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Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (12/30/19)

The last Raw of 2019!

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NEW Raw coverage

Is the year going to end with joy or sorrow?

2019 is coming to a close, and The Ravishing Russian wants us all to share in her special day. Will Lana and Bobby Lashley live ravishingly ever after?

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Aleister Black VS Buddy Murphy; Aleister wins.
  • Erick Rowan VS Kip Stevens; Rowan wins.
  • Charlotte Flair VS Natalya; Flair wins.
  • The Street Profits VS The OC w/ AJ Styles; The Street Profits win.
  • 2v1 Handicap Match: Zack Ryder & Curt Hawkins VS Drew McIntyre; McIntyre wins.
  • Andrade Almas w/ Zelina Vega VS ???; changed to…
  • Andrade Almas w/ Zelina Vega VS Ricochet; Almas wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Kevin Owens is in Hartford!

And Hartford is fired up to see the Prizefighter! “We’re going to kick off the new year early, and we’re going to kick it off with some fireworks, courtesy of Kevin Owens!” And why is that? Footage will show you why. Seth Rollins gave Kevin Owens a beat down for Christmas! The Architect and his new sidekicks beat Kevin down, then targeted Rey Mysterio’s United States Championship. Rollins was going to lose but the AOP went after the King of Lucha. And when Samoa Joe stood up to them, Rollins had Akam and Rezar go after him, too! The holidays were anything but happy for Kevin, Joe or Mysterio.

Kevin says the Architects of Pain have been running wild all over Raw, even putting him in the hospital. But guess what? Kevin will keep calling them out, keep getting beat down, but swears to take “one of you idiots down with me!” The problem is the consequences of the AOP’s actions hurt those Kevin respects. One name that comes to mind is Rey Mysterio. There aren’t a lot of people in the industry that Kevin respects, but after being hospitalized, it was sickening to see the AOP gang up on Mysterio and Rollins Curb Stomp him down. Those actions are why Mysterio lost to Andrade Almas at Madison Square Garden. Yes, last Thursday, Almas was able to defeat Mysterio and take the United States Championship!

Kevin says after watching the footage, he’s sick of studying film. And just as he wants, Rollins and the AOP appear! Rollins tells Kevin that “you still are failing to see the big picture!” This is not something Rollins chose, it is something forced upon him by Kevin and those like him “that think that they know best.” Rollins finds himself in this position as a “sacrifice.” Rollins sacrifices himself for the greater good. He is WWE’s wrestling savior! Kevin has left Rollins no choice but to impose his will. And if you resist, well, you saw what happened to Mysterio and Joe. The AOP will enforce Rollins’ will. But Kevin doesn’t care, he heads right for them! A new brawl begins on the ramp! Then to ringside! Rollins questions when Kevin is going to learn his lesson.

Things end up in the ring and Kevin is 2v1 in a corner as Akam and Rezar hammer and knee away. Rollins tells them to “teach him a lesson.” The mugging continues, but here comes Samoa Joe! And he BOOTS Akam then throws Rezar into barriers! Joe glares at Rollins and Rollins is ready to fight! And fight they do! Joe jabs and jabs and headbutts! COQUINA CLUTCH! But Rollins is saved by the AOP! Akam and Rezar hammer Joe down but Kevin has a chair! Kevin SMACKS Akam, then Rezar! Rollins is on Kevin and things are 3v2! But here comes security to break things up! Rollins and the AOP are pulled away from Joe and Kevin, but then Kevin and Joe break free! They go after Rollins and the AOP! Rollins retreats as fans chant to “Let Them Fight!” The AOP follow, but Kevin climbs up top! Kevin CANNONBALLS onto them all!!

Kevin gets up and Joe joins him in hammering down AOP! Security keeps trying to restore order, but Raw goes to break!

 

Raw returns as Joe and Kevin talk backstage.

They’re ready to fight anywhere, any time. Charly Caruso comes in to interview them before they’re ejected. Why is Joe getting involved in this situation? Well much like Rollins, Joe didn’t have a chose. Rollins chose for Joe to be involved. Rollins chose not to be safe again. Rollins made a choice that Kevin and Joe are not standing alone! Kevin and Joe have known each other for a long time. Kevin’s known a lot of badasses, but none as bad as Joe. And after everything they’ve both done in this company, Kevin could not have imagined anyone being by his side. But he’s glad it’s Joe. Security is coming, they’re being asked to leave, that seems to happen a lot. But this week, oh hey guys. Well Joe and Kevin did what they wanted to accomplish. Now they have a whole week to plan for next time. Joe makes it simple: anyone lays a finger on him, they lose those fingers. Happy New Year.

 

Aleister Black VS Buddy Murphy!

TLC revisited as the Embodiment of the End and the Aussie Juggernaut decide to have another fight! Who wins this rematch to cap off their 2019?

The bell rings and Murphy circles with Aleister. Aleister gives testing kicks but Murphy stays up. Aleister gets a leg and puts Murphy in a corner. The ref counts and Aleister lets up, but Murphy shoves. Murphy headlocks and holds on as Aleister tries to power out. Aleister gets free the second time but Murphy runs him over. Things speed up, Aleister hurdles Murphy but Murphy huricanranas! Aleister bails out, Murphy builds speed, but he fakes Aleister out and sits down, crossed-legs! “Am I in your head yet?” Aleister kicks but Murphy ducks under to roll up, TWO! Murphy gets thrown out, now Aleister sits down! “Am I in yours?” Murphy kicks but Aleister ducks, kips up, waistlocks, and ducks the elbow to give an elbow! Cover, ONE!

Aleister drags Murphy up, facelocks and rams knees to snap suplex. Cover, ONE! Aleister keeps on Murphy with a facelock and then shifts to go after an arm. Fans rally up and Murphy fights his way up, but Aleister keeps on tight. Murphy gets free but gets a ROUNDHOUSE! Aleister brings Murphy to a corner and throws body shots. The ref backs Aleister up, and Murphy hits back! Aleister knees then snapmares, runs and basement dropkicks! Cover, ONE! Aleister keeps on Murphy with an armlock. Murphy endures, even as Aleister stands over him in full mount. Murphy fights his way back up, pulls hair, but Aleister puts him in the corner for shoulders and kicks! Murphy turns things around but is put on the apron. Murphy jumps the sweep to buckle bump Aleister! Murphy climbs up but gets a KICK!

Fans are fired up as Murphy is out on the top rope! Aleister climbs to join Murphy, prepares a superplex but Murphy fights back. Murphy adjusts, sunset flips but no bomb. So Murphy tucks Aleister in, but gets a boot! Murphy trips Aleister up! Aleister hits post and tumbles to the floor! Both men sputter as Raw goes to break.

Raw returns as the two men brawl on the apron. Aleister BOOTS Murphy into the post! Aleister then climbs up, to MOONSAULT! Aleister hits Murphy down and gets him in the ring fast. Aleister kicks away then goes after the knee. He sweeps the legs then thrusts in the knee! Fans fire up as Aleister runs and springboards, QUEBRADA! Cover, TWO! Aleister looms over Murphy as fans rally up. Aleister goes after a leg but Murphy kicks him away. Aleister ends up outside the ring again, and Murphy grits his teeth as he hobbles over. Murphy drags Aleister up but gets another ROUNDHOUSE! Aleister climbs back to the apron and hooks Murphy on the ropes to ROUNDHOUSE again! Murphy flops down and Aleister heads to the top!

Aleister leaps over Murphy and comes back, but into a BUCKLE SHOT! Dropkick and rolls up, with feet on the rope! The ref sees that and calls off the count! Murphy was too blatant in his cheating, but he sends Aleister out again. Murphy wrecks Aleister with a dropkick, then builds speed to FLY! A glancing tope conjilo but he hobbles back to put Aleister in. Murphy climbs up top and leaps, SUPER METEORA! Cover, TWO!! Aleister survives but Hartford is loving it! “This is Awesome!” as Murphy forces himself to stand. Murphy hobbles back to Aleister but Aleister goes for the leg. Murphy hammers and stomps Aleister away, then heads up top. Aleister anchors a leg, Murphy hammers him again. Aleister goes up but gets a Super Gourd Buster! Then sunset flip, to POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO!!

Both men are down and Murphy is beside himself. He shakes his head, refusing to give up. Fans build to a rally and Murphy gets to his feet. Murphy uses his foot to lift Aleister, but Aleister hits a knee jammer! SUPERKICK from Murphy anyhow! Then AUS- No, Aleister blocks the knee and sweeps the leg! Strike fest but Murphy ducks to give his own strike fest! Aleister dodges, QUESTION MARK KICK! Aleister boots to KNEE TRIGGER from Murphy! Murphy goes but Aleister suplexes to a BRAIN BUSTER! Cover, TWO!? Fans are thunderous as Murphy and Aleister stir. Aleister sits up first and gets to his feet. Murphy flounders but Aleister lifts him with his foot.BLACK- NO! KNEE TRIGGER! Pump handle, but victory roll! TWO, BLACK MASS!! But Aleister catches Murphy with his foot. And brings him back up! BLACK MASS AGAIN!! Cover, Aleister wins!!

Winner: Aleister Black, by pinfall

Aleister made sure to leave no doubt! Murphy once again #FadesToBlack, but will Aleister use this win to head for gold?

 

The Authors of Pain are arguing.

Rollins tells Akam and Rezar to calm down. They need to explain things. Akam and Rezar are watching the halls. No one is kicking them out tonight. Rollins says they’re not being kicked out, they were politely asked to leave. Raw wants to end the year without their savior, Seth Freakin’ Rollins. Let them try! The show will be shut down by the end of the next match. SEcurity does come along, “right on cue” as Rollins sees it. They will not be needed, they are leaving voluntarily. Akam and Rezar glare, and they’re left alone as they follow Rollins out.

 

Lana prepares for her big day.

And Erick Rowan congratulates her on the wedding. But Lana has misplaced an invite for him. Or does she not like him? Which is it? Lana is very wary of Rowan and his critter. Rowan says they don’t really care either way. Then he roars before leaving. Will there be any other guests unhappy with tonight’s ceremony?

 

Erick Rowan VS Kip Stevens!

Big Red might be green with envy over Bobby Lashley and Lana having their wedding, but will he be making yet another opponent black and blue tonight?

Kip is frightened as the bell rings, and he immediately gets out of the ring. But Kip sees he’s cornered with Rowan ready to go to either side of the ring. So Kip goes UNDER the ring! Rowan watches the sides, he’s seen this trick before. Rowan sees Kip see the cage, and Kip avoids that, only to get a BOOT! And then throw into barriers! Rowan throws Kip face first into the apron! Rowan refreshes the count and puts Kip in like a sack of potatoes. Fans boo Rowan as he paces around the ring. Rowan makes sure his critter is safe in its cage. Rowan then gets in to corner splash and scoop slam Kip hard! Running SPLASH! Cover, but Rowan lets up at Two! To clamp on the IRON CLAW SLAM! Cover, now Rowan wins.

Winner: Erick Rowan, by pinfall

Rowan fetches his pet and heads to the back. Will Rowan run roughshod over hapless mortal men until his own appetite for destruction is satiated?

 

Lana continues wedding preparations.

Rowan was terrifying, but clearly obsessed with her. Just like everyone is, because duh, she’s Lana. Will the Ravishing Russian have all eyes on her at the end of the night?

 

Charlotte Flair is here!

Hartford lets out a “WOO~!” for the Queen! Charlotte struts to the ring and picks up a mic to return the “WOO~!” Charlotte also says, “Guess what? I am here to announce my entry into the Women’s Royal Rumble match.” A natural move, and an exciting one! The Queen in the Royal Rumble. But she knew she would be, the fans figured she would be, and the world knows she will be. But why come out and state the obvious? Who would want that? She could go on and on about being the 10-time Women’s Champion, that she was part of the WrestleMania 35 main event, and that she is “arguably the greatest of all time!” Or she could talk about the first woman to make her entry this year. That means she is the first woman of the new decade, the 2020’s, to do that! Well, first superstar, really.

But Charlotte is tired about talking about how great she is. Surely the fans are, right? So instead, Charlotte will SHOW us how great she is! She has her favorite robe, her favorite boots, so who wants to face her? Who wants to BOW DOWN?! The woman to answer this open challenge is Natalya! The Queen of Harts takes on the Queen of Flair after the break!

 

Charlotte Flair VS Natalya!

Raw returns as the bell rings. Charlotte and Natty circle and tie up. Natty headlocks and hits the takeover but Charlotte headscissors. natty pops out and both women kip up. Fans cheer as the Queens circle again. They tie up, Natty wristlocks, but Charlotte cartwheels and reverses, to get the headlock takeover. Natty gets her own headscissors but Charlotte pops out! Charlotte struts but Natty goes at her again. Waistlock but Charlotte drops down. Natty floats to the headlock but Charlotte slips out to get her own. Natty pries free to a wristlock and wrenches. Natty whips, Charlotte goes up but is put out on the apron. Charlotte shoulders in then slingshots to roll up, TWO!

Natty SLAPS Charlotte! Then snapmares and runs over Charlotte, but Charlotte kips up to LARIAT! Charlotte catches her breath and drags Natty up, but Natty blocks to snap suplex! And DISCUS! Cover, ONE, but Natty stays close on Charlotte. Natty throws Charlotte down by her hair and hooks the legs. Charlotte resists but Natty slaps her around. Natty gets the arms and pulls, for the SURFBOARD! Natty holds Charlotte up in the Romero Special, but Charlotte gets free. Charlotte rolls off to BOOT Natty down! Cover, TWO! Charlotte drags Natty up and bumps her off buckles, then off more buckles. Charlotte hooks a leg on the ropes and pulls! The ref counts and Charlotte KICKS the knee! Then drops a knee, but misses! Natty bumps her off buckles again! And then into the post! Natty drags Charlotte out to snap suplex on the ramp! Charlotte writhes but Natty shows no mercy!

Natty brings Charlotte up and into the ring, then stomps away on Charlotte. Cover, ONE, but Natty brings Charlotte around. Natty gets mad at the ref and snap suplexes Charlotte again. Natty kicks Charlotte while she’s down! “Did that feel good, Charlotte?” Charlotte throws forearms but Natty gives them back. They brawl, Natty stomps Charlotte in the corner and fires off haymakers! The ref backs her off but she comes back. Charlotte goes up, Natty hits post! Charlotte grabs the legs for a draping Boston Crab! The ref counts but Charlotte lets go at 4. Natty flops out of the ring, and Charlotte takes a moment to catch her breath and soak up the cheers and jeers. The ring count climbs but Charlotte goes out. Wait, is that R-Truth?! The 24/7 Championship chase heads around the ring!

Truth runs from Shelton Benjamin, No Way Jose, Cedric Alexander, Mojo Rawley and Eric Young, going full laps! Eric tries to use the ring as a shortcut, but gets a BOOT from Charlotte! Truth keeps running around the ring and the others keep pursuing, as Raw goes to break!

Raw returns, the 24/7 Championship chase is gone, and Charlotte puts Natty up top. Natty fights back but Charlotte SLAPS her. Charlotte climbs up to join Natty but Natty resists. Natty shoves Charlotte down, then adjusts, to CROSSBODY! Cover, TWO! Charlotte drags Natty up and throws haymakers. Charlotte whips, Natty reverses but Charlotte kicks back! The boot is blocked and Natty GERMAN SUPLEXES Charlotte away! Natty drags Charlotte up for a waistlock but Charlotte elbows out hard. Charlotte scoops for an EXPLODER! Natty ends up in a corner, Charlotte glares as she runs in, but the boot is ducked! Natty picks Charlotte up, for a POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO!! Both women are down but fans are fired up. Natty grits her teeth as she brings Charlotte around. Charlotte boots out of the Sharpshooter and rolls Natty, TWO!

The brawl is on again as Natty hammers away on Charlotte. The ref has to pull her away, Charlotte BOOTS the discus down! Then SPEARS Natty down! Cover, TWO!! Fans are fired up as Charlotte is shocked. Charlotte drags Natty to a drop zone before dropping knees on the knee! Natty pushes out of the Figure Four then drags Charlotte around, but still no Sharpshooter! NATURAL SELECTION! It was low, Charlotte covers, TWO!! Charlotte shakes her head, she refuses to give up. She drags Natty to a new drop zone and heads up top. Charlotte climbs up, MOONSAULT, Natty puts her boots up! But Charlotte catches them to figure four! Natty cradle counters, TWO! BOOT! Then the “WOO~” for the Figure Four! And then the bridge, FIGURE EIGHT! Natty endures, reaches, powers up, but taps! Charlotte wins!

Winner: Charlotte Flair, by submission

And the first woman to enter the Royal Rumble is a winner! But will Charlotte win the Rumble to go on to WrestleMania 36?

 

Backstage interview with Becky Lynch!

The Raw Women’s Champion is here, and she’s still waiting to face Asuka. The challenge was accepted, and Becky chooses the Royal Rumble for their match! The Man VS The Empress for the title! A huge decision, but how was this finally made? Becky’s contract is almost up, so she used Becky VS Asuka as the bartering chip. She’s gambling a lot. She could just accept one of the biggest contracts ever, and be one of the longest reining champs, but she can’t give up that loss to Asuka. Becky could coast, but if this is what being on top is, she doesn’t want it. History demanded a woman be the face of the business, and that has happened. But Becky needs to see if she’s worth it. Being a golden goose means being in golden shackles. Becky vows to wipe that loss from her record, even if it kills her. Is Becky finally ready for Asuka?

 

Bobby Lashley is also preparing for the wedding.

He’s wearing the slacks, the suit jacket, and not much else. Will the Rocky Mountain Machine be ready to live ravishingly ever after?

 

Liv Morgan speaks.

“To be different, you can’t just look different. You have to feel different.” Someone once made Liv feel “different.” And then they took that all away. The old Liv would’ve done something impulsive. The new Liv is “more methodical.” Liv will strike when she’s ready. And she’s almost ready. Are you?

 

The OC head to the ring!

The Phenomenal One and the Best Tag Team in the World throw up the Too Sweet in Hartford! They each take up a mic and AJ Styles says, “If there are any doubters left that still need proof that Raw is the OC’s show, here it is.” Styles of course means the Good Brothers beating the Viking Raiders 2v2, then the OC beating the Viking Raiders and Randy Orton in Six Man Tag action! “Everybody said the Viking Raiders were unbeatable. Even stupid people like you were saying that!” But the OC beat them “time and time again.” One time being at Crown Jewel to officially be recognized as the Best Tag Team in the World! Look at that trophy!

Gallows agrees with “Hot Karl.” When it comes to who is next to challenge the “goofs,” the answer is- The Street Profits! Angelo Dawkins and Montez Ford are here and with mics of their own. “Dawkins, is it true that Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson have beaten the unbeatable Viking Raiders more than once?” It is. Is it true that Gallows & Anderson just won the biggest tag team turmoil in history, making them the BEST Tag Team in the WOOOOORLD? Yes, they did. Then what does that mean for the Profits? Because on their debut, they BEAT Gallows & Anderson? Pause! “Fam, don’t get inspired, bruh.” But yeah, they beat they A$$. Then what does that mean for the team that beat the best team in the world? That means the PROFITS are- “Lucky.” Styles says they’re just lucky. They’ve only had a handful of matches. The best thing to do is stick to that shtick backstage, or get hurt.

Dawkins says he’d feel threaten, but this is coming from three men naming themselves after a teen soap opera. Ford sings for California~ but Gallows has had enough. This isn’t High School Musical, this is Raw. Get in the ring so they can fight! Well okay then, fam. The Street Profits are up and #WeWantTheSmoke!

The Street Profits VS The OC w/ AJ Styles!

The bell rings and Dawkins steps to Anderson! They circle, tie up, and Dawkins headlocks. Ford tags in and takes the hand-off to a wrench. Anderson hits back and bumps Ford on buckles. Anderson whips corner to corner, Ford goes up and over and shows off his agility! Ford arm-drags Anderson to an armlock and flicks his tongue at Styles. Ford keeps on Anderson, “Tell me how good I am!” Anderson fights his way up, whips free but Ford reverses to dropkick Anderson down! Cover, TWO! Ford keeps his eyes on Styles as he drags Anderson over. Tag to Dawkins, Dawkins hops up and drops ax handles on Anderson’s arm!

Dawkins headlocks Anderson but Anderson powers out. Dawkins hurdles Anderson then throws Anderson to the ropes to run him over! Ford is fired up abut Styles swipes at Dawkins! The ref keeps Dawkins back and EJECTS Styles! The OC are furious but now things are even! Raw goes to break as the Profits are fired up!

Raw returns again and Anderson grinds Ford down with a chinlock. Ford endures and fights his way up as fans rally. Ford reaches but Anderson kicks and whips him away. Ford BOOTS from the corner, but runs into a neckbreaker! Cover, TWO! Anderson keeps his cool as he drags Ford up by his ear. Tag to Gallows and the OC mugs Ford. Gallows puts Ford in a corner to throw big body shots! Gallows ROCKS Ford with the uppercut! Gallows drags Ford up, suplexes and drops Ford down. Cover, TWO! Gallows clamps onto Ford and drives elbows in over and over. Gallows wraps on a new chinlock and grinds Ford down. Ford endures as fans rally with “We Want the Smoke!” Ford feeds off that energy to get to his feet and fight with elbows. Gallows shoves and BOOTS Ford down! Cover, TWO!

Gallows drops a leg on Ford, brother! Cover, TWO! Gallows puts the chinlock back on and Anderson talks trash from the corner. Dawkins coaches Ford and fans rally again. Ford fires up again as fans continue to chant “We Want the Smoke!” Ford fights up but Gallows clubs him down. Gallows DECKS Dawkins, but Ford dropkicks Gallows! Both men are down now, but Gallows crawls to his corner. Ford crawls but Dawkins isn’t there. Tag to Anderson, and Anderson back suplexes. Ford slips out, ducks and Dawkins is back! Hot tag tot he Curse of Greatness! Dawkins rallies on the OC, big uppercut for Anderson! Dropkick for Gallows! EXPLODER for Anderson! Dawkins fires up and fans fire up with him! Dawkins cyclone splashes Gallows, then Anderson! BULLDOG! Cover, TWO!

Dawkins keeps on Anderson but has to ROCK Gallows with a right. Anderson hits a SPINE BUSTER! Cover, TWO! Tag to Gallows and Anderson hits Ford away. Gallows lifts Dawkins, back suplex neckbreaker combo! Cover, TWO! Gallows tags Anderson back in and they drag Dawkins back up. Ford stops Magic Killer but Gallows ROCKS him. Ford comes back with a dropkick! Anderson whips Ford, but Ford dodges to FLY out onto Gallows! Dawkins gives Anderson a SPINE BUSTER! Tag to Ford, Ford climbs up, WORLD STAR SPLASH! Cover, the Profits win!!

Winners: The Street Profits, Ford by pinfall

It’s not a fluke, it’s real! The Profits get another win on the Best Tag Team in the World, the team that beat the Raw Tag Team Champions! Does this mean Ford and Dawkins are headed for those titles in the New Year?

 

It’s official!

The Royal Rumble will have Becky Lynch defend her Raw Women’s Championship against Asuka! A rematch one year in the making, who will be the best when the dust settles?

 

Lana checks the flowers.

They are lovely and smell lovely, too. Will the most ravishing wedding in WWE history be perfect?

 

The Profits celebrate!

“YEEEEEEEAH!” Did you see that? They beat the OC, the Best Tag Team in the WOOORLD, again! Doesn’t that make them the best team in the UNIVERSE? No, bigger than that. Bigger than the universe?! What’s bigger than that?! The MULTIVERSE! Whoa what’s that? A hypothetical group of multiple universes. The theory is that there are parallel worlds and universes with parallel versions of Earth. This is based on theoretical- Nevermind. Isn’t he ready for the wedding? Lana and Lashley! Dawkins don’t care about that. Where them bridesmaids at? But seriously, to the OC AND the Viking Raiders. The Profits have 2020 vision! The most important words in this or any universe: WE WANT THE SMOKE!

 

2v1 Handicap Match: Zack Ryder & Curt Hawkins VS Drew McIntyre!

After the Major Bros were each beaten down by the Scottish Terminator, they want to see him do that fair and square against them both! Will McIntyre have the happiest New Year when he drops these two?

McIntyre has a mic as he makes his entrance and he seems to be laughing at Ryder and Hawkins. “Ladies and gentlemen, tonight we have ourselves a two-on-one match.” Hawkins & Ryder VS the #SexyScot, McIntyre. McIntyre leans on the barrier and says he’s supposedly at a disadvantage. But he has a feeling that he shouldn’t worry at all. But he’ll put this theory to the test and take a poll. Hartford, make sure you’re real pretty because you’re going to be on TV. Well maybe not that guy. But who here thinks McIntyre should be worried? A handful. But who thinks Ryder and Hawkins, who got brutalized and slaughtered, should be extremely worried? Everyone else! Well then that’s a landslide right there. The people have spoken, the numbers are in, and just like everyone else that faces McIntyre, “You’re screwed!”

But as McIntyre gets up on the apron, Ryder and Hawkins knock him off it! And take the fight to him! But McIntyre RAMS Ryder into barriers, and trips Hawkins on the apron! McIntyre runs Ryder over then goes after Hawkins int he ring. McIntyre wants this match to being, it does, and he SUPLEXES Hawkins across the ring! Fans fire up as McIntyre aims from the corner. Hawkins stands, a countdown begins… CLAYMORE! But he doesn’t cover, McIntyre gives Ryder a FUTURE SHOCK! And then kips up to show off that uncanny agility. He stacks the Major Bros and covers, McIntyre wins!

Winner: Drew McIntyre, by pinfall

The Scottish Stud has the ref raise his hand, and he is on a roll! Surely McIntyre is a shoe-in for the Men’s Royal Rumble. Will he run roughshod all over it and carve a path to WrestleMania 36?

 

The first Raw of 2020 will be MASSIVE!

Oklahoma City becomes Suplex City as The Beast, BROCK LESNAR, returns! There will also be a WWE United States Championship rematch between El Idolo and Rey Mysterio! AND there will be a Triple Threat for the Raw Tag Team Championships! The Viking Raiders take on both the OC and the Street Profits to truly prove who is the best tag team on Raw!

 

Randy Orton is here!

However, he isn’t doing so well after a knee injury suffered during a show in Hershey, Pennsylvania, just last night on December 29th. He walks out with crutches and makes his way down to the ring so that he may address what happened. However, he does need some help getting in because of the injured leg. Orton stands and fans cheer in support of him toughing it out to be here tonight. Orton has a mic as fans chant his name. “There’s a saying in this business, ‘It ain’t that leg.'” Accidents, injuries, they happen all the time. Everyone in the locker room knows of the fact that anything can happen. “It kills me that I needed help to get into the ring tonight in front of you.” Fans continue to cheer their support as Orton tries to find the words.

Orton says that he’s seen champions that have surrendered titles because of injuries. He doesn’t respect many people, but he does respect Edge. Edge had to surrender an entire career because of injury. No one wants to see that happen to anyone. Orton doesn’t want to ramble, but long story short, he landed funny, something popped, knew it was bad but didn’t know how bad until this morning’s evaluations. Fans again cheer their support as Orton says that he’ll be out a long time. The part that hurts the most is that he might not be able to come back. Fans boo and chant “NO! NO!”, they don’t want him to think that way. But Orton says he will do whatever he has to for someone to get RKO’d at Mania. That is his promise to the fans.

But here comes AJ Styles! The Phenomenal One wants a timeout. “You mean to tell me that the next time I get to fight you in that ring is WrestleMania?” Maybe. Is that what’s going on? Styles gets in the ring with Orton and Orton says this isn’t the time. Styles says this IS the time. Is Orton mad? Of course he’s mad. But what is Orton going to do? Is he going to strike? Orton keeps his cool as Styles taunts him. Styles says this is the time to do something he hasn’t done since he was five. “I’m not touching you! I’m not touching you!” Oh, he did touch him. How bad is that knee? Orton warns Styles not to push him but Styles says Orton’s gonna stand there and take it. Styles knows ORton was never the helpless kid being picked on at school, but he is now. “Isn’t it funny how fate bit Randy Orton before Orton could bite fate?”

Styles says he’s not done, but he wants to do Orton a favor. He’ll give fans what they want. Styles says he’ll put his arms behind his back and let The Viper strike. That’s what fans want, isn’t it? Styles puts one arm back, then the other. And he offers up his neck for the RKO. “C’mon! C’mon, Randy!” Styles even closes his eyes so he won’t see it coming. But Orton doesn’t move, so Styles grins. Orton must really be hurt, huh? Well good thing, because Styles is a patient man. Styles will wait until Mania to finally put that leg in a Calf Crusher and not just make Orton tap, but retire. See you then. Oh and another thing. Styles kicks one of the crutches out! Fans boo but Styles grins.

Fans chant “AJ Sucks!” but Orton tells Styles, there’s a big difference between these two. That difference is that styles is patient, and Orton isn’t. A ONE LEGGED RKO! Because the leg WASN’T that bad after all! The Viper is a snake, but he’s also a genius! It seems things won’t have to wait until WrestleMania, but will Orton regret it in the New Year?

 

WWE shares footage from Thursday’s Madison Square Garden event.

Rey Mysterio lost to Andrade Almas, and now Almas is the NEW WWE United States Champion. Afterward, Mysterio admitted that Almas was the better man. But Mysterio is looking forward to the rematch. As for Seth Rollins and the AOP, no one should count Mysterio out on going after them, either. Mysterio wants Rollins to know that while he didn’t start this, he promises to END it, and standing tall over them. #BOOYAKA619.

 

Andrade Almas w/ Zelina Vega VS ???

El Idolo is El Campeon but needs to prepare for his rematch with Rey Mysterio in the New Year. Will he get a proper warm-up from his opponent tonight?

Raw returns and Almas’ opponent gets a BOOT at the bell! Almas knees and whips then clotheslines the man down! Almas is fired up as he drags his opponent up to whip corner to corner. The opponent elbows back then runs, into a dropkick! Almas glares as he stops his opponent down in a corner. Almas drags his opponent into the corner for more stomps! Vega applauds and Almas fires up. Almas runs corner to corner, CIEN SHADOWS! But Almas doesn’t even try to cover. He drags his opponent up, reels him in and hammerlocks, but Vega wants to add on. Almas throws his opponent out of the ring and Vega pulls up floor mats! The ref reprimands Almas but Almas drags his opponent over to the bare concrete. Almas CHOPS the man then brings him over, but here comes Ricochet!

Ricochet runs and Almas gets back in the ring. Ricochet won’t let this Hartford wrestler suffer the same fate as Humberto Carrillo. Ricochet hops into the ring and tells Almas, “No, no, no!” This isn’t going to go down like that. Almas did that to Carrillo, and then did it to Rey Mysterio! If Almas wants a fight, then fight Ricochet! Fans chant “YES! YES! YES!” but Almas looks reluctant. Raw goes to break as things sort out.

 

Andrade Almas w/ Zelina Vega VS Ricochet!

Raw returns and this match is happening! Will El Idolo get more than he bargained for against the One and Only?

Ricochet throws hands and CHOPS Almas. He whips but Almas reverses, only for Ricochet to roll off the back and trip Almas up. Ricochet slingshots to knee-board senton! Cover, ONE! Ricochet keeps cool as he brings Almas up and into a corner for another CHOP! Ricochet whips corner to corner and then runs in, but Almas puts him on the apron. Ricochet shoulders in but Vega distracts. Almas runs in but Ricochet punches him away. Ricochet springboards, into a dropkick! Almas is on Ricochet in the corner with stomps! The ref counts but Almas lets up at 4, all fired up. Almas and Vega still want to have that bare spot so she again pulls up floor mats. Almas CHOPS Ricochet and then whips him to ropes. Almas runs Ricochet over with an elbow, then stomps him down.

Almas rains down rights and Vega applauds, but fans boo and jeer. Almas grins as he drags Ricochet up and underhooks. Ricochet endures the butterfly stretch, powers his arm free and rolls Almas, TWO! Almas kicks Ricochet down, then praises himself. Almas drags Ricochet up, shimmies the shoulders and suplexes. Ricochet slips out, huricanranas and Almas bails out! Ricochet builds speed to FLY! Fosbury Flop wipes both men out into the barriers! Vega shouts at Almas to get up but it’s Ricochet who stands first! Ricochet puts Almas in and follows, aiming from the apron. Almas rolls out the other end, but Ricochet comes around the corner. Almas rams Ricochet into barriers! Almas refreshes the count and then ram Ricochet into the LED apron!

Almas drags Ricochet to the exposed floor, but Ricochet pops out to ROCK Almas! Ricochet runs at Almas but gets BACK DROPPED onto the concrete! The referee checks but Ricochet refuses to quit here, so Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Almas grinds Ricochet down with a chinlock. Ricochet fights his way up but slowly. Ricochet elbows free but Almas knees low and CHOPS Ricochet back. Almas runs but into the dropkick-flip and enziguri! Ricochet fires up, runs and rallies with forearms! Fireman’s carry but Almas slips out. Almas shoves but Ricochet boots, somersaults and shotgun dropkicks! Fans fire up with Ricochet as he hits the standing shooting star! Cover, TWO! Ricochet and Almas are down, but Ricochet rises first. Ricochet drags Almas away but Vega grabs Almas’ hands. Ricochet stomps Almas’ arms to get him away from Vega. Ricochet wristlocks but Almas slips out of the ripcord. Almas CHOPS, Ricochet CHOPS and rolling elbows! Ricochet runs into an ELBOW! Cover, TWO!! Vega is shocked and Almas is furious but Ricochet survives!

Almas says he is the champion, he is the best! He drags Ricochet up, hammerlocks but Ricochet avoids the leg trip to cradle counter! TWO, and Ricochet ducks the elbow to SUPERKICK! Ricochet suplexes for the Anarchy! Ricochet aims from up top but Vega shoves him down! The ref didn’t see it, Almas hammerlocks, LA SOMBRA! Cover, Almas wins!

Winner: Andrade Almas, by pinfall

La Muneca again helps El Idolo get away with a victory yet again! But if this is what Almas needs to win, will it work against Rey Mysterio?

 

Lana takes pre-wedding pictures.

She of course loves all the attention, and now it’s time for the ceremony itself. Will things go as according to plan to end the year?

 

Backstage interview with Andrade and Zelina.

Given his title defense next week with Rey Mysterio, how confident is he in this rematch? Vega speaks, saying everyone wanted a piece of the new champion already. Ricochet did, and look what happened to him. Humberto Carrillo tried and ended up eating concrete. If Mysterio wants another piece, then he’ll get it when El Idolo beats him again. Almas always said he was the future, and now he is the present. Will Almas keep that championship when he and Mysterio go around one more time?

 

The Most Ravishing Wedding is about to begin!

The flowers, the altar, and a massive cake are in the ring as the presiding priest introduces the groom, Bobby Lashley! Lashley enters but it seems no superstars decided to come, as the seats on stage are empty. Lashley enters the ring and flexes, but fans boo. Now, welcome the Ravishing Bride, Lana! Lana walks out but not to the traditional “Here Comes the Bride” music. Lana takes a moment to let everyone see her as she walks down the ramp, no one to give her away. Lashley helps Lana into the ring, and the couple-to-be stand ready as Raw goes to one last break.

Raw returns once more and the proceedings continue. “We are gathered here on this blessed day,” as Bobby Lashley and Lana are to be wed in holy matrimony. A cause of great celebration, “for married life is a shared life, and a shared life is a life filled with many great blessings.” The priest feels he speaks for everyone when he says that hopefully Lashley and Lana will grow to be better people through this marriage. Fans boo because they don’t wish for that. Hopefully the two of them bless their household with “the pitter-patter of little feet.” Lana doesn’t remember putting that in the speech. She doesn’t want children, at all. She’ll just get fat, have stretch marks, and end up like these wannabe women. These women will NEVER compare to her! Only read what she put in there! Lashley also assures the priest to continue.

The speech continues that marriage is a sacred agreement that must be coveted by both parties. The fans chant for Rusev but Lana shouts them down. “It has been said that when man and woman were originally created, one being was split in two, and we spend our lives searching for our other half.” Lashley, Lana, you two have found that other half and we are all so very happy for you both. Not Hartford. Lashley and Lana have chosen to write their own vows, so it is with those vows that they express their binding promises to love, honor and cherish each other. If they are ready, please face each other and- Lana tells the Rusev fans to shut up! Lashley calms Lana down and she takes her turn with the vows. Lana says this is HER day, it’s all about her! It’s L-A-N-A, Lana Day!

Fans boo but she tells “her Bobby” that this is the luckiest day of his entire life. He is marrying the greatest superstar of all time, and joining her in holy matrimony. No woman will ever compare to Lana. Lana is sorry everyone else is so pathetic but it’s true. Lashley has worked so hard his entire life to be the best at everything. The greatest gift he could ever give himself is Lana. Fans are getting louder with the Rusev Day chants and Lana counters with “Lana Day! Lana Day!” This is HER day. And to finish her vows, the decade is ending, just 25 hours away from the greatest new decade. Lashley has worked his whole life to lead him to the greatest moment in his life right here, marrying her. And she just wants to get through this to make love to him! She jumps right on him to give him a kiss, but a bit out of turn.

Lashley takes his turn with his vows. Lana is so proud of him. It took her forever to write the vows for him, so thank you for reading them. Lashley takes out his notes and reads, “Lana, I really am the luckiest man on the face of this entire planet. Not only because I’m going to marry the most successful female superstar in the history of WWE, but I’m being joined in holy matrimony to a woman that no other woman could compare to.” Lashley has spent- Fans go “WHAT?” and Lana says they should be asking “WHO?” And the answer is LANA! Lashley has spent his entire life to be the best, and Lana is the greatest gift he could ever give himself. The final Raw of the decade, 25 hours away from 2020, and his life has culminated in this: marrying her. Wait these sound just like what Lana said. “Thank you for allowing me to marry you.”

Time to present the rings. The rings that they will place on each other’s fingers as symbols of their love. They will be reminders of the vows they spoke and the love they have for each other. Lashley has his ring and takes her hand. “Lana, with this ring, I thee wed.” As this ring encircles your finger, from this moment forward, Lashley’s love will forever encircle her. Lashley promises to love, cherish and accept her just the way she is. For better or for worse, in sickness or in health- Okay, okay, it’s the usual. Lana wants to skip ahead. Lana’s turn with the ring and she goes on her own version of the vow. Everything is about her and her Bobby. Okay hold on. If there is anyone who has reason why these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace.

“Stop it! Stop it right now!” Who is this man? And why is he objecting? He objects to this “charade” and “sham,” this wedding should not be allowed to continue! This man is LANA’S FIRST HUSBAND! What?! As in, even before Rusev?! Lana married him the day she turned 18! And then she left him for RUSEV. Lana tells this man to get out of here for being obsessed. But this guy feels bad that Rusev got left for Lashley! And Lana will just do it again when someone bigger and better comes along. It’s what Lana does. Lashley won’t stand to hear this, he CHOKE SLAMS the man out of the ring! The priest calms down and continues with the ceremony. If there is anyone who has reason why these to should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace. Hallelujah, no one says anything- Nevermind.

A woman storms out and shouts objection! Lashley seems to know who this is. She’s Lashley’s FIRST WIFE. Lana is upset that she only now just met this person. The former Mrs. Lashley says they met while he was in the military. It was a beautiful relationship, but then Lana DECKS her! Well, uh, third time’s the charm? If there is anyone who has reason why these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace. Nothing? Wait! Another woman objects. Is that… LIV MORGAN!? She apologizes but she can’t let this continue. The love of her life is right there in the ring. If it wasn’t for their love, she couldn’t have made it through the year. She was a wild child hoping her dream would come true. Liv never knew that she could be herself and fell in love with… How could you do this to Liv?

Lashley has never touched Liv ONCE! Well no, sorry, it wasn’t Lashley. Liv meant LANA! DRAMA BOMB! Lana is in tears as Liv begs her. Lana SLAPS and attacks Liv! She throws flowers on her and now it’s a cat fight! Lashley isn’t sure what to do with this, but referees hurry to separate them. Security come out to help, and finally Lashley helps pull Lana away from Liv. Liv shrieks, vowing revenge, but Lana says this is going to END. Man and woman, by the power vested in this man- the CAKE OPENS!! Rusev tackles Lashley!! And then throws him into the posts! And into the altar! “Hello, wife!” Rusev grins at Lana before dragging Lashley up for more haymakers! And a LARIAT! Rusev rains down rights and then smashes flower pots on Lashley!

Lana is freaking out, so she jumps on Rusev. Rusev shakes her off to MACHKA KICK Lashley! Liv returns to SMASH Lana into the cake!! Rusev and Liv stand tall over the toxic Lashley and Lana, but Lana throws cake back at Rusev! So Liv throws her back into the cake! So much for a New Year’s Wedding! Will 2020 only get crazier from here?

 


 

My Thoughts:

Well, I’ll say this: this Raw will be one to remember from this year and even decade. Everything before the wedding was great, but the wedding itself was about as cringe worthy as everything else in this Rusev-Lana-Lashley story. Anyone who made a “Worst of” list, you might need to reconsider it now that this has happened. Lana making Lashley’s vows a copy-n-paste of hers was really bad. While it makes sense that Lana would want it to be all about her, she could at least come up with something different for him to say that praises her. Also I’m a little disappointed in the Lashley character that he’s being led around by her. He should be upset that she’s belittling everything else he’s done in his life to say that marrying her is the best thing. But oh well, it seems Lashley is really hooked on the Ravishing Russian like a drug.

The “Jerry! Jerry!” dysfunction was so bad it was hilarious, and then Liv’s surprise debut is really… something. Liv’s promo from tonight mentioned about striking at the opportune time, but I don’t want to presume anything. Was Liv just saying that stuff to get revenge at Lana? Or is this really how WWE (i.e. Vince) is going to do an LGBT storyline? I feel like going with mind-games would keep progressive fans from being upset from having to wade through a layer of cringe. Though one way or another, this shows us that the blow-off will be a mixed tag match, probably at the Royal Rumble.

The Rollins story is going good places. Rollins continues to see himself as the hero, which makes for a good villain. Obviously Samoa Joe helps Kevin Owens fight Rollins & The AOP, but as Mysterio says in his promo, don’t count him out of this story. The Six Man Tag we’ll likely see before the Royal Rumble will be Rollins & The AOP VS Joe, Kevin and Mysterio. I’m betting Rollins & The AOP win by cheating but retribution comes at the Rumble itself. Next week’s episode will be amazing, too, with Lesnar being around to start a Rumble story, Mysterio VS Almas, and then a Triple Threat for the Raw Tag titles. Profits VS Good Brothers was great, and it was amazing to see Profits win. They also had a hilarious “multiverse” promo. But in a Triple Threat, I don’t see the Profits winning the titles. It either stays with the Viking Raiders or goes to The OC.

Aleister VS Murphy was AMAZING, not enough can be said about it. Rowan wrecks another jobber but meh. His confronting Lana was way more interesting. Charlotte’s open challenge to face Natalya was a great match. Not sure why this was when the 24/7 Championship showed up, and I’m disappointed Natalya and Charlotte didn’t end up part of it just by accident. Truth could’ve tripped on Natty and Natty pins him to win, and then Charlotte wins it off Natty to then give it back to Truth. That aside, Charlotte is certainly the favorite to win the Women’s Rumble, but who knows if she’ll actually win now. Becky VS Asuka is made official, that match will be amazing. I even like that Becky threw in kayfabe contract talk to give good motivation from the administration side of things. There’s still a strong chance Becky wins to solidify her reign as champion, but as I said before, WWE needs to build up the rest of the roster to give her more worthy challengers.

McIntyre is really good. He dominates Ryder and Hawkins again and just does great on the mic. Why can’t he face Lesnar and take that title at Rumble? Orton’s “injury” from Hershey was sold really well, I almost started to think it was legit. But then Orton uses that to sucker Styles in for an RKO and it was actually pretty brilliant. I’m not entirely sure how this wraps up. Mania was mentioned but I don’t know if this can be stretched out that long. Almas VS Ricochet was set up rather well with Almas wanting to destroy a jobber, and the match itself was great. Naturally, Almas wins and with Vega’s help, and as I said, Almas VS Mysterio is going to be great. With the wedding being the last segment, Almas and Ricochet can at least say they were the last main event match of Raw in 2019 and the decade. Almas will surely hold onto the title even against Mysterio, so that will be a great honor and will help him have a great 2020 to start.

My Score: 8/10


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