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Impact Coverage

Andrew’s Impact Wrestling Ratings & Analysis (4/5/2019)

Andrew goes straight from NXT Takeover to Impact Wrestling! How does the show follow up the mediocre Against All Odds?

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Andrew goes straight from NXT Takeover to Impact Wrestling! How does the show follow up the mediocre Against All Odds?

We’ve got Gail Kim and Tessa Blanchard building for the next few weeks, Rosemary will be dealing with the death of Allie and Cage should be out for Johnny Impact’s blood.

There’s a lot of storylines to build this week, so let’s hope things start to build.

Time to start the show!

Ratings:

  • X Division Scramble: Aiden Prince vs Idris Abraham vs Ace Austin vs Trey vs Petey Williams vs Jake Crist: Williams wins via Avalanche Canadian Destroyer – *** 1/2
  • Mad Man Fulton & Sami Callihan vs Rich Swann & Willie Mack: Callihan wins via Piledriver – ** 1/2
  • #1 Contender’s Match: Jordynne Grace vs Madison Rayne: Grace wins via Grace Driver – *** 1/4
  • Rohit Raju vs Fallah Bahh: Rohit wins via Dirty Pin – **
  • Eli Drake & Eddie Edwards vs LAX: Eddie wins via Boston Knee Party – ***

 

Analysis:

A 6 way crazy X Division match kicks things off quickly. Everyone had a decent bit of offense, and Petey ends up getting the win by pinning Jake Crist. So I’m guessing since Impact is in Canada leading to Rebellion for TV tapings, they went for home country pop. Does feel a little left field, but it’s a good match and Petey is still fantastic.

LAX have a bit of a ranting segment about the Lucha Bros after the match.

This tag match continues the saga of Rich Swann against oVe. Willie Mack and Rich get in some good offense, but eventually the numbers and monstrous Mad Man Fulton put oVe over the top. It’s always nice to see Sami get victories with a Piledriver. Dreamer came in to stop the continued beat down, so this might be the angle they use for the RVD return since we all know he’s back with IMPACT. Between the Rascalz and Dreamer’s involvement, RVD has a few angles into the show.

Rolando Melendez – Menendez? It’s his time to be annoying, Johnny Last Name is being condescending and douchey, and that covers his lack of charisma nicely. Killer Kross enters into frame and shuts down Johnny’s verbal massage of the situation, and is just generally creepy, sadistic and scary as hell…all while enunciating beautiful. He’s such a great Sociopath.

Rascalz have a great ridiculous moment with Moose backstage. It’s just funny, find the clip.

GWN Flashback: Su Yung vs Rosemary May 3, 2018 IMPACT!

Well now, as we see in the earlier inserted video, Jordynne took  umbrage with Madison trying to jump the line. So Taya planted the seed of a number 1 contender match, and this wasn’t bad. Madison was never high on my list, but her time in the WWE PC and maybe even ROH (even though she threw shade in the interview) seems to have helped. Nothing looked too bad, and was obviously working from underneath since Jordynne is a powerhouse. So again, surprisingly solid match. Good job Madison!

Josh Alexander and Ethan Page have a segment in the back where they declare their teaming again and gonna destroy all of the things. Somewhere Greg DeMarco is giddy like a school girl.

Fallah and Rohit actually wasn’t bad. Decent pace from both men, even given Fallah’s size, but the rest of the Desi Hit Squad being around the ring paid off for Rohit. Scarlett Bordeaux comes out after the injustice to distract the Hit Squad, then Fallah lays them out, flings them in the corner. Scarlett stopped Fallah and hit them with a hip attack and Stink Face (is it really a bad thing from Scarlett?). Scarlett then hops on Fallah’s back and the celebrate. Is this a thing now? I’m not against it, just want to know.

…Cody Deaner is back…apparently with a cousin named Jake? Okay…you have my curiosity.

Gail Kim highlight reel/hype package. She is one of the best of the previous generation of women’s wrestlers, so I’m hype for the match. Followed by Tessa saying similar things to last week, just running down the “bra and panties match” era. Good angle, just nothing new was said on Tessa’s part.

Well Eli takes a swing at Konnan before the bell, causing Konnan to retaliate. So the referee throws out Konnan. What ensues is a pretty decent match. A lot of the typical LAX stuff we’ve grown to expect, Eli and Eddie pulling out a few tricks and then the Lucha Bros come out to distract LAX after they were embarrassed at Against All Odds. Eli sneaks in with Kenny the Kendo stick, hits Ortiz, Eddie hits a Boston Knee Party and the upset happens!

Lucha Bros put Santana through a table to make a point after the match.

 

Overall Score: 7/10

Solid show. Coming off an odd Against All Odds, this had some good action, moved storylines along well and was just generally an easy watch. Given that NXT Takeover bled into the start time a little and could’ve bit into live viewership, it’s nice they put up a good show for the hardcore fan that wanted to consume as much wrestling as possible on a Friday.

Like I said last week, I’m not doing the Twitch views until after Rebellion so we have a basis of comparison coming off the second PPV of the year.


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Andrew’s IMPACT Results & Match Ratings: 1.26.2023

This episode is gonna be a real dice roll. A shaky card means that the segments really need to make up for the lack of engagement on paper. Does it get there?

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I have no real clue what to make of this episode. With a throw away X Division Championship match and most likely a Knockouts Tag to just perpetuate the Gisele is a shitty human concept, I don’t see a lot of hope for this episode outside of the main event.

Every now and then there’s a head scratching klunker from IMPACT because they get too wrapped up in their gimmicks and sometimes they all coalesce in the same episode. Hopefully we can salvage some entertainment in the first like 90 minutes as to not be struggle bussing to the final match.

At least the teaser for Gisele’s partner seems to have potential.

Ratings:

  • X Division Championship: Trey Miguel (c) vs Mike Jackson: Trey retains via Lightning Spiral – *
  • The Good Hands vs KUSHIDA & Kevin Knight: Kushida wins via Hoverboard Lock – **
  • Knockouts Tag Team Championship: Death Dollz (Taya Valkyrie & JesSICKa w/ Rosemary) (c) vs Gisele Shaw & Tara w/Jai Vidal: Death Dollz retain via Assisted Sickishi Driver – **
  • Major Players (Brian Myers & Matt Cardona) vs Bullet Club (Ace & Bey): Ace wins via Prawn Hold – ** 1/4
  • Jonathan Gresham vs Sheldon Jean: Gresham wins via Sliding D – *
  • Golden 6 Shooter Elimination: Rhino vs Moose vs Chris Sabin vs Callihan vs Rich Swann vs Eddie Edwards: Rich Swann wins via 450 Splash – *** 1/4

 

Results:

X Division Championship: Trey Miguel (c) vs Mike Jackson

Mike Jackson gets a few moments of Running Shoulder Tackles to knock down Trey since Trey is taking the challenge lightly. A near fall into some shoving and feigning an apology. Jackson is still a moron in his old age and takes the handshake bait to get snuck in the jaw.

Jackson does the straps down, back elbows, swinging Neckbreaker and then goes for some kind of punch combination and gets countered. Its very hard to care about this match since who’s really going to put a title on a 76 year old man. Mike Jackson does the Oldest School, Prayer Walk…whatever you want to call it – before Trey pulls him down and starts kicking him around. Jacky Bryant Kick, into Lightning Spiral…and who cares.

After the match Trey looks under the ring for his spray paint, finds Crazzy Steve already tagged up and taunting Trey. Black Taurus comes out when Trey tries to powder, and I guess Decay isn’t done with Trey yet. 

The Good Hands vs KUSHIDA & Kevin Knight

Skyler starts off for the Good Hands, Knight technically starts but very quick tags. Tandem Arm Wringers and strikes until Skyler manages to powder, get chased and find a way to tag out and start working over Kushida. Hotch pulls off a Chaos Theory German Suplex, so I’m a fan of him now…and they do the tandem cover as Skyler hits the Jacknife cover for 2.

Kushida manages to get some space, tag out and Knight comes in with a hot tag and starts flying around. Some quick work, Cartwheel Dropkick from Kushida. Electric Chair/Dropkick combo as Knight wipes out Hotch and Kushida sinks in the Hoverboard Lock on Skyler.

Knockouts Tag Team Championship: Death Dollz (Taya Valkyrie & JesSICKa w/ Rosemary) (c) vs Gisele Shaw & Tara w/Jai Vidal

Tara comes out and JesSICKa starts bowing, Tara is emotional, Taya looks a little awe struck and actually respectfully shakes hands. Death Dollz are playing the perfect babyface role early on.

It looks like Taya and Tara are going to start, but before they touch, Gisele tags her out like a good heel should. Taya and JesSICKa are both mad they don’t get to wrestle with Tara, so there moves have a little more oomph. Tara keeps holding her hand out for a tag but Gisele is ignoring her and actually says no when Tara tries to ask for the tag.

Tara is trying to be a good sport but Gisele’s ego has her refuse to tag in Tara multiple times. Gisele disrespects Tara by using her old taunt and hitting the Spider Web only for 2. She plays to the crowd asking if they want Tara and then disrespects Tara. Tara walks in to argue while the Death Dollz are…eating popcorn. This is wonderful. Gisele slaps Tara and tries to talk more shit, Tara snaps and Widow’s Peak…the Dollz throw their popcorn and look shocked. Assisted Sickishi Driver and the Dollz retain with an assist to a fed up Tara.

Major Players (Brian Myers & Matt Cardona) vs Bullet Club (Ace & Bey)

Bey gets the best of Cardona early, tags in Ace and we see some solid tandem work with sweeps, kicks, Double Sentons, a lot of fluid Junior style movement. The Majors manage to catch Ace watching both of them, Myers pulls him face first into a rope and then they start working over Ace.

Ace finally rocks Cardona after eating offense for a few minutes, Bey takes the hot tag, cleans house, does a little homage to Shinsuke Nakamura before hitting Cardona with a Jumping Uppercut in the corner. Bey is rolling until Myers scoops Ace off the apron; which distracts Bey, so Cardona catches him with a Lariat and shifts the momentum. Reboot into a Guillotine Leg Drop for 2. Bey manages to defend, Ace tags, hits a rolling Headscissors, they try to set up a 1-2-Sweet but Bey is rocked so he’s slow to the spot. Cardona blocks, a little back and forth before Ace rocks Cardona with a Triangle Kick. Bey turns it into a Victory Roll, but Bey isn’t legal, so Ace tries to pull things apart and quickly figure out a Prawn Hold of sorts to get a sloppy victory.

Jonathan Gresham vs Sheldon Jean

Still surprised Gresham lost to Eddie, but I guess more enhancement matches are how to get right.

As much as Hannifan is trying to go over Sheldon’s resume, no one is buying it. He’s enhancement talent who’s acting cocky but getting relatively worked over. Gresham shows Sheldon what a chainsaw does to a tree, hyperextends his tree, Sliding D to the back of the head…Gresham wins.

Golden 6 Shooter Elimination: Rhino vs Moose vs Chris Sabin vs Callihan vs Rich Swann vs Eddie Edwards

Early tie ups, turn into Moose and Rhino standing off, then Sabin and Rhino…and we just get a little bit of revolving door of square offs. Definitely a little silly to try and go through the play by play here since it’s just different pair offs and a handful of high spots. Callihan gets set up for a Gore but Moose takes the shot to hit Rhino with Lights Out before the Gore. Callihan wipes out Moose and pins Rhino, to eliminate him first.

Moose stacks Swann and Sabin on the top corner, Okada Dropkick hits both, Eddie attacks Moose, Sabin takes advantage of the distraction for a Tornado DDT, but only 2. Sabin keeps the momentum against Eddie and Callihan before we get more interesting spots from everyone taking out 2 people. Swann looks to take out Callihan but Eddie crotches Swann, Gamengiri, Backpack…nope, Swann slips it, face kick, Sabin tries something but Eddie with the Inside Out Side Slam, Powerbombs Swann into Sabin for 2. Eddie looks to Tiger Driver Sabin but no, counter backslide, rope run, Pop Up Flapjack, Tiger Driver finally hits…but only 2. Eddie lines up Boston Knee Party but PCO’s music hits and PCO is pointing at Eddie through the sea of security. Distract Eddie eats a Yakuza Kick from Sabin, Head and Arm Cradle to eliminate Eddie Edwards.

Moose clocks Sabin, a few big strikes and an Uranage for 2. Moose is trying to put Sabin away quickly. Corner charge, Sabin moves, Flying Enzuigiri, Tornado…nope…Lights Out, Chris Sabin is eliminated. Callihan, Swann and Moose are now all in and just trading strikes and headbutts. Back and forth, Callihan throws Swann into the ropes, Lethal Injection…but Callihan powders. Moose kicks out Swann’s leg and starts trying to work over the leg. Great limb work…damn Moose even breaks out a Dragon Screw and then starts just punching the right knee relentlessly. Moose locks in some Stump Puller variation to continue the torture. Moose gets a little cocky, keeps trying to lift on the leg but Swann tucks, rolls and hits the Victory Roll to eliminate Moose.

The Design walks out to tell Callihan to take out Swann as the last step. Callihan goes for a Stretch Muffler on the good leg, Rich counters with a Cradle variation for 2. Swann then starts rocking Callihan with Vader Hammers, Swann tries to fire, kick to the gut, Powerbomb into an Ankle Lock on the back leg. Thumbs Up, Thumbs…kicked in the face. Rich keeps throwing kicks, finally drops Callihan, 450 Splash to eliminate Callihan.

 

Overall Score: 6/10

Only one decent wrestling match, but a few high points through the show. Death Dollz eating popcorn as Tara snaps to the disrespect, Tasha and Savannah finally breaking up, Maclin with a solid point in his promo and of course Hendry’s new song. Major Players will always be Edge’s Bitches to me as well Joe.

Aside from that, the show was a little slow and with predictable matches, the little moments had to really hit to keep some of the entertainment investment. Mike Jackson may be an amusing story, but it was totally worthless. Zero suspension of disbelief.

Not a terrible episode, but not a super strong one either. If you’ve been following IMPACT for a while, the show was better than a purely uninitiated perspective.


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Andrew’s IMPACT Results & Match Ratings: 1.19.2023

Mickie is the new champ and Josh Alexander retained! Do new challengers appear?

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Coming off Hard to Kill, we’ve got fallout and set up for the next few weeks to establish. Mickie James is the new champion and not cutting a retirement promo! Josh Alexander defended against Bully Ray, so we have to figure out who’s next for the Walking Weapon.

Aside from that, the show could go in a ton of different directions. So lets see if any of the title scenes get some love tonight.

Ratings:

  • Bully Ray, Tasha Steelz & Savannah Evans vs Jordynne Grace, Mickie James & Frankie Kazarian: Mickie wins via Avalanche Thesz Press – ***
  • Deonna Purrazzo vs Ashley D’amboise: Deonna wins via Queen’s Gambit – N/A
  • Taylor Wilde vs Killer Kelly: Kelly wins via Killer Clutch – ** 1/2
  • Steve Maclin vs Dirty Dango: Maclin wins via K.I.A. – **
  • Pit Fight: Kenny King vs Speedball Mike Bailey: Speedball wins via KO – *** 1/2

 

Results:

The show opens with Hannifan saying some somber words over the in memorium photo of Jay Briscoe, Hard to Kill highlights…and then Mickie officially opens the show. She’s starting up the thankful babyface legend promo, and then Bully Ray’s music hits. He tries to tell Mickie to get out, she stands firm and flips the get out on him where the crowd is receptive to chanting along.

Bully tries to claim he was the main event/draw of Hard to Kill and it had nothing to do with Mickie or Josh. Bully tries to intimidate her, Mickie doesn’t back down, and refers to Bully’s past of knowing what he does to women, but she doesn’t care. Before Bully does something, Tasha’s music hits and she’s picking a fight with Mickie while indirectly letting Bully know she’s cool with his way of doing business. 

Tasha says if he’s gonna hit her, Savannah attacks Mickie, don’t leave them out. Kazarian and Jordynne Grace make the save. Santino’s 70s Hanna-Barbera music hits, and he’s insinuating a 6 person match…but Ernest “The Cat” Miller’s music hits. Santino doesn’t know how to make the match, Ernest reminds everyone he was the commissioner in WCW, so he helps teach Santino how to make a match. It’s solid comedy, Santino even calls Bully…Bobby Ray. 

Bully Ray, Tasha Steelz & Savannah Evans vs Jordynne Grace, Mickie James & Frankie Kazarian

Grace and Tasha start off, where Tasha does actually pop Grace early on with some paint brush slaps. Grace eventually gets the best of her, tags in Savannah, Savannah gets dropped and Jordynne wants Bully. But Bully ignores her as the “Bobby Ray” chants kick up. Grace gets too distracted with trying to provoke Bully, so Savannah sneak attacks her.

Savannah tries to lock in her Full Neslon Bomb, but Jordynne gets out of it, and tags in Mickie. And Mickie starts lighting up Savannah. It’s a solid back and forth, Mickie starts getting the momentum back and Bully pulls her hair while she heads to the ropes to drop her and give the heels the advantage before the commercial. Bully tags in, scoops up Mickie and drops her with a Power Slam as he then talks shit. Mickie slaps him, Scoop Slam keeps Mickie down, Savannah tags in and the beatdown continues. Tasha then tags in and keeps Mickie on the receiving end.

Mickie finally rallies with the crowd, Elbows, Forearms, Slaps and  Swinging Headscissors gives Mickie a chance…but Tasha cuts her off with a Pump Kick. Savannah gets the tag and Mickie still can’t make an opening. Savannah tagged in, they try a tandem move, Mickie finally catches them, tags out to Jordynne and she starts cleaning house. Double Knees to the back, Sliding D into a Vader Bomb from Grace, for 2 but Bully breaks up the pinfall. Jordynne and Bully have a small moment but Kaz breaks things up and knocks Bully over the top rope. Bully leaves, Kaz double coconuts the girls, Mickie gets the tag for the Avalanche Thesz Press to win the match.

Masha’s music hits, Death Warrant issued and Mickie doesn’t back down. 

Deonna Purrazzo vs Ashley D’amboise

Deonna needs an enhancement talent match? Really?

Deonna bullies Ashley early, a little Pie Facing, Headlock Takeover, and Deonna is just leaning on her and not taking her seriously. Top Wristlock, but Ashley tries a few quick strikes and then a Sunset Flip, leads to nowhere. Liger Style Surfboard from Deonna into a Vertical Suplex for 2. Again, Deonna is not really trying, she’s playing with her food. It gives Ashley a few moments to sneak in some offense, much like playing with a younger sibling, Deonna picks Ashley up during a pinfall to keep the punishment going. Slingshot Rolling Neckbreaker is Ashley’s flashy moment, but Deonna puts the breaks on, Big Boot, Powerbomb into a Queen’s Gambit for the easy win.

Taylor Wilde vs Killer Kelly

A match made in Hot Topic heaven. Our little Wilde Wiccan Witch and the Psychotic Portuguese Pain Provocateur.

Kelly feigns shakings hands, pulls in Taylor for a quick Backdrop Suplex, Kelly attempts a Senton but misses and they pause to smile at each other; getting across their darker unhinged personas. They trade similar moves, a Knee Lift, into a takeover and then Taylor floats over into a Guillotine. I’m curious if the opening is getting across their similarities because we might see Kelly and Taylor team in the future.

We continue the even fighting, Kelly catches both of Taylor’s attempted strikes and they smile and get “Now Kiss” close, before Taylor turns it into an opportunistic suplex, and then a Codebreaker to give the witch the advantage. Taylor hits the Double Stomp in the ropes, into a Sunset Flip Cradle for 2. They continue to grin at each other while hitting and getting hit, so it really looks like they’re becoming friends. Smart spot, where Kelly catches the two strikes again, but this time it’s Kelly’s turn to get the best of it, a few headbutts and a toss into the corner, sets up a Hesitation Dropkick. Kelly tries for the Killer Clutch, Taylor counters with a Wilde Ride…into locomotion Cradles…but Kelly slips the cradle and locks in the Killer Clutch for the win.

Steve Maclin vs Dirty Dango

Maclin is going to murder Dango…but it’s amusing to have him around. 

Maclin smacks him around, tries the Sunset Flip, but Dango stays upright, drops a leg and gets some things going. A Hammerlock Suplex starts a bit of offense from Dango before Maclin lays him out and starts getting annoyed. Dango tries to fight out, but eats a High Angle Backbreaker for his troubles.

One more fire up spots for Dango, a few consecutive Euro Uppers in the corners, the Dirt Bag Shuffle leads into a Falcon Arrow. He heads to the top rope possibly for a Guillotine Leg Drop, Maclin powders, Dango tries to catch him and Tornado DDT into the ramp but Maclin stops it. Caught in the Crosshairs, K.I.A. – and Maclin wins as we all expected.

Pit Fight: Kenny King vs Speedball Mike Bailey

Essentially, it’s a Josh Barnett Bloodsport match. Not ropes, and only KO or Submission gets you the win. Bailey should win this, but he’s been on a bit of a mixed run lately in IMPACT. 

A few wild early swings don’t land for either man, King tries to shoot the double, Bailey goes into guard, fights a little so King lets him up. Bailey keeps throwing feet trying to get his distance, King is avoiding until he manages to lock in a partial Guillotine, but Bailey fights back, takes Kenny’s back but Kenny fights up and pushes Bailey to the edge of the ring before stopping from just dumping him out. Arm Drag causes Kenny to powder and reevaluate.

Kenny grabs a foot, sweeps the leg and pushes Bailey out of the ring. Then Kenny doesn’t let Bailey back in, a Big Boot keeps him on the outside, so Kenny starts using the outside of the ring to his advantage since it’s no disqualification. They trade a few strikes, Bailey throws a kick, Kenny catches it, and throws Bailey over his shoulder face first into the ramp lights. Kenny then lowers a knee pad, Running Knee and Bailey is busted over. King is in control when we get back from the commercial, Bailey tries for some combo kicks but Kenny just grabs him and tosses him in a T-Bone suplex. Knee lifts and then a Dragon Screw is proving Kenny to be more than enough of a challenge. Eddy Gordo kick attempt, Bailey blocks and a straight kick to the chest sends Kenny flying to the outside.

King crawls back in and the Taekwondo exhibition is on full display. Kenny tries to defend, Bailey cartwheels past the guard and locks in a Cross Armbar. Kenny manages to get to his feet and turn it into a Power Bomb for a break. He tries to continue but Bailey grabs the arm again and bends it over the apron, eventually letting go because he’s just in a weird spot. Back in, Dragon Screw from Kenny sends Speedball reeling, and then catches him with a Blockbuster once he’s up.

Since it’s NoDQ, Kenny goes fishing for a weapons and finds a chair. King wants a Tiger Driver on the chair, Bailey fights out, tries to throw a kick but connects with the exposed post. Kenny sees the opening and throws on a Figure Four before the roll and counter all the way out of the ring. Straight Side Kick from Bailey drops King, Bailey goes full Muta and runs up the ramp, charges down for a flying kick which connects. Bailey then ascends the ropeless post and hits a Corkscrew Senton. Ultima Weapon attempt, King counters with a Field Goal kick, Spinebuster onto the apron, Spinning Wheel Kick and Kenny wants the referee to check for a KO. Bailey is still with it enough to not get called knocked out, Figure Four from Kenny. Bailey grabs the chair to break the hold, and fires up. Double Knees to Kenny’s chest, goes into full mount and starts raining down Elbows, the referee gets in the way to check but Kenny isn’t quite out. Bailey puts the chair on Kenny’s head and two swift short stomps is enough for the ref to call it. Speedball snapped a little.

Overall Score: 8/10

This did everything necessary to set up the next angles moving forward. The Major Players being wise to Moose’s angle, but not disagreeing is a nice wrinkle to the usual comically stupid “bad guys conspire” way most wrestling companies do it. Maclin continuing to get screwed is a nice gimmick to keep moving forward, Dreamer vs Bully could finally give us the return to Lockdown (it was supposed to happen in 2020 I know…but between covid and Tessa going crazy, it has been too long since Lockdown has been a show).

Also I did personally really enjoy the Kelly & Taylor match. Not only because they are both aesthetically pleasing, but because their similarities makes it so they could be a great team. Honestly vignettes with them and DeathDollz could be like the old Hardyz & Decay stuff. I do also love Speedball’s “nice polite guy” façade starting to crack. If he got more aggressive but didn’t necessarily go full heel, that could be really cool.

Honestly, really hard to find anything objectively bad. Even Santino and Ernest Miller was charming. Will Santino get grating? Yes, most likely. But currently its still nice since he hasn’t really done this gimmick in a hot minute. Good stuff from IMPACT.


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