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Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (4/24/20)

Time to Celebrate The Game!

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WWE SmackDown Coverage 3.0

SmackDown and the WWE celebrate 25 years of Triple H!

Time to Play the Game! SmackDown helps celebrate 25 years of the Cerebral Assassin, Triple H! Plus, the WWE Women’s Tag titles are on the line!

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Men’s Money in the Bank Qualifier: Drew Gulak w/ Daniel Bryan VS King Baron Corbin; Corbin wins and advances to the Men’s MITB match.
  • Sheamus VS Daniel Vidot; Sheamus wins.
  • The Miz & John Morrison VS Lucha House Party; LHP wins.
  • Women’s Money in the Bank Qualifier: Lacey Evans VS Sasha Banks; Evans wins and advances to the Women’s MITB match.
  • WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships: Bliss-Cross VS Carmella & Dana Brooke; Bliss-Cross wins and retains the WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships.

PLAY BY PLAY

HHH, XXV!

Twenty-five years of The Game! Celebrate this quarter century of excellence tonight on SmackDown!

 

The New Day are here!

AWWWWW~ people at hooome~! The now EIGHT-time W, W, E, Tag, Team, CHAMPIONS~ are back on SmackDown! Big E and Kofi get all up on the announce desk before going to the ring. EIGHT TIMES, BABY! Put some respect on the name of Big E. Big E defeated the odds and won these titles for the team. Put some respeck on the name! But there’s no one here to clap… But yes, the “girls” are back around their waists! And speaking of which, late last night, Big E was- WHOA WHOA! Let’s not get into that here. But what they will get into is the historical context of what the New Day has accomplished. Kofi doesn’t want to brag but there’s no shame in being proud. They have more title reigns than: The Hart Foundation; The British Bulldogs; The New Age Outlaws; Demolition; and Edge & Christian!

Again, that’s not to brag, but to proudly declare their names are beside some of the greatest of all time! Eight is more than even the future hall of fame, now Tampa Bay Buccaneer, Tom Brady! Tom is in Tampa, baby! Beautiful! Sorry, Kofi, we know you’re a Patriots fan. But wait, here come Lucha House Party! Lince Dorado and Gran Metalik are here to be the first to congratulate the new champions. That’s #LuchaLit. But what’s not lucha lit is sitting in the back watch team after team get the opportunities that are not coming to the Lucha House Party. Tonight, LHP wants to challenge for the titles. But the former champions appear! The Miz and John Morrison just go right past LHP and to the ring.

“Really? Really?” The New Day come out like they’re legitimate?! They won the titles in a singles match! Miz & Morrison have been getting the short end of the stick since they got those titles! Their first defense: inside the Elimination Chamber! Their second defense: a singles Triple Threat Ladder Match! And as they just referenced, the third was another travesty in another singles Triple Threat match. But the New Day have never beaten Miz & Morrison in a traditional tag match. They don’t know who is pulling the strings for the New Day, but Miz & Morrison demand a fair fight. Miz & Morrison elevated those titles (Hey Hey!) They elevated the entire SmackDown Tag Division (Ho Ho!) But the New Day make those titles into JOKES! Miz & Morrison want the match tonight!

But Metalik tells Miz and Morrison to “CALLATE!” Shut up! The Miz & Morrison had their chances, now it’s time for LHP to get theirs. Morrison, you wrestled in Mexico. What exactly did he say? He said he respects Miz as a man, a wrestler and as an American. Big E confirms that’s not what he said, but he won’t repeat it. Well what did he say? Lince speaks up that Metalik said- “Do unto others!” No, wait, that’s just the Forgotten Sons joining in. Steve Cutler, Wesley Blake and Jaxson Ryker head to the ring and their mere presence riles everyone up. Miz asks who the hell these guys even are. Laugh it up. Cutler gives the introductions, and these three served their country. But ever since they come home, they’ve been treated like trash. And while you don’t know them now, y’all will know them soon enough. Because they are the ones who will reign over this division, and they will be #ForgottenNoMore.

Well maybe you don’t know The Miz. How dare you interrupt him? There is a thing in the WWE called respect. Miz has been here for 15 years! You’re a POSER! Miz was a Marine in the movies, but standing before you is a real United States Marine. So maybe shut your mouth. Blake says they’re cut from a different cloth, and have skills both physically and mentally that some would call “savage.” And the thing about these three is that they could strike anywhere, at any time, and no one will see it coming. And Blake throws the first punch! We have a brawl of all 9 men!

Miz shoves Lince into Cutler and Cutler throws Lince out. Miz and Morrison bail out to let the others fight. Cutler CLOBBERS Kofi while Ryker drags Big E up. Big E fights back but gets DECKED! Ryker rains down rights then Blake drags Big E up. Cutler is up top and leaps, MEMORY REMAINS! Ryker drags Kofi up to BOMB onto Big E! The Forgotten Sons make an impact, will the New Day remember this well?

 

SmackDown shares a HHH XXV Flashback!

1995, Hunter Hearst Hemsley debuts in the WWE! The Connecticut Blue Blood was a noble gentleman, who was anything but gentle in the ring. The Pedigree was proof that being a champion just comes naturally to him.

 

Renee Young interviews Miz and Morrison backstage.

She asks them what their plan is to deal with the Forgotten Sons. The Forgotten Sons? Who cares! They were more upset with Lucha House Party. Lince and Metalik started that fight! But what Miz and Morrison will do is have a match with them, and make it right esta noche. Will things be bueno or mal for los ex campeones?

 

Men’s Money in the Bank Qualifier: Drew Gulak w/ Daniel Bryan VS King Baron Corbin!

The Goat is now the coach as the Philly Stretcher looks to join him in this year’s very special Money in the Bank “corporate ladder” match! But the Wolf King wants to rebound after his recent string of setbacks. Will Corbin’s determination bring him to brutalize Gulak the same way he did Elias last week?

The bell rings and Corbin circles with Gulak. They tie up and go around, and Corbin whips Gulak out of the ring! Gulak lands on his feet but Corbin taunts Gulak and Bryan. “You think he belongs in the ring with the big boys? This is for big boys right here.” Gulak gets up an in and circles with Corbin. They tie up again and Gulak gets low to trip Corbin. Gulak goes for a cover but Corbin slips out before a count. Gulak gets a headlock and SLAPS Corbin on the top of his head! Corbin gets up in a huff and pushes Gulak away. Gulak eggs Corbin on and the two tie up again. They end up on ropes and the ref calls for a break. Gulak gets loose and throws hands. Corbin deflects and eggs Gulak on now. Gulak dodges, Corbin dodges and Corbin throws heavy hands! Corbin elbows Gulak down and then throws haymakers.

Gulak comes back for the leg but Corbin blocks with leverage. Gulak wrenches and dropkicks the leg! He ROCKS Corbin and Corbin bails out of the ring. But Gulak wrecks him with a baseball slide dropkick! And then a shotgun dropkick! Gulak sends Corbin over the desk! Gulak hops up on the desk to loom over Corbin as SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns as Gulak has Corbin’s arm and cranks on it. Corbin pushes Gulak back to a corner then whips him corner to corner. Gulak goes up and over but Corbin slides out then in! Corbin LARIATS Gulak down! Cover, TWO! Bryan coaches Gulak, referencing his own MITB win as proof it can happen for the smaller guys. But Corbin throws big forearms on Gulak to keep him down. Corbin stomps Gulak around then rams his knee into the corner. He drags Gulak out but Gulak goes after the leg. Corbin pries Gulak off but Gulak rolls him up! TWO, and Corbin knees low again. Corbin wristlocks and lifts for a YOYO SLAM! Cover, TWO! Corbin grows frustrated but Bryan rallies behind Gulak. Corbin drags Gulak up and to a corner to stomp away on the legs. The ref counts but Corbin lets up at 4.

Corbin grins as he tells Gulak to give up. Gulak blocks the stomp and throws haymakers in return! Gulak backs Corbin down and Bryan fires up for him! Corbin pushes Gulak away but Gulak dodges a clothesline to dropkick Corbin into buckles! Gulak runs, into a choke grip! Corbin lifts but Gulak sunset flips! TWO, and Corbin walks into a back elbow. Gulak runs to crossbody! Cover, TWO! Gulak grits his teeth but he’s still focused. Gulak goes for another baseball slide but Corbin dodges. Corbin goes to kick but Gulak blocks it! Gulak dragon screws Corbin into the steel steps! The ref counts but Bryan coaches Gulak up. Gulak climbs up top while Corbin gets in the ring. Gulak leaps for a big flying elbow! Cover, TWO!! Corbin survives and bails out, and then The Artist Collection attacks Bryan from behind! They drag him over the barriers and RAM him into the LED pillar!

Gulak goes out and clobbers Cesaro! Nakamura taunts Gulak, but Corbin shoves Gulak into a post! Corbin puts Gulak in, reels him in, for END OF DAYS! Cover, Corbin wins!

Winner: King Baron Corbin, by pinfall (advances to the Men’s MITB Match)

SmackDown has its second entrant! Will the Wolf King climb the corporate ladder back to success?

But wait, he and the Artist Collective aren’t done. They drag Gulak up while Corbin gets his scepter! Corbin uses it to SMASH Gulak in the head!! Will Corbin move on to become the King in the Bank?

 

Rob Gronkowski is going back to the NFL!

He’s reuniting with Tom Brady on the Tampa Bay Buccaneers! But wait, Gronk is still WWE 24/7 Champion! As seen on WWE Backstage, R-Truth has already put Gronk on notice via social media, but will it be that easy to tackle Gronk and take the title back?

 

Sheamus VS Daniel Vidot!

The Celtic Warrior was once Mr. Money in the Bank. There is still one spot open for SmackDown’s side, but no match has been made. Will Sheamus impress management enough to be put in that match?

The bell rings and Vidot takes the fight to Sheamus! But Sheamus powers him into the corner and fires off heavy hands in return! Sheamus lets up, just to come back with more! Sheamus clubs away on Vidot’s back then knees him in the head and shoulders! Vidot wobbles up but Sheamus says Vidot disrespected him. Sheamus gives Vidot ten beats of the Bodhrain! “I will NOT be disrespected!” Vidot stands up and Sheamus hits him with a BROGUE!! Cover, Sheamus wins!

Winner: Sheamus, by pinfall

The Fella just fell another opponent, but still has a lot to do in his mission to toughen up SmackDown. Will he at least get his opportunity at climbing the corporate ladder?

 

SmackDown presents the Jeff Hardy Story, Part 3: The Redemption.

Jeff’s recovery was helped by his being a father. After the arrests that piled up, he never wanted his girls to see that side of him again. Ruby and Myra deserve better. Ruby is named for the Hardy Boys’ mother, Ruby Moore Hardy. And Jeff knows that his mother would be greatly disappointed. She helped him through his ordeal, and that’s a fact. Jeff knew he and Matt Hardy would have to return to the WWE. It is where it all started, it is where it should all end. And so, WrestleMania 33 in 2017, it was a top secret that they arrived in Orlando for the event. Jeff admits he was a ball of nerves. But Michael Hayes told him one thing: breathe.

The New Day were the hosts of WrestleMania, and gave the Hardys their introduction for the Raw Tag Team Championship Ladder match that went from a Triple Threat to a FATAL 4 WAY! The crowds lost their mind, and the Hardys won the titles. It felt natural for them to be back, and what better match than a ladder match for Jeff to be Jeff? Jeff will never forget that night. He had gone through dark times, but coming home to the WWE was one hell of a way to start this newest chapter. How will the Charismatic Enigma’s story end? Well Part 4: The Comeback, is next week!

 

SmackDown has another HHH XXV Flashback!

In April of 1998, Degeneration X waged war on WCW! HHH led Road Dogg, Billy Gunn, X-Pac and Chyna on an invasion! “We have seen the enemy, and they are near.” Fans joined in on a march as DX fired the first shot in the Monday Night Wars!

 

The Miz & John Morrison VS Lucha House Party!

The Hollywood A-Lister and the Guru of Greatness might be aiming their anger at the wrong team, but the Golden Lynx and King of Ropes will still take them on. Will this showdown be AWWWESOME or #LuchaLit?

SmackDown returns as Sheamus suddenly returns! He again intimidates Michael Cole over the Jeff Hardy videos! What does Sheamus have against Jeff!? Meanwhile, LHP makes their entrance and this scheduled match begins with Miz and Lince. The two circle and Lince shows off his handspring. They tie up and Miz powers Lince to a corner. Miz swings but Lince dodges to kick away. Miz shoves but Lince rolls off the back to CHOP! Lince springboards into  a BOOT! Miz grins as he drags Lince up and CHOPS him back! He brings Lince over to tag in Morrison for the 21st Century Classic, catapult into forearm and then elbow drop on Miz’s knees! Cover, ONE! Morrison keeps on Lince with big forearms and kicks and Miz mockingly chants “Fight Forever!”

Lince tries to get past Morrison but Morrison tilt-o-whirls Lince to the Canadian rack! Morrison throws Lince but Lince arm-drags him away! Morrison gets up and pops Lince up. Lince lands on ropes and tags in Metalik. Morrison gets under the moonsault but gets an enziguri! Lince gives Metalik the boost for the SPLASH! Cover, TWO! Tag to Lince and Lince slides under Morrison to run, but into an Alabama Lift! ROLLING Alabama! And then Morrison keeps running to SHINING WIZARD! Morrison drags Lince up and tags in Miz. They double gut buster Lince hard! “That was awesome!” Miz drops to his knees to egg Lince on while throwing haymakers. He springboard stomps Lince down, then mocks the lucha chants. Miz drags Lince up and tags in Morrison. Miz BOOTS then Morrison SHINING WIZARDS again! Standing shooting star! Cover, TWO!

Lince gets to ropes but Morrison taunts him while choking him on the ropes. Morrison even taunts Lince in Spanish. Lince CHOPS back but Morrison counter punches and ROCKS him! Takedown and ground ‘n’ pound! Morrison is taking Lince to Slam Town! Morrison drags Lince up to whip, but still gets the GOLDEN REWIND! Tag to Miz and he keeps Lince away from Lince! Lince boots Miz away and tags in Metalik! Metalik springboards and crossbodies! He kicks and chops and whips, but Miz reveres. Metalik slides under the boot, Miz gets clear of the handspring to BOOT anyway! But Metalik BOOTS back! And hits a SLING-DOG! Metalik fires up as he goes up top, for a MOONSAULT! But onto knees! Miz kips up with a wobble but he and Morrison are fired up. “Hey hey! Ho ho!” Miz drags Metalik up by his mask then full nelsons. Metalik pops up to victory roll, and Lucha House Party wins!!

Winners: Lucha House Party, by pinfall

Don’t call it a comeback, LHP’s been here for years! But will this massive win go a long way to the luchadors becoming contenders?

 

Women’s Money in the Bank Qualifier: Lacey Evans VS Sasha Banks!

The Sassy Southern Belle and The Boss look to settle the score in a match that is incredibly important. Sasha keeps taking jabs at Lacey by fanning herself with a little cutout of Lacey’s daughter. Will Sasha regret that when Lacey takes literal jabs back?

The bell rings and Bayley distracts “Mommy” with the cutout. Lacey swipes at Bayley but that allows Sasha to attack from behind. Sasha stomps Lacey to the apron then goes out to follow her. But Lacey throws Sasha into barriers! Bayley checks on Sasha but Lacey grabs her. Bayley begs for mercy but Sasha RAMS Lacey into the post! That right hand takes the most damage, and Sasha puts Lacey in the ring. Cover, ONE, and Sasha gives the bad arm a code breaker! Lacey staggers up but Sasha stomps her down. Sasha keeps on Lacey in the corner, and bumps her off buckles. Sasha wraps the arm around the ropes and pulls! The ref counts and Sasha lets up at 4. Sasha runs back in to set Lacey sideways and club her down. STOCK DROP MISSES! Sasha staggers into Lacey’s BOOT! Lacey then rallies and clotheslines, even with the bad arm! Lacey BOOTS Sasha back down, then grits her teeth for the Penalty Kick!

Sasha ends up in a corner and Lacey runs in. But the bad arm gives out before she could complete the swinging bronco buster! Sasha SLAMS the bad arm into the post then KICKS it! Lacey staggers back while Sasha climbs up. METEORA! Cover, TWO! Lacey powers through the pain but Sasha is right after the bad arm. Sasha hammerlocks it and then adds on a chinlock. Lacey elbows out with her good arm then drop toeholds Sasha into buckles! Lacey runs in and manages to hit the swinging bronco buster after all! Sasha is driven further into buckles, then Lacey SLAMS Sasha’s head into the LED post over and over and over and over! The ref counts and Lacey stops, but Bayley talks smack. Lacey ignores Bayley to drag Sasha up. They go to the top rope but Sasha resists the suplex. Sasha throws body shots and stands on the bad hand! Sasha slips underneath to tuck Lacey in. She stomps away on the hand! And then brings Lacey up for a POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO!! Into the BANK STATEMENT!

Lacey endures, pries at the hold, and manages to roll free. Sasha keeps close but Lacey manages to backslide! TWO, and Sasha kicks the bad arm! Sasha runs but into a WOMAN’S RIGHT!! Lacey managed to hit her best move, and covers. But Bayley helps in the ROPEBREAK! “She’s got that ring awareness,” Bayley brags for Sasha. But as she brags, Lacey drags her into the ring! Sasha rolls Lacey u but the ref is shouting at Bayley! When he finally sees, ONE!! That would’ve been Sasha’s win! Bayley is mad at the ref but Sasha is mad at Bayley! Sasha turns around into another Woman’s Right!! Cover, Lacey wins!!

Winner: Lacey Evans, by pinfall (advances to the Women’s MITB Match)

The best friends mess each other up and the Model Soldier cashes in! And just as Bayley and Sasha are leaving, Tamina’s music hits. And then Tamina SUPERKICKS Bayley! Sasha is not at all upset by that. But will Bayley be upset when she and Tamina face off for the SmackDown Women’s Championship?

 

SmackDown takes a look back at the storied past of Braun Strowman and Bray Wyatt.

The Wyatt Family welcomed a fourth into their flock. “Show the world the face of their destruction.” The Black Sheep, Braun Strowman, made his debut in 2015. Sister Abigail’s greatest gift and Bray Wyatt’s strongest follower would help him devastate The Shield, the Brothers of Destruction, and so many others. “It’s okay to be afraid. I don’t blame you. I will destroy anyone in my path! And I will pile the bodies to the sky, for the Eater of Worlds! Wake up, or run.” But oh where oh where has his monster gone? Fast-forward five years, after the Wyatt Family fell apart, and here we are now with a Monster Among Men and The Fiend.

It was on A Moment of Bliss that Strowman said no one knows Bray like he does. Yes, he was part of the family, but that was the part of the past he was putting behind him. Everything he has achieved, Strowman has done on his own. Greatest Royal Rumble, the Raw Tag Team Championships, the WWE Intercontinental Championship and at WrestleMania 36, the WWE Universal Championship when he defeated Goldberg. Bray didn’t create Braun, and Braun doesn’t owe Bray a thing. Now, Braun is on top! The past is the past, but sometimes the past comes back to haunt you. Bray wants his title back, but he gave Braun something back: THE BLACK SHEEP MASK! Bray says he brought Braun in from the swamp, but Braun betrayed his maker. Will the monster’s maker also be his destroyer?

 

SmackDown announces the last two MITB qualifiers!

For the men, the feud of Dolph Ziggler and Otis Dozovic raises the stakes! And then for the women, whether she is WWE Women’s Tag Team Champion after tonight, Carmella takes on Mandy Rose! Who will take the last spots in this year’s corporate ladder match?

 

Dana Brooke and Carmella meet up backstage.

They’re both ready for their tag title match, but Dana does bring up the MITB qualifier. Dana uses Carmella’s words last week to tease her, and Mella admits she has a point. Mella congratulates Dana on her successful entry, and now Mella is inspired. But they both agree to focus tonight and get the titles! Will this Fabulous Flex Appeal duo take gold before going for the money?

SmackDown has another HHH XXV Flashback!

May 2001, HHH attacks HBK, but also blows out his quadriceps. No one knew when or where he would make his return, but in only 8 months, The Game was back! January 2002, live on Monday Night Raw in Madison Square Garden, HHH appeared, stronger than ever!

 

WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships: Bliss-Cross VS Carmella & Dana Brooke!

We heard from the Fabulous Flex Appeal that they were focused on the golden goal at hand tonight, but is focus enough? Or will the best friends deny them their momentum heading towards MITB?

The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and this moneymaking match begins!

Dana dropkicks Nikki out of the ring but Bliss-Cross quickly regroups. But Mella LEAPS onto Alexa! So Nikki clobbers Mella! Nikki throws her into barriers, but then turns around into Dana’s crossbody! Dana is fired up for her team even though she’s the last one standing. Teams regroup as SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns as Dana dodges Nikki, but both women hot tag! Mella rallies on Alexa and bumps her off a boot! Mella moonwalks and runs in, for a FABULOUS bronco buster! Alexa sits up to get a FABULOUS KICK! Cover, but Nikki breaks it! Nikki bails out fast but Dana runs her over! Dana handspring back elbows Nikki into a post! Alexa wrecks Dana with a dropkick but Mella rolls her up! TWO and Alexa ROCKS Mella! Alexa puts Mella in the corner then climbs up top. Mella stops Alexa and the two brawl. Mella handsprings but Nikki tags in before the FABULOUS STEINER! Nikki catches Mella off-guard with a roll up, TWO! Nikki headbutts low then tags Alexa back in. Mella spins out of the Purge to mule kick! Nikki blocks the next kick, and flapjacks Mella up, for a Bliss-Cross 3D!! Cover, Bliss-Cross win!

Winners: Bliss-Cross, by pinfall (still WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions)

A new move has been added to the repertoire, and that helps Alexa and Nikki retain! How will this hurt Mella’s chances of qualifying for MITB? And who will step up to the tag titles next?

 

SmackDown announces another match!

Daniel Bryan and Baron Corbin are both in the MITB match, but after what happened tonight, they will go 1v1 as a little sampler! Will the Artist Collective help the Wolf King strike down another detractor?

 

HHH is here!

The Game heads to the ring and wants to give the WWE Universe another of his iconic spit sprays for his entrance, but someone takes his water bottle away! HHH is a little bummed as he gets in the ring and gets a mic. “Wow. It’s hard for me to even believe, 25 years.” HHH really- Wait, Shawn Michaels is here?! HBK wears an NXT baseball cap as he joins HHH in the ring with a mic of his own. Did HHH think he’d have this celebration without him? 25 years of The Game! One of the greatest WWE performers of all time, HHH, 25th year anniversary. And if you’re not down with that, he has two words for you. Social distancing. Keep your personal space, H. He loves you, but he can’t touch. Wow, those are the two words now? Well HBK is still here to celebrate, and sent out literally hundreds of invitations to HHH’s closest friends and loved ones. And we’re all here for you. Empty arena doesn’t help that, but at least Cole and Corey are here. Well they’re required. But HHH is still a draw! You still got it!

But to be serious, HBK and HHH have been friends all of those 25 years. Before celebrating, HBK never really got the chance to thank HHH for his 25 year celebration special. That was a good time, right? Remember that one? Uh, yeah, that was a wild night. Good times, good times. What was HHH’s favorite part of that? Well, so many moments. It’s hard to boil it down. Right, of course. Impossible. But if he had to pick just one, what would it be? HHH can’t pick- Yeah, because you didn’t give HBK a special!! But hey, HBK isn’t angry about that. Wait, HBK never got one? It never happened? Wow. HHH will make heads roll in the office. Okay, okay, kidding aside, this really is about letting the world know about the man HBK has known these 25 years. It was only a couple years into that friendship did they bring it live in the form of Degeneration X.

DX was money! They had good times, a lot of fun, and everything was perfect! One take wonders, and everything they touched turned to gold. In fact, DX’s (Not So) Great Moments play. There were outtakes in filming the many promos, of course. And some jabs, such as HHH relaying HBK’s DVD was only second best selling. First best was Taker. That guy beats HBK every time. And there were some odd moments during matches, such as HHH being out on his feet for a good minute before flopping down to the mat. But through it all, they were best of friends and always got along. Except for that one Christmas party… And, well, obviously they weren’t “one take wonders.” But even those stumbles never tripped HHH up. HHH went on to bigger and better. 14 world title reigns, numerous WrestleMania matches, and countless Mania moments. HBK says he’s Mr. WrestleMania, but those pale in comparison to HHH’s highlight reel.

And speaking of, here’s the HHHighlight Reel! His first WrestleMania: A loss to the Ultimate Warrior. His second WrestleMania: A loss to Kane. Many Manias later: A loss to The Undertaker. WrestleMania XXX: A loss to Daniel Bryan. Oh hey, WrestleMania XX was… A lost to HBK. And there was another loss to Taker. And a loss to Kurt Angle and Ronda Rousey in the Mania Mixed Tag Match. And of course, End of an Era was a loss to Taker. Then there was that loss to Randy Orton. And to Batista. And Roman Reigns! And Taker, John Cena, Seth Rollins, and as a reminder, Ronda Rousey. Hmm… 13 losses in 25 years… When you look at it like that, HHH wasn’t that good, was he? How many losses does HBK have? This isn’t about HBK.

But to actually actually be serious, HHH does want to thank a lot of people. Night after night, year after year, he faced many great athletes, as that highlight real showed. Taker, The Rock, Steve Austin, Batista, Mick Foley, HBK! It was incredible! Without those people, his career would be nothing. Then those people feel just as fortunate to have had HHH around. It was because of all those moments that HHH’s career began to take off. And then there was that, uh, hiccup, when HHH met “her.” Stephanie McNoFun! Nag, nag, NAG! Wait, HHH’s phone goes off. It’s Steph… She is watching right now, and it’s well-deserved, and now Shawn is talking about her? No, no, not at all! But, she’s watching it right now. No, no, he’s not mocking her. Yes, he is! She can SEE it because of the cameras! That no-good, lazy-eyed- Uh, bye, Steph! HHH hangs up and says Steph says hi. He looks great, by the way. Well, there are a lot of wacky people in HHH’s life. Oh he knows it.

Speaking of wacky, let’s not forget Ric Flair! Ric Flair joining him in Evolution was a special moment in HHH’s career. Oh hey, Ric calls now, too! The Nature Boy congratulates HHH on 25 years and is glad they’re having this for him. Ric is sure everyone in HHH’s family is proud, as are the fans in the WWE Universe. Thanks, Naitch. Just don’t let HBK superkick you at the end of this, okay? Yeah, sure. Ric gets emotional and says bye. HHH says Ric can’t help himself sometimes. Ric calls back, blubbering to no end, so SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns, and now Road Dogg has called in! Dogg jokes with HHH about his haircut. “You look like a Chia pet.” Is Ric crying? Yeah, he was. Oh okay, Dogg didn’t think Ric would get caught crying on live TV. Oh wait, they’re live now, aren’t they? Uh, yeah, Dogg. They are. Oh, okay, he forgot about his beard. HHH hangs up on Dogg and HBK says this needs to wrap. No, HHH called Fox to get clearance to go as late as they want. Good, because HBK hasn’t even gotten to that Katie Vick stuff. Wait! Is that Vince McMahon!? The Chairman is here! You didn’t think this would go without him joining in, did they? Well this is very special, so HBK will let Vince and HHH have a moment.

Vince congratulates Paul on 25 years. That is extraordinary. Under normal circumstances, Vince would come down there and give HHH a big bearhug, and maybe he and HBK would do an elbow bump. But there are certainly people around the world who are showing appreciation of this moment. Though, if there were fans live, the chant of “Triple H! Triple H!” would mostly be from family in the front row. The rest would be jeering, “BORING~!” Vince doesn’t think this has been incredibly boring, because there are things way worse than this. Like the Gobbledy Gooker! That was a long time ago. But Vince thought they needed a mascot for things, and then the giant egg hatches. Taker made his debut that same Survivor Series. Vince thought there’d be cheers for the giant turkey wrestler, but no. In fact, there weren’t even boos. It was just silence. Not that HHH was ever that bad, but it was… Well, it was Katie Vick bad.

Many don’t know, but it goes that Paul, Vince’s son in law, is naked in a “funeral home” with a mannequin for a corpse, and Vince still doesn’t know why HHH stooped to those depths. Boring and in poor taste. But Vince likens HHH’s performance out here to “Bayley, This is Your Life!” Remember that one? That was crickets. Not Bayley’s fault but hey. But seriously, Vince loves HHH. And HHH loves Vince. HBK isn’t left out, either. Tonight, this was god awful. What a way to go out! This SUCKED. To use a word HHH loves, this is rotten! If you haven’t put everyone to sleep yet, Vince will say good night. Good night, padre. Now wrap it up. Is he throwing them out? Vince leaves, the lights start coming down, and it seems this is the end of the night. Someone adds cricket noises just to prove a point. “Screwed up your career, buddy. Screwed up your career.” It wasn’t really that bad, was it?

 


 

My Thoughts:

A pretty good episode of SmackDown, and I love that the celebration of HHH basically became the roast of HHH. A shame they couldn’t do this with all the faces and names they mentioned live and in person, but this was a pretty great alternative. Vince obviously had the most tongue-in-cheek, reverse psychology promo of the bunch. It did feel a bit awkward since there were no fans to laugh along, but even Vince’s part was great. It is true that HHH has had a rather shameful WrestleMania win-loss record, and has had some very shameful segments as a character, but overall he has been a solid part of WWE history and will continue to be because of staying power, his brain being behind the NXT franchise, and obviously his marriage to Stephanie. Had to take my own playful jabs, heh.

The SmackDown Tag Team Division got some good play tonight. The promos and brawl to open the show was good, and clearly with The Revival moving on without hesitation, the Forgotten Sons are moving up into the aggressive Heel position. I do like that Miz & Morrison avoided confrontation with them to go after LHP. We got a really good match of those teams, and what a great surprise for LHP to get a win! I have been waiting for LHP to finally move up in the main roster rankings and this could be their chance, even though they did lose to Forgotten Sons last week. Sheamus wins against nWo Roman Reigns, and then scares the crap out of poor Michael Cole. Obviously this is leading towards Sheamus VS Jeff Hardy, but I feel like this is starting to force Cole into a role that parallels when good ol’ Jim Ross was strongly behind Stone Cold. I hope not, because then it feels like WWE trying to do something about former talent siding with AEW just because AEW pokes fun at WWE.

The MITB qualifiers were great tonight, with some really good story progression in each. I like that even in Sami Zayn’s absence, Cesaro and Nakamura going after Gulak and Bryan continues. Corbin qualifies so I was wrong about Elias costing him here, but maybe there are more attacks next week and Elias reinforces Bryan and Gulak for a quick Six Man before MITB. Or maybe Elias makes sure Corbin loses inside Titan Towers in the actual MITB match. Lace VS Sasha was really good, especially the part with Bayley inadvertently costing Sasha. Tamina got to stand tall against Bayley with that superkick, but I feel like this just means she won’t win. Then Bayley and Sasha can have a new feud where honestly, neither one has to turn back Face, they’re both just Heels trying to out-Heel the other. And then, if/when Sasha becomes the second-ever Women’s Grand Slam Champion, Ms. MITB cashes in.

Then next week’s MITB qualifiers sound great. I actually like that Mandy VS Sonya is being saved for later. Or at least, it looks that way. Sonya could easily attack Mella to take her spot against Mandy, but I feel like Mandy is winning either way. She and Otis should both get in so that there is a tease of them both being Mr. & Ms. MITB together. Of course, a tease means it won’t happen, but it’s always better to tease than not to. And if Mandy VS Sonya doesn’t happen next week, it really should be allowed to build past MITB to the next PPV (Extreme Rules, I believe) for some perfectly fitting No Disqualification intensity. Sonya’s promo from last week alone raised the ante on this, so a Women’s Extreme Rules with Otis and Ziggler sprinkled in on the side would be a great next step for this story.

My Score: 8.3/10


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Coverage

Mitchell’s WWE 205 Live Results & Report! (4/16/21)

Will Retro take down The Premier?

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Coverage 205 2021

Tony Nese defends that 205 Live is still HIS show!

The Premier Athlete says he IS Mr. 205 Live, but that could all change! Will August Grey lead the way for the purple ‘n’ orange?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Ashante “Thee” Adonis VS Jake Atlas; Atlas wins.
  • August Grey VS Tony Nese; Grey wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Ashante “Thee” Adonis VS Jake Atlas!

The Braggadocios learned savvy from THE Brian Kendrick, but in a roundabout way, the Muscle of El Monte learned aggression from The Psycho Killer! Who puts the lessons learned into practice now that WWE is past WrestleMania?

The bell rings and Atlas circles with Adonis. Fans rally as they approach, and Adonis gives a testing kick to the arm. Atlas shakes that off but Adonis kicks him again. Atlas eggs Adonis on, then swats the kick to wrench the arm! Atlas YANKS the arm, wrenches to an elbow breaker then clamps down on it. Adonis gets up but Atlas brings him back down. Adonis reverses the armlock but Atlas reverses it back. Adonis rolls Atlas but Atlas shifts right back to the armlock. Fans rally, Adonis fights up but Atlas shoves him away to then arm-drag on the rebound! Atlas grinds the arm, Adonis fights up, but Atlas whips Adonis to arm-drag again!

Atlas goes after the arm and wrangles Adonis back down. Adonis fights up but Atlas whips, only for Adonis to fake the arm-drag out! Adonis KNEES Atlas in the side, but Atlas shoves him! Adonis shoves back, they lock up and go around! They end up on ropes, the ref has them break. Adonis swings, Atlas ducks it but Adonis returns the favor. Adonis back suplexes, Atlas lands on his feet, slides under and runs, but into a LARIAT! Adonis seethes as he stalks Atlas to a corner, and then RAMS his shoulder in! Adonis throws EuroUppers, follows Atlas and throws more EuroUppers! Atlas CHOPS back! And CHOPS again!

Atlas CLUBS Adonis, CHOPS him in a corner, but Adonis kicks back! Adonis ROCKS Atlas in the corner, CHOPS him, and then whips him corner to corner. Atlas reverses but Adonis reverses back, only to miss in the corner! Atlas WRINGS the arm out, then goes up top! Atlas aims, but Adonis trips up the cartwheel! Atlas is stuck on the top rope, AIRDROP sends Atlas to the floor! Adonis goes out to fetch Atlas, and RAM him into boards! Adonis SLAMS Atlas’ arm into the steel steps! Adonis gets Atlas up an din the ring at 7 of 10, then covers, TWO! Atlas toughs it out and fans rally up as he crawls for ropes. Adonis gets the arm first, wrenches it, and uppercuts the triceps!

Adonis WRINGS Atlas’ arm in return, then covers, TWO! Atlas grits his teeth but Adonis is after the arm! Adonis wants a Fujiwara but Atlas turns it to a cover, TWO! Adonis still has the arm, shifts around and goes for the Fujiwara again! Atlas endures as Adonis bends the arm back, and he powers up to get around. Atlas throws body shots, Adonis CLUBS the arm, repeat! Adonis bumps Atlas off buckles, but Atlas elbows back! Atlas boots the clothesline away then back kicks, ax kicks and BOOTS Adonis! Adonis resists the waistlock and elbows free! Atlas EuroUppers Adonis, then rallies with clotheslines! Atlas spins Adonis to WHEEL KICK! Adonis staggers into a GERMAN SUPLEX! Cover, TWO!!

Atlas couldn’t hold Adonis down because of the bad arm! Atlas tastes his own blood in his mouth but that only fires him up! Fans rally as Atlas climbs a corner, but Adonis intercepts with a forearm! Adonis goes up, he and Atlas brawl up top but Atlas ROCKS Adonis! Adonis comes back to ROCKET LAUNCH Atlas down! Atlas slowly rises, Adonis climbs up and leaps, BIG CROSSBODY! Cover, TWO! Atlas survives and Adonis is growing frustrated. Adonis kicks Atlas to the apron. Adonis stands Atlas up, rolls him through the ropes, TWO! Adonis back drops but Atlas sunset flips, TWO! KNEE TRIGGER! And a ROLLING ELBOW!

Atlas GOURD BUSTERS Adonis to the drop zone, then goes up top. Atlas hits the CARTWHEEL DDT!! Cover, Atlas wins!

Winner: Jake Atlas, by pinfall

It seems Old Man Ciampa’s lessons paid off! Will Atlas lift himself up towards a title opportunity now that Santos Escobar isn’t the champion?

 

August Grey VS Tony Nese!

#RetroAG finally got payback on Daivari Dinero, then was weirdly congratulated by him after defeating Adonis a few weeks ago. Will Daivari congratulate Grey again when he defeats Daivari’s fellow 205 Live OG? Or will the Premier Athlete prevent the new wave from taking over his brand?

Well Daivari is showing which side he’s on by accompanying Nese to the ring! Though he does get left hanging on that fist bump. Daivari joins commentary as the bell rings and Grey circles with Nese. They tie up, Nese waistlocks and slams Grey down! Nese then flexes on Grey, but fans are on Grey’s side as he and Nese circle again. Grey and Nese tie up, Grey waistlocks, but Nese hooks a leg to get the drop toehold. Nese floats to a facelock but Grey slips out to a hammerlock. Grey reels Nese in, Nese resists but Grey wrenches a wristlock to then headlock. Nese tries but can’t power out as Grey grinds him down. Nese tries again but Grey still holds on tight!

Nese fights up, powers out, and things speed up. Nese hurdles, Grey headlocks to the takeover! Fans cheer as Nese endures another grind. Nese fights up, powers Grey to a corner, and the ref counts. Nese is set free but he whips Grey corner to corner. Grey goes up and over and hits another headlock takeover! Nese pushes with forearms but Grey grinds the headlock. Nese fights up, fans rally and Nese powers out. Grey goes up and over again but Nese goes up and over, too! Nese does jumping jacks just to show off. Grey runs, into an arm-drag, but he gets the headlock! Nese rolls Grey off but Grey does the jumping jacks in return!

Grey side-steps Nese, blocks the hip toss and dodges the clothesline to headlock again. Nese counters as he back suplexes Grey down! Nese kicks and stomps Grey around, covers, TWO! Nese grows annoyed as he gets Grey up and kicks him in the stomach! Fans rally for Grey but Nese hauls Grey up in a pump handle! Grey slips free, drop toeholds Nese onto ropes, then dials it up for a SLIDING STRADDLE! Grey ROCKS Nese with an uppercut, then climbs up, SHORYUKEN from Nese! Grey is stuck on the ropes, Nese runs in to TOP SHELF KICK, to the fireman’s carry and GUTBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Nese stomps Grey down and then looms over him.

Nese soaks up heat from the fans as he kicks Grey in the side. Nese whips Grey hard into the corner and Grey bounces off buckles! Nese flexes on Grey again and Daivari cheers the peak. Nese kicks Grey to a corner, Grey hits back with body shots! Grey throws haymakers but Nese hits a BIG back suplex! Cover, TWO! Nese goes to a corner and unties a buckle pad? The ref stops him before he can finish, and Grey trips Nese up! Grey gives Nese a taste of his own medicine, catapult into that buckle! Roll up and cover, TWO! Grey CHOPS Nese, whips but Nese reverses to then slide and pump handle, for the scoop and DRIVER! Cover, TWO!!

Grey survives but Daivari says Nese’s got this. Grey gets to a corner, Nese storms over to give him kicks in the ribs! Grey throws body shots and forearms and a CHOP! Nese runs into a back elbow, Grey boots but that’s blocked. Nese throws the foot down but Grey ROCKS him! Grey runs to RANA, then CLOBBER Nese! Grey goes for a gut wrench, Nese back drops but Grey sunset flips! Nese rolls through to back KICK Grey down! Cover, TWO!! Grey survives but Nese puts on the squeeze! Grey endures, pries the feet apart but Nese shifts to a headlock. Nese knees Grey, then talks trash. Nese pushes Grey around but fans taunt Nese, “You Still Suck!” Grey CHOPS Nese, then JABS! CHOP! JAB!

Nese puts Grey in a corner but Grey dodges to CHOP and stomp away! Grey fires off hands, the ref counts and Grey stops at 4. Grey whips, Nese reverses but Grey comes back to LARIAT! Grey spins Nese to hit a jawbreaker, to NECKBREAKER! Grey handsprings and fans fire up with him! Daivari doesn’t like the showboating, but Nese throws Grey to the apron. Grey ROCKS Nese in return, then goes up top! Tightrope CROSSBODY! Grey rains down rights and then ROCKS Nese again! Grey hits the EXTRA LARGE BACK SUPLEX! Cover, TWO! Daivari says it takes more than that to stop the Premier Athlete, the 205 Live OG! Grey gets up, brings Nese up but Nese throat chops!

Grey gasps, Nese talks trash, and then Nese runs with Grey, but Grey blocks the hotshot! Grey shoulders but into a kick! Nese slingshots, into a HOTSHOT CUTTER! Grey gets Nese in, for another Extra Large, but Nese lands on his feet! Nese gets a cover, TWO! Nese mule kicks, front kicks, knee lifts and enziguris! Nese whips, uses that to slide, but Grey rolls through to SUPERKICK! Nese tumbles out, Grey DIVES! Direct hit and Nese is sent flying over the announce desk! Fans fire up and Daivari has to get out of his seat because of that. Grey gets back to the ring, the ring count is 5 of 10! It keeps going, 7 of 10 but Nese is still down. Will Grey learn from last time?

NOPE! Grey goes out at 9 because he wants to win this in the ring! Daivari brings up how that messed him up with Mansoor, but Grey tells him to shut up. Nese rolls Grey up, but Grey turns it around! Grey wins!!

Winner: August Grey, by pinfall

What was that about messing up? Grey won “the right way,” but Daivari says it was just dumb luck! Will AG keep getting the better of the OG on 205 Live?


My Thoughts:

A very fun, very good 205 Live to get back to new content after WrestleMania. Atlas VS Adonis was a very good match, started to feel like the early days of 205 Live that we just relived last week. Atlas and Adonis being names from Greek myth, I kinda want them to try being a team at some point. Though at the same time, that feels like something early 2000’s WWE would do and maybe it’s best if they don’t? Who knows, maybe give it a try, see if something comes of it.

Grey VS Nese was also really good, and the story that’s building with Grey and these OG is pretty good. Daivari on commentary was explaining how Grey winning against Adonis with the feet on ropes was a twinkling of him being compatible with Daivari & Nese, who are solidly Heel. But Grey resisting that and doing things the solidly Face way is a good story in itself, so I hope this is how Grey builds himself up to at least try for the Cruiserweight Championship. Grey’s got a lot of innovative moves, as well, so I’d definitely be okay with seeing him try those with Kushida, maybe even Swerve and Ruff.

My Score: 8.2/10


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Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (4/16/21)

SmackDown is up, and WE! WANT! THE SMOKE!!

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Coverage SmackDown 2021

The SmackDown After WrestleMania puts more gold on the line!

After WrESTleMania, we have a NEW SmackDown Women’s Champion in Bianca Belair! But will we have new tag team champions to match? It’s The Dirty Dawgs VS The Street Profits in 2v2 competition!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Rey Mysterio w/ Dominik Mysterio VS Otis w/ Chad Gable; Rey wins.
  • Roman Reigns w/ Paul Heyman VS Cesaro; cancelled.
  • Sami Zayn VS Kevin Owens; Kevin wins.
  • SmackDown Tag Team Championships: The Dirty Dawgs VS The Street Profits; The Dirty Dawgs win and retain the titles.
  • Natalya w/ Tamina VS Shayna Baszler w/ Nia Jax; Natalya wins.
  • Cesaro VS Jey Uso w/ Paul Heyman; Cesaro wins, by disqualification.

PLAY BY PLAY

Pat McAfee joins SmackDown commentary!

The Punter of the Decade joins Michael Cole and it is his honor to be here!

 

Roman Reigns heads to the ring!

The Tribal Chief is STILL WWE Universal Champion, and he again has Jey Uso and Paul Heyman by his side as he holds that belt up high in the ThunderDome. Fans boo and give thumbs down but that just makes Heyman laugh. Heyman hands the mic to Roman, but fans chant, “You Suck!” Roman says it is no secret, “we put a lot of eyes on SmackDown.” So for the new viewers, let’s tell them about the men Roman beat in the main event of WrestleMania. Heyman says he would be honored.

First is Edge, an ELEVEN time world champion, married to a hall of famer and is a hall of famer in his own right. Then there’s Daniel Bryan, a FIVE time world champion, also married to a hall of famer, and will “YES! YES! YES!” his way into the hall of fame when he retires, which should be soon after Roman stacked them and pinned them together. Take all of their accomplishments combined and the enormity of both men’s legacies, who came up against Roman, it was practically a Handicap match in THE main event of WrestleMania. McAfee agrees on commentary.

Roman says he took a page from Heyman’s playbook and Babe Ruth’d it! He called his shot: He was gonna smash ’em, stack ’em, and pin ’em 1-2-3. Then, they would #AcknowledgeMe. Now to be honest, it’s embarrassing! If Roman was another man, he’d never want to be in that situation. WWE will probably never put him in a Triple Threat again after that. Nobody wants to face Roman! No one wants that to happen to them! These were hall of famers, and he smashed ’em, stacked ’em and pinned ’em. And if he’s doing that to guys like that, who will want it next? Nobody! “Don’t nobody want to step to me now!” Not worth it! No one measures up to Roman, no one is on his level.

So after fulfilling the obligations and opened Roman’s show, cut the check, fire up the jet, time to go home. Heyman takes the mics for Roman, but here comes CESARO! The Swiss Cyborg finally had and won his first singles match at WrestleMania, and is now getting in Roman’s face! He looks at the Universal Championship, then gets a mic. Roman still takes his leave, but Cesaro figured as much. Cesaro doesn’t get to say his piece, but will he make Roman acknowledge him?

 

Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville talk backstage.

Cesaro walks by, they congratulate him on his Mania win, but he asks if they saw what “that son of a bitch” Roman did. No one is going to step up? Cesaro will. Not even for the title! He just wants a match tonight. Sonya says she’ll talk to Roman and see if he’ll accept that. Cesaro is fine with that, but is Pearce?

 

Rey Mysterio w/ Dominik Mysterio VS Otis w/ Chad Gable!

While the King and Prince of Lucha didn’t get those SmackDown Tag Team Championships off Dolph Ziggler & Robert Roode, neither did the Alpha Academy. This battle has been brewing for months after Gable unleashed The Dozer on Rey’s ribs. Will Rey get his revenge and his redemption going 1v1 with the big man?

The bell rings, and Otis CLOBBERS Rey with his gut already! Otis gets Rey up, CLUBS him on the back, then looms over him as he writhes. Otis scoops Rey, pops him up to a military press, and then DROPS Rey! Gable cheers Otis on while Dom coaches Rey up. But Otis brings Rey up to SLIDE him out! Rey rolls through to come back and shoulder into Otis! Rey fires forearms, hotshots Otis away, then goes up a corner, only for Otis to trip him! Rey ends up in a Tree of Woe, Otis stomps a mudhole into him! The ref backs Otis off, but Otis comes back, only for Rey to sit up! Otis hits buckles, Rey turns around and leaps to SEATED SENTON! BASEMENT SEEATED SENTON! Cover, TOW!

Rey kicks but Otis blocks the whip. Otis whips Rey away, Rey ducks and springboards, into Otis’ arms! POWERSLAM! Gable tells Otis to keep on Rey and Otis drags him to a drop zone. Otis goes up the corner, leaps, but FLOPS as Rey rolls out of the way! Dom coaches Rey up, Gable shouts to Otis, and Rey dropkicks Otis onto ropes! Rey dials it up, but Otis comes back! Rey trips Otis onto ropes, and hits the 619! Rey hurries up top again but Otis is back up! Rey leaps, for a CRUCIFIX DRIVER! Cover, Rey wins!!

Winner: Rey Mysterio, by pinfall

That’s a huge win for Mysterio! The Dozer is furious but will he have to go back to the drawing board?

 

Kayla Braxton talks with Paul Heyman.

And from the look on Heyman’s face, he is both shocked and offended that SmackDown management wants Roman to compete tonight! It’ll be non-title, but will it even happen? We find out, after the break!

SmackDown returns and Kayla asks if Heyman accepts the challenge. That’s the question? Yes, because that’s what we do around here in the WWE: “We put smiles on the faces of Neanderthals, like Cesaro.” Does Kayla have any clue the enormity of the star power that is possessed by Roman and its affect on the ENTIRE WWE Universe? What happened on Saturday? Oh~ a rain delay! Rain delay, Heyman’s “kosher tuchus.” Those were the tears of the angels descending upon Tampa over the BEATING Roman was going to give, and that is what happened! Roman walked out champion, and neither Bryan nor Edge walked out of Raymond James at all.

And as Heyman was walking back with Roman, they were stepping in puddles, and Heyman said, “My goodness! Tears still descending from up above!” Except it wasn’t from the skies, but from the locker room. A visionary like Seth Rollins had to lower himself to face “a knuckle-dragging, slack-jawed, bucktooth Swiss quisling like Cesaro.” A billion dollar body but a 10 cent brain and THIS is who emerges to get in the face of Your Tribal Chief?! Cesaro is physically capable of being a great opponent, but he is not an attraction. He’s a joke!

So let’s put an end to the joke! Stop the train before it leaves the station! They will give Cesaro what he wants, tonight live on SmackDown! Cesaro in the main event against THE main event, Jey Uso. Of course Heyman had a way to change the course. But will Cesaro blast through the Right Hand Man to get at the Head of the Table, whether they like it or not?

 

Sami Zayn heads to the ring!

The Great Liberator didn’t defeat his long-time frenemy, and he didn’t even have Logan Paul on his side! And Sami loves to see the headlines outside of the one that is most accurate: “Sami Zayn Once Again SCREWED!” Where is that one, huh?! Well, does it exist…? Sami says it was his vindication! The stars were aligned, and he had the one star that matters in Logan Paul! Logan was supposed to help Sami expose the WWE and celebrate his grand victory, but that’s not how it went down, did it?

And here’s why: Logan’s mind was poisoned by Kevin Owens and the WWE Universe talking bad about Sami, like he’s a crackpot! It was poisoned by management, and the “corporate mouthpiece,” Michael Cole! They got in Logan’s head and Sami could sense it and feel it as he hugged Logan! And then in the match, of course he was distracted! Sami was worried about Logan! And that is the only reason, THE ONLY REASON, Kevin squeaked out that win. And Kevin is back there, obviously. Sami will not be denied vindication! Sami calls Kevin out for a rematch! There’s nothing to distract him, there are no toxic fans or stupid Logan Paul and his warped mind! No distractions, no way for Kevin to steal this!

But that’s why Kevin won’t come out, because- Wait, Kevin DOES come out to the ring! Kevin says if Sami’s gonna keep making excuses, then here we go! This WrestleMania rematch happens, after the break!

Sami Zayn VS Kevin Owens!

The bell rings and Sami bails out! Kevin smirks because he knew this would happen. Kevin slides out but Sami slides in. Then Kevin slide sin, but that’s a fake-out! Sami is on the outside and Kevin fires off! Kevin bounces Sami off the desk, puts him in the ring, and CHOPS him to a corner! And CHOPS again! Sami stumbles to another corner but Kevin gives him body shots! The ref counts, Kevin lets off, and then comes back, but Sami hits first! Sami whips corner to corner, Kevin comes back to CLOBBER Sami! BACK SENTON! Sami is in a corner, Kevin runs in but Sami bails out. Kevin goes to the apron but Sami hotshots him! Then BLINDSIDES him!

Sami rains down furious fists from all sides! Sami lets off to snarl and seethe. Sami puts Kevin on the ropes and chokes him! The ref counts, Sami lets off at 4 and CLUBS Kevin! Kevin gets up to CHOP back! Sami stomps Kevin to a corner, digs his boots in, and even stands on Kevin! The ref counts, Sami lets off, and then Sami throws haymakers. Kevin hits back, counter punches, and backs Sami down. Sami jawbreakers in return! Sami CHOPS Kevin against ropes, then whips him to ropes. Kevin reverses but Sami kicks back, only for Kevin to LARIAT! Kevin reels Sami in, suplexes to hang Sami out to dry, and Sami springs off the ropes to hit the mat!

Kevin fires off on Sami in a corner, hoists him up top and CHOPS him again! Kevin climbs up, Sami throws elbows and then adjusts to sunset flip POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO!! Kevin survives, Sami argues with the ref, and SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns and Sami is again fighting Kevin off on the top rope. Kevin hits back, climbs back up, and Sami throws headbutts! Kevin falls back, Sami adjusts and leaps, but Kevin gets clear! Kevin SUPERKICKS Sami down! Cover, TWO!! Sami survives but Kevin hurries right to the top rope! SWANTON BOMB!! Cover, TWO!! Sami survives again and Kevin is beside himself! Kevin shakes his head as he stands Sami up, whips him, but Sami bails out to avoid a pop-up. Kevin pursues Sami as the ring count climbs, and gets him on the ramp to throw him into barriers! Kevin puts Sami back in at 5 of 10, knees low then whips, but Sami slips through the pop-up to get an arm!

Kevin fights the Half ‘n’ Half, then pump handles for the PACKAGE USHIGOROSHI!! Cover, TWO!!! Sami still survives that move, just like WrestleMania! Kevin gets annoyed, but he again has to pursue Sami on the outside. Kevin drags Sami from the barriers, puts him in, and kicks, but no Stunner! Sami again bails out, Kevin grabs at him on the apron, but Sami rakes Kevin’s eyes! The ring count is still climbing, though, but Sami wants to run away! Sami gets himself counted out, Kevin wins!

Winner: Kevin Owens, by count-out

Kevin wins again, but it seems Sami didn’t want revenge that badly. But Kevin pursues and goes after Sami with fists at the ramp! Kevin puts Sami in the ring, kicks and STUNNERS! It seems Kevin still hasn’t beaten sense into Sami, will these two #JustKeepFighting?

 

Apollo Crews speaks.

“All of Nigeria has not stopped celebrating, ever since I smashed Big E into oblivion and I became the new Intercontinental Champion!” And he would give Big E a rematch tonight, but he’s not here. And do you know why? Two words: Nigerian Nail! That is the name of the move used by this giant beside Apollo here. This is his commander of the guard, Azeez, former member of the Nigerian Elite Guard. If anyone dares come for Apollo, they will be annihilated by the Nigerian Nail!

 

The Street Profits head to the ring!

Montez Ford & Angelo Dawkins are going to be facing the Dirty Dawgs for the tag titles later tonight, but first they are going to celebrate the NEW SmackDown Women’s Champion! This will be the EST of celebrations, after the break!

SmackDown returns and Ford says it’s Friday Night, and he’s feelin’ right! Dawkins says it is official takeback season! Time to do spring cleaning to send Dolph & Roode back through that time warp they came out of so they can return to 1986. Oh, and about getting the shine back on those SmackDown tag titles! Right! The Dirty Dawgs will get snatched, but that’s not the only reason why the Solo cups are raised high. It’s been a long time, and they got some inspiration this past weekend. Some motivation! WrestleMania was a night for the ages, a night to remember!

One match in particular will be something Ford tells his grandkids about! That is the historic, the glass ceiling shattering SmackDown Women’s Championship! ROLL TAPE! Sasha Banks VS Bianca Belair, WrestleMania 37 Night One, the main event! Headlines were marking how amazing it was even before the bell, and no one could deny it after! We have a NEW SmackDown Women’s Champion, and it is Bianca Belair! Dawkins has the feels, fam! Ford says that as we just saw, the party isn’t over! The champagne for the campaign is not done popping. Saturday, that was a genuine moment that will be with them for the rest of their lives. And they just want to share that joy with the fans!

So they introduce to use, the roughest, the toughest, the quickest, the strongest, and the greatest part of Ford’s life, the NEW WWE SmackDown Women’s Champion, the EST, no no no, THE E S T of the W W E, BIANCA BELAIR!! Bianca makes her entrance, Ford and Dawkins sing her praises and the fans cheer on their ThunderDome screens! Bianca is handed a mic, and she feels like he’s been floating since Saturday! Her mind is blown, her heart is filled, and she feels blessed. But despite the setbacks, the struggles, she never stopped believing that this moment was possible.

And her family has been making history for generations, they are the ones who showed her that when you demand greatness from yourself, that no matter how hard the game gets, you can change the game! If you were to have asked her a year ago if she could ever imagine main-eventing Mania, winning the SmackDown Women’s Championship… Well she probably would’ve said yes! But that’s not because she’s cocky. That’s because she’s unapologetically her. Everyone has a little EST in them, and when you find it, you know that you’re talented and working hard, you never need to apologize for saying you are the B-E-S-T! “Because if you can dream it, you can do it.”

Bianca showed up, showed out, but it isn’t just about her. Sasha Banks, Bianca thanks you. There is no one she would’ve rather shared that spotlight because Sasha pushed her to her limits and it takes two. They BOTH made history. But… If Sasha ever tries to forget it, just know that Bianca left you with something to remember her by. That hair whip did leave a mark… But this is also about Sasha, too. This moment is so much bigger than them. This is about all the girls watching at Raymond James and at home, who saw Bianca and saw themselves. This is for you! That was Mania magic, but we’re only getting started!

Ford and Bianca hug, Dawkins joins in for a family moment, and Bianca says it’s time to drop the cups, throw the tissues away, and get those titles again. They only wear gold in this house. The Profits and the new SmackDown Women’s Champion are up, and #WeWantTheSmoke! Will this trio become truly golden after tonight?

 

Backstage interview with Sasha Banks.

After seeing Bianca out there, she is in no mood. The Boss still has the mark on her side, and she seethes. She takes a second to cool off, but it doesn’t work, and she storms off. Will Sasha find a way back to that title and to WrestleMania revenge?

 

Backstage interview with Bayley.

The Role Model acknowledges that Cesaro was super impressive with the UFO spin, as footage is replayed, but what about Sasha? She probably wants a rematch but is so angry she can’t say it. While Bayley was super busy trying to save both nights of Mania, Bianca was in the main event crying. Even before the match began! No one wants to say it but Bayley will: those tears was because Bianca thought she couldn’t win. Is that who you want as champion? And now she’s showboating and arrogant! That is NOT the kind of champion we should want!

So there is only one way to fix this, and restore dignity to the title: for Bayley, the longest reigning SmackDown Women’s Champion ever, to challenge Bianca and take that title! Will Bayley cut Sasha in line and get back to the gold first?

 

SmackDown Tag Team Championships: The Dirty Dawgs VS The Street Profits!

The Show-Off & The Glorious One made it through #WrestleManiaSmackDown and its Fatal 4 Way with these titles, but now they’re 2v2 with Ford & Dawkins! Will takeback season work out for the fam? We find out, after the break!

SmackDown returns and the titles are raised. Teams sort out, Ziggler starts with Dawkins and they circle. They feel out the grapple, Ziggler shoots in but Dawkins sprawls then shifts to a waistlock. Ziggler gets the ropebreak, the ref counts but Ziggler elbows free! Ziggler dares Dawkins to get up, then he gets Dawkins only for Dawkins to DECK him! Tag to Ford, the Profits whip Ziggler, Dawkins drops and Ford dropkicks Ziggler down! Cover, TWO! Ford gets Ziggler back up, snapmares him to basement dropkick! Cover, TWO! Ford keeps Ziggler from Roode, wrenches and armlocks to tag in Dawkins. Ford wrenches the arm again and again, Dawkins drops ax handles!

Dawkins wrenches, tags Ford back in, and now Ford drops ax handles! Ford mocks Roode but Ziggler ROCKS Ford! Roode tags in but Ford reverses the whip to send Ziggler into Roode! Tag to Dawkins, the Profits double whip to DOUBLE FLAPJACK! Ziggler comes in, but gets a DOUBLE FLAPJACK onto Roode! Ford throws Ziggler out, Dawkins gives Roode the CYCLONE SPLASH! Dawkins keeps moving, BULLDOG! Then a BIG shoulder tackle! The Profits are fired WAY up as SmackDown goes to break!

SmackDown returns again and Dawkins covers Roode, TWO! Dawkins keeps on Roode with a headlock, Roode powers out but Dawkins runs him over! Things keep moving, Dawkins leaping back elbows! Roode avoids the cyclone but Dawkins elbows him away. Ziggler distracts but Dawkins DECKS him, only to run into a GLORIOUS SPINEBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Ziggler tags in and DECKS Ford! Ziggler gets Dawkins up for a NECKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Ziggler tags Roode back in, the Dirty Dawgs mug Dawkins and Roode stomps Dawkins down. Roode brings Dawkins up to suplex high and hard, covers, TWO! Roode argues the count but it was fair.

Tag to Ziggler, the Dawgs mug Dawkins, and Ziggler taunts Ford before daring Dawkins to stand. Dawkins gets up, Ziggler slaps him around, but his dropkick is caught for a CATAPULT! Ziggler hits buckle and then the mat! Ford fires up on his corner and fans rally on the ThunderDome screens. Ziggler and Dawkins crawl, hot tags to Ford and Roode! Ford rallies with big clotheslines, then he TOSSES Ziggler for good measure! Dropkick for Roode, dropkick for Ziggler! Ford dodges Roode to BLOCKBUSTER! Ford CLOBBERS Ziggler! Ford whips Roode, Roode reverses and reels For din but Ford lands out of the back suplex to give a back suplex! Kip up and STANDING MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO!

Roode bails out to join Ziggler, Ford has a target! Ford builds speed, tags Dawkins as he FLIES! Direct hit to the Dawgs and Ford gets Roode in for Dawkins! Dawkins gets Roode up, THE ANOINTMENT! Tag to Ford, he climbs, and leaps FROM THE HEAVENS!! Cover, Ziggler breaks it!! Dawkins gets Ziggler up but Ziggler throws him to clothesline Dawkins and himself out! Ford DECKS Ziggler, gets Roode up and fires off fists in a corner! The ref backs Ford off, and Ziggler sneaks a tag in! Ford doesn’t know, he whips but Roode reverses. Ford goes up and over, into a ZIGZAG!!! Cover, the Dawgs win!!

Winners: The Dirty Dawgs, by pinfall

As fired up as Ford was, Ziggler & Roode find a way to survive! Is this the end of takeback season? Will the Dawgs move on to new challengers in the wake of WrestleMania?

 

Backstage interview with Cesaro.

While denying him a match with Roman Reigns, Heyman said some rather derogatory things about Cesaro. His response? “I think Paul Heyman is right.” Cesaro admits he has buck teeth, a slack jaw, and that he isn’t the smartest. And with his long arms, maybe he does look like a Neanderthal. But he’s wrong about one thing: Cesaro DOES belong in the ring with Roman Reigns, and will prove it tonight by beating the Right Hand Man!

 

Heyman talks with Roman in their VIP room.

Roman doesn’t like that Cesaro isn’t just accepting things. Roman wants Jey to teach him a lesson. Will Jey Uso check Cesaro off the list for Roman?

 

Natalya w/ Tamina VS Shayna Baszler w/ Nia Jax!

Though the #BOAT and Daughter of Superfly won the Tag Team Turmoil, they could not win the WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships. Can the Queen of Harts redeem herself with another win over the Queen of Spades?

The bell rings, the two tie up and Natty gets a headlock. Shayna powers out, things speed up and Natty ducks to get a waistlock. Shayna blocks the lift, wrenches free and fires off hands and kicks! Shayna knees but Natty deflects it to get the legs! Natty steps through, but Shayna scramble’s and Nia saves her! Tamina storms over, Shayna gets back in the ring, but Natty is waiting! They tie up, Natty trips Shayna, floats to a facelock, but Shayna slips out to hammerlock. Natty gets up, slips through, wrenches, but Shayna wrenches back. Natty rolls, handsprings and gets a leg. Shayna sprawls to block, then shifts to a waistlock and slam, to the ARMBAR!

Natty endures, clasps hands, but Shayna pulls. Shayna stands to get the arm and hammerlocks it into the mat! This time, Tamina says Natty! Natty hotshots Shayna down, Nia storms over and the ref has to keep her and Tamina from throwing down. Natty gets in but Shayna KNEES Her down! Cover, TWO! Shayna grows frustrated, Natty goes to a corner and she elbows Shayna away. Natty spins, DISCUS CLOTHESLINE! Natty goes for legs but Nia gets on the apron! The ref reprimands but Shayna KICKS Natty down! KIRAFUDA, but Natty throws Shayna at Nia! Shayna stops herself, Natty rolls her up, AND WINS!

Winner: Natalya, by pinfall

Nia goes after Natty but Tamina SUPERKICKS her down!! Tamina and Natty aren’t done with the Irresistible Force or Queen of Spades! Will the second time around be the second generation superstars’ time to shine?

 

Jey Uso speaks.

“Cesaro, Cesaro. Boy, you’s a one hit move, huh? King of spin, king of swing, it’s all the same! That’s a cute airplane you did with no hands. But let me ask you something: can you do that with no teeth?!” You’re disrespecting the Tribal Chief, the Head of the Table! Now you’ve crossed the Right Hand Man, and now Jey has to get you! He’ll show you why he is #MainEventJey! Jey vows to #GETIM, and Roman says, “You heard the man. Now he’s gonna show you.”

 

Cesaro VS Jey Uso w/ Paul Heyman!

The Swiss Cyborg shows no fear in the face of the Reigns-ing, Defending, Undisputed, (hardly) Uncontroverted Universal Champion, but the NEW winner of the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal wants to change that. Will Jey be the one to learn something from the original winner of that match?

The bell rings and Cesaro gets Jey right up with a SLAM! Cesaro headlocks, Jey powers out and things speed up, and Cesaro catches Jey for a BACKBREAKER! Cover, ONE!! Cesaro keeps his focus as Jey goes to the apron. Jey gets to a corner but Cesaro bumps him off buckles. Jey counter punches, SLAMS Cesaro’s hand on the crossbar, then pulls the arm through the bars! Jey then kicks, but Cesaro blocks to hotshot the leg! Cesaro BOOTS Jey down and then goes out to pursue. Cesaro leaps from the apron, into a SUPERKICK! Main Event Jey evens things in the main event as SmackDown goes to break!

SmackDown returns once more and Jey cranks on an armlock. Cesaro throws body shots, whips but Jey reverses, to SAMOAN DROP! Cover, TWO! Jey keeps on Cesaro with a stomp to the shoulder! Jey ROCKS Cesaro with an uppercut, then wraps an arm around the ropes to pull! The ref counts, Jey lets off at 4, and then brings Cesaro around to suplex. Cesaro blocks it, then gets Jey up for a suplex of his own! Fans rally on their screens as Jey crawls his way to a corner. Cesaro snarls, aims at Jey and runs in, only to be put on the apron. Cesaro ROCKS Jey first, climbs up top, and leaps for a BIG CROSSBODY! Cover, TWO!

Cesaro shakes out the arms, drags Jey back up, but Jey wrenches to WRING the arm out! SUPERKICK! Cover, TWO!! Cesaro survives but he is in a daze as he gets to a corner. Jey runs corner to corner, HIP ATTACK! Cover, TWO! Cesaro shakes out the arms again but Jey sees him in a drop zone. Jey climbs up, but Cesaro gets up to DROPKICK Jey down! Jey hangs on to keep from falling to the floor, but Cesaro climbs up to get him. Cesaro gets Jey back to the top, Jey fights with body shots and Cesaro hops down. EuroUpper SHORYUKEN! Cesaro gets Jey up for a SUPER GUT WRENCH SUPLEX! Cover, TWO! Jey survives but Cesaro keeps focus.

Jey crawls, Cesaro brings him around, and reels him in! Jey fights the Gotch to wring the arm but Cesaro cartwheels! Cesaro dodges to springboard EuroUpper! Cover, TWO! Cesaro is a bit surprised, but he gets Jey’s legs! Jey kicks Cesaro away, but Cesaro comes back. Jey blocks a boot but gets a EuroUpper! Jey ducks the clothesline to pop-up NECKBREAKER!! Cover, TWO!! Cesaro survives and Jey is furious! Both men slowly rise but Jey is after Cesaro first. Jey throws down haymakers, then SLAPS Cesaro! And slaps him more! Cesaro SLAPS back! And fires off furious palm strikes then furious EuroUppers!! Shots from all sides! Cesaro runs, and LARIATS! Cover, TWO!

Cesaro is seething, but he calls for the spin! Cesaro gets Jey into a SPINEBUSTER, to then get the wings! SWISS SWING!! Michael Cole & Pat McAfee count, but Cesaro doesn’t get past 5 before SETH ROLLINS attacks!!

Winner: Cesaro, by disqualification

The Architect won’t let it go! He doesn’t want anyone anywhere getting swung by Cesaro! Cesaro still wins the match because of this, but he is staggering about. Rollins shouts, “You were done with me?! You got lucky!! ONE TIME! This isn’t over! Nothing is over until I SAY IT’S OVER!! I am the END ALL BE ALL of this industry! And the sooner you figure it out, the better it’s gonna be!” The Savior of SmackDown has all but snapped, but will he be going for another spin before this is all said and done?


My Thoughts:

Well, this was a pretty good post WrestleMania episode. Then some stuff made it like most typical WWE programming. There are a few things that are clearly being set up for WrestleMania Backlash, and they’re all WrestleMania rematches because that’s literally what that PPV becomes when you name it that in such a lazy manner. I am glad Cesaro is the next one stepping up to Roman Reigns, but they’re clearly doing everything they can to stretch this story so that the match will happen at a PPV bigger than Backlash. Cesaro getting the runaround from Roman’s team was a good way to do it, but I’m not sure about Cesaro VS Rollins 2. It’ll be a great match, but is it really necessary? Of course, WWE did repeat the UFO airplane spin a lot, so them running it into the ground is actually a good sign that Cesaro will win, and is going to be the next challenger to Roman’s title.

Natty getting another fairly quick win over Shayna and Tamina knocking Nia down is surely a sign that we’re getting a rematch between those teams for the tag titles at Backlash. But if that is where Tamina & Natty are going to win the titles, it’s profoundly stupid. They should’ve just let Natty & Tamina win at Mania, and then it’d be about Nia & Shayna getting the belts back at Backlash, a much more logical route. The celebration promo for Bianca was great, and while Sasha wants a rematch, Bayley wants her own match with Bianca, so I’m hoping there’s a difference here in that Backlash gives us another Sasha VS Bayley match, winner faces Bianca at the PPV after that.

Dawgs VS Profits was a great match, especially for television, but I am really surprised the Profits didn’t win tonight. I get that the moment Bianca and the Profits are all wearing gold is going to be big, but then why not do that on the SmackDown After Mania? Make tonight feel big because it should be big! Is WrestleMania Backlash really going to be where they do it? I feel like that’s them forcing Backlash to feel special rather than letting it be special by surprise. Rey VS Otis was good, and clearly this feud isn’t over yet, and the winner of that will surely line up for the tag titles.

Kevin VS Sami tonight was also great stuff, a lot of similar spots to the match they had at Mania, but the count-out seems like another way to extend things. I have a feeling something’s gotta give at Backlash, and I hope Kevin & Sami finally start towards the tag titles. Apollo had a good promo to introduce Dabba-Kato’s new form, Commander Azeez, and the name of his finisher. The Nigerian Nail is pretty much a direct translation of the Samoan Spike, which is what the move was when Umaga used it. Big E VS Azeez has to be coming, perhaps with the stipulation that if Big E wins, he gets his rematch with Apollo at Backlash. Honestly, it all feels like WWE is spinning their wheels because Vince is rolling around in the $1 BILLION from NBC.

My Score: 8.2/10


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