a breather. Trey tries to get some fluid action against Kenny, but Kaz plucks him out of the air and chokes him out.

Black Taurus is the final entrant. So next pinfall or submission wins. Taurus dominates early since he’s the fresh man, but then we see Kenny and Kaz pick a few spots to try and keep their chances alive. Taurus has a couple close calls with a few of his bigger spots, Kaz gets a Victory Roll on Taurus, then a Bridging Suplex on Kenny for a double pin, but they kick out. Taurus powders, slingshot Cutter to King and Kaz wins!

Little vignette with Rosemary, Taya, JesSICKa and VXT. Then Bobby Fish shows up. Fish is poking fun at how much heat he’s had lately. So I’d take this, and the rumours about CM Punk not coming back to AEW, as having some weight. Fish’s promo does drag a little, but it stops exactly when it starts to feel too long. He says he’s here to pick a fight and then Raj Singh and Shera show up. 

The crowd trips up Raj during his promo and Bobby pulls the “who are you” angle, and that saves the promo. Shera being turned into a Gatekeeping midcarder is sad, but not unexpected. Raj however is worthless. Rohit Raju was the only talented on from the Desi Hit Squad. 

Honor No More (Eddie Edwards & OGK w/Maria Kanellis) vs Heath, Josh Alexander & Rich Swann

Team IMPACT is flowing early. The only tag that HNM makes early with when Eddie decides to duck Josh in the beginning. Aside from that, Mike Bennet is getting worn out like barn shoes for a good five minutes.

Of course, eventually Honor No More grab a foot, cause some trips, take shortcuts and get back to a level of parity. Nothing about this match as really stuck out beyond usual 6 man stuff. OGK manages to rip Heath and Josh off the apron to keep Rich isolated, but again, nothing really mind shattering. As things start to break down and Josh gets in with Eddie, there’s heavy moves that connect. Blue Thunder Bomb, Back Breakers, its just more of the Kings Road style of match. In which the slow build through the match is part of the story telling and we’re getting to wrinkles. Eddie hits a Tiger Driver after OGK hit a few running spots, only 2. Another Tiger Driver + Just the Tip, and Rich breaks up the pin.

Rich was on the apron, had the chance to tag Josh, but decides to Senton into the pile of Honor No More. Maria and Taven get involved while Rich and Heath are down on the outside, Die Hard Flowsion, and Honor No More wins!

The take away of course is the fact that Rich chose to attack the pile instead of backing up Josh. So the whole conspiracy theory concept will probably continue for Josh. He’s gonna go full DTA at this point, unless Ethan Page returns. 

Max the Impaler w/James Mitchell vs Jordynne Grace

One of the few times I can type the sentence, Jordynne is losing the power game here. Max just ragdolls Jordynne, forcing Jordynne to try and be the agile one. Jordynne chops, and Max doesn’t move. Jordynne tries to lift, and there’s no give. Forearms and rope assisted offense finally starts to rock Max a little, but they get up quickly. Jordynne dives, and Max just whips her down into the apron.

Max literally has Jordynne pinned against the ringpost as they lift her up off her feet by the neck. Max slides in occasionally to break the counts, but just continues to impose their will on Jordynne. Jordynne barely maanges to counter a Powerbomb into a Back Body Dorp, and Jordynne finally isn’t getting beat on. She tries to do something to Max, but Max drives her into the post and then misses a Spear.

Jordynne goes for a bunch of slaps and the Aja Kong style backfist, before a Hip Attack into a Vader Bomb, for 2. A quick burst of offense has really been the first time in a while that Jordynne had any forward momentum here. Max tries to lift Jordynne for a Death Valley, Jodynne fights off, hits the ropes and then eats a Spear from Max for a 2 count.

Sunset Bomb from Jordynne gives her some determination, snap Grace Driver and Jordynne wins!

Jordynne names her Pick Your Poison choice. Allie Katch in a Monster’s Ball Match. I mean…I like Allie Katch, but she’s not nearly the obstacle that Max was. So it really fell flat. 

Barbed Wire Massacre Match: Moose vs Sami Callihan vs Steve Maclin

Maclin coming out in the Punisher paint is pretty cool, while Sami comes out with some flannel looking like Cactus Jack.

After a small stall, Sami incites both men. Sami ducks Moose and Moose ends up Pouncing Maclin through a door. Then Sami hits the Piledriver on Moose, but just starts looking around since he doesn’t want this to end early. Moose goes for a rope run, but stops since he forgot about the barbed wire, Sami tries to take advantage but Moose shoves him into it, and Sami just laughs and screams “I like it!”. Sami tosses Moose and Moose turns it into a Tope con Hilo onto Maclin. Now they brawl on the outside.

Sami slams Moose into the guardrail and clocks Maclin for good measure. Maclin has literally not been able to get out of the gates. Sami goes after Maclin a little and that just ends up pissing him off. So when Sami gets distracted with his theater of pain, Maclin starts to lay into Sami, using the barbed wire, stairs, Sami counters and we start getting to some big haymakers. Lariats, Suplexes, just going for a few different home run shots until they all slowly rise for the Fighting Spirit spot.

Maclin and Moose team up a little on Sami, Moose throws Sami into one side of the ring, then he drapes Maclin over the top of another barbed wire covered rope, Sami pops up and Suplexes Moose into the barbed wire. Sami grabs a barbed wire chair, Maclin and Sami jockey for positioning, but Sami Suplexes Maclin onto the chair. Sami also pulls out a Barbed Wire N64 Controller. See unlike the pen from yesterday, this one is actually a little clever.

Sami puts Maclin in a Crossface with the N64 wire, Maclin fights out, Skuds Moose, Busaiku Knee to Sami, Moose pulls out Maclin and Powerbombs him onto the apron. Chokeslam directly onto the barebed wire, but Sami kicks out. Lights Out attempt, but Maclin hits him with the chair and hits KIA. Sami breaks it up with the barbed wire ball. Sami looks to be setting up a barbed wire table with designs on sending Moose through it. Sami plays to the crowd, Maclin comes up from behind him and locks in a Sleeper. Sami slumps down, then climbs up to the top rope with the barbed wire chair and jumps at Moose. The table doesn’t break, but that’s almost worse since Maclin just buries Moose against the guardrail.

Barbed Wire Bat versus Barbed Wire Trash Can Lid when Maclin gets back in. Sami and the bat win, as he even does the sit out bat drop with the “Bang Bang” flourish for the obvious Foley reference. Slap fight, and then Sami Powerbombs Steve through another door. Cactus Driver ’97 and…Maclin kicks out! Thumbs Up, Thumbs Down, Maclin Uppercuts the balls and hits KIA on the piece of Door left in the middle of the ring! MACLIN WINS!

Overall Score: 7.25/10

So fun takeaways here is that Maclin got the big win, so he should be in line for a well deserved push. Josh Alexander should start a becoming an island, which plays into Honor No More’s hands. Bobby Fish showing up could lead to some fun matches and you can’t be mad at Frankie Kazarian being in an X Division Championship match for the first time in like 8 years.

Also I do appreciate that Raven is the Hall of Fame nominee this year. He’s a blast from the past, who wasn’t really active on the roster when they got inducted. So it’s just a little refreshing.

I’m not gonna sit here like the event was super important since none of the matches were really worth going out to find, except for the main event. Nothing was bad, we moved along a lot of storylines and even got a debut I wasn’t expecting. So it’s a decent show. Must see? Nope. But if you’ve got the time and like the product; you won’t be mad.


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Andrew’s IMPACT Wrestling Results & Match Ratings: 9.22.2022

The last IMPACT before Victory Road tomorrow! How does this GO Home wrap things up?

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Tonight should be interesting! We get a Ladder Match for the Digital Media title, a number one contender match for the Tag Team Titles and a little bit of a preview for the revolver match tomorrow.

Capped off with the contract signing, things will either get really interesting or tread water a bit. I guess there’s only one way to find out. So let’s start with a little bit of the Kane level of a creepy from Killer Kelly.

Ratings:

  • Digital Media Championship – Ladder Match: Bhupinder Gujjar vs Brian Myers (c): Myers retains – ** 3/4
  • Jordynne Grace vs Zicky Dice w/Johnny Swinger: Jordynne wins via Grace Driver – Squash
  • 5 Way X Division Match: Mia Yim vs Black Taurus vs Laredo Kid vs Trey Miguel vs Alex Zayne: Taurus wins via Destination Hell Hole – ***
  • Open Challenge Street Fight: Heath vs PCO: Heath wins via Wake Up Call – ** 1/2
  • Aussie Open vs Motor City Machine Guns: MCMG win via Skull and Bones – *** 1/4

Results:

Digital Media Championship – Ladder Match: Bhupinder Gujjar vs Brian Myers (c)

Myers decides to try to lead by talking before Gujjar just goes after him with heavy strikes, Samoan Drop and some solid offense. Gujjar sets up for the moron perched Spear and Myers counters it with a Jumping Knee. A little jockeying back and forth for a ladder, but Myers keeps momentum, hits a Backdrop on the apron and sets up the first ladder in the middle.

Gujjar slides in, lays in some heavy forearms, sweeps his leg and catches the falling Myers with a Cutter. Moron Perched Spear again…this time it connects with Myers bouncing off the ladder and powdering out. It takes him a minute, but Gujjar tries to climb the ladder and Myers rushes in to tip over the ladder sending him and ladder bouncing off the ropes. Myers drops the ladder on Gujjar’s head and sets up the ladder in the corner. Gujjar plays the roll on the pinball and starts careening off of ladders and corners.

Ahh okay nonsense spots begin! Myers grabs a second ladder, Gujjar sets up the original ladder and we have the stupid “slug it out while on two different ladders” spot. Myers gets knocked down, Gujjar can’t take advantage and Myers recovers almost immediately for an elevated Backdrop Driver. So…purely useless and just done for a spot. Third ladder leaned against the steps, little bit of a fight, and then Myers lands the Kevin Nash style Jacknife Powerbomb on the third ladder.

They stumble back in, Gujjar hits a desperation Superkick, tries to climb the ladder but Myers hits the Uppercut to the nuts and then tapes Gujjar’s leg to the ladder. So instead of fighting Myers as he was climbing, Gujjar just helplessly struggles to try and get his leg out while Myers grabs his title.

The finish was clever, but stupid and we saw some dumb spots for the sake of spots; but it wasn’t awful, especially given Gujjar’s inexperience. 

Jordynne Grace vs Zicky Dice w/Johnny Swinger

This got set up last week since Zicky and Swinger were setting up the classic porn pizza delivery and Zicky’s mouth got him in trouble. So he gets dominated by Jordynne and they return to the dungeon.

Yeah all of this is tags on Pornhub, a lot like Rhea & Dom Mysterio.

5 Way X Division Match: Mia Yim vs Black Taurus vs Laredo Kid vs Trey Miguel vs Alex Zayne

While I’m generally disinterested in most of the wrestlers here, I do enjoy Mia’s theme song. All four guys go after each other so Mia waits, works with Alex and Trey for a moment and then it breaks down. Trey and Alex go into the leg pick, counter style that is very video game, and very boring. Mia waits for them to pause and pose and hits a Double Dropkick.

Black Taurus slides in to interrupt Mia’s offense and just headbutts her into next week. So Lucha time when Laredo kid pop up. Frankensteiner to the outside for Laredo, Alex and Trey decide to fly together to set up the pile spot for Mia’s Senton. Again, basic indy Cruiser stuff that is kinda lame, boring and predictable.

Now is the point when everyone gets some form of offense in and there’s a lot of flashy moves and then they all fall down. Mia does land a Powerbomb on Alex Zayne which is unexpected. Protecc Ya Neck from Mia, but Laredo Kid and Trey intercept. Taurus eats Trey for a snack, but Laredo Kid lands a Superkick causing the bull to powder. Laredo tries the Corkscrew Moonsault Press, and crashes and burns. Cinnamon Twist from Zayne catches knees. Destination Hell Hole from Black Taurus and the bull wins!

I’ve learned because most of the Western cruisers have literally no personality or its always the same “high flying daredevil” type, these matches are boring and paint by numbers. Mia’s involvement helps, the Lucha element is always volatile and tomorrow’s Revolver match has Frankie Kazarian, so at least there’s reasons to care. 

I believe in Joe Hendry. 

Open Challenge Street Fight: Heath vs PCO

PCO comes down, then Honor No More cuts off his entrance and Eddie tells PCO this is not his fight. Gets in his face, pulls the “you belong to me” line while Heath is trying to goad the French Canadian Frankenstein. PCO pushes through Honor No More and comes down to start the match. 

Heath hits the Plancha immediately, but Vincent stuck around, so Heath is immediately out numbered. Going up the ramp and then outside to a staging area, we get a very awkward and very dark set up for some kind of spot off a stage.

There we go, after a DDT from Heath onto the stage, the flings PCO into a few rows of nicely place chairs. So while I don’t like the lightning, pacing or spot selection; it’s what one expects with PCO and hardcore rules. Honor No More walk out while PCO recovers and then we see Josh Alexander and Rich Swann hit the ring to even up the odds a little.

Josh and Rich get most of them, focus on Eddie Edwards but Vincent tries to take advantage of the bedlam. Chairshot, Orange Sunshine attempt, but Heath counters and hits a Wake Up Call. PCO rises from the chairs like the Shredder from Teenager Mutant Ninja Turtles, and while draped in chairs, starts throwing them at Heath. Heath charges once PCO gets in, eats a Chokeslam. PCO piles up the chairs, puts on the glove, Mandible Claw onto the pile of chairs.

PCO-SAULT crashes and burns on all the chairs. Wake Up Call onto the pile and Heath wins!

For all of the opening jawing, this was fairly paint by numbers.

Aussie Open vs Motor City Machine Guns

Shelley starts off against Fletcher. Fletcher tries to impose his height, but Shelley hits him with multiple arm breakers, tag, quick spots and Sabin even takes a shot at the arm. Davis gets tagged in as per the usual Japanese tag openings. Very rarely do we see the opening salvo be a lot of isolation, everyone usually gets a chance to play before isolations tactics get applied.

Davis rattles Sabin a little with a Backhand Chop, but a blind tag, tandem Guns classic offense levels Davis, stops Fletcher’s interference and they play a little rope a dope. Stereo apron attacks from the Guns and we get to see that MCMG swagger.

Davis sandwiches Shelley, Fletcher gets cute, we see both teams try to help save one another in locomotion corner spots before Aussie Open both catch the smaller guns and give them the old Squisher before the commercial break. The Aussie’s maintaining control as we come back to a Delayed Vertical Suplex, VERY Delayed. Davis tries a Senton but Shelley rolls away and finally looks for daylight. Fletcher goes for the block but Sabin gets in anyway.

Hot tag flurry from Sabin with a Missile Dropkick, PK and a big High Fly Flow for 2. Shelley slips in for high impact tandem offense, Flatliner/Missile Dropkick combo, again, only 2. Fletcher hits a desperation Driver, Tandem Gutbuster/Cutter from Aussie for 2. Assisted Iconoclasm, but also only 2. Both teams have hit bigger tandem moves, trying to impose their tag superiority.

Corealis attempt, but Sabin fights out with a Tornado DDT. High Speed Dirt, Double Yakuza in the corner, Skull and Bones…for the win!

Ahh we’ve got the contract signing main event, or in this regard; the “Hold Harmless” agreement. Sami shows up a little late with smarmy things to say, pulls out a pen wrapped in barbed wire, which is just TOO gimmicky and stupid. There’s a fine line between ridiculous parody amusement and going to far to the point of stupid. This is stupid, then we get a big brawl. 

Overall Score: 6/10

Last few episodes have been a bit uninspired, with mediocre matches and no real story to sink my teeth in to. The draw of the big triple threat is just the violence, but they’ve done so many hardcore matches in the last 3 or 4 years, it’s a little old. That’s not to say I don’t enjoy Moose, Sami and Maclin on their own; this story has just dragged a bit. Also going from No DQ to Clockwork House of Fun, to Barbed Wire Massacre…it’s all the same and redundant.

Myers’ match felt like it was almost good, which I blame more on Gujjar’s vanilla personality and a few dumb spots. X Division style isn’t what it used to be. If I wanted to watch pointless flips and piles of people waiting for spots I’d go to more Indies, or watch AEW.

For people who only watch intermittently, this did explain how we get to the Victory Road card pretty well. But I’m just uninterested in the last few weeks is all. It’s kinda bad when the thing I popped the most for was Joe Hendry.


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