Connect with us

Coverage

Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (3/16/20)

If you’re ready for 3:16 Day, gimme a “Hell Yeah!”

Published

on

NEW Raw coverage

Stone Cold returns to Raw!

The glass shatters as the Texas Rattlesnake, Steve Austin, returns to Monday Night Raw! What will good ol’ Stone Cold do on 3:16 Day?

If you are seeing this anywhere else, a bot has copied it. Please report it.

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • From the Royal Rumble: The 2020 Men’s Royal Rumble Match.
  • Empty Arena match: Rey Mysterio VS Andrade Almas w/ Zelina Vega; Mysterio wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Raw is also in the Performance Center!

Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton and Jerry “The King” Lawler welcome us to the show from the ring. Due to circumstances, there is no audience, but the superstars will still be here to entertain! As will Stone Cold Steve Austin to celebrate 3:16 Day!

But first, we look back to just last week, in reference to how heated things have become between AJ Styles and The Undertaker. Specifically, that heated speech from AJ Styles about Taker and his real-life wife, Michelle McCool. “Your wife is going to run you into the ground,” Taker, and Styles wants to help her. Styles vows to take Taker’s soul at WrestleMania! That brings us to tonight, as Styles and Taker will be face to face, to sign a contract and make their match official! Taker, Austin and… “You think you know me.” EDGE is here already!! The Rated R Superstar gave fair warning and now he heads for the ring!

Edge gets a mic for himself and says, “It’s been a strange few months for my wife Beth and I.” Footage rolls to replay Edge’s most recent return, enraged by what Randy Orton did not only to him, but to Matt Hard, and to Beth Phoenix. MVP did not remedy the situation by talking trash to him, so Edge gave MVP a SPEAR! The Viper tried to get Edge first, but Edge gave ORTON the RKO! But before he could return the Conchairtos, Orton ran away. So MVP got an arm triangle that then led to MVP taking an RKO onto a chair, and taking the infamous chair shot in Orton’s place!

Back to the present, Edge says this is “a long time coming.” When Cowboy Bob introduced them 21 years ago, something in Edge’s gut told him that their lives were going to change. The WWE Intercontinental Championship, Rated RKO going after Degeneration X, and so much more. All the travels, all the stories, all the commonalities like hating the same people and owing the same person their opportunities. That man was Mick Foley. Foley pushed them to be the best they could be. They reached those heights, but there was something Edge learned that Orton didn’t. It is called grit. The grit Edge needed to stand up after 9 years, neck surgeries, wrist surgeries, everything to get back to the ring.

Edge and Orton are alike except in one way. Orton is still an “entitled brat.” Orton may be one of the best ever to do this, but it was handed to him on a silver platter. When daddy Bob brought Orton to that live event back in the day, he handed this to Orton. “And it kills you.” It makes Orton jealous that a guy outta nowhere worked so hard and got to the same place! Edge didn’t have anything handed to him! He was raised by a single parent! A woman who broke her back supporting Edge’s dream so it’d come true! And it did. Orton was jealous of Edge making his return and eliminating him. That’s what this is about. Not love, but envy. Orton is jealous because he can’t do what Edge does and that tears him up!

So two weeks ago, Beth comes out to give a medical update. What no one realizes is that Beth was going to give Edge’s second retirement speech. She didn’t think it was fair that someone should have to live through this again. But Orton couldn’t let her get to it, could he? All those years Edge pulled Orton out of horrible decision after horrible decision, and Orton just pulled Edge out of. It was the hole Orton dug for Edge. Orton stopped Edge from making his own horrible decision. Edge says it’s very simple. At WrestleMania, if Orton has the guts, “It’s Edge VS Orton, in a Last Man Standing match!” This is not a story Orton dictates or writes, this is Edge’s story! And it won’t be a tragedy. This is a redemption story. And at WrestleMania, Orton won’t get back up.

 

From the Royal Rumble: The 2020 Men’s Royal Rumble Match!

Raw gives you THE match that set us down the path to our WrestleMania main event for the WWE World Championship!

What made this year’s Men’s Rumble so different was that the reigning, defending, undisputed WWE World Heavyweight Champion, BRRROCK! LESNARRR! Will start us off! He and Heyman make their way out to the ring, and are joined by entry #2. And ladies and gentlemen, it’s ELIAS!

The Drifter makes his way out, playing his guitar, and says “Houston, we have a problem.” Elias says there is a brain-dead gorilla and his fat zookeeper walking around. But there is an undeniable truth that everyone surely knows. And that is WWE really stands for Walk With Elias! Elias hears the fans singing for him Seven Nation Army style, and Elias wants Lesnar to hear it all. Elias sings for Lesnar a little song, “Sacrificial Lamb.” Please, clap along. Houston does and Elias begins. “The sacrificial lamb is headed to the ring. But before I do, I’ve got one more song to sing. Brock Lesnar’s pacing, he’s ready to attack. Heyman, keep your damn mouth shut or I’ll smash a guitar on your back.”

Lesnar is annoyed and goes after Elias! There is a brawl before the Rumble, and then things end up in the ring! Lesnar gets Elias down and hammers away! He gets Elias in a corner and rams his shoulder in! Elias tries to fight back but Lesnar waistlocks for a German Suplex! Suplex City is already here! Elias sits up but Lesnar looms over him. Heyman hands Lesnar the guitar and Lesnar SMASHES it on Elias! Lesnar drags Elias up and throw shim out, Lesnar ELIMINATES Elias! That’s one for one, and Heyman rubs it in by holding up the world title. Lesnar just rests as the countdown begins. Entrant #3: Erick Rowan! Big Red has been on a rampage of sorts, and he puts his pet on the ring steps. Lesnar is ready and Rowan rushes the ring.

Rowan denies the suplex once, but then Lesnar clotheslines Rowan out and ELIMINATES him! Fans can’t believe how easily The Beast dealt with Big Red! It almost doesn’t seem fair to Rowan, but he takes his pet and leaves. Lesnar encourages fans to make nose as we get #4: the GLORIOUS Robert Roode! Roode did a lot of work tonight already in trying to help King Corbin, but there doesn’t look to be an help in return. Roode takes his time preparing for Lesnar, then runs in and dodgse to throw hands. Lesnar kicks and whips but Roode boots back. Roode runs into a LARIAT! Lesnar gets annoyed now and he hoists Roode up, F5! Lesnar drags Roode up to throw him out and ELIMINATE him! Three already, and he waits for the countdown. It’s here that Raw decides to take a break.

Raw returns and entrant #5 is JOHN MORRISON! The Guru of Greatness is back in the Rumble, but he and Lesnar are throwing boots already! Lesnar grabs Morrison to OVERHEAD SUPLEX and ELIMINATE Morrison already! Lesnar holds up his title for himself just to gloat. The countdown returns and gives us #6: The New Day’s Kofi Kingston! Kingston lost in less than 10 seconds for Lesnar to become world champion. Can Kofi last longer in this match? Kofi runs in, dodges and mule kicks! And throws fast hands! Fans are fired up but Lesnar puts Kofi in a corner! And then throws him around! Kofi gets to another corner but Lesnar is on him with a German Suplex! To think that’s only the second one of those in this match. Lesnar takes his time with Kofi now, grinning as he brings Kofi up.

Lesnar rams Kofi into a corner but the countdown brings us #7: Rey Mysterio! And given the Batman inspired gear, you know Mysterio is here for vengeance of his own! Lesnar keeps an eye on Kofi as Mysterio marches to the ring. Mysterio hops in, throws kicks and forearms, then runs to slide under and dropkick low! Lesnar stays up to shove Mysterio down hard! Lesnar whips Mysterio into Kofi and then brings them both up. Lesnar double whips them to double clothesline! Lesnar catches his breath while smiling. Lesnar lifts and German Suplexes Mysterio! That’s the third one. Lesnar stalks Kofi and brings him, the fourth German Suplex! Lesnar doesn’t even seem to care that the countdown brings out #8: Big E!

Kofi and Mysterio flop out of the ring but under the ropes, so they’re safe. Big E hurries out to help both men up. The three of them decide to unite against their common enemy! Fans are fired up for that, too! Lesnar fights but that’s 3v1! They throw hands, he shoves them away, TROUBLE IN PARADISE! Big E scoops Lesnar, for the BIG ENDING! And Lesnar’s on the ropes, 619!! Lesnar is still in the ring, Big E rams him! Mysterio uses Big E for Poetry in Motion, but he gets caught and tossed! Lesnar ELIMINATES Mysterio! Lesnar uses Big E as a step, BEAST in Motion to clobber Kofi! Big E gets up, but Lesnar dodges to clothesline and ELIMINATE him! Lesnar looms over Kofi, drags him up, and gives him an F5 to ELIMINATE him! Houston is shocked and even disgusted that Lesnar is doing all this. And again, Raw goes to break.

Raw returns as the countdown brings out #9: Cesaro! The Swiss Cyborg shows no hesitation and Lesnar likes that. Cesaro dodges, throws European Uppercut after uppercut! Lesnar knees low then throws more knees to standard suplex Cesaro. Clothesline, Lesnar ELIMINATES Cesaro! Lesnar gets to gloat again as we wait for the countdown. We’re one-third of the way with #10: Shelton Benjamin! An old friend, oddly enough. Heyman even shakes hands and hugs Benjamin to celebrate this reunion. Benjamin and Lesnar do shake hands and hug it out, because Benjamin is going to be Team Heyman! But then Lesnar GERMAN SUPLEXES and CLOTHESLINES Benjamin to ELIMINATE him! There are no friends in the Rumble!

Lesnar relaxes as the countdown starts again. We get #11: Shinsuke Nakamura! The then WWE Intercontinental Champion has won a Rumble already, but will he even get close this time? Nakamura gets in, dodges Lesnar and fires off a strike fest! The knees and the roundhouse rock Lesnar! But no Kinshasa, Lesnar lifts, throws and ELIMINATES Nakamura! Even the King of Strong Style was apparently “too easy” for The Beast. The countdown returns and brings #12: MVP! Montel Vontavius Porter is back in a shout out to Black Panther, but is his return to the WWE going to go well? MVP chases Heyman for some reason, but Lesnar grabs MVP first! MVP hotshots Lesnar and throws hands! And a throat chop! But Lesnar kicks, lifts, and hits another F5!

Lesnar was having fun but no more, as he throws out and ELIMINATES MVP! An astounding and upsetting ELEVEN eliminations as we get to #13: KEITH LEE!! The Limitless One and NXT North American Champion looks to make all of Houston #BaskInHisGlory! Fans are thunderous and even Lesnar has to take a step back. Lesnar and Lee stare down, but then Lesnar throws big knees. Lesnar whips, Lee reverses and they collide. Lee runs to run Lesnar over! Lesnar is shocked! Lee corner splashes, rolls and forearms Lesnar! Lee whips Lesnar corner to corner but Lesnar comes back, double clotheslines collide! Lee is the first man to get Lesnar down, and fans are thunderous as we get #14: BRAUN!! The Monster Among Men looks to capitalize as he finally gets after Lesnar again!

Lesnar is gasping as Strowman runs in to corner splash! But Strowman hits Lee, too, then comes back for Lesnar! Strowman SHOTGUN DROPKICKS Lee! Lee falls out under the bottom rope so he is safe, but then fans want to see Strowman take a lap! Strowman pleases his fans as he goes out the bottom rope to run Lee over! And then he gets in to still run Lesnar over! Strowman drags Lesnar up and scoops, but Lesnar slips out to German Suplex! Five suplexes, and now a sixth for Lee! Seventh for Strowman! Eighth for Lee! Lesnar gets back at them both, but he tires himself out for it.

Strowman and Lee stand first, being fresher, but they encounter each other. They stare down and start throwing hands! Lesnar ELIMINATES them both!! THIRTEEN!! Lesnar is sneaky as he is strong, and Raw goes to break before the halfway point.

Raw returns with entrant#15: Ricochet! The One and Only is the Red Robin as he runs into the ring and springboards! Crossbody, but he’s caught! Lesnar gives Ricochet a backbreaker, only because he didn’t have the energy for an F5. Lesnar reminds Ricochet that he’s still not scared, and uses a German Suplex to do it! That’s nine, and Lesnar grins again. But the countdown returns and brings #16: DREW MCINTYRE! The Scottish Stud has wanted after a world championship, and he gets his chance to make his case. Lesnar stares down with McIntyre, no longer considering Ricochet a factor. McIntyre calls out the “Son of a b*tch” and dares him to fight. Lesnar takes off the gloves because a fight is what we’re getting.

Ricochet LOW BLOWS and then McIntyre CLAYMORES Lesnar! They ELIMINATE LESNAR!! Houston is ELECTRIC as Lesnar finally pays for the crap he’s given everyone else! Now it’s McIntyre who grins as he’s the one looking down on The Beast. But then Ricochet missile dropkicks McIntyre! Standing shooting star! But McIntyre catches Ricochet! To throw and ELIMINATE Ricochet! And then McIntyre goes back to staring at Lesnar. The countdown returns and we get #17: The Miz! The Rumble gets even more Awesome now, and hopes to sneak in while McIntyre is staring at Lesnar. McIntyre dodges and Future Shocks Miz!

McIntyre stares at Lesnar again before giving us his own countdown. Miz rises to get a CLAYMORE! McIntyre throws and ELIMINATES Miz! Lesnar finally stands up and McIntyre just stares at him. Houston mocks Lesnar with “Hey~ hey~ hey~! Good-bye~!” Lesnar tells McIntyre this isn’t over, but Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again as the countdown brings us to entry #18: AJ Styles! The Phenomenal One also has a bone to pick with McIntyre as he returns to the Rumble. McIntyre and Styles start throwing hands, and then McIntyre puts Styles in a corner. Styles dodges, McIntyre puts him on the apron but Styles hits back. McIntyre gets under the springboard to avoid the forearm. Styles kicks away on McIntyre’s leg then runs, into a big shoulder! McIntyre drags Styles up to dead lift suplex! Styles fights free, goes after the leg, Calf Crusher! The countdown brings #19: Dolph Ziggler! The Show-Off hurries to take advantage now that McIntyre isn’t alone. These two also have beef, Styles chop blocks McIntyre!

Ziggler scrapes laces on McIntyre’s face, and he mugs McIntyre with Styles’ help. But then Ziggler DECKS Styles! McIntyre THROWS Ziggler across the ring! McIntyre is mad now as he brings Ziggler up to CHOP! And CHOPS Styles, too! The countdown brings #20: Karl Anderson! The OC goes after McIntyre with big hands! Ziggler hangs back as Styles and Anderson both get caught! SUPERKICK takes McIntyre down! Ziggler tries to get McIntyre over, and the OC help out. But then they go after Ziggler as payback for a moment ago, SPINE BUSTER! The OC go after the Show-Off and McIntyre but that’s easier said than down. Ziggler skins the cat but Anderson is on him with stomps.

The countdown brings #21: EDGE!?! The Royal Rumble just got Rated R!! Even Edge seems shocked he’s back in action, and he’s not going to let this moment slip away. Edge gets in to SPEAR Ziggler! And SPEAR Anderson! Edge whips McIntyre to a corner to then hit a running knee smash and a SPEAR! Edge and Styles stare down, and Houston is losing its mind over a moment we thought we’d never get. Styles fires off a Phenomenal Blitz but Edge kicks low. Styles PELES and Edge goes to a corner. Styles whips corner to corner but Edge stops himself to SPEAR Styles! Houston goes wild for Edge as Raw goes to break again.

Raw returns and the countdown brings us #22: Baron Corbin! The Wolf King comes back to redeem himself, and Ziggler is already after Edge. Corbin and his court (jester) go after Edge while Anderson goes after McIntyre. Anderson goes after Corbin but gets the Choke Slam Backbreaker! Corbin throws Anderson but Anderson stays on the apron. Corbin throws hands on Styles while McIntyre CHOPS Ziggler! Edge has Anderson but Corbin goes after Edge. Ziggler holds on for his life and Corbin saves him. Anderson uppercuts McIntyre, Edge throws and ELIMINATES Styles! Again, even Edge seems a bit surprised, but he hangs back as we get #23: “Bro…” Matt Riddle is here! And Riddle takes his time getting in and kicking off the flip-flops.

Riddle kicks Corbin then McIntyre then Anderson! McIntyre focuses on McIntyre with Bro Kicks! Then the Bro-Saw! Edge runs in, but gets a Final Flash! But Corbin throws and ELIMINATES Riddle! Corbin mocks the Bro special, but then goes after Edge. We already get #24: Luke Gallows! The Good Brothers are united in this match against Corbin! Big boots all around and then Gallows rains hands on Ziggler! Corbin drags Edge up but Edge throws hands, too! Edge runs into a DEEP SIX! But McIntyre throws and ELIMINATES Corbin! The King is shocked but the OC go after McIntyre! They mug McIntyre before going after Edge. Nostalgia gets MAGIC KILLER!

But now we have #25: Randy Orton! The Viper is another enemy of the OC, but there’s a certain something else that could be happening here… Orton gets in and gives Gallows and RKO! Then an RKO for Anderson! It’s RATED RKO, for that matter, as they both ELIMINATE the OC! Orton still can’t believe Edge is back, even seeing it in person. Edge looks great to Orton. Oh the irony in retrospect as Raw goes to break.

Raw returns as Rated RKO go after McIntyre and Ziggler. But now entry #22 arrives. It’s Roman Reigns! The Big Dog is back and doesn’t have to worry about Corbin now. McIntyre fights off Edge but Roman is right on him with uppercuts! Uppercut for Orton, uppercut for Ziggler, SPEAR! Roman throws Ziggler out and ELIMINATES him! The King’s Court is completely cleared out, and Roman gives McIntyre a buckle bump. McIntyre blocks the next one to give it to Roman, and then more and more! McIntyre CHOPS Roman, but Roman shrugs it off. Roman ROCKS McIntyre with the uppercut, and we get #27: Kevin Owens! The Prizefighter rushes the ring to go after McIntyre with fast hands, then a clothesline for Orton!

Kevin skips Edge to CANNONBALL Roman! Then he CANNONBALLS Edge anyway. McIntyre runs in, into a POP-UP BOMB! Roman is up to get a SUPERKICK and thrown. Roman avoids the bomb but not the STUNNER! But Kevin forgets Orton! Or does he? STUNNER for Orton! Kevin is on Edge as we get #28: Aleister Black! Could the Embodiment of the End come out headed for gold? Aleister picks a fight with Kevin and throws hands, but Kevin CHOPS him back. Kevin whips, Aleister moonsaults but Kevin ducks, only to get a boot! Edge waistlocks, Aleister standing switches and shoves Edge to knee him down. McIntyre is on Aleister with a Glasgow Kiss headbutt!

McIntyre aims from a corner, but runs into a BLACK MASS! Aleister goes after Kevin in a corner, but Kevin fights back. Roman hobbles over to Kevin but gets hands. Orton stomps McIntyre as we get #29: Samoa Joe! The understanding between Joe and Kevin is going to be put to the test, but Joe puts Aleister to the test with fists and kicks! Aleister BOOTS back! Aleister runs in, Joe dodges, Aleister elbows back but Joe PELES! McIntyre lifts Orton but Orton slips out. Kevin CANNONBALLS Aleister to help Joe. But then the two allies mutually decide to throw hands with each other! Kevin runs, into an atomic drop! Joe BOOTS Kevin down, but here comes #30: SETH ROLLINS! And The Monday Night Messiah doesn’t come alone, either, as he has Buddy Murphy and the Authors of Pain! Raw goes to break before all hell breaks loose.

Raw returns as Joe and Kevin see Rollins and his crew coming. Joe and Kevin decide to handle business. They go out under the ropes to go after all four! That’s a bit too much, and they get beat down. Rollins makes sure the AOP and Murphy are focused on the other men in the rumble. They drag Edge and Orton out from under to throw into barriers! And the announce desks! Rollins gives McIntyre a CURB STOMP! Rollins throws hands on Aleister, then looks at Roman. Old friendships mean nothing, mule kick to CURB STOMP! Rollins drags Roman up but Aleister kicks Rollins in the back! Aleister fires off hands but Rollins knees low. Aleister roundhouses Rollins then springboards, but Murphy trips him up! Murphy gets revenge on Aleister, and Rollins gives Aleister a mule kick! Rollins throws out and ELIMINATES Aleister!

Rollins drags Kevin up but Kevin hits a STUNNER! Kevin throws Rollins but the AOP catch him! Rollins is put in so Kevin goes after AOP! Akam and Rezar hold Kevin, Rollins throws and ELIMINATES Kevin! Joe gets the COQUINA CLUTCH! Rollins flails but Murphy enziguris! Joe gets mad and DECKS Murphy, but Rollins ELIMINATES Joe! The AOP add on but Aleister helps out. Kevin leaps in and now these six brawl to the ramp! Rollins shouts at his disciples but they’ve left. Now it’s just Rollins, Roman, McIntyre, Edge and Orton. And by that, we should say it’s Rollins VS Roman, McIntyre, Edge and Orton. Rollins tries to get Roman back on his side, showing the Shield fist bump. Roman gives Rollins a SUPERMAN PUNCH!

Edge drags Rollins up to whip into Orton’s spinning powerslam! McIntyre aims at Rollins, CLAYMORE! McIntyre takes Rollins to throw him out and ELIMINATE him! And now, we have our final four. It is here that Raw takes yet another break.

Raw returns as McIntyre, Orton, Edge and Roman take corners. Rated RKO coordinates, and they go after Roman and McIntyre with fists! McIntyre turns things around while Orton rams Roman into a post! Back2back backbreaker, and then Orton helps Edge with McIntyre. Fans chant “This is Awesome!” as McIntyre headbutts Orton. RKO OUTTA NOWHERE! Edge aims from the corner as McIntyre rises, SPEAR! Rated RKO coordinate again as they drag McIntyre up. They give McIntyre the DOUBLE RKO for old times’ sake. But then Orton coils and stalks Edge. Edge sees it just in time, so Orton just shrugs that he was just joking. But then Edge throws out and ELIMINATES Orton! The ultimate opportunist returns! Orton lets it slide, and now we have our final three.

Houston chants, “You Still Got It,” Edge! Edge and Roman stare down as two masters of the Spear, and they start throwing hands! Big uppercut and a SUPERMAN PUNCH from Roman! And speaking of Spears, Roman aims from the corner. Roman slowly rises, lets out the battle cry, but Edge jumps over the spear to GIVE the SPEAR! Edge brings Roman up and throws him out, but Roman hangs on! Edge builds speed but Roman avoids the shoulder to kick back. Roman drags Edge over the top and they’re both on the apron. They brawl on the edge, and even wobble. Roman uppercuts and ELIMINATES Edge! Fans boo, but McIntyre runs over. Roman punches back, then SUPERMAN PUNCH! Roman throws McIntyre but McIntyre blocks! McIntyre elbows Roman away, CLAYMORE!! McIntyre throws Roman out, and WINS!!

Winner: Drew McIntyre, at #16; will go to WrestleMania to challenge for a world championship

Finally! The unstoppable Scottish stallion has won the race! He has won the Royal Rumble! He has won a chance to go after a world championship! Lesnar did so much as #1, but it was Sweet Sixteen that shut him down. Will McIntyre take that title from The Beast?

 

Raw reports on the huge change to WrestleMania 36!

Circumstances being what they are around the world, the Showcase of the Immortals will still go on, but! For the sake of health and safety, WrestleMania must also be live from the WWE Performance Center with no audience. Fans can still watch on PPV and on the WWE Network, but this will surely be a historic event one way or another.

 

Jerry Lawler presides over this special contract signing.

King introduces first, The Undertaker! And given how the Phenomenal One called out the “broken down old man,” Taker is not his usual ominous self. But he does keep that power as he FLIPS the table!! And the chairs! Taker settles down and puts the table back upright as Raw goes to break.

Raw returns and Taker has completely cleared the ring of furniture. It seems there was no contract waiting for Taker, perhaps as part of AJ Styles’ plan. Styles makes his entrance now, or at least his music plays. Taker looks around and the music plays again. Styles seems to be toying with Taker and that only makes the Dead Man angrier. “Hey, Taker!” Styles and The OC talk via titantron. And Styles has the contract, but we’re here at the WWE PC now. A place where hundreds of young wrestlers come to train in hopes of becoming just like Taker. The OC didn’t need to come through here, though. But that doesn’t take away from the legend that is Taker! Taker is on the Mount Rushmore of Wrestlers!

But this is 2020, and Taker keeps interjecting himself into a world where fans would rather not see him anymore. You don’t see Michael Jordan trying to get back in the NBA Finals, do you? Or Peyton Manning and Brett Favre trying to show up at the Super Bowl! But you can sure as hell bet Taker does it every Mania season. Again, Styles knows whose fault that is: Michelle McCool! She dusts off his crusty old jacket and hat, then sends him down the ramp to embarrass himself. Taker, or better yet, Mark, you are a shell of your former self. Styles says those days are gone, so let them go! Something should telling Styles to take it easy on the old man, but Styles can’t find it. And that’s because Taker stuck his nose in OC business!

The Gauntlet at Super Showdown, Taker STOLE that trophy! Styles VS Aleister at Elimination Chamber, Taker cost Styles that one, too! So at WrestleMania, the lights might go off but Taker can’t hide. And Taker sure as hell can’t run. So when Mania ends, Styles will gladly pay for Taker’s assisted living bills. Because Styles will finally have Taker Rest… In… Peace. Styles signs on the dotted line. He asks Anderson and Gallows to deliver the contract to Taker. Why are they scared?! They’re the toughest guys in the building! Anderson takes it, and Gallows watches his back. Don’t back talk Uncle Allen!

Taker paces as he glares at the screen. The Good Brothers do their job, and make their entrance to the arena. Gallows and Anderson want Taker to take it easy, because this is all about the contract. Anderson approaches the ring with caution and puts the contract on the apron. He and Gallows get back, mission accomplished. Taker’s gong sounds and the lights go out! And when they come up, Taker’s behind the OC! And when they realize it, it’s already too late. Gallows and Anderson turn around, to get RAMMED into the apron! Taker throws hands then whips Anderson into steel steps! Taker throws more hands on Gallows until he’s sitting down! Styles is furious but he’s way in the back as Taker throws Anderson into barriers!

Taker STOMPS Anderson then drags him up to bring over to Gallows. And then he throws Gallows into barriers! Taker goes to the contract and signs his part. And he shoves it in Anderson’s mouth! Styles seethes but mostly because he’ll have to face the wrath of Mark Calaway at WrestleMania!

 

Rey Mysterio VS Andrade Almas w/ Zelina Vega!

The King of Lucha Libre still has many reasons to want after El Idolo! With WrestleMania still happening but under unique circumstances, can Mysterio get a big win on the WWE United States Champion before the Showcase of the Immortals arrives?

Also, Asuka joins commentary for whatever reason. Perhaps she’s just a big fan of Mysterio’s. Oh wait, she’s a fan of Vega and Andrade. Interesting. Well while she’s here, Phillips asks Asuka about her attack on Bliss-Cross from Friday Night SmackDown. Her response is in Japanese, but it amounts to Phillips being too stupid to understand that she wasn’t going to let Alexa and Nikki call her out. Asuka’s beef with Bliss-Cross aside, the bell rings and we get a new chapter in this already storied rivalry.

Mysterio drop toeholds Almas quick but Almas is up just as quick. Almas waistlocks, slams and stomps Mysterio around! Vega cheers Almas ringside as he hits a basement calf kick, and Asuka cheers Almas on through commentary with a lot of, “Yes! Nice!” Almas stalks up behind Mysterio and stomps him more. He drops an elbow and Mysterio writhes. “C’mon, Rey!” Almas drags Mysterio up to CHOP him to ropes. He whips but Mysterio kicks back! Mysterio CHOPS and CHOPS back to then acrobatically headscissor Almas away! Mysterio is put on the apron but he shoulders back in. Vega goes after Mysterio but Mysterio still kicks Almas away. Mysterio climbs and leaps but Almas dropkicks him out of the air! Almas covers, TWO! Almas catches his breath as Raw goes to break.

Raw returns and Almas has Mysterio in an inverted Gory Especial. Mysterio slips free and punches. Mysterio spins to headscissor Almas into a post! Alms tumbles out as Asuka shouts for Almas to keep trying! She’s just as frustrated as Vega right now while Mysterio and Almas are on the apron. Mysterio aims at Almas and springboards for a seated senton! Things keep moving, Mysterio headsicssors again! Almas sunset flips but Mysterio slips out to buzzsaw! Cover, TWO! Mysterio keeps his focus while Asuka shouts “GO! GO!” Mysterio springboards but Almas catches and spins him, for a suplex. But Mysterio slips out to drop toehold again! Dial it up, but boot feint to ELBOW! Cover, TWO!!

Asuka argues just as Vega does about the count, but Almas refocuses. Almas shouts at Mysterio that “I am the champion, Rey! You’re just a dog!” Snap suplex for uno amigo. Another for dos amigos. Asuka likes what she sees, as does Vega. Almas gloats but Mysterio escapes the third to headscissor! Dial it up, 619!! Mysterio climbs up fast and drops the dime, FROG SLASH! Mysterio wins!!

Winner: Rey Mysterio, by pinfall

The King of Lucha pins the WWE United States Champion! Asuka is just as upset as Vega that El Idolo lost! But will we get yet another rematch between these two come Mania?

 

The Man heads to the ring!

Raw Women’s Champion, Becky Lynch, waited all night and now has her time to speak. “Shayna, this one’s for you because I know you’re watching, I know you’re listening, I know you’re lasering in on me.” It’s because Becky’s existence annoys her. Becky being champion confuses Shayna. Shayna has been taught and trained that he can bully his way to the top. She did it for two straight years on NXT. Oh, turns out Shayna is watching backstage.

Becky continues to say that when Shayna got to Raw, she sees “this loud ginger absolute legend of an Irish woman,” and it makes her question the natural order. As long as Becky is champ, Shayna’s whole world is a lie. But Becky will explain this so that even “an animal scumbag” can understand. Becky is the one that was hunted and got tired of it. She is the prey that killed the predator. Don’t make the same mistake as the others, Shayna. Ever word, action, Tweet, interview, it is all to make Shayna think what Becky wants her to think. Shayna can have her mouth guard and her cold, dead eyes. She can tear through the others on the roster, but even Shayna knows Becky is a different thing altogether, and that frustrates Shayna and her “little buddies.”

Becky wants Shayna to do something that Shayna would never do: think. And think of how it will feel when she loses. Becky saw Shayna demolish the field at Elimination Chamber and it work her up. But WrestleMania will be Becky exposing Shayna’s life as a lie, and it’ll hit her… like a truck. The Queen of Spades is seething while The Man confidently heads out. Who breaks who when they stand on the Grandest Stage of Them All?

 

Backstage interview with Kevin Owens.

The Prizefighter knows Seth Rollins awaits his answer to the challenge of any match, any time, any place. Has Kevin made a decision on those stipulations? He has, actually. He takes the mic for his own to speak. “Seth, I know you’re watching. I know you’ve been waiting for an answer for awhile, so let me give it directly to you.” Of course Kevin accepts the challenge. But ever since the challenge was issued, Kevin wondered what to do about it. After today’s news, Kevin has his answer. “It’s going to happen at the Performance Center.” There’s no better place for it. For months, Seth has had the advantage. His goons, disciples, call them what you want. They got the better of Kevin.

But in the PC, Kevin has the advantage. Rollins never spent much time in the PC, but Kevin started his WWE career right in this building! Kevin went through the hardest experience of his career: the WWE Tryout. Many people told Kevin that he’d never make it, that he wasn’t a WWE guy. But one of the people who said that was Rollins. Rollins said it even as Kevin got signed, and Rollins said it again just a few months ago. Kevin made great memories in the PC. He met people that are unforgettable. But when Kevin and Rollins face each other, another memory will be added when Kevin beats Rollins in the place he earned his place in the WWE! And it’ll be part of WRESTLEMANIA!

 

Stone Cold finally returns to Raw!

“The Greatest of All Time”, the Texas Rattlesnake, Steve Austin goes right to the ring, and there’s still someone out there to throw him some beers. Stone Cold does his signature toast and even does a beer angel real quick on the mat. Austin gets a mic to say he blew himself up on his entrance. It’s a unique night and Austin is honored to be with us through our TV screens. Austin came out here to give a declaration. “I wanna declare that from here on out, the 16th day of March is a national holiday.” If you wanna know what this day is about, gimme a hell yeah. Oh wait, there’s no one here. Saxton gives him one, though! “What.” “HEEEEEEELL YEAH~!” Thanks, Byron..

But here is what 3:16 Day is all about. “3:16 Day is when someone gives you a load of crap, you give it back to them by simply giving a certain hand gesture with one finger.” Byron gives Austin an 8/10 for some reason. Austin appreciates that. “3:16 Day is…” Oh wait that’s upside down. It’s a day when you can open a can of whoop-ass on anybody you want. Wait that only gets a 6? Is that upside-down, too? “3:16 Day is when the speed limit is only a suggestion.” A 10! Nice. We can skip three cards and go to, “3:16 Day is a day when you don’t give a damn, Happy Hour is 24 hours long, and when you burp, it’s considered poetry.” A nine from Byron.

Stone Cold gets his other cards back and reads them off. “3:16 Day is when your boss works for you.” Only a 7? C’mon, Byron. “3:16 Day is when you can have beer instead of your morning coffee.” Back to an 8! A one-man crowd that’s hard to please. “3:16 Day is a day when four letter words are always acceptable.” A five?! Well, here’s some four letter words! “Basically, 3:16 Day is a day when you can whip anybody’s ass and get away with it. And that’s the bottom line!” And Byron, being as he was so helpful sorting those out, come down and celebrate with Austin. Byron excitedly heads down, more beers are sent in, and Austin wonders what kind of suit that is. The red socks are nice, though.

Austin shakes Byron’s hand, says he appreciates Byron’s work, and hands him a beer. Byron says he was just being honest. They pop the tabs and enjoys the “levels of fabric” Byron brings to Raw. Here’s to Byron, “100% pure, unadulterated jackass!” They chug, and Austin gives Byron a STUNNER! Because that is how you celebrate 3:16 Day! What’ll we get next year? Oh wait! Becky wants in on this year! The Man brings a cooler! She steps on Byron as she gets in the ring and brings out her own beers. Stone Cold remembers the Stunner she gave him. So to celebrate 3:16, Becky calls truce. The toast, the chug, and the glass shatters!

Byron makes it back to his feet, Austin gives him a beer shower, and then ANOTHER STUNNER! “That’s what happens when Stone Cold Steve Austin and the Man come around!” And that’s the bottom line, because Stone Cold and Becky said so!

 


 

My Thoughts:

Well, this was definitely an odd Raw. It did a lot of the same that SmackDown did on Friday, but for that reason, I don’t think it did all that well. Replaying the entire Men’s Rumble match was an interesting choice, but it was fun to relive Edge’s return and McIntyre’s victory. McIntyre and Lesnar will both be present for what I assume is a second Empty Arena Raw. Edge’s promo tonight was great, audience or no audience. Edge did a great job building off of everything we’ve seen up to this point, like the twist that Edge was considering retiring again until Orton attacked Beth. Last Man Standing between these two, that’s going to be insane.

I really did like how they chose to go with Taker’s return to Raw, though. He is bordering on American Badass Taker but obviously still has his powers of darkness. Now that the world knows Mania is going to be the first ever Empty Arena PC edition, I hope they brawl all through the empty chairs even before the bell just so it can up the heat. Becky had a good promo, and I like the tie in about the semi she drove in on. Mysterio VS Almas was obviously holding back, but there are many reasons WWE won’t have their superstars go all out in the homestretch, even without considering the pandemic. I was hoping Bliss-Cross would attack Asuka on commentary but maybe next time.

Austin’s 3:16 Day segment to end the night was alright. Byron being a goofy judge was pretty funny, and of course he was going to get Stunners for the night. It’s just bad timing that they wanted to do this great tribute to a living legend and then the world has to go and turn to crap. Maybe 3/16/2021 will be a much better spectacle.

My Score: 8/10


Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
Advertisement
Comments
Advertisement

Buy A Chairshot T-Shirt!

Chairshot Radio Network

Trending