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Andrew’s Impact Wrestling Ratings & Analysis: 11/5/2019

After the AXS premiere we have a new Impact Champion! Let’s all celebrate with Sami Callihan!

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After the AXS premiere we have a new Impact Champion! Let’s all celebrate with Sami Callihan!

Now that Sami finally has a World Championship; what kind of world do we have to look forward to?

Will Josh Alexander have any words for Marufuji after the loss last week?

Ehh, never mind, all we care about is The Draw! Even Baby Jarvis knows it’s time for some cake!

Ratings:

  • Moose vs Willie Mack: Moose wins via Spear – ** 1/2
  • Michael Elgin vs Fallah Bahh: Elgin wins via Crossface – *** 1/4
  • Ken Shamrock vs Joey Ryan: Shamrock wins via Ankle Lock – *
  • Madison Rayne vs Taya Valkyrie (c): Valkyrie wins via Road to Valhalla – ***
  • Bhupinder Singh w/Desi Hit Squad vs Petey Williams: Petey wins via Sharpshooter – * 1/2.
  • Impromptu Extreme Rules Match: Daga, Tessa Blanchard, Rich Swann & Tommy Dreamer vs oVe: Rich wins via Roll Up – ***

Analysis:

Moose vs Willie Mack – Not a bad opening match. Moose had some great heel moments and both men brought a decent bit of aggression and athleticism. It’s also nice to see Moose get a fairly clean win over someone known to be a damn good wrestler. Aside from the weird slow sell on the dive to the outside, not a lot to nit pick in this. Decent match, helps Moose look legit and the crowd seemed mostly entertained.

-FINALLY! Alisha obviously doesn’t watch the product back after tapings, but it’s about time she stumbled onto a way to end this cringey story.

Michael Elgin vs Fallah Bahh – Fallah is on a bit of a rebuild since he’s lost some weight and starting a friendship with TJP. So going into this match, Elgin was the obvious winner, but this match did a good job at making Fallah look good. Fallah fought out of Elgin Bomb attempts, fired up out of a Death Valley Driver and just looked to have a real shot, numerous times in the match. For as dominate as he’s been, Elgin did sell the challenge, and this was really a good match. Elgin even pulls out the Crossface for the victory.

-Alisha tells Ace to skip dinner and come straight to her room. Most likely setting up Eddie to jump Ace, but let’s all act surprised when the douchebag gets what’s coming to him.

-The North cut a promo telling Marufuji that something must’ve gotten lost in translation. But open challenges from them, mean tag team challenge. So they tell Marufuji to get a teammate and next week will be a Tag Team Championship match. Marufuji and Eddie Edwards time!

Ken Shamrock vs Joey Ryan – So Shamrock comes out in sneakers and Basketball shorts, definitely not taking this seriously. He half asses the match, embarrassing Joey because he thinks he can’t wrestle. Joey does catch him with a Dropkick, which gets Shamrock’s respect, so he offers a handshake, and gets forced to grab the dong. Shamrock gets dick flipped, but fires up off that, hits 2 lariats and an Ankle Lock, then we’re done. Not much of a match, a little amusing, but I guess there’s a Ryan/Shamrock privates joke there somewhere. Hmm…20 years later and he’s still Saving Ryan’s Privates? Meh…I’ll work on it.

Madison Rayne vs Taya Valkyrie (c) – Honestly, much of the enjoyment was Callis and Mathews with their back and forth on commentary. They continue to not acknowledge that Josh and Madison are married, so the comments are hilarious. The match was very competitive, where Madison showed a lot of clever moments. Rolling through the first attempt at Road to Valhalla, managing to put herself into positions where you believed she could win the match, just generally good stuff. Bravo throwing the stuffed Pomeranian into the ring (commentary calls it Hennigan, so I appreciate the wink) to break up a pinfall. That creates the opening Taya needs to win the match. Good match, just enough interference to make sense and not feel over done.

Bhupinder Singh w/Desi Hit Squad vs Petey Williams – This was a throw away match, where the only slightly redeeming thing was they debuted Cameron Adamson, a referee with no legs. Bhupinder tried to beat down the referee after his loss, but Petey and Cameron turned the tables. The referee pulled off a few cool things, and it was a feel good moment.

-So we get the payoff of Alisha turning the tables, Eddie shows up, Alisha wants to beat Ace with Kenny and then a make out session with his wife begins. But he has to grab Kenny. So…three way?

Impromptu Extreme Rules Match: Daga, Tessa Blanchard, Rich Swann & Tommy Dreamer vs oVe – Sami and the rest of the crew went to the ring to celebrate and be asshats. Dreamer comes out for a very mediocre “fans are the real draw” promo, which was gladly saved by the challenge. Granted, numbering off the difference in team was a little too similar to the AEW segment with Inner Circle and Cody’s crew, but hey, it got us where we needed to go.

Decent brawl which saw logical splits, with Tessa interacting mainly with Jake and Sami. Tommy had a few nice moments with the Bionic Elbow and a DDT on a chair. Madman looked like a beast, Sami nearly managed to salvage his celebration, but the bad blood with him and Rich Swann boiled over nicely. Culminating in Rich getting the Roll Up win and most likely a title shot if Sami defends successfully against Cage during Turning Point.

 

Overall Score: 6.5/10

A show that was driven a bit more by the sports entertainment than the in-ring action. We got a few decent matches, but nothing to really be shocked by. However, Alisha finally figuring it out and furthering the Suzie stuff was quite amusing. I also really like the fact that they are placing another person between the Tessa/Sami payoff.

So definitely a pretty good show, but it could be boring depending on what drives your wrestling interest.


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Andrew’s Impact Hardcore Justice Results & Match Ratings: 4.10.2021

Tommy Dreamer is the Executive in Charge of Wrestling! E-C-Dub! Hardcore Justice kicks off! Does Deonna Purrazzo end Jazz’s career?

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Tommy Dreamer is the Executive in Charge of Wrestling! E-C-Dub! Hardcore Justice kicks off! Does Deonna Purrazzo end Jazz’s career?

We have the major story of Jazz putting her career up, but the rest of the card is a bunch of ECW style throwbacks. Charily Legal is one of my favorite dumb names for a Chairs match. Blind Games had an amusing set up, and the whole X Division mystery tag could be fun.

I’m curious if we’ll get any old school ECW performers on this PPV aside from Dreamer and Jazz. So let’s see where Impact’s WrestleMania week show goes!

Ratings:

  • Mystery Partner Triple Threat Tag Match: Ace Austin & Madman Fulton vs TJP & Fallah Bahh vs Josh Alexander & Petey Williams: Alexander wins via Ankle Lock w/Grapevine – *** ¾
  • Chairly Legal: Shera vs Hernandez: Shera wins via Rohit Chairshot – **
  • Doc Gallows w/Karl Anderson vs Black Taurus w/Rosemary & Crazzy Steve: Gallows wins via Double Hand Sitout Chokeslam – ***
  • Crate American Bash: Johnny Swinger vs Matt Cardona: Cardona wins via Radio Silence – ***
  • Open Challenge: Sami Callihan vs Sam Beale: Callihan via Package Piledriver – N/A
  • Blind Games Match: Brian Myers vs Jake Something: Jakes wins via Blackhole Slam – ** ½
  • Number 1 Contender: Knockouts Hardcore Gauntlet: Rosemary vs Tenille Dashwood vs Jordynne Grace vs Alisha Edwards vs Havok vs Su-Yung: Tenille wins – ***
  • Title vs Career: Knockouts Championship: Jazz vs Deonna Purrazzo (c): Purrazzo retains via Cosa Nostra – *** ¼
  • Hardcore Wars: Team Dreamer (Tommy Dreamer, Eddie Edwards, Rich Swann & Willie Mack) vs Team VBD (Eric Young, Rhino, Joe Doering & Deaner): EY wins via Piledriver – *** ½

 

Results:

Mystery Partner Triple Threat Tag Match: Ace Austin & Madman Fulton vs TJP & Fallah Bahh vs Josh Alexander & Petey Williams

This was a crazy fun match where TJP and Fallah faced the Canadians for a good bit of the match, which is perfect strategy from the heel team to let the others try to gas themselves out. Fulton gets to put on a little bit of a show, as he does more athletic set ups for charges and corner attacks than we’ve really seen from the big man.

TJP and Petey had some fun interactions, as did most of the X Division sized wrestlers. Fallah and Fulton took turns taking each other out, and allowing the X Division guys to shine against one another. Fulton had some fun displays of power where TJP was on his back and he still Chokeslammed TJP and Alexander at the same time. Just a lot of fun crazy action that rarely stopped moving.

TJP went for the Mamba Splash on Josh Alexander, but Alexander got the knees up. Petey hits a Canadian Destroyer on TJP. Attempts one on Fallah, but that’s not really smart. Petey moves before the big man drops down on him, which allows to Alexander to take advantage and lock in the Ankle Lock for the win over Fallah.

Chairly Legal: Shera vs Hernandez

This was the usual power guys with weapons kind of match. Chairshots, chairs in the corners, suplexes on piles of chairs. Just the usual fun things in a hardcore match, but it wasn’t exactly captivating. The rub came in when Rohit slides into the ring, lays out Hernandez with a chairshot and then tells Shera to pin him.

Shera and Rohit seems to have an understanding now.

Doc Gallows w/Karl Anderson vs Black Taurus w/Rosemary & Crazzy Steve

Taurus is reeling for a lot of this match. Gallows tosses him around, hits a few Big Boots and Anderson makes his presence felt a bit through the match. Black Taurus manages to comeback a little bit using his agility mixed with the fact he’s not a small guy.

A 619 and Crossbody give Taurus an opening, but due to Karl’s general interference, Crazzy Steve not being overly effective; Gallows catches Taurus after a distraction, Double Handed Choke Bomb and Taurus is done!

The Good Brothers try to gain some traction before the FinJuice rematch.

Crate American Bash: Johnny Swinger vs Matt Cardona

A mystery crate match with a fun reference of name! Given that Swinger is involved there’s a solid bit of gimmick. Swinger goes to some of the crates to find toys. A Scott Hall picture gets pulled out, a Rat Trap is in the second crate (which yeah, that’s funny as hell given that he uses older lingo and has talked about rats before), the third one Cardona opens and doesn’t reveal, while Swinger finds knuckles in the last crate. When Swinger tries to use them, Cardona hits Radio Silence and we’re done!

The match was entertaining just a lot of gimmicks and references. After winning the Swinger-ellas look shocked and Cardona walks away with the third crate, just smiling and never revealing what’s in it. IF it’s the damn wad of money again…sheesh they need to end that.

ImpactPlus Flashback Moment: Hardcore Justice 2010: Sabu vs RVD w/Bill Alfonzo

Good use of acknowledgment since nWo and RVD got inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame this week. Impact tends to use their old footage fairly well.

Open Challenge: Sami Callihan vs Sam Beale

Let’s be aware, this whole match was to enhance the story between Sami and Trey. Beale was abused, bitten and had joints stretched. He nearly pulled off the upset with a flash Small Package, but we knew where this was all going.

He fought hard, but this match wasn’t about him. Sami eats his lunch and the match is over. Nice to see Sami got a workout in.

Blind Games Match: Brian Myers vs Jake Something

The match was amusing watching them stumble about trying to find each other. Some random stuff and few weapon strikes make things odd. Myers bumps the referee, lifts the blindfold, beats on Jake a bit and then drops the blindfold to make it seem like he didn’t cheat.

Before Myers can finish things, Cardona’s music hits, and he walks out with the crate. Cardona distracts Myers a little, slides the crate to Something, Something cracks the crate over Myers’ head and action figures spill out. Blackhole Slam, and then Jake wins.

While the match was awkward, the finish was great. This should kick off Myers finally accepting Cardona’s challenge.

Number 1 Contender: Knockouts Hardcore: Rosemary vs Tenille Dashwood vs Jordynne Grace vs Alisha Edwards vs Havok vs Su-Yung

Okay so let’s work with the abridged version since this was a cluster. Susan comes out first, and then gets demon attacked and become Su Yung. Tenille NOPES out of the entire ring early as Havok and Rosemary look elated to get Su back.

Alisha tried at multiple different times in this match and wasn’t terrible, she even pulled out her own Kendo Stick, Kendra, Kenny’s wife. As she goes off with stick, Su Yung grabs her and takes her to the back. So maybe Alisha will succumb to darkness or something.

Havok and Jordynne go back and forth in a solid exchange, then as Havok goes to the top rope, Nevaeh appears, throws some pocket sand at Havok and Havok crashes to the mat. Kaleb pulls out Jordynne Grace, hits a Superkick and Tenille pins Havok for the win! Pocket Sand and Superkicks!

Title vs Career: Knockouts Championship: Jazz vs Deonna Purrazzo (c)

Jazz opens up quickly with a Spinning Back Kick, drops Deonna but only for an early 2 count. Deonna retreats to the ropes, manages to grab Jazz’s arm and starts working in the technical heel shortcuts. Arm Wringers, Stun Guns, Launchers into the ropes, and just staying on top of working Jazz over on the mat.

Jazz eventually fights out of the corner, and puts a few moves together. An X Factor gets Jazz a near fall, and Deonna finally starts getting frustrated. Some timely strikes open up Deonna’s defenses, but Deonna stems the tide. Paradise Lock in the ropes gave Deonna an edge guarding advantage. She caught Jazz with a few shots, forcing Jazz to come back in through a flurry of kicks and stomps.

Jazz fights through one last time, hits a few strikes, a Samoan Drop and looks to finish things, but Deonna catches her, floats through and attempts the Fujiwara. Jazz fights out to the ropes and Deonna gets mad and says she’s ending this, Deonna sets up her Gotch Style Piledriver known as Cosa Nostra, lands the move and ends Jazz’s career!

Hardcore Wars: Team Dreamer (Tommy Dreamer, Eddie Edwards, Rich Swann & Willie Mack) vs Team VBD (Eric Young, Rhino, Joe Doering & Deaner)

So with Dreamer getting jumped in the back and the doctor says he’s not cleared, we all get to go into the tank and think of fun replacements. Deaner and Eddie start off, and we continue where the IMPACT! match left off, since Deaner has done a great job reinventing himself.

Rhino is next in typical team fashion where the heels keep the early advantage. Willie Mack evens things up, Doering dominates a few people, Rich makes a big push actually equalizing Doering even though he’s smaller to help get across his ability leading towards the Omega match. Then we get to the end, where EY gets the troops together to take over, and the final for Dream Team is…Trey Miguel…vomits in my mouth, of all the things, it could’ve been Sabu or anything else…ugh.

Trey does some things that looks stupid, then we get to a Tower of Doom variation. I don’t like Tower of Dooms, but the fact we have Willie, Rich and Eddie trying to suplex EY, then Doering Triple Powerbombs them, taking EY over as well. So it makes Doering look great. Doering puts Eddie on a table, looks to drop an Elbow from the apron, but Trey hits a Meteora into Doering, as they crash through Eddie and the table.

VBD triple team Willie, Willie fights the good fight for a moment, but then the numbers catch up EY Piledrivers Willie and VBD win.

So Trey continues to underwhelm, which is nice for the Sami story. Maybe Sami can make him stop sucking. It’s a tall task…but who knows.

 

Overall Score: 6.75/10

Well we knew the only really big aspect to this was if it was going to be Jazz’s career or the crowning of a new Knockouts Champion, but the rest of the show was definitely entertaining. Though some of the in-ring action was lacking at times, finishes were fun, the way the stories fed into each other worked well and I was generally amused by how the show went off.

Jazz’s career coming to an end is a little bittersweet, but the fact she was going to retire a little unceremoniously a few months ago, lends a little importance to this run since she got a tad bit more exposure than just peacing out in obscurity after dropping the NWA World Women’s title.

So there we go, fun show, people that needed to be protected were, a new number 1 contender for the Knockouts title and VBD got a much needed win.


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Andrew’s Impact Wrestling Results & Match Ratings: 4.8.2021

Now this is the go home before Hardcore Justice on Saturday! The show airs at 3pm, so it will be over before night 1 of Mania starts! Does Tommy Dreamer have any more fun ideas for the show?

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Now this is the go home before Hardcore Justice on Saturday! The show airs at 3pm, so it will be over before night 1 of Mania starts! Does Tommy Dreamer have any more fun ideas for the show?

So the opening teaser does the trick for today right? I mean…we’re setting up an ImpactPlus App special. So let’s just get to things!

Oh first up, Impact’s special brand of off beat quirky humour still rings through nicely even during a lot of IWC blow back with the AEW partnership. Don’t believe me? Check out the Trust Me, I’m Susan Tik Tok dance.

Ratings:

  • Alisha Edwards, Nevaeh & Tenille Dashwood w/Kaleb vs Rosemary, Jordynne Grace & Havok: Rosemary wins via Red Wedding – ** ½
  • Matt Cardona vs Jake Something: No Contest – ***
  • XXXL (Acey Romero & Larry D) vs Sami Callihan & Trey Miguel: Trey wins via Hourglass – ** ¾
  • Chris Sabin w/James Storm vs Deaner: Sabin wins via Cradle Shock – **
  • Eddie Edwards, Willie Mack & Rich Swann vs Good Brothers & Kenny Omega w/Don Callis: Swann wins via Phoenix Splash – *** ¾

 

Results:

Alisha Edwards, Nevaeh & Tenille Dashwood w/Kaleb vs Rosemary, Jordynne Grace & Havok

Alisha made it a point on Twitter to state she’s sick of being seen as weak or the worst in the Knockouts Division. Alisha started things off with Jordynne, she gave Alisha a little bit, and Lish got a chance to pull off a couple decent combinations. Rosemary and Jordynne brought intensity in the ring, Havok had a quick moment with Nevaeh that ended with them both going through a table, all while Tenille…well she wanted nothing to do with any of this.

Knockouts personalities were obvious, and it was pretty cool to see each woman get moments to shine and push their stories. Nevaeh could end up with a great push if she and Havok turn this split into something special. Nevaeh has a great look, decent enough ability, I just feel like some of the chemistry is off at times.

Matt Cardona is interviewed by Gia Miller in the back to get his reaction to Brian Myers denying the challenge. Cardona is happy, he doesn’t want to fight his friend, and then he plugs his match later with Jake Something!

TAYLOR WILDE IS COMING BACK!

Matt Cardona vs Jake Something

This was actually a solid back and forth. Both Cardona and Jake took short cuts and telegraphed moves, which allowed the other to take advantage of moments. The beauty of this match, is that Cardona and Jake were about the same size. Jake has that farm boy build, so he’s obviously stronger, but given the Zack Ryder past; it’s occasionally lost on people that Cardona isn’t a small chump.

Jake was able to bowl over Cardona at times. Cardona attempted Radio Silence a few times, but Jake caught him and countered with a Powerbomb. Cardona however learned from mistakes and rotated while in the second Powerbomb, and hit a Frankensteiner to the outside.

This allowed for Brian Myers to come down the ramp, shove both men into the apron, lay out Cardona and then drive Jake’s face into the steel steps. Afterward, Myers hits the Raven pose, and maybe he’s just trying to start a faction of Scotty Riggs clones. Eye patches everywhere!

XXXL (Acey Romero & Larry D) vs Sami Callihan & Trey Miguel

It takes Trey a moment to come out, but he finally does; but doesn’t face Sami and comes out purely to fight XXXL. Trey starts off hot, and gets Acey down for a moment, a few quick strikes to Larry put the match in 4th gear in 3 seconds. Larry however blocks a Codebreaker attempt, then uses Trey’s aerial attack against him as he pushes him back and hits a Pop Up Knee Lift.

Acey gets tagged in, Trey counters the tandem move. Low bridge on Acey, drives Larry out next, then looks to dive, but Sami tags himself in. Sami hits a Yakuza Kick as Acey climbs to the apron, and then a Triangle Lariat. You see Sami turn to Trey and say something to the effect of “See, that’s how you use your head” – and now it’s a commercial.

Sami continues the pressure on Acey, Trey tags himself in and gets quick, but again bites off a little too much. Sami tags himself in, and we see malfunction time. Trey swings on Sami, Sami ducks, lifts Trey and throws him at Larry, so Larry has him in Powerbomb position. Sami grins, walks forward, and as Trey tries to take Larry over with the Frakensteiner, Sami kicks Larry’s foot out from under him, to help out the move.

Trey and Sami continue to bicker and try to show up the other, they have a brief moment of understanding, Dual Dives, Sami throws in Larry, tells Trey to finish it, and he does. Sami lifts Trey’s hand after the victory, Trey wrenches away and Sami just smiles.

Trey might end up being tolerable if they pair him with Sami.

Chris Sabin w/James Storm vs Deaner

Deaner actually kept up with Sabin for the most part. Deaner has shown a lot more wrestling ability since dropping the dumb redneck gimmick. Sabin was almost screwed by his lack of ring awareness when he went for a Mouse Trap Roll-Up, but his right foot was under the rope so the referee stopped the count.

Deaner almost pulled off the win with feet on the ropes, but Storm pointed it out and the referee stopped the count. Looking about ready to kill the referee, Deaner gives Sabin too much time to recover, Cradle Shock gets hit and we all hail Sabin.

EY is on the tron, EY and Doering have Chris Harris laid out, Rhino sneaks in behind people in the ring, Gores James Storm and Deaner hits the DDT on Sabin after the match. VBD get the last laugh with the set up!

So TJP, Josh Alexander, Ace Austin and Fulton are exchanging words, Dreamer breaks things up and creates a mystery partner match at Hardcore Justice.

Eddie Edwards, Willie Mack & Rich Swann vs Good Brothers & Kenny Omega w/Don Callis

Team Impact starts hot, sending Kenny to the outside, diving into each member of the Bootleg Club. Each member of the Impact squad keeps momentum after the first commercial as we see Sentons, Drop Toe Holds/Elbow Drops, and just really fun locomotion team moves, very Japanese. BC combats that with more western tactics of pushing Eddie into the corner and mauling him with outside restraints and going through the legality of who gets in a few attacks. This starts a few nice back and forth moments, where as soon as the BC side gets arrogant, the Impact squad takes advantage.

After commercial break two, it seems like Willie lost the advantage and he’s getting beat on by everyone. Willie almost gets some space after crotching Karl into the corner, but Kenny gets in and BC stays in control.

Eventually Eddie comes in, evens the playing field, then we see signature spam like in all Japanese multi-man tags. After a big crash and burn style spot, we get Rich in, while Kenny is still legal. So Rich wipes out the Brother Brothers and goes after Kenny. Kenny hits the Croos Legged Fisherman Neckbreaker and then goes for One Winged Angel, but Rich slips it. Rich then sets up, hits the 450 Splash, and nearly picks up the pin on Omega, but Callis pulls Swann’s foot.

Omega tags in Karl, Karl hits the Shotgun Kick and TKO for a near fall. He calls in Big Hoots for the Magic Killer, but Eddie breaks up the Killer, Willie takes Gallows to the outside and the double team on Karl happens. Karl eats a Lethal Injection, Boston Knee Party and then Phoenix Splash for the Swann to grab some momentum for a champion vs champion match that seems extremely lop sided.

 

Overall Score: 7.25/10

Now let’s hit the note again, that Impact is back on Thursdays which moving forward means AJ will be covering these, but it’s nice since I’ve been a fan for like 15ish years; the day just feels right. A lot of fun story building for Hardcore Justice happened in this show. Everything from the Knockouts showcasing their personalities, Dreamer making his goofy digs with a Millennium of the Blind match or whatever it was called and a few references to things spread throughout were also cool (Beer Money reference that Chris Harris got offended by).

Given this had the unfortunate timing of going against the second day of an NXT Takeover, I think the quality of the show was really well done. Also personally, I took a little bit off the main event, because it was a damn good match with a solid 20ish minutes; but I called the finish last week. It was all executed well, but fill in the blank matches are always a little eye roll inducing to me.


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