Will Roman Reigns be humiliated by The King’s Court?
Baron Corbin has sunk to rather sophomoric attempts at mocking The Big Dog, but promises something even bigger. What does he have prepared? Will Roman find a way around it and Dolph Ziggler tonight?
- Mandy Rose w/ Sonya Deville VS Alexa Bliss w/ Nikki Cross; Bliss wins.
- SmackDown Tag Team Championships #1 Contenders Elimination Fatal 4 Way: The Revival VS Heavy Machinery VS Lucha House Party VS Mustafa Ali & Chad Gable; The Revival wins and will challenge the New Day for the titles at TLC.
- Lacey Evans VS Haley Jones; Evans wins.
- Roman Reigns VS Dolph Ziggler; Reigns wins.
PLAY BY PLAY
What happened to Daniel Bryan!?
Bray Wyatt offered him another chance at the WWE Universal Championship. The Miz tried to talk reason into Bryan. But in the end, it was Bryan who made the decision to say “YES! YES! YES!” And perhaps now, he regrets that decision. The Fiend attacked from below and dragged Daniel down into the darkness! And handful by handful, it would appear The Fiend ripped the hair from Bryan’s head! What is the fate of the face of the Yes Movement?
SmackDown opens with Miz TV!
The Hollywood A-Lister heads to the ring and takes up a mic. Miz was to have Bryan as his guest tonight, but after the “horrific events” of last week, that is not possible. We have not heard from Bryan in the seven days since. Miz has known Bryan since first coming to the WWE, and they are not friends in the slightest. Yet Miz knows the most about Bryan, and how much he means to both the company and the fans. For the first time in a long time, we saw the real Bryan return in the rebirth of the Yes Movement. But the Fiend has yanked that away from us. Miz has never liked Bryan, that’s obvious. But Miz does care about Bryan. Miz vows to get to the bottom of this, and to find out what happened to Bryan!
Firefly Fun House interrupts Miz TV!
Bray hangs a portrait of Bryan and says hi! Yowie wowie, Miz is putting on his big boy pants and thinking cap for this mystery, huh? But trust Bray when he says Miz doesn’t want to know what happened. Bryan could be with… “him.” And he may not be done with Bryan yet. All Bray knows is that Bryan was going to play at TLC, but now he might not. Aww… But hey! Since Miz is going snooping, maybe he can come play instead? Yay~! This ins’t about The MIz, this is about Bryan. Miz isn’t going to play games. But Bray heard Miz say “family.” That’s the secret word of the day! Get out while you still can! Quiet, stupid rabbit.
Oh, but family IS word of the day! F-A-M-I-L-Y! Bray used to have a family. But Miz has inspired Bray to join a new family! If you believe it, you can achieve it! Look, it’s the Mizanin Family! Miz, Maryse and their darling baby girls. Does Miz want to play now? Bray laughs but Miz is in no mood! Time to say good-bye! Miz storms to the back, but will he find Bray before it’s too late?
Miz is on the phone with Maryse.
Bray is playing mind games, but they’re taking him seriously. The doors are locked, and Miz says he’ll be right home. Miz hurries, but is there still time?
Mandy Rose w/ Sonya Deville VS Alexa Bliss w/ Nikki Cross!
Fire & Desire want to establish themselves as the best tag team in the Women’s Division, for more than just their in-ring skills. But the Goddess is back and here to show Mandy that looks only get you so far. Who gains a step towards the WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships through singles competition?
The bell rings and Mandy circles with Alexa. They tie up, Alexa gets Mandy down but Mandy arm-drags her off. Mandy doesn’t like her face being touched, and then she waistlocks Alexa. Alexa elbows out, drop toeholds and Mandy bails out. Fans cheer as Alexa runs, but her slide misses, Knee from a Rose! Mandy and Sonya soak up the heat as Mandy stands over Alexa. Mandy bumps Alexa off the apron a couple times then puts Alexa in the ring. Cover, TWO, and Mandy is upset. Mandy goes after the arm and grinds Alexa’s face with forearms. The ref reprimands but Mandy stops to pull off Alexa’s fake eyelashes! Fans rally but Mandy stands over her. But Alexa fights back with body shots! Mandy ROCKS Alexa then whips, then dropkicks her down!
Alexa flounders but Mandy boots her down! Cover, but Mandy is too close to the ropes herself. Mandy is upset with the ref but she underhooks Alexa. Alexa fights out of the lift, dodges the knee and rolls Mandy, TWO! Mandy knees low, and pie faces Alexa around. “You will NEVER look like me!” Alexa gets mad and choke grips Mandy for the standing STO! Then SLAPS and DECKS her! Basement dropkick knocks Mandy back down, and Alexa skateboard stomps away! Alexa lets up at 4 and fans are fired up. Knee drops, Insult but Sonya distracts. Nikki CROSSBODIES! Mandy rolls Alexa up, TWO! Alexa gets around, crucifix DDT! Alexa puts Mandy in the drop zone and climbs up top. Fans fire up as Alexa leaps, TWISTED BLISS! Cover, Bliss wins!
Winner: Alexa Bliss, by pinfall
The Goddess wins and it was so, so pretty! But will it only get ugly when these two teams meet 2v2?
Dana Brooke visits catering.
But Drake Maverick is right behind her. Drake heard about Dana asking out Dave Batista. Yes, she is really excited about it. Well Drake is excited, too, but he feels a bit rejected. Rejected? Didn’t they have something last week? What? What does Batista have that Drake doesn’t? Well… Before Dana answers, in comes Elias. When words fail us, a song provides the answer. Everyone claps along as Elias plays.
“Batista’s a millionaire, plus he’s tall. Drake, you’ve got a better chance at getting lucky, with a blowup doll.” Marriage problems? Got issues? The only action Drake gets is with lotion and tissues. “You’re the best I ever had,” is what Mrs. Maverick said. That is, when she was waking up in Elias’s bed. Maverick SLAPS Elias, then leaves. Dana asks about that thing with Mrs. Maverick. That didn’t happen, but something’s about to. Elias may have struck a chord with Maverick, but will Maverick regret striking him?
SmackDown returns to Drake Maverick in the ring.
So everyone thinks this is funny? They all think Elias is funny? Maverick’s life is a joke, huh!? Elias apparently thinks it’s funny. “YES! YES! YES!” Maverick says no one makes a mockery out of him, his marriage, or his wife! He calls Elias out not for a match, but for a FIGHT! Elias does walk out, with Dana Brooke by his side. Elias gets in the ring with Maverick, and the fight is on! Well, it would be if Maverick could reach Elias being stiff-armed away. Elias lets Maverick fall to the mat, then dodges his return. Dana giggles as Elias easily lifts Maverick and drop him again. Elias bends Maverick over his knee for a SPANKING! Maverick is stinging in more ways than one, but Elias is lining up a shot. Elias goes for the kick, and it’s GOOD! Maverick is literally kicked out of the ring!
Maverick starts running away but ends up back in the ring. Elias chases him out of the ring, but Dana puts Maverick back in! Elias gets Maverick with the DRIFT AWAY! Elias even offers Dana a shot. She stands on Maverick for the “pin,” and Dana “wins”! Maverick may not be a joke, but he is a loser. Will Maverick learn his lesson?
The Miz hurries through the halls.
But there’s a room glowing red… Miz barges in, hoping to find Bray. But instead, he finds a picture of BRAY holding Monroe Sky. “Say Cheese.” IT’S BRAY! He gets Miz with a Sister Abigail!! Bray sings “There’s No Place like Home for the Holidays,” and leaves Miz with the picture.
SmackDown returns as Miz comes to.
Where did Bray go? Where’s the photo? The referee says they’ll get a medic first to make sure Miz is okay. But will anyone be okay with Bray Wyatt lurking around?
SmackDown shares Tribute to the Troops social media posts.
Kofi Kingston tweeted out that “every year, we are blessed with the opportunity to participate” in this event. Kofi always looks forward to this day, because it is a “chance to meet and shake the hands of the men and women who are willing to risk their lives so that we may have our freedom.” Natalya is “blown away” that it’s been 17 years already, and Lacey Evans being former military, she was excited to start her day with “HITT training with the Marines.” Montez Ford thanks ALL of the US Marines, and Dana shares her respect and gratitude to the soldiers. Roman Reigns says events like Tribute to the Troops reminds us how lucky we are to be protected by such heroes.
Awwwww~ North Carolina~!
Don’t you dare be sour! Clap for the 7-Time champs and feel~ the power~! The New Day are here, flinging flapjacks right at Corey Graves. They join commentary because of the HUGE tag team contender’s match up next!
SmackDown Tag Team Championships #1 Contenders Elimination Fatal 4 Way: The Revival VS Heavy Machinery VS Lucha House Party VS Mustafa Ali & Chad Gable!
Eight men have a huge opportunity to face Kofi Kingston and Big E in nine days! Will it be the #TopGuys, #BlueCollarSolid, #FightingFiesta or the Beacon and the underdog?
The teams sort out, and only two can start. “Shorty G” and Gran Metalik start, mostly because Dash & Dawson are talkign trash to the New Day. Gable ties up and trips up Metalik to get a facelock and roll. Metalik gets up, wrenches out, but Gable rolls, bridges and handsprings. Gable spins to get a headlock, spin to a drop toehold, then get the armlock! Fans cheer as Gable drags Metalik up and over, tag to Ali. Ali climbs and stomps the arm! Ali drags Metalik up for an arm wrench, but Metalik reverses back. Ali rolls, handsprings, headlocks but Metalik powers out. Things speed up and Ali shows off his agility! Metalik runs in, handsprings over Ali’s kick, and then arm-drags Ali down! Ali arm-drags back, trips but Metalik kicks him away. Metalik runs in, Ali goes up and over then runs to huricarnana, only for Metalik to handspring through! Even Big E is going to give that a standing ovation!
Ali and Metalik circle, but Tucker and Lince Dorado tag in. Dorado and Tucker speed up, but Tucker runs Dorado over. Tucker shows his own agility and then dropkicks cancel out! Tucker and Dorado high-five, but then The Revival run in! Tucker and Dorado knock them down, and dropkick them out! Dorado swings into an atomic lift, Tucker uses Dorado to knock Ali and Gable down!Tucker then does the same against the Revival, before back suplexing Dorado. But Dorado lands on his feet, dodges the clothesline and handsprings, Golden Rewind! But Otis tags in! Dorado dodges and dropkicks Otis out! Lucha House Party coordinate and DOUBLE ASAI onto the Revival, Ali and Shorty G! Those six are down and Kalisto is fired up with his tassels!
LHP put Otis back in but Dawson gets Dorado with a suplex! Metalik mule kicks Dawson, then springboards, but into Otis’s arms! Tag to Tucker, COMPACTOR! Cover, they ELIMINATE Lucha House Party! Kalisto is upset but there’s nothing he can do about it. SmackDown goes to break as the other three teams regroup.
SmackDown returns as Gable drops knees on Tucker’s arm. Gable clamps onto the arm and the Revival taunt Tucker about what happened to Otis. They, of course, were the ones to take him out. Tucker endures, scoops Gable and slams Gable down! Dash tags in off Gable and stalks Tucker, to then sucker punch Ali! Dash trips Tucker but Tucker pushes him back into buckles! Gable tags back in, but runs into a hip toss! Dawson tags in off Gable, and runs at Tucker for a back drop! And Otis rises! The New Day like this! Otis tags in and rallies on Dawson with big belly bumps! Spin cycle scoop slam! The shirt comes off! Otis runs into a boot, but feeds off it! Tucker kicks more but Otis just jiggles and shakes. Dawson CHOPS, but Otis PUMPS! Otis gets Dawson for an EXPLODER!
Dawson is in the corner, Otis corner splashes! Dash tags in but gets clubbed out. Dawson is in the drop zone, fans fire up, and Otis gets it moving! CATERPILLAR ELBOW! But Dash sunset flips, Dawson kicks, the cover, The Revival ELIMINATE Heavy Machinery! Now it’s just Dash & Dawson against Ali & Shorty G! Ali and Gable regroup, but they don’t back down. Dash and Dawson talk it out, to sucker punch! But the brawl is on! Gable gets Dawson out, Ali gets Dash out. Gable and Ali are in pursuit, but then get suckered in for kicks, and a CHOP! Dawson and Dash talk trash again, but the New Day tell them to mind their business. The Revival bring Ali and Gable up, but Gable and Ali throw them onto the New Day! Now the New Day is upset with everyone! The referee hurries to restore order as SmackDown goes to break!
SmackDown returns and Gable endures a Gory Especial a la Dawson. Dawson taunts Ali as he bends Gable, but fans rally up for “Shorty! Shorty!” Gable sunset flips, TWO! Back suplex drops Dawson! Both Gable and Dawson crawl, Dash tags in and intercepts. But Gable gets around Dash, Dash ends up latching onto Dawson, Gable DOUBLE GERMAN SUPLEXES The Revival!! And holds onto Dash! Ali tags in, Gable German Suplexes again! Ali SUPERKICKS for the third! Jackknife cover, Dawson breaks it! Gable runs in and crossbodies himself and Dawson out! Dash runs in but Ali slips out to ROUNDHOUSE! Ali somersaults into a LARIAT! Ali flounders, but he elbows Dash away. Ali hosp up, leaps, POWERSLAM! Cover, TWO!!
Dash sits up but the fans rally up for Ali. Dash drags Ali up, suplexes but Ali slips out. Ali O’Conner rolls, TWO! Ali is up, TORNADO DDT! Dash is in the drop zone, Ali goes up top! But Dawson saves Dash, so Ali bails out. Gable tags in before Ali DIVES! But the Revival catch Ali, to TOSS him into the timekeeper’s area! But Gable CANNONBALLS them both down! Gable puts Dash in, climbs up top, MOONSAULT, but he catches the boots for an ANKLE LOCK! Dash flails, reaches, gets up and rolls, Gable goes into Dawson’s uppercut! Tag and SHATTER MACHINE!! Cover, The Revival wins!
Winners: The Revival, by pinfall; NEW #1 Contenders to the SmackDown Tag Team Championships
The New Day will once again meet The Revival for these titles, but promise to “molly whop” all over again! Will Kofi and Big E hold on to lucky number 7? But Dash and Dawson have mics to say “the fun and games are over!” This is how they make their living, they take this very seriously. No more pancakes, unicorns or silly little gimmicks. And no more disgracing the tag team titles! Dash wants the New Day to listen. No more new day, but the old days! The fundamentals will be what beat them! But the good news is, after TLC, Kofi, Big E and Xavier Woods can be on their podcast to tell the world what it’s like to be beat by the absolute best in this company!! Will Dash & Dawson truly be SmackDown’s #TopGuys once again?
Backstage interview with Roman Reigns.
Roman looks to do what he’s always done. If The King’s Court can’t handle the #BigFight, that’s on them. Naturally, Dolph Ziggler will have Baron Corbin in his corner, who vow to humiliate Roman. The only thing humiliating is that Corbin and his guys can’t get the job done. Why does Corbin need those guys? He’s bigger and stronger, but it’s because Roman is a dog in the ring, that’s why Corbin can’t handle him. And it will be Corbin embarrassed at TLC in a TLC match. But will Corbin and his cronies find a way to keep Roman from making it to TLC?
“They say you can’t go home again. they say you won’t like what you find.” That is true. Because SmackDOwn has become weak and lazy. The titans that Sheamus used to face are just “pale shadows of their former selves.” In Sheamus’s absence, they weren’t facing real competition. But perhaps that saying is false, because the Celtic Warrior has come home, ready to ravage whoever gets in his way.
Lacey Evans VS Haley Jones!
The Sassy Southern Belle stood up to the whining and complaining of the SmackDown Women’s Champion and The Boss. Will Lacey prove herself a worthy contender to the title?
The bell rings, Lacey ties up with Haley and arm-drags her away. Lacey arm-drags again and has Haley down in an armlock. Haley endures, works her way up, and pulls on Lacey’s hair. Lacey throws Haley down first, then charges at her in the corner. The ref backs Lacey off, Haley returns, and they tie up again. Lacey powers Haley to the corner, lets up at 4, but Haley kicks low. Haley throws clubbing forearms then whips, but Lacey reverses to the WOMAN’S RIGHT! Cover, Lacey wins!
Winner: Lacey Evans, by pinfall
And the Lady of SmackDown barely broke a sweat. But here comes The Boss! Sasha Banks is still stinging from the Woman’s Right she suffered last week, but has a mic to respond. “OH, did you think you were going to leave, Lacey? Leave your little country butt in there, because we have some business we need to take care of.” SmackDown goes to break, but will we return to a brawl between Boss and Lady?
SmackDown returns as Sasha is on the apron.
“Look at you.” Lacey thinks she’s real funny, just because she got lucky with that punch. Sasha is here to remind Lacey who she is dealing with. She is the Blueprint, the Legit Boss, and the leader of this Women’s Division! As for Lacey, she’s a “Mary Poppins wannabe!” Sasha warns Lacey not to mess with her or Bayley ever! “Just because you’re a terrible role model to your bratty little six your old doesn’t mean you can come out here and interrupt me!” But Lacey warns Sasha to never say anything about her daughter again. And between being a mother and a US Marine, Sasha doesn’t want Lacey to put her boots back on.
As for why she did what she did, she was sick and tired of the “nasties” blaming others for their failures. Fans cheer “Nasties! Nasties!” Lacey says that all the things the Marine Corps instilled in her, leadership is one! To hear Bayley and Sasha to act like leaders, if that ain’t pathetic, then what is? The Marines also taught Lacey how to fight. So run your mouth and get dropped again! Sasha gets in the ring, and she gets in Lacey’s face. Lacey gets ready to hit her, and Sasha drops on her own! Lacey smirks as she saunters out of the ring. Will Sasha regret riling up the Sassy Southern Belle? But then Bayley blindsides Lacey from the ramp! Sasha runs up to boot Lacey down! The Boss & Smug Connection stand tall as fans boo, but will they continue to run roughshod over SmackDown?
Given the provocation and attack by Bray Wyatt against The Miz, they will have a match at TLC! It will be non-title, but The Miz could get revenge while earning a title shot on the Universal Champion all at once!
WWE Tribute to the Troops 2019 was in Jacksonville, North Carolina!
Superstars were again honored to give back to those who give so much of their time and energy to protect us all. The men and women of the armed forces were also excited to meet the superstars they love to watch in the ring and on television. Happy Holidays to the men and women fighting for our freedoms.
Roman Reigns VS Dolph Ziggler!
The Big Dog says he’s ready for whatever the Lone Wolf King and his court (jesters) are bringing. Can Roman win a match with the Show-Off before Corbin’s plan springs into action?
The bell rings and Roman circles with Ziggler. They approach but Roman corners Ziggler. Ziggler uses the ropes as defense and Roman backs off. Ziggler and Roman circle again, they tie up and Ziggler gets a leg. Roman blocks a takedown and they end up on the ropes. Ziggler lets go but kicks the leg out! Roman hobbles and Ziggler keeps after him. Ziggler turns Roman around, neckbreaker! Cover, TWO! Ziggler scrapes his boot on Roman’s face, then taunts him. Ziggler claws Roman’s eyes but lets up at 4 to clamp on an armlock and chinbar. Roman endures the combination of holds and fans rally up. Roman fights his way up but Ziggler throws him down by his hair! Ziggler waits for Roman to get up in the corner, and runs in, to get an UPPERCUT!
Roman catches his breath as Ziggler is on the outside. Roman goes out to come around the way, but no Drive-By as Ziggler sends Roman into steel steps! Roman is down and SmackDown goes to break!
SmackDown returns and Ziggler grinds Roman down with a modified Fujiwara armbar. But Roman rolls Ziggler up, TWO! Ziggler’s dropkick drops Roman! Cover, TWO! Ziggler taunts Roman as fans cheer for him. Ziggler also toys with Roman, but Roman gets up. Roman UPPERCUTS Ziggler away! And another! But Ziggler yanks Roman into buckles! Ziggler catches his breath while the ref checks on Roman’s nose. There’s no blood, but Roman gets out of the ring. Ziggler goes out and around to throw Roman into barriers! “This is a lesson!” Ziggler grinds Roman into the barriers then puts him in the ring. Cover, TWO! Ziggler grows annoyed with Roman but he wraps on a new sleeper hold. Ziggler traps an arm, but fans still rally up.
Roman endures, gasps for air, but Ziggler leans on Roman and grinds him down. Roman is fading, Ziggler shouts for him to give up. But Roman finds a second wind and fights his way back up! Roman is up and pries at the hold, but Ziggler kicks low and turns Roman. Roman shoves, and rallies with clotheslines! Roman whips, Ziggler reveres, Roman misses the leaping lariat but clotheslines Ziggler out! Fans fire up as Roman goes out to go around and LEAPING- SUPERKICK! Roman gets kicked out of the sky! And NOW Baron Corbin makes his presence known on his sedan. The King of the Ring makes his entrance while SmackDown goes to one more break.
SmackDown returns once again and Roman has Ziggler in his sights! Roman misses the super punch but blocks the superkick. Ziggler dodges the uppercut and hits the satellite DDT! Cover, TWO! Corbin watches from atop his sedan and is not liking what he sees. Ziggler and Roman stir but Ziggler is up first. Ziggler wants Roman to rise and fans rally, too. Roman gets up slowly, Ziggler shouts at him, but the Zigzag is denied! Ziggler leaps over the spear to sunset flip, TWO!! SUPERMAN PUNCH! Cover, TWO!! Corbin was worried and now he’s upset. Roman and Ziggler rise as fans rally up again. Roman stares Corbin down before letting out the battle cry! But Ziggler kicks the spear away to ram Roman into a post, and ZIGZAG! Cover, TWO!!
Corbin jumps down off his high horse and heads closer. Corbin shouts at the ref and gets on the apron. The referee and Corbin argue, and the referee tells Corbin to get off the apron. Corbin shouts more, Roman SUPERMAN PUNCHES him down! But Ziggler rolls Roman up, TWO!! SPEAR OUTTA NOWHERE!! Cover, Roman wins!!
Winner: Roman Reigns, by pinfall
So who got humiliated tonight? Because it doesn’t look like it’s Roman. The King is helped to his feet, but Roman comes around the way, to DRIVE-BY DROPKICK them all! But then the rest of Corbin’s “royal guard” attack! Roman UPPERCUTS his way back! And BOOTS! But Corbin gets in to CLOBBER and stomp Roman down! Corbin throws Roman out of the ring and into a post! Roman punches Corbin away but someone grabs at Roman’s feet! This slows him down, but Roman still fights the guards. Corbin rams Roman into a post, but Roman throws Corbin over the desk!
Roman clears the desk off as Corbin staggers to his feet. Roman brings Corbin in, but Ziggler SUPERKICKS Roman down! Ziggler moves things aside so that he can bring out a handcuff, with a long chain! The guards go after Roman again, and so does Corbin! Corbin and his court cuff Roman to the post! Corbin throws body shot after body shot! Someone even strapped Roman’s feet to the post from below! Ziggler gets his shots in, and headbutts over and over! Corbin laughs in Roman’s face before throwing more body shots. Ziggler brings out cans… of dog food?! “You want to be a good dog?! You’re going to eat like one!” They pour out the dog food on Roman’s head! Fans boo as can after can is dumped out and smeared into Roman’s face and hair. Roman can’t do anything, and Corbin SMASHES him with the butt of the scepter!
Corbin seems to think he’s made Roman the butt of his jokes, but TLC’s TLC match is still coming. Will Roman use tables, ladders and chairs to wipe the smile of Corbin’s face?
I need to preface this part of the article by bringing up the technical difficulties I had watching tonight’s SmackDown. KFox14 in the El Paso and Las Cruces area does NOT show SmackDown at 8 PM Eastern when it’s actually happening, and usually Fox’s online streaming works. But tonight, the streaming didn’t work, and I had to wait an hour to even start SmackDown, after a lot of news had already broken. Most things that happened tonight, while still really good, had less impact on me for that reason. But without going on an endless rant of why I despise living in El Paso, I will focus on how SmackDown was still really good tonight.
As with the previous weeks, it is great that The Miz is interwoven into the story of Daniel Bryan and Bray Wyatt. It seems we’re taking a detour from Fiend VS Bryan II, which is also fine. Bray immediately made things personal with Miz, and showed up as Bray, not The Fiend. I wonder if Miz will be facing Firefly Fun House Bray since it is a non-title and non-stipulation match. I also imagine Bryan returns at TLC to go after Bray, and that leads us to their rematch being at the Royal Rumble, where The Fiend will return again. Elias returns to action but not in a match, humiliating Drake Maverick for being a bit of a sleaze. I guess this counts as a double turn from their quick feud over the 24/7 Championship.
Bliss had a decent match with Mandy Rose, I expected a bit more out of this, but I suppose this is just get things going on this feud. With nothing made for the WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions, I would hope we get that done quickly, too. Bliss-Cross VS Fire & Desire in a tag match to have a match at TLC would make some sense, as both Raw and SmackDown should be appointing contenders on a regular basis as far as I’m concerned. Lacey keeps her Face turn steadily moving, though I was a bit disappointed she needed a squash match to get her out there. I’m thinking SmackDown suddenly has a Heel problem in the Women’s Division, because there was no one else but a local enhancement talent to go after. But the Heels, Bayley and Banks, get their payback, things are going as per usual. Maybe Lacey has a match with Sasha, and if she wins, she goes to face Bayley at the Rumble for the title.
That SmackDown Tag Team Contender’s match was great! Elimination style really allows all the teams to have something to do, but of course, The Revival being the Heels in that match with Face champions in The New Day, of course they win. SmackDown really should try and break that cycle. A match of New Day VS Ali & Shorty G would’ve been a lot of fun because they’re all such great athletes. I almost expected all that talk of going old school was going to lead to the match stipulation, but guess not. This TLC build has really suffered from everything else before it, so I hope the go-homes give us all the other matches quickly.
And speaking of, learning hours before SmackDown that Roman VS Corbin was going to be THE TLC match was GARBAGE. Vince McMahon doesn’t even seem to understand his own booking! Roman beats Ziggler in a really good match, but then gets chained and smeared with dog food. What part of that doesn’t say Dog Collar Match? Or some kind of match where Corbin and Roman are bound together! Hell, last week, the attempted head smashing on a chair should’ve screamed Chair Match! But at the same time, this detour from Universal Championship match left the TLC stipulation open. Vince obviously thinks Corbin is a big deal so the big deal gets the big match type. And that’s just sad.
My Score: 8.2/10
Mitchell’s NJPW G1 Climax 32 Results & Report! (8/13/22)
Breathe with the Switchblade!
Will the IWGP World Heavyweight Champion keep the “Jay1” going?
The biggest G1 Climax in NJPW continues on and Jay White is spotless at 4-0! But will Taichi change all that this close to the ending?
- 8 Man Tag: Hiroshi Tanahashi, David Finlay, Tama Tonga & Jado VS Bullet Club; Bullet Club wins.
- Bad Dude Tito & JONAH VS Tom Lawlor & Royce Isaacs; Tito & Jonah win.
- Six Man Tag: Los Ingobernables de Japon VS Suzuki-Gun; LIJ wins.
- Six Man Tag: Chaos VS House of Torture; Chaos wins.
- G1 Climax, C Block: Aaron Henare VS KENTA; Kenta wins.
- G1 Climax, A Block: Toru Yano VS Jeff Cobb; Cobb wins.
- G1 Climax, D Block: Shingo Takagi VS Yujiro Takahashi; Takagi wins.
- G1 Climax, D Block: YOSHI-HASHI VS Will Ospreay; Ospreay wins.
- G1 Climax, B Block: Taichi VS Jay White; White wins.
PLAY BY PLAY
Here are the current standings!
- Kazuchika Okada: 4-1, 8 points
- Lance Archer: 3-2, 6 points
- JONAH: 3-2, 6 points
- Jeff Cobb: 2-2, 4 points
- Bad Luck Fale: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
- Tom Lawlor: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
- Toru Yano: 1-4, 2 points [ELIMINATED]
- Jay White: 4-0, 8 points
- Tama Tonga: 4-1, 8 points
- SANADA: 3-2, 6 points
- Taichi: 2-2, 4 points
- Chase Owens: 2-4, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
- Great-O-Khan: 1-4, 2 points [ELIMINATED]
- Tomohiro Ishii: 1-4, 2 points [ELIMINATED]
- Zack Sabre Jr: 4-1, 8 points
- Hirooki Goto: 3-2, 6 points
- Hiroshi Tanahashi: 3-2, 6 points
- Tetsuya Naito: 3-2, 6 points
- EVIL: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
- KENTA: 1-3, 2 points [ELIMINATED]
- Aaron Henare: 1-4, 2 points [ELIMINATED]
- Yujiro Takahashi: 3-2, 6 points
- David Finlay: 3-2, 6 points
- Shingo Takagi: 2-2, 4 points
- Will Ospreay: 2-2, 4 points
- YOSHI-HASHI: 2-2, 4 points
- El Phantasmo: 2-3, 4 points
- Juice Robinson: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
G1 Climax, C Block: Aaron Henare VS KENTA!
The Ultimate Weapon and the Fang Revived are both out of the running, but this is about pride! Will Henare conquer Kenta? Or will he #GoToSleep instead?
The bell rings and fans rally up as the two circle. Kenta gives testing kicks, as does Henare. They keep testing each other, but neither man gets a clean shot. Kenta tries a palm strike but Henare ducks it to give some kicks. Kenta tries kicks but avoids the roundhouse, and fans applaud this great kickboxing exchange. Henare moves to using hands and he gets some body shots in! Kenta bails out and fans applaud Henare bringing the fight. Kenta takes his time returning, and he circles with Henare again. Henare anticipates a kick but Kenta rakes the eyes! The ref reprimands, Kenta fires off haymakers and puts Henare in a corner!
The ref counts, Kenta knees low as he lets off, and runs in, but into an elbow! Henare goes up to FLYING CHUCK! Fans fire up and Kenta staggers up, but he avoids the heel kick! Kenta bails out again and fans applaud. Henare goes out after Kenta and CLUBS him down! And again! Henare HEADBUTTS Kenta, then KICKS him against the post! And again! Henare fires up but Kenta ducks, the kick hits POST! Kenta kicks that leg then POSTS Henare’s shoulder! Kenta hurries to wrench and ELBOW BREAKER that arm, then he kicks the bad leg! Then another ELBOW BREAKER, and another kick to the bad leg!
Henare falls over and the ref reprimands but Kenta KICKS Henare in the leg again. Kenta hammerlocks Henare and RAMS him into railing! Fans cheer the savagery while Kenta stomps the leg. Kenta puts the leg in the railing and stomps it more! The ref reprimands and backs Kenta off, so Kenta drags Henare up and into the ring. Cover, TWO! Kenta is annoyed but fans rally up and Kenta gets Henare’s bad leg. Kenta has the standing toehold but Henare endures. Kenta drops an elbow on the leg and has a seated toehold. Henare tries to fight the hold but he reaches out for the ROPEBREAK instead.
The ref counts, Kenta lets off slowly, and he stomps the bad leg. Kenta drags Henare up, but Henare throws body shots! Kenta kicks Henare low, then stomps him on the back. Henare wrenches the arm to ELBOW BREAKER again! Kenta is just picking apart that whole left side! Kenta joins the fans in clapping, and gets them to stop clapping all at once. Kenta stomps Henare down, drags him up and fires off haymakers! Henare just snarls through them! Kenta KICKS but Henare snarls. Kenta CLUBS Henare but fans rally up as Henare stands. Henare roars but Kenta kicks the bad leg! Kenta runs, but into a KICK!
Henare falls over because the left leg is a weak base right now, but he growls and gets back up. Henare gets that bad leg moving, KICKS Kenta’s own left leg, and KICKS away in the corner! The ref counts, Henare lets off at 4, and he hobbles back to snapmare Kenta for another KICK! Kenta writhes and fans applaud. Henare runs in at the corner to SHINING WIZARD! Henare fireman’s carries for a RUNNING SAMOAN DROP! Fans rally up and Henare snarls. Henare drags Kenta up, HEADBUTTS him down, then goes up the corner. SECOND ROPE SENTON! Cover, TWO! Henare is annoyed but fans rally as Kenta is still in it.
Henare drags Kenta up, stalks behind him and reels him into the full nelson! Kenta fights it, throws elbows, and he ducks the lariat to spin Henare to a DDT! Fans fire up and Kenta KICKS Henare in the back! And again! Kenta stomps Henare on the apron but the ref counts. Kenta lets off and drags Henare up to drag him through the ropes! BRAINKILLER! Fans fire up and Henare sits up in the corner. Kenta runs corner to corner to BOOT Henare, then he goes corner to corner to SOARING DROPKICK! Kenta goes up top as Henare is in the drop zone, COUP DE GRACE! Cover, TWO! Henare survives and fans fire up again.
Kenta slashes his throat, vowing to finish this! Fans rally and Kenta drags Henare up. Henare blocks the lift, CLUBS Kenta again and again, but Kenta BOOTS him! And LARIATS! But Henare stays up! Henare swings, misses, but he catches Kenta for the BERSERKER BOMB! Fans fire up as both men are down, and Henare pounds the mat. Henare calls his shot, clamps onto Kenta, ULTIMA!! Kenta grabs the ref with a body scissors!! The ref reprimands and they all end up by the ropes! Henare throws Kenta down, which also throws the ref down! Henare argues with the ref but fans rally up. Kenta rolls Henare, TWO!!
Kenta hurries back up, and Henare runs in, into a POWERSLAM! Fans fire up and Kenta roars! Kenta drags Henare up, fireman’s carries, but Henare fights out! Henare ROCKS Kenta, Kenta ROCKS Henare! The forearms go back and forth and fans rally up as they pick up speed! Henare gets the edge, but Kenta CROSS COUNTERS! Kenta fires off haymaker after haymaker, but Henare hits a body shot! And the HEEL KICK! Fans fire up with Henare and he drags Kenta back up. Henare fisherman’s to the torture rack, but Kenta claws Henare’s face! Kenta drags Henare down into the armlock, but Henare rolls out of Game Over!
But Kenta shifts to get a TRIANGLE HOLD! Henare endures and fans rally, and Henare deadlifts Kenta for a POWERBOMB! Fans fire up as Henare goes to a corner. Henare shakes out his bad arm, takes aim at Kenta and runs in, RAMP- KNEE! Kenta drags Henare back down, GAME OVER CROSSFACE!! Henare endures as Kenta pulls back, fans rally up as Henare starts to fade! Henare taps, Kenta wins!
Winner: Kenta, by submission (gains 2 points; Henare earns 0)
The Ultimate Weapon’s first G1 run ends in defeat and with a 1-5 record, but it was all a valiant effort. Will Henare come back next year even stronger? As for Kenta, he has momentum as he prepares for another match tomorrow! Can Kenta tear down The Ace and spoil his chances?
G1 Climax, A Block: Toru Yano VS Jeff Cobb!
The Producer is also out of the running, but the Imperial Unit still has a chance. Will Cobb take Yano on a Tour of the Islands to keep on sailing in the G1?
As Cobb makes his entrance, he’s cosplaying Toru Yano! “Funny Jeff” has a Hawaiian shirt over his merch shirt, he has a DVD case, and he has a chair! He even gives the ring announcer a very long introduction to read off, just like Yano! And to copy Yano’s disinfectant bottle, Cobb has an air freshener spray! As for the real Yano… Wait, where is he? His music is playing but Yano isn’t walking out from the ramp or anywhere else. Cobb waits, but is he going to get a win by forfeit? The bell rings, Cobb tells the ref to start already, and the count begins. So either Yano shows up before the 20 count or he’s done!
Cobb is impatient, we’re only at 7 of 20. Wait, Yano runs in from the far side! He slides in, rolls Cobb up, TWO!! Yano panics and apologizes for his prank! Cobb runs in at the corner, Yano dodges and Cobb hits buckles! Yano shoves the ref, then sprays the disinfectant at Cobb’s face!! Roll up, TWO!! Cobb escapes but Yano brings him up to throw him out! Yano hurries after Cobb and whips, but Cobb reverses! Yano hits railing hard! Cobb wipes the spray out of his eyes, but he walks into an atomic drop! Yano tucks Cobb’s arms into his singlet, then wraps him up in the apron skirt! Yano shoves the #Cobburrito down and gets in the ring!
The ring count is rising, Cobb struggles against the skirt wrap, and we’re at 9 of 20! Cobb asks for help but we’re at 13! A Young Lion finally hurries over and helps Cobb get to his feet. Cobb wiggles into the ring at 18! Yano stands on Cobb to surf! Fans applaud as Yano hangs loose! Then Yano hurries to untie a buckle pad from a neutral corner. But Cobb comes back to kick! And kick! Cobb asks the ref for help but Yano kicks Cobb low. Yano runs, but Cobb manages a DROPKICK! Fans fire up as both men are down! Cobb finally gets his arms out of his singlet and fans rally up. Cobb drags Yano up to ROCK him with a right!
Cobb whips, Yano reverses, Cobb stops from hitting buckles, and then dodges! Yano hits the buckles, then Cobb hits an OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! Fans fire up and Cobb drags Yano up. Yano waistlocks but Cobb switches. Yano grabs at the ref but Cobb blocks the mule kick low blow! Cobb spins Yano, kicks and then pulls Yano’s shirt up over his face! Yano is blindfolded and he staggers around, into a SUPERKICK! Then a TOUR OF THE ISLANDS!! Cover, Cobb wins!
Winner: Jeff Cobb, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Yano earns 0)
“Funny Jeff” still got serious in the end, and he is still in the running! Will Cobb be able to survive to the semifinals? Or is his fate in someone else’s hands?
G1 Climax, D Block: Shingo Takagi VS Yujiro Takahashi w/ Pieter!
The Rampaging Dragon isn’t done in the G1 just yet, but to think the Tokyo Pimp would be leading the block! Will Takagi be able to drag Yujiro down? Or will Yujiro’s G1 run have a happy ending?
The moment the introductions are over, Yujiro rushes Takagi! Takagi blocks the boot and throws Yujiro down! The bell rings and Takagi drags Yujiro up to put in the corner. Takagi fires off forearms over and over, and fans fire up as Takagi ROCKS Yujiro again. Takagi whips and KNEES Yujiro at the ropes, then runs to run Yujiro over! Fans fire up and Takagi runs in at the corner. Yujiro BOOTS, but Takagi powers through to clothesline! Takagi then reels Yujiro in to suplex high and hard! Fans fire up but Yujiro bails out of the ring. Takagi pursues, brings Yujiro up and RAMS him into the apron! Takagi then whips Yujiro into railing!
Yujiro flounders away and Pieter checks on him. Takagi storms his way over but Pieter stands in his way. Can a bunny tame a dragon? Takagi is intrigued but Yujiro rushes in! Takagi blocks the sucker punch to ROCK Yujiro back! Pieter scampers away and Takagi scolds her before he CLUBS Yujiro. Takagi POSTS Yujiro, then tells the ref to hold on. Takagi smacks Yujiro off the apron, then again, and again! Fans rally up and Takagi puts Yujiro in the ring. Yujiro crawls away to the far side and bails out again. Yujiro goes looking under the ring and he gets a chair! Takagi takes his time walking over, and Yujiro JAMS him with the chair!
The ref reprimands and takes the chair, and Yujiro knees Takagi low. Yujiro whips but Takagi reverses. Yujiro stops from hitting railing, and he drop toeholds Takagi into the railing! Then REVERSE DDT to the floor! The ref reprimands Yujiro and he apologizes before getting in the ring. Takagi stirs and the ring count starts. Takagi stands up at 6 of 20, he gets frustrated, and he gets in at 10. Yujiro stomps Takagi over and over in the corner then digs his knee in. The ref reprimands, Yujiro brings Takagi up and snapmares for the basement BOOT! Cover, ONE!! Yujiro is surprised and annoyed, but he rains down fists!
The ref reprimands about the closed fists and Yujiro lets off. Yujiro drags Takagi up and bumps Takagi off buckles. Yujiro knees low, throws back elbows, but Takagi clinches! Yujiro digs his forearm into Takagi’s eyes! Yujiro lets off, runs in and BOOTS Takagi again! Fans applaud that bit of agility and Yujiro snapmares Takagi to drop a leg, drop an elbow, and drop a headbutt! Cover, TWO! Fans rally up for “TA-KA-GI!” but Yujiro brings him up. Takagi eggs Yujiro on and Yujiro throws a forearm! And another forearm! And another! Takagi JABS, JABS and JABS, to then DOUBLE CHOP! Fans fire up and Takagi drags Yujiro back up.
Fans fire up as Takagi says it’s go time! Another suplex, but Yujiro wrenches out and BITES the hand! The ref reprimands, Yujiro lets off to fisherman, but Takagi BITES back! Fans cheer the turnabout being fair play but the ref still reprimands. Takagi lets off and wretches from the bad taste. Yujiro ROCKS Takagi then runs, but into the ELBOW! JAB! YUKON LARIAT! Fans fire up again and Takagi pounds the mat. Fans rally and Takagi aims from a corner. Yujiro stands, Takagi runs in to run him over! And then scoops to SLAM, for a SENTON! But that’s not all! Takagi drags Yujiro up, hooks him up, but Yujiro fights the Gory Especial!
Yujiro throws back elbows, but Takagi spins through to suplex! Yujiro fights that so Takagi hits a SWINGING NECKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! But Takagi says there’s still more! “OI! OI! OI!” Fans clap along and Takagi drags Yujiro back up. But wait, here comes Sho! Takagi sees Sho and his little wrench, but Yujiro sneaks up! Takagi elbows Yujiro away, whips him to ropes, but Yujiro holds ropes. Takagi rushes in, Yujiro dodges and distracts the ref as Sho grabs at Takagi! Yujiro runs in to BOOT Takagi! Yujiro reels Takagi in, INCOLLE SLAM! Fans fire up as both men are down, and Yujiro crawls over to drag Takagi up.
Fans rally for “TA-KA-GI!” as Yujiro fireman’s carries, MIAMI SHINE! Cover, TWO! Takagi is still in this and Yujiro is frustrated. Yujiro drags Takagi back up and reels him in, but Takagi says no to Big Juice! Takagi throws body shots, wrenches out, blocks a haymaker and he HEADBUTTS away on Yujiro! Both men wobble but Takagi runs, only for Sho to be there with a chair! The ref reprimands, Takagi goes back to Yujiro for boxing elbows! Fans rally as Takagi runs again, but into a BOOT! Yujiro runs, but into a clothesline! Takagi runs but Yujiro distracts the ref again, Sho SMACKS Takagi with the chair!
Yujiro reels Takagi in, PIMP JUICE! Cover, TWO!! Takagi survives the screw job and fans fire up! Yujiro pleads with the ref but two is two! Yujiro drags Takagi up but Takagi blocks Big Juice again! Takagi powers up to power out and he ELBOWS! JABS! YUKON feint to the DDT! And SLIDING FOREARM! Fans fire up again as Yujiro flounders around. Takagi gets up and headbutts the buckles to fire back up! LARIAT! But Takagi gets Yujiro up to a MADE IN JAPAN!! Cover, TWO!?!? Yujiro survives and even Sho is shocked! Takagi gets back up as fans rally again. Takagi stands Yujiro up to pump handle and torture rack.
Yujiro wriggles and gets free to the apron to rake eyes! Takagi runs back in but Yujiro dumps him out! Yujiro staggers over, gets Takagi up and whips him into railing! The ref has Sho stay back as Yujiro goes over to bring Takagi around. Yujiro whips Takagi into more railing, and then he wobbles and hobbles to get Takagi back. Takagi fires off forearms in return! Takagi whips, Yujiro reverses and Takagi hits railing even harder! Takagi falls in a heap, Yujiro and Sho both shout for the ring count. The ref starts, Yujiro sits Takagi up, but no Pimp Juice Basement BOOT instead! And then FISHERMAN BUSTER to the floor!
Yujiro gets in the ring at 12 of 20 but Takagi is right after him! Takagi fireman’s carries for a DEATH VALLEY DRIVER to the floor! The count is 16 of 20!! Takagi staggers up and in at 18! Yujiro is down but Sho throws him in at 19.5! Fans fire up as this keeps going, and Takagi runs in at Yujiro with a clothesline! Takagi pump handles, torture racks, but Yujiro BITES again! The ref reprimands, Yujiro throws Takagi’s arm into him! The ref staggers but stays up, Yujiro shove Takagi into him! The ref goes down, Yujiro hits a REVERSE DDT! Fans rally but Sho sends a chair in! Yujiro gets the chair, takes aim and runs in, and he JAMS Takagi low!
Yujiro then reels back to SMACK Takagi on the back! But Takagi LARIATS through the chair! And CHUCKS the chair at Sho!! PUMPING BOMBER!! But that’s not all! Yujiro deserves this one! LAST OF THE DRAGONS!! Cover, Takagi wins!!
Winner: Shingo Takagi, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Yujiro earns 0)
Well, well, well! D Block is looking like a real rock-paper-scissors scenario! Yujiro beat David Finlay, who beat Takagi (and quite a few others) but Takagi just beat Yujiro! What will this mean for the semifinals with another D Block match up next?
G1 Climax, D Block: YOSHI-HASHI VS Will Ospreay!
The Headhunter and the Commonwealth Kingpin are both still alive in the block, but the window is closing! Will the NEVER Openweight Six Man Tag Champion shock the IWGP US Heavyweight Champion? Or will Ospreay make sure Hashi does NOT #GetBackUp?
The bell rings and fans rally up. These two circle and tie up, and are in a deadlock. Ospreay finds a point of leverage and he powers Hashi to ropes. Ospreay talks some trash as he lets off, then he pats Hashi on the side. Before he knees low and hard! Ospreay headlocks and grinds Hashi but Hashi throws body shots. Hashi powers up and out to reel Ospreay into a headlock! Fans applaud the exchange, then Ospreay powers up and out. Hashi runs Ospreay over, but Ospreay kips right back up! Fans applaud again the agility, then Ospreay gets Hashi with a “made you look” and SLAP! Hashi CHOPS back!
Ospreay staggers away, stinging from that back hand. Hashi runs in to CHOP again! And whip to CHOP, then mule kick! Hashi turns Ospreay to hit a NECKBREAKER! Cover, ONE, but Hashi keeps cool. Fans rally up and Hashi brings Ospreay up. Hashi CLUBS Ospreay on the back and Ospreay goes to a corner. Hashi stomps and CHOPS Ospreay and Ospreay shouts in pain! Hashi stands Ospreay up and reels him in to suplex. Ospreay slips out, shoves and fireman’s carries to then HOTSHOT! Ospreay runs to BOOT Hashi down! Fans fire up for the agility but Ospreay needs a second from the stinging in his chest.
Ospreay drags Hashi up and bumps him off buckles. Ospreay CHOPS back and Hashi sputters now. Fans fire up and Ospreay wrenches Hashi to whip corner to corner hard! Hashi bounces off buckles and hits the mat hard! Ospreay grabs the bad arm and sets it on the apron, to drop a knee right on it! Hashi shouts in pain and clutches that bad arm. Ospreay drags Hashi off the apron, wrenches the bad arm and then YANKS Hashi into the post! Hashi staggers away and leans against railing from the pain, but Ospreay leaves him behind. Fans rally up for Hashi and the ring count begins. The count is 8 of 20 as Hashi gets in the ring, and Ospreay mockingly applauds.
Ospreay drags Hashi up, but Hashi throws body shots! Ospreay gets the arm for an ELBOW BREAKER! No mercy from the Kingpin as Hashi writhes again. Ospreay tells Hashi this is his last chance to give up now. Hashi refuses so Ospreay omoplatas the good arm. Ospreay CHOPS Hashi in the side then grabs the bad arm! RECLINER ARMLOCK! Cover, but Hashi slips off before Red Shoes can count. Ospreay mockingly applauds as Hashi goes to the apron. Ospreay drags Hashi back in and wrenches again for the snapmare and top wristlock. Hashi endures again and Ospreay digs his knuckles in. Red Shoes reprimands but Ospreay pulls at the arm!
Hashi endures more, even as Ospreay is bending him across his knee! Hashi fights up, throws body shots to get free, but Ospreay CLUBS him down! Ospreay whips Hashi to a corner, runs in, but Hashi dodges! Ospreay hits buckles, but he BOOTS back! Hsahi swings but into a spin from Ospreay! Ospreay suplexes, Hashi fights it off, and Hashi suplexes to get the NECKBREAKER! Fans fire up while both men are down! Hashi and Ospreay both stand, but Hashi CLOBBERS Ospreay with elbows! Hashi whips, Ospreay reverses but Hashi comes back to dropkick the leg out! Then HEADHUNTER! Fans fire up with Hashi as he gets back up!
Ospreay gets to the ropes, Hashi runs in to CHOP! Hashi brings Ospreay up to suplex and hang Ospreay out to dry. Hashi runs side to side to DROPKICK Ospreay down! Then Hashi sits Ospreay up for a basement dropkick! Cover, TWO! Fans rally up and Hashi gets to his feet. Hashi brings Ospreay up and reels him in, but Ospreay wrenches out. Hashi ROCKS Ospreay, kicks him and whips him, but Ospreay handsprings to a NEURALIZER! Direct hit with that kick! Fans fire up as Hashi bails out, Ospreay hurries over to PLANCHA! Direct hit and both men are down! Fans fire up again, and Ospreay slowly sits up first.
Ospreay drags Hashi up and puts him in the ring. Ospreay aims, springboards, PIP PIP CHEERIO! Cover, TWO! Hashi is still in this and fans rally up! Ospreay keeps his focus, he drags Hashi back up, and he reels Hashi in to turn him. Hashi resists, so Ospreay gives him a Kowata Kick and a big CHOP! Hashi staggers to a corner and Ospreay runs in, but Hashi BOOTS back! Hashi runs in but into an elbow! Ospreay runs but into a CHOP! Hashi runs but into the Tiger Wall Kick and ENZIGURI! Fans fire up again as both men are down! Ospreay drags Hashi up, scoops him and SLAMS him, then goes to the corner.
Fans rally as Ospreay climbs, but Hashi rises! Hashi ROCKS Ospreay, CHOPS him, then climbs up after him. Hashi brings Ospreay up, but Ospreay fights the superplex! Fans rally as Ospreay and Hashi trade body shots! Ospreay fires off HEADBUTT after HEADBUTT, then SUPER GOURD BUSTERS Hashi down! Hashi hobbles up, into the FLYING FOREARM to the back! Ospreay gets Hashi up to a FALCON ARROW! Cover, TWO!! Ospreay is surprised Hashi is still in this, but Ospreay snarls and waits on Hashi to rise. Ospreay then calls his shot, springboards, OS- NO! Hashi full nelsons to a SNAP DRAGON!
Fans rally up again as both men are down. Hashi sits up first but Ospreay follows. Hashi fires up and runs, but Ospreay swats the lariat! So Hashi CHOPS! And aims, to SUPERKICK! Fans fire up and Hashi drags Ospreay into the full nelson. Spin and pump handle, but Ospreay fights Karma with elbows. Ospreay ROCKS Hashi with a forearm, but Hashi comes back with a forearm of his own! Hashi eggs Ospreay on so Ospreay ROCKS him again! Hashi ROCKS Ospreay, but Ospreay ROCKS Hashi! Fans rally as the forearms go faster and faster, and then Hashi CHOPS! Hashi CHOPS again, then again!
Ospreay CHOPS and CHOPS and CHOPS! Hashi reels Ospreay in but Ospreay throws a forearm! Hashi HEABUTTS! Ospreay ROUNDHOUSES! Both men fall over and fans are thunderous! Ospreay roars and drags Hashi back up, but Hashi ducks the roundhouse! Pump handle to KARMA!! Hashi has to crawl to the cover, TWO!! Ospreay survives and fans are thunderous again! Hashi is too sore to be upset so he just gets up. Hashi roars, runs, and LARIATS! Ospreay flips around, Hashi gets him up, pump handle and KAR- STUN-DOG MILLIONAIRE!! Fans fire up and Ospreay grits his teeth! Springboard, OSCUTTER!! Cover, TWO!?!
Hashi survives and fans can’t believe it! Ospreay can’t believe it, either, but he drags Hashi around. Ospreay prepares his arm, takes aim, but Hashi ducks the Hidden Blade! SUPERKICK! But Ospreay dodges the lariat, to OS- SUPERKICK!! Hashi gets Ospreay with some anti-air and he hurries to add on! DESTROYER!! Cover, TWO!!! Ospreay survives and fans are thunderous again! Hashi pushes himself back up, sits Ospreay up and clamps on with a SLEEPER! Ospreay endures, fights up, but Hashi spins him into the pump handle. Ospreay slips out to HOOK KICK! Hashi runs in to LARIAT! But Ospreay roars!
Ospreay swats a lariat, ROLLING ELBOW to the HOOK KICK, tot he LIGER- FACEBUSTER from Hashi!! Hashi gets Ospreay up to the KUMAGOROSHI!! Cover, TWO!?!? Ospreay survives and the fans are electric! Hashi stands and fires up! Hashi runs, but into a SPANISH FLY! Cover, TWO!! Ospreay drags Hashi right up to turn him, DREAM SMASHER ELBOW! And then from the corner, HIDDEN BLADE!! Cover, Ospreay wins!
Winner: Will Ospreay, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Hashi earns 0)
The Kingpin wins, and the D Block picture is still a mess! Can Hashi recover to have his last G1 match tomorrow? As for Ospreay, will he settle things with Juice Robinson on Tuesday and make the path forward a bit clearer?
G1 Climax, B Block: Taichi w/ Miho Abe VS Jay White w/ Gedo!
One way or another, The Holy Emperor finishes his run this weekend, but if he wins here, it might not even matter! Will the Sliest Wrestler in the World be able to snatch a golden ticket off the IWGP World Heavyweight Champion? Or will he breath with the Switchblade as the Jay1 goes 5-0?
White and Taichi both have quite a bit to put aside, from jackets to belts. Taichi shows off the dancing pecs and even White applauds. White gets his moving, too, so he isn’t out of the NJPW Dancing with the Pecs running. White gets impatient with Red Shoes and he Too Sweets with Gedo. The bell rings and fans rally up as White and Taichi stare down. White and Taichi circle, tie up, and are in a deadlock. Taichi finds a point of leverage and he puts White in a corner. Red Shoes calls the ropebreak, Taichi pats White on the shoulder then backs away. Fans applaud and White dusts himself off. Taichi and White reset and circle again.
Taichi offers White a sumo style showdown. Fans rally up for that and White says okay, but how does it work? They crouch, then Taichi does the sumo stomp. White asks Gedo if that’s how it’s done. White returns the stomp, and they square up at center. But then White pulls hair and RAMS Taichi into the corner! White stomps a mudhole then throws forearms. White mocks the sumo then whips corner to corner. Taichi reverses and runs in but White bails out! White says nope, Taichi isn’t getting the better of him. White wants Red Shoes to keep Taichi back so he can get in. Taichi does back up and White returns.
Gedo grabs Taichi’s foot! White CLUBS away on Taichi, mocks the sumo then whips, but Taichi reverses. White holds ropes and bails out, but Taichi rushes out after him! White slides back in, Taichi pursues, but White facelocks. Taichi RAMS White into a corner! Red Shoes calls the ropebreak, Taichi slowly lets off, but White avoids the cheap shot to CHOP! Taichi just snarls and CHOKES White! Taichi has White in the corner, Gedo protests but then Taichi tells Gedo to shut up before he CHOKES Gedo! White rakes Taichi’s eyes to make him let Gedo go! White fireman’s carries and HOTSHOTS Taichi to the floor!
White applauds mockingly and he smirks as he mocks more of Taichi’s sumo style. White drags Taichi up to CHOKE him on the railing right in front of commentary! Red Shoes reprimands, White lets off and Taichi falls over. White borrows some camera cable to CHOKE Taichi! Red Shoes reprimands but White talks trash on Taichi. White lets off, tells Miho to shut it but she’s all the way on the other side of the ring. White drags Taichi up and into the ring, then puts him on the apron. White CLUBS Taichi in the chest again and again! Gedo likes it as White SMOTHERS Taichi with the apron skirt! Red Shoes reprimands, White tells Miho to shut up, but he does let off.
White is polite enough to put the skirt back where it belongs and he wipes the sweat away with his towel. White drags Taichi to a cover but Red Shoes refuses to count! Gedo and White ask why, but it’s obviously because of the shenanigans with the skirt! Gedo distracts Red Shoes with his dramatic whining so that White can CHOKE Taichi with the towel! Miho protests, Red Shoes sees something’s up, and White lets off on the towel. White tells Red Shoes to relax, it’s just his towel! The towel is taken away, and White gets the fans to clap again. “TA-I-CHI!” “JAY WHI-TO!” White mocks Taichi but Taichi kicks back from the ropes!
Taichi whips White, White reverses and kicks low to throw Taichi by his hair! White CHOKES Taichi, much like Taichi would. Red Shoes reprimands, he won’t count the cover. But White says Taichi does it all the time! Speaking of, Taichi CHOKES White from below! Gedo protests, White stomps Taichi into letting go, then stomps him more! White sputters and coughs at the ropes but fans rally up. White sits Taichi up into a chinlock but Taichi endures. White grinds Taichi down but Taichi kicks around. Taichi pulls White’s hair, stands up, and he throws elbows. Taichi KICKS White’s leg, KICKS it again, then blocks White’s kick to KICK again!
White hobbles away and fans fire up! Taichi storms over but White knees low. White Too Sweet CHOPS! And Too Sweet CHOPS! White whips Taichi corner to corner, then runs in, but Taichi dodges the chop! Taichi CHOKES White again! Gedo protests, Red Shoes reprimands, and White tries to choke Taichi back! Taichi breaks that grip and shoves White into the corner to GAMANGIRI! Fans fire up as both men fall down! White stirs and gets out of the corner while Taichi sits up. Taichi stands and storms up on White to KICK him back down! Fans fire up while White sits back up. Taichi KICKS him down again!
Gedo grows worried for White as he manages to sit up again. Taichi KICKS White down again! Taichi taunts White, looms over him, then drags him up to snapmare and KICK in the back! White writhes and fans fire up as Taichi stalks White to ropes. Taichi drags White up, whips but White reverses. Taichi reverses back to DANGEROUS HOOK KICK! Fans fire up and Taichi looms over White again. Taichi drags White up to reel him in but White fights off the saido! White CLUBS away, fires off forearms, but Taichi KICKS the leg! White hobbles and drops to a knee. Taichi runs in at the corner, White dodges and fireman’s carries, DEATH VALLEY BOMB!
Fans fire up and Gedo cheers, but both men are down. White sits up and clutches his chest while fans rally. Taichi rolls away to a corner but White runs in, UPPERCUT! White brings Taichi out to suplex for BLADEBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Taichi is still in this and White is frustrated. White drags Taichi up, reels him in, but Taichi fights the urenage with elbows Taichi wrenches, White ducks the roundhouse and hits a COMPLETE SHOT! White then shifts to a waistlock and he deadlift GERMAN SUPLEXES! Fans fire up but Gedo is the most excited about that one. Fans rally up, White drags Taichi up and reels him in, URENAGE! Stacked cover, TWO!
White is frustrated and Gedo is furious but White sits Taichi up. White wraps on the SLEEPER, then he drags Taichi up! Taichi backs White down but White sends him into the buckles! White runs back in but into a BOOT! Taichi rushes but White ducks to CHOP! Taichi SOBATS, White UPPERCUTS, Taichi ENZIGURIS! Both men are down again and fans fire up! Taichi and White stir, Taichi sits up and fires himself up. Gedo shouts to White to get up but OFF COME THE PANTS! Taichi powers up in the corner and takes aim, but GEDO GRABS MIHO! Gedo’s got Miho by her hair! White waistlocks to SAIDO!!
Gedo says White should finish this, and he’ll keep Miho! White taunts Taichi with his “damsel in distress!” White makes Taichi look, and then he stands on Taichi’s head. White mockingly asks if Miho is okay, and Miho is almost in tears! Fans rally for Taichi but White CHOPS him! And CHOPS him! And CHOPS! Taichi stands up, White CHOPS, and Taichi just glares at Gedo! White wants Taichi to pay attention to him, so Taichi DECKS him!! Taichi goes out after Gedo and Gedo lets go of Miho. Gedo apologizes but Taichi doesn’t care. And in storms Yoshinobu Kanemaru! Suzuki-Gun doesn’t take kindly to mistreating a lady!
Gedo turns around and he sees he’s surrounded! Gedo scurries into the ring but Taichi rushes in after him. Gedo still wants mercy but White full nelsons! Taichi arm-drags White away, and DOUBLE AX BOMBERS! Fans are thunderous and Taichi gets White up to the LAST RIDE!! High stack, TWO!!? White survives but fans are thunderous again! Kanemaru coaches Taichi up while keeping Gedo down. Fans rally up and Taichi snarls. Taichi then roars and fans fire up with him! Taichi aims from the corner, for JYUTEN- NO, White drops down! White uses his opossum technique but Taichi says this isn’t much of a world champion then.
Taichi kicks White around, taunts him, and drags him up. White CHOPS back, but Taichi withstands it! Taichi eggs White on, so White LARIATS! Taichi rebounds, but swings into the SNAP SLEEPER SUPLEX! But Taichi’s right back up! White gets around but Taichi turns things around with a DANGEROUS SAIDO!! Taichi crawls to the cover, TWO! White is still in this but fans rally behind Taichi! Taichi and White rise again and Taichi slashes his throat to say this is done. Taichi Alabama Lifts but White sprawls to block! White brings Taichi up but Taichi breaks free and BUZZSAWS! And then Taichi hooks up the arms!
Wait, Taichi backs off on the Gedo Clutch because actual Gedo is getting in the ring! Taichi KICKS the ropes to low blow Gedo! Gedo falls down but White gets Taichi, BLADE- NO, Taichi throws White down and GEDO CLUTCH! TWO!?!?! White escapes by mere nanoseconds! But Taichi runs in to Alabama Lift and- White slips off! White blocks the kick, reels Taichi in but Taichi elbows free! Taichi clinches and SUMO THROWS! And then Taichi sets up, YOKOZUNA- BLADE- NO! YOKOZUNA ELBOW!!! Cover, TWO!?!?!? White is still surviving by the skin of his teeth! Miho is mad and she wants White to pay!
Fans are thunderous, Taichi slowly stands back up and he roars! Taichi drags White up, reels him into the Alabama Lift, but White sunset flips! BLADE- NO!! DANGEROUS SAIDO!! With bridge, TWO!?!!! Taichi is getting mad now and he drags White up! Alabama, but White wrenches! BLADERUNNER!!!! But White can’t make the cover!! Fans are electric as both men slowly stir! White flounders his way over, he drags Taichi back up, but he can’t get that dead weight up! White has to use the ropes, but Taichi throws haymakers from below! And CHOKES White! White still powers through to BLADERUNNER!!! Cover, White wins!!
Winner: Jay White, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Taichi earns 0)
White is FIVE AND OH! And in one fell swoop, The Switchblade eliminates both the Holy Emperor and the Cold Skull! Their records are not enough to take the block, will they just have to have better luck next year?
But as Taichi is taken away by Young Lions, Kanemaru and Miho trailing after, White gets the mic to say, “Hey! Hey! Come back! Come back!” He even adds in Japanese, “Don’t discriminate.” White then demands ice from the Young Lions, and they bring him a few icepacks. White puts them all on his chest given those sharp kicks from Taichi. He also claims he still has heat stroke like he did earlier this week. MORE ICE! “Shimoda! Shimoda-san, more ice!” Even more ice is brought while some fans are leaving. White again says, “Did you guys not hear? I had heat stroke, I need ice to cool down.”
White chuckles a bit and says, “Heat stroke? HEAT STROKE? I live in Florida! Do you think a little bit of sun, and heat, is going to bother me? How gullible and stupid can you all be?! But I appreciate the days off in Hiroshima, the days off those pointless matches worth zero points in the Jay1 Climax! It was nice to have that rest so I could be well-rested for matches that do matter, like today, and like against one Tama Tonga.” But that’s not what White wants to be saying. He wants to say, “Thank you all so much for all of your heartfelt messages and well-wishes and prayers, saying, ‘Jay White, please get better. Jay White, take care of yourself.'”
That really brought a tear to White’s eye and he wouldn’t be here tonight to fight his heart out for all the fans, if not for all those lovely, lovely messages. White pretends to cry over this but he can’t help but laugh. “Still my ear! Undefeated! Switchblade Era!” Jay drops the mic, but will he keep this momentum going to a spotless 6-0? Or will he drop the ball in the final round against The Good Bad Guy?
Here are the NEW standings!
- Kazuchika Okada: 4-1, 8 points
- Lance Archer: 3-2, 6 points
- JONAH: 3-2, 6 points
- Jeff Cobb: 3-2, 6 points
- Bad Luck Fale: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
- Tom Lawlor: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
- Toru Yano: 1-5, 2 points [ELIMINATED]
- Jay White: 5-0, 10 points
- Tama Tonga: 4-1, 8 points
- SANADA: 3-2, 6 points [ELIMINATED]
- Taichi: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
- Chase Owens: 2-4, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
- Great-O-Khan: 1-4, 2 points [ELIMINATED]
- Tomohiro Ishii: 1-4, 2 points [ELIMINATED]
- Zack Sabre Jr: 4-1, 8 points
- Hirooki Goto: 3-2, 6 points
- Hiroshi Tanahashi: 3-2, 6 points
- Tetsuya Naito: 3-2, 6 points
- EVIL: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
- KENTA: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
- Aaron Henare: 1-5, 2 points [ELIMINATED]
- David Finlay: 3-2, 6 points
- Shingo Takagi: 3-2, 6 points
- Will Ospreay: 3-2, 6 points
- Yujiro Takahashi: 3-3, 6 points
- El Phantasmo: 2-3, 4 points
- YOSHI-HASHI: 2-3, 4 points
- Juice Robinson: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
A great event for the G1, and what a great variety in these blocks. Henare VS Kenta was a great match, even with both men out of the running. But Kenta winning makes the most sense, as he’s the veteran and he needs the momentum to take on Hiroshi Tanahashi tomorrow. There is a chance Kenta wins that, as both revenge for their IWGP US Championship No Disqualifications match, as well as clear the way for Naito or Zack Sabre Jr. That win would be a big feather in Kenta’s cap, who knows if it happens. Yano VS Cobb was a ton of fun, but of course Cobb wins to keep going. Cobb VS Lawlor is tomorrow, both their last one this G1, Lawlor could get a HUGE spoiler right at the end here.
The D Block is hilariously chaotic here, and NJPW is brilliant for finding a way to make this work. Yujiro VS Takagi was a very good match, but I figured Takagi would win. Hashi VS Ospreay was awesome stuff, Hashi is continuing to look awesome, but I figured Ospreay would win. Yujiro is right smack in the middle, but he has one of the more important wins since he beat David Finlay to start this G1 before Finlay went on that wild run. Finlay has a win over Takagi, Ospreay and Juice, but ELP also just beat Finlay, and there’s still Finlay VS Hashi tomorrow. No one really knows what will happen if all seven men end up 3-3, so I would think one person has to go 4-2 and then that guy, whoever it is, is D Block’s guy.
Taichi VS White was awesome stuff, and it really felt worth of someone facing the IWGP World Heavyweight Champion. It felt like Taichi could’ve taken that win but in the end, White stays spotless. It will still come down to White VS Tama on Tuesday, “win and you’re in,” and either way, that result is going to be wild. Tama can get the golden ticket and go strong into the semifinals, or White runs the block (granted a smaller block) to look almost unstoppable.
My Score: 8.8/10
Andrew’s IMPACT Emergence Results & Match Ratings: 8.12.2022
ALEX SHELLEY VS JOSH ALEXANDER! CHAMPIONSHIP! TONIGHT! ‘NUFF SAID!
OKAY! So we all know I’m just hype to get to the main event and hopefully see Alex Shelley win the title. So I’ll do the whole “here’s my picks” cheap way to do an intro, and then into the coverage.
- X Division Match – Bailey retains (because I hate Jack Evans)
- Maclin vs Callihan – Callihan wins (because Moose needs a reason to get involved)
- VBD vs Motor City Time – VBD win (because they need relevance)
- Honor No More vs Bullet Club – Honor No More win (because Impact made me like Matt Taven)
- Bandido vs Rey Horus: Bandido wins (because he’s already got more name recognition)
- Knockouts: Jordynne Grace vs Mia Yim: Jordynne wins (because they hot shot belts to new people too much)
- World Title: Alex Shelley vs Josh Alexander: Alex Shelley wins (because I want him to)
Now on to the show!
It's MAIN EVENT TIME!
— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) August 13, 2022
- X Division Championship: Speedball Mike Bailey (c) vs Jack Evans: Bailey retains via Ultima Weapon – * 1/2
- Steve Maclin vs Sami Callihan: Never Happened
- VBD (Eric Young & Deaner w/Joe Doering) vs Motor City Time (Kushida & Chris Sabin): EY wins via Piledriver – *** 1/4
- AAA Attraction Match: Bandido vs Rey Horus: Bandido wins via 21Plex – ***
- NODQ Anything Goes: Steve Maclin vs Sami Callihan: Callihan wins via Cactus Driver ’97 – *** 3/4
- Honor No More (Mike Bennett, Matt Taven, Vincent, PCO & Eddie Edwards w/Maria) vs Bullet Club (Doc Gallows, Karl Anderson, Hikuleo, Ace Austin, Chris Bey): Taven wins via Climax into Trash Can – *** 1/4
- Knockouts World Championship: Jordynne Grace (c) vs Mia Yim: Grace retains via Grace Driver – *** 3/4
- IMPACT World Heavyweight Championship: Josh Alexander (c) vs Alex Shelley: Josh retains via C4 Spike – *****
X Division Championship: Speedball Mike Bailey (c) vs Jack Evans
It should be no surprise from previous coverage, I like nothing about Jack Evans. Bad look, no psychology, all stupid flips and cheap heel gimmicks. I’m ecstatic that we get the match with the worst wrestler out of the way immediately.
Evans dives at Speedball’s legs, tries to get some cheap Roll-Ups, typical heel powder, bait into the corner, cheap shot but Bailey manages a Top Wristlock to slow down Evans. Evans Cartwheels out, two stupid High Risk misses, a few more dumb spots and then they meet in the middle with dueling Crossbodies. The early goings, really looks slow and stupid.
Kick Fight, Bailey gets the best of it, Dropkick, Dive, throws him back in, powders out, another dive, throws him back in, another powder and Bailey hits the old Will Ospreay fake dive, before trying to get Evans back in. Baits Bailey to the rope, catches him and then Slingshot Jecht Shot into a Muta Lock, but again, these are just moves with no real story. So congrats he’s agile and flexibile I suppose.
Random Snap Suplex for a 2. The match slows down to molasses in a mayo jar, Bailey tries to counter an Irish Whip, but Evans catches him. Still a super slow Rocket Launcher attempt that Bailey counters and kicks Evans in the face. A few more kicks and then a Corkscrew Shooting Star for 2. Delayed really dumb Cartwheel Back Elbow from Evans, into a Suplex and then Falcon Arrow. But Evans’ offense is just bad, he’s like if you ordered Kid Kash on Wish.
An awful and slow Double Kick spot actually has me laughing at how awful this is. I really enjoy Speedball, but god he can’t carry a match with a wrestler not worth the hot dog or handshake he was promised. Lame Dropkick from Bailey, Escalera Moonsault gets the sympathy pop from the crowd, but this needs to end soon. Apron Triangle Kick from Evans, throws in Bailey, Blockbuster gives Evans a near fall. Evans to the top, Bailey tries to cut him off, Evans fights him off twice, but Bailey keeps rising. Sloppy Spider Suplex from Evans, Evans goes for a spot, Bailey moves, Evans heads to the corner, Tornado Kick spot that Evans takes poorly (might’ve been a receipt for the bad Spider Suplex), Ultima Weapon from Bailey and he retains. Thankfully.
Honor No More segment with Eddie trying to fire up the troops. I’ll say this, he’s become a better talker, but he’s still not close to good. I would like Honor No More to win, but it feels like the way to write them out. Here’s to hoping even if they lose, a few of them stick around as official Impact wrestlers.
Steve Maclin vs Sami Callihan
Maclin attacks Sami during his entrance, and they just brawl. The bell never rings, Sami grabs a chair, the referee tries to stop him, Sami shoves the ref but Maclin counters. Maclin tries to use the chair, the referee tries to stop him and Sami and Maclin both bully the referee and shove him to the ground before continuing to brawl.
They just go out through the crowd, continuing to fight as commentary claims the match never took place but the show must go on, so we go to the tag match!
VBD (Eric Young & Deaner w/Joe Doering) vs Motor City Time (Kushida & Chris Sabin)
Kushida and Young start off, the crowd starts the Kushida chant and Young hops out to admonish the crowd for chanting for Kushida. EY slides back in and pushes Kushida into the corner and muscles him over a little before tagging Deaner in. Deaner tries to go for the Deaner DDT early, but Kushida counters with a few short arm tackles, a lot of wrist control and then quick tags and fun tandem work.
Tandem Forward Roll Body Scissors into the Kushida PK Kick to the left arm already starts the foreshadowing on the Hoverboard Lock. EY sneak attacks Kushida during a rope run giving Deaner the opportunity to tag out, EY a few quick spots, then Kushida kicks him over the top rope, Flair Flop and stumble to the turnbuckle, a little shenanigans and EY ends up with the advantage still. Rude Awakening style Neckbreaker for a 2 count from EY before tagging in Deaner and hitting a Double Boot Face Sandwich on the apron against Kushida.
VBD keep peppering in quick tags against Kushida, and it’s working pretty well. They keep him in the corner and do their version of the Unicorn Stampede, as Kushida tries to fight back but EY drops Sabin off the apron. Fastball Special punches as both VBD men are doubled over, Kushida literally runs up and over the men, rolls off to tag in Sabin. Clears house a bit, hints at Cradle Shock on Deaner, but EY gets him. EY tries to do the MCMG reference of the 5 Hole Dive, but Kushida breaks it up and they pull off their own version. Cradle Shock/Pele Combo gets a 2 count because EY slides in to break it up. EY takes control, sets up Deaner to receive his tag and things he can land the Piledriver on Sabin. Double Neckbreakers, into the Canadian Savage aerial moves before Kushida breaks it up. VBD almost slows him down before a back hand spring Double Back Elbow has everyone laid out for a moment. Rising Fighting Spirit spot, VBD take short cuts, but get Irish Whipped, Do-si-do, doesn’t matter, High Speed Dirt into a Cravat/Cartwheel Dropkick. Deaner grabs a weapon, Doering bonks Kushida and EY gets the job done with the Piledriver.
VBD needed the win here, so I’m glad they did what they needed to, to have them remain a somewhat credible force before it all eventually implodes.
VXT gloats a little after their Knockouts Tag Title victory on the pre-show. Deonna is gold, so it’s always nice when she’s wearing some.
Kenny King comes out to try and bait out Heath. I don’t mind Kenny, but his promos can be corny as hell sometimes. Some cheap shots at the Bears, then a little reference to Chicago stuff, but Sami and Maclin make their way back through the crowd to distract Kenny. Heath runs down the ramp when Kenny ain’t looking, Wake Up Call after a missed Chairshot and Kenny gets left laying. Gia grabs a quick interview with Heath and the crowd responds well to him. He says he’s not gonna interfere in the 5v5, so here’s to hoping that Honor No More win, since Heath can’t continue his Wake Up Call Revenge Tour if they disband.
AAA Attraction Match: Bandido vs Rey Horus
Bandido looks like he’s having to slow down by a step or two in the early goings. Horus is just not ready to go at the speed Bandido is and its evident from Horus not ducking in time so he eats a boot while he’s obviously trying to dodge. It’s a bunch of moves pretty quick, and honestly I can’t tell what’s actually being countered, missed or just mistimed. So this early portion is not starting off good.
Things finally start to slow down when Bandido hits the Plancha, tries to continue into the ring and eats a Dropkick. Three Amigos from Bandido with the Eddie Shake before dropping down into a Worm, Handstand Senton for 2. Bandido on the outside, thought he was clever walking away, but Horus changes his angles and then jumps over the corner to land on Bandido. 180 Frog Splash from Horus for 2. Bandido has to try and fire back up, and does so as he counters the rope run with a Single Arm Gorilla Press, into a Running Leg Lariat for 2.
Horus hits a Avalanche Satellite Tornado DDT, but the worst thing is it just looked too cooperative. Was it cool? Fucking yes. But it was just too much and looked kinda dumb at the same time. Outside-In Lifting Avalanche Vertical Suplex from Bandido onto Horus for a near fall. Pop Up Cutter is a little sloppy during the run, run continues as Horus hits his own Body Roll Cutter, then a double knockout kick takes us to a 9 count (in Spanish) and a double sit up ala Kane and Taker.
I’ll be honest, if I shut my brain off and just watched, it’s definitely entertaining and fun. But the match has been one hell of a mess at many points. Popping Satellite DDT from Horus gives him another 2 count. Horus goes to the top, Bandido cuts him off, Benadryller from Bandido, 21Plex for the win!
I can give it a 3 for entertainment value, but holy hell was it a mess.
Moose gives an interviewing denying being in cahoots with Maclin again, but Sami attacks Moose and the fight is continuing. Moose is now mad so he adds himself into this crazy brawl. D’lo finally calls in security to stop the brawl in general. SCOTT D’AMORE music hits! Scott makes it a NODQ Anything Goes match, but Moose is barred from Ringside.
Steve Maclin vs Sami Callihan (con’t)
Sami smashes Maclin’s head into the steel steps and takes a bow after the bell officially rings. Maclin is busted open and Sami is relishing in this whole situation until Maclin moves near the guardrail, Callihan gets put in the Tree of Woe and Caught in the Crosshairs on the guardrail! Suplex and then Maclin lands a Knee Drop from the apron right onto Callihan’s face.
Maclin pulls out 3 chairs and a Swiffer, Chicago pops for the Swiffer. Maclin asks if they want it…and then he throws it away, flips them off and grabs a chair to a chorus of Boos. Small “We Want Swiffer” chant but Maclin eats a T-Bone Suplex into the chair. Sami Sabu’s a chair into Maclin’s face. Another chair, another Sabu, but this time he gets the pony because it wraps around Maclin’s head like a necklace.
Thumbs Up, Thumbs…nope Low Blow. Maclin goes to down driving a chair into Sami’s ribs. Maclin grabs an equipment case with Wire Cutters, Zip Ties, Cables…it’s a box of goodies. K.I.A. from Maclin and Maclin refuses to end the match like that. He’s psyching up and looking to Zip Tie Callihan. Low Mule Kick gives Callihan the advantage. Sabu the chair a third time, “My Balls, your balls” and Sami just stomps the shit out of Maclin’s balls. Deonna is gonna be very upset with Sami after this match.
Sami goes for the Zip Ties on Maclin and has him with his hands tied behind his back. Maclin stays defiant to the end, spits at Callihan, Cactus Driver ’97, and Sami wins.
Honor No More (Mike Bennett, Matt Taven, Vincent, PCO & Eddie Edwards w/Maria) vs Bullet Club (Doc Gallows, Karl Anderson, Hikuleo, Ace Austin, Chris Bey)
It goes without saying that Honor No More should remain, plus with Bullet Club randomly using Hikuleo who hasn’t been on Impact television since GoD was still part of BC, he’s probably the fall guy. Even Vincent has more worth to Impact right now than Hikuleo.
Bell rings and we get an ole 10 man donnybrook. Just slugfests and a few people get thrown out piece by piece before starting to pair up and then take the neutral corners. Good Brothers are double teaming Vincent early, but OGK slide into interrupt it. Gallows hits the Double Lariat to try and slow things down, but Gallows is in pain after his PCO match 2 weeks ago. Eddie cuts off someone, Bey and Ace double team Eddie to give BC a short advantage before Vincent comes back to life.
Big Triangle Kick from Ace wipes out Vincent. Ace of Beyse stand tall until they try and go after PCO, now they have problems. PCO and Hikuleo have their monster face off. One of Hikuleo’s strikes are worth about 3 of PCOs. Hikuleo dumps out PCO, Bey launches off of Hikuleo and takes out most of the HNM members. Hikuleo is about to dive, but Taven cuts him off just to get Yeeted into a pile of bodies. Ace hits a Diving Fold on a climbs Taven, into most of the dudes.
Weapons come out, and more chants for the Swiffer to return. We have hit clusterfuck level for this match. 10 people is bad enough, little to no referee control, weapons and showboating to different camera cuts. Not a bad thing per se, but definitely makes things messier and easier to turn into garbage. Funny camera cut has Eddie Edwards crotching Ace with the ring post. Just revenge for when he tried to bang his wife. OGK has been doing a lot of the in ring work, but with trying to keep attention across 10 people, it’s just too much to watch. PCO misses the PCO-sault and Gallows drags him up the ramp just to eat Double Superkicks from OGK.
They drag Gallows into the crowd, we have no clue what else is going on, but Gallows fights back as PCO gets back up to his feet. Gallows and PCO fight amongst the people, Gallows tosses PCO over a second floor railing and into the Shadow Realm or something. Technically it’s 4v5 for now. Vincent Redrum’s Gallows through a table. So…someone is dead there. Eddie grabs Kenny and beats Karl with Kenny. Something oddly specific about that, but Gallows gets back up with the adrenaline surge, throws some fists and garbage cans before crumpling down. Gallows arm gives out for the Magic Killer, they wipe out Anderson, Taven hits the Climax on Gallows into a garbage can and Honor No More win!
The match totally fell apart, PCO getting sent to the Shadow Realm was a pop that didn’t really do anything aside from pop the crowd. Bey, Ace and Hikuleo weren’t really seen for the last 5 minutes of the match, at least. So yeah, over booked, sloppy, but…God dammit it was fun and the right team won.
Knockouts World Championship: Jordynne Grace (c) vs Mia Yim
Both women go for an almost Japanese Junior style of stalemate wrestling. No real power advantage from either, not strikes thrown, both are just looking for leverage and opportunities. Poor Mia tries to anticipate a Leap Frog and eats the Manhattan Drop into Low Dropkick and then a Bridging Suplex for 1. Mia slides around with a trip, Low Dropkick of her own, Hesitation Dropkick, Jordynne powders and then Mia goes after her with a dive. Slides her back in for a 1 count.
Mia is getting a little cocky with the Snap Kicks. Jordynne tries to Suplex out of Mia’s offense, but Mia body scissors and locks in a Guillotine. It takes Jordynne a hot minute to power through the Guillotine to suplex counter it. Jordynne tried to Sunset Bomb, but Mia does a great job fighting it. Kicks her legs, holds the ropes, really looks like she’s trying not to go over, but eventually falls victim. Slow rise, and strike spot. Mia trades a few Forearms, then starts responding with Round Kicks. Jordynne keeps popping up, they trade, Sole Butt, Kawada Kicks and Jordynne shoves Mia a bit too hard so she falls into the ropes instead of bouncing off right, but it doesn’t look awful.
Jordynne goes for a Muta Lock of all things, I didn’t know she could do that, though I feel like she pulled it off once before, it’s still not something she does a lot. Mia counters and they have one another in Reverse Chinlocks and just slap the hell out of each other. It takes a headbutt from Mia to actually cause a recovery spot for both. Step Through Tornado DDT from Mia, for 2.
Classic Tornado attempt, held on, Muscle Buster from Jordynne, but Mia kicks out! They fight to the top turnbuckle, Mia gets the best, Avalanche Code Blue for…2.9! Nice reference back to her Jade days. Locomotion Cradles, Eat Defeat counter, Protect Ya Neck counter and Jordynne turns it into a Grace Driver for the pinfall victory!
Masha’s music hits right before Mia and Jordynne shake hands and she hands a death warrant to Jordynne Grace. I wasn’t sure if they’d sky rocket Masha to the top…so now we see if she stays as a Wrecking Machine or if Grace knocks her down a peg.
IMPACT World Heavyweight Championship: Josh Alexander (c) vs Alex Shelley
GIVE ME AN ALEX SHELLEY WIN! You can’t steal my Cheerios! Just let me mark out a let you jerks!
Josh and Alex start slow, the normal feeling out style, but as Josh tries to apply his power, Alex grinds in a headlock and keeps things slow. A few quick strikes, Frakensteiner, Josh’s head gear fell off and Alex has a little fun.
Inverted Indian Deathlock as Alex claws at Josh’s face just rubbing in the advantageous position. Alex ducks into the ropes to break the Arm Wringer, Josh didn’t so he ducked back in to use the rope to trap Josh’s arm and get in a cheap but clever kick. Josh evens things up after a few run through Shoulder Tackles since Josh is really focusing on Alex’s left arm. Now Josh is finally grabbing at the legs, which makes more sense.
Gory Special into a backslide for a quick count and then Shelley keeps a few precision strikes at Josh’s arm to soften him up for the Border City Stretch. Naciente into a Border City attempt, but he couldn’t quite lock it in. Alex is enjoying going after the different injuries that he made sure Josh knew he was aware of, so Josh retaliates with that Low Diving Crossbody.
Knees, Hamstrings and Dragon Screw attacks from Alex as he’s really trying to dissect the champion. He could be trying to do too much, but it’s smart. Seated Cloverleaf into a Koji Kimura Lock combination. Alex is putting on a clinic at the moment. Rolling Elbow shades of Kotaro Suzuki in how he did it. Josh almost starts a comeback but Alex stifles it.
Power Struggle in the middle, but Josh eventually pulls off the Fisherman’s Suplex as they both take a beat to recover. Alex tries to stop the onslaught of Haymakers, but just gets molly whopped. Exploder Suplex from Josh sends Shelley to the center, Josh goes for a King Kong Knee Drop and misses. Shelley lays out Josh with a Tornado DDT, goes to the top, shrugs, Frog Splash for 2 and then Josh hooks the Ankle Lock but Alex gets to the rope.
After this point I just got engrossed and watched instead of typed. This was a hell of a match. Needs to be searched out by anyone who enjoys great wrestling and in-ring story telling.
Overall Score: 8/10
So there was something charming about this show, even if it started with one of my least favorite wrestlers in all of wrestling. The match that turned into a brawl for like an hour than finally a NoDQ match was VERY old school TNA and I enjoyed the camp of the situation. It was definitely an oddly paced show with a few consecutive segments of non-wrestling and just gimmick or interview, but the last few matches saved things for me.
Lucha in general is a car crash style of wrestling that I’m very hot and cold on, but when it’s done well, it’s fucking beautiful. Bandido versus Rey Horus, was more like Jersey Shore. I can’t stop watching the awful situations, but I leave amused and feeling okay about myself; so I suppose generally positive outcome. Back to back hardcore matches are usually bad booking, but Maclin was committed to his match and that made it beautiful; while the Honor No More match was a mess, but checked enough “sports entertainment” boxes to be more than just a correct finish. Jordynne and Mia worked their assess off, there were just a couple clunky spots that stopped me from getting totally hype. And of course, the Shelley vs Alexander match was actually objectively fantastic. While I loved Sabin vs Shelley, there was definitely nostalgia and general marking out for both of them going on; I would put this match against anything else in anyone’s MOTY pool.
The wrong guy won, but damn was it a fantastic match. Solid PPV, started slow, but when it picked up, it went at the speed of a freight train. Good stuff.
Down The Wire: A Piece of Idaho w/ Gianna Cefalu
Tom and Dave are joined by KLEW TV Reporter, formerly of the PAC-12, Gianna Cefalu.
Down The Wire: NBA Scout Mike Vandegarde
On this week's episode of DTW, Tom and Dave are joined by former Philadelphia 76ers Scout, Mike Vadegarde.
Down The Wire: Former Zappers QB Jason Stewart
Tom and Dave have a new guest joining Down The Wire and it's the former QB from the Zappers, Jason...
Down The Wire: Sell Josh Hader & Wisconsin’s State Fair Top 10 New Foods
Tom and Dave get very local on this new episode of Down The Wire, from sports to food to the...
Down The Wire: Disappointments and Baker Mayfield
Tom and Dave have a big episode planned for number 75! But then all hell breaks loose...
Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu Results & Report! (8/13/22)
So! Much! Gold!
New Force Order – A Star Wars Podcast: Thief In Space
It's an fresh New Force Order episode, looking at what Mark Hamill stole from the Star Wars set, and commonalities...
Chairshot Radio: The 5×5 Bond Tunes
With Dave Ungar unable to record an episode of Musical Chairs, Patrick O’Dowd welcomes Aesop Mitchell back for another edition...
Bandwagon Nerds #143: HBO Maximum Shake Up
The entertainment world was shaken up this week as the first true ramifications of the Warner Brothers and Discovery+ merger...
Home Is Where Hallmark Is: Time to Fall Into Love with the August Line-Up, and Westcott Bay Series Book 2!
Summer comes to a close and it's time to Fall Into Love as Home Is Where Hallmark Is previews August...
Mitchell’s NJPW G1 Climax 32 Results & Report! (8/13/22)
Breathe with the Switchblade!
DWI Podcast #336: The Nose Job
This week we give our thoughts on the progressions of Liv Morgan as Women's Champion and Triple H as the...
Andrew’s IMPACT Emergence Results & Match Ratings: 8.12.2022
ALEX SHELLEY VS JOSH ALEXANDER! CHAMPIONSHIP! TONIGHT! 'NUFF SAID!
Mitchell’s AEW Rampage Results & Report! (8/12/22)
Rampage by the Lake!
Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (8/12/22)
Retro Greg DeMarco Show: Ranking The Championships In Pro Wrestling
Retro GDMS exactly two years ago...to the day! Enjoy this listing of wrestling's Most Important Championships!
Mindless Wrestling Podcast: WWE Talent Rehires, Transformers 36th Anniversary and much more!
Sometimes you win by losing, and that's the theme of this week's Mindless Wrestling Podcast! Talent is returning to WWE....
Andrew’s IMPACT Results & Match Ratings: 8.11.2022
Emergence is tomorrow! How does IMPACT finish setting things for that card?
Mitchell’s WWE NXT UK Results & Report! (8/11/22)
A new chapter begins!
Mitchell’s AEW Dynamite Results & Report! (8/10/22)
MOX VS JERICHO 2!
Opinion6 days ago
AJ’s Thoughts: Five Potential Returns
Coverage5 days ago
Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (8/8/22)
Entertainment6 days ago
Home Is Where Hallmark Is: Time to Fall Into Love with the August Line-Up, and Westcott Bay Series Book 2!
Entertainment7 days ago
Talk the Keki – An Anime Podcast: Isekai Ojisan Debuts, Devil is a Part-Timer And Other Summer Shows