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Andrew’s Impact Wrestling Ratings & Analysis 8/16/2019

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Tessa teams with Tommy Dreamer to take on Sami Callihan and Dave Crist! Does Sami keep the upper hand?

Aside from the Tessa versus oVe match, we also get to see more of the Moose and Fallah Bahh story.

Will Eddie Edwards murder Ace Austin? Will Alisha get better acting skills? Why is the Boston accent so awful?

Before you answer those questions, get some Arby’s, calm down and watch the show.

Ratings:

  • Moose vs Fallah Bahh: Moose wins via Spear – **
  • Jordynne Grace & Alexia Nicole vs Madison Rayne & Kiera Hogan: Madison wins via CrossRayne – ** 1/2
  • The Rascalz vs RVD, Willie Mack & Rich Swann: Swann wins via Phoenix Splash – ***
  • Desi Hit Squad vs The Deaners: Deaners win via Time to Giver – ** 1/2
  • Tessa Blanchard & Tommy Dreamer vs Sami Callihan & Dave Crist: Blanchard wins via Magnum w/Kendo Stick – *** 1/4 

 

Analysis:

Moose vs Fallah Bahh – This whole thing has been bubbling for a couple weeks since Moose went on a tirade about deserving a shot. As for a match, it was okay. Some hard striking and a lot of resiliency from Fallah to try and check the ego of Mr. Impact Wrestling. Sadly Moose counters the BAHHnzai Drop and hits the Spear for the pinfall and more bragging rights.

Dreamer gives one of his impassioned feel good promos that are becoming a little cliche, but damned if he ain’t good at them:

We get a quick video of Su Yung and her Undead Bridesmaids pouring rose pedals on a casket with Havok on it. Also, Su Yung is muttering in what could be Japanese, could be gibberish, could be Klingon…not really sure, but neat.

Jordynne Grace & Alexia Nicole vs Madison Rayne & Kiera Hogan – Classic set up of the face coming in to save a face in peril, and then they decide to team up for vengeance. Not a bad match at all, Kiera and Madison use heel tactics to keep Alexia in the ring for like 90% of the match. So it was fun watching the heel shenanigans, but it was very one sided. Even when Jordynne hit the hot tag, it didn’t last very long and she tried to give Alexia a big victory spot, but Alexia hit the Flying Crossbody on Kiera, who wasn’t the legal person. So Jordynne and Kiera roll out and then Madison takes advantage of the rookie.

-Lights go out and Rosemary intercepts the continued heel beat down-

ImpactPlus Flashback Moment: Chris Sabin vs Juventud Gurrera, Super X Cup Finals,  September 3, 2003

Alisha and Ace have a backstage moment with Ace trying to gain sympathy cause Eddie Edwards is crazy. Alisha is very difficult to watch. Poor acting, Boston accent, just…ugh…we’ve all seen Ted. We know that accent sucks.

Back to the awful crap with Ace and Alisha…ugh.

Okay Bravo and Taya are pretty damn funny. It’s campy, but it’s amusing.

The Rascalz vs RVD, Willie Mack & Rich Swann – The match starts off with each of the Rascalz marking out while squaring off with RVD. Rascalz start to make a small comeback, but then it boils down to nearly a tornado tag match. Nice interceptions and momentum changes between both squads. Finish sees Wentz and Swann square off for a while, Swann gets the best of Wentz, RVD hits a 5 Star Frog Splash, followed by the Phoenix Splash. Fun match.

Desi Hit Squad vs The Deaners – So this match got set up last week. Winner basically makes the loser into personal servants or helpers in their world. As for the what went on, I mean, both teams are heavily gimmick based. Desi Hit Squad are solid heel wrestlers and The Deaners are good dumb country boys. The babyface team goes over in the match and now we’ll get to see the spoiled brats work on a farm.

Tessa Blanchard & Tommy Dreamer vs Sami Callihan & Dave Crist – Tessa and Tommy start off fast, a bunch of brawling, Dreamer teaches Tessa how to drink a beer and then spit it in someone’s face. From thereon we had a chaotic but fun match. It felt like it was mostly tornado since Kid Ref had no real control, capped off by Sami wiping him out with an Elbow Drop. Dave Crist trying to low blow Tessa was pretty funny. New ref showed up but tended to Kid Ref so there were a few more unsupervised minutes. Tessa and Tommy get the best of oVe, and everyone goes home happy with Tessa looking ready to tear Sami’s head off.

 

Overall Score: 6.5/10

Numerous stories kept moving forward, even though the Ace Austin and Alisha Edwards one is god awful. Rosemary’s inclusion in the main angle with Madison and Kiera’s Frenemies clique is a nice wrinkle. Desi Hit Squad and The Deaners will most likely be funny, and Tessa against oVe continues to build more heat.

Nothing jumped off the page as fantastic, but a lot of solid work in ring and in videos made this an easy watch. Plus once Ethan Page got on Twitch, we saw some great content. Solid show.


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Andrew’s Impact Wrestling Results & Match Ratings: 3.2.2021

Tonight we know we’re supposed to get an official number one contender for the X Division championship! Will it be Black Taurus, Ace Austin or Chris Bey?

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Tonight we know we’re supposed to get an official number one contender for the X Division championship! Will it be Black Taurus, Ace Austin or Chris Bey?

Beyond that, the rest of the matches seem like great building blocks. The eight man should stoke a fire between FinJuice and Good Brothers, Cardona as guest referee is gonna have some wrinkle and the Knockouts main event could be a title match anywhere with Jordynne and Deonna.

With a load of potential, let’s see what the show has in store. Speaking of potential, it seems like Deaner has to suffer through some punishment so he isn’t potentially corrupted.

Ratings:

  • Black Taurus vs Ace Austin vs Chris Bey:  Ace wins via The Fold – *** ½
  • Tenille Dashwood w/Kaleb vs Havok: Tenille wins via Spotlight Kick – **
  • The Good Brother & FinJuice vs XXXL & Reno Scum: Good Brothers win via Magic Killer – N/A
  • Matt Cardona Guest Referee: Eddie Edwards vs Brian Myers: Eddie wins via DQ – ** ¼
  • Kiera Hogan w/Tasha Steelz vs Deonna Purrazzo w/Kimber & Susan vs Jordynne Grace w/Jazz: Deonna wins via Roll-Up – *** ¾

 

Results:

Black Taurus vs Ace Austin vs Chris Bey

This works very logically given the size discrepancy. Bey and Ace continue their team work from last week and work on the bigger opponent. Quick strikes, tandem dives and tandem attacks. It’s amusing to see how seamlessly Ace and Bey work together, they could be one hell of an X Division tag duo if they wanted to get them on a similar page.

As Taurus is wiped out, Bey and Ace finally focus on each other and we get some nice classic Junior style action. Taurus eventually slides in and starts manhandling both of the other men. Taurus hits the Pop-Up Samoan Drop, a stalling Brainbuster, that Ace assists with a Dropkick, and then we start seeing a clash of styles. Taurus’ power kept both Bey and Ace reeling, but they were able to take advantage of him leaving his feet, than Madman Fulton sweeps Bey’s feet off the ropes mid Art of Finesse, so Ace gets the shot to hit The Fold and official win number one contender!

Tenille Dashwood w/Kaleb vs Havok

Even though Kaleb did interfere a few times, Tenille managed to land a few early Back Elbows which Havok sold like they rocked her for most of the match. Tenille dominated most of this match, Tarantula, Taste of Tenille; but Havok started to come back.

Havok comes out of the corner, uses her size and power to her advantage, but Kaleb makes his presence known again. This allows Tenille the chance to make some space, hit the Spotlight Kick and get the upset win!

Nevaeh comes out after and beats the hell out of Kaleb, hits her Twisting DDT and they send Kaleb and Tenille running away.

The Good Brother & FinJuice vs XXXL & Reno Scum

This was basically a funny squash match. FinJuice and the Good Brothers argued, tried to show one another up, and just generally disrespected the opponents. The Brothers had a moment where they purposefully tried to get in the ring so Finlay would get teamed up on, and Juice was irate.

When Finlay gets a chance to tag out, Gallows uses his size to his advantage and reaches out to pick on the fact that Thornstowe was in on the opponent’s side. So Gallows clears the ring, tags in Anderson, they toy with doing the Magic Killer to the point where Thornstowe almost wins with a Roll-Up. Anderson gets annoyed at the close call, Magic Killer and the dysfunctional quartet wins!

Very amusing, not much of a match but great entertainment.

Matt Cardona Guest Referee: Eddie Edwards vs Brian Myers

Myers starts with a few shortcuts, like a shielded thumb to the eye and general shady tactics. Eddie hits the Manhattan Drop/Release Belly to Belly to get some space, Cardona admonishes Myers for grabbing a chair, and Eddie leapfrogs referee Cardona and hits the Tope con Hilo on Myers as we go to commercial.

When we get back, Myers is back in charge, but Eddie is doing a good job fighting back. Misawa style Elbows, a Blue Thunder Bomb, all for a two count. Myers eats a Backpack Stunner, but he’s near the ropes, so Myers gets his foot on the ropes. Myers manages to hang Eddie in ropes, he comes in, pulls something out of his kneepad to load the arm, as he hits the charging clothesline Roster Cut.

But Cardona saw the load, and calls for the DQ. So Myers tried to do his best Lex Luger impression, but no dice. Cardona disqualifies Myers, so Eddie wins after what was building to be a decent match.

Kiera Hogan w/Tasha Steelz vs Deonna Purrazzo w/Kimber & Susan vs Jordynne Grace w/Jazz

An early commercial gave a little odd pacing, but it also kinda cut to all the great stuff. After the initial concept of gang up on the champ and make it a singles match was over, we saw one hell of a match. Gorgeous transitions from Jordynne and Deonna. Jordynne had a great Rolling Deadlift German Suplex, that Deonna countered by just grabbing Kiera and applying a submission. We saw Deonna slap on the Fujiwara from a few different angles, and even pulled out a nice Exploder Suplex.

Kiera is more of the stick and move striker, and even though she looked outclassed, she was never exposed. Kiera held her own given the fact that Deonna is one of the best technical wrestlers in wrestling and Jordynne is a wonderful powerhouse with an ever growing mat wrestling IQ.

Jordynne laid out Kiera, but Tasha was a great tag partner and pulled Kiera out of the ring so she couldn’t eat the pin. This gave Deonna the opportunity to roll up Jordynne and get a controversial 3 count. So the fact it was a hair’s breadth style 3 count, helps to protect Jordynne; coupled with the chaos of a triple threat.

As Deonna celebrates her ingenious ability to pull a win from nowhere, ODB hits the ring after the attack last week and beats the ever living heck out of Deonna, punctuating things with a BAM! So it looks like ODB will be getting a title shot!

 

Overall Score: 7/10

Now even though the Twitch channel was having technical difficulties for most of the show, it wasn’t enough to detract from a really good episode of IMPACT.

We continued to flesh out the Sacrifice card, and sprinkle enough situations that could always bleed into Rebellion. With Ace and Bey having a match next week, that could always expand the X Division title match to a Triple Threat; which honestly has been a little overdone by Impact lately, but the matches have been good – so I’ll just chalk it up to a phase. You know, we all have a Hot Topic phase, a rebellious phase, this is their Three Way Dances into Oblivion phase. I think it’s documented in a book somewhere, it’s fine.

The biggest news to come out of today however was FinJuice baiting the Good Brothers into a little proud brother title match. After the Good Brothers decided to give them a shot, Juice and Finlay definitely looked like it was part of the plan. This could be the perfect avenue to put the belts on FinJuice. Since Finlay and Juice are both in the New Japan Cup, depending on how far they get, that could be an opportunity to have the Brothers return to Japan. Maybe Machine Gun gets a chance to recapture that 2012 G1 magic this year? Timing lines up fairly well that we could get some cross company fireworks; cause God knows New Japan needs something now.

 Oh and yes, Moose should still win the match at Sacrifice. I’m aware the “spoilers” say Rich won, but Moose is where it’s at.

 


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Andrew’s Impact Wrestling Results & Match Ratings: 2.23.21

Impact starts clearing up title challengers for the impending Sacrifice! New-well sorta new title and champion crowned tonight! Tune in to IMPACT!

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Now we’ve got some fun wrinkles that started last week; so let’s see what we get here! FinJuice are playful but not outright aggressive toward The Good Brothers, but the Brothers don’t appreciate the jabs. Eddie Edwards keeps trying to get his hands on Bad Luck Brian and Susan is making Deonna Purrazzo’s life…interesting? Sure let’s go with interesting.

Aside from that we also have a six man X Division tag that will pit the winning trio against one another next week! So a lot of working out number one contenders and shifting around power dynamics.

Before we start with the Deaner family table feud, let’s see how adorable Tenille and Kaleb are being!

Ratings:

  • Tables Match: Deaner  vs Jake Something: Jake wins via Blackhole Slam through Table – ** ½
  • Trey Miguel, Willie Mack & Josh Alexander vs Ace Austin, Black Taurus & Chris Bey: Bey wins via Art of Finesse -*** ¼
  • XXXL vs The Good Brothers: Good Brothers win via Magic Killer – **
  • Eddie Edwards vs Brian Myers Hernandez: Edwards via Super Boston Knee Party – * ½
  • Kimber Lee & Susan w/Deonna Purrazzo vs Jordynne Grace & Jazz: Jordynne wins via Grace Driver – *
  • TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Moose vs Jake Something: Moose wins via Lights Out – *** – TITLE REACTIVATION!!

 

Results:

Tables Match: Deaner  vs Jake Something

Deaner came out fast with forearms and strikes that had Jake reeling early on. There was an early difficult table since the legs wouldn’t stay folded and caused a bit of early awkward stalling strikes to get to the next spot. Deaner hits an early Drop Toe Hold causing Jake’s face to bounce off the table, but not break it.

There was quite a few moments of teasing Back Body Drops, Powerbombs and Avalanche high spots. Deaner manages to slide out of Jake’s arms, which drives him down on the steps, some back and forth on the ramp where Deaner hits a Low Blow and Jake walks down the ramp to recover. After a small moment of deciding what to do, Deaner charges, Jake catches him into a Blackhole Slam through a table, and wins the match!

Jake’s win is short lived since Moose appears in the ring and hits Lights Out on Jake through a table in the corner. He demands his title match because he won’t allow the show to continue until he gets what he wants.

Scott D’Amore comes out, solid back and forth promo which pisses off Scott to the point of agreeing to a World title match. Scott reinstates the TNA World Heavyweight Title as an official match, and gives Moose the main event against Jake Something.

Trey Miguel, Willie Mack & Josh Alexander vs Ace Austin, Black Taurus & Chris Bey

This was exactly what we expect, but with a small twist. The winning trio gets rewarded with a triple threat next week for number one contendership. Trey tried to show off his aggression mixed with speed, which is just too much and too corny. I mean he’s been trying to show himself in a different light, but he’s still a dork.

Ace Austin however took an interesting leap because he noticed that Bey was in position to win the match for the team, and he played ball. He allowed Bey to tag in, even did a tandem corner John Woo Dropkick/Enzuigiri with Bey, allowing Bey to set up for Art of Finesse on Willie Mack. So Ace really just took the path of least resistance, which is completely in his character, but it was just amusing to watch him gel so well with Bey in the teamwork aspect.

XXXL vs The Good Brothers

Well we see XXXL put up a little bit of a fight.  Gallows got to show off his power by tossing around both members of XXXL. Acey stood his ground a bit better than Larry, but this was really never a question. Larry got a small flurry of offense when he had the size advantage over Karl, but a Magic Killer, a 1,2,3 – then we got a little bit of a TOOO SWEEEET.

Eddie Edwards vs Brian Myers Hernandez

Brian is playing the injury card, even has his lawyer come out over tron to dictate a loophole in the contract. Striker has a great line when the lawyer calls Hernandez their “homie” and he says he wants to punch the guy. Striker has been great, I’ve severely missed his commentary.

Hernandez gets an early advantage, Myers tries to pepper in a few shots even though he’s “too injured” and Eddie is on a quick backfoot. Eddie starts to throw a few strikes together; Hernandez catches him, tries a Border Toss but Eddie slips it, gets to the middle turnbuckle and Super Boston Knee Party.

This does a good job at keeping the Brian Myers story rolling, but the predictability was a bit much. I am happy to see Hernandez used actively though.

Kimber Lee & Susan w/Deonna Purrazzo vs Jordynne Grace & Jazz

This match was sloppy, so it was rough to watch. Yes, some of the sloppiness was gimmicked since Susan seems to be getting more depth in her character as she’s trying moves she sees used by other wrestlers and her own clever ways to escape.

However, much like I said last week, two heel teams don’t really work, so Grace and Jazz were a little obvious in winning the match. It was sloppy, but got where it had to. ODB came out to neutralize Deonna, which got them both thrown out. Susan eats the pin, Kim looks dejected and ODB is laid out in the back after the match.

Was it Deonna? Is it another Knockout? Possibly a returning one with a grudge?

TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Moose vs Jake Something

Scott D’Amore decided to bring it back as an active title. So this will be the first official TNA championship since 2017! A reactivation match if you will!

Jake attacks Moose mid spotlight, and it’s a cool shot as we go to the final commercial break.

In an attempt to bring some of the damage to parity Jake gets the early spots, flinging Moose into the barricades, running him ragged and then coming into the ring for an official start. Jake clubs down into Moose, as Moose has to finally catch his breath with a well-timed Headbutt.

Great slobber knocker big boy match. Jake hits a big Michinoku Driver and Pop-up Powerbomb, but Moose kicks out. Moose does the corner Okada Dropkick and even pulls out the Game Changer from his bag of things we haven’t seen in a year or so. Jake takes the lumps and keeps getting up, but when Moose connects with the Lights Out spear, Jake stays down.

Moose is now OFFICIALLY TNA World Heavyweight Champion!

 

Overall Score: 7.5/10

So we get an official announcement that Sacrifice is the March app event, we the true World title reactivated, clear number one contenders for Fire & Flava’s Knockouts Tags, amusing jabs at dumb matches to help the inevitable Zack Ryder versus Curt Hawkins match come to fruition and Scott D’Amore’s entrance music slaps.

This really did move quickly in a great way, the show told a story by itself since Jake started and ended the show for logical reasons. It’s just really fun and Scott doesn’t feel like too much just yet. Yes he’s involved in a good portion of segments, but if anything he’s more of a plot device to keep the angle rolling instead of taking the attention for himself. I guess my only complaint is that Kiera Hogan was on BTI and not the official episode of Impact.

ANYWAY THOUGH! Moose is officially a World Heavyweight Champion, now he needs to be double champion. Moose is the hype, he is the brand, he is the reason to be watching Impact right now!


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