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Mitchell’s AEW Dark Results & Report! (12/3/19)

Chicago gets Dark!

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AEW Dark Coverage

The big night in the Windy City continues!

The Thanksgiving Thank You Celebrashon for Le Champion wasn’t the only big thing going on in Chicago! Witness Proud ‘n’ Powerful take on Jurassic Express!

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Brandon Cutler VS Jimmy Havoc; Havoc wins.
  • Shawn Spears w/ Tully Blanchard VS Sonny Kiss; Spears wins.
  • Jurassic Express VS Proud ‘n’ Powerful; Proud ‘n’ Powerful wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

The Dynamite Diamond Ring Bearer is…

…better than you, and you know it! Maxwell Jacob Friedman took a lot of damage at the hands of Hangman Adam Page, but he had one muscular insurance policy in Wardlow. MJF also added insult to injury stealing the Cross Rhodes to win, and he will go down in history as the first-ever winner of the Dynamite Diamond Ring. But even the presentation was tense, as Diamond Dallas Page got heated with MJF and Wardlow. DDP didn’t back down, and with Cody still wanting his own revenge, is this situation only going to escalate?

 

Tony Schiavone and Dasha Gonzales are in the arena as the host tonight’s episode!

Dasha is happy to be back, and happy to talk about the ring presentation confrontation. MJF’s ego is only bolstered by having big bad Wardlow ringside, making any singles match feel like a handicap. Moving on to tonight’s action, an audible had to be called for commentary as special guest, Shanna, was attacked at a meet ‘n’ greet by Nyla Rose! The Native Beast would BEAST BOMB Portugal’s Perfect Athlete through the very table where she was seated, and now takes her seat at commentary! Will the AEW roster stay on Nyla’s good side if they know what’s good for them?

 

Brandon Cutler VS Jimmy Havoc!

The one-man #TotalPartyKill takes on the twisted veteran. Both men really need a win, will Cutler get a saving throw? Or is there no surviving the sickest man in AEW?

The bell rings and Havoc circles with Cutler. They tie up, Havoc powers Cutler to a corner, then lets up. Fans chant “We Want Staples!” because they know Havoc loves to do that, but he was fined after his actions in the Dynamite Dozen battle royal so no can do. Havoc and Cutler tie up and Havoc wrenches to a wristlock. Cutler wrenches back, but Havoc slips around to spin Cutler to a snapmare and crucifix cover, TWO! Havoc keeps on Cutler to wrench to a wristlock but Cutler rolls. Havoc wrangles Cutler back down but Cutler kips up to wring Havoc out! Cutler gets on the arm to keep Havoc grounded, but fans rally up.

Havoc gets up but Cutler hammerlocks. Havoc snapmares free but Cutler sunset flips. Havoc rolls through to jackknife, but Cutler bridges up and spins around. The two fight over the backslide, Havoc gets free to start biting Cutler’s arm! The ref reprimands Havoc but he lets up at 4. Havoc wrenches Cutler to a hammerlock but Cutler drops low to roll and wrench back. Havoc spins and flips Cutler off UK style before giving him a SLAP! Havoc CHOPS Cutler then clubs him to a corner. Havoc whips Cutler corner to corner but Cutler goes up and over with a flip! Cutler tries to flip Havoc off UK style but forgets which way his hand has to face. Havoc shows him the right way then comes out swinging!

Cutler gets under, then slips out to the apron to kick Havoc away, slingshot enziguri! Cutler gets moving, big leaping forearms! Fans fire up as Havoc staggers, and Cutler clotheslines Havoc out. Fans fire up as Cutler builds speed, but Havoc has the staple gun! The referee tells Havoc to put it down and Nyla on commentary even says it’s not worth it. Havoc is warned but he still gets in the ring. Fans want Havoc to do it anyway, but Havoc hands the staple gun over to the ref. The ref puts the staple gun away, but misses the LOW BLOW KICK! Havoc rakes his fingers into Cutler’s eyes then throws him out. Havoc goes out to send Cutler into railing! And then bites his ear!

Havoc drags Cutler up to whip but Cutler reverses to send Havoc into railing! Havoc just eggs Cutler on and Cutler throws haymakers. Cutler clubs Havoc and has him against the post. Cutler swings but Havoc ducks, and the CHOP hits the POST! Havoc aims, but he anticipates Cutler ducking, so Havoc SLAPS him on the back! And pokes him in the eye! The referee reprimands Havoc but Havoc gets Cutler in the ring. Havoc has Cutler in a corner and runs in corner to corner, but Cutler elbows him back. Cutler dodges, returns, but Havoc arm-drags him into buckles! Havoc drags Cutler up to snap suplex him back into buckles! Cover, TWO!

Havoc keeps his cool as he drags Cutler up. Havoc wristlocks and ripcords but Cutler boots, roundhouses and fires off kicks! Havoc is down, Cutler drops a knee! Fans fire up as Cutler full nelsons Havoc. Havoc slips out to BITE again! And then wraps on a sleeper hold! Cutler endures, fans rally up and Cutler fights back. Cutler picks Havoc up, and swings around and around and around for a SLAM! Cover, TWO!! Havoc survives the cyclone and gets to a corner but Cutler runs in. Havoc STOMPS Cutler down! Havoc goes to the apron and drags Cutler up. The ref counts but Cutler fights back. Cutler wrenches and bites back! Then yanks Havoc down to ROUNDHOUSE! Havoc is hung up, Cutler hops out to the apron for the GUILLOTINE!

Cutler puts Havoc in and fans fire up. Cutler springboards, Froggy-Bow! Cover, TWO!! Cutler keeps on Havoc, but Havoc hits a rolling elbow, ACID RAIN MAKER! Cover, Havoc wins!!

Winner: Jimmy Havoc, by pinfall

Cutler continues to be winless, but Havoc continues to be merciless! Havoc has his staple gun back, and some paper from under the ring! Havoc goes in but the ref warns him, this is still going to be a fine. Havoc doesn’t care, he STAPLES a check to Cutler’s head! Havoc planned ahead and prepared the newest payment ahead of time! But will Havoc pay in more ways than monetary?

 

Cutler confronts Havoc backstage!

What the hell, man? Havoc is getting fined again, but he explains that the payment was literally stuck to Cutler’s head. They’re all square, yeah? Is this funny to Havoc? Yeah, actually. When AEW signed Havoc, AEW signed a liability. If Havoc is going to get drunk and fight in bars, he’ll get drunk and fight in bars. If Havoc is going to staple something to someone’s head, he’s going to staple something to someone’s head! But for now, Havoc just staples the check to the wall, a payment in advanced for the next time he staples someone. Cutler just better make sure it isn’t him. A dangerous precedent has been set, will Havoc continue to push the limits week after week?

 

Tony and Dasha review some developments from Dynamite.

The Dark Order’s newest promotional video is here. Stop losing, and start winning. #JoinDarkOrder. The man with glasses from before finds the Dark Order’s place of meeting. “Who are you?” “We are one.” Again! “We are one!” Your friends will doubt your progress. They will say no to this. Why? Because society has failed. Because your friends have failed. Because your families have failed. But the Dark Order will never fail you. You can reach a potential you never thought possible. Just like the First Pupil, Stu Grayson. He became great because he heard the teachings. The Dark Order is all powerful. The Dark Order can be anyone or anything. From a politician to a teacher to the person who cares for your family. They are everyone, everything, and one. The people become Creepers. Are you ready to play? Are you ready to #JoinDarkOrder?

But there’s also a new faction that’s dark and freaky in their own way. The American Nightmare, won his return match, and wanted to have it out with MJF already, but The Butcher, the Blade and the Bunny would emerge from below the ring, through the ring floor! Andy Williams and Braxton Sutter would beat Cody down, and put him on the Chopping Block, suplex to backstabber! Allie is the Bunny, leading us all further down the rabbit hole. What dark wonderland will this trio lead us into?

 

Shawn Spears w/ Tully Blanchard VS Sonny Kiss!

The Chair Man continues to strive for #PERFECT10N in AEW, but has to keep winning to get there. Will he find his seat at the table at the expense of the Concrete Rose?

The bell rings and fans are on Sonny’s side. Spears just chuckles as he ties up with Kiss. Spears puts Kiss in a corner, but surprisingly gives a clean break. They tie up again and Spears wristlocks and wrenches. Spears hammerlocks high to put Kiss on the mat, but Kiss rolls back to his feet. Kiss rolls, handsprings, back flips and waves hi. Spears swings but misses, Kiss kicks but Spears blocks. Spears throws the foot down but Kiss does the splits! And waves hi again. Spears swings a kick, Kiss gets under it to roll Spears up, TWO! Kiss twerks at Spears and Chicago goes wild! Kiss gets around Spears to waistlock but Spears elbows out hard.

Spears chops Kiss then whips to ropes to elbow Kiss down! Spears flexes his glutes, fans chant “10! 10! 10!” Spears gives 11 as he flips them all off. Spears drags Kiss up to back suplex but Kiss lands on his feet to dropkick-flip! Kiss runs into a corner and blocks the boots to turn Spears around for a forearm. Spears is stuck, Kiss handspring ax kicks! Cover, TWO! Kiss goes out to the apron and kicks back in! Then slingshots, but Spears shoves Kiss down! Spears goes out to drag Kiss up and bump off railing! Then ram into apron! And again! And then a back suplex to the apron! Tully gives Spears props as Spears gets back in.

Spears puts Kiss in a corner to throw forearms and stomp a mudhole. Fans rally for Kiss as Spears lariats and stomps Kiss down. Spears catches his breath as he looms over Kiss. Kiss drags himself up but Spears has the fireman’s carry, C4! Cover, Spears wins!

Winner: Shawn Spears, by pinfall

Tully tells Spears to make Kiss pay, and Spears does that by tossing Kiss out of the ring! Spears drags Kiss up to bring towards steel steps. Tully leaps off the apron, SPIKE PILEDRIVER! Fans boo but the damage has been done! There is no mercy from Spears and Blanchard, but will there be golden opportunities in their future?

 

Dasha and Tony return to the AEW Control Center.

They review Dustin Rhodes calling out #BigHurt Jake Hager. Hager broke Dustin’s arm, but Dustin is out for blood. Before Dustin could say much more, the Inner Circle’s Sammy Guevara, Santana and Ortiz attacked! But the Young BUcks would even the numbers while also looking for revenge on the Proud ‘n’ Powerful! The Elite and the Inner Circle will have a big Six Man Tag tomorrow night in Champaign, Illinois, but which side wins the first battle in this faction warfare?

Meanwhile, Best Friends have gotten back on a roll as Trent Barette pins Rey Fenix in a tag match. The two will go 1v1 tomorrow night to see if Fenix can redeem himself when it’s #JustTrent.

Speaking of the Lucha Brothers, Dark shares footage of the Lucha Brothers being interviewed backstage during Dynamite. Pentagon and Fenix wouldn’t let that loss bother them, because they are the BEST tag team in the universe! They have Cero Miedo! But then Christopher Daniels would attack! The Fallen Angel wants after Pentagon, and Pentagon wanted at him right back! But they wouldn’t fight that night, they’ll fight tomorrow night! Will Daniels get revenge on Pentagon for the brutal ambush during the AEW Tag Team Tournament?

 

Dark replays Moxley’s message to AEW.

“Months ago, I declared war on anybody in AEW that wanted to stand in my way.” That hasn’t changed. Every obstacle, every setback, every new scar, Moxley continues to push forward, “blazing a trail to the top of the hill.” Moxley is napalm death. Many look over their shoulders, say their prayers and hope the inevitable never comes, but is there anyone else out there that wants to get Moxley before Moxley gets them? Someone who has a death wish. “This is a call to arms to anybody who wants to step up and be hero. Be a hero! Or get seriously, seriously hurt trying.” Open challenge not withstanding, Moxley would show up in person to stare down Jericho after the main event! But before getting at Le Champion, Moxley has a rematch with the Bad Boy, Joey Janela! Will chaos reign in Champaign?

 

AEW presents: Jurassic Planet.

Lush vegetation and wild animals abound. Jungle Boy is quite the specimen, able to travel on two legs or on all fours. He is an adept hunter, and very attentive to his hygiene. But he is also prepared for any possible dangers. Jungle Boy encounters The Luchasaurus, King of the Jungle. Teeth of the carnivore, “but he’s really just an angry herbivore.” Jungle Boy wants to share with Luchasaurus, but there is another creature lurking in the jungle. Skilled hunters, they track down a rather naughty Babysaurus. Marko Stunt returns to the fold, and Jurassic Express heads onward in their journey.

 

Jurassic Express VS Proud ‘n’ Powerful!

Apparently that journey leads to the Windy City! Jungle Boy and #Babysaurus step up for the trio, but can they get past the “pit bulls among pit bulls,” Santana and Ortiz?

The teams sort out and we begin with Santana and Jungle Boy. Ortiz shouts at fans as Santana and JB approach. Fans rally behind Jungle Boy but Santana waistlocks and shoves him away. Santana and JB circle and tie up, Santana powers JB to a corner. The ref counts and Santana CHOPS out of the break. Santana doesn’t care about clean, but JB shoves Santana back. They tie up and Santana waistlocks to then slam JB down. Santana facelocks and grinds JB down, but JB slips out to get the arm. Fans rally as JB wrenches but Santana rolls and wrenches back. Santana puts JB on the ropes, wrenches and wrenches again to wring JB out. JB rolls and handsprings, things speed up, and JB huricanranas!

Santana staggers up, JB gets moving, Santana shows he has agility, too. Santana flexes but turns around into a dropkick! Fans fire up as JB CHOPS Santana in a corner. JB runs side to side, Stunt tags in and JB elbows Santana in the corner. Stunt runs in to ram his shoulder into Santana! Then JB fireman’s carries Stunt, and JB rams into Santana using Stunt! Santana hurries to his corner to tag Ortiz, but Stunt dodges to send him into JB’s atomic drop! Stunt adds an enziguri, JB trips and rolls Ortiz for double STOMPS! Stunt sentons to add on and cover, TWO! Stunt drags Ortiz up for fast elbows, then wrenches him to tag JB. JB climbs up and drops ax handles.

JB wrenches and Stunt tags back in. Stunt climbs to drop stomps on the arm! JB whips Stunt in for a dropkick, then JB hits Santana. Stunt whips JB for JB to run at Ortiz, but Ortiz goes up and over to waistlock and roll Stunt. Santana waistlocks and picks Stunt up, Ortiz shotgun dropkick-starts the German Suplex! Fans fire up after PNP wreck Stunt, and Ortiz fixes his overalls. Stunt hits back with body shots but Ortiz claws his back! Ortiz shows those claws as he claws Stunt’s chest! Ortiz back suplexes Stunt down hard! Cover, TWO! Ortiz wrenches Stunt and claws his back again before tagging Santana in. Santana kicks Stunt’s arm then pulls on his hair for a BIG back suplex! Santana flexes then stands on Stunt for a cocky cover. TWO, and Stunt kicks from the mat!

Santana kicks the legs, then dead lifts Stunt into a suplex. Santana holds Stunt up for a count of 15 before Ortiz tags in to take the hand-off. Ortiz holds Stunt for a count of 10 before tagging back to Santana. Another hand-off, Santana has Stunt for another 10 before tagging back to Ortiz. Stunt is turning red as Ortiz has another count of 10, and Santana tags in again! Santana takes Stunt again, and holds him with one arm while flexing! But Stunt takes advantage with an inside cradle! TWO!! Santana gets up, gives Stunt uno amigo! Then dos amigos! Then he holds Stunt up again! Ortiz tags in, takes the hand-off, and Santana BOOTS JB as Ortiz hits the Falcon Arrow! Stunt flounders out of the ring but Ortiz rams him into railing. Ortiz drags Stunt up and claws the back again.

Santana keeps on JB, Ortiz brings Stunt up, they whip Jurassic Express at each other. But JB and Stunt do-si-do to come back at PNP, only to get a SPINE BUSTER SANDWICH! Santana scoops JB onto the ramp while Ortiz swivels his hips in the ring. Santana scoop slams Stunt onto JB! Ortiz joins Santana outside again and they fetch steel chairs! They arrange the chairs next to each other and sit Jurassic Express down. Santana CHOPS JB, Ortiz CHOPS Stunt. PNP get space, Ortiz is the step for Santana’s Poetry in Motion CANNONBALL! Santana gets a STRIKE as he bowls both JB and Stunt over! The ref checks on Jurassic Express but somehow they’re still okay to continue.

Ortiz throws Stunt into the ring and has the Boston Crab! Stunt endures, crawls his way over, and gets the ropebreak! Fans cheer as Ortiz reluctantly lets go. Ortiz mocks JB but Stunt runs in! Ortiz catches Stunt in time, but Stunt sunset flips! TWO, Stunt dodges to tag JB! Jungle Boy rallies, hitting Santana for good measure! Elbow and forearm for Ortiz, another forearm smash! JB whips, runs and LARIATS! Fans fire up as JB gets to the corner and climbs up. Santana anchors JB but JB hammers away. JB kicks Santana away, then kicks Ortiz. JB leaps for a crossbody! Cover, TWO!

JB drags Ortiz up and fans rally behind him. Ortiz reverses the whip and Santana anchors JB for Ortiz’s rolling headbutt! Tag to Santana, PNP double whip JB but JB holds ropes. JB sends Ortiz out then Santana. Santana shoulders back in then slingshots for a sunset, but JB holds the ropes! Ortiz slingshots to help with the sunset and then Santana prawn clutches, but Stunt is up top! Stunt DOUBLE STOMPS Santana!! Then it’s STUNT in Motion off JB and he hits Ortiz with a DDT!! JB drags Santana out and pump handles Stunt for the ripcord splash and leg drop combo! Cover, TWO!! Santana survives and Stunt goes out.

JB tags Stunt in, and JB whips him at Santana. Santana puts Stunt on the apron to forearm down. Santana elbows JB but Stunt enziguris Santana back! JB has Santana in the Canadian rack and Stunt climbs up, NECKBREAKER DOMINATOR! Cover, TWO!! Santana survives again!? Nyla wants to call it the Banana Peel. Stunt tells JB to get to the corner again. Stunt climbs, fans fire up, but Ortiz trips JB up and throws him into steel steps! Stunt leaps but his rana is blocked! Inverted Bomb! Ortiz drags Stunt up for a POWERBOMB! Swing back, STREET SWEEPER! Cover, Santana and Ortiz win!

Winners: Proud ‘n’ Powerful, Santana by pinfall

The Inner Circle’s Boricua badasses bounce back after their loss to Private Party, and Sammy Guevara comes out to celebrate with them. Sammy vlogs it all as they beat down Jurassic Express! Fans boo but the Inner Circle soaks up the heat. Fans want Luchasaurus, and here he comes! Sammy goes out to intercept, but gets caught in a choke grip! He slips out of the choke slam but gets Luchasaurus’ boot and ROUNDHOUSE! Santana hurries over but gets a kick for it! Luchasaurus is in, Ortiz blocks a boot but not the knee! Luchasaurus boots Ortiz down, and grabs both Proud ‘n’ Powerful. But they break free, Sammy returns, big knee from the Spanish God! But Luchasaurus ducks the double clotheslines, goes Matrix to dodge Sammy’s attack, and then the Tail Whip hits Santana! Roundhouse for Sammy! Choke SLAM and standing moonsault for Ortiz!

Fans cheer for the dominant dino-man, but here comes Jake Hager! Fans are ready to see this supersized showdown, as is Luchasaurus. Luchasaurus dares Hager to do something, so Hager shoves him. Hager clotheslines but Luchasaurus stays up. Luchasaurus roundhouses but Hager stays up! The process repeats, clothesline for kick, but neither man falls. Hager gets angry, but he runs into a choke grip! The Inner Circle save their heavy! They beat Luchasaurus down 4v1, but here come the YOUNG BUCKS! SUPERKICKS for Proud ‘n’ Powerful! Luchasaurus has Sammy again, gut wrench and spinning facebuster! DOUBLE SUPERKICKS! JB and Stunt vlog this for Sammy!

Stunt wants his payback, too, and fans want to see it, too! “Marko’s gonna kill~ you!” JB and Luchasaurus swing Stunt back and forth, back and forth, and let him fly for a DESTROYER! Fans are thunderous as Jurassic Express stands tall alongside Matt and Nick Jackson! Does The Elite have unlikely allies in their war against The Inner Circle?

 


 

My Thoughts:

A pretty good episode, though there was quite a bit of Dynamite recap. Apparently, last week’s Dynamite didn’t do so hot, but I also noticed there was no Undeniable to Undesirable. Maybe they didn’t have time to do a segment like that so they had to fill for time with recaps. But those aside, most of tonight was really good. Nyla Rose did a lot better on commentary than I expected, and she had some great lines during each of the matches. And honestly, I think she nailed naming the combo move we saw from Stunt and Jungle Boy. Havoc VS Cutler was a solid opener, and I like the story direction for Havoc not caring about the fines as he staples anything and everything he wants to whatever he wants.

Spears VS Kiss was a good match, and while Spears wins clean, they’re clearly making something out of the Spike Piledriver with Tully helping out. But if the Dynamite Diamond Ring isn’t up for grabs, I feel like there are still going to be a lot of great midcard guys spinning their wheels like this. I really liked the Jurassic Planet vignette, that was pretty fun. Jurassic Park’s Jungle Boy and Stunt VS Proud ‘n’ Powerful was a really fun main event tag, both teams showing some innovation and intensity. Naturally, PNP wins to keep strong towards Dynamite’s coming Six Man Tag. That was of course plugged with action when the Bucks came out to help.

Luchasaurus got a lot of great shine against the smaller Sammy Guevara, Santana and Ortiz, and we finally got something for Hager and Luchasaurus. That match has to be coming for a big episode of Dynamite. Perhaps the last one of 2019 on 12/18 or the literal first of 2020, 1/1. And it doesn’t even matter who wins, as long as it’s as epic as it feels. Hager’s first match in AEW really does need to be something awesome like that, so Luchasaurus would make the perfect opponent.

My Score: 8.2/10


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