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Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (3/30/20)

What happens before WrestleMania?

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NEW Raw coverage

One last hurrah for Raw before WrestleMania!

The WWE World Champion, the Raw Women’s Champion and legend after legend are here tonight, just days before WrestleMania Weekend!

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • From WrestleMania 35 – Raw & SmackDown Women’s Championships, Winner Takes All Triple Threat: Ronda Rousey VS Charlotte Flair VS Becky Lynch.
  • Aleister Black VS Jason Cade; Aleister wins.
  • Six Man Tag: Kevin Owens & The Street Profits VS Seth Rollins, Andrade Almas Austin Theory & Angel Garza w/ Zelina Vega; Owns & The Street Profits win.
  • Asuka VS Kayden Carter; Asuka wins.
  • From Survivor Series 2019 – WWE World Championship No Holds Barred: Brock Lesnar VS Rey Mysterio.

PLAY BY PLAY

The Undertaker speaks.

“AJ Styles. Or should I say, Allen Jones.” If we’re getting real, let’s get real. And for such a small man, you’ve got a big mouth, AJ. Styles either has a “big set,” or is just stupid. But Styles’ mouth is writing checks his body can’t cash. Taker’s heard worse from far greater. There are some truths to what Styles said, admittedly. Styles said 10 years ago or so, he wouldn’t want to try the Dead Man. “You damn right you wouldn’t want to.” Styles was content to being the big fish in a little pond, because he couldn’t hang with Taker, Stone Cold, The Rock, HBK, HHH, Kurt Angle, Mick Foley, Eddie Guerrero, Booker T, Edge, “the very best this business had to offer.” Phenomenal mah ass! Styles waited until they were all gone, except Taker.

Taker admits he has more behind him than in front of him. But “Allen” has stepped into something. Styles’ pride made foolish decisions for him. The things Styles said are “Just business.” But Styles crossed the line when he mentioned Michelle. Styles pride is playing games. Maybe Styles is jealous that Michelle’s Faith Breaker, the same move as the Styles Clash, is better. But whatever the reason, Styles will pay the price for disrespecting Taker’s wife. And he will pay in the Boneyard. “Remember? That was your idea.” IF Styles wants to be relevant at the Showcase of the Immortals, who better than The Undertaker. “Try me. I”ll make you famous.”

And be sure to bring “those two ass clowns,” Gallows & Anderson, too. All three of The OC will feel the wrath “of the unholy trinity I’m bringing with me.” They will feel the pain, they will get hurt, and they will suffer. But most importantly, they will… REST, IN, PEACE…! The camera zooms out to show that Taker already has a headstone for Styles. Will the Phenom end the Phenomenal One this WrestleMania Weekend?

 

The Raw Women’s Champion rides in style, again!

Becky Lynch rides into the Performance Center parking lot with the Manmobile once again! And she’s going to be live, after the break!

 

Raw returns with The Man!

Becky is riding high after she finally got even with Shayna Baszler just last week. She stands on stage this week to reflect on last year. She fought two champions at once, with Charlotte for SmackDown and Ronda for Raw. The stakes couldn’t have been higher. Becky made bold predictions and hit the Queen and Rowdy Ronda whenever she could. And she’s been living that bold lifestyle ever since. How about we take a look?

From WrestleMania 35 – Raw & SmackDown Women’s Championships, Winner Takes All Triple Threat: Ronda Rousey VS Charlotte Flair VS Becky Lynch!

History was made almost a year to the day from this weekend! Witness the rise of The Man as she, The Queen and the Baddest Woman on the Planet for both titles!

The Queen arrives in a helicopter! And of course, with a red carpet. But of course, Ronda Rousey has Joan Jett & The Blackhearts perform their iconic song live! As for Becky, she only needs herself and the WWE Universe. The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and we make history!

Ronda, Charlotte and Becky stare down from their corners. They all slowly circle, with fans strongly behind Becky. Becky and Charlotte stare, but then realize Ronda is literally between them. So they both go after her! Ronda and Becky grapple while Charlotte hangs back. Ronda throws body shots to back Becky up, but Becky hits back. Only for Ronda to fire off more! Ronda kicks Becky out but Charlotte runs in, only to get a knee! Ronda kicks Charlotte out, too, then goes after Becky. She picks Becky up to drive her into barriers. Ronda scoops Charlotte for Piper’s Pit to the floor! Ronda goes back to Becky but Raw goes to break.

Raw returns as Becky escapes Piper’s Pit and shoves Ronda into a post! Becky boots Ronda then Charlotte scoops Ronda for an exploder into barriers! The Man and The Queen have Ronda down for now, and they go back to the ring. Charlotte says she told us so, but Becky doesn’t care. The frenemy Horsewomen throw hands back and forth! Becky hits but Charlotte kicks the bad leg. Charlotte yanks on an arm as well, and goes to bring Becky down! She wants to steal the Disarm-Her?! Becky powers out and rocks Charlotte, to steal the Figure Four! Charlotte shoves Becky back but the two throw forearms again. Ronda returns to kicks them both down! Ronda judo throws Becky around but Charlotte knees Ronda low. Chalrotte boots Ronda into Becky, but Ronda won’t let go of Becky!

Charlotte powerbomb lifts Ronda with Becky trapped, but Ronda drags them both into hanging armbars! Triple Threat means no disqualifications so Ronda doesn’t need to let go! Becky breaks free but Charlotte’s still trapped. Becky dropkicks Ronda from under Charlotte, and Ronda hits the ground hard! The referee checks on Ronda but Charlotte knocks Becky down. Charlotte goes after Becky but Becky fights her off. Becky runs in at Charlotte in a corner, but into a backbreaker and buckle bump! Charlotte kicks Becky in the face then covers, TWO! Charlotte stomps Becky out then brings down the knee pad. She shouts out to the Nature Boy with that knee drop. Fans rally for Becky even as Charlotte bounces her off the mat. Charlotte climbs up top, MOONSAULT! But into knees! And the Disarm-Her!

But Ronda returns to drag Becky into knee strikes. And then takedown to an armbar! Becky rolls around to resist, Charlotte knees Ronda down! Charlotte catches her breath while Becky and Ronda are both down, and Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and an annoyed Charlotte throws Becky out of the ring. Charlotte stalks Ronda now, but Ronda throws body shots. Ronda backs Charlotte down but Charlotte gives Flair CHOPS! Charlotte lights Ronda up but Ronda still says Charlotte “chops like a b*tch”! So Charlotte b*tch SLAPS Ronda! Ronda hits the leaping elbow! Then a takedown! Charlotte resists and shifts Ronda to a Boston Crab! Ronda endures, but Becky returns to bulldog Charlotte! Flashbacks to Summerslam and other Triple Threats, but Becky doesn’t stop there. She drags Ronda up into a dragon sleeper, then kicks Charlotte as she stands up. Becky grabs Charlotte in a facelock for double DDT combo! Cover on Ronda, TWO! Cover on Charlotte, TWO!

Becky is beside herself but she focuses on Charlotte while Ronda goes to the apron. Becky forearms and mule kicks Charlotte to ropes, but runs into a boot. Charlotte runs into uppercuts from Becky, then headbutts. Becky runs into an elbow from Charlotte, and Charlotte drags Becky up to whip. Becky reverses but Charlotte tumbles to the apron. Charlotte boots Becky then climbs, but Becky joins her. They fight for control and Ronda crawls over. SUPER Becksploder! Cover, TWO!! Becky gets up and goes after Ronda but Ronda hits her away. Ronda climbs up and leaps for a double crossbody! Double cover, TWO!

Ronda grabs Becky for another judo throw, then she throws Charlotte down beside her. Double Armbar! Ronda promised to do this to them, but Charlotte and Becky lift her up for a DOUBLE BOMB! But not just one, a SECOND Double Bomb! Ronda holds on so Charlotte and Becky give her a THIRD! Becky and Charlotte then brawl with each other! Charlotte throws Becky out and covers Ronda, TWO!! Ronda survives by the narrowest of margins, and Raw takes another break.

Raw returns again as Charlotte formulates a plan. Charlotte sees Becky get up and falls for the bait! Becky kicks Charlotte then dodges the boot for an urenage! Cover, TWO! Becky keeps her cool again as she scrapes Charlotte out. Fans rally up as Becky goes after Ronda. Ronda kicks but Becky rolls her, DISARM-HER! Ronda flails and turns but Becky stays on! They roll again and Becky keeps the arm, but Ronda keeps pushing to ropes. Ropebreaks don’t end this, but Ronda uses the ropes to climb up and lift Becky for a buckle bomb! Ronda runs back in but gets buckles herself! Becky gives Ronda a Disarm-Her through the ropes! Charlotte BOOTS Becky outta nowhere! Ronda flops to the floor while Becky and Charlotte brawl. Charlotte rocks Becky then climbs up to join her. They stand up on the very top, for a SUPER SPANISH FLY!! Cover, TWO!!

Becky lives and Charlotte clutches her own leg from that landing. Ronda drags herself back in, and goes after Charlotte. But Charlotte exploder suplexes Ronda! Becky prevents any covers to drag Charlotte in, but Charlotte throws Becky into buckles. Becky gets to the apron but Charlotte boots her down! Ronda grabs Charlotte but Charlotte kicks Ronda’s leg out. Charlotte stomps the leg, leaving nasty bruises on it. She drags Ronda over and takes that leg to sling it against the post. Charlotte gives Ronda a post-assisted Figure Four! Ronda screams but Becky breaks the hold with a BOOT! Ronda rolls away for her own safety, and Raw goes to break.

Raw returns as Charlotte goes for another Figure Four, only for Ronda to cradle counter! TWO and Charlotte’s back on that leg! Figure Four is on, but Ronda crawls. Charlotte still gets the Figure Eight, but Becky leg drops in outta nowhere!! All three women are down but New York is fired up! Fans build to a rally while Becky and Charlotte go to the apron. Becky takes this No Disqualification stipulation to the extreme with a table! New York loves where she’s going with this as she puts the table in the ring. Becky sets the table up near a corner but Charlotte returns. Charlotte clobbers Becky into the table then bounces her off the wood. Charlotte puts Becky on the table then goes to the corner. She climbs up but Becky stops her with clubbing forearms. Becky turns around but Ronda attacks!

Ronda dumps Charlotte down and decides that “Tables are for b*tches!” Ronda throws hands and throws Becky around. She scoops Becky but Becky slips out. They go around but Charlotte SPEARS them both! Cover on Becky, TWO!! Cover on Ronda, TWO!! Charlotte is frustrated but she hobbles to the table. She insists “This is MY main event!” as she puts the table up in a corner. Charlotte drags Ronda up and bounces her off the wood. And again, and again! Becky grabs Charlotte but Charlotte whips Becky off. Becky dodges but Charlotte SPEARS on the return! Cover, TWO!! Charlotte grows further frustrated, but sees Ronda stirring. Fans rally for Becky but Charlotte is up first. Charlotte aims at Becky and Ronda, and runs in, only to get double hip tossed into the table!!

Fans want that “One More Time!” but Charlotte flops out of the ring. Becky and Ronda grit their teeth and face off again! Survivor Series’ original plan finally happens as they throw furious hands! Ronda throws body shots and the Shining Wizard! Ronda jackknifes through to a fireman’s carry, but that bad leg slows her down. Becky uses the Piper’s Pit for a Crucifix Pin! Becky WINS!!

Winner: Becky Lynch, by pinfall; Winner Takes All, NEW Raw & SmackDown Women’s Champion

The Man shocks the Baddest Woman with her first defeat in WWE! But more than that, she keeps her promise to the fans and herself by becoming DUAL champion! But not without controversy, as Ronda points out a shoulder was up during the count. However, they always say the referee’s decision is final, and it stands.

 

Raw returns to the present with Becky.

“That’s the first time I watched that back.” In this last year, history follows the ones who make it. Becky also gets followed by “dopes” who can’t make their own. Many have tried and failed, but Shayna thinks she has an edge for wiping out the entire roster. Shayna thinks taking the title will destroy Becky. And she’s right. Everyone gets in the business because they have demons to slay and things to prove. Becky admits she doesn’t know who she is if she isn’t the champ. But she knows Shayna’s demons, too. Shayna walks around all cool with her tough voice and cage fighter resume. But Becky’s starting to get to her. Like all the rest, Shayna will be emotional, hoping that when she wins, she’ll finally do the one thing her buddy, Ronda, couldn’t.

Becky sees it, the relief in Shayna’s eyes and the exhilaration she’ll feel if she beats Becky. Because for once, Shayna will have stolen Ronda’s spotlight, and not the other way around. Shayna will finally be seen as the supreme athlete that she is. Or Shayna loses, and she’s back in that shadow. So when it comes to being destroyed by defeat, who does Shayna mean? But speaking of Shayna, she GRABS BECKY OUTTA NOWHERE! She drags Becky to commentary in the Kirafuda Klutch, and then SLAMS her into the desk! “This is what I mean!” Shayna throws her jacket off and stands over Becky. She grabs both legs, dead lifts Becky to SWING her into the desk!

Becky clutches her shoulders but Shayna clutches the Raw Women’s Championship. Shayna stands over Becky with title in hand, another thing Ronda couldn’t do. Will the Queen of Spades finally be atop the mountain with WrestleMania?

 

Aleister Black VS Jason Cade!

The Grandest Stage of Them All approaches, and the Embodiment of the End wants to shine in that light. He will collide with the Rocky Mountain Machine, but must focus on the fight before him tonight. Will he make Jason Cade #FadetoBlack?

The bell rings and Cade rushes in but ALeister dodges. ALeister dodges, dodges and sweeps the legs! Aleister sits down and it spooks Cade. Cade doesn’t understand what Aleister is up to, and backs off. Cade runs in but his kick is blocked! Aleister stands up but Cade enziguris! Cade runs into a roundhouse! Then BLACK MASS! Cover, Aleister wins!

Winner: Aleister Black, by pinfall

Another opponent, another match, another victory. But even Aleister knows it won’t be so easy against Bobby Lashley. Will Aleister be able to strike down his most mighty opponent to date?

 

Six Man Tag: Kevin Owens & The Street Profits VS Seth Rollins, Andrade Almas & Angel Garza w/ Zelina Vega!

The Monday Night Messiah told the world that he is the sole reason the WWE is where it is today. From the Performance Center to NXT to even the Women’s (R)Evolution are what they are because of his sacrifices. But Rollins’ allies are falling apart at the seams! Can the Prizefighter and the Raw Tag Team Champions gain ground in this war for the brand as Rollins must team with a different duo?

But as Vega’s stable makes its entrance, La Muneca must make an unfortunate announcement. Andrade suffered a serious rib injury last week, and is medically unable to compete. However, Vega has access to “the hottest young talent here in the WWE.” Just as she brought in Garza in an instant, allow her to introduce the 22 year old sensation and hottest free agent, AUSTIN THEORY! #AllDay from NXT joins El Latino en la casa! Will Theory prove himself worthy of both working with Vega and teaming with the Architect?

Six Man Tag: Kevin Owens & The Street Profits VS Seth Rollins, Austin Theory & Angel Garza w/ Zelina Vega!

The trios sort out and Kevin starts against Rollins. But then Rollins tags in Theory and wants the “kid” to show him what he’s got. Kevin wants Rollins to man up, but Theory gives him a push. Theory wants Kevin to take him seriously, so Kevin DECKS him! Kevin CHOPS Theory to the corner and throws furious body shots meant for Rollins. The ref backs KO off and Kevin says Rollins will get that at Mania. Tag to Dawkins and tag to Ford. The Profits double whip Theory and run him over with a shoulder. Ford is the human weapon, back suplex splash! Garza runs in but gets a double flapjack onto Theory! Ford fire sup to FLY Out onto the young guns! KO and the Profits are up as Raw goes to break.

Raw returns and Garza whips Ford corner to corner. Ford goes up and over and handsprings. Things speed up and Ford hurdles but Garza dropkicks him down! Off come the pants! Garza throws those at Ford and dropkicks him down again! Tag to Theory and they mug Ford with body shots. Theory suplexes Ford then covers, TWO! Theory clamps onto Ford with a chinbar and armlock and Rollins gives him pointers. Ford endures as Theory cranks and Ford gets up. Theory knees low but Ford throws him out! Theory stays on the apron, somersaults in to dropkick Ford down! Cover, TWO! Theory drags Ford up to throw a BIG forearm! He elbows Ford down and keeps on Ford, and then back suplexes. Ford lands on his feet and ducks to HOT TAG Dawkins!

Dawkins rallies on Theory and Garza, then gives Theory an exploder! Dawkins goes corner to corner, Rollins tags in before the Cyclone Splash! Theory throws Dawkins out but Dawkins body checks Garza! Dawkins returns to BLAST Theory! But Rollins SUPERKICKS Dawkins down! KO grins at Rollins but Rollins grins back. Rollins dares KO to do something before he stomps away on Dawkins. Rollins drags Dawkins up to throw a heavy right hand. And then an uppercut! Dawkins crawls but Rollins chokes him on the ropes! The ref reprimands and Rollins lets up at 4, but Garza gets a cheap shot. Rollins tags Theory in and they mug Dawkins together. Theory pushes Dawkins around and clubs him down. Vega likes what she sees out of Theory as he clamps on a camel clutch.

Dawkins endures as Theory pulls back. He fights up but Garza tags in. Garza KICKS a leg out then gets Dawkins down to a half camel. Garza adds a chinbar before getting the full camel clutch. Dawkins endures as Garza fish hooks the eyes! KO and Ford protest but Garza lets up, to knock Dawkins down! Cover, TWO! Garza tags Rollins and they mug Dawkins more. Rollins snapmares and Penalty Kicks Dawkins in the back! Rollins clamps on with a chinlock then drives in elbows. Dawkins endures as Rollins leans on him in the hold. Rollins shifts to a facelock but Dawkins fights up as his team rallies for him. Dawkins throws body shots but Rollins knees low. Rollins sucker punches Ford! KO dares Rollins to do the same, but Dawkins rolls Rollins! TOW, and Rollins slingblades Dawkins down!

Rollins rains down rights and lefts on Dawkins before he glares at cameras. He aims at Dawkins from a corner as Dawkins rises. Rollins goes to kick but Dawkins blocks! Dawkins ROCKS Rollins with that right hand! Both men crawl, hot tags to KO and Garza! Kevin CHOPS and haymakers Garza over and over! Kevin whips but Garza kicks back, only for Kevin to LARIAT! And drop a senton! Kevin taunts Vega as Garza is in the corner, CANNONBALL! Vega coaches Garza but Kevin is up top, SWANTON BOMB! Cover, but Theory breaks it up! Ford ENZIGURIS Theory out! “WrestleMania~!” Ford FLIES but MISSES! Theory only gets grazed as Ford hits the floor! Garza rolls Kevin, TWO! Kevin BOOTS and STUNNERS Garza! Cover, Kevin and the Street Profits win!

Winners: Kevin Owens & The Street Profits, by pinfall

But Rollins CURB STOMPS Kevin anyway! The Monday Night Messiah sacrifices his team and the win just to get at Kevin. Will Rollins become a “wrestling god” off the blood, sweat and tears of KOMania?

 

Raw returns to Kevin Owens still in the ring.

He has since recovered from the Curb Stomp, and now has a mic. “Y’know, Seth. I think you just kicked some sense into me, no pun intended.” Kevin’s been thinking about what Rollins said. After what just happened, Kevin has a lot to say. Rollins needs to listen up. Rollins says that while he never trained int he Performance Center, this building exists because of him. Everyone should be thankful to Rollins because he built this place on his back. But Kevin heard otherwise. This place was built despite of Rollins. Kevin heard that the moment Rollins was in that Tampa warehouse, he was a “Nightmare to deal with.,” Rollins was a know-it-all who acted better than everyone else. And these past few months, Rollins has done an amazing job proving everyone right when they say Rollins is an “arrogant dips*it.”

But Kevin is aware of his own past and his own reputation. The difference between them is that Kevin isn’t delusional. Kevin has said Rollins is delusional for a long time, and Rollins proved Kevin right. Rollins talks about his Mania moments, and how he is “a god” while Kevin is a disappointment. Kevin admits those words stung and stayed with him all week. But while he was home thinking, Kevin realized how skewed Rollins’ perspective really is. Kevin may not have Mania moments, Kevin can still claim the same accolades: WWE Intercontinental Champion; WWE United States Champion; WWE Universal Champion well before Rollins. And as for those Mania moments, Kevin didn’t get them on his own. Kevin had someone watching his back and helping him each time. “And so did you,” Rollins.

Rollins’ moments he’s so proud of? None were accomplished on his own. And if he didn’t have back-up, Rollins found some “underhanded way” to get what he wanted. Now Kevin isn’t saying Rollins can’t be proud of his moments. What Kevin is saying is that Rollins just needs to be more honest with himself. The only thing Rollins said that made sense is that nothing before the WWE mattered anymore. The past no longer matters. And that will never be more true than this Saturday. When Kevin and Rollins finally face off, neither of their pasts matter. The only thing that matters is that it is Kevin and Rollins, finally 1v1. Saturday Night, Kevin shows Rollins is not a profit, messiah or god when he beats Rollins in the middle of the ring to take his FIRST Mania Moment from Rollins! This Saturday, Kevin will be the one to #BurnItDown.

 

Edge is backstage on Raw.

“Randy. You said that Adam Copeland is a junkie for Edge. You’re probably right.” But it’s not an ego thing. Edge just loves the feeling that happens in an arena when his music hits. That connection to the fans and audiences. Edge is one of them, he came from that. Let’s face it: we’re all junkies for wrestling. A 13 year old kid watching Hogan VS Warrior knew then that he wanted this. If you’re not, you’re just in the way of others. And if Orton wants to talk grit, they clearly have different definitions. To Orton, “grit” is handpicked by Evolution. Orton rests on the laurels of his family name, coasting off and on with “spurts” of magic. Don’t get Edge wrong, “okay” for Orton is Hall of Fame level for others.

But to Edge, “grit” is the type of person that will reach out and pull someone from a hole, when they don’t deserve it. To Edge, “grit” is refusing to be in Evolution to keep from being someone else’s lackey. To Edge, “grit” is forging your own hall of fame worthy career! “Grit” is thinking about how to get back every day for NINE YEARS, and end his career on his own terms. But Edge admits he was wrong. Edge thought Orton was jealous of Edge. But no, Orton is jealous of edge’s passion. You can’t fake passion, and Edge has it. The only time Orton has it is when Edge is around. Edge makes Orton better and lights a fire under him, and everyone else sees it! Everyone knows this is the best Orton has been. The last time he was this good? Rated RKO. And that scares Orton.

Edge inspires passion and it scares Orton. Orton doesn’t know what to with that. Orton doesn’t know what to do with that feeling Edge makes him feel. But Orton listens to “the voices” in his head. The voices can’t handle the feeling so they made Orton do something terrible. Orton attacked the family. Orton almost had Edge believing the Royal Rumble was enough. But then Orton went after Beth Phoenix and said the names of Edge’s girls. Orton pulled Edge back in. Orton accepted Last Man Standing with a man “who will dive face-first into a flaming table with thumbtacks lodged into every part of my body, just to grab that torch that you took for granted!” Orton’s dug himself another hole. But this time, Edge isn’t pulling him out. This time, Edge is going to push Orton so far down, he will never get back out.

 

Asuka VS Kayden Carter!

The Empress of Tomorrow is still without her Pirate Princess sidekick, but the Kabuki Warriors will be ready to defend the WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships at WrestleMania! But before worrying about Bliss-Cross, Asuka takes on another surprise from NXT! Will the fiery Filipina be an appetizer before the feast?

Before the match, Asuka grabs herself a mic. “OI! OI!!” Asuka shouts and wonders who even is Kayden Carter. She doesn’t seem to take her serious, because now, then and forever, “No one is ready for Asuka!” The mic and gauntlet have been thrown and the bell rings. Asuka dances around but gets a DROPKICK from Kayden! Kayden whips but Asuka reverses to hip attack hard! Asuka tells KC to Kiss this” then gives her toying kicks. Asuka talks trash but KC blocks a kick to spin her. KC waistlocks, Asuka standing switches, but KC slips out. KC waistlocks and O’Conner rolls, TOW! Springboard dropkick! Cover, TOW! KC swings a kick but Asuka blocks to an ANKLE LOCK, to trapped-leg GERMAN!

Asuka is mad now, and she BUZZSAWS Kayden down! She shows no mercy as she puts on the ASUKA LOCK! Asuka laughs as Kayden taps, and Asuka wins!

Winner: Asuka, by submission

The Empress still doesn’t seem to take the situation seriously as she sings along with her own theme song. Asuka even gets on commentary to keep shouting, “OI, Alexa! Nikki!” She tells them in Japanese that if they think they will win, that’s IMPOSSIBLE! The Kabuki Warriors will deal with them #EZPZ! Asuka blows a kiss good-bye and signs off to groove along with her song. But if she and Kairi don’t take this more seriously, will their title reign be in serious trouble?

 

Raw shares Rhea Ripley’s arrival at the Performance Center.

The NXT Woman’s Champion was minding her own business, when Charlotte ATTACKED! Charlotte BOOTS Rhea into a garage door! The Queen takes offense to Rhea just waltzing onto her show like this. Referees back Charlotte off but she tells the “rookie” that she’ll see her at WrestleMania. Rhea gets up and actually smirks. “Yeah, you will.” Will the Riptide see to finally humbling the Queen on the Grandest Stage of Them All?

 

From Survivor Series 2019 – WWE World Championship No Holds Barred: Brock Lesnar VS Rey Mysterio!

While it was the first-ever three-way battle of the brands, it was the King of Lucha Libre that took on The Beast. This dream match was made incredibly personal and violent because of what Lesnar did to Mysterio’s son, Dominic. However, vengeance does not always come easy.

The introductions are made as Mysterio goes from King of Lucha to Clown Prince of Crime. Heyman of course introduces Lesnar, and also says some of it in Spanish. The belt is raised, the bell rings, and the rules are thrown out on this golden grudge match!

Mysterio immediately goes out to get something from under the ring! It’s that steel pipe! Mysterio has his little friend, but Lesnar bails out of the ring. He wants Lesnar to get back in but Lesnar takes his time. Mysterio chases Lesnar, they go back in the ring, and Lesnar clobbers Mysterio! Lesnar makes sure Mysterio doesn’t have the pipe as he throws him down! Then he drags him up to clobber him down again! Lesnar taunts “Rey Rey” as Raw goes to break.

Raw returns as Lesnar drags “Rey Rey” up to slide him out of the ring! Then Lesnar goes out to drag Mysterio up and throw over an announce desk! Specifically the Spanish announce desk, at that. Fans rally and duel as Mysterio writhes down in the corner. Lesnar clears the desk then drags Mysterio up, to belly2belly Mysterio onto the hood! Mysterio is writhing as the massacre begins. Then Lesnar puts the hood on Mysterio’s body to STOMP it down! Lesnar tosses the hood aside to drag Mysterio back up, and ram into the post! Mysterio writhes more but Lesnar looms over him. Lesnar takes time to tie his boots, because he isn’t at all concerned about Mysterio. Lesnar drags Mysterio up to a fireman’s carry, but Mysterio slides out to send Lesnar into a post!

Mysterio gets in the ring while Lesnar wobbles, and Mysterio’s going for the pipe! Heyman warns Lesnar, Lesnar gets in and stops that. To then German Suplex Mysterio ON the pipe!! And then he dead lifts Mysterio for a second German! Chicago is becoming Suplex City now. Lesnar mocks Mysterio, kicking the pipe to him and daring him to use it. Mysterio crawls to the ropes, but Lesnar German Suplexes him again! That’s three! And again, Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again, and as Lesnar paces, DOMINIC appears! Dominic has a towel, and begs Lesnar to stop! Is Dominic going to throw in the towel? Lesnar keeps him from doing that by throwing the towel away. And then he grabs Dominic!! Mysterio LOW BLOWS Lesnar! Heyman panics, because Dominic LOW BLOWS, too! Mysterio SMACKS away with the steel pipe!! Dominic joins in with a CHAIR SHOT to the back! Lesnar ends up on the ropes, father and son dial it up, DOUBLE 619!! Dominic goes up top, to FROG SPLASH! Mysterio climbs up, to FROG SPLASH! Double cover, TWO!! Lesnar kicks out and Heyman is actually shocked! Mysterio tells Dominic to go back up. But Lesnar gets Dominic with a GERMAN SUPLEX! Mysterio leaps, into an F5!! Cover, Lesnar wins!

Winner: Brock Lesnar, by pinfall (still WWE World Champion)

Not even two generations of Mysterios could defeat Lesnar, and Chicago is furious. Will anyone ever defeat The Beast?

Well, not even six months later, Drew McIntyre now stands ready to take his shot. Will #ClaymoreCountry be want finally demolishes Suplex City?

 

Raw returns to Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman in the ring.

The Advocate and the reigning, defending, undisputed WWE Heavyweight Champion of the World are back. Heyman hates “pulling back the curtain” because he loves being in the business of “larger than larger than life” personalities. But this is the final segment of the final Raw before “the most unique WrestleMania of our lifetimes.” And not just because it is going to be two nights, but because we are in the most unique period of our lifetimes. Now, this is the go-home segment of the go-home episode. If you look at the past 20 years, who stands in this ring during the go-home of the go-home? “More often than not, your champion, Brock Lesnar. Why is that? Because year in and year out, at WrestleMania, Brock Lesnar is the Beast to Slay.” The one to beat on the single biggest show of the year.

This year, Drew McIntyre has truly stepped up. “My compliments, sir, much respect to you.” But why? Because McIntyre is that special. Compared to the normal person on the street, McIntyre is special. Compared to “the dumbass in the gym,” McIntyre is that special. And compared to the rest of the Raw locker room, the most extraordinary roster in the history of the industry, McIntyre is that special. But who else was special? The Rock, who got beat the first time Lesnar came after the title. The immortal Hulk Hogan, whose blood was on Lesnar’s chest like a warlord conquering the past. Randy Couture, Shane Carwin, JOhn Cena, The Undertaker, they were all LEGENDS AND ICONS, and yet, at the end of the day, after going up against a “once ever” like Lesnar, they ended up all the same: NOT SO DAMN SPECIAL!

Drew McIntyre does not need embellishing or exaggerating or promoting. That’s how great the Claymore is. Yet so were the Rock Bottom, the Hogan leg drop, the fists of Courture and Carwin, the Attitude Adjustment, and the Tombstone. None of them worked on Brock Lesnar on the day Lesnar stepped in the ring against them. And now that Lesnar knows that a Claymore is coming, one of two things happens: Either Lesnar has mastered a strategy to counter the Claymore, or Lesnar eats a Claymore and sees if it’s enough to take him down.

Heyman has something for us. Not a prediction, and not even a spoiler. This is a guarantee: Next year’s go-home of the go-home to WrestleMania, the man who will be standing here will be Lesnar with the title on his shoulder. Heyman will be talking about the great story McIntyre had to tell with the right look at the right time, but he got beaten “fugly” by Brock Lesnar. Because this year, McIntyre walks in special, and walks out just like everybody else: Brock’s bi*ch.

 


 

My Thoughts:

Even with this being another Empty Arena Raw, this was still just an okay go-home. I do appreciate that the matches chosen for replay were matches I have on file with The Chairshot. That said, the commercials really killed the flow of both matches, mostly because they took too many for my test. But I do understand that in these times of very little money coming in for anyone anywhere, the best way for WWE to make up for it is ad revenue. I still would’ve done one less break for each replay. But going with WrestleMania 35’s historic Women’s Triple Threat was a great choice given Becky’s promo and Shayna’s attack after. Shayna standing tall here makes me think Becky finds a way to retain, but maybe they change it up and Shayna shocks Becky by winning.

Heyman’s promo after the Lesnar match replay was some really strong stuff, especially in the language department. But Heyman’s passion definitely adds something. I really hope that the plan proceeds as if there was an audience, and that is McIntyre proving Heyman wrong on that guarantee. If WWE wants this historic Mania to matter, if they want to push past the people saying this Mania should’ve been postponed, and at the very least, if they want people to see that WWE cares about future stars, give McIntyre the title. Then when things finally return to some semblance of normal, make that first Raw the biggest celebration possible for both the fact everything is back, and that Lesnar lost.

Andrade Almas being injured is definitely unfortunate timing, but this definitely helps Theory’s stock. He did great for substituting in tonight’s Six Man Tag, up until Ford’s tope. That’s definitely a timing thing, but Theory will surely (hopefully) get better at that. Kevin’s promo in response to the loss was really good, and his match with Rollins is going to be intense. Taker and Edge had great promos for their matches, too, really adding to the intensity for their matches, too. Asuka’s tune-up win was at least a great spot for Kayden Carter to be on Raw, and perhaps Kayden will become a part of that roster after Mania. NXT has so many women, they can actually give up a few for the sake of Raw and SmackDown.

But as I voiced on SmackDown, I’m more concerned what the Women’s Tag Title results will mean. If Kabuki Warriors lose, that definitely pushes things in the direction of Kairi leaving WWE to return to Stardom. And honestly, I’m not sure how Asuka continues after that. I’m not sure Raw or SmackDown could rebuild her up to the way she was on NXT, and I’m not even sure if Asuka returning to NXT could revitalize her. The key might be to really pump some dedication from booking and management into the Women’s Tag Division.

My Score: 7.9/10


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AJ’s WrestleMania 37 Night Two Results & Review 4/11/21

AJ finishes his trek through the WWE Mania week content with Night 2 of WrestleMania! How did it match up to night 1? Is Roman still your Tribal Chief?

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Well everybody… We did it. Fans are at Mania, this is the last day for me to type things out, my hand can be put on ice and we get some star-studded matches on the horizon. United States, Intercontinental, Women’s Tag, Raw Women’s Championship and the Universal Championship all coming together and let’s start the show and see if the Chief stands tall at the end, the Movement returns with the gold or if we see opportunity rise up again where Edge left off ten years ago in the end.

Results:

  • The Fiend (w/ Alexa Bliss) vs Randy Orton – Randy Orton wins via RKO – **
  • Natalya & Tamina vs Shayna Bazler & Nia Jax (c) for the WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships – Shayna Bazler wins via Kirafuda Clutch – ** ¾TITLE DEFENSE!!
  • Kevin Owens vs Sami Zayn (Logan Paul invited Ringside) – Kevin Owens wins via Stunner – *** ¼
  • Sheamus vs Matt Riddle(c) for the WWE United States Championship- Sheamus wins via Brogue Kick – ***TITLE CHANGE!!!
  • Nigerian War Drum Match: Apollo Crews vs Big E(c) for the WWE Intercontinental Championship – Apollo Crews win via Pinfall – ** ¾TITLE CHANGE!!!
  • Rhea Ripley vs Asuka(c) for the WWE Raw Women’s Championship – Rhea Ripley wins via Riptide – ***TITLE CHANGE!!!
  • Daniel Bryan vs Edge Vs Roman Reigns (w/ Paul Heyman & Jey Uso) for the WWE Universal Championship – Roman Reigns wins via Con-Chair-To – ****TITLE DEFENSE!!

 

Review:

The Fiend vs Randy Orton-

For the intro, Alexa Quinn… Wait. Harley Bliss… No, no. Alexa with face paint skips down and plays a giant jack in the box for the Fiend to appear and attacks Randy right away with a Lariat and brutally attacks Randy with his murderous attacks. Randy gets some separation slightly but Randy actually attacks but to no effect when he attacked The Fiend. Randy tries to get some fight in with the Hangman DDT as he rolls out of a Mandible but again, to no effect. He goes for a second after a failed RKO attempt as The Fiend is still somewhat down. Garvin Stomps did nothing to The Fiend as The Fiend gets some of his own offense going before Randy gets more separation, tossing The Fiend to the outside and goes for a third Hangman DDT when The Fiend pops back up. The Fiend is actually somewhat reeled as Orton coils for the RKO, only to get it countered into a Mandible and Sister Abigail attempt. Alexa pops up with the black tar showing on her face, pouring and distracting The Fiend only to get caught with an RKO and… RANDY WON?! Yowwy—Ah you get it.

Natalya & Tamina vs Shayna Bazler & Nia Jax-

Nattie and Bazler start the match up with a good amount of technical wrestling and holds to gain the upper hand. As Natalya gets the quick upper hand and almost gets the Sharpshooter in on Bazler before tagging Nia. Nia tells Natalya to get Tamina in and now we powerhouses into the match as they go back and forth with strikes to chop each other down. Natalya gets a tag in to take Nia Jax down but Bazler tags in quickly to distract the challengers until she gets caught in a double team. Nattie goes for another Sharpshooter attempt, gets it countered to a cradle but after the kick out, the challengers have been taking Shayna Bazler out. Shayna gets a burst of adrenaline and takes it to Natalya with a knee strike and Nia takes down Tamina on the outside to cut off the possible tag. Shayna now bends and twists Natalya’s ankle to disarm the Sharpshooter. Nia now gets the tag in and goes after Natalya’s legs too.

As Nia and Shayna take it to the lower body of Natalya they get the frequent tags in, making sure that Natalya is dismantled as Nia gets cocky and goes shoulder first into the turnbuckle and Natalya gets a quick burst of strikes while Tamina is still down. The attempt is in vain though as Nia gets the upper hand and goes for a spinebuster and a pinfall after before Tamina goes in to break it up and gets the hot tag after as Nia tags in Bazler. Tamina begins to beat down the champions, mainly Shayna, getting out of the Kirafuda Clutch with a Samoan Drop. Tamina gets the crowd doing but Shayna cuts off the Superfly Splash attempt and tags in Nia to go for a Superplex. Natalya pulls Tamina off the top of Nia’s shoulders and takes down Shayna. Nia hits a double splash and gets into Tamina’s face after the fact which comes back to bite her as Tamina slams her in the middle of the ring. She goes for a pin, only to get a two and maybe get a win again with the Superfly Splash but Nia rolls out of the way. The two get the tag made so Natalya and Shayna are the legal members. Natalya is so focused on Nia that she puts the Sharpshooter on Nia Jax that Shayna slides in and gets the Kirafuda on to get the win against Natalya.

Kevin Owens vs Sami Zayn-

Sami Zayn goes to run up to Kevin Owens to fight and gets a Pop-Up Powerbomb for his troubles before rolling out and almost getting an apron bomb until Sami scrambles back into the ring. Kevin Owens doing everything to keep Sami down and just end this quickly before Sami keeps rolling away and catches Owens this time with a Suplex on the apron to take KO out. The Ref starts counting all the way to eight before Owens rolls back into the ring and Sami Zayn starts getting some offense in, even landing a Mishinoku Driver onto KO for a near fall and props KO up on the top rope for a Superplex attempt as the two starts doing their native Hockey fighting on the top rope this time before Kevin gets the advantage, Sami falling and Owens getting a Splash down for another near fall. Kevin keeps his offense going for a heavy neckbreaker against KO’s knee and attempt for a Package Piledriver until Zayn catches it and gets the Exploder in the corner and a trifecta of Brainbusters to get a nearfall.

As Kevin Owens gets in the corner, the two start trading hits to the face over and over again as both men try to get a new advantage. Sami gets Kevin in another superplex attempt but KO reverses it into his own as he gets steam going with two running lariats in the corner before Sami counters it into a Helluva Kick. Sami attempts another, gets caught with two Superkicks and then finally a Stunner to stun the conspiracy theories.

Aftermath: Logan comes in to console Sami, looks over at KO and says that was awesome until Sami Zayn gets shoved and gets a hissy fit. Logan Paul raises KO’s hand as Kevin… channels his inner Stone Cold and stuns Logan Paul. That added a quarter point. Thank you, Kevin.

Sheamus vs Matt Riddle-

Sheamus takes it to Riddle early with the strength advantage early, even after Riddle getting a rapid strikes to the body. Riddle tries to get a form of offense going with a Sleeper but still getting overpowered, getting hit with the Irish Curse Backbreaker and other strikes. Riddle tries to get another form of separation and offense but after a hanging armbar in the ropes, Sheamus does the Ten Beats of the Bohdran and get a near fall. Sheamus goes to the top rope to maybe finished it quick but Riddle catches the Irishman and gets the momentum in his favor after a Spanish Fly, not letting the momentum go to waste with the quick strikes to the body and head of Sheamus, even doing a Jackhammer for a two. Riddle and Sheamus go with a back and forth for who can get ahead before Riddle gets stopped by a Brogue Kick for a nearfall and not letting up with an Alabama Slam for another two count.

They now go to the apron of the ring where Riddle gets the momentum this time, hitting an apron German Suplex and even taking Sheamus down, once of the outside of the ring and inside with a Floating Bro and getting holds onto Sheamus to keep the big man down but to no avail as he gets beaten down. Sheamus goes to the top and lands a White Noise onto Riddle and a double knee drop to get another two. Sheamus now goes to the corner and calls for the Brogue Kick, Riddle senses it and moves, going for a Final Flash Knee, tossed into the ropes to get something going with another springboard moonsault and gets a boot to the head from Sheamus to get the victory.

Apollo Crews vs Big E-

Both men rush outside of the ring to grab Kendo Sticks and beat each other with them as Big E gets the advantage with the striking match over and over as they take it to the outside. Big E tries to use a gong on the outside before Apollo gets a counter in, grabbing another Kendo and striking Big E more before getting thrown into the apron and speared through the ropes, going for a pin as he pushes Apollo back in and getting the steps. Big E taking too much time, meets the apron from Apollo hitting a Death valley Driver and getting a near fall in his efforts, getting the steps in the process. Apollo uses the steps again to drop on Big E from their first encounter to squish Big E’s head in and Big E rolls out of the way and hits a Urinagi from the apron after he moves to the steps. Big E gets angry and gets a table in the ring to set up and getting Apollo back in. Again, taking too much time as Apollo gets a Kendo stick again and beats down Big E quickly to putting him on the table. Crews goes to do a splash but gets nothing but wood as Big E rolls out and hits the Big Ending. As it looks like Big E will get the win until Apollo Crews gets a little help from his new colossus to help him out, hitting a spike and a chokeslam to end Big E’s big reign.

We get a small break before our next two matches with the 2021 Hallo of Fame this time with RVD, Molly Holly, The Great Khali, Eric Bischoff, Ozzy Osoburne, Warrior Recipient Rich Hering and “The Big Red Machine”, “The Devil’s Favorite Demon” Kane.

Rhea Ripley vs Asuka-

Asuka tries to get an early advantage with her agility but it’s back and forth for a good amount of time until Asuka takes it to Rhea in the corner and to the outside but Rhea gets the power advantage shortly and begins to take it to Asuka surprisingly, making sure she says down and even smacks her to incite her. Beginning to do some short arm Lariats and Asuka gets a leg clutch attempt but Rhea is just too strong and powers out of the hold and into a pinfall attempt as she actually is… slowing Asuka and making her look tired in the match. Ripley starts to do shoulder thrusts to Asuka’s back, weakening before setting her to the top rope. Asuka actually starts to fight back and get a split from Rhea’s attacks and knocks her down with some flight and after a near fall, continues the typical Asuka offense, taking it to the challenger and gets Rhea reeled as Asuka goes to the ropes again. Rhea catches it this time as she kicks her off the ropes, going to the outside and apron as Rhea gets the advantage back with a facebreaker on the apron to Asuka. Asuka tries anything to get a break away from Rhea Ripley, even going as far as doing a DDT to the outside from the apron. Rhea gets back in from an eight by the ref and Asuka actually gets a lot of strikes in before Rhea takes control again momentarily  and both ladies attempt their submissions, only for each to break them. Asuka gets more of her submissions and attempts to finish it with her kicking combination but Rhea catches the last kick and lands the Riptide to get the shocking win.

Daniel Bryan vs Edge vs Roman Reigns-

Roman sucker punches Bryan early and Edge and roman trade for a bit. Daniel get in the middle of the fight and gets dumped to the outside as Jey Uso superkicks Daniel Bryan as Roman does the same thing to Edge and gets a superkick too. As the numbers for Roman are too much for the other two, they have to try to get a form of a split and Edge does it, taking out Jey Uso momentarily and takes it to Roman now, going back and forth from the apron and barricade before Edge turns to Jey Uso, grabbing the steel steps and delivers and DDT on the steps as medical staff help Jey out of the match. Daniel Bryan and Edge get into the ring now as they go back and forth in the ring. After Edge takes Daniel out for a moment, Roman comes back to fight Edge from the apron. Daniel Bryan slides through and takes down Roman from the apron to face off against Edge. Daniel gets a good amount of offense in and even tries to do a dive onto Roman but gets caught and takes Bryan out. Roman now gets a beat down on Edge for a good amount of time when a Superman Punch attempt gets caught in an Edgecution. Edge goes to set up the Spear but gets rocked by a Superman Punch. Roman now goes for a Spear but Edge gets out of it with a Sunset Flip pin for a two. Both men go to the ropes and hit each other with Spears before Daniel Bryan returns a minute after for diving headbutts but to no avail on a victory.

Daniel now setting up for his Yes Kicks and as always misses his kick as Roman pushes Daniel away as all men go to a corner. Edge gets hit by a Running Knee from DB and Roman wants to capitalize with a Superman Punch but Bryan catches him and finishes the Yes Kick combo and even puts Roman in the Labell Lock but Edge breaks the submission to save the match. Edge now is going to get locked in with the Labell Lock but Roman breaks that shortly after and just mollywhops Daniel Bryan before doing a powerbomb to Daniel Bryan, onto Edge. Roman kicks Daniel Bryan out of the ring, plotting his next move on the outside, the crowd pissing Roman off with a “Roman sucks” chant as he powerbombs Daniel Bryan through the announce table, praising his work and gets leveled by Edge’s Spear.

Edge rolls Roman back in and grabs two chair, going to play a song for the Chief before Roman catches Edge’s chair and they two fight. Edge pulls Roman into the rope and hit him in the neck as Edge puts the Crossface on Roman. Roman looks like he will tap but Daniel Bryan returns and grabs the hand before putting the Labell Lock on the other side as both men yell to let their holds go to go into headbutts after. (Kind of… fucking dumb if two guys with neck problems are just headbutting each other)

Daniel Bryan starts to taking it to Edge but Edge gets a counter and takes Daniel Bryan out with a spear and hitting one to Roman too. Edge goes for the pin and Bryan pulsl the ref out to stop the count and Edge is pissed off. He grabs the chairs again and puts them in the ring as Edge beats the hell out of them with the chairs before setting up Con-Chair-Tos for both men. Edge lands one of Daniel Bryan before Jey Uso comes back in and stops Edge. Edge gets angry to Uso and beats him down until Roman hits Edge with a spear and grabs the chairs under Edge and hits the Con-Chair-To onto Edge, stacks them together and pins both for a defense.

 

Overall Score: 7.5/10

And like that I retire…

…I kid. There are still final thoughts. The main event delivered to close the show, the matches for tonight were… good. It build up to it but the main thing of the night was the Main Event. It’s actually showing that Roman is beginning to slip here. A lot of help is needed for him to retain but it still played out beautifully. Owens and Sami was great, the US Championship match was good. Apollo finally getting a reward for his actions is a great thing to see. The matches that fell flat for me were the opening two. I miracled into guessing Randy won but, we knew it was more of an OMG thing and not a “this is a wrestling match” kind of moment. We shall see how everything plays out later on in the week because we all know that the biggest shows for WWE are the Raw, SmackDown and I guess now NXT shows after WrestleMania.

And now I will retire…


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Mitchell’s WWE WrestleMania 37 Results & Report! (4/11/21)

Who wins THE WrestleMania main event?

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WrestleMania 37 Coverage

WrestleMania 37’s two night adventure reaches its conclusion!

After an epic first night, how can WrestleMania 37 possibly get any greater? Perhaps with Daniel Bryan VS Edge VS Roman Reigns for the Universal title! Will the Head of the Table still be at the helm of the WWE?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Randy Orton VS The Fiend w/ Alexa Bliss; Orton wins.
  • WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships: Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler w/ Reginald VS Natalya & Tamina; Jax & Baszler win and retain the titles.
  • Kevin Owens VS Sami Zayn; Kevin wins.
  • WWE United States Championship: Matt Riddle VS Sheamus; Sheamus wins and becomes the new WWE United States Champion.
  • WWE Intercontinental Championship Nigerian Drum Fight: Big E VS Apollo Crews; Apollo wins and becomes the new WWE Intercontinental Champion.
  • Raw Women’s Championship: Asuka VS Rhea Ripley; Ripley wins and becomes the new Raw Women’s Champion.
  • WWE Universal Championship Triple Threat: Roman Reigns w/ Paul Heyman VS Edge VS Daniel Bryan; Reigns wins and retains the title.

PLAY BY PLAY

It’s the WrestleMania 37 Night Two Kickoff Show!

Join Kayla Braxton, Booker T, Jerry “The King” Lawler, JBL and Peter Rosenberg for yet another round of discussing, analyzing and predicting the action tonight!

 

Sonya Deville joins the panel again!

Does anyone really understand the implications of the Nigerian Drum Fight? It might just be Apollo Crews who understands. His power and his culture are going to define what happens tonight. Booker asks, “What do I look like? Chopped liver?” Well okay, he would know, yes. Booker says this goes back a long time ago, the Zulu nation and the Mandingo. This will play out in front of the world so the world needs to understand, and Booker says Apollo will make you understand. Sonya wishes she’d heard more about this. But Jerry wants to know why it’s drums. Booker asks, “What do you do to a drum?” You beat it. Exactly!

Rosenberg says the bottom line is, Apollo is in control. Big E may be on the kick of being in his hometown- JBL asks why Rosenberg’s hands are everywhere. But the point is, Apollo knows what this is about because this is his match. Booker says this will be a great night for everyone back home. JBL and Jerry can’t say anything without getting canceled, so they will agree with him.

 

Ashland Craft sings America the Beautiful!

 

We’ve waited patiently for this moment.

“Finally…!” The biggest event in LIVE entertainment is BACK! Back with the spectacle, the excitement and the pageantry! WrestleMania is #BackInBusiness! And tonight, WWE sets sail on the high seas with epic epicness bigger than the history of history! Wait, what? Did he just say all that? That’s what was written. Okay, mate, let’s get this cold open done right. We pick up where we left off just last year. Our heroes are obnoxiously heroic as they battle for the ultimate prize: immortality. But no more tall tales, let’s get real, as the kids say. Tonight, we witness the global event that spans decades, created unforgettable moments, and has the memories we will remember forever.

But let us tip our caps to you, the fans, who made this possible. You over there, and them up there, and even those at home who “can’t not watch.” We raise the sails as fate still awaits. The course was corrected, the wind cannot be stopped, and the quest continues! Now how’s that? Impressive. But where’s the big finish? That’s cold open 101. Good point. Pyro montage! “Welcome back… to WrestleMania!”

 

The WrestleMania cohosts are back!

Titus O’Neil and Hulk Hogan return to kick off Night Two of WrestleMania 37, but this time they’re Captain Titus and the Hollywood Privateer! “I dunno about you, Hulk, but I think we look damn good tonight.” Well, T-man, it’s a little hot, too. But either way, AHOY MATIES! Yo ho, brothers, and welcome to Mania Sunday! Last night was incredible, but tonight will be no different! Seven matches, and FIVE are for gold! That means they need to batten down the hatches. No room for scurvy dogs or scallywags! Whoa, don’t be calling the people that. Hogan’s not gonna walk the plank, is he? No, Titus will take care of that. The first match is a tale of terror, dark than the depths of Davey Jones’ Locker! YARRGH!

 

Randy Orton VS The Fiend w/ Alexa Bliss!

The Viper thought he’d finished this at TLC, but some evil never dies. And now, this horror movie in real-life opens the Showcase of the Immortals! Lil’ Miss Twisted Bliss is still by his side, but will Orton finally #LetHimIn?

As he makes is entrance through a mysterious tunnel, The Fiend… has been restored! Alexa makes her way out first, with spooky face paint on to clash with her Punky Brewster outfit. She frolics along, and has a GIANT jack-in-the-box?! Alexa winds the handle and Orton already has an idea what’s coming. All around the mulberry bush, the Fiend chased the Viper~. And out rises The Fiend’s new form! Orton isn’t sure what to make of this, and The Fiend suddenly LEAPS into the ring to CLOTHESLINE Orton down! The bell rings, Fiend SPLASHES in the corner, reels Orton in and hits an URENAGE! Fiend sits Orton up for a NECK SNAP! “YOWIEEEE WOWIEEE~!”

Orton writhes as he clutches his neck and Fiend goes to a corner. Fans fire up as The Fiend spider-walks! Orton gets up, Fiend copies him as he takes aim! Orton flounders up, but he avoids a punt kick! Fiend pursues, Orton kicks low and gives him a back suplex to the desk! But Fiend clamps on with the CLAW! Orton grabs at the ring, gets in, and the ring count is still climbing! Orton gets free but Fiend gets in, only for Orton to kick low. Orton gets Fiend through ropes, for a DRAPING DDT! But Fiend springs right back up! Fiend blocks the RKO, but Orton throws him into his own jack-in-the-box! Fiend flounders, Orton gets Fiend through ropes again and KICKS him!

Orton wrenches the arm, KICKS again, and drags Fiend into ANOTHER DRAPING DDT! Orton looms over Fiend and stomps a hand! Fiend barely flinches, so Orton stomps the other hand! Orton throws hands and clubbing forearms but Fiend just gets up! Orton kicks low, runs, but into a LARIAT! Fiend and fans fire up, things speed up, Fiend BODY CHECKS Orton! Fiend rains down forearms over and over! Fiend gets up to run and drop a back senton, but Orton dodges it! Orton throws Fiend out but Fiend gets right back on the apron. Orton kicks him between ropes, gives away more kicks, then drags Fiend back in, for a THIRD DRAPING DDT!

Orton paces as Fiend slowly stirs. Orton hears the voices and wants Fiend to get up now. Fiend rises, but still no RKO, because Fiend has the MANDIBLE CLAW! Fiend smothers Orton, Orton starts to fade but he grabs at Fiend. Fiend brings Orton up, gives him a kiss good night, and the FLAMES erupt as Alexa is now in a new form! She has a tiara of barbed wire and there’s black ink pouring out. Wait, this distracts the Fiend?! ORTON HITS AN RKO!! Cover, Orton wins!!

Winner: Randy Orton, by pinfall

What is going on with Alexa?! Did she mean to ruin tonight for The Fiend?! Either way, the Viper slithers away before he has to worry about this any longer. Is Orton finally done being haunted by these ghouls? Fiend looks up at Alexa, but the lights start to go out again. And when the lights return, Fiend and Alexa are gone. Just what is happening inside the Firefly Fun House?

 

DING DONG~! Hello!

Bayley asks Titus and Hogan what happened to them texting her back. She says hello to Eric Bischoff, she’s a big fan of his podcast, and says if he ever feels like being on a real show, he can be on hers. Well he’s more of a book guy, not into TV. But that match of Sasha VS Bianca, the SmackDown Women’s Champion on his podcast would be awesome! Yeah, yeah, flavor of the month. But they’re not a role model like Bayley! Bayley is the longest reigning women’s champion, has her own talk show, and is on both nights of Mania! Bischoff brings up Hogan’s new boat, and they decide to go see the boat. Titus wants to ride a boat… Sorry, Bayley, Hall of Famer stuff.

 

WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships: Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler w/ Reginald VS Natalya & Tamina!

The Tag Team Turmoil is over, but now the real battle begins! Will the Irresistible Force & Queen of Spades still be standing after battling the Daughter of Superfly & Queen of Harts?

The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and the battle of alpha females begins!

The teams sort out and Shayna and Natty start. They circle, tie up, Natty headlocks and hits a takeover, but Shayna headscissors. Natty kips free but Shayna smirks as the two reset. They tie up again, Shayna headlocks to hit the takeover, but Natty gets up to power out. Shayna runs Natty over, dusts off her hands, then runs. Natty drops, hurdles, but Shayna blocks a hip toss to get a headlock, only for Natty to trip her up! Shayna scrambles to avoid the Sharpshooter, and tags to Nia. Nia and Natty stare down, fans duel, and they tie up. Nia shoves Natty down and says, “I don’t want you.” She’s calling out Tamina! Tamina reaches out, and Natty tags her in!

Fans fire up as Tamina and Nia stare down. Nia pie faces, headbutts and talks trash but Tamina HEADBUTTS back! It’s a battle of headbutts! Tamina fires off haymakers but Nia denies the scoop! Nia runs but Tamina fires off forearms! Tag to Natty, Nia ROCKS her and Tamina! Nia runs, Shayna tags in, Natty & Tamina DOUBLE BACK DROP Nia! Shayna BOOTS Natty, Tamina ROCKS Shayna back! Natty is up, she and Tamina DOUBLE GOURD BUSTER Shayna onto Nia! Fans fire up as Natty gets the legs again and steps through, but Shayna cradle counters, TWO! Natty waistlocks and GERMAN SUPLEXES! Natty drags Shayna up to stomp her down, then tags Tamina.

Natty keeps Shayna from her corner and feeds her to Tamina’s clothesline! Tag back to Natty, Natty gets the hand-off to trip Shayna, and catapult her into a SUPERKICK! Cover, TWO! Natty keeps on Shayna with forearms, then scoops Shayna, only for Shayna to slip out and fire off a strike fest, topping it off with a KNEE! Natty and Shayna are both down, Nia YANKS Tamina off the apron! Tamina fires off on Nia, but Nia scoops her to SLAM her! Natty is shocked, Shayna KNEES her down in a corner! Shayna snapmares to a cover, TWO! Shayna goes after a leg and bends it! Natty endures, kicks with her free leg but Shayna throws a forearm. Shayna pulls on the leg and twists the ankle!

Natty kicks at Shayna more, Shayna turns Natty over and has the foot stuck, to STOMP IT!! Tag to Nia, and Nia looms over Natty as she clutches the foot. Nia soaks up the heat, and drags Natty to drop a leg on the leg! Nia has a standing toehold and Natty endures. Natty fires off haymakers, but Nia stomps the leg! Cover, TWO! Nia is annoyed but she drags Natty up. Natty fights back, Nia CLOBBERS her! Tag to Shayna, Nia has Natty in a STRETCH MUFFLER! Shayna KNEES Natty while she’s upside-down! Cover, TWO! Shayna taunts Natty as Tamina is still down. Shayna SMASHES Natty’s knee into the mat, then pushes Natty around.

Shayna drags Natty up, Nia tags in, and Shayna feeds Natty to a scoop and SLAM! Natty gets to her corner, Nia soaks up heat and runs in, but Natty POSTS her! Natty catches her breath, runs at Nia and throws clothesline after clothesline, then the DISCUS! Cover, TWO!! Nia still has a lot of power but Natty rallies the fans! Natty drags Nia up but Nia headbutts her! Nia reels Natty in, gets her up, and hits the ONE HAND SLAM! Cover, Tamina breaks it?! Tamina is back in this and Shayna is furious! Nia crawls over to tag Shayna in, but fans fire up for Natty as she tags Tamina in! Tamina rallies on Shayna with elbows, then dodges to CLOBBER Shayna!

Shayna blocks a punch to fire off kicks, but she kicks into a DRAGON SCREW! Tamina runs but gets buckles. Shayna blocks Tamina’s boot, twists the ankle, but Tamina BOOTS her down! Nia storms over but Tamina DECKS her! Shayna gets around, wants the Kirafuda but Tamina blocks it to SAMOAN DROP! Cover, TWO!! Tamina grows frustrated but she drags Shayna to a drop zone. Fans rally as Tamina goes to a corner! Tamina climbs up, but Shayna KICKS her first! Tag to Nia, and Nia storms over to get up top! Nia fireman’s carries but Natty saves Tamina! Shayna gets in but Natty CLOBBERS her! But Nia adjusts, DOUBLE CROSSBODY!! Double cover, TWO!!

Natty and Tamina survive but now Nia clutches a leg. That was a rough landing for everyone but Nia manages to get up. Nia sees Tamina is still down, fans rally for Tamina and Nia gets annoyed. Nia brings Tamina up, but Tamina scoops Nia!! Tamina SLAMS NIA!! Cover, TWO!!! Tamina drags herself to a corner, and fans fire up again as Tamina climbs! Tamina aims, SUPERFLY!! BUT SHE FLOPS! Nia moves and Tamina is down again! Nia and Tamina both crawl for their corners as fans rally again. Hot tag to Natty! Natty runs and swipes at Shayna, but Nia gets Natty for a fireman’s carry! Shayna tags in, Natty slips off and DECKS Shayna!

Natty basement dropkicks Nia, and she’s after Nia’s legs! But Shayna’s the legal one! Natty doesn’t know that as she works to get the turn! SHARPSHOOTER, but Nia isn’t legal!! Shayna gets in to get the KIRAFUDA!!! Shayna drags Natty down, Natty endures but she’s OUT! The champs win!!

Winners: Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler, by submission (still WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions)

So close and yet so far for Tamina & Natty! Does this mean no team can stop the Irresistible Force & Queen of Spades?

 

Kevin Owens VS Sami Zayn!

Two men who have known each other for two DECADES, ranging everywhere from friends to rivals to bitter enemies, finally have their moment together on the Grandest Stage of Them All! But given the Great Liberator’s ludicrous behavior as of late, the Prizefighter promises to beat some sense into him! Will Kevin snap Sami out of it? Or is Sami too far gone?

WWE Hall of Fame inductee JBL joins commentary for this one to bring back a classic combination of him and #MAGGLE. Sami gets a mic to say, “Please, ladies and gentlemen. I know you’re all just as excited as I am.” Please give a warm WrestleMania welcome for Sami’s special guest of honor, and show some respect to the only ally Sami has had in fighting the conspiracy against Sami! This is… LOGAN PAUL! Logan Paul does walk out to the ring and Sami breaks it down to the theme music again. Sami hugs Logan, and fans are of course divided. Sami apologizes to Logan for the booing. But here comes Kevin! The bell rings and Sami runs, right into a POP-UP POWERBOMB!

Sami flounders out of the ring before Kevin can get him, but Kevin just goes out after him! Kevin brings Sami in and there’s NXT flashbacks as Sami fights the apron bomb! Kevin gets in after Sami, drags him up and CHOPS him! And CHOPS him! Kevin hangs Sami out to dry on ropes and Sami springs right off to hit the mat! Kevin runs in to clothesline Sami down! Kevin goes corner to corner to CANNONBALL! Sami is in a drop zone, Kevin goes up top, but Sami gets out to the apron. Kevin climbs down but walks into a BOOT! Sami reels Kevin in, Kevin elbows free of the half nelson, but Sami kicks low! Sami reels Kevin in, for an APRON BRAINBUSTER!!

Everyone is shocked, even Logan Paul! Sami drags himself back into the ring, Kevin stirs but the ring count is already 5 of 10! Sami wants it to be faster but it’s already at 7 as Kevin stands. Kevin is in at 8 and Sami is on him with furious fists! Sami seethes, kicks Kevin while he’s down, then throws crossface forearms! Logan nods as Sami looks to him, but Kevin throws haymakers! Sami kicks low, scoops Kevin and MICHINOKU DRIVERS! Cover, TWO!! Kevin survives and Sami is furious! Sami goes back to Kevin in a corner, hauls him up to the top rope, and then climbs up to go after him. Kevin resists the superplex, throws heavy body shots, then haymakers.

Sami gives those back, they brawl up top, fans cheer Kevin but boo Sami, until it’s all the same from the pace quickening! Kevin HEADBUTTS Sami down! Kevin adjusts, FROG SPLASHES, and covers, TWO!! Kevin drags Sami up, throws hands, then whips him, to pop-up, but Sami leap frogs and kicks low! Kevin wrenches, ducks a kick, tucks Sami in, PACKAGE USHIGOROSHI! Cover, TWO!! Sami survives and Kevin grows frustrated. Fans fire up with Kevin as he drags Sami back up. Kevin reels Sami in, tucks the arms, but Sami slips out of the package driver to EXPLODER Kevin into buckles! Sami goes corner to corner and HELL-

NO! Kevin dodges the kick, but Sami denies the stunner to BLUE THUNDER BOMB! Cover, TWO!! Sami is losing his cool, but he CORNER EXPLODERS to a HALF ‘N’ HALF! To a BRAINBUSTER!! Cover, TWO!?!? Kevin lives and Sami can’t believe it! “This is Awesome!” and far from over as Kevin gets to a corner. Sami SLAPS Kevin, Kevin SLAPS Sami, it’s a FAST & FURIOUS SLAP FIGHT!! Sami gets the edge, throws body shots and uppercuts, but the ref has Sami back off. Sami gets Kevin up, hauls him up top but Kevin fights. Sami still gets Kevin to the top and he headbutts from below!

Sami climbs, brings Kevin back up, but Kevin counters to a SUPER FISHERMAN BUSTER!! Even Logan is reeling from that one! Both men are down, Sami slowly sits up and drags himself to a corner. Kevin sits up and is in the opposite corner. Kevin grits his teeth, runs corner to corner at Sami to clothesline! Kevin keeps going, and clotheslines again. Kevin goes, Sami follows, HELLUVA KICK!! Sami keeps Kevin from falling over, and tells him this is because of Kevin. Sami goes corner to corner, into a SUPERKICK!! Sami staggers, into another SUPERKICK!! Fans fire up for Kevin as he looks Sami in the eye. “You did this.” STUNNER!! Cover, Kevin wins!

Winner: Kevin Owens, by pinfall

Logan seems to be the only one shocked, but he still applauds this victory! Whether Kevin has knocked some sense into Sami is yet to be seen, but he did get a big win at #KOMania5! Logan checks on Sami, tries to talk with him, but Sami says someone screwed him! The ref, the managers, someone! Logan tells Kevin that this was awesome stuff. Sami won’t let Logan shake Kevin’s hand! Sami says Kevin conspired against him! Sami wants Logan to listen to him, but Logan shoves Sami! Sami says to hell with Logan! Sami storms off, Logan raises Kevin’s hand in victory. Logan sure is a bandwagoner, huh?

Kevin doesn’t like that, either, and he gives Logan a STUNNER!! “This is MY ring!” Will this win lead Kevin back to another prizefight?

 

Matt Riddle encounters Great Khali!

What’s up, bro! Riddle wants to congrat Khali on being inducted into the HOF. Can he check the ring? Yep. WHOA, look how big his hand is! It’s as big as Riddle’s head. Khali must have a hard time finding gloves and socks. Khali should open a store that sells giant stuff! Giant shoes, giant socks, giant toilets, and giant scooters! What does he think? No? Nothing? Translator? Wait, RVD is here!! RVD translates for Khali and says that in order to corner the market, we’ll need creative branding. RVD has that right here with RVD rolling papers.

Sweet! Hey, what about a #KhaliTrolley? Khali and RVD say Riddle should focus on Sheamus. Good luck from Khali and R! V! D! Riddle rides off towards gorilla, but will he be ready to smoke the Fella?

 

WWE United States Championship: Matt Riddle VS Sheamus!

Bro… The Fella has had beef with Riddle since day one, but perhaps it’s just Riddle’s personality being so nonchalant, it’s like he doesn’t care. Will Riddle show Sheamus how serious he can get with the gold on the line?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and bro, this one’s going to be lit!

Sheamus and Riddle tie up, and Sheamus headlocks to throw Riddle down. Sheamus grinds Riddle, Riddle fights up and powers out, but Sheamus runs Riddle right over! Sheamus is on Riddle with an armlock and he digs a knee in. Sheamus pulls the fingers, but Riddle fights up. Riddle throws body shots, ROCKS and CHOPS Sheamus, then CHOPS him more! Riddle has Sheamus in a corner, fires off but lets off as the ref counts. Sheamus ROCKS Riddle back with a body shot! Sheamus stomps Riddle, drags him up and scoops him, but Riddle slips out to get a sleeper! Riddle’s a backpack with the body scissors, but Sheamus RAMS him into buckles.

Sheamus throws back elbows, lets off but Riddle elbows back. Riddle leaps, into Sheamus’ swinging SLAM! Cover, TWO! Sheamus seethes, kicks Riddle while he’s down, and kicks him against the ropes. The ref reprimands, Sheamus drags Riddle up by his face to then IRISH CURSE BACKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Sheamus clamps onto Riddle, Riddle fights up and throws forearms and fast hands! Riddle backs Sheamus down to a corner, but Sheamus kicks back! Sheamus whips, blocks Riddle’s boot but Riddle keeps kicking! Riddle gets a DRAPING ARMBAR! The ref counts, Riddle lets off at 4, but Sheamus CLUBS him back! Sheamus stands Riddle up for Beats of the Bodhrain!

The ref counts but so do fans, and Sheamus gets 8 before the ref gets 4! Sheamus drags Riddle up for a suplex! Cover, TWO! Sheamus seethes again as he paces. Sheamus goes to a corner, goes up top, but Riddle intercepts with a leap, for a SUPER OVERHEAD BELLY2BELLY!?! Fans fire up as both men are down on the mat! Riddle fires himself up as he and Sheamus slowly rise. Sheamus throws hands but Riddle counter punches then fires off palm strikes! Riddle boots, spins Sheamus and PELES! Riddle handsprings and runs to forearm smash! Side to side, forearm smash! BROSPLODER, to the BROTON!

Fans fire up as Riddle reels Sheamus in and suplexes, but he has to try again… JACKHAMMER?!? Cover, TWO!! Sheamus survive Riddle’s #Broberg attempt, but Riddle won’t lose focus just yet. Riddle gut wrenches, but Sheamus turns it around! Riddle wriggles free and kicks from below! Sheamus staggers, but he puts Riddle on the apron. Riddle ROUNDHOUSES, then slingshots, into a KNEE!! Cover, TWO!?! Sheamus Alabama lifts for the ALABAMA SLAM! Cover, TWO!!! Riddle survives again and Sheamus grits his teeth. Sheamus looms over Sheamus, brings him up, and fireman’s carries. Riddle fights free, shoves Sheamus to an apron, but Sheamus hits back!

Sheamus fireman’s carries then shifts, but Riddle escapes to POST and then APRON GERMAN Sheamus down! Riddle then aims for a PENALTY KICK, and SPRINGBOARD FLOATING BRO! Direct hit and fans fire up! Riddle gets Sheamus up and in, goes to the top rope, and hits another FLOATING BRO!! Cover, TWO?!?! Sheamus shocks Riddle, but Riddle drags Sheamus in for the REVERSE ARMBAR! Riddle throws hands as Sheamus endures, and Sheamus powers up to dead lift Riddle, for a POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO!! And into the SLEEPER! Sheamus reaches, crawls, and gets the ropebreak! Riddle lets go fast, and Sheamus hammers away on him!

Sheamus drags Riddle up, smirks as he fireman’s carries, and then carries Riddle up the corner! Riddle shifts, escapes, but Sheamus denies the sunset bomb. Sheamus adjusts up top, but Riddle springs up to ROCK him! Riddle gets Sheamus up but Sheamus counters to the fireman’s carry! Sheamus hops down to hit WHITE NOISE!! Sheamus goes up top for a KING KONG KNEE DROP!! Cover, TWO!?!?! Riddle lives and Sheamus is stunned! Fans rally, Sheamus hobbles back to a corner and fires himself up as he calls his shot! Riddle rises, but he dodges the Brogue to roll Sheamus, FINAL-

NO! No knee, but Riddle dodges to QUE-BRO-DA, INTO A BROGUE?!!? Cover, Sheamus wins!!

Winner: Sheamus, by pinfall (NEW WWE United States Champion)

The Bro tried but couldn’t keep the high, and the Celtic Warrior brought him crashing down! Will Sheamus be the one with his head in the clouds now that he has the gold?

 

WWE Intercontinental Championship Nigerian Drum Fight: Big E VS Apollo Crews!

These two used to be good friends, but the frustration of losing and the desire to reign drove Apollo to despise Big E. Apollo calls upon his ancestors to finally make him a champion, but will Big E finally turn away his most stubborn of challengers?

As Big E makes his entrance, Wale performs it life for Tampa! “Ey, Tampa! You wanna go big? Then say that!” The introductions are made, there are drums, tables, kendo sticks and a gong ringside as the title is raised and this BIG grudge match begins!

Apollo and Big E go right out to get weapons! They each have a kendo stick, both men say to the other, “This is what you wanted!” And they start giving each other SMACKS! Smack for smack but Big E gets the edge! Apollo bails out, Big E pursues to SMACK him again! And another SMACK! “This is what he wanted, Graves!” But Apollo kicks low, only for Big E to bowl Apollo into drums! Big E gets the gong! Apollo boots it away, clubs Big E then SMACKS Big E with a kendo stick! Big E goes into the ring, Apollo dares him to stand. Big E dodges, throws Apollo to the apron and runs to SPEAR him off!! That might’ve been a distance record! Big E puts Apollo in to cover, TWO!

Big E keeps his cool as fans rally up behind him. Big E fetches the steel steps, one of Apollo’s favorites from the months past. But he isn’t settling for the smaller top half. Big E goes big by bringing the base over! Big E goes to the apron, brings Apollo up but Apollo fireman’s carries! APRON DEATH VALLEY DRIVER! Apollo drags Big E in to cover, TWO!! Big E survives but Apollo won’t let off! Apollo throws down angry fists, then goes out to fetch the top half of the steps. Apollo brings those around, sets them on their end, and then he stomps Big E to the apron. Apollo has Big E on the base, he picks up the top half of the steps, and he lines up the shot!

“I’m about to show you the steel!” Big E moves before the steps SMASH down!! Apollo hurries to get to the apron, and he runs at Big E to BOOT him! Big E flounders, Apollo wants him to stand up again, but Big E gives him an Urenag-E to the STEPS!! The ref checks on Apollo but somehow he’s okay to continue. “This is what you wanted!” Big E says Apollo is going to get what he asked for! Fans fire up as Big E fetches a TABLE! Big E puts the table in the ring, sets it up, and then fetches Apollo. Apollo staggers up to his feet, Big E puts him in the ring, but Apollo ENZIGURIS Big E down!

Apollo gets a kendo stick to SMACK and SMACK and SMACK, rapid fire! So fast and so hard, the stick breaks apart! Apollo gets Big E on the table, then heads for a corner. Apollo climbs, leaps, FROG SPLASH but Big E moves! Apollo only gets table! Big E scoops, for the BIG ENDING!! But who is that?!? DABBA KATO!?!? What’s he doing here?!? GRENADE THUMB ATTACK!! And then, a CHOKE SLAM!! He’s helping Apollo to the cover! Apollo wins!!

Winner: Apollo Crews, by pinfall (NEW WWE Intercontinental Champion)

When did Apollo make Kato one of his generals?! The timing doesn’t matter, the results do! And now, Apollo has the title! What will this mean for the future of SmackDown?

 

WWE honors the 2021 Hall of Fame class!

The 2021 Warrior Award winner, Rich Hering stands with the Great Khali, Rob Van Damn, Molly Holly and Eric Bischoff on stage, and are joined by KAAAAAAANE~! And for old times’ sake, the HELLFIRE & BRIMSTONE erupt!

 

Raw Women’s Championship: Asuka VS Rhea Ripley!

The Empress of Tomorrow wanted someone to step up to challenge her, and the Nightmare did just that! Will we see that even now, no one is ready for Asuka? Or will she be washed away by the Riptide?

Rhea has New Year’s Day perform her theme live for her! The introductions are made, the title is raised, and we see who is ready for what!

Asuka and Rhea stare down as fans rally up. They circle, talk some trash back and forth, and Asuka mocks Rhea. Rhea rushes, Asuka dodges and dropkicks! Rhea stays up, but storms into Asuka’s strike fest! Asuka kicks, runs, Rhea follows but Asuka victory rolls! ONE, but Asuka backslides! Rhea rolls through but Asuka dropkicks her to a corner! Asuka runs in, misses the hip attack, but boots back! Rhea snarls, ducks a kick and ROCKS Asuka! Rhea runs but Asuka drop toeholds her into buckles, then KICKS the buck to jam Rhea! Rhea bails out and Asuka grins as fans duel. Asuka eggs Rhea on, Rhea slides in but then right back out.

Asuka goes after Rhea, keeps Rhea from going into the ring to then pop-up KNEE! Rhea gets in the ring now, Asuka follows and has Rhea on ropes. Asuka KICKS Rhea in the back, KICKS again, and again, and again! The ref reprimands, Asuka runs but Rhea dodges the hip attack to HOOK KICK! Rhea drags Asuka right back up to back suplex to a SLAM! Cover, TWO! Rhea is annoyed already as she drags Asuka and rains down fists! “You wanted this! You! Wanted! This!” Fans rally and duel as Rhea keeps on Asuka. Rhea drags Asuka into a body scissors and squeezes tight! Rhea shouts in Asuka’s face but Asuka elbows Rhea’s legs.

Rhea clamps tighter, digs Asuka into the mat and slaps her around! Rhea dares the champ to do something now, then brings her back into the squeeze! Asuka tells Rhea to shut up and she throws elbows. Asuka pushes back to a cover, ONE, and Rhea dropkicks Asuka! Rhea tells Asuka to get that weak sauce out of here. Rhea kicks Asuka around, Asuka hits back and the two brawl. Rhea KNEES low, SLAPS her, then CLOBBERS her! And again! Rhea drags Asuka up again, but Asuka ducks, only for Rhea to ripcord! Asuka blocks the Hook Kick to a KNEEBAR! Rhea endures, fights up, but Asuka pulls tighter! Rhea makes it a cover, TWO, but Rhea dead lift GERMAN SUPLEXES! Cover, TWO!!

Asuka survives and Rhea grits her teeth while clutching her foot. Rhea slaps Asuka around, then CLUBS her in the corner! Rhea drags Asuka up, bumps her off buckles, then kicks her while she’s down. Rhea RAMS into Asuka’s back over and over and digs her shoulder in. Rhea lets off as the ref counts, then puts Asuka up top. Rhea CLUBS Asuka, climbs up behind her, and stands her up, but Asuka blocks! Asuka throws elbows and then knocks Rhea down! Asuka fires up as she adjusts, then leaps for a missile dropkick! Direct hit and both women are down! Fans fire up as Asuka rises and aims at Rhea from a corner. Rhea gets up, Asuka runs in, ROUNDHOUSE! GERMAN SUPLEX!

Rhea flounders to a corner, Asuka runs in to HIP ATTACK! Rhea fights the German but Asuka BACK HANDS, CHOPS and HEEL KICKS! Rhea falls to her knees, Asuka hits another HIP ATTACK! Cover, TWO!! Rhea is in a daze but she is still in this! Asuka goes to a corner, climbs up top again, but Rhea dropkicks her down to the floor!! Rhea wobbles, Asuka gets back in, and Rhea shakes out the cobwebs to go out after Asuka. Rhea blocks Asuka’s boots but Asuka elbows Rhea away! Rhea blocks the Penalty Kick, to SLAM Asuka on the apron! The ring count is climbing, Rhea gets Asuka in at 5 of 10! Rhea hurries to get up but Asuka hip attacks her down!

Asuka goes out after Rhea again, brings her around, but Rhea fights. Rhea can’t get free, Asuka DDT’s her OFF the apron and to the FLOOR! Both women are down and another ring count begins! Asuka gets in at 5, Rhea sits up at 6. Rhea gets in at 7, but Asuka is there, SLIDING WIZARD! Cover, TWO! Asuka grows frustrated but she drags Rhea up for Kowata Kicks! Over and over and over, then Asuka smiles as she runs, but Rhea blocks the sliding kick! Rhea stomps away on Asuka! Rhea puts Asuka’s legs in the PRISM TRAP!! Asuka endures the hanging cloverleaf, reaches for ropes, but rolls Rhea to an ARMBAR!! Rhea flails and kicks, fights up to dead lift again!

Rhea SWINGS Asuka into buckles! Both women are down but Asuka goes to the apron. Rhea storms over, climbs up and drags Asuka up for a headbutt! Rhea brings Asuka up higher, for a DEAD LIFT SUPERPLEX! Cover, TWO!! Asuka still lives and Rhea is furious! Rhea drags Asuka up and clubs her. Asuka shoves free, Rhea waistlocks but Asuka elbows her again. Asuka wrenches to get a takedown! Rhea rolls, but into an ARMBAR! Rhea makes it a cover, TWO, and ASUKA LOCK!! Rhea rolls back to make it a cover, TWO!! Asuka unleashes KICKS! Rhea manages to stay up and even eggs Asuka on. BUZZSAW, but then Rhea ducks the sliding wizard! Pump handle, RIPTIDE!!! Rhea wins!!!

Winner: Rhea Ripley, by pinfall (NEW Raw Women’s Champion)

All it takes is one! And now, the Nightmare becomes the first woman to be NXT UK, NXT and Raw Women’s Champion in her career! Are Mondays about to become a nightmare for every other woman on Raw?

 

Hogan and Titus are back!

Hogan is totally blown away, brother! Titus says on behalf of them both, they send a hert-felt thank you, the fans at home watching on the Peacock and the WWE Network, and those who made it special for everyoen involved: the fans here live at Raymond James Stadium! Bayley storms out because she has just had enough! You kidding me?! Thanking the world and the audience?! But not one mention about BAYLEY. In fact, where is HER pyro?! Hit the pyro!! Oh, there is pyro ready for Bayley.

HAHAHA, YES! Bayley has been carrying the hosting duties on her back this weekend, from the legends to the hall-of-famers to stupid Michael Cole! This is HER time to shine, okay? But wait, here come the Bella Twins! Nikki & Brie don’t even get to start because Bayley said this is HER time! It doesn’t matter what these two twin idiots lookin’ like Elmo want, Cena ain’t here! Nikki SLAPS Bayley, and Brie says Ding Dong, GOOD-BYE! Nikki ROCKS Bayley, Brie hits a KNEE SMASH! The Bellas bowl Bayley down the ramp! Titus repeats, “Ding dong, good-bye!” Will Bayley make sure she isn’t outnumbered before she runs her mouth?

 

WWE Universal Championship Triple Threat: Roman Reigns w/ Jey Uso & Paul Heyman VS Edge VS Daniel Bryan!

The Tribal Chief wants the world to #AcknowledgeHim. The Rated R Superstar wants to take back what was taken from him so long ago. And the GOAT wants to bring back #YEStleMania before he’s reached the end! What happens when all these forces collide in THE main event of WrestleMania 37?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and 10 years ago to the day, we see if Edge is finally, truly back!

Roman DECKS Bryan! Edge hits Roman but Roman puts Edge in a corner and RAMS him! Roman throws clotheslines, Bryan gets Roman with EuroUppers! Bryan whips, Roman reverses and sends Bryan out, for Jey to SUPERKICK! No DQ in a Triple Threat! Jey RAMS Bryan into steel steps, Roman ROCKS Edge with an uppercut! Roman throws Edge out, Jey SUPERKICKS him down! GOTTEE! Roman backs the commentary off to clear off the desk. Jey brings Edge over, but Bryan DIVES into Roman! Jey SUPERKICKS Bryan, keeps after Edge, but Edge whips Jey into steel steps! Jey is down, Edge storms after Roman and clubs him on the back.

Edge bumps Roman off apron, off barriers, and repeat! Roman is a pinball for Edge! Edge POSTS Roman, then storms over to see Bryan still down. Edge gets steel steps and takes the top half off. Fans fire up as Edge sees Jey still down, too, and brings him over to the steps! Edge gets Jey up for an IMPALER to the steps!! But it was double-edged as Edge had to land on the steel, too! Bryan gets up while refs and medics check on Jey. They get Jey up while everyone else is still down, but Bryan gets into the ring. Edge scares Heyman away and gets in the ring. Edge and Bryan stare down while Roman only stirs. Fans fire up as Edge and Bryan start throwing hands!

Edge gets the edge, he whips but Bryan drop toeholds Edge into buckles! Bryan gives Edge YES Kicks in the corner! Bryan hoists Edge up top, climbs up to join him, and SUPER STEINERS, but Edge sunset flips it! TWO!! Edge gets around to EDGE-O-MATIC! Cover, TWO! Bryan is down, Roman is back and he ROCKS Edge! Edge and Roman brawl with the ropes between them but Roman drags Edge up to suplex! Edge resists, suplexes but Roman resists. They fight for suplex control, Bryan slides under to trip up Roman and hotshot Edge! Bryan climbs up and missile dropkicks Edge down! Bryan kips up, fires up and fans are with him!

Bryan drags Edge up, throws EuroUppers, and Edge ends up on ropes. Bryan whips Edge but Edge reverses. Bryan goes up and over and keeps moving, dodges to DIVE into Roman, but into an OVERHEAD BELLY2BELLY! Roman stands, Edge WRECKS him with a dropkick! Roman bumps into desk and Edge follows him. Edge CLUBS Roman, puts him in, but Roman runs to LEAPING LARIAT! Roman seethes, fans duel as they cheer and jeer, but Roman locks ‘n’ loads! SUPER- NO! Edge gets him for an IMPALER!! Edge aims at Roman from a corner now, and fans are fired up for something we haven’t seen in quite some time!

Edge dares Roman to get up, and then he runs in, but Roman SUPERMAN PUNCHES! Roman fires up and wants Edge to stand now! “OOOAH~!” Edge dodges the Spear to sunset flip! TWO!! Roman staggers, Edge and Roman dodge, DOUBLE SPEARS!! Shoulders and heads collide and both men are down as fans fire up! “This is Awesome!” already and far from over! Bryan returns! DIVING HEADBUTT to Edge! DIVING HEADBUTT to Roman! Cover on Roman, TWO!! Bryan is surprised but he doesn’t lose his cool. Bryan sees Edge sit up, and gives him a YES Kick! YES Kick for Roman! KICK for Edge! KICK for Roman! EDGE! ROMAN! EDGE! ROMAN! EDGE!

Bryan aims at Roman, BUZZ- NO! Roman sends Bryan at Edge, RUNNING KNEE! Roman reloads but runs into a KICK! BUZZSAW!! Cover, TWO!!! Roman survives but Bryan just fires up! Bryan gets the arms, and gives Roman a flurry of Danielson Stomps! Then the YES LOCK!!! Roman flails, Heyman panics, and Bryan cranks back as hard as he can! Edge CLOBBERS Bryan off the hold! Heyman is relieved but now Edge drags Bryan up. Bryan drags Edge down to a YES LOCK!! Now Edge and his bad neck endure!! Edge claws at the hold, but Roman CLOBBERS Bryan now! Roman rains down furious forearms over and over from all sides! Roman lets off just to throw headbutts!

Roman dead lifts Bryan to POWERBOMB him onto Edge! Roman scrapes Bryan out of the ring, goes out after him, and sees the announce desk. Fans jeer, “Roman Sucks!” but Roman just soaks up the heat. Roman puts the base steps closer to the desk, then drags Bryan up. Bryan is dead weight, the fans taunt Roman even harder, but Roman hauls Bryan up to POWERBOMB him through the desk!! But Edge SPEARS Roman outta nowhere!! Fans lose their minds as all three men are down and out! Edge gets up first, and he drags Roman into the ring. Edge looks around, and fetches not just one but a PAIR of chairs! Edge sets one down, Roman steps on it! They tug o’ war, the chair goes flying!

Roman wants the guillotine, but Edge gets Roman down to a CROSSFACE! Bryan puts on the YES LOCK!! They headbutt each other!! Roman is down, Bryan headbutts Edge into the mat! Bryan fires off his rage into those forearms on Edge!! Fans again say, “THIS IS AWESOME!” as Bryan has Edge’s arms. Bryan gives Edge DANIELSON STOMPS!! Bryan lets off, aims from a corner, and powers up with the Yes Fingers! The fans join in, though there are some “NO” dissenters. Edge gets up, Bryan runs in, into a SPEAR!!! Edge staggers, dodges Roman to SPEAR!!! Cover, BRYAN YANKS THE REF OUT!! Edge can’t believe it, but wouldn’t he have done the same in return?

Edge goes out after Bryan, gets MORE chairs, and brings those to the ring. Edge SMACKS Bryan down with one! Edge puts Bryan in the ring, and has as wild look as he gets the chair again to SMACK Roman! And SMACK Bryan! ROMAN! BRYAN! SMACK, SMACK, SMACK!! Fans are thunderous as Edge puts Bryan onto one chair. And then Edge puts Roman on another chair. Edge has it all lined up and fans go nuts knowing it! Heyman is begging Edge not to, but CONCHAIRTO TO BRYAN!!! But Jey returns, and attacks Edge!! Jey beats Edge down, gets a chair, but Edge SPEARS him down!! Edge SMACKS Jey! And again! And again!

Roman SPEARS Edge!! Roman sets Edge up on a chair now!? Roman gives EDGE a CONCHAIRTO!! Roman drags Edge onto Bryan to double cover, Roman wins!!

Winner: Roman Reigns, by pinall (still WWE Universal Champion)

The Tribal Chief is still the Reigns-ing, Defending and Undisputed, but also the ALWAYS controverted Universal Heavyweight Champion of the world because he still has his Right Hand Man watching his back! Will the Head of the Table ever be removed from the throne upon which he sits? Was this really the last chance Bryan had to bring back #YEStleMania? Was this really the end of the Rated R Superstar’s comeback?


My Thoughts:

I don’t think I have to say it, but I will: Night Two did not live up to Night One. As far as I’m concerned, titles that should’ve changed didn’t and titles that shouldn’t have changed did. Or at least, not in the way they should have. One of the only non-title matches tonight, Orton VS Fiend, was good but not at all what I expected. I thought we were going to get one full match with “mangled” Fiend, but I guess that’s what Fastlane was for. Fiend 2.0 looks pretty good, and goes even further into referencing DC Comics’ Joker. I was hoping that as the first match of the night, we would’ve gotten cinematic fighting so we could get a pseudo Firefly Fun House.

Also, I like whatever that new form Alexa takes, too, but I did not like that she distracted Fiend. Fiend didn’t have to win here, but he didn’t have to lose like that. I don’t like the idea that they’re trying to make it seem like whatever is possessing Alexa is now turning on Fiend just to push this forward in a new direction. And with Backlash sadly being made into WrestleMania Backlash, like a weird third night or something, we are revisiting this to figure out the what and why of tonight. Sigh…

The other non-title match, Kevin VS Sami, was just one degree off what it could’ve been but it was still great. I almost thought that segment at the end with Logan bandwagon’ing to Kevin was going to unite Sami and Kevin against Logan Paul. Instead, they both dislike him, just separate from each other. Maybe one day, Sami and Kevin will patch things up in kayfabe and go after tag titles. And speaking of tag titles, the Women’s Tag Team title match was great stuff, but I really wish Tamina & Natty won that. I do appreciate that Reggie wasn’t ringside to be used for various things, because in the end, Shayna & Nia sticking together does help the division. I just feel that the RawDown Women’s Tag titles need to spend more time on SmackDown than they do Raw right now, out of fairness.

Bayley was pretty entertaining tonight, but the Bellas getting the better of her was clearly a WWE management decision because fans were not for it. And I was surprised Titus and Hogan saved their pirate costumes for night two, those should’ve been night one. Riddle VS Sheamus was another great slug fest, and I like that Riddle referenced Goldberg with a Jackhammer. Seems The Bro hasn’t given up on getting a match with him. But it was an even split to me who could’ve gotten this, so giving Sheamus some vindication was alright.

The Nigerian Drum Fight was pretty good, but I expected the drums to play into it more. And same for the gong as soon as I saw it there. But it was still a very good themed No Hold Barred, just not sure why we needed Dabba-Kato to get involved. Do all Heels in WWE need to have henchmen helping them now? Except for Lashley, at least, since he’s The All Mighty. But Apollo getting the title was the part that was right, as this was his fourth attempt, and losing again would’ve been rough for him. Maybe Big E gets a match with Kato at WrestleMania Backlash, wins that and then starts chasing Apollo going into Money in the Bank or Extreme Rules.

Asuka VS Rhea was an awesome match, definitely worthy of the title and of Mania. But maybe this was just a bit soon for Rhea? Asuka hasn’t really gotten big wins lately, given she didn’t get to have her match with Lacey Evans at Elimination Chamber and didn’t have anything at Fastlane. I mean, obviously what is bad for one is good for the other, and Rhea is rising up fast and keeping pace with Bianca Belair. I wonder if WWE is already thinking that Survivor Series 2021, wherever it will be, will see Rhea VS Bianca as the champions. Hopefully they throw NXT in so Raquel Gonzalez can be part of it.

The Triple Threat Universal Championship match was awesome stuff, and I do like that they took advantage of the No Disqualification stipulation. Jey interfering early was fine, because he gets taken out for it. But him returning and helping Roman again just hurt everything they’d built up. If Roman found a way to use Bryan and Edge against each other to then get the win, that would’ve felt less disappointing. And if not for “WrestleMania Backlash” being next, I would’ve thought Roman was moving right on to Cesaro given Cesaro won on Night One. Instead, there might be that tag match “meant” to happen at Fastlane and WWE going back to the status quo of phoning it in on the minor PPV’s.

My Score: 8.3/10


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