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Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (7/22/19)

Who WON’T be here for #RawReunion?!

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WWE Raw Cover image

It’s the first-ever Raw Reunion!

Legends and Hall of Famers are converging on Tampa to once again be part of the longest running TV series for one massive night of thrills! Plus, A Moment of Bliss invites Raw Women’s Champion, Becky Lynch, to be on the show! What goes down when the Man comes around?

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • The Usos w/ Rikishi VS The Revival w/ D-Von Dudley; The Usos win.
  • WWE 24/7 Championship: R-Truth w/ Carmella VS Drake Maverick w/ Renee Michelle; Maverick wins and becomes the new WWE 24/7 Champion.
  • Drew McIntyre VS Cedric Alexander; No Contest.
  • WWE 24/7 Championship: Drake Maverick VS The Boogeyman VS Pat Patterson; Patterson wins and becomes the new WWE 24/7 Champion.
  • The Viking Raiders VS Curt Hawkins & Zack Ryder; The Viking Raiders win.
  • WWE 24/7 Championship Off Camera Match: Pat Patterson VS Gerald Briscoe; Briscoe wins and becomes the new WWE 24/7 Champion.
  • WWE 24/7 Championship On Camera Intergender Match: Gerald Briscoe VS Kelly Kelly; Kelly wins and becomes the new WWE 24/7 Champion.
  • Samoa Joe VS Roman Reigns; Reigns wins.
  • WWE 24/7 Championship: Kelly Kelly VS Candice Michelle w/ Naomi; wins and becomes the new WWE 24/7 Champion.
  • WWE 24/7 Championship: Candice Michelle VS Madusa/Alundra Blayze; Blayze/Madusa wins and becomes the new WWE 24/7 Champion.
  • Sami Zayn VS Rey Mysterio; Mysterio wins.
  • WWE 24/7 Championship Intergender “Match”: Alundra Blayze VS Ted DiBiase; DiBiase “wins” and becomes the new WWE 24/7 Champion.
  • Seth Rollins VS AJ Styles w/ The Club; Rollins wins, by disqualification.
  • WWE 24/7 Championship Inside a Limousine Match: Ted DiBiase VS Drake Maverick w/ Renee Michelle; Maverick wins and becomes the new WWE 24/7 Champion.
  • WWE 24/7 Championship: Drake Maverick w/ Renee Michelle VS R-Truth w/ Carmella; Truth wins and becomes the new WWE 24/7 Champion.
  • Braun Strowman VS Randy Rowe; Strowman wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

JOHN CENA returns to Raw!

No reunion would be complete without the Franchise Player! And as always, fans sing a chorus of “John Cena Sucks~!” as he hits the ring! Cena picks up the mic and fans chant his name. “Wait, wait, wait.” All he had to do was wait for Raw Reunion and he’d be liked? Well then it’s great to be here! There will be other legends, like Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair, Degeneration X, and Stone Cold Steve Austin! So just like us, Cena did not want to miss tonight. Because this is his home. And not just because he lives in Florida now. The WWE has always been his home. He may not be around like he used to, but the WWE Universe is still his family, because he is just as excited to be here now as he was on day one.

“So without further ado,” let’s get this going! And the Usos are first out! “Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whhhoa…!” They get in the ring with Cena for one big “WHOA!” Uce, Day One? Cena can’t be seen but he’s in the building! And to make this reunion even more lit is what the people want. Cena and the Usos dropping bars! Fans want to see and hear that! Cena says he can’t, he hasn’t done that in a long time. But the fans came for the Doctor of Thuganomics! Who this? This is Cena, who left for the movie biz. Cena says that respect for calling him out, but he ain’t getting bested. These two look just like their mug shots! How was it getting arrested? Well shout out to Hillsborough. But this is who they wanted!

Now everyone on your feet, let them hear you make some noise! Because this was fun, but you can’t see me. No don’t go, Pops is here. Here comes RIKISHI~! Yes, the first hall of famer of the night is here! Jimmy and Jey help Rikishi into the ring as he sports some Samoan Dynasty gear. Rikishi won’t let Cena leave yet, thought. Back dat ass up and turn back around. Now it goes like this. With respect, Cena is the man. But tonight, Uce, he can’t let Cena leave fast and furious without busting some moves! “Y’all ready for this?” The Usos and Cena line up, but the Revival interrupt! The Raw Tag Team Champions ruin the fun already. But wait, they’ve brought D-Von! It looks like we’ve got something brewing between tag team icons!

 

Hogan and Jimmy Hart are backstage!

The Hulkster is too pumped to be calm. With so many legends and icons running around, will they and Hulkamania run wild on you?

 

Booker T joins commentary!

Raw returns as the five-time WCW World Heavyweight Champion joins Michael Cole, Corey Graves and Renee Young at the announce desk!

 

The Usos w/ Rikishi VS The Revival w/ D-Von Dudley!

Jimmy and Scott Dawson start and tie up with the legends ringside. Dawson headlocks but Jimmy powers out. Dawson runs Jimmy over but things speed up. Jimmy hurdles then back drops Dawson, then back drops Dash Wilder as he runs in. He puts Dawson in the corner and tags in Jey. Jimmy holds Dawson still for Jey to hit a flying forearm! Jey snapmares Dawson then covers, TWO! Jey keeps on Dawson with a headlock but Dawson powers out. Dash distracts but gets an uppercut, Dawson hangs Jey up with a flapjack hotshot! Dawson backs off a moment to tag Dash, then The Revival double catapult guillotine Jey into ropes! Cover, TWO!

Rikishi coaches his sons up but Dash has Jey on the ropes again. Dash drags Jey up and bumps him off buckles. Tag to Dawson and Dash feeds Jey to the knee. Dawson taunts Daddy Rikishi as he drops an elbow, leg and headbutt! Then a big back suplex! Dawson picks up the Uso bandanna to mock them, then throws it at Rikishi. Tag to Dash and The Revival mug Jey in their corner. They give Jey CHOPS then drive in elbows. Jey uppercuts back hard, but Dash stays on him. Jey elbows Dash away then climbs up, but Dawson distracts. Dash shoves Jey down to barriers! The Usos regroup while we go picture in picture.

Dash tells Jimmy to back off and waits for the count. Jimmy and Rikishi coach Jey up and Jey gets in at 9! Only for Dash to rain down right hands! Dash throws Jey into the post then tags in Dawson. The Revival give Jey the boosted suplex! Cover, TWO! Dawson stays on Jey as Raw returns to single picture. Fans rally up for the Usos and Jey fights back! Jey throws uppercuts but Dawson shoves to elbow Jey down. Tag to Dash and The Revival stomp Jey down. Dash snapmares Jey to wrap on a chinlock. Dash grinds Jey down in front of Rikishi, but Jey endures. Jey fights his way up and throws body shots. Dash shoves Jey but gets a kick for it! Tag to Dawson, but he misses in the corner! Dawson hits the post and falls! Hot tags to Dash and Jimmy!

Jimmy rallies on The Revival with big uppercuts! Mule kick to a pop-lock dab uppercut! Dash runs but into a Samoan Drop! Jimmy fires up and runs corner to corner but Dash puts him on the apron. Jimmy kicks back then climbs up! Dash scrambles but Dawson gets the crossbody! Dash gets the roll-up, TWO! Jimmy kicks, it’s blocked, but into the Dragon Whip! Jimmy fires up again and takes aim, shout out to Umaga with the running hip attack! He climbs, but Dash gets under. Dawson tags in, another block, but a save from the Dragon Whip! Flying uppercut German Supelx! Bridge, but Jey breaks it! D-Von cant’ believe it! Dash hits Jey but gets clothesline’d out with him!

D-Von smirks as he looms closer, but Rikishi is there to keep him back. Dawson jaws at Rikishi about not touching D-Von, but he turns around into a SUPERKICK! Tag to Jey and Jey climbs up, SUPERKICK for Dash! USO SPLASH for Dawson! Cover, the Usos win!

Winners: The Usos, Jey pinning

And now they’ve got a pin on the Raw Tag Team Champions! Will they keep things rolling towards an eighth tag title reign?

 

Alicia Fox is backstage talking Summerslam!

Dana Brooke hears her out about designing a new hat for the occasion. Alicia wants one that goes higher and higher, like 12 feet, maybe 17, maybe 30. What do they think? Kaitlyn is there to give her opinion. Whatever it is, it’ll be amazing. Well have this one then. Alicia’s getting an even bigger hat anyway so… OMG Torrie Wilson returns, too! And she looks amazing! Alicia looks great, too, like a disco ball! Santino Marella returns, too! How is Santina? Fantastic! But she is a little under the weather. But what about his little friend? Huh? Oh right, the Cobra! He loves the ladies. But then Drew McIntyre walks in… These three are “legends”? It disappoints him. But the Scottish Terminator has a different target: Cedric Alexander!

 

Backstage interview with R-Truth and Carmella!

The WWE 24/7 Champion returns from San Diego Comic-Con, and he’s looking out for all possible challengers. But speaking of that SDCC visit, Truth almost got caught up in a storm as he faced The Hurricane! Truth should’ve been a different bird. Like Big Bird or Larry Byrd. Larry’s got some moves. But here coems Renee Michelle, wife of Drake Maverick. She says Truth ruined her wedding, her marriage, and her husband’s life. Carmella and Renee start arguing, but Maverick rolls Truth up!!

Winner: Drake Maverick, by pinfall; NEW WWE 24/7 Champion

The Mavericks work together and get away with the gold! The chase is on again, and Charly Caruso is speechless. That is, until the Godfather walks in! Does she know what time it is? It’s time to ride… the HO TRAIN~!

 

Drew McIntyre VS Cedric Alexander!

The Scottish Terminator was already angry with the former Cruiserweight Champion when he tricked everyone into thinking he was Gary “The Goat,” but now he’s even angrier after having lost to Alexander 1v1! What will McIntyre do to crush the Age of Alexander once and for all?

Neither man waits for the bell, and they start brawling at the ramp! McIntyre BOOTS Alexander down, then drags him up to shove him at the steps. Alexander dodges to send McIntyre into the post! Then Alexander walks up the steps to kick McIntyre back! Alexander moonsaults, and wipes McIntyre out! Alexander rains down rights but McIntyre shoves him into the post, spine first! McIntyre rains down rights now, making sure Alexander sees the last one. The referee says they need to stop and get int he ring, but McIntyre RAMS Alexander into the barriers. Then inverted Alabama, but not on the floor. McIntyre swings Alexander AT THE APRON!! Alexander falls in a heap and McIntyre looms over him. Alexander may have won once, but has he just lost the war?

 

Drake Maverick makes it to the Raw locker rooms.

He quickly gathers his things, but then there’s WORMS!! Yes, it’s the Boogeyman! And he’s coming to get you! Maverick quivers in fear as Boogeyman draws near. Maverick runs, but falls over hard. Pat Patterson walks in and sees “garbage” on the ground. He stomps Maverick, and then has a ref count his pin! Patterson wins!!

Winner: Pat Patterson, by pinfall; NEW WWE 24/7 Champion

Pretty Boy Pat Patterson takes the title from Maverick and leaves him behind. A legend now holds the gold, but will he make it to the end of Raw Reunion as champion?

 

Christian returns to Raw!

Captain Charisma joins commentary but there’s also Lilian Garcia back as the ring announcer for this next match!

 

The Viking Raiders VS Curt Hawkins & Zack Ryder!

Erik and Ivar look to destroy all who oppose them! That includes the #MajorBros! Who survives this #VikingExperience?

The bell rings and the Major Bros go right at the Vikings! Ivar shoves Hawkins away but Ryder puts Erik in a corner. Ryder and Hawkins then both dropkick Ivar out! Erik throws Hawkins out but Ryder throws forearms. Erik knees but Ryder bounces Erik off the mat. Tag to Hawkins, and the Major Bros combine for the STO Russian Leg Sweep. Cover, TWO! Hawkins tags Ryder and they mug Erik with knees and forearms. Erik hits back with a BIG right! Tag to Ivar, and Erik feeds Ryder to a seated senton! Cover, TWO! Ivar drags Ryder up to snapmare and club him with forearms. Tag to Erik, and Ivar scoop slams Ryder for Erik to then scoop slam Ivar onto Ryder! Cover, TWO!

Erik drags Ryder up and tags Ivar in. The Vikings mug Ryder but Ryder escapes, tag to Hawkins! But Ivar cartwheels to dodge and he clotheslines Hawkins down! He throws Ryder into Erik’s knees! Ivar hits Hawkins with a corner splash, then becomes a human weapon again for the corner hip attack! The Vikings roar, and Ivar runs to DIVE onto both Major Bros! Ivar puts Hawkins back in, tags Erik, and they hit Hawkins with THOR’S HAMMER! Cover, The Viking Raiders win!

Winners: The Viking Raiders, Erik pinning

The warpath Erik and Ivar are carving has run through the former #Edgeheads. How long will it be until the Vikings come for the gold?

 

It’s a Raw Reunion mixer backstage!

All the stars talk, and Mike Kanellis is having fun, but then Maria comes in. He was just talking to Eve! As a fellow mom, she was willing to give tips. And everyone knows Eric Bischoff. Maybe they can come to SmackDown if Raw doesn’t work out. Maria reminds Mike he was supposed to be helping her with her belly lotion so she won’t get stretch marks. Does he want her to get stretch marks?! What would happen to her modeling career? Who would provide for the family then?! Not him! Maria is the breadwinner! She storms off and Mike feels humiliated. Ron Simmons appears and sums it up using Jimmy Hart’s megaphone: “DAMN!”

 

The Club talks about the celebration tonight.

But no, not Raw Reunion! AJ Styles means the OC, the Original, Official, Only Club that matters. It is because they run Raw now. Not the legends that show up just because. And certainly not any newcomer trying to overshadow the OC. Well does Luke Gallows mean… Seth Rollins? Styles is ready to beat Rollins. And if he gets up, then the OC makes a statement as the most dominant group in the WWE! Then, now and forever, Too Sweet!

 

Pat Patterson just got beat for the title?!

“You stooge!” Patterson can cry all he wants, but Gerry beat him again!

Winner: Gerald Briscoe; NEW WWE 24/7 Champion

But as he turns the corner, Gerry encounters Kelly Kelly. He celebrates with her, and then she knees him low! Cover, Kelly wins!!

Winner: Kelly Kelly; NEW WWE 24/7 Champion

And she’s the first-ever Women’s WWE 24/7 Champion to boot! Kelly runs off with the belt, but will she make it to the end of the night with it?

 

Samoa Joe heads to the ring.

The Destroyer is in no mood to celebrate and revel in nostalgia after coming so close yet still being so far from the WWE World Championship. Joe takes to the mic to say, “Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Samoa Joe.” And he is here tonight to point out a “vile atrocity” in the WWE! Tonight is to celebrate the Raw Reunion. They’re celebrating the longest running series on television today. And yet, there in lies the problem. They shouldn’t celebrate, because episodes like the Raw Reunion are a plague! Episodes like this, where the fans get to put on rose-tinted glasses and indulge in a “ridiculous addiction to nostalgia.”

Do they not believe Joe? Tonight could’ve had Samoa Joe doing what his best: wrecking superstars left and right, painting in brutality and sculpting in violence. But no, we got Usos and their daddy spitting limericks at John Cena. “It’s embarrassing!” He’s surprised there hasn’t been more pandering tonight! But wait, here comes Roman Reigns! The Big Dog does not want the #Bloodline being disrespected in His Yard. Roman heads to the ring, unafraid of Joe. The two stare down as Roman gets a mic. “If you’ve got something to say about my family, then say it.” Joe makes something clear: he has nothing to say, but he has something to resent! Well then, they’re from the same island, so he knows what happens next. Joe does. But before getting into that, he throws a punch! But Roman is ready for it!

Joe rakes Roman’s eyes to throw him into a post! Roman falls out of the ring but Joe is still on him! Joe whips Roman at barriers! Then he gets in Roman’s face before whipping him to the far side! Roman clutches his hip from the impact while Joe grins and laughs. Joe then grimaces as he drags Roman up again. Joe throws jab after jab then headbutt! Fans rally and duel as Joe puts Roman in the ring. Joe grins as he follows after, and clubs Roman back down to the mat. He stands Roman up for a strong headbutt! They go back outside, and Joe dares Roman to do something about the disrespect. Joe puts Roman back in the ring, but Roman SUPERMAN PUNCHES Joe back down!

Roman watches Joe get back up and dares him to return. Joe considers his options, but grabs a new mic to respond instead. Fans are on Roman’s side as The Big Dog eggs Joe on. “You want to do this, Uce?!” Joe shouts. Want to do this the right way?! You think the fans want this tonight?! Tampa confirms they do. Well Joe’s not doing “a damn thing” the fans want. Roman apologizes to the fans. “Not all Samoans are cowards.” Joe retaliates by saying one is gonna get put out tonight! If Roman wants this, and he does, then he’s got it! The raging Samoans are about to battle, when Raw returns!

 

Samoa Joe VS Roman Reigns!

Raw returns as the bell rings, and the two start throwing hands! Roman rocks Joe to a corner to throw even more haymakers! He lets up to whip Joe corner to corner. Joe dodges and Roman hits the post again! Joe CHOPS Roman, then headbutts that bad arm. He clubs away on the shoulder and Roman falls, so Joe just stomps him. The ref backs Joe off for Roman to get up. Joe is on Roman again with big forearms. Roman shakes out the cobwebs but Joe is on him with a snapmare. Fans duel as Joe puts on a deep neck wrench! Roman endures to torque and fights his way up. Roman pries free and pulls on Joe’s fingers, to then throw forearms. But Roman runs into Joe’s back elbow! Cover, TWO!

Joe seethes as he looms over Roman. He drags Roman up again and drives elbows in. Joe clamps onto the arm and chinbars for the neck wrench. Roman endures and fans rally up again. Roman elbows Joe off, then headbutts him. But Joe yanks Roman hard into ropes and out of the ring! Roman lands on his feet, but Joe DIVES to barrel him over! Joe grins as he looms over Roman again. The ring count begins and Joe takes his time to bring Roman up again. He puts Roman in at 6 then gets in at 7. Joe stalks Roman while mockingly applauding. He stands Roman up to uppercut and CHOP. Joe throws forearms and throws Roman back out of the ring. Joe runs again, but Roman gets clear! Drive-By Dropkick outta nowhere!

Roman drags Joe up and into the ring and runs to leaping lariat! Joe is in a corner and Roman fires off the point-blank clotheslines! Roman runs and boots Joe down! Roman goes to a corner to lock ‘n’ load! He takes aim, runs out, but Joe catches him to an atomic drop! Joe BOOTS Roman, to then drop a senton! Cover, TWO! Joe grows frustrated, but he drags Roman up for the sleeper hold! Roman resists the rest of the Coquina Clutch and dumps Joe out hard. Now Roman runs as Joe gets in, SPEAR! Cover, Roman wins!

Winner: Roman Reigns, by pinfall

And the Big Dog defends his family’s honor! Will Samoa Joe think twice before disrespecting the Dynasty?

 

Raw presents: Miz TV!

The Hollywood A-Lister moves on from letting the Show-Off rile him up, to have The Architect as his special guest!

Raw returns as Miz gives the Most Must-See WWE Talk Show its introduction. Miz also notes that his guest will face AJ Styles tonight, see a Miz & Mrs. sneak-peek later tonight, and then also challenge THE Brock Lesnar for the WWE Universal Championship again! It is SETH ROLLINS! The Beastslayer did it once, and he’ll #BurnItDown again if he has to! Rollins walks out to the ring still hot after his Cross-Brand Top Ten All Star Battle Royal victory and with his ticket punched for Toronto. He sits with Miz in the ring and Miz talks about the roller coaster week Rollins had.

Losing the title at Extreme Rules (which we see footage of now), winning the battle royal (which commentary plugged during Rollins’ entrance), and yet Rollins is laughing? The biggest of Rollins’ life is a “predicament.” Yeah, it’s “BRRROCK~, LESNARRR~!” Lesnar’s big bucket head and little beady eyes, “a real Godzilla looking bastard.” Who wouldn’t fear that? Who wouldn’t want that strength and size? Rollins doesn’t. Rollins doesn’t want to be Lesnar. Lesnar is the Seth Rollins wannabe. But before Rollins can explain, here comes Paul Heyman on the titantron. Everyone knows the introduction, but Heyman says he’s the “dose of reality.” Look in the mirror and say who wants to be what, because Lesnar is the reigning, defending, undisputed Universal Champion!

Rollins’ can’t go whining about the Money in the Bank contract and Lesnar just did it back. Yeah but it took four years to do it, because Lesnar is a Rollins wannabe. Heyman comes out on stage to say “this is the very last time-” No, THIS is the last time Rollins is saying this: if Heyman is going to talk the talk for Lesnar, then he’ll walk the walk for Lesnar. Rollins is going to stomp Heyman through the stage! Heyman wants Rollins to be reasonable, he’s only the Advocate. Time’s up! Rollins steps out but Heyman runs away. Rollins grins and says that for 20 years, Heyman has billed Lesnar as “The Beast.” Lesnar’s no beast. Lesnar is a man. Any man can lose. And at Summerslam, Rollins faces Lesnar once again, and Lesnar will lose.

But let’s go to tonight! Rollins isn’t getting ready by resting, because he’s not Lesnar. He gets ready by facing the best of the best! That’s why he’s going 1v1 with the Phenomenal AJ Styles! And Tampa, let’s #IgnitetheFire and #BurnItDown! Rollins is all fired up, but will he be the one burned by Styles and The Club?

 

Backstage interview with the party guests!

But Sami Zayn stops Charly right there. This is what’s wrong with Raw: wasting time getting opinions of supposed legends. They aren’t legends, they’re just people who were there. It’s like looking back at the Attitude Era through the FaceApp. Just so many desperate people, and so many pathetic fans. What everyone should be hearing is, “Go home!” Don’t come back for Wrestlemania, just go home and stay home. But then Rey Mysterio comes in telling Sami to respect those who paved the way. Oh well sorry Rey, Sami doesn’t respect any of them. And speaking of paving the way, Sami would love to run Mysterio over right now.

But Kurt Angle is here! And he keeps the peace. When Angle was in charge, they used to settle things in the ring. Mysterio’s up for that, and it seems Sami has no choice. Will Sami regret showing no respect to the King of Lucha Libre?

 

Raw returns to Kelly Kelly celebrating with other women legends!

Kelly shows the WWE 24/7 Championship off to Candice Michelle, Melina and Naomi. Melina and Naomi were just talking about her new license. What license? Her refereeing license!! Candice turns on Kelly with big knees and elbows! Cover, Melina counts it, Candice wins!!

Winner: Candice Michelle, by pinfall; NEW WWE 24/7 Champion

And now we have our second Women’s 24/7 Champion! Candice does her dance from back in the day, but then someone reels her in! It’s Madusa, aka Alundra Blayze! And she has Candice in a cobra clutch! Candice taps and Melina calls in, Blayze wins!!

Winner: Alundra Blayze/Madusa, by submission; NEW WWE 24/7 Champion

And now our third ever Women’s 24/7 Champion is crowned! “If any of you have a problem with me being 24/7 Champion, tell it to my face.” Because she doesn’t plan on being champion very long. Oh no, is she going to throw that belt away, too!?

 

Jonathan Coachman returns to Raw commentary!

The Coach knows a thing or two about leaving, returning and being interrupted a lot. But he’s here to watch this next match!

 

Sami Zayn VS Rey Mysterio!

The Critic of the Critics and overall master of obnoxious behavior chose to disrespect the legends on the wrong night. Will Mysterio teach Sami a lesson on respect tonight?

The bell rings and Sami circles with Mysterio. Sami wrenches Mysterio to a wristlock, but Mysterio rolls and uses the ropes to flip. Sami knees Mysterio low then punches him around. He whips but Mysterio kicks back! Mysterio runs but is put on the apron. He shoulders back in then kicks Sami back. Mysterio hops up but Sami trips him up! Mysterio’s in the Tree of Woe and Sami stomps away! Sami backs off, to basement dropkick Mysterio down! Cover, TWO! Sami stalks Mysterio and throws haymakers. He punches Mysterio to another corner, then snapmares him to a seated chinlock. Mysterio endures and fans rally up. Mysterio arm-drags out and then boots Sami back! He runs but Sami pops Mysterio up for a bomb! Cover, TWO!!

Sami grows frustrated but he keeps on Mysterio. He grins as he scoops Mysterio, but Mysterio pops to a tornado DDT! Both men are down but Mysterio is getting up. Sami follows but Mysterio kicks and punches. Sami reverses the whip but Mysterio dodges to wheelbarrow and victory roll Sami to ropes! Mysterio dials it up, but Sami bails out. Mysterio stares Sami down but Sami gives up. But before he can leave, here comes ROB VAN DAM!! The One of a Kind RVD returns to Raw, because he’s still Mr. Monday Nights. But not just him, here comes Sergeant Slaughter! But stand back, there’s a Hurricane coming through! The legends learned what Sami was saying, and they’re making Sami regret it. Because here comes Kurt Angle!

The four legends storm down the ramp but that leaves Sami with only the ring. Mysterio mule kicks, headscissors Sami onto ropes, then hits the 619! Mysterio hops up, shout out to RVD, Frog Splash! Cover, Mysterio wins!

Winner: Rey Mysterio, by pinfall

He did it for the legends! Is this the spark Mysterio needs to get back on track?

 

A limousine arrives at Raw…

With Ric Flair aboard! The Nature Boy is here and fashionably late for the Raw Reunion!

 

The Street Profits are backstage at Raw Reunion!

Well at least Montez Ford is. Where’d Angelo Dawkins go? Ford finds Dawkins coughing and putting eye drops in. What was he up to? Skating with the pilots? Nah, chillin’ with RVD! Oh wow… He and RVD were chillin’ but without Ford? Well it all happened so fast. RVD was like, “You you trying to roll up in here?” And Dawkins was like, yo! Mike Henry, too. And Kelly Kelly, and Ric Flair “WOO~!” WOO? WOO~! Yeah but then Boogeyman showed up. Really? Yeah. Someone’s phone is blowing up. It’s Dawkins. He takes it. Godfather calling! Ford missed a lot..

 

Alundra Blayze walks on stage!

She goes to commentary, and told us all she wasn’t going to be champion for long. Because to recreate her most infamous moment, she has a trash can! She takes the 24/7 Championship belt, but wait! It’s Ted DiBiase! The Million Dollar Man returns to Raw, too! Because he has an offer to make Blayze. He’ll buy the title off her. Because everybody’s got a price! He brings out a fat stack of Benjamin Franklins, and she takes that to hand the title over.

Winner: Ted DiBiase, by payday; NEW WWE 24/7 Champion

Wait does that title work like that?! Doesn’t matter now, because DiBiase heads out with his new piece of gold.

 

Jerry “The King” Lawler returns to Raw commentary!

It wouldn’t be a Raw Reunion without one of the biggest names on commentary! And for such a phenomenal match up next!

 

Seth Rollins VS AJ Styles w/ The Club!

The Architect is preparing for the WWE Universal Champion, but how will he do against the Phenomenal WWE United States Champion?

The bell rings and Rollins circles with Styles. Fans duel as Rollins headlocks. Styles tries to power out but Rollins holds on tight. Styles tries again and gets free, only for Rollins to run him over. Rollins scrambles after Styles as he scrambles to the ropes. The ropebreak makes Rollins back away, so he waits for Styles to return. Styles returns, to kick and club Rollins down! Styles drags Rollins up and bumps him off buckles. Rollins staggers away but Styles CHOPS! Rollins CHOPS back, so Styles CHOPS again. But Rollins starts CHOPPING more, only to run into a fireman’s carry! He sunset flips through, TWO! Styles throws hands but Rollins counter punches and CHOPS! Rollins whips but Styles reverses, only for Rollins to reverse and ROCK Styles with that right!

Rollins runs in for a corner clothesline, then a mudhole stomp! Styles sits down but Rollins backs off, to come back again. Styles puts Rollins on the apron but gets a hotshot for it! Rollins aims but Karl Anderson distracts. Styles pounces with forearms! Rollins goes down and the OC grin. Styles goes out to fetch Rollins, the Good Brothers behind him, but here comes DX!! Triple H and Shawn Michaels won’t let the Club think they’re the best faction in WWE just yet. HBK and HHH watch Rollins’ back now while Raw goes to break.

Raw returns and Rollins brawls fast and furious with Styles! Styles hotshots Rollins down but DX coaches him up. Rollins gets up but Styles back suplexes. Rollins lands on his feet, runs and slingblades Styles down! Styles runs but into a boot! Rollins hops up and leaps for the blockbuster! Rollins keeps moving, going to a corner. He springboards back in, flying knee! Mule kick hits hard! Fans echo “Burn It Down!” as Rollins stomps and mule kicks again. But the OC trip Rollins up and attack!

Winner: Seth Rollins, by disqualification

But DX stands with the Architect! HHH and HBK help Rollins up while Gallows and Anderson help Styles. Styles wants everyone to just hold on a moment. He says DX is like them, and they’re just like DX. They put up the Too Sweet! DX looks at Rollins, then at the OC. HHH and HBK put up the Too Sweet, but then say “SUCK IT!” Rollins attacks Styles while DX brawls with the Good Brothers! HBK throws Anderson out, then helps HHH clothesline Gallows out! The OC regroups and are furious, so they grab some chairs! Rollins and DX see the OC surround them, but you didn’t know~? Here come reinforcements!

The D O Double G, with X P A C 1 2 3. Then the Bad Guy, Scott Hall, and he ain’t alone because here’s Big Daddy Diesel, Kevin Nash! And looking at the math, with Chyna’s spirit, that’s seven. Wait Billy is here in spirit technically. Well point being, OC, you’re looking at some OG’s! DX and the Kliq, you better get to stepping, and make it quick. Styles and his boys back off as the combined forces of DX and the Kliq take the ring. Styles vows to show everyone something, especially HBK! Dogg asks who wants to say it. Rollins shall do the honors. Rollins takes the mic and starts to feel the pressure. “OC, if you’re not down with that, we’ve got two words for ya!” SUCK IT!! Now that’s Too Sweet!

 

Mark Henry talks with Mick Foley.

They’re both here, but it’s Mrs. Foley’s Baby Boy who plans to head to the ring in a moment!

 

Ted DiBiase laughs as he has the 24/7 Championship.

But as he enters his limousine, he’s under attack! And when the doors open back up… Drake Maverick has the title!

Winner: Drake Maverick, by pinfall(?); NEW WWE 24/7 Champion

He’s back on top, baby! Now Mr. & Mrs. Maverick can… RUN!! The every-day Raw superstars run at Drake and he has to run away! Will Maverick ever catch a break?

 

Mick Foley is in the ring!

The hardcore legend and WWE Hall of Famer is happy to celebrate Raw Reunion in Tampa, Florida. Foley was here two months ago introducing the WWE 24/7 Championship, and oh hey, it’s coming this way! “Come to papa!” But Maverick avoids Foley, and the rest of the Raw superstars run past to keep up the chase. Foley’s not through with that title yet! But have a nice day, guys. Foley vows to be champion before the night is through.

Foley says some of the finest moments of his life have been on Raw. He thanks the fans for being part of it all. But to pick his absolute favorite, it’d have to be… January 4th, 1999! The night Foley became world champion! But wait, what happened to the footage? Oh no, the lights are going down…! THE FIEND IS HERE!! And he attacks Mick Foley with a MANDIBLE CLAW!? He’s stealing Foley’s move, and perhaps stealing Foley’s soul!! Foley passes out and the Fiend disappears into the night, laughing all the way.

 

Raw presents: A Moment of Bliss!

The Goddess and Nikki Cross walk out and take their seats, and take a moment to say what we just saw happen, we need this. Alexa introduces herself and Nikki. The show must go on, so they introduce The Man, Becky Lynch! The Raw Women’s Champion makes her entrance now, holding her belt up high. Becky takes her seat and Alexa brings up the Summerslam title match against Natalya, who has home field advantage in Toronto. But here comes Natty herself! Well hey, Natty, what’re you doing out here? Well she knows how the game works. If Becky wants to say something, say it to Natty’s face. Alexa loves this tension, and explains with footage what went down.

Natty wanted to face a friend in her home country, but Becky dropped the smiles to say this is all business. “Step up or else I will wipe the floor with you in your home country.” Natty desperately needs this, and Becky knows it. And in return. Natty promised to rip the orange mop of Becky’s head, then pull the horseshoe out of her ass, to beat the hell out of her. In the present, Natty brings up the shared time together in Japan, and their parallels in the WWE. Yet for Becky to be so disrespectful blows Natty’s mind. Because Natty undercut Becky before Becky even got her footing. But Becky beat Natty’s little friend, Ronda Rousey. The belt represents the Baddest Woman’s scalp, and Becky will still have it after she embarrasses Natty. Now they brawl!

Referees rush out to stop this scrap, but Alexa and Nikki just watch while sipping coffee. Tampa wants to “Let Them Fight!” but Becky and Natty are being pulled apart. What goes down when these two don’t have to hold back at Summerslam?

 

Raw returns with a backstage interview with Natalya.

Did she expect things to get so personal so quickly? It was Becky who made it personal! Becky is rewriting history, thinking she built the Women’s (R)Evolution, when it was built off of women like Natty! Natty will teach Becky the lesson of a lifetime by taking that belt, man.

 

Drake Maverick and Renee Michelle hurry to their limousine.

But Truth and Carmella strike! Carmella kicks Renee and Maverick apart, then Truth completes the roll-up! Truth wins!!

Winner: R-Truth, by pinfall; NEW WWE 24/7 Champion

And we come full circle! Truth hops in the limo and says go! But Renee is in there, too!! Maverick’s baby, and his wife, both left without him! Carmella also feels left behind. Oh now Maverick notices Renee Michelle was in the limo?

 

Braun Strowman VS Randy Rowe!

The Monster Among Men grabs a mic before the bell rings. He says, “Don’t blink, this ain’t gonna last long.” The bell rings, and he TOSSES Rowe across the ring! Then back the other way! Rowe wobbles about, and Strowman runs to BOOT him down! But that’s not all, because he hauls Rowe up by one hand, to SKYSCRAPER CHOKE SLAM him! Cover, Strowman wins!

Winner: Braun Strowman, by pinfall

Well it wasn’t quite as fast as he said, but Strowman still makes quick work of a mere mortal. Will Strowman make sure everyone on Raw #GetsTheseHands?

 

It’s time to toast the Raw Reunion!

And first out, it’s the Nature Boy! Ric Flair styles and profiles his way out stage as fans echo “WOO~!” And following behind, it’s The Hurricane, DX, The Kliq, Rikishi, and all the returning icons and legends we’ve seen tonight. And last but not least, THE IMMORTAL Hulk Hogan! Hogan and Flair bow to each other in respect, then hug it out. “Well let me tell you something, brother!” It is great to be back and celebrate Raw with all his friends and Hulkamaniacs. And sorry Foley, this is his hometown, brother! Some of the best moments were on Raw with the Tampa Hulkamaniacs. But for all those that sported the red and yellow, Hogan thanks them a million times over. So there’s one last thing to ask: “Whatcha gonna do when the Raw Reunion and Hulkamania runs wild on you?!”

The music plays again and Flair even joins Hogan in on hearing the fans cheer. Everyone applauds, but then the glass breaks!! It’s STONE COLD! STONE COLD! STONE COLD! Steve Austin is here!! And he hits the ring as fans cheer! The Texas Rattlesnake makes sure to hit every corner before he gets himself one of those Stone Cold coolers! He has someone toss him those #Steveweisers, though, and does his double can salute! Broken Skull IPA goes down smooth for Austin, but he gets himself a mic while he’s at it. “Gimme a hell yeah!” “Hell Yeah!” No no, give him a hell yeah. “Hell Yeah!” Can you to hear him? Give him a hell yeah! “HELL YEAH!” There it is.

Austin remembers being on the road with his brothers and sisters, but don’t go thinking he won’t get sentimental. He’d rather just take everyone else by their necks, and that’s the bottom line. But look at those legends on stage. They’ve had blood, sweat, tears, maybe even crapped themselves. Those legends, these cameramen and ring crew, they’re all family. Even the fans, they’re family! Yes, that includes all oft he WWE Universe around the world. So Austin is thankful to come out and celebrate this reunion. He came out a little early, spent the day with the one and only Hogan for a podcast, drank some beer, and had some sushi. Then just last night, Austin was up all night listening to Flair’s stories while drinking all the beer in the bar.

And after all that, Austin ordered room service. Austin ordered all sorts of food, Austin was like, “No I ain’t going down yet.” He went down a floor, there was a door open, and there was Ron Simmons. They looked at each other, giddy as could be. Austin beat Simmons to the punch with a “DAMN!” They hugged it out for like a minute. They hung out with everyone, because it’s about the family and the dues paid. So without any further ado, let’s all drink a cold one. Austin proposes a toast to “every single sum bish” in the ring. This is a legit sell out, and everyone’s watching because this is Raw. “And that’s all I got to say about that!”

Austin gives a toast to Tampa, to the United States of America, to the entire world, “thank you very much. And that’s the bottom liiine~, because Stone Cold said so!” Everyone raises a can, but hold on, is there still time? One minute left, so Austin and Gerry Briscoe, cheers! They were doing some not so legal things in South Africa, and Austin was nervous about talking. Coach said, “Just go be you.” So there it is. Austin’s here with his friends and family, thankful to everyone, but ain’t giving out Christmas cards. Cheers to Raw! HELL YEAH!

 


 

My Thoughts:

A really fun episode of Raw, even though not much actually happened. It became an amazing WWE 24/7 Championship marathon, though. We can officially say history for that title was made, with legends added to the list of champions, along with crossing over into the Women’s Division. The only real downside to that was Renee Michelle did not get to have the title even though it totally set up for that. But maybe we’ll get a YouTube or Twitter exclusive to have shenanigans between her and R-Truth since we know they’re stuck in the same limo now. I’ll have to keep an eye on those sources… But also, WOW that attack on Mick Foley! Bray Wyatt better start doing his take on Three Faces of Foley, using classic Bray, Muscleman/Kids Show Bray and The Fiend as his personas just like Cactus Jack, Dude Love and Mankind.

We did get a lot of fun stuff that helped progress the title stories, too. Cena opening the show was a great choice, and then having him, the Usos and Rikishi bring out some Thuganomics was fun. Usos VS Revival was great, because those teams are great, but also because Raw used picture in picture! Raw should do that more to avoid the “no wrestling during commercials, 2 out of 3 falls” issues. Another Raw Tag Title match at Summerslam for these two teams, I’m sure we’ll get something really amazing. McIntyre brutalized Alexander, a great move for the Scottish Psychopath. I would love to see Alexander, kayfabe beat up as he might be, to come back with a vengeance to really up his own character. There’s still time to circle back to Undertaker if the rumors are true, but this could do wonders for Alexander either way.

Sami VS Mysterio was obviously filler for the legends to get pops, and so that Mysterio could get a win. I don’t know how much more Mysterio has, though, he keeps coming back from injury. Hopefully someone figures something out so Mysterio’s last run can be memorable. The Viking Raiders and Strowman also did filler squash, but it’s fun to see those guys wreck whoever they’re up against. All three should hopefully be in line for titles after Summerslam, or else they’re just beef to satisfy Vince’s needs. Samoa Joe’s promo was very striking, though, for how it bordered on shoot. It was like Sami’s current Heel gimmick, but better. Raw does need to sort itself out to have better episodes and not rely on an episode just like this to spark things.

Joe’s match with Roman was great, but perhaps Joe could’ve/should’ve won so that we could get this for Summerslam. It could still happen to make up for the rest hold debacle Vince had them do last time, but who knows. Rikishi’s gear saying “Samoan Dynasty” makes me want that to be a thing. I always pictured Roman, Usos, and many other family members from the Anoa’i family tree to form a faction to run things on one or both brands. And now that the Club, aka the OC, is trying to run Raw, there’s a feud right there. Rollins and Heyman have good promos on Miz TV, but obviously Rollins VS Styles was really so DX & Kliq could get a group pop to put OC in their place. Something could still come out of this, what with Styles and HBK looking ready to fight ringside. But for now, it was just a fun filler moment.

The Raw Women’s Championship probably had the best progression of anything tonight. A Moment of Bliss obviously helped bring Becky and Natty near each other, and their promos were pretty good. It is an interesting development for Becky to say Natty was the one to do something first, so the next few weeks could elaborate on that. Becky’s line about the belt being the “scalp” of Ronda, Natty’s friend, was also good. These two are great in the ring so we’re definitely going to get a great match in Toronto. But at the same time, I don’t see it being Natty who takes the title, even with this new fire and with the home field advantage. This could tantamount work into being a retirement match or something for Natty, since it will be in her home country, and she can get a touching “Thank You, Natty” moment from Toronto.

My Score: 8.2/10


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