Mitchell’s AEW Dynamite Results & Report! (4/8/2020)
The TNT Championship Tournament begins!
AEW heads for new gold!
The TNT Championship Tournament begins and Cody and Shawn Spears are in the opening match! Who heads for the newest title in AEW?
- Lance Archer VS Alan Angels; Archer wins.
- Hikaru Shida VS Britt Baker; Shida wins.
- Kenny Omega & Michael Nakazawa VS Best Friends w/ Orange Cassidy; Best Friends win and keep their team name.
- Brodie Lee VS Lee Johnson; Brodie wins.
- AEW TNT Championship Tournament Quarterfinals: Cody VS Shawn Spears; Cody wins and advances to the semifinals.
PLAY BY PLAY
Jake “The Snake” Roberts opens AEW.
“Tick-tock, tick-tock, here we are again, folks.” The Snake’s history is not his destiny. He asks us a simple question: Would you stand in front of a train? How about this? Would you jump out of a plane without a parachute? Would you stand in the ring against Lance Archer and think you’ve got a prayer of winning? All three scenarios end the same: you’re done. Quit playing games, quit making wishes. We all saw what happened to poor Marko Stunt. And it happened because no one else wanted it. Stunt thought he could prove he was a man. It’s better than to be thought a fool than to take action and erase all doubt. Marko Stunt is an idiot.
But Cody, please don’t let this slip away. The Snake says Cody might just lose. He almost expects Cody to lose, like a little mistake, so that he won’t have to face Archer. Is Cody a man or a mouse? Squeak up and tell us. Strong words from the living legend, but he perhaps has a point. Will Cody fight The Chair Man, fully knowing the Murderhawk awaits on the other side of the bracket?
Chris Jericho joins AEW commentary!
But please, Tony Schiavone, remember to address him as Le Champion!
Lance Archer VS Alan Angels!
Speaking of the Murderhawk, he’s back for more! He goes to the ring and annihilates his opponent on the way to posing in the corner! The bell rings as Archer takes off his jacket and the assault continues. Archer drags his opponent up to LARIAT him back down! Archer puts Angels in the corner and CHOPS! Angels flops down and everyone is stinging. Archer drags Angels up to CLUB him down! Archer toys with Angels before bringing him back up to whip. Angels ducks the boot to kick away at the leg and throw fast hands! Archer feeds off it, and then clamps on a choke grip! For a TOSS!! Archer goes corner to corner for a big back elbow! Angels flounders about but Archer drags him up, for the BLACK OUT BOMB!! Cover, Archer wins!
Winner: Lance Archer, by pinfall
Angels just went through hell as Archer gets his second win in AEW. Will Archer add three more wins to his record in the TNT Championship Tournament to grab that newest AEW title?
Hikaru Shida VS Britt Baker!
The Samurai is still #1 contender, but The Dentist is back in the ring. Will Britt pull the fangs from the fierce warrior? Or will she need to do some work on herself after tonight?
The bell rings and the two circle. Baker dodges the tie up and jokingly wants Shida to stay calm. They circle again and Baker again dodges to mule kick. But Shida rushes her and Baker scrambles for ropes. Baker plays it like she wasn’t startled, but Shida waits for her to return. Baker pushes Shida so Shida pushes back. The pushing continues but Shida swings a clothesline. Baker ducks it and grabs hair to bump Shida off buckles! Shida stops Baker short of 10, and grabs Baker’s wrist. Shida throws big forearms and whips. Baker holds ropes to deny the dropkick, then she bails out. Sammy Guevara and the wrestlers on that side of the ring cheer as Baker leads Shida on a cat ‘n’ mouse.
Shida keeps her cool as Baker gets in the ring first. The other side of the audience is on Shida’s side, but Baker stomps Shida the moment she’s back in the ring. Shida and Baker scrap and Baker gets Shida down for a stomp. Baker pulls on Shida’s hair then kicks her in the back. The ref reprimands Baker but Shida pulls hair, too! The ref reprimands them both but Shida has Baker in the corner. Shida lets up at 4 and Baker sits down in the corner. Baker kicks back then throws knees. Baker runs to Famouser leg drop! She even mocks Billy Gunn, who is ringside. Cover, TWO! Billy says he would’ve won off his.
Baker rains down right hands on Shida! Baker drags Shida up into the corner to choke! The ref reprimands and Baker lets up at 4. But Baker chokes Shida with a foot while arguing with the ref. Baker runs side to side for a boot wash! She drags Shida to a cover, TWO! Billy Gunn and his side cheer Shida on but Baker puts Shida on the ropes. Baker chokes Shida until the ref counts 4. Baker motorcycle stretches and boots Shida into ropes! Then she goes out to the apron to SUPERKICK Shida back in! Baker sits with Shida like they’re good friends, and she smiles at the camera. Baker tells Schiavone to say the AEW Women’s Divisoin belongs to her. But she turns around into Shida’s kick!
Shida fires up as she lets the hair down. She whips Baker but Baker reverses and sends Shida into railing! Baker runs in but into a boot! Shida flapjacks Baker along the railing, then has the others hold Baker there! Shida runs for a BIG knee lift! Jericho protests on commentary but Shida drags Baker up for a suplex to the floor! Shida has the audience fired up as AEW goes to break.
AEW returns and Shida takes aim. She drags Baker up for a suplex! Cover, TWO! Shida roars in frustration but she won’t let up. Shida runs but Baker ducks the Shining Wizard to roll her up! TWO in to a triangle hold! Shida thrashes Baker but Baker moves around. Baker reaches and gets the ropebreak! Shida lets go quick and drags Baker up. She whips but Baker reverses to reel her in. Shida fights the DDT but Baker dodges to SLING BLADE! Baker has Shida up, butterfly suplex! Cover, TWO!! Shida survives and Baker grimaces. Baker gets up and stomps Shida back down. She kicks at Shida then stomps her down. Baker drags Shida up, has an arm, and hits a Russian Leg Sweep! Into the Rings of Saturn! She wants the jaw but Shida gets the ropebreak with a foot!
Shida and Baker reset but Baker brings Shida up. Shida throws a haymaker but Baker gives it back! We have a brawl as Shida hits again. Baker checks her teeth but throws another hand. Shida clubs Baker so Baker fires off a flurry! Baker steps back, but Shida enziguris! Baker SUPERKICKS! Both women flounder about, and Baker has a bloody nose! Baker still spins Shida but Shida slips out to spin Baker! Shida suplexes, for the FALCON ARROW! Cover, but Baker rolls it back! TWO, but Baker rolls Shida around! Rings of Saturn! She takes one of the ref’s gloves, but Shida rolls the hold to a cover! TWO and SHINING WIZARD!! Baker is dazed and bloody but Shida keeps on her. Baker blocks the suplex and spins through to swinging fisherman! Cover, TWO!!
Shida is up, but Baker SUPERKICKS! Baker drags Shida back up, grinning through her bloody nose! Baker puts Shida on the ropes and makes her bite the cable! She wants to give her the same treatment as Yuka Sakazaki, but Shida evades! Shida dumps Baker out but Baker stays on the apron. Baker and Shida brawl with the ropes between them. Shida throws a heavy elbow then drags Baker up to the top rope! Baker blocks the suplex to rake the eyes! And a SUPERKICK to the legs sends Shida down! Baker climbs up but Shida joins her! The two fight up top but Shida fireman’s carries! SUPER BACKBREAKER on the buckles! Shida drags Baker back in, and runs, to SHINING WIZARD! Cover, Shida wins!!
Winner: Hikaru Shida, by pinfall
A brutal battle between two of the top women in AEW! But in the end, Shida stays the #1 contender! Is it only a matter of when, not if, Shida gets to battle Nyla Rose for the Women’s World Championship?
AEW shares footage from earlier today.
Kenny Omega talks with Michael Nakazawa about tonight’s match card. They’re teaming up after about seven years. They were a great team back in DDT Pro. But they need a team name for tonight. Any ideas? Nakazawa says the Best Friends. No, that’s Trent and Chuckie T. They’re very popular, so you can’t just take their name. Yeah but that’s what they are. They’re best friends, Omega is an EVP, he can do something about it. Omega gets what he’s saying, and will look into it. But then, Orange Cassidy walks out of a closet? The Sloth opens the door to the trailer, and in walk THE Best Friends! Trent and Chuck Taylor heard what they said. These two think they’re better best friends? They want to take their name?! Their livelihood?! Trent and Chuckie have FAMILIES, Kenny!
Omega and Nakazawa explain it is a misunderstanding. But then The Best Friends put their tag name on the line! A normal match now has high stakes for one side. Omega blames Nakazawa for this. But the match is what it is, who will be THE Best Friends of AEW?
It’s the AEW Rankings Report!
First, the Tag Team Division: At #5, it’s The Best Friends! Trent Baretta pushed Kenny Omega in their 1v1 match last week, and now they put their nickname on the line! At #4, two-thirds of Death Triangle, it’s the Lucha Brothers! Rey Fenix and Pentagon stay strong even while PAC is away. At #3, the inaugural AEW World Tag Team Champions, it’s Frankie Kazarian and Scorpio Sky of SoCal Uncensored, SCU! At #2, though recovering to 100% health, it’s Nick and Matt Jackson, the Young Bucks! And at #1, to the delight of “Mr. Brodie” Lee, it’s the Dark Order’s Evil Uno and Stu Grayson! Will this devious duo be the ones to reach the current champions, Kenny Omega and Hangman Page?
Next, the Women’s Division. At #5, the original champion, Riho! Currently at #4 but coming off a loss tonight, it’s Britt Baker. At #3, the Magical Girl, Yuka Sakazaki! At #2, the Galaxy’s Greatest Alien, Kris Statlander! And especially after that big win over Baker tonight, #1 is Hikaru Shida! Will this stay the way it is on the way to a shot at the Native Beast?
And lastly, the Men’s Singles Division. At #5, fueled by his hunger for vengeance, it’s Darby Allin! At #4 it is the AEW World Tag Team and AAA Mega Champion, Kenny Omega! Will he stay that way against Best Friends tonight? At #3, it is the American Nightmare, Cody! Will he be headed towards the TNT Championship? Dropping to #2, it is Le Champion, Chris Jericho! Because the undefeated Jake Hager IS the #1 contender! The Big Hurt and the Maniac will settle their score as contender takes on champion in a NO HOLDS BARRED title match! Will Hager go from #1 to THE ONE in AEW?
AEW profiles the coming World Championship match.
Jon Moxley knows that neither he nor Hager are in “the business of putting smiles on people’s faces.” This is going to be an ugly, violent fight. Because next week, these two fighters go all out for the top prize. Hager doesn’t want to be champion for the love of the sport. He wants to be champion because it pays more. Moxley feels fans don’t understand the kind of pain one must endure to vanquish someone like Hager. But Empty Arena or not, we’ll see it. Two of AEW’s fiercest fight in Moxley’s first defense that is also AEW’s first Empty Arena No Holds Bared match.
Mrs. Catalina Hager says they are a “house of winners.” If Jake doesn’t come home the winner, then he doesn’t come home. That’s their motto: work hard, play hard, win or don’t even bother. Jake appreciates his wife sacrificing for his sake of stepping into the cage or the wrestling ring. Moxley meanwhile faced the best and proved he’s the best. He is not ashamed to say that he likes dealing damage. AEW Revolution was Moxley’s biggest win so far when he dethroned Chris Jericho. But Hager was waiting in the shadows. Hager knew Moxley’s reign wasn’t going to last, but even he is surprised he’ll be the one to end it. Timing is everything in combat sports, and this is Hager’s time. Hager’s in the best shape of his life, and that dates back to his college days.
“None of this was supposed to happen.” Hager was set to have a Bellator fight on May 9th. He has been in fight camp since February, so now, just a week away from No Holds Barred, Hager promises us this: fans will see Jon Moxley get hit harder than he has ever been hit before. Hager is putting in more time than anyone ever. No one has done MMA and pro-wrestling at the same time quite like Hager. He is THE crossover fighter success. Once he wins the AEW World Championship, Bellator follows. It is no secret as to why he is in the Inner Circle and AEW: he’s money. The undefeated fighter is perhaps the most unique opponent for Moxley.
Moxley admits that when Hager got up from the Paradigm Shift, a move Moxley has perfected and used to drop “just about everybody in this business with,” it was like a monster movie. It humbled Moxley, but it will not scare Moxley. No Holds Barred changes the game. Hager vows to be a dual champion across two companies. They don’t get paid by the hour, so whether it is three minutes or thirty, “it is going to be hell.” No one wakes up thinking they can do both MMA and pro-wrestling, so Hager succeeding at it is amazing. Moxley promises we will hear and see every second of hell both men are going to go through. But who comes out the other side as THE top fighter in AEW?
AEW profiles the TNT Championship Tournament.
Cody says that “this is something that Warner Media really wanted.” How different is that in wrestling? That in itself is representative of what AEW is for pro-wrestling. Cody feels that he is fortunate to be included, but it is because he kept working, kept winning and kept in the top five singles competitor rankings. But that goes for everyone. Shawn Spears says that everyone in AEW wants to go to the top. But the problem is that there is X amount of guys, X amount of time and X amount of spots. One by one, Spears will pick them all off.
It is rather storybook that while Cody can no longer compete for the World Championship, that he is included in this new title’s tournament. Spears isn’t worried about facing Cody in the first round. They’ve both waited eight months for a rematch from All Out last August. Cody has the scar from that chair shot to remind him every day. But Spears has been doing this to Cody since OVW. Why did Spears do it? He doesn’t have to explain himself, other than it was for the right reasons. And that he’d do it again in a heartbeat. Spears wants his redemption in this rematch, and it’ll be for a prize. Cody has has a 15-year overnight success, but Spears builds one match at a time. Spears will make history and that can never be taken from him. Does that happen for the Chair Man here tonight?
Kenny Omega & Michael Nakazawa VS Best Friends w/ Orange Cassidy!
Hangman Page is Omega’s normal tag partner, and only they can put up the AEW World Tag titles. However, a different title has been put up tonight: the title of Best Friends! Will Trent and Chuckie T defend that honor with everything they have? Or will the Best Bout Machine and the oil master take it all away?
The teams sort out and Spears is in the audience. He still wants tag team #PERFECT10N on the side, so he’s barking at Nakazawa not to use that oil. Omega and Trent jaw at each other, both men remembering that showdown just last week. But Chuckie steps up to start with Omega at the bell. The two circle and tie up. They go around, Chuck puts Omega on the ropes but Omega breaks free. Chuck backs off and the two circle again. They tie up, Omega wristlocks and wrenches the arm. Omega cranks back but Chuckie standing switches before the hammerlock. Omega pries free to wrench out and headlock. Chuckie powers out but Omega runs him over! Things speed up, Chuckie hurdles and arm-drags! And again!
Chuckie has Omega in the armlock and the audience applauds. Omega gets up but Chuckie wrenches. Tag to Trent and Trent climbs to drop ax handles. Trent wrenches the arm but Omega gets free. Nakazawa tags in and the audience fires up. Spears wants to be impressed and Nakazawa ties up with Trent. Trent puts Nakazawa on the ropes but Nakazawa turns it around. Nakazawa lets up, to CHOP Trent! Trent stares Nakazawa down to CHOP back! Nakazawa oils up! Trent chops but it slips off! And again! The oil is a shield against chops! Tag to Omega and they drag Trent up. Nakazawa scoops slams Trent down and “We Can Do It!” They stomp Trent then strike their police poses. Chuckie T runs in but Nakazawa atomic drops and then Omega Manhattan drops him.
Nakazawa throws Chuckie T down and Omega runs, for a Kotaru Krusher on Nakazawa? It slams Nakazawa’s head into Chuckie’s T! Chuckie bails out and Omega drags Trent up into the corner. Omega clubs away on Trent’s back but the ref counts. He lets up at 4 but comes back for more stomps. Omega spins Trent around and Nakazawa pulls Trent to the post! Nakazawa grabs the legs and shouts, “Nova Train!” He starts running and pulls Trent into the post! Trent endures the torture while AEW goes to break.
AEW returns and Omega drags Trent up. Tag to Nakazawa and he runs at Chuckie T. Chuckie backs off but Nakazawa clubs Trent on the back. Nakazawa hoists Trent onto the top rope to saddle him. He oils up the ropes, to give Trent the ol’ “Hentai Slide!” It still burns. Nakazawa then bounces Trent up and off and hits an atomic drop! Cover, TWO! Spears does not understand the oil obsession. Nakazawa stomps Trent and tags in Omega. The audience rallies for Trent as Omega brings him up. Omega throws elbows to the back and clubs him down. Omega runs to drop an elbow then covers, ONE! Trent sits up but Omega is on him with a chinlock. The audience rallies again and Trent fights his way up. Trent elbows and body shots free, then runs, but Omega follows. Trent LARIATS Omega down!
The rallying continues as Billy and Austin Gunn lead the cheers. Hot tags to Chuckie and Nakazawa! The Kentucky Gentleman rallies on the Miniskirt Police! Chuckie throws forearms on Nakazawa then on Omega. Omega kicks back then regroups with Nakazawa. They whip Chuckie corner to corner, then Nakazawa whips Omega in. Chuckie goes up over, then drop toeholds Nakazawa into Omega’s Best Bout Machine! Nakazawa staggers up but Trent clotheslines him out! The Best Friends DOUBLE PESCADO! They take down Omega and Nakazawa, and Orange Cassidy rolls in! They all HUG- NO! Omega and Nakazawa take Trent and Chuckie out! Nakazawa and Omega go for the hug, but Cassidy moves out of the way. Shame on you, Sloth.
But then Trent and Chuckie attack! They throw Omega out and double whip Nakazawa. Nakazawa breaks the line but misses the flying lariats! Chuckie and Trent surround Nakazawa, but he sprays them in the face with the oil! Cassidy gets back in but his sunglasses block the oil. Nakazawa takes the glasses and throw them away! But Cassidy has a spare pair! Cassidy dodges Nakazawa to DIVE onto Omega! Trent is on Nakazawa with the TORNADO DDT! Cover, TWO!! Nakazawa flounders to the corner and Trent runs in for a big back elbow! Trent runs but Nakazawa dodges to SPEAR! Both men are down but the audience rallies. Hot tags to Omega and Chuckie T!
Omega rallies now but Trent dodges the Polish hammer. Trent whips but misses in the corner. Omega puts Trent on the ropes but Chuckie makes a save. Chuckie whips but Omega counters to a fireman’s carry. “YOU! CAN’T! ESCAPE!” Rolling senton for Chuckie, draping BACK STABBER for Trent! Chuckie flounders up, into the full nelson! Trent runs in but Omega lets Chuckie go to SNAP DRAGON SUPLEX Trent! Omega fires up, runs at Chuckie, but gets a Sexy Knee! Trent runs for the PSYCHO KNEE! Best Friends fire up and bring Omega up, pop-up POWERBOMB! Cover, but Nakazawa breaks it! Chuckie stomps Nakazawa out of the ring then tags Trent in. The audience is fired up as Trent brings Omega up. Alabama lift but Omega powers out! Omega BUCKLE BOMBS Trent!
Nakazawa grabs Chuckie for a SUPER OLYMPIC SLAM!! Spears loves it but Cassidy panics! Tag to Nakazawa and Omega drags Trent to an Electric Chair. MINISKIRT DOOMSDAY! Cover, but Chuckie breaks it in time! Omega clubs Chuckie and throws him out. Nakazawa brings down his jockstrap!! The Ultimate Venom is prepared, but Trent blocks it! Trent kicks low, but misses the clothesline! THE ULTIMATE VENOM CLAW! “He’s gonna puuuke!” V-TRIGGER!! ULTIMATE VENOM SLAM!! Cover, but Chuckie gets in to break it! Omega throws Chuck back out and Nakazawa stalks Trent. Nakazawa wristlock ripcords Trent, but Trent escapes! Trent sends the Ultimate Venom into Omega!! Trent spins Nakazawa around as Chuckie drags Omega out of the ring. Best Friends combine, SOLE FOOD HALF ‘N’ HALF!! Cover, Omega breaks it!!
Chuckie chases Omega out and clubs him around the corner. Trent drags Nakazawa up and hits an AWFUL WAFFLE! Cover, TWO?!? Nakazawa survives but Chuckie whips Omega into the railing! Trent Alabama lifts and Chuckie is up top. STRONG ZERO!! Cover, Best Friends win!!
Winners: Best Friends, by pinfall (still called “Best Friends” in AEW)
The name stays! But everyone hugs it out because there’s no hard feelings. Will Trent & Chuck Taylor head up those tag team rankings to challenge Omega and Hangman in the near future?
AEW hears from Mr. Brodie Lee.
The Exalted One pulls up in his Mercedes and looks at his minions. Do these gentlemen understand that perception is reality? Yes? Then why are two of them dressed the way they are, and the third is in a nice suit and tie? Brodie sends them out into the world, so what does the world think of them looking like this? They look like “them.” What do they think is the perception when they walk through an airport like this? Power? Wealth? No. Look at yourselves, then look at this guy here. Brodie Lee is here to make every single life he touches extraordinary. Do they understand that?
When it gets laborious, when it becomes a sacrifice, that means you’re looking at the exit ramp, not the highway. The next sign reads “unlimited power, unlimited success.” Do they understand that? Then get your act together and show him that they want it. As for the well-dressed Creeper, Mr. Brodie gives him a special opportunity. They walk inside the arena, leaving the other two out of the loop.
Backstage interview with Britt Baker.
The Dentist is able to smile despite the loss and the bloody nose that finally stopped bleeding. Does she feel Shida lived up to the #1 rank she holds? Nope! Being #1 means being a leader and a role model! Shida played dirty, because just look at Baker! Baker lost so much blood in that match! Shida is the dirtiest wrestler in AEW, but she is lucky nothing happened to Baker’s teeth. But Baker could still fix them herself, because duh, she’s a dentist.
AEW continues the profile of Moxley VS Hager.
“As AEW’s only crossover athlete from the MMA world, Hager’s submission game has already demonstrated its dominance in the AEW ring.” His arm-triangle put away Dustin Rhodes at AEW Revolution, and smothered Moxley in the attack on AEW Dark. Hager has been a champion all his life. Either you want it or you just let it pass by. He is disciplined, trained and knowledgeable. Catalina is confident this title match will be a walk in the park. A big part of Hager wants to be AEW World Champion. But not for fame or ego, but to provide for those who supported him. Hager will take care of his family, because his beautiful wife deserves it.
Moxley knows he is up against a man who could end his career in a snap. But he promises that they will beat the absolute hell out of each other. It will not be for the faint of heart. Hager is a winner, and winners are champions. The Inner Circle have been instrumental in Hager reaching this point. They have taught him so much, because each one brings something different to the group. It was all something Hager needed, and we will see it all play out starting with No Holds Barred. But the question is: does Hager have what it takes to dig down deeper than Moxley? An Empty Arena will not stop both undefeated men in this collision course.
No one is more suited for this fight than them. Hager promises Moxley walks in champion but doesn’t walk out, period. Moxley promises that signing up for a match with him, “there’s no running, there’s no hiding.” No judges, no score cards, no way out! You go through Moxley or lose! Hager says reality will settle in for Moxley, and that reality is spelled H-A-G-E-R. Hager promises that the AEW World Championship will be much better off, and will have instant legitimacy with him. But Moxley says this isn’t ego or emotion. This is a decision to say, “in no uncertain terms, ‘I am going to f*** you up.'” Who wins and who survives the most brutal battle for the title yet?
AEW hears from DAMASCUS Matt Hardy.
“Welcome to my humble abode. Welcome to the Hardy Compound!” Hardy is here to respond to “Le Hole of the Ass” Chris Jericho. Jericho sat in his “tub that is hot” wearing leather pants. And he insulted The Elite. But let us take a look at the Circle Internal. The Spanish God, Sammy Guevara “is a false god!” And probably a fake Latino! Does he even speak Spanish? Then Proud ‘n’ Powerful are more like Loud ‘n’ Devourable! Hardy loves Puerto Rican food, he cannot wait to CHOMP on Santana and Ortiz. Then the Big Man, Jake Hager. Hager is very smart, as we saw tonight, but Jericho has brainwashed him! He is Jakenstein, minus the two bolts in the neck!
Damascus knows that the Circle Internal thinks it will take over AEW, but he will not and cannot allow it! Jericho tried to recruit Vanguard 1? NEVER! Vanguard, bring the shirt! Wait, that isn’t the shirt Jericho gave him. Why, it has Hardy’s WONDERFUL~ new design on it. But where is the Inner Circle shirt? “It’s fiya.” Whatever does he mean by that? Oh, a dumpster fire. Literally! It’s on fire in the trash. That is what will happen to the Circle Internal! Hardy and the Elite shall DELETE them~! So Hardy has a special offer. Come to the Hardy Compound and face him in the ELITE DELETION~!! Will Le Hole of the Ass accept this unique challenge with Blood & Guts still waiting?
Brodie Lee VS Lee Johnson!
The Exalted One defeated QT Marshall in his first AEW match a couple weeks ago. But QT Marshall beat Lee Johnson on AEW Dark. Then what chance is there for Lee Johnson to defeat Mr. Brodie this week?
The bell rings and Johnson leaps at Brodie, but the dropkick is swatted away! Brodie then clobbers Johnson with a back elbow! Brodie waits for Johnson to stand before he BOOTS Johnson down! The Exalted One spots Marko Stunt among the audience and stares him down. He then goes back to Johnson to drag him to the ropes. Brodie wants Stunt to see the senton atomico! He drags Johnson to the corner to club away on Johnson’s back! Brodie goes corner to corner to back elbow Johnson into buckles! And then a HUGE Half ‘n’ Half suplex! Johnson flounders but Brodie drags him up into the SCRAPBUSTER! Brodie doesn’t stop, he brings Johnson up for the DISCUS! Cover, Brodie Lee wins!
Winner: Brodie Lee, by pinfall
NO CHANCE! That’s what Johnson got. Does anyone else in AEW stand a chance of surviving The Exalted One and his new Dark Order?
AEW TNT Championship Tournament Quarterfinals: Cody VS Shawn Spears!
The American Nightmare and The Chair Man went all out at All Out in Chicago, but nothing is every truly settled in professional wrestling. Each man had a Horseman behind them back then, but now it’s just 1v1 with a path to the newest title in AEW on the line. Who sets the tone for the entire tournament with this opening match?
The bell rings and Spears is wary of Cody. They circle and tie up, then go around the ring. Cody puts Spears in a corner but Spears fights out. Cody headlocks to the takeover and cover, ONE. Spears rolls to a cover, ONE! They stand up, Cody shifts to a facelock but Spears gets the ropebreak. Spears slips out to the apron and Cody gives him space. Spears returns and the two go again. Cody wants a leg but Spears stays clear. They tie up, Spears waistlocks, but Cody pries free. Cody goes for the reversal but Spears knees low then CHOPS Cody to a corner. Spears CHOPS Cody more but Cody grits his teeth. Spears whips Cody corner to corner but Cody goes up and sunset flips! TWO and Cody sweeps to thee leg lock. Spears pushes Cody away and bails out of the ring.
Spears calls for a time-out but there’s no such thing in wrestling. He goes around the way but the Gunn Club gets rowdy. Spears storms off to search under the ring. He finds a chair! And tosses it into the ring! Cody goes to fetch the chair but Spears sneaks in! Cody hurdles over and then follows, to springboard for the NIGHTMARE CUTTER! Cover, TWO! Cody tires again, TWO! Cody goes after an arm and wrenches Spears to a suplex, and gourd buster! Cover, TWO! Cody tries again, TWO! Cody keeps his cool while Spears tries to catch his breath. He stomps Spears then drags him up for another wrench. Cody brings Spears around but Spears cradle counters, TWO! Spears waistlocks but Cody hooks a leg for a trip! Cody Penalty Kicks but Spears ducks it to roll Cody up! TWO, and Cody throws hands!
Cody has Spears in a corner and whips him corner to corner. Spears reverses, Cody goes up and over and BOOTS Spears down! Cover, TWO! Cody tries again with a full mount, TWO! Jericho says the “fancy pansty, artsy fartsy BS” won’t win. Cody stomps Spears down then climbs up top. Flashbacks to the cage match, and the MOONSAULT FLOPS! Spears drags himself up and drags Cody into a PILEDRIVER!! Cover, TWO!! Cody survives and goes out to the apron. Spears follows and brings Cody around to club him down. Spears brings Cody to the ramp, for a neckbreaker! Both men are writhing as AEW goes to break.
AEW returns and Cody brawls with Spears. Spears clubs and CHOPS Cody, then whips him corner to corner hard! Cody bounces off buckles and hits the mat, but the audience is rallying. Spears stalks Cody out of the ring and SUPERKICKS him at the ramp! Spears brings some railing over and takes off the cloth! He pulls the railing apart to prop just the grate up against the apron. Spears goes after Cody but Cody throws hands back! Cody brings Spears over to bump off the apron. And again! Cody sees Spears’ railing ramp and brings him over. Spears blocks the suplex to GIVE the suplex to the grate! Brandi hurries over to check on her husband, but “This is Awesome” for the audience! Cody is somehow okay to continue but Spears is on him.
Spears puts Cody in the ring and pushes the grate aside. Spears covers, TWO! The Chair Man grows a little frustrated but he drags Cody up for a scoop slam. Spears goes to a corner and springboards, to frog splash onto knees! Both men are down and the audience fires up! Cody rises but Spears follows. Cody throws a BIG haymaker! Spears dodges the next but not the kitchen sink knee! Spears runs at Cody but Cody goes up to send Spears into buckles! Cody hits the spinning powerslam! Cover, TWO! Both men are down, but Cody takes off the weight belt! Cody LASHES Spears with it! Then tosses it to the Gunn Club as a free souvenir. Cody brings Spears up, but no Beautiful Disaster! POP-UP BOMB! Cover, TWO!! Both men are still in it as AEW goes to one more break!
AEW returns once more, and Spears is outside the ring. Spears brings out a TABLE from underneath! Spears grins but Cody DIVES! Direct hit at the ramp! Cody pumps himself up as he hobbles over. Cody brings the table the rest of the way out and sets it up! The ref reprimands Cody as he positions it, and he goes after Spears. Spears pushes Cody away and they go around the way. Cody clubs Spears and has Suge D hold him in place! Cody CHOPS and punches and puts Spears in the ring! Spears flounders, Cody climbs, but Spears gets up to SUPER ARM-DRAG! Both men are down and Jericho shouts for Spears! Spears rises up and heads for a corner. The ref checks on Cody, and Spears pulls off the crossbar pad! Brandi gets on the apron to stop him but Spears sees the table is near.
But before Spears can do anything to Brandi, Cody goes after him! Cody drags Spears into dragon sleeper but Spears slips out! Spears dodges Cody and Cody almost knocks Brandi off the apron!! Brandi gets clear but Spears gets Cody in the fireman’s carry! Cody holds ropes but Spears uses that to his advantage!! C4 THROUGH THE TABLE!! Cody crash lands and the audience loses its mind! The ref checks on Cody but somehow he’s still in this! Jericho loves this. The ring count climbs and Brandi tries to revive Cody. The count passes 5 and then 7! Cody rises, stumbles, but gets in at 9.5!! Spears can’t believe it and is losing his cool! Jericho shouts to take advantage instead!
Spears grits his teeth and glares at Cody. Cody crawls but Spears drags him up. Spears SLAPS Cody so Cody SLAPS back! But Spears fireman’s carry, only for Cody to slip out, and hit CROSS RHODES!! And then ANOTHER CROSS RHODES!! Cover, TWO!?! Spears survives and even Jericho is shocked! But that’s the “Canadian tenacity.” But Cody pulls Spears’ knee pads off and locks on the FIGURE FOUR!! Spears screams in pain, weakly flails as Cody cranks back, and it’s a cover!! Cody WINS!
Winner: Cody, by pinfall (advances to the semifinals)
Has anyone ever won with a pin from a Figure Four? Cody does it here tonight, and is now one step closer to history! But will it be Sammy Guevara or Darby Allin meeting him in the semifinals?
Another great episode for AEW as the Spring begins. For one, Jericho was amazing on commentary the entire night. I’m surprised they didn’t give him a segment to answer Matt Hardy’s Deletion challenge. We’re obviously getting that match, and I can’t wait to see it. Jake The Snake gives a great opening promo to then lead into Archer having another great squash match. Cody VS Spears was an incredible main event, and I really liked the creativity in that finish. If Jericho has never seen a Figure Four pinfall victory, then you know it hasn’t happened. Archer VS Cody is almost too obvious of a finals match for the TNT Championship, but the build is making it worth it.
We got great hype videos for everything, too. I would’ve cut out a few of those retorts in the second part of the Moxley-Hager hype, but everything was great. That match next week is going to be insane, and could probably just be a huge chunk of the second hour. Forty minutes, and that’s even with commercials. We probably got the best Women’s Match ever and it wasn’t even for the title. Baker earned a lot of points with me for embracing that bloody nose and then even giving a great interview promo after. I would love if Shida found a way to beat Nyla, and then Shida VS Baker was the next feud up.
Omega and Nakazawa VS Best Friends was a great tag match for coming outta nowhere. But naturally, Best Friends win to keep that name. They’ll move up in the rankings but not with a title match just yet. I was surprised to see AEW gave the rankings already as part of the show. You could tell it was already recorded with tomorrow’s YouTube upload in mind, but it’s nice that they wanted to include it here. And lastly, Brodie Lee of course won again. His vignette reprimanding the casually dressed Creepers was good, as it’s another subtle reference to Vince McMahon. But I’m waiting for when he gets that attitude with Evil Uno and Stu Grayson and takes them down a peg. Then we’ll see if they’ll accept The Exalted One’s way of doing things.
My Score: 9.3/10
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Mitchell’s AEW Rampage Results & Report! (3/25/23)
Will Hobbs is on a Rampage!
The Book of Hobbs adds another chapter!
After seeing his brother, Rey Fenix, being manhandled by the AEW TNT Champion, Penta El Zero Miedo wants after Powerhouse Hobbs! Will there be some miedo in Independence?
- AEW TNT Championship: “Powerhouse” Will Hobbs w/ QTV VS Penta El Zero Miedo w/ Alex Abrahantes; Hobbs wins and retains the title.
- Brody King w/ Julia Hart VS Jake Hager; Brody wins.
- Taya Valkyrie VS Leila Grey w/ Jade Cargill & Mark Sterling; Taya wins.
- The Acclaimed w/ Billy Gunn VS The Kingdom; The Acclaimed win.
PLAY BY PLAY
AEW TNT Championship: “Powerhouse” Will Hobbs w/ QTV VS Penta El Zero Miedo w/ Alex Abrahantes!
Rey Fenix could not write an ending to the Book of Hobbs, and QTV had to add insult to injury by mocking him on their little show. But now the other Lucha Brother takes his shot! Will Penta achieve revenge and glory in one go? Or will this chapter look a lot like the previous?
The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and one way or another, Saturday is golden!
The bell rings and Penta steps to Hobbs. Fans rally for “CERO! MIEDO!” and Penta pie faces Hobbs. Hobbs choke grips but Penta CHOPS! Hobbs forearms, Penta CHOPS, repeat! They go back and forth, then just fire off fast ‘n’ furious fists! Penta KICKS and KICKS and KICKS! Hobbs hobbles, Penta says it again, but runs into a BODY CHECK! Hobbs asks where Fenix is, then runs, into a SUPERKICK! Penta LARIATS, runs, and DROPKICKS Hobbs out of the ring! Fans rally up for Penta and he builds speed, and DIVES into a forearm! Hobbs drags Penta out to throw more shots, but the ref reprimands.
Harley Cameron vlogs for QTV again as Hobbs POSTS Penta! Fans chant “QT SUCKS!” while Hobbs refreshes the ring count. Hobbs taunts Penta, drags him up and scoops, to SNAKE EYES off the barriers! Penta sputters up, and Hobbs DECKS him! Hobbs mocks Cero Miedo but the ref reprimands. Hobbs taunts Alex, refreshes the count again, and fans rally up. Hobbs drags Penta up to RAM him into more barriers! “Where’s your brother?! Where’s Fenix?!” Hobbs brings Penta around to put him in the ring, and fans boo as Hobbs drops a big ax handle. Cover, TWO! Hobbs is annoyed but he drags Penta back up.
Fans rally, but Hobbs whips Penta into the corner. Penta SUPERKICKS back! Hobbs blocks a boot to YANK Penta into a BACKBREAKER! Fans boo but Hobbs soaks up the heat. Hobbs drags Penta back up, puts him on ropes to CHOKE him, but lets off as the ref counts. QT creeps up to tie Penta’s mask tot he ropes! Fans boo but Hobbs taunts Penta. Penta swipes but Hobbs stomps away! Hobbs CHOKES Penta, the ref counts and Hobbs lets off, and Alex unties the mask for Penta. Hobbs drags Penta up to suplex, stalls, then SLAMS Penta down! Cover, TWO! Penta is still in this but Hobbs stands over him.
Rampage goes picture in picture as Hobbs soaks up the heat. Hobbs taunts Penta, high-fives his team, then goes back to Penta. Penta kicks from below but Hobbs JABS! And JABS! Hobbs toys with Penta, then DECKS him! Penta sits up to throw hands but Hobbs knees low. Hobbs whips Penta hard into the corner! Penta writhes and Hobbs soaks up the heat again. Hobbs taunts Penta, dares him to get up, and then slaps Penta around. Hobbs gets in Penta’s face as he taunts him, but Penta throws forearms! Hobbs knees low, looms over Penta again, and says he’s still gonna be champ. Hobbs then SLAPS Penta down!
Rampage returns to single picture as the fans rally. Hobbs whips but Penta holds ropes to then KKICK back! Penta runs, ducks ‘n’ dodges to SLINGBLADE! Fans fire up as Penta brings Hobbs up and whips. Hobbs reverses, Penta goes up and over, BACKSTABBER! Hobbs writhes, Penta covers, TWO!! Hobbs survives but Penta fires up! The fans are with Penta as he brings Hobbs back around. Penta hooks up one arm, CLUBS away on Hobbs, but Hobbs powers up and out! Hobbs HEADBUTTS Penta, then scoops him! POWERSLAM! Cover, TWO!! Penta survives and fans rally back up. But Hobbs brings down the straps!
Hobbs drags Penta up, but Penta fights the nelson! Hobbs hits low, HEADBUTTS Penta down, then drags Penta around. Hobbs torture racks, but Penta slips out of Town Business to ENZIGURI! And SUPERKICK! “CERO! MIEDO!” SUPERKICK!! Hobbs goes flying out of the ring! Penta builds speed and FLIES! Direct hit at the ramp and Independence is thunderous! Penta fires up but Hobbs shoves him away. Penta stops himself, then baits Hobbs into the steel steps! Fans fire up as Penta goes up the corner! DIVING DOUBLE STOMPS on the apron!! But Penta isn’t done, he goes up the other corner!
“CERO! MIEDO!” DIVING DOUBLE STOMPS in the ring! Cover, TWO!!! Hobbs survives and QT can breathe again! Penta drags Hobbs up but QT has a chair! Alex snatches it! QT chases Alex, but Solo jumps in! Into a SUPERKICK! Penta drags Solo up, tucks him in, FEAR FACTOR!! But Hobbs CLOBBERS Penta with the TNT title!! Fans boo as Hobbs torture racks, to hit TOWN BUSINESS!! Cover, Hobbs wins!
Winner: “Powerhouse” Hobbs, by pinfall (still AEW TNT Champion)
QTV continues to help Hobbs stay on top, and again Alex is in harm’s way! But here comes Fenix! And he has a ring bell hammer!! Hobbs and QT back off, but the chapter has been written. Will anyone be able to stop Hobbs?
BREAKING NEWS for Dynamite!
While Kenny Omega is worried about the Young Bucks’ health, and unsure if he can trust Hangman Page, he has a challenge coming for him that dates back to January! Omega told Jeff Cobb that if he wants the IWGP United States Heavyweight Championship, “do me a favor: don’t do it for Will; don’t do it for The United Empire; do it for the reason that I do it; do it to prove that you are the best. Do it to prove that you follow no one. Jeff Cobb, you want a piece of this? Come find me in America.”
Cobb’s response? “Kenny Omega, you have been dodging me and dodging me and dodging me! And it stops! The last and final warning is not even a warning. I am telling you first hand, I am coming to St. Louis.” The Imperial Unit is a dominant force, and he is going to face Omega next week on Dynamite! Will Cobb take Omega on a Tour of the Island to bring this title back to NJPW? Or will the Best Bout Machine continue to reestablish himself in singles competition?
Ricky Starks is here!
The Absolute said on Dynamite that he’d show up tonight, daring Juice Robinson to do the same. Starks goes right to the ring, gets a mic as the fans chant his name, and says, “I’ll be honest with y’all, I’m not really in the mood for anymore talking. I feel like I’ve done enough of that the past few weeks. Juice Robinson, get your ass out here! I know I said I wanted a challenge, and I’m dressed for the part! So let’s do it! Bring your ass on out here!” Starks throws down the mic and waits, and here comes The Booster!
Robinson has his own mic and tells, “Ricky, Ricky, Ricky, are you calling me out? Are you calling out Rock Hard Juice Robinson right here, right now in Kansas City?! Well if it’s an ass beating you want, say no more. Ask, and you shall receive, sweet boy. It’s an ass kicking you’re gonna get!” Robinson storms down to the ring, but then pulls up short with a big grin. But Starks goes out after him! Starks rips the shirt off of Juice and throws him into the ring! Juice bails out and says “NO NO NO NO NO!” Juice goes out to the crowd and says Starks isn’t getting that here in Kansas City or Independence or wherever this is!
Starks isn’t even getting his ass kicked in St. Louis next week, either! Cuz Juice HATES Missouri! Fans boo but Juice says if you wanna fight Rock hard, you do it when the lights are on bright! “In a city where they still have respect!” If Starks wants it, it’ll be Starks VS Juice in NEW YORK! AEW will return to Long Island soon, will that be an absolute battle?
Team Triple J speaks.
Jay Lethal says, “You are looking at the hardest working men in AEW history. And we prove it week after week as we swim like damn fish upstream just to get a tiny little bit, just to get a tiny little morsel of respect from the AEW roster in the back, and the delusional AEW fans. And for what? Because every time we start to make some strides around here, from around some corner, from under some rock, some damn AEW official shows up to rain on our parade.” Take the beginning of this year, Triple J pinned the shoulders of The Acclaimed “clean” to win the AEW World Tag Team Championships! And then from some corner, Aubrey Edwards rears her ugly head to cost them that!
Jeff Jarrett says that’s right! And just 10 days ago, Aubrey and “Cueball” Bryce and the whole lot screwed Jarrett out of the International Title! The Last Outlaw assures us that this foursome WILL have gold sooner or later. Sonjay Dutt adds that no power can prevent them from becoming champions. But to guarantee one thing, “you all will be calling us champions!” Lethal says they’re scared of that day, and they should be! But will Triple J learn they have to do that fair and square?
Brody King w/ Julia Hart VS Jake Hager!
The big behemoth of the House of Black is here to break the Jericho Appreciation Society’s muscle! Will Brody brutalize Hager? Or will Rock Hard Hager like tonight like he likes that hat?
The bell rings and fans cheer the hat. Brody and Hager stare down, tie up, and go around. Brody pushes Hager back, and Hager shoves back. Brody shoves Hager, Hager runs to RAM Brody, but Brody stays up! Brody runs to RAM Hager, but Hager stays up! They start throwing haymakers! Fans fire up and duel, Hager knees low then runs, but into a BIG forearm! Brody runs but into a BIG forearm! Hager runs, fakes Brody out, but Brody dodges to DOUBLE CHOP! Fans fire up while Hager bails out. Brody pursues and ROCKS Hager with a haymaker! Brody whips Hager into railing! Fans fire up as Brody roars1
But Hager hits back! And he runs Brody to THROW him into barriers! Hager roars and Rampage goes picture in picture.
Hager drags Brody up to whip him into more barriers! Hager lets off to soak up the heat. Hager drags Brody up, CLUBS him, then SMACKS him off the apron! Hager shouts at Brody, drags him up, and ROCKS him with a haymaker. But Brody ROCKS Hager back! Hager CLUBS Brody against the apron, puts Brody in the ring, and stomps a mudhole into the corner. Hager digs his boots in but lets off as the ref counts. Hager digs his knee in now, but lets off again as the ref counts. Hager argues with the ref, but he goes back to Brody. Hager stands Brody up but Brody throws forearms!
The two brawl with body shots and forearms, and Hager gets the edge! Hager fires off in the corner, but lets off as the ref counts. Hager soaks up the heat, puts Brody on ropes and CHOKES him! The ref reprimands and counts, Hager lets off at 4, and Brody sputters. Hager drags Brody up, chicken wings him, but Brody resists the hold. Hager leans on Brody, grinds him down, and he goes after the shoulder as Rampage goes to break.
Rampage returns as Brody whips Hager corner to corner. Hager comes back, but into a BOSS MAN SLAM! Cover, TWO!! Hager survives and Brody checks his teeth while fans fire up. Brody drags Hager up but Hager fights the lift! Hager picks the ankle for the ANKLE LOCK! But Brody turns over to BOOT Hager away. Hager turns around, inot a CORNER SPLASH! Fans bark and hoot with Brody as he goes to the far corner. Brody roars, runs, but Hager avoids the CANNONBALL! Brody hits buckles, falls into the drop zone, and Hager roars, “I LOVE THIS HAT!” Hager goes up, up but gets BOOTS! And a DISCUS LARIAT! Cover, TWO!!
Hager survives, and wait! Anna Jay POSTS Julia! Fans boo, Brody is furious, but Hager rolls Brody up! TWO!! Hager runs back in, but Brody dodges to fireman’s carry and LANDSLIDE!! Cover, Brody wins!
Winner: Brody King, by pinfall
Hager suffers “The All Seeing Eye,” but the JAS has upped things by bringing The Queenslayer in to go after the Lady of the House. Will it be an all out war between these two factions?
Swerve Strickland speaks.
He laughs before he says, “Yo, at this point, I’m really getting sick and tired of you, Keith Lee. So people are wondering when are we gonna end this once and for all. When I damn well please, when I choose to, because I’m the one driving this. You won the battle, you took out my men, so I’m gonna finish this war. And I’ve found an affiliate of mine who is just as twisted and sick in the mind like I am. Strange music, it’s a strange world.” Nine introduces himself, and Swerve says that what Nine says is to bring someone Keith doesn’t expect. Keith took out Trench and Parker, that was one battle. Swerve will win the war. Hoodies up.
Taya Valkyrie VS Leila Grey w/ Jade Cargill & Mark Sterling!
La Wera Loca wants the TBS Championship, but The Baddies want her to stop using the same finishing move as #ThatBitch. Will the papers be served along with an L? Or will Taya just tear it all up?
The bell rings and Taya and Leila talk some smack. Leila says she doesn’t care who Taya is or where she’s been, but Jade is The Baddie. Leila pie faces, then shoves Taya, but Taya smirks. Then she LARIATS Leila down! Fans fire up, Taya whips Leila to ropes, but Leila dodges, and Mark gets on the apron! Sterling shows his Cease & Desist, but Taya just rolls her eyes. But Leila attacks from behind! Fans boo but “That’s how baddies do it!” Taya shoves Leila, blocks the chop and kicks, KNEES and fires off strikes! Taya chicken wings! ROAD TO VALHALLA! Cover, Taya wins!
Winner: Taya Valkyrie, by pinfall
Yeah, that C&D doesn’t mean a thing to Taya. But Sterling gets in the ring cuz he means business! He says that she will take the C&D seriously! Taya ROCKS Sterling, then chicken wings him! Jade is speechless as Sterling takes a ROAD TO VALHALLA!! Jade says it doesn’t matter if Taya uses the same move, she’ll still be champion. But will #ThatBitchShow continue to 55-0? Or will La Wera Loca be the one behind 54-1?
MORE BREAKING NEWS for Dynamite!
On top of Omega VS Cobb for the IWGP United States Heavyweight Championship, “Jungle Boy” Jack Perry starts on his race to become #1 contender as he faces Matt Hardy! Will this Young Pillar set the pace for the race to MJF? Plus, The Blackpool Combat Club fights together as one in a Trios Match against Dalton Castle & The Boys! Will Moxley, Claudio & Yuta start to build their strength in the AEW and ROH Trios Divisions? Then, in a match for the AEW International Championship, Orange Cassidy defends against The Butcher! Will Freshly Squeezed still be a fighting champion after taking on the Superbad Squad’s behemoth?
Mark Henry welcomes us back to Rampage.
“Tonight, The Kingdom faces The Acclaimed. Two accomplished tag teams, let’s see why.” Mike Bennett & Matt Taven are former ROH World Tag Team Champions but Max Caster & Anthony Bowens are former AEW World Tag Team Champions, each with their own strong, homegrown rise to the top. The Acclaimed are fan favorites, The Kingdom not so much. But it’s TIME! For the main event! Will Caster & Bowens drop bars and drop The Kingdom? Or will this be the start of a new rise for Bennett & Taven?
The Acclaimed w/ Billy Gunn VS The Kingdom!
Wait, before the match gets going, the Jericho Appreciation Society’s Matthew Menard & Angelo Parker are joining commentary. They still insist Caster & Bowens are top tier sports… enner-tay-ners! But will all this courting just turn The Acclaimed off?
But of course, Platinum Max has a diss track on deck! “The Acclaimed ’bout to claim another victim. All the fans like, ‘Who the hell is the Kingdom?’ Taven sucks, if I’m being a buck. Mike Bennett is best known for being a cuck! Ay yo, Maria, keep it zipped up. I saw your Playboy and didn’t even get bricked up. I’ll take a shot since you purple marks. I’m a leave ya purple ass with some purple hearts.” Bowens then tells, “KANSAS CITAAAAY~! The Acclaimed have arrived! SCISSOR ME, DADDY ASS~!” And he does! But will The Acclaimed clip The Kingdom from the top of the tag division rankings?
The teams sort out and Caster starts against Mike, and fans sing, “OH~ Scissor Me, Daddy~!” Mike and Caster circle, but Maria wants to scissor finger? Really? Mike gives permission, but then he sucker punches Caster! Mike CHOPS Caster in the corner, keeps him cornered, and CHOPS again! Tag to Taven, feed to a BOOT, then a forearm, then a MISSILE DROPKICK! Taven covers, ONE! Taven pulls Caster’s hair, brings him around and bumps him off buckles. Tag to Mike and he DECKS Bowens! The Kingdom mugs Caster, Mike CHOPS and whips. Caster holds ropes, Bowens tags, and then Caster sunset flips.
Bowens runs in, NECKBREAKER BACKSTABBER COMBO! Bowens drags Mike to a cover, TWO! Bowens stands Mike up to CHOP! And CHOP! Fans fire up and Bowens brings Mike around, but Mike turns things around on Bowens! Bowens fights the lift, slips around, ripcords and NECKBREAKERS! Cover, TWO! Menard breaks the news that The Ocho, Chris Jericho, gives Menard & Parker permission to take The Acclaimed “out on the town” and spend as much “cold hard cash” as it takes. Will The Acclaimed accept that invite? Tag to Caster, he ROCKS Mike, then scoops and SLAMS! Bowens goes up, SCISSOR ME TIMBERS~!
Taven storms in but he gets thrown out of the ring! And The Acclaimed SCISSOR FINGER~! Fans fire up more while Rampage goes picture in picture.
Caster stalks Mike, drags him up, and brings him around to hit a BIG back suplex! Caster drags Mike up again, but Taven trips Bowens of the apron! Mike CHOPS Caster, Caster ROCKS Mike, Taven sends Bowens into steel steps! The CHOPS and haymakers keep going, then Mike kicks low. Mike CHOPS again, but Caster still throws forearms! Caster whips, Mike reverses and Taven trips Caster and Mike UPPERCUTS! Tag to Taven, feed to the GOURD BUSTER! Mike BLINDSIDE ROLLING ELBOWS! Taven covers, TWO! Taven is upset but he was too busy mocking the scissor fingers for a better pin.
Taven CHOPS Caster to ropes, Caster CHOPS back! They CHOP back and forth, faster and faster, then Taven pokes Caster in the eyes! Tag to Mike, he snapmares Caster while the JAS talk about their plans. Not that we can hear… Mike CATAPULTS Caster into a GAMANGIRI! Taven goes up, ELBOW DROP BACKBREAKER COMBO! Mike takes a bow, high-fives his wife, and Taven suplexes Caster. Caster blocks, throws body shots, but Taven knees low! Tag to Mike, the Kingdom double whips Caster to ropes to leap frog and SUPERKICK, then SPEAR! Cover, Bowens breaks it! The ref reprimands and Mike is annoyed, but he stays on Caster.
Mike CHOPS Caster in the corner, then brings him out to BRAINBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Mike was also too busy mocking the scissor fingers, but he tags Taven. The Kingdom mugs Caster and Rampage returns to single picture. Fans rally for The Acclaimed as Taven throws hands. Taven whips, Caster reverses but Taven reverses back to HEEL KICK! Cover, TWO! Caster hangs tough but Mike tags in. The Kingdom mugs Caster, Mike rolls Caster up, TWO! Tag to Taven, the Kingdom mugs Caster more. The Kingdom talks trash on Daddy Ass, “SUCK IT!” Fans boo and Billy gets hot, but Caster fires off on The Kingdom!
Caster runs, but Maria trips her! Mike fireman’s carries, Taven runs, SAMOAN DROP and JUST THE TIP! Mike sucker punches Bowens while Taven covers, TWO!! Mike is annoyed, Billy storms up on Maria! Maria scurries away, Mike warns Billy to leave her alone, but Top Flight is here! Darius & Dante have beef with The Kingdom over ROH, but Mike hurries to the ramp! Billy CLOBBERS Mike!! And tells him “SUCK IT!” Taven argues with the ref, something about Maria’s shoe, but Caster hot tags Bowens! Bowens rallies on Taven, Billy pats Mike’s head. Taven reverse aw hip but Bowens hurdles to fire off a mule kick, front kick, and LEAP FROG FAMOUSER!
Fans fire up, “EVERYONE LOVES THE ACCLAIMED!” Billy sends Mike in for the Five Tool Strike Fest! But Taven rolls Bowens up with tights! TWO!! ROLLING ELBOW!! Bowens fires up, he tags Caster, and THE ARRIVAL sets up the MIC DROP!! Cover, The Acclaimed win!!
Winners: The Acclaimed, by pinfall
Menard says, “We did it!” What? Well, the JAS are happy The Acclaimed won, but will they convince Caster & Bowens to join up? Or will The Acclaimed be their own brand of sports… enner-tay-ners?
A great Rampage, especially for being on a different night. Another great TNT Championship match, though it would seem that again, QT and crew help Hobbs win when Hobbs shouldn’t/doesn’t need that. Sure, it’s standard Heel behavior that, should you have a faction behind you, you use them to cheat. Except it’s also overused in this day and age, as we’ve seen that enough in WWE with The Bloodline, and already see enough of that in AEW with the Jericho Appreciation Society. Hobbs should either see it for himself, or be told by someone else, that he doesn’t need QTV dragging him down. This is definitely a situation of “they need you more than you need them,” because what would QT even be doing if he wasn’t Hobbs’ manager?
Great match from Hager and Brody, and just as I was wondering where the JAS’s female members have been, Anna Jay attacks Julia. Anna VS Julia could be some really good stuff, maybe even give us some form of Mixed Tag before the Trios Championship blow-off. Good promo from Starks in that he didn’t wanna do a promo but fight. And of course Juice uses the typical Heel move of teasing a fight but then backing out of it. April 5th, the Dynamite after the wild weekend in Los Angeles, will surely be a good one with Starks VS Juice on it. And good vignette for Omega VS Cobb to get their promos from earlier in the year. Omega VS Cobb next week could go either way because Omega’s AEW story doesn’t need the US title, and it’d be big if the United Empire started grabbing up belts again.
Good promo from Swerve, nice cameo from Nine, and I do appreciate that Swerve is adding more members to his faction. In fact, depending on who this mystery recruit is, they could be more a replacement for Trench and Parker as, no offense to either guy, they’re just big meat. Trench hasn’t had a debut match yet, so he must still be training. And Parker’s matches always come out as him just mauling his opponent and he isn’t even the best at that. If Swerve finds a guy who is big and talented, that’d be an improvement. Hell, where’s Nick Comoroto? He isn’t palling around with QT right now, make him an Affiliate.
Good squash on Leila Grey from Taya. Of course she’s not gonna stop using her chicken wing facebuster, that was obvious from the moment Sterling mentioned the Cease & Desist. And great main event match from Acclaimed VS Kingdom. Good commentary from Menard and Parker, as well as good tease for an “out on the town” promo with them and The Acclaimed. Good move having Top Flight show up, too, since they’re building a rivalry with The Kingdom on ROH. As I said for the ROH article, Top Flight and The Kingdom should definitely get in on the #ReachForTheSky ladder match to both settle their feud and possibly crown one of them the NEW ROH World Tag Team Champions.
My Score: 8.7/10
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Mitchell’s AEW Dynamite Results & Report! (3/22/23)
Independence is Dynamite!
Dream matches, grudge matches, title matches, oh my!
The AEW World Tag Team Championships, Moxley VS Grayson, Hook VS Stokely under NO DISQUALIFICATIONS, and Kenny Omega VS El Hijo del Vikingo, all on one night!
- Six Man Tag: Orange Cassidy, Darby Allin & Sting VS The Superbad Squad; Cassidy, Darby & Sting win.
- AEW World Tag Team Championships: The Gunns VS Top Flight; The Gunns win and retain the titles.
- No Disqualifications: Hook VS Stokely Hathaway; Hook wins.
- Jon Moxley w/ Wheeler Yuta & Claudio Castagnoli VS Stu Grayson w/ The Dark Order; Moxley wins.
- Toni Storm w/ The Outcasts VS Skye Blue; Storm wins.
- Kenny Omega VS El Hijo del Vikingo; Omega wins.
PLAY BY PLAY
There’s a medical emergency backstage!
Hangman Page is on the phone with someone while Brandon Cutler gets in the ambulance. Cutler tells Hangman to make sure someone’s with Nick, meaning MATT Jackson is in the ambulance! The ambulance drives away, and now Nick is loaded into a second! The Young Bucks were attacked before cameras were rolling, Don Callis calms Kenny Omega down, and Hangman rides with Nick. Omega has his main event match with AAA rival El Hijo del Vikingo, but who went after his best friends?
Six Man Tag: Orange Cassidy, Darby Allin & Sting VS The Superbad Squad!
Freshly Squeezed is still a champion, as he retained the now AEW International Championship in Canada. But now, a familiar foe is rearing his Superbad head once again. Kip Sabian is bringing Butcher & Blade with him to go after Cassidy while his Best Friends are down and out. But will Cassidy’s new pals be more than enough to turn back the Superbad Squad?
The trios sort out and Cassidy starts against Kip. Fans rally and chant for “FRESHLY SQUEEZED!” but Kip copies Cassidy putting his hands up. Cassidy rushes in, Kip gets around and waistlocks to headlock. Cassidy powers out, headlocks back, but Kip powers out, only for Cassidy to slip around and headlock again. Kip powers out, things speed up and Cassidy arm-drags, but Kip cartwheels through! Kip mocks Cassidy, Cassidy rushes in but Kip dumps him out. Kip fakes Cassidy out with an Arabian Press, then he mocks putting his hands up again. Cassidy rushes back in, dodges Kip now, and sends him out!
Cassidy mocks Kip, then puts his hands up. To put his hands in his pockets! Kip rushes in, Cassidy dodges and SHOTGUNS! Cassidy kips up and fans fire up, but Kip scrambles away to tag in Butcher. Butcher eggs Cassidy on, but fans cheer as Cassidy tags in STIIIING! The Icon steps to Andy Williams and Andy talks trash. Butcher swings a forearm, but Sting just brushes it off! Butcher throws another forearm, but then Sting counter punches! And back hands! And punches again! Sting kicks low, ROCKS Butcher, then fires off in the corner. But Butcher claws at the eyes! The fans boo but Butcher BITES Sting’s forehead!
Butcher BLASTS Cassidy and Darby, then mocks Sting’s howl. Butcher runs, but misses the splash! Sting runs to hit the STINGER SPLASH! Fans fire up as Sting snapmares and gets the legs! But Blade and Kip attack! Fans boo but Darby and Cassidy fight them off! Kip throws Cassidy out, Blade scoops and dumps Darby out, then the Superbad Squad coordinates. Butcher & Blade reel Sting in, Butcher tags Kip, and then they DOUBLE SUPLEX Sting! Kip goes up the corner, but Sting slow rolls away, a la Cassidy! Speaking of Cassidy, he and Darby go after Butcher & Blade on the outside! Fans fire up but Kip is frustrated.
Kip storms over to another corner and climbs up again, but Sting slow rolls the other way! Fans fire up, Darby reaches out and makes the tag! Kip leaps, Darby gets under to SLAP, HEADBUTT, roll and CODE RED! Cover, TWO! Kip is still in this and Penelope Ford gets on the apron! The ref reprimands her while Darby whips Kip. Kip reverses, Darby goes up the ropes, but Blade trips him up! Darby hits the mat hard, Kip stomps away, and fans boo while AEW goes picture in picture.
Kip drags Darby up while Butcher sends Cassidy into barriers! Kip hits a FISHERMAN SUPLEX! Bridging cover, TWO! Tag to Blade, the squad mugs Darby, then they send him into a corner. Blade runs in to CHOP! And CHOP! And then snapmare to PENATLY KICK! Cover, TWO! Blade drags Darby over, tags in Butcher, and they DOUBLE HEADBUTT Darby down. Butcher drags Darby up to CHOP him back down. Butcher drags Darby up to bump him off buckles, then he tags Kip. Kip stomps Darby, then taunts Sting. The ref reprimands Kip but that allows Blade to CHOKE Darby! Kip howls, tags Blade, and the mugging continues.
Blade brings Darby up to ROCK him with a forearm. Blade brings Darby around to whip him to ropes, to then POWERSLAM! Cover, TWO! Tag to Butcher, he stomps Darby, then ties up the legs. Darby throws hands from below, but Butcher still drags him into a TEXAS CLOVERLEAF! Darby endures, claws his way around, but even Penelope taunts him with shouting, “TAP! TAP!” Dynamite returns to single picture as Darby crawls towards his corner, only for Blade to swing him out into a POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO! Darby survives but Butcher tags Kip. Kip drags Darby up to wrench an arm and whip. Darby uses that to BLAST Butcher & Blade!
Kip runs in, blocks Darby’s boot and spins Darby around to back suplex. Darby lands on his feet, but his knee jams! Darby crawls and scrambles, but Kip drags him back! Kip catches Darby, Blade trips Sting! Blade sends Sting into barriers! Darby sunset flips Kip, Kip stays up so Darby lets him go to hot tag Cassidy! Fans are thunderous as Cassidy eggs Kip on! Kip rushes Cassidy but gets a buckle bump! Cassidy goes up top, and CROSSBODIES! Cassidy keeps moving, he ducks ‘n’ dodges to tilt-o-whirl DDT! And kip up! Fans are thunderous again as Cassidy gives Kip those “devastating” kicks! But then Butcher runs in to CLOBBER Cassidy!
Fans boo and the ref reprimands, but Butcher brings Cassidy up. Butcher lifts but Cassidy fights the bomb! Blade gets in, they DRAG THE LAKE!! Kip covers, TWO!! Cassidy survives and Kip is furious! Kip howls, runs and CANNONBALLS! Fans boo but Kip soaks it all up. Kip is too busy having fun, he misses Cassidy tag STIIIIING! Sting walks up to give those same “devastating” kicks! Kip thinks it’s Cassidy, and turns around into quite the surprise. Sting “beats” his chest, Kip swings, but into a LARIAT! Sting really fires up, and he rallies on the Superbad Squad! Kip springboards, but Sting catches him! SCORPION DEATHLOCK!!
Ford freaks out, Blade gets up and throws hands, but Sting doesn’t flinch! Butcher adds on, the 2v1 is too much and Kip gets free. But Darby returns to fire off on Butcher & Blade! Butcher blocks one, CLUBS Darby and then hoists Darby up. Darby BOOTS Blade, BITES Butcher’s hand, then runs to DOUBLE COFFIN SPLASH! Butcher & Blade bail out but Darby builds speed, into Kip’s body shot! Kip avoids Orange’s punch, to suplex, STUN-DOG MILLIONAIRE! Then Cassidy DIVES to take out Blade! Darby hops up to THROWBACK STUNNER on Kip, then he DIVES into Butcher!
Sting has Kip in the dragon sleeper, and fans are thunderous for the SCORPION DEATH DROP!! Cover, Sting’s team wins!
Winners: Sting, Darby Allin & Orange Cassidy
A huge win for the unlikeliest of trios, and Cassidy adorns Sting with the sunglasses! As for Darby, he is looking at the Double or Nothing banner. The Relentless One wants at MJF and the gold, will he be living it up in Las Vegas?
AEW shares backstage footage from last week.
After having his “Re-Bar-Mitzvah” interrupted by Darby Allin, Sammy Guevara and “Jungle Boy” Jack Perry, it was obvious Maxwell Jacob Friedman was mad. He curses up a storm, then says he is the world champion! But Darby Allin says the world title means much more than money and fame. It is him being him. And Jack Perry, for himself, his family, and everyone who supported him all this time, he is going to become champion on his own. Sammy says that the world title is his destiny! He said so since episode ONE of Dynamite that he is going to be world champion. But MJF says that’s not how it works! You don’t waltz up to the champ and call your shot, you EARN it!
MJF has beaten Darby, Sammy and JB once each in 1v1 competition in their AEW careers, and he tells them they have to become #1 contender. Good luck trying, because all three of them SUCK! Sammy says he’ll win as many matches as it takes to get that belt off MJF. JB says that you can check the record books. He’s already won more matches than any of them. Darby says he’s beaten Sammy and he’s beaten JB, so he will stop at nothing to make sure that MJF is no longer champion. Who of these three Young Pillars of AEW will be THE one that challenges MJF at Double or Nothing?
AEW takes a closer look at tonight’s main event dream match.
Excalibur narrates that, “In 2021, there was no one hotter in professional wrestling than Kenny Omega. Known as ‘The Belt Collector,’ Omega won championships around the world, including in Mexico, where he won the AAA Mega Championship. At the same time, El Hijo del Vikingo was quickly establishing himself as one of the premier luchadors in all of Mexico. A match was made for December 2021: Vikingo, Omega, for the first time ever for the AAA Mega Championship. Unfortunately, Omega’s injuries at Full Gear were so severe, they required surgery, keeping him out of action for nearly a year.
“Now, with Omega back at 100%, the dream match is on for tonight. Kenny Omega, El Hijo del Vikingo, live!” Who will come out as truly the best today?
AEW World Tag Team Championships: The Gunns VS Top Flight!
They may not be the Young Bucks, the Lucha Brothers or the Hardy Boyz, but Austin & Colten are the brother tag team reigning over AEW. But will they soon find out they are not nearly as good as they think they are? Or will the Gunns cause the Coldest Tag Team in the Game to melt down?
The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and we see who is really the better brother duo!
The teams sort out, Austin starts against Dante, and Independence taunts the “ASS~ BOYS!” Austin tunes that out, knuckle locks with Dante, and then he CHOPS! Austin goes up and up, but then says no no no. Austin hops down, swings on Dante, but misses! Dante knuckle locks and CHOPS, then he goes up and up and FLYING ARM-DRAGS! Dante kips up and fans fire up! Austin tags Colten, but Dante arm-drags Colten down! Tag to Darius, the Martins double whip and speed things up, to then DROPKICK Colten down! Austin runs in, but into a DROPKICK! The Gunns regroup, but the Martins double clothesline them up and out!
Fans fire up as Dante says they’re getting those belts. The “ASS~ BOYS!” regroup and Colten slides back in. Tag to Austin, he and Dante circle again, and Austin gets around to shove Dante to ropes. Dante BLASTS Colten before the cheap shot! Dante then goes up and over Austin, only for Austin to pull hair! The ref reprimands, but misses Colten HOTSHOT Dante down! Fans boo as Austin stomps and Dynamite goes picture in picture.
Austin whips Dante out of the ring, then taunts Darius to distract the ref. Colten stomps away on Dante! Colten puts Dante in before anyone notices, and Austin bumps Dante off buckles. Tag to Colten, he stomps Dante, but lets off as the ref reprimands. Colten stomps some more, he and Austin taunt Independence and Darius, then Colten drags Dante up. Colten DECKS Dante, then mocks the fans. Colten ROCKS Dante, ROCKS him again, then suplexes. Cover, TWO! Colten stays between the Martin brothers, drags Dante over and bumps him off buckles. Tag to Austin, he stomps Dante now, then digs his boots in.
The ref reprimands but Austin mocks the fans rallying for Dante. Austin lets off and Colten CHOKES Dante! Colten lets off Dante before he gets caught, and Austin tags Colten in. Colten drags Dante up, whips him to ropes, and the Gunns body shot, knee lift and LARIAT! Cover, TWO! Colten stays between the Martins again, drags Dante up and whips him to the corner. Colten runs in but Dante dodges the splash! Austin tags in and hurries to stop Dante. Austin shoves Dante down, but Dante fakes Austin out to go under! Austin still grabs a leg, tags Colten back in, and the Gunns double back suplex! But Dante lands on his feet!
Dynamite returns to single picture, Dante goes over Austin, over Colten, and tags in Darius! Darius rallies on the Gunns and fans fire up! Darius hits an atomic drop on Austin, then LARIATS Colten! Mule kick for Austin, and Darius whips him at Colten. Austin reverses but Darius uses that to UPPERCUT Colten! Austin runs back in, but is sent into Colten! Darius uses Austin to get up and ENZIGURI Colten! Darius then GERMAN SUPLEXES Austin, and STANDING SPANISH FLIES Colten! Cover, TWO! Fans rally as Darius drags Colten up. Tag to Dante, Top Flight double whip, but Colten ducks and tags Austin!
Darius leaps to CROSSBODY Colten! Austin runs in, but into a hall nelson SLAM! cover, TWO!! Dante keeps cool, he goes to the corner, but Colten grabs his leg! Dante kicks Colten away, Darius DIVES onto Colten to hit him into railing! Dante GAMANGIRIS Austin, goes up and up and NOSEDIVES!! Cover, Colten breaks it!! Fans boo but Colten was within the rules. Wait, is that THE KINGDOM!? Mike Bennett & Matt Taven are mugging Darius over their ROH losses! But Dante FLIES out onto them! Direct hit and fans fire up! Dante hurries back up, springboards again, but Austin gets under!
Colten gets in, Dante runs into a 3:10 TO YUMA!! Cover, the Gunns win!
Winners: The Gunns, by pinfall (still AEW World Tag Team Champions)
Fans boo that the Gunns win, but Darius is pissed at The Kingdom! Darius chases off Mike & Matt, will Top Flight get revenge in ROH? As for the Gunns, they hear FTR coming! Fans fire up again as Dax Harwood & Cash Wheeler step out on stage with mics in their hands! Colten gets a mic to have the FTR music stop. Colten says no one wants to hear that song and no one wants to see FTR. Fans boo because they disagree. FTR says they’re not here to fight. They’re here to talk business. Well, no one wants to hear you talk! The Gunns don’t like or respect FTR. And guess what? FTR are LOSERS! They lost three sets of belts, and lost to the Gunns!
There is nothing FTR can say or offer them to get a rematch. NOTHING! Nothing? So like, if they said they’ll never challenge the Gunns again for those titles should they lose- NO! Do you not hear what Austin is saying, “you hillbillies? NOTHING! There’s NOTHING! What do you have to offer?! NOTHING!!” Then if the Gunns wanna prove their first win wasn’t a fluke, should they win against FTR again, FTR will never tag together in AEW again. Oh, the break up? So heartbreaking! LOOK AT HIS FACE! NOTHING!! Okay, okay. Dax says if FTR can’t beat the Gunns to win the AEW World Tag Team Championships, FTR will just quit AEW.
Fans boo, but it seems that got through to the Gunns. If the Gunns beat FTR again, FTR leaves AEW forever? Yes, that’s what Dax said. Well, in that case, deal! The Gunns and FTR shake on it, but then Gunns literally spin in FTR’s faces! The Gunns run for it, but the match is coming either way. Will the “ASS~ BOYS!” get their asses kicked? Or will they be the team that banishes FTR from AEW?
Backstage interview with Jade Cargill, Leila Grey & Mark Sterling.
Renee Paquette is with the AEW TBS Champion, her Last Baddie Standing and her legal representation. Renee says that Taya Valkyrie is All Elite now, and she has her eye on the TBS title. What is Jade’s reaction to that? “Renee, cut the sh*t. We had this Taya girl come in and interrupt my moment to answer an open challenge that was already closed, baby girl. And then, had the audacity to use my finisher. Mark, tie this up.” Sterling has a document, it is a Cease & Desist order. This will be sent to Taya Valkyrie, telling Taya that she is no longer allowed to use the chicken wing facebuster, which is also Jade’s move, as her finisher.
Leila says that she should deliver this document to Taya personally, this Saturday on Rampage. Because she has a few words of her own for Taya. So that’s an official challenge? Yes. Welcome to #ThatBitchShow. Will La Wera Loca have a jaded response to this frivolous lawsuit?
No Disqualifications: Hook VS Stokely Hathaway!
An injured arm turned into a suspension turned into a settlement turned into a high stakes bet that The Firm lost, and now it has resulted in this match. And though Ethan Page, Matt Hardy, Isiah Kassidy, Lee Moriarty & “Big Bill” Morrissey see Stokely off, they can’t stay per the stipulations of the bet. As the introduction says, “He’s not as large as the men he represents, he has the heart of a lion and the wisdom of an owl.” But will any of that help him defeat The Cold-Hearted Handsome Devil?
As Hook makes his entrance, Stokely grabs the mic to say, “Whoa, whoa, whoa! I’ve got some breaking news! I spoke to Dr. Simpson (he means Sampson) earlier, and he said I am not medically cleared to compete. I know, I know. I wanted to so bad. And I would also, what a coinky-dink, announce that I am retiring.” What? Stokely thanks all 12 of his fands, God bless! Justin, here, doctor’s note. Make it official. Justin takes the note, and it reads, “He is SICK.” Justin says that with all due respect, that’s a receipt for Wingstop. The ref RIPS the receipt! And the bell rings! Fans fire up and Hook is ready, so Stokely bails!
Stokely runs around the ring, out to the crowd, but Hook pursues! Fans fire up as Hook chases Stokely down, drags him back, CLUBS him, then brings him over to KNEE and TOSS! Stokely ends up at ringside again and fans are thunderous! Hook stalks Stokely, Stokely runs in to UPPERCUT, but Stokely bounces off of Hook! Stokely scurries away, gets back up, and runs in, but into a leg capture! EL CAMINO to the floor! Fans fire up as Hook drags Stokely up, puts him in the ring, and then looks under the ring. Fans fire up more, because here comes a SPARE GUARD RAIL! Hook puts that in the ring while the Firm can only watch.
Hardy tries to calm the group down, Stokely can take care of himself with things getting “hardcore.” Ethan says no he can’t, they didn’t practice any of the hardcore stuff! Stokely bails out again but Hook puts the railing in a corner. Hook drags Stokely up but Stokely BLASTS Hook with the fire extinguisher! Fans boo but Stokely gets a chair! Stokely smacks the steps a couple times, he says, “I’m not a killer, but don’t push me! That’s Tupac.” Stokely hurries in, fans rally up, and Stokely swings, but Hook blocks! Hook BOOTS Stokely, then SMACKS him on the back! And again! And again! And again!
Hook throws the chair aside, Stokely is barely moving! But Hook drags Stokely up to EL CAMINO onto the railing! The railing BENDS! Hook drags Stokely off the railing, covers, but then pulls him up at TWO! Hook wants REDRUM!!! Stokely is OUT, Hook wins!
Winner: Hook, by submission
The FTW Champion could’ve ended it sooner, but he chose to teach Stokely a lesson: Do not get on Hook’s bad side. Hardy says Ethan must avenge Stokely! Ethan can beat Hook! Hardy is gonna get a match made right now! All Ego is ready, but will he be ready when they #SendHook?
Adam Cole is here!
Fans fire up as the Undisputed One heads to the ring. Naturally, everyone joins in on the “BOOM!” and “ADAM COLE BAYBAY!” Cole gets the mic and says, “Wow. Hey, hey, I think I know the answer to this, but who’s ready for Storytime with Adam Cole, baybay?” Everyone cheers! Cole continues with, “Seven days. We are just seven days away from me making my in-ring return here in AEW. And listen, I know I’ve talked a ton about my struggles and what I went through, but as far as how I’m feeling right now? Guys, I feel freaking great. I have never been more ready, never been more prepared, to get back in this ring, doing what I love, and that is wrestle for AEW.”
Fans are fired up, and Cole knows everyone has questions. “The biggest one being: Who is my opponent going to be on March 29th?” Fans echo, “Who? Who? Who?” Cole starts to speak, but here comes Daniel Garcia! Fans boo as Red Death has the mic to say, “Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Who’s ready for Storytime with Daniel Garcia, baybay?” Garcia knows Cole’s been gone awhile, so here’s an update on a few things. Fans tell Garcia to STFU already but Garcia says since Cole’s been gone, Garcia’s become a real veteran in AEW. All the boys in the back respect him so much that he is a locker room leader!
Fans boo more but Garcia says as locker room leader, it is his duty to come out here to not only welcome Cole back, but to put him in his place, too. Garcia says Cole may not remember, but here’s an update on what Garcia’s been doing the last nine months while Cole was home, “playing stupid video games on Twitch.” Cole smirks but allows it. Brody King: beat him! Ricky Starks: beat him! Bryan Danielson: Garcia beat him, too. Garcia’s main-evented more AEW programming over the past year than anyone else on the roster! Garcia is the lifeblood that pumps through this company. And he’s to respect Cole? To welcome Cole back? Where’s Garcia’s warm welcome?
Where is Garcia’s respect when he’s been here, been doing this, and proved himself as one of the best pro-wrest- Oops. Freudian slip there? Garcia corrects himself, “Sports entertainers on the planet today!” That’s what Garcia is! So what makes Cole so special? “What makes me special? When they ring the freakin’ bell, that’s what makes me special! That’s what makes m e special.” Cole admits he likes Garcia. Garcia is really, really good. And some day, he could be leading the charge in AEW. The problem is the company he keeps.
“The Jericho Appreciation Society, they’ve done a great job of giving you this false sense of security. This overconfidence, which sometimes is good, and sometimes is bad. But let me remind you, even me not wrestling for nine months, I am still Adam Cole Baybay. I am a multi-time world champion. I have traveled the globe, fought and beat some of the very best! As a matter of fact, while I was sitting at home for nine months, I was wondering if I’d ever get the chance to wrestle again, hoping, praying, willing to do anything for a second chance. And looks like I found that second chance.”
Fans fire up and Cole says if Garcia is crazy enough to want the match, then dammit, he’s on! Adam Cole VS Daniel Garcia, first-time-ever, next week on Dynamite! But Cole will remind Garcia of something: “This is not just my return match; this is a statement. It’s a statement to the entire locker room that one of the best damn pro-wrestlers on the planet is BACK, baybay.” Fans are fired up for “ADAM COLE! ADAM COLE!” Cole hopes Garcia realizes what he’ sin for. Because Cole promises next week will be a great night. A great night for Cole, for the fans, but for Garcia… Not so much. “See you next week, Garcia. BOOM.”
Cole is ready, Garcia is ready, but will the Dragonslayer stay a great sports enner-tay-ners? Or will the pro-wrestler in him rise to the surface against one of the greatest pro-wrestlers alive today?
Alex Marvez is outside The Elite’s locker room.
Marvez can hear a conversation going on inside, and he steps inside. Callis and Omega are talking, and Callis wants Marvez to hold on. What is Omega’s concern here? Omega’s concern is that his best friends left in an ambulance! He should’ve gone with them! Callis says he sent Cutler and Nakazawa with them. Omega has a match tonight! Hear Callis out. He’s a glass half full kind of guy. Injuries happen, but hear him out. The Bucks going to the hospital might’ve been the best thing for Omega and Callis. It allows for focus! Omega is in a singles match, the God of Pro-Wrestling is back! “Those kids will be fine in a few months.”
Callis now has Marvez join in. “Kenny Omega VS El Hijo del Vikingo is gonna blow the roof off! The God of Pro-Wrestling is BACK, and it starts tonight on Dynamite! Now get out.” Marvez throws this back to ringside, but is Callis only thinking of his benefit, not Kenny’s?
Jon Moxley w/ The Blackpool Combat Club VS Stu Grayson w/ The Dark Order!
The Maniac, along with Claudio Castagnoli & Wheeler Yuta, have torn into the Dark Order from Silver to Reynolds to Evil Uno. They did all that to anger Hangman Page, but they’ve also angered #PlayerTwo! Moxley may be #ForgedByCombat, but will he survive someone born and bred for combat?
The bell rings and Stu RAMS Moxley into a corner! Fans fire up as Stu fires off on Moxley but lets off as the ref counts. Moxley turns things around to CHOP! And CHOP! And CHOP! Moxley pie faces Stu, but Stu turns things around to CHOP back! Stu stalks Moxley to another corner, KNEES him and CLUBS him, then stalks him to a third corner. Moxley kicks low, ROCKS Stu with a forearm, then another, then digs his boots in. The ref counts, Moxley steps off at 4, then Moxley drags Stu up to headlock takeover. Stu keeps his shoulders up, the Dark Order coaches him up but Moxley gets a knuckle lock cover. TWO as Stu gets his left arm up.
Moxley pushes the hand down, covers, TWO as Stu gets the right arm up. Moxley pushes that arm down again, covers, ONE as Stu gets his left arm back up. Stu fights to his feet but Moxley kicks low. Moxley headlocks, Stu powers out but Moxley RAMS him! Moxley runs, but Stu RAMS him! Moxley runs in, clips Stu but is sent out of the ring. Stu hurries out after Moxley, Moxley throws a chair! Stu avoids it, ROCKS Moxley and puts him in the ring. Moxley kicks back, but Stu RANAS! Stu fires forearms, CHOPS Moxley in the corner, then throws knees. Stu whips corner to corner, Moxley reverses and avoids the up ‘n’ over!
Moxley reels Stu in for a SAIDO! Stu staggers up but then flops out to the apron. Moxley runs to BLAST Stu off and to the barriers! Moxley flips Stu off while Dynamite goes picture in picture.
Yuta & Claudio taunt Stu as the ring count climbs. The Dark Order coaches Stu up and he gets in the ring at 5 of 10, but Moxley is right on him. Stu throws a forearm, then another, and another, and another! But Moxley ROCKS Stu with just one! Stu falls over and Claudio yawns. It seems this isn’t competitive enough for the Swiss Superman. Moxley has the legs, he stomps Stu in the stomach, then ties the legs up. But Stu fights back with fists! Moxley still powers Stu into the TEXAS CLOVERLEAF! Stu endures as Moxley sits deep, and he reaches out to the ROPEBREAK! The ref counts, Moxley lets off at 4.
Moxley drags Stu up to CHOP, but Stu CHOPS back! Stu fires forearms, whips, and DROPKICKS Moxley! Moxley goes to a corner, Stu is after hm with a whip, but Moxley reverses to clothesline! Moxley then brings Stu out to X-PLEX! Moxley paces around, the BCC applauds, but the Dark Order coaches Stu. Moxley reels Stu in, lifts him, and hooks the legs to hit the GOTCH PILEDRIVER! Cover, TWO!! Stu is still in this, but Moxley has the knuckle locks back. Dynamite returns to single picture as Moxley rains down the DRAGON STOMPS! Cover, TWO!! Stu hangs tough again, but Moxley just taunts him.
Fans rally, Stu rises, and Moxley KICKS him in the chest! And KICKS him again! Moxley eggs Stu on, then KICKS him more! Moxley SLAPS Stu! Stu snarls and stands up to fire off forearms! Stu whips, Moxley reverses but Stu CLOBBERS him! Stu dodges, tilt-o-whirls and REVERSE DDTS! Then he rains down HAMMER ‘N’ ANVIL ELBOWS! Fans fire up as Stu gives Moxley a taste of his own medicine! And then the SIDE EFFECT! SPRINGBOARD MARIPOSA! Cover, TWO!! Moxley survives and Stu grows frustrated. Stu hurries up a corner, but Yuta distracts! Fans boo but the Dark Order storm up on the BCC!
Stu decides to change course, he ARIHARA MOONSAULTS onto Yuta & Claudio! But Moxley DIVES onto Stu! Moxley puts Stu in the ring, hurries after him, but Stu BOOTS Moxley down! Stu hurries back up top, for the 450 SPLASH!! Cover, TWO!! Moxley survives again and Stu is shocked! But Stu slashes the throat and drags Moxley up. Torture rack, but Moxley slips off right into the BULLY CHOKE!! Stu endures, but he’s turning red! Moxley shifts to the facelock to throw in KNEE after KNEE! Then he shifts to the REAR NAKED CHOKE! But Stu fights up to his feet! Fans fire up but Stu is fading again!
But Stu is still on his feet, and he revives! BACKPACK CANNONBALL!! Both men crash into buckles and Stu is free! Fans are thunderous again and Moxley sputters back to his feet. Moxley brings Stu up, but Stu slips out of the underhooks! PELE!! Moxley falls down and the BCC coach him up. Stu goes back to a corner, climbs back up top, but Moxley ROCKS him first! Moxley climbs, CLUBS away on Stu, then CLAWS Stu’s back. Moxley HEADBUTTS Stu, brings him up into underhooks! SUPER DEATH RIDER!! Cover, Moxley wins!!
Winner: Jon Moxley, by pinfall
The Dark Order hurry into the ring and Moxley backs off, there won’t be any extracurriculars here. But will the Dark Order ever get payback on the mean SOBs in the BCC?
Backstage interview with Ricky Starks.
Renee says she can feel the frustration coming off The Absolute. The back ‘n’ forth with him and Juice Robinson, where do they stand? You tell him! Starks is “sick and tired of talking back and forth. No action, all talk.” Starks doesn’t wanna stand around, take time off his vacation, just to say Juice, he doesn’t like that you attacked him from behind. That’s cool and all, but whatever! How about this, though? Saturday Night Rampage, Starks is done talking. If Juice wants to face him man to man, then he can find Starks on Rampage! If not, just stop! Starks is over it, he is so sick of it! This is the craziest thing he’s been a part of his whole life!
Starks is issuing the open challenge to Juice. If Juice accepts it or not, is a man or not, Starks doesn’t give a damn anymore. The Absolute will be waiting, but will the Booster oblige?
AEW presents an all-new episode of QTV!
QT Marshall says great job last week in their debut, keep the “credibility train” rolling. CHOO-CHOO~! He needs scoops! Harley Cameron says she actually has discovered a “hot new prospect.” Goes by the name of Rey Fenix. And actually, here’s some footage. Hobbs POUNCING Fenix into buckles int heir TNT title match, and the spinebuster, and the Town Business. Everyone has a laugh, and QT says, “Imagine being in the Lucha Brothers, and your own lucha brother doesn’t come out to help you.” Aaron Solo says there is definitely some miedo! Then he laughs while also puffing mouth spray…?
QT asks who the hecc is Alex Abrahantes? Harley says Alex should work on his “character development.” Speaking of, how about Solo stealing Wardlow’s identity and freezing all of his accounts? Oopsie~! Yeah, Wardlow’s gonna lose his house and car, too! And Solo hacked into some observer’s accounts, started this whole thing about hotels. HAHA! QT just got a call from Hobbs. This Saturday on Rampage, another Open Challenge for the TNT title! Can’t wait to see who is the next chapter in the Book of Hobbs. Well, wait no longer! PENTA wants payback for Fenix as he answers the call! Will Hobbs be the one with some fear?
Toni Storm w/ The Outcasts VS Skye Blue!
The Lightning From Down Under has been striking down “spoiled rookies” again and again, but in the Dark. Will she do so again in the spotlight of Dynamite? Or will Skye roll the Storm away?
The bell rings and Storm BLASTS Skye with a forearm! Then she stomps a mudhole into Skye in the corner! The ref counts, Storm lets off but she grins and soaks up the heat. Soho & Saraya mock Skye, then Storm bumps her off buckles., Skye elbows back, fires forearms in return, and the fans fire up! But Storm knees low! Storm whips Skye, Skye kicks back! Skye ROCKS Storm again and again, but Storm shoves her away. Skye comes back, spins Storm for a KNEE SMASH and a DROPKICK! Storm bails out, fans fire up and Skye goes to the apron! FLYING RANA! Fans fire up with Skye but Saraya is mad.
Skye puts Storm in the ring, climbs up the corner, but Storm ROCKS her! Skye falls to the apron, then Storm HIP ATTACKS Skye to the floor! Storm distracts the ref, allowing Soho & Saraya to stomp away on Skye! Fans boo but the Outcasts get away with it! Saraya says, “This is OUR house!” Storm goes out to fetch Skye, and RAMS her into the apron. Storm CHOPS Skye against the post, then bumps her off the other. Storm CHOPS Skye again! Saraya says do it again! Storm puts some stank on this one, but Skye ducks, so the chop hits POST! Saraya & Soho panic as Storm clutches her fingers! Skye then runs in, but Storm dodges so Soho gets DECKED!
Storm CLOBBERS Skye from behind while the ring count climbs. Storm refreshes the ring count, Saraya shouts at Skye, and Storm CHOPS Skye again. Storm stalks Skye around the way as Dynamite goes picture in picture.
Storm drags Skye around to snap suplex her to the floor! Storm flexes, perhaps taunting Jamie Hayter wherever she’s watching this from, and then she goes back for Skye. Storm puts Skye in the ring, flexes more, then drags Skye up. Storm whips Skye to ropes, BOOTS her down, covers, ONE! Cover again, TWO! Another cover, TWO!! Skye is still in this but Storm clamps on with a full nelson. Storm leans on the hold, thrashes Skye around, but Skye endures. Skye fights up, but Storm throws her down by her hair! The ref reprimands but Storm just stalks Skye. Storm kicks Skye around, has her in the corner, and digs her boot in.
The ref counts, Storm stomps but lets off at 4. Storm drags Skye up to snap suplex! Storm grins then stalks Skye. Storm drags Skye up to snap suplex again! Storm flexes more, stalks Skye to another corner, then wrenches her hair to TOSS her across the way! The ref reprimands but Storm just wrenches hair and TOSSES Skye again! Dynamite returns to single picture as Storm soaks up the heat. But Skye shoves Storm down! And then TOSSES Storm by her hair! And again! Skye fires up, runs corner to corner, but Storm puts her on the apron. Skye ROUNDHOUSES! Skye climbs up, to CROSSBODY!
Fans fire up, Skye keeps moving, she ducks ‘n’ dodges to tilt-o-whirl headscissor! Storm ends up on ropes, Skye runs to SHINING WIZARD! Snapmare and SUPER- NO, Storm blocks and spins Skye, but Skye BASEMENT ENZIGURIS! Cover, TWO!! Storm survives and Skye grows frustrated. Saraya & Soho are also frustrated, they rally for Storm but the fans rally for Skye. Saraya tells the fans to shut up! Skye runs, hops on, but Storm shrugs her off! Skye SUPERKICKS! Skye runs, into a THESZ PRESS! Storm rains down fists, then she snarls as she stands back up. Storm gets the legs, but Skye kicks her away!
Skye runs in, only for Storm to spin her around! Storm uses the ropes, TORNADO DDT! Cover, TWO!! Skye survives and fans fire up! Saraya is furious but the ref says the count was fair. Skye goes to a corner but Storm says kiss this. SWEET HIP- NO, Skye picks the ankle! Skye KNEES Storm, runs, avoids Soho’s swipe, and she hits CODE BLUE!! But Soho is still distracting the ref!! Skye would’ve had this if not for Soho! Skye gets in Soho’s face, swings at her, but Storm runs in! Skye sends Storm into Soho, rolls and bridges, TWO!!! Storm stands, into a BOOT! Skye full nelsons, Storm arm-drags free to SHOTGUN Skye down!
Saraya says Storm has this now! Storm says kiss this, and here comes SWEET HIP MUSIC!! GERMAN SUPLEX, and then STORM ZERO!! Cover, Storm wins!
Winner: Toni Storm, by pinfall
The Outcasts with the assist, but now they bring out the spray paint! Fans boo as the Outcast scare off the ref, then surround Skye! But here comes Riho and Willow! Just like last week, Riho has the pipe!! Riho runs the Outcast off and warns them. The Outcasts leave for now, having gotten the win. Will Riho, Willow and Skye start thinking of sticking together from now on?
The AEW medical staff checks on Stu Grayson.
They’re working on his left arm, where did they feel it pop? But then Moxley sneaks up to say, “It’s just business.” And he puts on the SLEEPER!! Claudio & Yuta TOSS the medics aside! Stu is all alone as Moxley chokes him out, then SMACKS him off a trunk! The BCC give Stu the icepack back then leave, what will Hangman & the Dark Order have to say about this?
Kenny Omega VS El Hijo del Vikingo!
The AAA Mega Championship match that was meant to happen in December of 2021 was denied because of injury and misfortune. But now we are all fortunate enough to have this match happen here! “HE was the longest reigning Mega Champion at 765 days, 292 days more than El Hijo del Vikingo. HE never lost that title. HE is undefeated in singles matches in Mexico and also on Dynamite. Many people say HE is also undefeated at life. HE is often complimented on his accomplishments, matches, chiseled physique and hair, yet he is personally proud of his win-loss record in Independence, Missouri, which is better than his record of 1-1 in… NOOOORTH CAROLINA~!
“He arrives tonight after his 833 mile journey from Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. Weighing 224 pounds, HE is…! KENNY! OOOOOOOOOOOOMEEEEGAAAAAA~!” The fans go wild for the Cleaner, the Best Bout Machine, and Don Callis’ God of Pro-Wrestling, but will Omega prove he is better than the Mega Champion?
But as Omega makes his way down the ramp, El Hijo del Vikingo DIVES onto him! Fans fire up, EHDV throws off his cape, then he runs again, to FLY! Direct hit again and Independence is thunderous! EHDV puts Omega in the ring, springboards and MISSILE DROPKICKS! Omega ends up in a corner, EHDV runs in to clothesline! EHDV fires off forearms, but Omega turns it around to fire them back! The ref wants them to let off, this isn’t a match yet! Omega rains down fists, lets off, and now the bell rings! Fans are thunderous as Omega stomps EHDV down. Omega drags EHDV up, whips him corner to corner, but EHDV slips out to the apron!
Omega hits buckles, then EHDV ENZIGURIS! And GAMANGIRIS! EHDV climbs up, and jumps to IMPOLODER DRAGONRANA! Omega goes flying, then staggers up into the SCREW HIGH KICK! Omega’s on the ropes, EHDV runs to DOUBLE KNEE him through the ropes! Omega falls to the floor, EHDV refreshes the count, and fans say “This is Awesome!” EHDV SHOOTING STAR PRESSES to the floor! A bit double-edged, but fans lose their minds! Callis protests, the ring count climbs, but EHDV puts Omega in the ring. EHDV aims, slingshots and then springboards to 450 SPLASH! Cover, TWO!!
Omega goes to a corner, EHDV runs in to GAMANGIRI again! Omega staggers away, EHDV pursues but Omega CHOPS! And CHOPS again! EHDV falls over but Omega stalks him to a corner. Omega brings EHDV up to JAB! And JAB! fans rally and duel, Omega drags EHDV up to whip. Omega scoops EHDV for a tilt-o-whirl BACKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Omega drags EHDV back up fast, to fisherman BUSTER! Cover, TWO! EHDV hangs tough and Omega is frustrated but the fans are loving this. Omega stalks EHDV to the ropes, scrapes him to the apron, and then Omega goes out to follow EHDV.
Omega CLUBS EHDV, and whips him hard into barriers! EHDV falls in a heap, but Omega goes looking under the ring. Omega brings out a TABLE! Fans fire up for that, and Omega stands that table up near the ring. The ref reprimands, this isn’t a Tables match or anything like that. But fans chant, “WE WANT TABLES!” as Dynamite goes picture in picture.
Omega drags EHDV up, puts him in the ring, and Omega storms up to scoop and BACKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Omega clamps on with an armlock and chinbar, but he also fishhooks EHDV’s face! The ref reprimands, Omega lets off, but then pulls on EHDV’s hair! The ref counts but Omega lets off at 4. Omega looms over EHDV, stomps him, stomps him more, then springboard stomps! Omega drags EHDV around to KNEE him in the side! And again! Cover, TWO! EHDV hangs tough but Omega just snarls. Omega drags EHDV up to CHOP him back down! Omega drags EHDV up again to CLUB him back down!
Omega drags EHDV up at the ropes, ROCKS him with a right hand, then ROCKS him again! And again! And again! The ref reprimands and counts, Omega lets off, but then Omega CHOKES EHDV with his foot! Dynamite returns, the fans boo and the ref counts, but Omega lets off at 4 again. Omega ROCKS EHDV again, JABS him, then whips him to ropes. EHDV ducks ‘n’ dodges to tilt-o-whirl RANA! Omega goes to the apron, fans fire up as EHDV pursues! EHDV ROCKS Omega, but Omega tomahawk chops back! EHDV CHOPS, but Omega CHOPS! EHDV CHOPS back, so Omega BOOTS him! Omega runs in, goes up, and he MONKEY FLIPS EHDV on the apron!
EHDV falls to the floor while fans lose minds over how tight that one was. Omega drags EHDV up to the apron, and he grins as he looks at the table he set up. Omega drags EHDV up, the ref reprimands but Omega full nelsons! EHDV slips free to GAMANGIRI again! EHDV goes up top, balances on the post, and FLYING DRAGONRANAS!! Fans are thunderous as Omega hits the floor! Omega flounders into the ring, EHDV shoves him further in. Fans say “This is Awesome!” as both men go to corners. EHDV runs corner to corner to clothesline! EHDV hoists Omega up top, and GAMANGIRIS yet again!
EHDV climbs up after Omega, fans fire up again as they start to brawl! Omega HEADBUTTS, reels EHDV in, and SUPER POWER- STEINER!!! EHDV reverses just in time, Omega clutches his head! EHDV goes to the ropes, stands from the middle and PHOENIX SPLASHES in!!! Cover, TWO?!?! Omega survives by nanoseconds!! Independence is electric as both men rise up! They hope these two “FIGHT FOREVER!” but it has to end somehow! EHDV throws a forearm, a SOBAT, and then he runs to springboard, into a POWERBOMB!! And then another POWERBOMB! Roll through and V-TRIGGER!! Cover, TWO!!!
Omega is furious as EHDV survives! Omega slashes his throat, drags EHDV up, and he full nelsons for a SNAP DRAGON SUPLEX! Omega snarls, he puts EHDV on the ropes and takes aim. BANG and V-TRIGGER!! But that’s not the end of it! Omega drags EHDV up, deadweight as he is, and Electric Chair Lifts! But EHDV throws down fists! EHDV hops down, UPPERCUTS, then goes up and up to FLYING POISON-RANA!!! Omega tumbles to the apron, and EHDV crawls over to push him onto the table! EHDV builds speed while fans fire up, and he goes up to ESCALARA 630 SENTON through the table!!!!
Independence is volcanic for “A E DUB! A E DUB!” while Callis is freaking out! Both men are down in the wreckage as the ring count starts. EHDV crawls away at 3 of 10, Omega finally stirs at 4. Both men drag themselves up at 6, stand at “OCHO!” And both men slide in at 9! EHDV covers, TWO!!! Omega is still in this and EHDV is beside himself! Fans rally up, both men rise again, and EHDV throws a haymaker! Omega gives it back, they go back and forth, faster and faster! They go forearm for forearm, stand up, and keep throwing shots! EHDV gets the edge, SOBATS, runs, into a V-TRIGGER!!
Omega whips, EHDV rolls up and SUNSET FLIP BOMBS! TWO?!?!? Omega narrowly escapes again and even HE is shocked! But EHDV hurries to a corner and climbs up top! Omega flounders in the drop zone, EHDV 630 SENTONS but FLOPS as Omega moves!! EHDV flounders up, into a V-TRIGGER!!! Omega drags EHDV up, Electric Chair Lifts, ONE WINGED ANGEL!!!! Cover, OMEGA WINS!
Winner: Kenny Omega, by pinfall
This was a dream match the moment it was made, but this became an all-time classic by the end! Tony Schiavone joins Callis and Omega in the ring to say this was an incredible match. Omega is back in singles competition, and that was one for the ages! Omega thanks Schiavone for that. The more time goes by, the more he wonders if he can still do this kind of stuff for the fans. Wait, wait! THE BCC JUMPS OMEGA!! Moxley, Claudio & Yuta all mug Omega, and fans boo while Callis can only shout at the ref to stop this! The BCC stand Omega up so they can throw body shots and haymakers!
Fans continue to boo, but wait! Sirens? An ambulance has returned? For who? Wait, HANGMAN is driving it!! The Cowboy has a 2×4, with nails in it! Fans are going nuts for “COWBOY SH*T!” while the BCC stomp away on Omega. But here comes Hangman, wood in hand! The BCC decide to bail! Callis checks on Omega but the damage has been done. Hangman wants Moxley to get his ass back in here, but he stays back. Callis tries to calm Hangman down, but he almost gets 2×4 to the face! Callis keeps pulling at Hangman’s arm to hold him back, but Hangman shakes free and Callis falls right down! Omega comes to, and misunderstands why Callis is down!
Callis blames Hangman but Hangman says he didn’t do anything to Don! Omega and Hangman argue, Callis cowers behind Omega, and Omega takes Callis’ side. Fans boo, but is this just Callis keeping Omega all to himself?
A great episode of Dynamite, but it already feels like they’re gonna keep things going until Double or Nothing, no big thing for April. We got a great promo out of the Four Young Pillars, and MJF is making the other three run the #1 contender race like he did Bryan Danielson from now until, I dunno, probably May 3rd so that May can focus on building MJF VS his challenger. Hard to say who it’ll be, but Darby’s off to a good start with that great Six Man Tag. Darby, Sting and Cassidy made an eclectic but great combination, especially with Sting borrowing some Freshly Squeezed tactics. And Cassidy’s International Championship card is open to just about anyone at this point.
Really good tag title match, but I should’ve figured shenanigans would help The Gunns retain. The Kingdom and Top Flight are solidly ROH Tag title contenders with #ReachForTheSky needing teams. Plus, The Gunns’ real story is with FTR, who came back to have a really good promo with them. Gunns VS FTR, Titles VS AEW contracts could honestly go either way. There’s a lot of talk out there of FTR going back to WWE since it’s under HHH right now, so this move could be how FTR exits AEW, but this could also be what guarantees FTR staying. Either way, this is going to be some really big stuff for the titles.
Good promo from Jade and her group, and you do have to appreciate Sterling’s gimmick of bringing about frivolous lawsuits on behalf of people to poke fun at wrestling tropes. The security guards finally got justice, even though they also got crushed by Wardlow, and now finishers that are exactly the same but with different names are being questioned. Pretty sure Leila loses the match and Taya tears up that document, though. Then it’ll be about who hits the chicken wing facebuster first to win that title. Jade has done an amazing job being an undefeated inaugural TBS Champion, but now is the time to move on to someone else so Jade can move on to the top title.
Great segment out of Hook, Stokely and The Firm. Great show from Stokely with trying to weasel out of this, then trying to run away from this, but of course he gets thrown around. Awesome use of spare guard railing, though. I figured Hook VS Ethan was going to be how this wraps up, can’t wait to see how that goes. And I appreciate Starks getting a little meta on the bad pacing of feuds. Starks VS Juice for Rampage, if it happens, will be great stuff, and maybe shenanigans helps Juice win to keep this going. Though, I feel like Starks and Juice could each be doing something better than spinning their wheels with each other. Give me Starks VS Hobbs and Orange VS Juice for those respective titles.
Speaking of which, only the second QTV segment and I’m just done with it. But they did point out the weird logic of Penta not being out there with Fenix last week. Penta VS Hobbs will probably go the same as Fenix VS Hobbs did, and Wardlow will come back for revenge. Also, another wrestling trope that needs poking at: Solo confessed to illegal activities but he won’t get investigated or arrested because it’s wrestling. If Sterling were a Face lawyer, he’d be right on Solo’s ass. But maybe Wardlow beats the crap out of Solo as his punishment, then he gets his shot at Hobbs at Double or Nothing to put this story to rest.
Great promo from Cole and Garcia, and I appreciate they had Garcia have that slip of the tongue. Garcia is of course enjoying the fun side of being a sports entertainer, showing off his personality and just doing whatever shenanigans he wants, but he also clearly enjoys the pro-wrestling stuff of just fighting. Garcia VS Cole is going to be awesome stuff, but Garcia and the JAS also have their story with the House of Black so who knows how the finish goes. Great match out of Storm VS Skye, and Skye looked great even in defeat. Another inconsistency in wrestling logic: Riho & Willow should’ve been ringside to start because they know The Outcasts will be up to no good. But I suppose that does give Riho & Willow their moment of heroism in running the Outcasts off.
I bring up that inconsistency in logic because that match was after Moxley VS Grayson, where both men had their allies ringside. The men can think to bring their boys but the women’s division can’t think to bring their friends along, when we’ve also always seen Britt have Rebel and/or Hayter and vice-versa? Anyway, great stuff out of Moxley VS Grayson, and Grayson also looked awesome even in defeat. The BCC apparently went after everyone Hangman considers a friend, as the Bucks were taken out off-camera by them, and then the BCC jump Grayson.
And then, for being a non-title TV main event, Omega VS El Hijo del Vikingo went above and beyond anything I would’ve expected. There were some scary moments, like that Super Steiner counter to the powerbomb. But then again, it wouldn’t feel like an AAA match if there wasn’t some risk like that. BCC jumping Omega after he wins was a good way to keep the Elite reunion story going, but now there’s the new wrinkle of Don Callis wanting Omega to stay a singles star. To be fair, this is very much like the story of Callis, Omega and The Elite when AEW first got started. Callis wants Omega to return to that Omega, and he throws Hangman under the bus.
Another pro-wrestling logic thing is that no one watches the show back when it’s done, unless it helps the story. And I would hope Omega does that here to see what really happened as opposed to just trusting Callis and distrusting Omega. Or if not Omega, the Bucks can. The Bucks will have seen it on TV at the hospital (kayfabe) and The Bucks will tell Omega that Hangman didn’t hit Callis. Callis is also trying to recruit Konosuke, so it’d be great if Callis only comes out of this with one client. If Omega realizes not to trust Callis over The Elite, then Callis and Konosuke can stick together. If Omega still keeps Callis around, Konosuke can reject Callis to stay his own man.
My Score: 8.9/10
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