Andrew looks high and low for quality matches. Unlike the Dora the Explorer live action movie, these don’t suck! Just…read the article.
Next week begins the Champion Carnival, Global Tag League, G1 Supercard and of course WrestleMania. But this week is…well…the end of March. But this will be the final week for March, so it’s safe to assume no one will agree with next week’s matches with everything going on. BUT THIS ISN’T NEXT WEEK!
Last week, New Japan Cup Finals: SANADA vs Kazuchika Okada, won for the week. But it’s very likely a WWE match wins this week.
Let’s see what made the Top 5!
5. SmackDown Live: SmackDown Women’s Championship: Asuka (c) vs Charlotte
Charlotte gets handed a match – wait – a match against Asuka – wait- a title match! Now this was a pretty damn good match, if there weren’t two commercial breaks and that picture in picture thing, the match might’ve ranked higher. Charlotte had a level of desperation and Asuka was a little quicker and frenetic with her movements compared to their match at last year’s WrestleMania. Not gonna lie, I expected Mandy Rose or Sonya Deville to interfere, but Charlotte winning is generally better. SmackDown’s women’s division is pretty depleted and awful with Becky and Charlotte on Raw, so instead of struggling to try and make an opponent for Asuka, give everyone a damn good match and put it on a perceived top talent. Maybe this leads to the Mania match being a unification match, but honestly Asuka is off the hook. People can’t be upset she lost the title when they poke fun at the fact that Asuka’s reign has been about as uninspired as Shinsuke’s first US reign.
Winner: Charlotte via Figure 8
Rating: *** 1/2
4. AJPW Yokohama Twilight Blues: Shuji Ishikawa, Kento Miyahara & Zeus vs Yuji Okabayashi, Yuma Aoyagi & Dylan James
A match intended to build up to Champion Carnival with many of the bigger names/heavy hitters. This match did kinda turn into “cheap shots on Kento”, but he deserved them all the same. He was dancing around at the beginning and Shuji just threw him out of the ring so they could start, then when Zeus came over for a tag, Kento started to pose to get the crowd to chant, so Zeus chopped him hard…which is a legal tag. Then he actually got hit by people who weren’t supposed to be his teammates, when Aoyagi started mimicking his taunts (the crowd even cheered more for Aoyagi, much to Kento’s dismay). Hell, Aoyagi even did the outside head lock around the ring post spot to Kento that Kento always does.
Zeus then waited for Kento to get backed into their corner, chopped him across the back as a legal tag and at some point during a big scrum Shuji ends up hitting Kento with a Running Knee and the referee is like “he’s your partner!”, Shuji just grinned sheepishly. So it was a solid match and a lot of fun moments to build tension yet keep the crowd entertained at the same time.
Definitely a different tone than many other companies take with their preliminary matches, but it was hard to be mad.
Winner: Shuji via Splash Mountain
Rating: *** 1/2
3. GHC Junior Heavyweight Tag Title Match: Stinger (Kotaro Suzuki & Yoshinari Ogawa) (c) vs Minoru Tanaka & Hi69
After picking up a victory at the Hakata Star Lane Memorial show, Hi69 set out a challenge for the tag belts. Tanaka and Hi69 started off quickly, culminating in Hi69 hitting a Stuka Splash, driving Suzuki through a table. But once the match got back in the ring, it was less lopsided. Suzuki ate a lot of offense from both Hi69 and Tanaka. Tanaka kept trying the Cross Armbreaker, but Suzuki found ways out of it three times. Ending the match with Requiem countering the last Cross Armbreaker attempt. Since Tanaka is the Junior Heavyweight Champion, Suzuki earned himself a shot at the singles title, and made that challenge known to Minoru after the match.
Winner: Suzuki via Requiem
Rating: *** 3/4
ROH: ROH Tag Team Titles: The Briscoes vs Villain Enterprises (c)
Winner: Brisoces via DQ
Rating: *** 1/4
AJPW: Jake Lee & Yoshitatsu vs Suwama & Naoya Nomura
Winner: Suwama via Manriki Sleeper
Rating: *** 1/4
205 Live: Noam Dar vs Mark Haskins
Winner: No Contest
Rating: *** 1/4
NXT: Forgotten Sons vs Ricochet & Aleister Black
Winner: Black via Black Mass
NOAH: Masaaki Mochizuki, Masa Kitamiya & Yoshiki Inamura vs 50 Funky Powers (Muhammad Yone & Quiet Storm) & Naomichi Marufuji
Winner: Yone via Funky Buster Bomb
Against All Odds: Killer Kross vs Brian Cage
Winner: Kross via Doomsday Saito
2. AXIZ (Katsuhiko Nakajima & Go Shiozaki) & HAYATA vs Kaito Kiyomiya, Kenoh & YO-HEY
The trash talk started flying with the upcoming Tag League. AXIZ are the current Heavyweight Tag Team Champions, Kenoh and Kaito put a mark on them as the ‘wanted team’. So they are building up the feud between those four, along with the marital discord of YO-HEY and HAYATA (YO-HEY used to refer to HAYATA as wife when they were teaming together). So this match achieved a lot of story progress, as well as giving Nakajima a pinfall over the current GHC Heavyweight Champion Kaito Kiyomiya. So Nakajima should have a title shot upcoming after the tag league. Shiozaki and Nakajima seem to really enjoy one another’s company and make a great team. If they main event circled around Kaito, Kenoh, Go and Katsuhiko for the remainder of 2019, I see no issue with that. Fans seem to appreciate all four, and all four are young enough to help build NOAH into the future.
Winner: Nakajima via Vertical Spike
Rating: *** 3/4
1. SmackDown Live: Tag Team Gauntlet
SmackDown returns, and the final team is… Daniel Bryan & Rowan! The WWE Champion and his Big Redwood Bodyguard won’t let Kofi have a chance, and they go right after Big E and Woods! The brawl is on, but it turns into a beating as Rowan throws Woods out. Bryan goes after Big E’s bad leg while Rowan whips Woods into barriers. Rowan then throws Woods into the LED apron while Bryan slings Big E’s leg into a post! Fans boo as Bryan toys with Big E. Bryan stomps Big E but Big E fights back. Big E throws hands on Rowan then on Bryan and back again! Bryan gets the legs and brings Big E down into a Half Crab!
Big E endures this submission all over again, but Bryan shifts for an inverted type so he can put all his weight on the leg. Woods missile dropkicks Bryan off! Rowan throws Woods out but Woods comes back with an enziguri! Woods dumps Rowan out then FLIES to take him out! The viewing party has hope again as Big E catches Bryan’s knee, for a BIG URENAG-E! The straps come down and Big E aims at Bryan from the corner. Bryan stands and Big E scoops, BIG ENDING! Cover, but Rowan breaks it! Woods returns but Rowan blasts him back out. Rowan tags in and aims at Big E. Rowan scoops Big E for his own urenage and covers, TWO!? Bryan can’t believe Big E survived, but he orders Rowan to clear off the announce desk!
Rowan and Bryan clear the table and even toss arm chairs around. Bryan runs at Woods bot Woods elbows him back, then goes to the apron. Woods hits Bryan with a tornado DDT! But Rowan clamps his claw onto Woods! Woods slips out and dodges Rowan! Woods sends Rowan into the post, then so does Big E! Big E clotheslines Rowan over the announce desk! Then dumps it on Rowan!! The New Day get back to the ring as the ring count begins! The count passes 5 but there’s no movement. It hits 10, the New Day wins!!
Winner: New Day
Much like I said in my analysis, this week belongs to The New Day. Yes some people checked out since it was ANOTHER gauntlet match, some people thought it was a week or two late, but they did capture a real emotional moment. Could Vince McMahon try to screw Kofi one more time, yes. But taking the moment for what it seemed to be, it was great.
So my vote goes the SmackDown Gauntlet match.
King: Plotting The Return Of Randy Orton To WWE
Chris King is back with his look at the best scenario to bring Randy Orton back to WWE, and the perfect opponent for his first big match back.
Chris King is back with his look at the best scenario to bring Randy Orton back to WWE, and the perfect opponent for his first big match back.
I wanted to bring everyone’s attention to a superstar that’s being overshadowed right now, ‘The Viper’ Randy Orton. After RKBRO lost the Raw Tag Team Championships to The Uso’s, Orton vanished from the company. There was speculation about his serious back injury and, it wasn’t until The Viper’s wife herself posted a candid picture of Orton after successful surgery.
While the focus in WWE right now is either on The Bloodline, Bray Wyatt and Uncle Howdy, or the returning Cody Rhodes, I felt this was a good time to start plotting The Viper’s return to WWE.
Randy Orton’s Return to WWE
On the Raw-After-Mania ‘The American Nightmare’ opens the show after a tough battle over Roman Reigns to win the WWE Championship. Rhodes with tears in his eyes is giving an emotional promo about his family’s legacy, and how much this title means to him. The WWE Universe is chanting “You Deserve It,” and out comes Finn Balor flanked by The Judgement Day.
‘The Prince’ starts by congratulating the new champion for dethroning ‘The Tribal Chief’ but, now he wants his title shot. Rhodes being the resilient hero accepts Balor’s challenge for the main event. The American Nightmare and The Prince are putting on a clinic of a match, delivering multiple finishers but unable to put the other away. Judgement Day starts to interfere when Orton’s music blares throughout the arena. Orton takes out the heels and helps his former protege. Rhodes capitalizes and hits Crossroads for the 1.2.3.
The former Legacy members are celebrating and embracing with a hug as Rhodes goes to raise his newly-won title. In the blink of an eye, The Viper strikes and takes out Rhodes with an RKO Outta Nowhere! The champion is knocked out as Orton hoists the title above his head while trash-talking his now rival. Orton violently throws Rhodes out of the ring and delivers a nasty-looking draping DDT onto the floor.
The Build–And Culmination–of Randy Orton vs. Cody Rhodes
Orton stares giving 2009 vibes as Rhodes’ head raises, so The Viper runs and delivers a punt kick. WWE officials come out and break things up and the champion is stretchered out of the arena. The show closes with Orton grinning over the destruction he has caused to his former protege. Over the next few months, Orton and Rhodes enter into an extremely personal rivalry over the coveted prize. We finally make it to SummerSlam where both men agree to raise the stakes and do war inside HELL IN A CELL!!!!
This is how I would book The Viper’s return to WWE. If you feel like this should be written differently, I’d love to hear your thoughts!
AJ’s Phenomenal Opinion: Bray Wyatt
So everyone loves Bray’s return right? Right? Well the McDonald’s Sprite spicy opinions of AJ…may feel differently.
Well, just because my work schedule changed, doesn’t mean I’m not going to drop some opinions of mine, of which, I haven’t done too bad with. I got Three out of Five for my returns right a few months back and this is going to be about the last entry on that previous list. I knew for a fact that Bray Wyatt would return to the WWE in some way shape or form and time for some… controversy.
As my favorite ratings winner of 83 Weeks once said, Controversy Creates Cash and boy HOWDY… Do I have something to get off my chest here so sit back, order some Chairshot Merch and lets get on with Adam’s… Rants for a bit.
Bray coming in and making a return to the WWE was an inevitability. Death, Taxes and I guess WWE Returns are always guaranteed anymore and maybe we could get some new creativity with a supernatural gimmick. Bray has always had that supernatural to him ever since he had the Wyatt Family in Erik Rowan, the late Luke Harper and in the end, Braun Strowman. The Wyatt’s had a control like no other and were beloved for a moment in the WWE.
Bray did a lot to make sure things were in motion but for some reason any massive feud he had, he failed. Following a bunch of injuries to the rest of his family and even releases later on, he seemed to at least get some traction going for him. WWE Champion, somehow got Randy Orton with him, Universal Championships and got those big match wins that eluded him in the Wyatt Family beginnings. Let me also say this as well, I actually liked the Firefly Funhouse Match with Cena as a “This is Your Life” match of sorts. I was tickled and entertained… Then much like Bray in character, something changed.
Dark and Terrible Lurk with Fiends
We had a lot to figure out during the Pandemic. Like A WHOLE HELL OF A LOT. Through it all though, WWE figured it out but the person that helped these types of ideas, soured them drastically. Lets go back to the WWE Championship run in 2017. Randy Orton won the Royal Rumble that year and he wouldn’t betray Bray, right? Well he does and Mania for the two is set, Orton against Wyatt for the WWE Championship and it was… terrible. Random images of maggots and decay (Not the IMPACT Stable) popping up into the ring as the match goes on and Randy still wins. Through head game attempts, Bray comes up short in the big match moment. That’s odd but maybe it will be a bigger pictu– and Jinder Mahal wins the Championship. Okay.
Wyatt returns as this Mister Rogers character and has a darkness inside of him with The Fiend. Now we had this amazing theory or maybe that’s what happened but the story was, anyone The Fiend fought, they revert back to their best selves. The Miz returned to be the A Lister, the guy who grabs a microphone that you love to hate. Finn Balor doesn’t have the Demon Gimmick anymore because after his loss, he’s the Prince again. The cocky guy that walks around because he is the best, he gives no care in the world. Seth Rollins, who he took the WWE Universal Championship from, went from a dorky sweetheart back to the asshole taking every opportunity that he could get because he’s that much of a weasel and when he lost… He lost to Goldberg. The one guy that has been the same since 1997. Drums, Pyro Bath, Spear, Jackhammer, “Who’s Next?” and during that time, he sucked at points. One of those Rollins matches was in a Hell In A Cell match, the red cage with the red lighting. Match ending with a Stoppage from the referee… INSIDE OF A HELL IN A CELL (I think Sean Waltman said it best… Why did the match stop? It’s supposed to be Hell?) and it’s one of the rare times that I agreed with wrestling’s favorite Uncle… That was Negative Stars for a match.
After Goldberg, he didn’t have a commanding presence. He recruited Alexa Bliss who was already over whether she was a Heel or Face and made everything so unbelievably… boring. Alexa had to carry that idiotic demon gimmick and doll, not having anything really supernatural. Just some wrestling and Brock Lesnar cleaning up everything faster than a Chop Shop in main events and segments. He tried to return and make his grand return, beating the Universal Champion Braun Strowman at Summerslam just to falter a literal week later to Roman Reigns, who proceeded to never look back from that win. Bray gets fired after and no more supernatural ideas. Undertaker isn’t around really and retires, Kane is a mayor. Paul Bearer is no longer with us and everything is just… normal.
Wyatt’s Six (Reasons I Tune Out)
In 2022, Vince retires seemingly from everything and Triple H is at the helm, could he bring balance to everything? He makes a bunch of returns that people love seeing. Johnny Gargano, Dakota Kai, Tegan Nox, Bronson Reed, Dexter Lumus just to name a few and of course, the big one that everyone wanted. Bray Wyatt.
Bray makes this heartfelt return and everything seems great. We get him as him, he makes this weird build to a Wyatt 6, assuming we think it’s the Firefly Funhouse and he’s just talking, building. Alright well who is going to be these six figures because they are more than just puppets this time around. A masked man named Uncle Howdy that people think is Vincent Marseglia or maybe a bearded Bo Dallas who is Bray’s real life brother and he……… pops in and out to confuse people. Okay… (1)
Alexa might return to the 6 because of all the segments and gets darker and a heel. Alright that is perfectly fine but, WHY IS VINCENT DALLAS HERE AGAIN TO JUST INTERFERE WITH RANDOM THINGS? Okay… fine. (2) Alexa has a Women’s Championship match against Bianca Belair, that will make sense of thi– it’s a clean finish… Why is it clean? No Howdy, No Wyatt just a random VHS tape like I’m watching The Ring about her being dark after the match. Okay…… (3)
Oh Wyatt finally gets a feud for his return. I almost forgot about that! Who will be this first victim? LA Knight.
Maybe this will be good. They are both great on the microphone, maybe Bray has new moves that he can do and I know all too well how good LA Knight is, I have been an Eli Drake/Shaun Ricker fan for years. This could be a great match that they have, they announced it for the Royal Rumble so it’s going to be big and it’s a… Pitch Black Match presented by Mountain Dew.
The Royal Rumble is upon us, the Men’s Rumble starts the show and we all have adrenaline in our soul for it and now is this weird Pitch Black Match and it’s not a cinematic match. It’s in the ring, No Count Outs and No Disqualifications. LA Knight comes out in his iconic Yellow Attire and Wyatt is talking… with a mask on. The lights turn off and the ropes are glowing a neon greenish-yellow… with an announce table spot that… has Nickelodeon Slime inside of it when they break it? Okay fine… I knew the match was going to be dumb and gimmicky from the Mountain Dew Sponsorship. Bray wins, yay. LA Knight comes back with a Kendo Stick and… we get invulnerable Bray again… they don’t hurt. Lets go to this crash pad and Bo Marseglia shows up from somewhere and just elbow drops him from maybe fifteen to twenty feet with pyro and the Firefly Funhouse Puppets appear at the top, to watch a fire… And there is number six…
Actual Thoughts on Current Bray Wyatt, Post Rumble
I absolutely hate it.
This was awful. You build whatever insignificant thought process of the Wyatt 6 has going for it when Uncle Howdy does the best Cap’n Shane O elbow drop for a hellfire effect. At least the pyro was better than the AEW Explosion Match I guess…
Regardless, how does LA Knight come out of all of this moving forward? He lost an idiotic gimmick match and looks presumed dead. This just makes me think that whoever in whatever interview said Bray Wyatt is a creative mastermind needs to put whatever they have down before we hear about their T.O.D. posted somewhere. This Pitch Black Match is somehow worse than that Rollins Hell in a Cell Match and that takes talent. At least a good amount of alcohol lulled that from my brain but this made me remember that and enjoy the thought of that match happening with its finish. The best way I can picture how this was pitched was Burnt Dogshit, wrapped in a Kerosine Blanket with… sorry had to look at what I wrote, not putting that on websites but… people saw a Creative Quesadilla and when we got the actual product, it gave Salmonella poisoning and E Coli at the same time.
I really don’t want to see another Bray Wyatt match… again. Whoever gave him creative, take it away immediately. As much steam as Bray Wyatt gets in promos or possible matches in the past, the only steaming he gets at the end, is steaming piles of shit. You can say, he’s getting paid millions where I’m a little troll on the internet with typing power and I really don’t care but to me, Triple H… you finally got your first failing grade with something in your leadership role in WWE.
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