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Impact Coverage

Andrew’s Impact Wrestling Ratings & Analysis 6/21/2019

With Slammiversary two weeks away, Impact Wrestling looks to keep their build strong. A big Triple Threat could give the winner a lot of momentum for the PPV. 

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With Slammiversary two weeks away, Impact Wrestling looks to keep their build strong. A big Triple Threat could give the winner a lot of momentum for the PPV.

Moose is trying to build his confidence against RVD, so he has a match against Tommy Dreamer. Styles are nothing alike, but I guess since he’s a former ECW guy it’ll help. Sure…

Aside from that, the Heavyweight and Knockouts Championship scenes are in good positions. Plus we’ve got this intergender war that Tessa seems to be spear heading. So a lot of moving pieces tonight.

Let’s see where it all goes!

-But first-

Don’t pass on Impact, just join Konnan and the boys in Iran.

Ratings:

  • Jake Crist vs Tessa Blanchard: Tessa wins via Magnum – ***
  • Eddie Edwards vs Madman Fulton: Fulton wins via Lifting Reverse STO – **
  • Moose vs Tommy Dreamer: Moose wins via Spear – * 1/2
  • Knockouts Championship Match: Su Yung vs Taya Valkyrie (c): Taya retains via DQ – * 1/2
  • Ace Austin vs TJP: TJP wins via Detonation Kick – **
  • Rich Swann vs Johnny Impact vs Michael Elgin: Swann wins via 450 Splash – *** 1/2

 

Analysis:

Solid ring work, but the story was very easy to follow. Jake’s job was to make an example of Tessa and every time she kicked out, Jake got more concerned. Not about Tessa, but about what Sami would say/do after the match. So Jake really just tries to get Sami’s approval and failed at his mission to take out Tessa. As we know from her Wrestle Circus match with Brian Cage, Tessa hands well in intergender matches. So these should all be good matches against oVe.

Match started fast…sortuv. Edwards took it to Madman and they brawled for a few minutes on the outside, even though that was technically before the bell. After the match officially started Edwards’ speed gave him a bit of an edge, and then he went for Kenny 2.0. Killer Kross shows up on the Tron and is apparently waterboarding The Sandman in a janitors closet, which distracts Eddie. So distracted Eddie gets eaten up with Fulton’s End of Days, and then after selling a bit he goes to the back to try and find Kross and Sandman.

This has been a no nonsense start to IMPACT with third match in the first 45 minutes. As a match however, this leaves something to be desired. Moose just needed an ECW original to kinda send a message to RVD I guess. It was plodding, messy, the chair coming into play and the referee technically having full knowledge and letting the match continue is awkward. This was really just a filler match before the RVD match at Slammiversary, but this was pretty lame.

Well there was a good assumption that this was going to end in shenanigans, but the match itself was really boring. We see Taya dominate a good bit of the match, her personality and posing was on display. Su didn’t really do much, so Havok interfering felt forced and awkward. Rosemary shows up to stop Havok and Su from ganging up on Taya, but then James Mitchell announces the 4 Way Monsters Ball match at Slammiversary for the Knockouts Title.

Ace Austin comes out to issue an open challenge since he’s undefeated. So we know where this is headed. Cocky bragging turns into TJP’s big return match. It was fast paced, not a lot of time to catch your breath, but not bad. Too quick to be considered “good”, but this will probably build towards one of those ” I wasn’t ready” excuses for a rematch with more time. An alright re-debut for TJP, but the match was a building block match.

IMPACT Plus Flashback Moment: Pentagon vs Sami Callihan, Mask vs Hair at Slammiversary, July 22, 2018

After the Flashback moment, Eddie finds Kross, and attacks him. Alisha tries to stop him, Kross begs him to continue and well…Eddie bites Kross? His fact comes up bloody, then he goes for a stomp and it cuts to black. Did Eddie Mike Tyson Killer Kross, did he kill him…did he…eat him? I don’t know what I watched. You decide:

Impact main events have been really impressive last few weeks and this one fell a little short of that mark, but not by much. Many moves missed by just a hair or looked too cooperative to really get full marks, but it was a fun match. Swann getting the pin on Johnny was a spot. John E. Bravo comes out to help Johnny beat down Rich. Elgin doesn’t want Johnny to use the big red X, but doesn’t seem against destroying Swann. But Brian Cage’s music hits, and comes out with a plan. Gorilla Press tosses Johnny out of the ring, has a quick back and forth with Elgin and then does the full Kevin Nash putting the cigarette out flair, before hitting a Jack Knife Powerbomb on Elgin.

 

Overall Score: 6.5/10

Impact versus technology man. The Impact Plus Flashback Moment was labeled was Cage vs Sydal: X Division Title, Slammiversary, July 22, 2019. These tech guys need to go back to Vo Tech or wherever they are finding them at. Kindergartners with a See N Say, a 1998 Gateway Computer and a half a box of crayons could do more consistent work.

Tech issues aside, the show wasn’t bad. A lot of matches in a two hours, some may not have been great quality, but they all moved stories along. TJP and his re-debut. Brian Cage’s big surprise return. Definitely a good show around the two week marker until Slammiversary.

Twitch Views:

  • 5/3/2019 – LOW: 4,000/HIGH 6,550
  • 5/10/2019 – LOW: 3,800/HIGH: 7,130
  • 5/17/2019 – LOW: 6,900/HIGH: 12,220
  • 5/24/2019 – LOW: 5,200/HIGH: 10,070
  • 5/31/2019 – LOW: 4,550/HIGH: 8,075
  • 6/7/2019 – LOW: 7,100/HIGH: 13,606
  • 6/14/2019 – LOW: 3,400/HIGH: 8,250
  • 6/21/2019 – LOW: 3,460/HIGH: 4,630

WOW, the views hit the tank this week. This was the worst week since being on Twitch for Impact. Not sure if it’s because of Summer, technical issues last few weeks may have annoyed people or whatever, but this is surprising. After a strong May, June is falling off the mountain faster than the dad in the new season of The Detour.

But hell, the shows have still been good, Slammiversary is getting pretty good build, so I’m still excited for what they’re building towards. The views don’t reflect the quality currently, but maybe if they get that new TV deal we can see some things change.


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Andrew’s IMPACT Results & Match Ratings: 2.2.2023

Impact has a new number one contender, a few new signings and setting up for No Surrender. Lets see what happens tonight!

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We’re coming off of Rich Swann becoming the number one contender, Joe Hendry creating another banger of a parody song and Bully Ray…being more like Bitchy Ray.

Also lets not overlook the fact that Dirty Dango officially signed with IMPACT as well. Which may not be huge, but with the current addition of Santino Marella, Dango being involved in storylines for the foreseeable; there could be some good comedy in store.

There we go, a bunch of stuff got set in motion; but we could always see some interesting wrinkles or just straight forward boredom. Only one way to find out! BUT FIRST! Raven is getting The Flock back together…maybe?

Ratings:

  • Bullet Club (Ace & Bey) vs Kevin Knight & Kushida: Ace & Bey win via 1-2-Sweet – ***
  • Gisele Shaw w/Jai Vidal vs Savannah Evans: Gisele wins via Denouement – ** 1/4
  • Crazzy Steve w/ Black Taurus vs Sheldon Jean: Steve wins via King Kill 33 – N/A
  • Johnny Swinger w/Zicky Dice vs Kenny King: Kenny wins via Royal Flush – N/A
  • The Design (Kon, Deaner, Angels & Callihan) vs Josh Alexander, Frankie Kazarian, Yuya Uemura & Rich Swann: Callihan wins via Cactus Driver ’97 – ** 1/2

 

Results:

Bullet Club (Ace & Bey) vs Kevin Knight & Kushida

As much as I like Ace & Bey, a part of me would like MCMG versus Kushida and his new partner.

Early on its just counters, posing to the crowd and getting themselves over until Bey manages to sweep the leg, slingshot over the top rope for a stomp and take over a little. Knight manages to avoid a corner move, one legged Springboard Body Press, Jumping Frog Splash, and then a quick tag to Kushida. Some tandem moves from Kushida and Knight as Knight continues to mix it up with Bey.

Ace distracts Knight before the Springboard and Bey meets him in midair with a Dropkick and gets Ace in for some tandem offense and then Ace starts setting the pace. Double Arm Wringer into a tandem Back Rake. Then they wrestle Knight to the ground and keep him down for another Back Rake. Ace continues to set the pace and keep Knight mostly on the receiving end, until Knight rolls out of a lift, Ricky to Robert roll, Kushida gets the hot tag and starts clearing the ring. Bey tries Art of Finesse, Kushida catches him in a Flying Armbar but Bey turns it into a Cradle to get Kushida to break.

Electric Chair from Kushida, but before Knight can hit his Dropkick, Ace slides in and catches Knight on his back. Chicken Fight before Kushida and Knight finally hit their Tandem move but Ace makes the save. Ace wipes out Kushida, Knight forces Ace out, tries to go for a Plancha, but Bey was crotched on the top rope. As Knight tries to Plancha, Bey hits a Cutter out of nowhere on the apron. Ace sees the opening, 1-2-Sweet for the win!

Steph De Lander video package…that’s a pretty decent grab for IMPACT.

Gisele Shaw w/Jai Vidal vs Savannah Evans

Gisele faces off with Savannah and slaps her in the face a few times and refuses to back down. Savannah of course fires back, but when Gisele gets violent is when she’s at her best. After a big toss, Gisele powders, confers with Jai and the commercial kicks in. When we get back, Gisele has the advantage. But Savannah takes the short arm pull in, Side Slam for effect and distance.

Now they start trading strikes, that Savannah wins that war. A few short Lariats, Samoan Drop, and Gisele is reeling. Retreats to the corner, tries to stop Savannah with the Back Elbow, but eats a Spinebuster when she tries to continue. Fisherman’s Suplex Hold from Savannah for 2, Full Nelson Slam attempt, but Jai hits the apron and tries to seduce the referee as a distraction. Gisele hits the Denouement (Knee Strike) for the win.

The crowd is actively booing Gisele, but she powers through for her promo. It wasn’t great, but I’ll give her some credit for pushing through. 

Crazzy Steve w/ Black Taurus vs Sheldon Jean

Sheldon Jean continues the arrogance, though he’s a nobody enhancement talent. It would be nice if some of these enhancement talent wrestlers didn’t all have that same arrogant persona. We all know Steve is going to win, this is just a storytelling tool to probably add to the Trey Miguel stuff.

Steve is entertaining, but this match is more predictable than most things. He hits King Kill 33, but apparently it’s called Belladonna’s Kiss now. Trey jumps Taurus, tries to spray paint Steve, but Steve bites him and spray paints himself causing Trey to powder out of confusion/fear.

Bully comes out to complain as has been his thing the last few weeks. But thankfully Mickie returns the favor from last week and interrupts Bully. Verbal jabs, Bully Ray insults Mickie, Mickie slaps him, Bully slams her and calls in the Good Hands to get the tables. Tommy Dreamer makes a save with a kendo stick. Good Hands vs Mickie & Tommy next week. 

Oh good, this is exactly what I wanted from a few weeks ago! Kelly and Taylor will be a great team.

Johnny Swinger w/Zicky Dice vs Kenny King

Some goofy posturing and general Swinger antics. Eddy Gordo kick into Royal Flush, and Kenny gets the obvious win.

Bully has a segment in the back with Masha, and it seems like he’s a little smitten while he was trying to just manipulate her emotions to pick up the pieces after or during the tag match next week. 

Cardona and Myers try to make their own diss track song…and it was awful. It was supposed to be bad, and yes, it achieved that. It was like Miz and Morrison, without comedic talent.

The Design (Kon, Deaner, Angels & Callihan) vs Josh Alexander, Frankie Kazarian, Yuya Uemura & Rich Swann

Deaner barks at Callihan to start against Swann, then commands him to tag out, and a multi-man match is always a little bit of everyone gets moments. So its just odd that the heel team will be dictated by Deaner to a degree. Uemura comes in second and he reminds me so much of a young Tanahashi its crazy. Deaner calls for the tag and squares off against Josh now.

An attempted jumping in the corner, but Josh gets space and it turns into all 8 men in at once. Josh goes right after Kon and tries to assert his dominance on the “power” of The Design. After the commercial, Uemura gets rocked but Kaz saves him with a blind tag and hits some of his classic moves on Angels and Callihan. Swann comes in but Deaner and Kon manage to ground Swann and put the momentum back in the hands on The Design.

Some stupid spots take away a little from the match while Swann is getting worked over. Swann slaps his leg when he eats a Dropkick from Angels, then tries to Leapfrog Deaner and jump to his corner, Deaner grabs him away but it just looks silly and like it was never going to work to begin with. Its the optime of doing too much and hurting the match. Josh eventually gets a hot tag, tags a square off with Kon, throws him around and King Kong Knee drops Kon. Ankle Lock gives the near fall but Kon kicks off, Uemura tags himself in, Callihan gets the tag, is about to finish off Uemura; but Deaner stops the Thumbs Up – so Josh breaks up the offense and we get all 8 men pulls off high impact moves.

Cactus Driver attempt, Uemura hits the Enzuigiri to stun Callihan. Goes to the top, Deaner trips Uemura, Cactus Driver ’97 wins the match.

 

Overall Score: 5/10

This was a weird episode. The only match worth watching was the opening tag match, the rest were predictable, boring or just had dumb spots in them. Backstage segments however, those were pretty great. The problem though, is they built off of either inside jokes, old WCW knowledge or not shutting off cringe immediately.

So while I loved the Raven & Reese segment, Kelly & Taylor, and found some amusement in the Cardona stuff…its really subjective and not exactly friendly to an uninitiated viewer. We got an episode that catered to already existing fans, which isn’t how to grow a brand.

Even though I enjoyed things for the most part, this was a lame episode from the perspective of retaining new eyes.


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Andrew’s IMPACT Results & Match Ratings: 1.26.2023

This episode is gonna be a real dice roll. A shaky card means that the segments really need to make up for the lack of engagement on paper. Does it get there?

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I have no real clue what to make of this episode. With a throw away X Division Championship match and most likely a Knockouts Tag to just perpetuate the Gisele is a shitty human concept, I don’t see a lot of hope for this episode outside of the main event.

Every now and then there’s a head scratching klunker from IMPACT because they get too wrapped up in their gimmicks and sometimes they all coalesce in the same episode. Hopefully we can salvage some entertainment in the first like 90 minutes as to not be struggle bussing to the final match.

At least the teaser for Gisele’s partner seems to have potential.

Ratings:

  • X Division Championship: Trey Miguel (c) vs Mike Jackson: Trey retains via Lightning Spiral – *
  • The Good Hands vs KUSHIDA & Kevin Knight: Kushida wins via Hoverboard Lock – **
  • Knockouts Tag Team Championship: Death Dollz (Taya Valkyrie & JesSICKa w/ Rosemary) (c) vs Gisele Shaw & Tara w/Jai Vidal: Death Dollz retain via Assisted Sickishi Driver – **
  • Major Players (Brian Myers & Matt Cardona) vs Bullet Club (Ace & Bey): Ace wins via Prawn Hold – ** 1/4
  • Jonathan Gresham vs Sheldon Jean: Gresham wins via Sliding D – *
  • Golden 6 Shooter Elimination: Rhino vs Moose vs Chris Sabin vs Callihan vs Rich Swann vs Eddie Edwards: Rich Swann wins via 450 Splash – *** 1/4

 

Results:

X Division Championship: Trey Miguel (c) vs Mike Jackson

Mike Jackson gets a few moments of Running Shoulder Tackles to knock down Trey since Trey is taking the challenge lightly. A near fall into some shoving and feigning an apology. Jackson is still a moron in his old age and takes the handshake bait to get snuck in the jaw.

Jackson does the straps down, back elbows, swinging Neckbreaker and then goes for some kind of punch combination and gets countered. Its very hard to care about this match since who’s really going to put a title on a 76 year old man. Mike Jackson does the Oldest School, Prayer Walk…whatever you want to call it – before Trey pulls him down and starts kicking him around. Jacky Bryant Kick, into Lightning Spiral…and who cares.

After the match Trey looks under the ring for his spray paint, finds Crazzy Steve already tagged up and taunting Trey. Black Taurus comes out when Trey tries to powder, and I guess Decay isn’t done with Trey yet. 

The Good Hands vs KUSHIDA & Kevin Knight

Skyler starts off for the Good Hands, Knight technically starts but very quick tags. Tandem Arm Wringers and strikes until Skyler manages to powder, get chased and find a way to tag out and start working over Kushida. Hotch pulls off a Chaos Theory German Suplex, so I’m a fan of him now…and they do the tandem cover as Skyler hits the Jacknife cover for 2.

Kushida manages to get some space, tag out and Knight comes in with a hot tag and starts flying around. Some quick work, Cartwheel Dropkick from Kushida. Electric Chair/Dropkick combo as Knight wipes out Hotch and Kushida sinks in the Hoverboard Lock on Skyler.

Knockouts Tag Team Championship: Death Dollz (Taya Valkyrie & JesSICKa w/ Rosemary) (c) vs Gisele Shaw & Tara w/Jai Vidal

Tara comes out and JesSICKa starts bowing, Tara is emotional, Taya looks a little awe struck and actually respectfully shakes hands. Death Dollz are playing the perfect babyface role early on.

It looks like Taya and Tara are going to start, but before they touch, Gisele tags her out like a good heel should. Taya and JesSICKa are both mad they don’t get to wrestle with Tara, so there moves have a little more oomph. Tara keeps holding her hand out for a tag but Gisele is ignoring her and actually says no when Tara tries to ask for the tag.

Tara is trying to be a good sport but Gisele’s ego has her refuse to tag in Tara multiple times. Gisele disrespects Tara by using her old taunt and hitting the Spider Web only for 2. She plays to the crowd asking if they want Tara and then disrespects Tara. Tara walks in to argue while the Death Dollz are…eating popcorn. This is wonderful. Gisele slaps Tara and tries to talk more shit, Tara snaps and Widow’s Peak…the Dollz throw their popcorn and look shocked. Assisted Sickishi Driver and the Dollz retain with an assist to a fed up Tara.

Major Players (Brian Myers & Matt Cardona) vs Bullet Club (Ace & Bey)

Bey gets the best of Cardona early, tags in Ace and we see some solid tandem work with sweeps, kicks, Double Sentons, a lot of fluid Junior style movement. The Majors manage to catch Ace watching both of them, Myers pulls him face first into a rope and then they start working over Ace.

Ace finally rocks Cardona after eating offense for a few minutes, Bey takes the hot tag, cleans house, does a little homage to Shinsuke Nakamura before hitting Cardona with a Jumping Uppercut in the corner. Bey is rolling until Myers scoops Ace off the apron; which distracts Bey, so Cardona catches him with a Lariat and shifts the momentum. Reboot into a Guillotine Leg Drop for 2. Bey manages to defend, Ace tags, hits a rolling Headscissors, they try to set up a 1-2-Sweet but Bey is rocked so he’s slow to the spot. Cardona blocks, a little back and forth before Ace rocks Cardona with a Triangle Kick. Bey turns it into a Victory Roll, but Bey isn’t legal, so Ace tries to pull things apart and quickly figure out a Prawn Hold of sorts to get a sloppy victory.

Jonathan Gresham vs Sheldon Jean

Still surprised Gresham lost to Eddie, but I guess more enhancement matches are how to get right.

As much as Hannifan is trying to go over Sheldon’s resume, no one is buying it. He’s enhancement talent who’s acting cocky but getting relatively worked over. Gresham shows Sheldon what a chainsaw does to a tree, hyperextends his tree, Sliding D to the back of the head…Gresham wins.

Golden 6 Shooter Elimination: Rhino vs Moose vs Chris Sabin vs Callihan vs Rich Swann vs Eddie Edwards

Early tie ups, turn into Moose and Rhino standing off, then Sabin and Rhino…and we just get a little bit of revolving door of square offs. Definitely a little silly to try and go through the play by play here since it’s just different pair offs and a handful of high spots. Callihan gets set up for a Gore but Moose takes the shot to hit Rhino with Lights Out before the Gore. Callihan wipes out Moose and pins Rhino, to eliminate him first.

Moose stacks Swann and Sabin on the top corner, Okada Dropkick hits both, Eddie attacks Moose, Sabin takes advantage of the distraction for a Tornado DDT, but only 2. Sabin keeps the momentum against Eddie and Callihan before we get more interesting spots from everyone taking out 2 people. Swann looks to take out Callihan but Eddie crotches Swann, Gamengiri, Backpack…nope, Swann slips it, face kick, Sabin tries something but Eddie with the Inside Out Side Slam, Powerbombs Swann into Sabin for 2. Eddie looks to Tiger Driver Sabin but no, counter backslide, rope run, Pop Up Flapjack, Tiger Driver finally hits…but only 2. Eddie lines up Boston Knee Party but PCO’s music hits and PCO is pointing at Eddie through the sea of security. Distract Eddie eats a Yakuza Kick from Sabin, Head and Arm Cradle to eliminate Eddie Edwards.

Moose clocks Sabin, a few big strikes and an Uranage for 2. Moose is trying to put Sabin away quickly. Corner charge, Sabin moves, Flying Enzuigiri, Tornado…nope…Lights Out, Chris Sabin is eliminated. Callihan, Swann and Moose are now all in and just trading strikes and headbutts. Back and forth, Callihan throws Swann into the ropes, Lethal Injection…but Callihan powders. Moose kicks out Swann’s leg and starts trying to work over the leg. Great limb work…damn Moose even breaks out a Dragon Screw and then starts just punching the right knee relentlessly. Moose locks in some Stump Puller variation to continue the torture. Moose gets a little cocky, keeps trying to lift on the leg but Swann tucks, rolls and hits the Victory Roll to eliminate Moose.

The Design walks out to tell Callihan to take out Swann as the last step. Callihan goes for a Stretch Muffler on the good leg, Rich counters with a Cradle variation for 2. Swann then starts rocking Callihan with Vader Hammers, Swann tries to fire, kick to the gut, Powerbomb into an Ankle Lock on the back leg. Thumbs Up, Thumbs…kicked in the face. Rich keeps throwing kicks, finally drops Callihan, 450 Splash to eliminate Callihan.

 

Overall Score: 6/10

Only one decent wrestling match, but a few high points through the show. Death Dollz eating popcorn as Tara snaps to the disrespect, Tasha and Savannah finally breaking up, Maclin with a solid point in his promo and of course Hendry’s new song. Major Players will always be Edge’s Bitches to me as well Joe.

Aside from that, the show was a little slow and with predictable matches, the little moments had to really hit to keep some of the entertainment investment. Mike Jackson may be an amusing story, but it was totally worthless. Zero suspension of disbelief.

Not a terrible episode, but not a super strong one either. If you’ve been following IMPACT for a while, the show was better than a purely uninitiated perspective.


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