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Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (5/29/20)

SmackDown has the Final Four!

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WWE SmackDown Coverage 3.0

The WWE Intercontinental Championship Tournament reaches the semifinals!

SmackDown may once again be the House that AJ Styles Built, but will he be forced to Walk With Elias? And will Daniel Bryan derail Jeff Hardy’s comeback?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • SmackDown Battle Royal: Sheamus wins and will face Daniel Bryan in tonight’s main event.
  • Lacey Evans VS Sonya Deville; Double Count-Out.
  • Sasha Banks w/ Bayley VS Alexa Bliss w/ Nikki Cross; Banks wins.
  • Cesaro w/ Shinsuke Nakamura VS Chad Gable; Gable wins.
  • WWE Intercontinental Championship Tournament Semifinals: Daniel Bryan VS Sheamus; Bryan wins and will face AJ Styles for the vacant WWE Intercontinental Championship in two weeks.

PLAY BY PLAY

SmackDown opens with shocking news!

A car accident occurred just outside the Performance Center! Elias is the main victim and it was a hit and run! Medics tend to Elias and police investigate the car in question. A paper is found and it has Jeff Hardy’s name on it?! It’s a rental under his name. WWE cuts to an eye witness in Braun Strowman. What did he saw? He just got here, a car came flying in and it crashed, and then someone ran away. Elias is hopefully okay, but someone needs to find the SOB that did this to Elias. Police spot someone in the back and hurry with referees and WWE security. It’s Jeff Hardy! And he’s in just as bad of shape as Elias.

The police try to ask him questions but he says his head is spinning. Has Jeff been drinking? Jeff says he isn’t but the police say he smells like what’s in the car. Jeff can barely walk, even as Jamie Noble and Jason Jordan help. The police cuff Jeff?! They want to question him down at the station, even as the WWE staff try to reason with him. Jeff doesn’t understand, but swears he hasn’t had a drink. He sees his rental car on the curb and Elias in a stretcher. Noble keeps Jeff calm as he is helped into the police car. Just what happened here? Will we get the truth before the show is over?

 

The SmackDown locker room gathers backstage.

Adam Pierce gets everyone to settle down. Yes, Elias was hit by a car and Jeff Hardy was found. Elias is unable to compete tonight in the Intercontinental Championship tournament. And with Hardy’s arrest, he is also out. Sheamus sarcastically says, “What a shock!” Of course Jeff Hardy has been arrested. Is this his fifth strike? There will be no comment on that. Sheamus bad mouths Jeff but with Jeff and Elias out, that’s the news. Styles says he and Bryan are just automatically in the finals, then. Well he is entitled to that opinion. Bryan suggests there should be two substitutes for Bryan and Styles to compete, to give them a chance at the championship, too, Styles says that’s the dumbest thing Bryan has ever said, and they’ve known each other a long time. Just take the free ride to the awesome match. Well, Bryan isn’t a coward.

Sheamus steps up and agrees with Bryan. Sheamus deserves a second chance! Junkie Jeff had to be high off his rocker, how else do you explain him taking that beating and still winning? But then, Sheamus lost to someone high off his rocker so… Sheamus wants a match with Bryan, but Baron Corbin says Sheamus shouldn’t just get back in. Otherwise, that means Corbin gets his second chance and takes on Styles. Styles says this is NOT what he signed up for. All the guys making the noise lost so they should NOT be in the semifinals. But Styles is taking the free ride right to the title match. Well thanks for coming back, Mr. Team Player. Sheamus says it should be Triple Threats! Sheamus VS Corbin VS Bryan, winner takes on Styles in the finals. That still doesn’t sit right for the others.

Jey Uso repeats that Sheamus and Corbin both lost. Jimmy may be hurt but there’s still one Uce in the building. Jey wants in this one time. Ziggler steps up and says this is not how this work. Whichever Uso this is, this isn’t a tag match. This is the Intercontinental Championship. And Ziggler is a six-time champion, unless everyone’s forgotten. Chad Gable says no one has forgotten, it’s just that Ziggler is also a jackass. Burn! Pierce calms everyone down again. Bryan wants his match, Styles wants his free fried, everyone gets what they want. it will be a Battle Royal to face Bryan in the main event! And then yes, the winner of that goes against Styles in two weeks. BUT, that battle royal is next! The others leave and Bryan likes that idea. Styles says Bryan is such an idiot. What will the finals even look like now that this tournament got turned upside-down?

 

SmackDown Battle Royal!

SmackDown returns and the bell rings, and all hell breaks loose! Sheamus goes after Lince Dorado while Gran Metalik fights off Cesaro. Ziggler goes after Cesaro, Drew Gulak has Shinsuke Nakamura, and Baron Corbin is after Jey Uso. The NXT superstars in the crowd are loving the Lucha House Party combo on Cesaro! Sheamus has Ziggler over but Ziggler holds on. Cesaro gut wrenches Lince but Lince slides in and jawbreakers back. Corbin goes around while Lince avoids elimination again. Cesaro saves Nakamura to go after Gulak while Gable goes after Sheamus. Sheamus drags Shorty G up to climb up while Ziggler avoids elimination! Corbin and Jey still scrap in the corner but Cesaro goes after Jey. Gulak goes after Cesaro while LHP works on Nakamura.

Corbin helps Nakamura and Cesaro trophy lifts Ziggler! Cesaro tosses Ziggler but Ziggler grabs the ropes! Ziggler saves himself but Sheamus tries to do the same to Lince. Lince boots back while Nakamura goes after Metalik. Lince goes after Nakamura and Sheamus throws Gulak. Gulak holds on so Sheamus goes after Jey. Nakamura gives Lince Bad Vibrations while Cesaro resists Metalik’s attempts. Sheamus talks trash to Michael Cole but Gable is after Sheamus! Lince kicks Corbin but Corbin tosses him to a corner! Lince dodges Corbin and LHP go after the Wolf King together! Sheamus stomps Gable down while Metalik runs into a boot. Corbin puts Lince on the apron but Lince enziguris! Only for Corbin to DECK him! Corbin ELIMINATES Lince!

Gulak goes after Corbin! Gulak dumps Corbin out but Corbin clamps on a choke grip. Gulak breaks free to throw hands, but Corbin hotshots Gulak away. Corbin hip tosses and ELIMINATES Gulak! The crowd boos while Corbin grins his way back into the ring. Sheamus CLUBS Metalik while Corbin clobbers Jey. Cesaro helps Corbin out and Nakamura puts Gable up top. Gable avoids the Top Shelf Knee and tries to dump Nakamura out! Jey survives as Cesaro goes after him but Corbin and Ziggler work together on Metalik. Metalik double handspring elbows them back! Metalik clotheslines Corbin in a corner then walks the ropes, and leaps into a SUPERKICK! Corbin throws Metalik out and ELIMINATES him!

Ziggler and Corbin high five but then Ziggler tries to turn on Corbin! It doesn’t work and Ziggler says he was making a joke. Corbin shakes hands, but whips Ziggler out! Corbin ELIMINATES Ziggler, but Jey SUPERKICKS and ELIMINATES Corbin!! The crowd loves the karma, and we have our final five! It’s Jey, Nakamura, Cesaro, Sheamus and Gable! We’ll see who is left after the break.

SmackDown returns and Nakamura gives Jey the Top Shelf Knee! The Bar unofficially reunites as they beat up on Gable. Gable fights back but gets mugged 2v1. The Bar Lariat returns as they clobber Gable! Cesaro then helps Nakamura stomp Jey while Sheamus drags Gable up. Gable fights back with fast hands, but Sheamus puts him up top. Sheamus clubs but Gable hits a hanging armbar! No ropebreaks means Gable can do this forever! But he lets up to boot back and hit a tornado DDT! Jey SUPERKICKS Cesaro away, then SUPERKICKS Nakamura! Gable gives Cesaro a rolling Liger Kick! Uso Hip Attack for Cesaro! Jey aims and kicks at Nakamura. Nakamura blocks, spins, ducks the dragon whip to spin and kick back! Gable fireman’s carries Nakamura but Nakamura grabs ropes. Cesaro CLUBS Gable and ROCKS him with a European Uppercut!

Cesaro long darts Gable but Gable holds the ropes! Gable shoulders back in but then into a knee! Cesaro drags Gable up but Gable headlocks and drags Cesaro over! Cesaro holds on but lands on the floor! Gable ELIMINATES Cesaro and he is furious! Gable fights Cesaro off, but Nakamura KNEES Gable down! Nakamura kicks Gable against the ropes then drags him up. Nakamura throws forearms and knees against the ropes then whips. Gable reverses but Nakamura holds ropes. Nakamura knees, spins, but into a bearhug! Gable uses an OVERHEAD belly2belly and ELIMINATES Nakamura! But Cesaro TOSSES and ELIMINATES Gable behind the refs’ back! The Artist Collective just screwed Shorty G!!

But now that leaves just Sheamus and just Jey Uso. One man moves on and the brawl is on! Jey fires off, whips but Sheamus reverses. Jey slides to a stop to ROCK Sheamus with uppercuts! Jey runs but into Sheamus’ arms! Sheamus dumps Jey out but Jey lands on the apron! Jey skins the cat enough to get clubbing Bodhrain beats! But Jey hotshots and enziguris! Jey climbs up, leaps, but Sheamus gets under. SUPERKICK! Jey clotheslines Sheamus but Sheamus stays on the apron!! Sheamus and Jey fight at the ropes and Sheamus drags Jey over. Jey hooks onto ropes but Sheamus rakes eyes! Sheamus throws hands but Jey counter punches! Jey ROCKS and CHOPS Sheamus! SUPERK- NO! Sheamus blocks and POSTS Jey! Jey stays up but the BROGUE knocks him down! Sheamus wins!

Winner: Sheamus

The Celtic Warrior used everything he had to in order to be the last man left! And now he has another shot in this tournament! Will Sheamus redeem himself against a rested Daniel Bryan?

 

Sonya Deville speaks.

“Last week, I wrecked one bleach blonde Barbie doll when I completely dominated Mandy Rose. So Lacey Evans, the same fate awaits you. So put your hair up, and square up.” But little does she know, Lacey Evans has appeared behind her! And Lacey pushes Sonya down! If the nasty wants it, get to the ring. Will the Gladiator Gal have to eat her words?

 

Gable protests backstage.

Cesaro and Nakamura got away with screwing Shorty G out of that battle royal, but they call him a sore loser. Losing is something Gable can handle. An opportunity being stolen is different. Well these are the big leagues, little guy. Do you really think you can be Intercontinental Champion? Cesaro did Gable a favor. So be the bigger man, and just walk away from this. Or step back into the ring with Cesaro, and we both know that’d be a big mistake. So run along, little buddy. Gable DECKS Cesaro, and accepts the challenge! Will the might mouse make Swiss cheese out of the Swiss Cyborg?

 

Lacey Evans VS Sonya Deville!

The Sassy Southern Belle is ready to throw down, but the Desire is on fire after trampling the Rose. Who makes a big impact in the SmackDown Women’s Division with the champion in need of a contender?

The bell rings and Lacey shakes out her natural blonde hair. Sonya rushes Lacey and gets the waistlock but Lacey gets away quick. The two circle and Sonya goes for a leg, but Lacey avoids the takedown. Lacey mocks Sonya and says she’s gonna show her what blondes can do. Lacey even gives Sonya “a chance,” by taking a starting position. Sonya hooks on but Lacey gets around. The two go back and forth, Lacey trips Sonya down! Sonya gets up in a huff and Lacey flexes as the crowd fires up. Lacey and Sonya circle again, tie up, and Lacey headlocks. Sonya powers out and runs Lacey over! Sonya isn’t impressed anymore and she puts her hair up. Time to square up! But Lacey kips up, and matches!

The two circle again, and the hands fly! Lacey kicks Sonya down! Sonya gets to a corner and Lacey dabs herself off. Lacey calls Sonya a nasty, so Sonya ROCKS Lacey! Sonya asks Lacey to speak up, before she POSTS her! Sonya wraps Lacey’s hair around the ropes before throwing haymakers! The ref counts and Sonya lets off, but she bumps Lacey off buckles. Sonya wraps Lacey’s hair on the ropes again to throw more hands! The ref reprimands but Sonya stands on Lacey’s hair. Lacey kicks Sonya away but Sonya grabs the leg to slam it! And then Sonya kicks Lacey down! Cover, ONE! Sonya stands on Lacey’s hair again, but Lacey manages to headscissor her away! Lacey kicks low then facelocks, for a fallout DDT! Gator roll to the ropes and Lacey tucks Sonya under the skirt! Lacey clubs away but lets up at 4. To then dump Sonya down inside the skirt!

Sonya flounders about to get free while Lacey catches her breath. Sonya SPEARS Lacey down but the ring count is climbing! The scrapping continues and the count reaches 10!

Double Count-Out

Sonya bounces Lacey off the announce desk! Sonya whips but Lacey reverses to send Sonya into the desk’s corner! Lacey gets back in the ring and dares Sonya to come back for more. Sonya pushes Cole away and grabs a headset. Sonya tells us that she’ll fight “blondie” on her terms. The match is a draw but this may be only the beginning!

 

SmackDown hears from The Forgotten Sons.

Sgt. Jaxson Ryker, Cpl. Steve Cutler and the one man that truly appreciates all they’ve done for this country in Wesley Blake were all raised to #DoUntoOthers as you would have them do unto you. Blake was “one of you,” the normal civilian. But Blake “corrected” his behavior when he joined Cutler and Ryker. Now, they will no longer turn the other cheek. Their blood was on our hands, so our hands shall be on theirs. But whose blood will it be first?

 

Alexa Bliss & Nikki Cross talk backstage.

Nikki has a surprise for the New Day, but she can’t say because it has to be a surprise for Alexa, too. But then Big E and Kofi Kingston surprise them first! SmackDown will have both pairs of tag team champions in the ring after the break!

 

SmackDown presents A Moment of Bliss!

The WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions head to the ring to co-host their show and welcome us back. Nikki is so excited for their guests tonight, and so is Alexa. Please welcome the SmackDown Tag Team Champions, the New Day! AWWWW~ people at hooome~! Clap for your EIGHT-TIME champs, and feel~ the power~! We have a Tag Team Champion Summit! Kofi high-fives the crowd through the Plexiglas as he and Big E go to the ring. Alexa welcomes them to the show and this discussion to talk about the competition. But Nikki presents her present to them, and it’s… Scottish style pancakes! She made them by hand, with her grandmother’s special recipe. Wow, that’s so sweet! But they aren’t here empty handed. Here are coffee beans, straight from Djibouti, but out of Big E’s singlet. Sip, sip! Oh, how nice… Alexa saves the coffee for later to talk about the Money in the Bank’s Fatal 4 Way they won. Are there any tag teams standing out now?

Well the Forgotten Sons made a name for themselves in that match. The New Day has their eyes peeled looking out for those guys. “You can say that again.” Well the Forgotten Sons made a name for- No, Kofi, that’s a saying. But anyway, Bliss-Cross has been mixing it up on Raw with the IIconics, but who, who who who, on SmackDown stands out to them? Nikki gets into a Big E mode, but here comes Bayley and Sasha Banks! “Well, well, well.” Bayley can see two great tag team champions in the ring, but what about the best tag team champions? Sasha doesn’t see them at all. But just wait a second here. Sasha and Bayley get in the ring and Sasha throws her jacket at Alexa. Now Sasha sees the best.

To calm things down, Nikki congratulates Bayley on beating Charlotte Flair last week. Yes, thank you. That’s the welcome Bayley loves. She IS the most dominant Women’s Champion on SmackDown. Maybe Nikki needs to tell Alexa that. No, it’s fine, Bayley. It’s just that when Bayley started talking, Alexa stopped listening. The New Day reacts strongly to that BURN! Now, we have five titles in the ring, but oh! Where’s Sasha’s? BURN! Valid question. Oh shut up! Charlotte Jr. has jokes, huh? Alexa doesn’t talk to Da Goat, Da Boss, and da leader of this division! And since Sasha is the conversation, she has some facts to share. The Boss & Bayley put those titles on the map! OOH~! If it wasn’t for them, the titles wouldn’t even exist! O M G!! And so, Alexa, if they wanted to, Banks & Bayley could take the titles back.

Then name when and where. They will! But right now, right here, Sasha is going to beat Alexa 1v1 tonight! Sasha can’t believe Bayley just did that, but too late! Alexa accepts the challenge and Bayley hurries to get Sasha the rest of her gear. But Alexa gives her back her jacket, and DROPKICKS her out! The Goddess just punked out the Boss. Is Bayley writing checks Sasha can’t cash?

 

Sasha Banks w/ Bayley VS Alexa Bliss w/ Nikki Cross!

SmackDown returns and Sasha at least has sneakers on. Nikki is on commentary as Sasha takes her time lacing her shoes up. Bayley is also on commentary and tells Nikki to shut up already. Alexa rushes Sasha but Sasha sends her into buckles! Sasha kicks but Alexa blocks, rolls Sasha up, TWO! Alexa Oklahoma Rolls, TWO! Cradle counter, TWO! Sasha knees low and whips Alexa. Alexa counters the hip toss to a takedown, TWO! Sasha ghost pins, TOW! Sasha blocks the kick and Bayley cheers, but Alexa blocks the knee to ROCK Sasha with a right! Alexa poses and Nikki squeals, and then Alexa hits a takedown to an arm wringer! Knee drop, Insult2Injury! Cover, TWO! Nikki rallies with the fans and Bayley grows annoyed.

Alexa runs corner to corner to slap, but Sasha blocks and sends her into buckles again! Sasha hits swinging METEORA! Cover, TWO! Sasha is shocked but Bayley says she’s da best! Sasha rains down rights and covers, TWO! Alexa gets to the ropes while Bayley threatens Cole and Nikki threatens Bayley in defense of Cole. Nikki pats Cole’s head while Sasha ROCKS Alexa! Sasha slaps Alexa and stomps her down in the corner. The ref counts, Sasha lets up at 4, but Sasha comes back to KNEE Alexa in the corner. Sasha snapmares and runs to basement METEORA! Cover, TWO! Sasha grows frustrated, especially with Nikki rallying the fans. Sasha clamps onto Alexa with double chicken wings but the rallying grows stronger.

Bayley tells Nikki to get off the desk but Nikki shouts, “YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!” Alexa fights her way up out of the hole but Sasha wrangles her down to an arm surfboard. Alexa still gets to her feet and knees Sasha back! Sasha blocks a knee to hit a backbreaker! Cover, TWO! Sasha and Bayley are frustrated but Nikki feels excellent. Sasha throws forearms on Alexa in the corner, but lets up at 4. Sasha and Bayley tell the crowd to shut up but Nikki and the crowd boo instead. Sasha says Alexa has no chance in hell of beating her, but then Alexa ROCKS her! Alexa keeps throwing hands and then whips. Sasha goes up but gets caught and SLAMMED down! Both women are down and Nikki fires up even more. Bayley is losing her cool as Alexa and Sasha stir.

Bayley and Nikki duel but Alexa rallies! Alexa blocks and ROCKS Sasha again. Sasha blocks the next one but Alexa avoids the crossface! Alexa dropkicks Sasha, but runs into headscissors! Sasha sends Alexa into buckles then runs corner to corner, MERTOERA, and the STOCK DROP! Cover, TWO!! Alexa survives and Sasha grows frustrated, but Bayley is still confident. The crowd is on Alexa’s side and she counters Sasha to a victory roll! TWO, and Alexa ducks to tilt-o-whirl to headscissor! Alexa runs into the corner to ROCK Sasha with that right! Sasha is in the drop zone and Alexa climbs. Nikki is fired up and Bayley panics. Bayley gets on the apron and Nikki goes after her! They brawl and Bayley shoves Nikki into Alexa! Alexa goes down, to get METEORA! Slingshot sunset flip, Sasha wins!

Winner: Sasha Banks, by pinfall

The “role models” work together again to make sure they win! Does this ensure they can and will take those tag team titles back?

 

SmackDown has an update on both Elias and Jeff Hardy.

The Drifter is in stable condition, but there is still little known about Hardy’s situation while in police custody. SmackDown will give us more as the reports come in.

 

Cesaro w/ Shinsuke Nakamura VS Chad Gable!

The Artist Collective may not have won the battle royal, but they also made sure Shorty G wouldn’t either! The Swiss Cyborg poked fun at Gable until Gable lost his cool, and now things will be settled in the ring!

The bell rings and Gable hits Cesaro with a rolling kick right away! And then another! Gable fires off forearms and whips Cesaro, but Cesaro reverses. Gable goes up and over and sunset flips, TWO! Cesaro runs into a back elbow and Gable goes up. Gable QUEBRADA, cover, TWO! Gable has a leg and drops knees on the knee! Cesaro kicks Gable away and then dodges him to LARIAT! Cesaro runs to drop a leg, brother! Cover, TWO! Cesaro keeps his cool as he drags Gable up. He ROCKS Gable with a EuroUpper, but then dead lifts and gut wrenches. Gable blocks for just a moment before Cesaro TOSSES him! Cover, TWO!

Cesaro clamps onto Gable with a half camel clutch. The crowd rallies for Gable as he endures. Gable fights his way up, throws body shots back, but Cesaro knees low. Cesaro whips, Gable dodges and dropkicks the legs out! Gable runs corner to corner for another rolling kick, but Cesaro catches him! For a POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO!! Gable survives and Cesaro grows frustrated. Cesaro basement EuroUppers Gable, then stalks him to the corner. Cesaro hauls Gable up and hoists him to the top rope backwards. He CLUBS Gable on the back then climbs up to join him. SUPER BACK SUPLEX, but Gable lands on his feet!! Gable has the leg for an ANKLE LOCK! Cesaro flails but rolls and sends Gable into ropes! Cesaro EuroUppers Gable off his feet! Cover, TWO!

Cesaro hauls Gable up and Gotch holds, but Gable back drops out! Cesaro sunset flips through, TWO! Ghost pin, TWO! Gable is up but Cesaro whips and catches the roll, but Gable sunset flips through! Gable wins!!

Winner: Chad Gable, by pinfall

Shorty G pulls off a huge upset! Will Gable finally climb that ladder to head for bigger and better opportunities?

 

SmackDown checks in with Otis Dozovic and Mandy Rose.

Mr. Money in the Bank and his sweet peach have been having a great time relaxing by the pool. Pop the bottles! Peach champagne for his golden peach. Tall glasses of the bubbly and cheers to some alone time as just the two of them. Oh yeah! Otis asks Mandy, “Care to test the waters, my golden ray of sunshine?” No, thanks, Mandy is getting a little tired. A little sleepy? A kiss good night then. Otis lets Mandy snooze in the sun, and she starts to dream about… Otis going into the pool? She can’t take her eyes off him. Otis tests the wind as Mandy gets hotter. Otis comes out dripping wet. “Hi, Mandy. You know how cute I always thought you were.” Otis walks over as water pours down. Isn’t this from Fast Times at Ridgemont High?

Mandy blows Otis a kiss as he tears off his shirt. She even sees herself with Otis, though she’s still on the chair. The other Mandy makes out with Otis as real Mandy squirts sunscreen everywhere. But back in reality, CANNONBALL!! Otis splashes down big time, and it gets on Mandy. She wakes up and he apologizes to his “precious sea gem.” It’s okay, even though she was having an amazing dream. Mandy does join Otis in the pool for some real kissing. Oh yeah~!

 

SmackDown hears from Kurt Angle!

The Olympic gold medalist and WWE Hall of Famer is back and remembers how he used to run SmackDown. He and other legends, like Taker, Brock Lesnar, Eddie Guerrero, Hulk Hogan, John Cena, Randy Orton, and Edge. Speaking of, the Greatest WRestling Match Ever between Orton and Edge will be amazing! But that’s all the past, this is the future. Angle introduces a superstar who is now joining the SmackDown roster. This is a man who Angle has gotten to know very well over the last few months, and even officiated the Fight Pit Match, this man’s last match on NXT. Tonight, Angle gladly announces SmackDown will be getting… THE ORIGINAL BRO, Matt Riddle! The former NXT Tag Team Champion and all around chill badass is leaving the black ‘n’ yellow to go true blue! Will this become Friday Night Bro-Down?

 

Backstage interview with Sheamus.

All the talk of Jeff Hardy, and what happens? Jeff isn’t even gone five minutes, and he’s being replaced by Matt Riddle. But that’s okay. While those guys get the hype, Sheamus gets the results. That’s why Sheamus won the battle royal, and will get to Brogue kick Bryan again. Sheamus has yet to have the Intercontinental Championship, and he won’t let the rats get in his way. Sheamus will be the ULTIMATE Grand Slam Champion! He will leave bodies in his wake, because there’s no room for the weak. But Bryan walks over and Sheamus dares him to say something. Or does cat got his tongue? Bryan shin kicks Sheamus instead! Sheamus hobbles as he vows to make Bryan pay for that! Their main event match happens after the break!

 

SmackDown has big news for next week’s episode!

Not only is Matt Riddle making his SmackDown debut, but The Miz & John Morrison have a “warning” for Braun Strowman ahead of their WWE Universal Championship Handicap match at Backlash! What will the Greatest Tag Team of the 21st Century have to say to the Monster Among Men before their unconventional title match? And speaking of title matches, after tonight’s victory for The Boss, Sasha and Bayley are getting their title match against Bliss-Cross! Will we see the rise of #BayleyTwoBelts next week?

 

WWE Intercontinental Championship Tournament Semifinals: Daniel Bryan VS Sheamus!

The Goat defeated his coach and friend, Drew Gulak, to get here. The Celtic Warrior lost to Jeff Hardy but misfortune took the Charismatic Enigma and Drifter out of the running. Will Sheamus luck out and get back in the title scene?

The bell rings and Sheamus circles with Bryan. They tie up, Sheamus headlocks and throws Bryan down. Cover, ONE, but Sheamus wrangles Bryan again. Bryan fights up, brings Sheamus down to a knee and pops out back to get a hammerlock. Bryan grabs the opposite arm and wrenches the wrist. Sheamus sits up but Bryan chinlocks. Sheamus powers Bryan to a corner and arm-drags him away hard. Sheamus toys with Bryan already as he kicks at him. Bryan gets up as Sheamus reminds him of that WrestleMania defeat. Bryan gets the arm, Sheamus reverses the hammerlock and chinbar, but Bryan endures as Sheamus grinds him down. Sheamus taunts Bryan but Bryan puts him in a corner. Bryan throws fast hands and kicks! And uppercuts! Sheamus hakes it off but Bryan throws more! Sheamus comes back with a LARIAT!

Sheamus stomps Bryan and drags him up for EuroUppers of his own. Sheamus CLUBS Bryan, then hooks Bryan’s face. The ref counts and Sheamus lets up to knock Bryan down. Sheamus clamps onto Bryan with a chinbar and knees him in the corner. Sheamus throws more uppercuts then whips, but Bryan goes up and over. Bryan keeps moving, dodges and flying clotheslines! Sheamus is up fast but Bryan dumps him out. Bryan builds speed to DIVE! Direct hit sends Sheamus into barriers! Bryan is back in control as SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns and Bryan gives Sheamus shoulder breakers! Bryan wrenches again and wants the takedown, but Sheamus whips Bryan away. Sheamus scoops but Bryan slips out to waistlock. Sheamus backs Bryan down into a corner and throws elbows over and over and over and over! Sheamus gets Bryan down and gives even more elbows into Bryan’s face! Sheamus drops knees, too, and shouts, “Are you not entertained?!” The crowd boos, meaning they aren’t. Sheamus just smiles as he brings Bryan back up. Sheamus KNEES Bryan out of the ring! Sheamus fetches Bryan and throws him into barriers! He taunts Cole into starting up the Yes chants. The crowd chants “No! No!” but Bryan gets to the ring. Sheamus climbs up top and leaps to clothesline Bryan down! Cover, TWO!

Sheamus is frustrated with Bryan but he takes credit for the Yes Movement! Those 18 seconds at WrestleMania started it all. Bryan throws body shots and EuroUppers! Bryan kicks and uppercuts, but Sheamus whips. Bryan boots him away! He leaps but into the IRISH CURSE BACKBREAKER! Sheamus has the legs for the Cloverleaf! Sheamus sits deep on the hold but Bryan crawls for ropes! The crowd rallies as Bryan gets the ropebreak! Sheamus lets go in frustration, but admits Bryan was always squirrelly. Sheamus wants the Bodhrain but Bryan fires off forearms! Bryan hotshots Sheamus away then climbs up. But Sheamus kicks the legs out! Sheamus climbs up and clubs Bryan, then brings Bryan up to the very top. Bryan resists, fights Sheamus back, and headbutts him down! Sheamus gets up but Bryan leaps to missile dropkick him down!

Both men are down and the crowd rallies. Bryan gets up and gives Yes Kicks over and over! He kicks and kicks but Sheamus ducks the Buzzsaw! Sheamus wants another backbreaker but Bryan crucifix pins! Cover, TWO! Bryan throws elbows but Sheamus power sup, to the WHITE NOISE! Cover, TWO! Bryan survives Sheamus’ take on the Air Raid, but Sheamus won’t stop there. Sheamus drags Bryan up for stiff body shots and EuroUppers. The crowd rallies as Sheamus whips Bryan out then in. Bryan drop toeholds and sends Sheamus into buckles! And he kicks the rope to jam Sheamus! Bryan hits a corner to corner dropkick! Bryan goes again, but Sheamus CLOBBERS him! Sheamus fires up and aims from the corner. Wait, is that Jeff Hardy!? He’s free from county jail?! SHOTGUN KNEE from Bryan! Cover, Bryan wins!!

Winner: Daniel Bryan, by pinfall (advances to the finals)

And now Hardy is after Sheamus! Hardy chases Sheamus around the ring but Sheamus gets away! Sheamus runs away from Hardy, but just what is going on here?


My Thoughts:

What a wild SmackDown tonight! Because the tournament as it was meant to go was what the WWE advertised, everything tonight was a surprise and to great effect. Clearly there is a frame job of Jeff Hardy as the one who hit Elias after having a relapse into his alcoholism. The battle royal was great, and I was surprised Jey Uso got to be one of the last two. While the Usos are basically never breaking up as a tag team, using Jey while Jimmy is injured is actually a good move. Sheamus wins the battle royal but loses his match with Bryan because Hardy returns from being “arrested.” Hardy assumes Sheamus did him in but I think a better route would to give us a twist culprit. It’s also of note that Elias was taken out, and Styles chose to take the easy route and just go into the finals automatically. How do we know it wasn’t Styles who ran Elias over and framed Hardy? Two birds with one car, because then he can have another match with Bryan, seeking payback for both their world title feud and their MITB interactions.

Cesaro VS Gable was a really good match to come out of the battle royal story. I can’t be sure how far that story goes, but maybe Gable gets a tag team partner to help him against Cesaro and Nakamura. Just don’t have Corbin pal around with them again, because we had Corbin VS Gable already when this Shorty G stuff started. We got great developments in the Women’s Tag Team Championship story. The Moment of Bliss segment was a lot of fun with the New Day reacting to the burns from Alexa to Bayley and Sasha. Sasha VS Alexa was a good match, but the best part was Bayley and Nikki on commentary. There was a part where Michael Cole came so close to laughing, you could tell. Next week’s tag title match will be incredible, I’m sure of it. And it seems all but official that The Forgotten Sons are next for The New Day. I appreciate Blake’s promo was about him not being a soldier but a supporter, but this feud would be better if Xavier Woods was back so that it’d be all six of them involved.

Sonya VS Lacey was a really good match, and a count-out finish was good because we can get more of these two. I can’t be sure where either goes after a feud, because Bayley and Sonya are Heels and WWE doesn’t do that kind of title story. Or even non-title stories, really. Matt Riddle coming to SmackDown is great for SmackDown! Having Kurt Angle announcing Matt Riddle coming to SmackDown spoils the fun but is good for ratings. But surprises don’t happen anymore when people leak and spoil things. Yes, fans are needed to give genuine reactions to a debut, but I would’ve been genuinely surprised hearing “Bro…” at any point on SmackDown next week.

And then, there’s the little skit with Mandy Rose and Otis. I loved that they reversed the pool dream sequence from Fast Times at Ridgemont High, it was hilarious. Even though Mandy lost to Sonya, she is just fine because she has her Otis. And this kind of investment into Otis surely means that somehow in the next year, Otis is going to find a way to cash in and take the Universal Championship. The question will be about who he takes it off of, and I’m not picturing Miz & Morrison in that. Strowman, Bray Wyatt, but probably not Miz or Morrison. For one, the SmackDown hacker still needs to pick their targeted duo and start that story, and it could very well be Miz and Morrison after their stumblings as tag champions.

My Score: 8.4/10


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AEW Coverage

Mitchell’s AEW Dark Results & Report! (2/7/23)

Konosuke Takeshita gets Dark!

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The future of wrestling could be defined in the Dark!

Konosuke Takeshita is going strong in AEW, but he takes on MLW’s EJ Nduka! Will Konosuke still be The Future? Or will The Judge bring down the law?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Slim J VS Mascara Dorada; wins.
  • Rush w/ Jose the Assistant VS Aiden Park; wins.
  • The Outrunners VS Logan Cruz & Tyshaun Perez; wins.
  • Baliyan Akki VS Rico Gonzalez; wins.
  • Blake Christian VS Serpentico w/ Luther; wins.
  • Dalton Castle w/ The Boys VS Dante Casanova; wins.
  • Kiera Hogan VS Megan Meyers; wins.
  • Konosuke Takeshita VS EJ Nduka; wins.

QUICK NOTES

Another pretty good line-up, but the highlight is of course Konosuke VS Nduka. Both are great, having been champions outside of AEW. In fact, Nduka will be featured on tonight’s debut edition of MLW Underground on the Reelz channel. Nduka is challenging Alex Hammerstone for the MLW World Heavyweight Championship in a Last Man Standing match. Between AEW Dark on YouTube and the MLW television debut, Nduka is going to get noticed by a lot of wrestling fans, and he very well could be the new MLW Champion the next time he’s in AEW.


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Coverage

Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (2/6/23)

Time to rage in the cage!

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Will it end where it all began?

Damage CTRL denied us and Becky Lynch the cage match with Bayley before, but now that Raw is in Orlando, The Man VS The Role Model WILL happen! Will this all come full circle for both these Horsewomen?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Elimination Chamber Match Qualifier: Damian Priest VS Angelo Dawkins; Priest wins and advances to the United States title Elimination Chamber match.
  • Baron Corbin w/ JBL VS Dexter Lumis w/ Johnny Gargano; Lumis wins.
  • Women’s Elimination Chamber Qualifier Fatal 4 Way: Mia Yim VS Candice LeRae VS Piper Niven VS Carmella; Carmella wins and advances to the Raw Women’s Championship Elimination Chamber match.
  • Cedric Alexander & Shelton Benjamin VS The Alpha Academy; Alexander & Benjamin win.
  • Chelsea Green VS ???; Asuka wins.
  • Elimination Chamber Match Qualifier: Elias VS Montez Ford; Ford wins and advances to the United States title Elimination Chamber match.
  • Steel Cage: Bayley w/ Damage CTRL VS Becky Lynch; Becky wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Edge and Beth Phoenix are here!

Orlando goes nuts as the Rated R Superstar and the Glamazon make their way to the ring! Edge even takes some selfies with fans in the front row before he stands with Beth in the ring. The Grit Couple is of course here for revenge on the Judgment Day, a grudge that goes back to last year and Extreme Rules. They get the mic, and Edge says, “Oh, Orlando…! I gotta try and bring my heart rate down after watching that video, and just say it is so damn good to be back.” Orlando is happy to have them back, and Edge says he’s “The King of Comebacks as this point, it’s getting silly.” But we all know why they’re here this time: The Judgment Day.

Fans boo and Edge agrees. But the Judgment Day is his fault. The idea was to try and elevate talent he felt deserved it. And to be honest, it worked. All of them are at a better place now than they were a year ago. Finn Balor is on a level Edge has never seen before and that is saying something. Damian Priest has proven he’s a workhorse that come out week after week against the very best. Rhea Ripley, well… Fans do cheer Rhea, and Rhea went from number one to outlast everyone, and has punched her ticket to WrestleMania. Edge makes sure everyone sees him point at the sign. Oh, and Dom’s there, too.

“For the last year, we have battled back and forth. From Cardiff to Portland to Toronto, all leading up to Extreme Rules. And I knew that Finn Balor didn’t have what it takes to physically hurt me enough to make me say, ‘I Quit.’ But as you saw in the video, the minute I saw Rhea Ripley bash Beth in the back of the head with brass knuckles and hold that chair in her hand, I knew exactly what was going to happen and I was helpless to stop it. And I am the kind of man, and I know a lot of you can relate out there, I am the kind of man that is not used to feeling helpless.” Fans cheer, and Edge “congratulates” Judgment Day with a sarcastic clap.

Fans chant “You Still Got It!” and Edge says, “I never lost it.” Fans cheer that! Edge continues to say, “But here’s the thing, guys. You just made a bad problem even worse. Because I am a cruel, vindictive, sick bastard, who will sink to any level to get my pound of flesh!” Beth calms Edge and says she’ll cut to the chase. “If you’ve got the stones, Ripley, Balor, my husband and I are here to finish this.” But speaking of, here comes the Judgment Day! Finn, Priest and Dom have the mics but Rhea isn’t here. Finn asks if he’s the only one who notices a pattern. Edge makes his triumphant return, only for the Judgment Day to beat him down again and again and again!

Finn tells Edge, “It might be time for you to say ‘I quit.’ HAHAHA!” Dom says word on the street travels fast. Fans boo Dom but Finn tells them to let Dom talk. Dom says since Edge & Beth have been gone, he has served hard time! Fans continue to boo, Finn again says to let Dom talk! Dom tells Edge & Beth to run along, before he does something to them he learned “on the inside.” Just like he did to his deadbeat dad! Rey didn’t even make it into the Rumble match! Priest says Dom’s right. Fans chant “You Suck!” but Priest says it doesn’t matter. Edge and Rey are “something else.” Every time they come back, Judgment Day beats them down, but they come back for more.

So next time they beat Edge down, Extreme Rules will look like child’s play. And speaking of child’s play, after Dawkins gets cooked and Priest enters the Money… Wait, no, Edge has him so flustered. Finn says it’s alright, Edge has Finn all mad, too. Priest promises Edge that he hates him that he can’t even speak right. Priest is getting inside the Elimination Chamber to be the United States Champion! Dom wishes Rhea was here, she could see what they’re about to do to Edge. But Rhea is busy promoting WrestleMania. Edge tells Dom to shut up! Fans cheer that! Edge says he was right, but they all confuse him! They don’t know what they really want!

Priest, the night he clotheslined Edge’s head off, he claimed he didn’t want a leader. And yet, he’s following Finn around like a giant labradoodle. He’s better than that! As for Finn, he’s a Dollar Store Jamiroquai! It’s insanity. Google Jamiroquai, kids. But the difference between Judgment Day and The Grit Couple is that Edge and Beth have each other’s backs. But they all just drop each other quicker than “Ex Con Dom” did his drawers in the clink! “Which is fitting, considering how many times you screwed your dad over.” And by the way, Edge can’t wait until Rey snaps and 619s Dom’s teeth down his stupid throat! It’s coming!

Beth says Rhea’s not here cuz she’s doing promotional appearances? We all know it’s because Beth speared Rhea’s soul out of her body. But listen to her very closely: she didn’t come here to talk. She came to beat Rhea’s ass!! But if she’s not here tonight, how about this? The Rated R Superstar, Edge and the Glamazon, Beth Phoenix VS Finn Balor & Rhea Ripley at Elimination Chamber! Oh, oh, really? Does Dom think Rhea’s in? Dom says Mami is totally in. Finn is in, so they accept! That is, if Edge & Beth make it to Elimination Chamber. The Judgment Day surrounds the ring, Edge & Beth stand their ground, and the fight is on!

Beth runs off Dom, Priest & Finn go after Edge, but here comes ANGELO DAWKINS! Dawkins BLASTS Dom, then fires off on Priest! Dawkins clotheslines Dawkins out, Edge SPEARS Finn down! Dom is freaking out, and Ford creeps up behind him. Ford spooks Dom, puts him in the ring, and Dom wants mercy! He gets chicken wings and a GLAM SLAM instead! Orlando is all fired up, but will the Curse of Greatness be able to take down Damian? Or will Punishment be heading for Montreal?

Elimination Chamber Match Qualifier: Damian Priest VS Angelo Dawkins!

Raw returns as Priest stomps away on Dawkins, this match already underway. But it is also truly 1v1 as Adam Pearce made sure during the break to say no one else is allowed ringside! Priest stands Dawkins up to ROCK him with a right, then whips him to ropes. Dawkins handsprings over and DROPKCIKS Priest! Dawkins fireman’s carries for a FLAPJACK! Priest bails out, Dawkins builds speed, but Priest moves. Dawkins stops, slides out the side, and runs in to POUNCE Priest onto the announce desk!! Fans are thunderous as Priest flops to the floor! Dawkins puts Priest in the ring, sees him go to the corner, and runs in to CYCLONE- FOREARM!

Priest snarls as he stomps away on Dawkins again. Priest drags Dawkins up, rams him into a corner and fires off hands! Priest whips corner to corner, runs in and back elbows! Priest brings Dawkins up for a BROKEN ARROW! Cover, TWO! Priest snarls, he sits Dawkins up and pulls on the arms for a motorcycle stretch. Dawkins endures, Orlando rallies up, and Dawkins fights but Priest CLUBS him down! Cover, TWO! Priest clamps on with a chinlock now, and he bends Dawkins against his knee. Dawkins endures, fans rally up, and Dawkins fights up. Priest swings, Dawkins blocks to ROCK back! And again! And again! Anda gain!

Priest shoves, Dawkins bobs ‘n’ weaves then ROCKS Priest again! Dawkins dodges Priest’s boot to ENZIGURI! Priest runs in again but Dawkins dumps him out! Fans fire up as Dawkins goes out and runs in again, but into a LARIAT! Priest glares at Dawkins as he storms up on him. Priest drags Dawkins up, BIG suplex to the floor! Priest slides in the ring but just to refresh the count. Priest runs in around the way, leaps off the steps and FLYING KCIKS Dawkins down! Fans boo but Priest is in control as Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and both men are down after a collision. Fans rally up, Dawkins and Priest go to opposite ends, and Dawkins runs in to rally with clotheslines! Priest hits low, whips, but Dawkins hurdles and FLYING UPPERCUTS! Fans fire up with Dawkins, he runs corner to corner to CYCLONE! And ENZIGURI! And facelock, but Priest wrenches out, Dawkins ducks the lariat, to clinch and EXPLODER! Cover, TWO! Dawkins grows a little frustrated but fans rally up. Dawkins brings Priest up, ROCKS him with a right, then climbs a corner. Priest choke grips first! Priest then climbs up to join Dawkins, but Dawkins HOTSHOTS him back!

Dawkins hurries in, but into a SUPERKICK! Clinch and COMPLETE SHOT! Cover, TWO! Dawkins survives and Priest is growing frustrated now. Priest holds up his hand and fans boo. Dawkins rises, Priest clamps on, SOUTH OF- NO, Dawkins pops free for the SILENCER! Cover, TWO!! Dawkins hurries to a corner and climbs back up! SWANTON BOMB!! Cover, TWO!!! Priest survives and Dawkins is beside himself! But Orlando fires up as he drags Priest back up. Priest clamps onto a leg, Dawkins throws hands! Dawkins brings Priest up again, but Priest ROCKS him with a forearm! Priest staggers, into a RIGHT from Dawkins!

Priest goes to a corner, Dawkins runs in, but into a SPINNING ROUNDHOUSE! Choke grip, SOUTH OF HEAVEN!! Cover, Priest wins!!

Winner: Damian Priest, by pinfall (advances to the United States Championship Elimination Chamber match)

The Punisher pulverizes Dawkins, and now he’s taking aim at the US Championship! Will Priest hit his mark and take that title back?

 

The United States Champion pulls into the arena.

Austin Theory drives a black Lamborghini, showing that The Now rides in style. Will he have anything to say about the Elimination Chamber field as it fills out tonight?

 

Adam Pearce meets with Maximum Males Models.

Maxxine Dupri finishes signing the contract, she, Maçé & Mansöôr are now officially part of Monday Night Raw. Pearce is happy to have them here, and is sure they have big WrestleMania plans. Maxxine confirms, she has big, BIG plans. But then Chelsea Green walks in and asks, “Are you the manager?” Chelsea, you know Pearce is the manager, they spoke last week. Pearce has MMM excuse themselves, and Chelsea says that, as they spoke last week, she is supposed to have a private room, with Swiss chocolates and fresh spring water. He took care of that. Oh, well, that was Belgian chocolate. She’s been to Belgium, she knows the difference.

Anyway, while she has him, she wants to talk about how she’s NOT in the Elimination Chamber match. But Liv is, Raquel is, Nikki is, all of who she could be. With all due respect, Chelsea, you didn’t even last five seconds in the Women’s Rumble, so- Uh, sorry, does she need to call his manager? All she wants is an opportunity. her family is in attendance, so she deserves a match. And in that match, she deserves to be presented as the big star she is. So he either makes this right, or… One call could cost him his job. Okay, thanks, bye. Chelsea heads out, but will Pearce bend to her demands?

 

Baron Corbin w/ JBL VS Dexter Lumis w/ Johnny Gargano!

The Modern Day Wrestling God didn’t last all that long in the Men’s Rumble, and he didn’t get a win over Johnny Wrestling last week. The Rumble was because of Lesnar, that match with Gargano was because of Lumis. Can Corbin even the score with the Tortured Artist? Or will JBL start to question his investment into Baron?

Raw returns and Lumis makes his entrance. Corbin attacks Lumis as soon as he’s in the ring! The ref reprimands and fans boo, but Corbin lets off. The bell rings and Corbin hits a SPLASH in the corner! Corbin throws Lumis down, elbows him down, then clamps on a chinlock. Corbin grinds Lumis down but fans chant, “Corbin Sucks!” Lumis endures, fights up and fights free of the hold. Lumis then headlocks, but Corbin powers out. Corbin CLOBBERS Lumis, then rains down more elbows! Corbin clamps the chinlock on again, and insults the fans. JBL coaches Corbin, Lumis still endures and fights his way back up.

Corbin knees low, he puts Lumis in a corner and fires off forearms. Corbin whips corner to corner hard and Lumis bounces off buckles! Cover, TWO! Corbin says Lumis is nothing and Gargano isn’t anything, either. Gargano says he still got a win off Corbin. Corbin grinds forearms into Lumis’ face, then twists Lumis’ head in a neck wrench. Fans rally and Lumis fights up again. Lumis throws hands, dodges Corbin’s, then DECKS him! And DECKS him again! Pop-up UPPERCUT! Lumis runs to clothesline in the corner, then BULLDOG! Fans fire up as Lumis catches Corbin for a BIG back suplex! Kip up to LEG DROP!

Fans fire up as Corbin flounders up. Lumis clinches, but Corbin RAMS him into a corner. Corbin fires off elbows, then runs in, but only gets buckles! Lumis clinches for the SIDE EFFECT! Cover, Lumis wins!

Winner: Dexter Lumis, by pinfall

JBL is speechless as Gargano stands with Lumis. Gargano is headed to the Elimination Chamber for the US title, but will Lumis find himself in title talks soon enough?

 

Backstage interview with Becky Lynch.

Byron Saxton says The Man finally has Bayley inside that Steel Cage. What does tonight mean to her? “Orlando, Florida! Orlando, where it all began. Ten years ago, when I got off the plane with my bags to chase this WWE dream. When I first met you, Byron Saxton. A lot has happened in Orlando in those ten years, but ten years ago, I first met Bayley. In the weight room in the NXT Performance Center. And she seemed sweet and she seemed kind, and she wanted to be great. And her way of being great was high-fiving people and hugging people, and attaching herself to whoever she thought would be her meal ticket to the top.

“But I, too, Byron, I wanted to be great. And my way of being great was smashing faces, kicking down doors and changing the game so that I could become The Man of this industry! And Bayley… Bayley didn’t like that. No, she didn’t like that. So she’s attacked me and hit me with chairs and separated my shoulder. And she brought my family into this. And Bayley, I’m gonna learn you to not talk about my family. But all that aside, I had a plan. And tonight, I got what I want, and that is a Steel Cage Match.

“And so Bayley, you can bring your little friends, and you can bring your little tricks. Well, there is one hand that I haven’t played yet, and I’m thinking… I’m thinking, Byron, tonight might be the night.” What does Big Time Becks have planned for the Role Model in tonight’s main event?

 

Brock Lesnar is here!

Orlando goes nuts again as The Beast walks out to the ring and tips his cowboy hat with a feather in it. Lesnar gets the mic to say, “I appreciate ya. Thank you very much. Good evening, Orlando. Did y’all by chance catch the Royal Rumble? I did, too. I thought it sucked. At least, I had a sucky experience. At the Royal Rumble, Brock Lesnar got his ass thrown out over the top rope. That’s not the worst of it. I got my ass thrown over the top rope, by Bobby Who? Bobby Lashley! Now I apologize. I wasn’t on Raw last week, I had to get my head together a little bit. Bobby, you finally struck a chord in Brock Lesnar.”

All last week, Lesnar could not get Lashley out of his head. Lesnar tried to go hunting, and all he could think about was Bobby Who? Bobby Lashley! Next day, Lesnar wakes up, wants to go ice fishing. He likes coastal fishing, too, but he tries to go, but all he can think of is Bobby Who? Bobby Lashley! He sits down for a big ol’ steak dinner, and all he can think about is Bobby Lashley! He gets into bed at night with his wife, and… Well, four or five hours later, all Lesnar could think about is Bobby Lashley! So for a whole week, Lesnar thought about what he’s gonna do with Lashley. Lesnar has a resolution. A violent resolution, but still.

You see, within Lesnar’s “five dollar denim jacket, is a multi-million dollar contract.” Fans like the sound of that. Lesnar reads the contract: “Bobby Lashley VS Brock Lesnar at Elimination Chamber.” Now Lashley, if you’ve got balls, you’ll get down here and sign the contract! Well here comes Lashley! Lashley is in shades and a nice suit as he heads down the ramp and to the ring. Lashley gets himself a mic, and he says, “Well nice of you to grace us with your presence, Brock. I didn’t even know you were gonna be here. But since you are, let’s take a little walk down memory lane.”

Match number one, what happened? Lashley pinned Lesnar. Match number two, Lesnar won. But if memory serves, Lashley laid Lesnar out cold as he walked out of the ring. And the third meeting was at the Royal Rumble, and Lashley threw Lesnar out without a problem. Lesnar steps closer and hands Lashley the contract. Lashley takes it, and again says that if memory serves, Lashley will be done under his terms. Lashley is going to take Lesnar’s contract and let his agent look at it, and his manager, and his lawyer, then Lashley will get back to Lesnar. This will be under consideration.

Oh, is Lesnar surprised? Surprised that Bobby Who has one up on you? Lashley emphasizes that with a poke of the finger. Lesnar smirks, and he reels Lashley in! F5!! Lesnar puts the contract in Lashley’s pocket, but fans chant “ONE MORE TIME!” Lesnar figures why not! Fireman’s carry, F5!! The Beast puts his hat back on, takes his leave, and the ball is now in the All Mighty’s court. Will this all but guarantee Lashley will want that match with Lesnar in Montreal?

 

Johnny Gargano finds Candice LeRae backstage.

Mr. Wrestling says hello to Mrs. Wrestling, tonight is big, right? How is she feeling? Luck hasn’t been on her side but she feels good. Lumis has a picture for good luck. Wow, the whole family! Gargano, Candice, little Quill and their dog, Pawdme, and… Who is that in the back? Nikki Cross? Cuz she’s SPYING on them! Nikki laughs and runs off! Candice isn’t sure what to make of that, but will she worry more about it once she’s in the chamber with crazy Cross?

 

Women’s Elimination Chamber Qualifier Fatal 4 Way: Mia Yim VS Candice LeRae VS Piper Niven VS Carmella!

Raquel Gonzalez, Liv Morgan, Nikki Cross, Asuka and Natalya are waiting, and there’s just one spot left in the Raw Women’s Championship #1 Contender’s match! Will it be Michin, Mrs. Wrestling, the Scottish Viper, or the FABULOUS Princess of Staten Island going all the way to Montreal for that golden opportunity?

Raw returns, Candice is already in the ring as Mia makes her entrance. Then, last but not least, Piper Niven! She’s dropped the nickname, will she make a name for herself on the Road to WrestleMania? The bell rings and Piper CLOBBERS Mia and Candice! Piper and Mella stare down, Mella talking trash even though this is her return match. Piper scares Mella with a growl and Mella bails out to hang by hubby Corey Graves. Piper whips Candice into Mia at a corner, then runs in to SANDWICH them! Candice and Mia both fall, and Piper grins. Mella hops on for a SLEEPER! Piper throws her right off!

Mella bails out again, but Mia and Candice fire off on Piper! Piper shoves them away, runs, but into a double drop toehold! She ends up on ropes, DOUBLE DROPKICKS send her out! Fans fire up with Mia and Candice, but then the two friends circle. They fist bump, and then Mia rushes in. Candice avoids the clothesline but Mia jumps over the leg sweep. Candice deflects a boot to waistlock, but Mia switches. Candice elbows free, Mia blocks a kick, and Mia slips under to pick Candice up! BUCKLE BOMB! Mia hoists Candice up top, CHOPS her, then blocks another kick! Mia has Candice in an Electric Chair, but Candice POISON-RANAS!

Mella scurries in to cover Candice, TWO! Cover on Mia, TWO! Cover back on Candice, TWO! Another cover on Mia, TWO! Piper TRIPLE SPLASHES them all!! Cover on Mia, TWO!! Piper drags Mia up to throw her out, then she kicks Candice out. Piper covers Mella, TWO!! Piper drags Mella up, throws her right out, and Piper is all fired up! Orlando is fired up with her, and Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Piper has everyone in corners. Piper SPLASHES Mia, SPLASHES Candice, but Mella dodges! FABULOUS KICK! Piper rebounds to CLOBBER Mella! Candice CROSSBODIES, but Piper catches her! Mia runs in to hit a NECKBREAKER that takes Piper down! All four women are down but Piper bails out of the ring! Orlando fires up while the others stir. Mella shouts, “This is MY match!” But Mia says no it ain’t! Mella throws a forearm, but Mia ROCKS Mella! Mella throws another, but Mia fires off a flurry! Mia BOOTS, then wrenches to hit EAT DA FEET!! Cover, Piper drags Mella away!

Fans are torn but Mia is shocked! Piper storms in, Mia throws body shots and haymakers! Piper ducks a roundhouse to HEADBUTT! Mia wobbles, Piper reels her in but Candice is up top! MISSILE DROPKICK! Piper is down, Candice LIONSAULTS! cover, Mia breaks it! Friends or not, this is every woman for herself! Mia says sorry, but then Piper shoves Mia into Candice! Candice falls, but Mia runs, but into a SCRAPBUSTER! Cover, Candice breaks it! Piper pulls at her hair and bites her fingers in frustration, but she has Candice to herself now. Candice fires off haymakers, but Piper shoves her down. SENTON FLOPS as Candice moves!

Candice STEP-UP SENTONS! But Mella rolls Candice up! TWO!! Candice escapes, DEKCS Mella, and Mella goes to a corner. Candice runs in but is sent into buckles! Mella shouts at Candice and stomps a fabulous mudhole in! Fans boo as Mella moonwalks and says, “Mella! Is! Money!” FABULOUS BRONCO BUSTER! But Piper runs in! Mella dodges, CANNONBALL for Candice! FABULOUS KICK for Piper! Mella stacks Candice, and WINS!

Winner: Carmella, by pinfall (advances to the Raw Women’s Championship #1 Contender’s match)

The Princess of Staten Island took advantage, and she is heading to Montreal! But will she be the one heading to WrestleMania with that golden ticket?

 

Baron Corbin regroups with JBL backstage.

Corbin laughs it off. “That didn’t go as planned, did it?” But where are they going to eat? Maybe get some drinks or something? JBL asks, “We? There ain’t no ‘we’. I headlined WrestleMania, I sold out arenas all over the world, I was must-watch television. You are channel changing television. That sound you hear when you get the ring, that’s the sound of remote controls around the world changing the channel to watch anything but you. And I don’t give a damn about you. I give a damn about the fact that MY Hall of Fame legacy, my CHAMPIONSHIP career, has lost all credibility, because of YOU!”

Corbin frowns but JBL continues. “Modern Day Wrestling God? I’ll tell you what you need. Not some cute little shirt, but a red nose and floppy shoes. Because you are a clown. You do not belong near me.” Corbin asks where this is coming from. He can do better! He’ll do better! JBL says, “You can’t polish a turd. I tried.” JBL storms off, did Corbin blow another major opportunity?

Meanwhile, we can see in the background that MVP is talking with Cedric Alexander and Shelton Benjamin. They shake hands, having a much better talk than JBL and Corbin just did. As the Wrestling God partnership falls apart, are we seeing the return of the Hurt Business?

 

Piper Niven finds Candice LeRae backstage!

Piper blames Candice for that loss! Piper should be going to WrestleMania! Mia storms in and makes Piper back off. Piper says they’re both very luck. If either of them get in the way of her and the title again, she will not be forgiving. Mia and Candice stick together, but will they both have to worry about the angry Scottish Viper slithering around?

 

Cedric Alexander & Shelton Benjamin VS The Alpha Academy!

Speaking of, PRIME Alexander and the Gold Standard are going up against “Master” Chad Gable and his number one guy, Otis! It’s a battle of former Raw Tag Team Champions, will one of these teams make a big impression on the Road to WrestleMania?

Raw returns and MVP is with Cedric & Shelton in their entrance! The teams sort out and Gable circles with Cedric. They tie up, Gable waistlocks and SLAMS Cedric, but Cedric gets up, only for Gable to snapmare. Gable rolls with Cedric, has a waistlock again, but Cedric pries free, only for Gable to headlock for the takeover. Cedric headscissors, Gable kips free, but Cedric arm-drags Gable. Gable arm-drags back, then blocks Cedric’s arm-drag to say, “SHOOSH!” Gable stands Cedric up but Cedric mule kicks back. Cedric runs, handsprings, but into a GERMAN SUPLEX! Cedric flounders and Gable shouts, “A THANK YEW~!”

Gable tags Otis, the fans fire up and Otis struts. Gable cravats Cedric, Otis runs and CLOBBERS Cedric! Fans fire up but MVP protests. Cedric tags Shelton and he fires forearms on Otis! Shelton whips but Otis blocks! Otis whips, Shelton LARIATS, but Otis stays up! Shelton runs but Otis scoops! Shelton slips free to ROUNDHOUSE! Otis staggers, Shelton runs in to STEP- UP- NO!! Otis carries Shelton out for a WORLD’S STRONGEST SLAM! Fans fire up with the tree trunk and he runs, to SPLASH! Fans rally while Shelton sputters, but Otis CLUBS him on the back. Otis whips Shelton corner to corner hard and Shelton falls to the mat!

Fans rally behind Otis and he brings Shelton up. Shelton kicks but Otis blocks, and Otis spins Shelton around, only for the DRAGON WHIP to hit! Otis staggers around, Shelton runs in but into another SLAM! Otis drags Shelton up, puts him in a corner, and then runs in, only to get buckles! MVP coaches Shelton and he crawls, but so does Otis! Hot tags to Gable and Cedric! Cedric rallies on Gable, runs in to forearm smash int he corner, then snapmare and BASEMENT DROPKICK! MVP is fired up with Cedric and Cedric whips. Gable reverses, Cedric goes up and over. Things keep moving, NEURALIZER!

Gable flops out of the ring, Cedric builds speed! Cedric DIVES, but into an OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! Gable puts Cedric in while MVP shouts to shake it off! Gable is up top, for the DIVING HEADBUTT! Cover, Shelton breaks it! Otis CLUBS Shelton, throws him to a corner, and then runs in, only to get more buckles! STEP-UP KNEE! And then another STEP-UP KNEE! And a SAMOAN DROP!?! Fans are thunderous after that, but Gable KNEES Shelton out! Cedric is up, Gable CLOBBERS him! Gable goes up top, to MOONSAULT! Cedric avoids it, back suplex, LUMBAR CHECK!! Cover, Cedric & Shelton win!

Winners: Cedric Alexander & Shelton Benjamin, by pinfall

MVP is all fired up! He celebrates with his guys, is this the revival of the Hurt Business?

 

Backstage interview with The Miz.

Cathy Kelley knows The A-Lister was caught off guard last week by Rick Boogs, but what is his reaction to that return? His reaction? Miz will gladly give it to Pearce, along with a bill for the damages to his $10,000 suit that Maryse bought Miz! Who makes someone compete in a suit?! And as far as “Boogs” goes, what? He’s supposed to be impressed that Boogs can bench press 500 pounds and play the electric guitar? But speaking of, here comes Boogs! Uh, how did he get a meeting before The Miz? Oh, of course, he’s special, right? Wow, Boogs is special? Thanks, Miz.

But Boogs is just excited to be reunited with the Boogs Crew in the WWE Universe. The Boogs Crew? Oh, cut the humble crap. Miz would’ve won easily, if he was dressed and ready. Boogs got luck and he knows it, but he’s also lucky that Pearce is a lazy and incompetent official. Because if it was different and Miz was ready, it would’ve been a different story! Pearce walks up behind Miz and says, “Tell me how you really feel.” Miz sighs and smiles at Pearce. Pearce says that if Miz wants a rematch with Boogs, all he had to do was ask. In fact, how about next week? Boogs says that is righteous! THICK RICK VS The Miz, he’s so excited! Rick “Boogs out” on his exercise bar!

Miz looks at Pearce, then frowns as he walks away. But then Chelsea walks back in. She’s about to go to the ring, so she wants him to find an opponent, or she will call his boss. Okay thanks, bye~! The Hot Mess heads out, but who will Pearce send out to face her?

 

Chelsea Green VS ???

“Shh… It’s Chelsea.” Orlando has mixed feelings as The Hot Mess struts her way to the ring in her first singles match since coming back to the WWE. She’s already got an ego over the fact that she is back, but is she going to be ready for her opponent tonight? Because her opponent is ASUKA!!

Wait, is that Raquel Rodriguez in the crowd? Big Mami Cool snuck in from SmackDown to watch Raw in person, and she’s distracting Asuka! The bell rings and Chelsea SHOTGUNS Asuka down! Chelsea CLUBS away on Asuka, but now we see Natalya sneaking in from the other side! And Liv Morgan! Chelsea dribbles Asuka off the mat, brings her up, and shushes her, before she SLAPS her! Mella struts her way back out, since all the Chamber entrants are here. Chelsea BOOTS Asuka into buckles! Chelsea drags Asuka up, clinches, picks her up, COMPLETE SHOT! Chelsea sees everyone else and asks if they all watched that.

Chelsea says SHE should be in the Chamber, not “whatever this is,” in reference to Mella. Chelsea goes back to Asuka, kicks dirt, and also talks trash on Natty. Wait, Nikki sneaks out here now? Nikki laughs at Chelsea. Chelsea says if Nikki wants crazy, she’ll give her crazy! Chelsea also talks trash on Liv and Raquel. But Asuka gest back up! Chelsea senses something is wrong, and Asuka eggs her on in Japanese! Chelsea swings, misses, and Asuka fires off a strike fest! URAKEN! URAKEN! SOBAT! FRONT KICK! URAKEN and HEEL KICK! GERMAN SUPLEX! BUZZSAW! Chelsea wants a time-out!

Chelsea gets to a corner, Asuka runs in, but Chelsea BOOTS her! Chelsea runs in, into a CODE BREAKER, which Asuka then turns into a DOUBLE ARMBAR!!! Chelsea verbally quits, Asuka wins!

Winner: Asuka, by submission

The Empress of Tomorrow stands tall tonight, and she makes sure to look her future opponents in the eye. But then BIANCA BELAIR appears! The RawEST Women’s Champion is here, and she tells them all, “I want all of y’all to take a good look at each other and tell me what you see. Cuz I’ll tell you what I see. I see six top tier women in the WWE.” Fans cheer that. “But… Who has what it takes to win the Elimination Chamber match? Who has what it takes to go one on one with the EST of WWE? Because last year, I was in your position. I know what it’s like to be in an Elimination Chamber match, and I know what it takes to win. That’s how I got this.”

Bianca holds up the title, and says, “I want to wish each and every one of you good luck. Because whoever makes it out… I’ll be ready to see you at WrestleMania.” The EST has sent her message to all her potential contenders, but just who will survive the Chamber to meet Bianca in Hollywood?

 

Cody Rhodes is here!

Orlando goes nuts again as the American Nightmare makes his way to the ring. Fans chant Cody’s name as he gets the mic. “So, what do you guys wanna talk about? Hmm… Last week, I used my interview time to come out here and talk to you with respect about my current WrestleMania opponent, The Tribal Chief, the Head of the Table, the biggest superstar in the world, the Best in the World, Roman Reigns.” Fans boo Roman, then chant for “SAMI! SAMI!” So they just read Cody’s mind. Cody did say “current.” Cody’s path to WrestleMania is straight and clear, but the destination is foggy.

The reason being, Roman is putting the titles on the line at Elimination Chamber, “against a guy who has kicked up all the dust, a guy who has all the momentum, a guy that’s walking into his hometown, and that is Sami Zayn.” Fans cheer and chant for Sami and Cody continues. “You guys seem like a perfect judge for my next question. It looks more and more like at WrestleMania, it’s going to be me standing there, challenging for the championship against Sami Zayn.” Fans like the sound of that! Cody says this with the utmost respect. “I have respect for anyone avenging an injustice done to them. I have respect for my friend, Sami Zayn. I wish you the best of luck, may the best man win.”

But wait! “Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Paul Heyman. And I serve as Special Counsel, and The Wise Man, to YOUR Tribal Chief, the reigning! Defending! Undisputed! WWE Universal Heavyweight Champion, Roman…! Reigns!” Fans boo as Heyman continues into the ring. Fans chant “E C DUB!” and Heyman steps into the ring. Heyman tells Cody that something he may one day find out in life, “hopefully not at my expense, but one day, is that life at the very top in this industry requires an understanding that the only week busier than the week leading into a major event like the Royal Rumble, or watch the point, WrestleMania…

“Is the week coming out of a major event, like the Royal Rumble or WrestleMania. And I’m sure you know that the Tribal Chief and I have had a lot on our plates in the last week. And a few things fell through the cracks, admittedly, on the Island of Relevancy. One of which is the Tribal Chief and I, in front of the entire world, want to congratulate you on winning the 2023 WWE Men’s Royal Rumble match.” Cody and Heyman shake hands and Heyman says Cody earned it and that he’s very proud of Cody. Fans cheer that, and chant, “You Deserve It!”

Cody knows that his father had a nickname for Heyman, his brother had a nickname for Heyman. But if you’ll indulge Cody, Cody will go with “Mr. Heyman.” It is because Cody has “unparalleled respect” for Heyman and Heyman knows why. But if they’re going to pull back the curtain here, might as well pull it back for everyone here in the crowd and watching at home. This is a story that should’ve been told a long time ago. The year was 2000. The till in Cody’s family dried up a bit, and Hard Times was more than a famous promo. “Simply put, my family went broke.” $100 in a checking account for all of them.

To put a visual on it, Cody’s dad was doing local car commercials and not for money. Just so he could keep a car. Fans chant for Dusty now and Heyman gets emotional. “But then he got a phone call,” Cody continues. Heyman called Dusty. Heyman told Dusty that ECW as in town, that Steve Corino was gonna talk some smack, and that if Dusty would just agree to appear on camera, that if Dusty would be on ECW TV, Heyman “would pay him and pay him well.” Fans again chant for “E C DUB!” Cody says Heyman kept his word. In addition to the money that the Rhodes family sorely needed, ECW gave Dusty his confidence back, and Cody can never repay Heyman for that.

Flash forward a bit, and they might talk about it, but before coming back here, Cody was somewhere else, “causing a little bit of trouble.” From one disruptor in sports entertainment to another, Heyman showed Cody the way, so thank you again. Fans applaud that, and Heyman again gets emotional. Fans chant, “Thank You, Paul! Thank You, Paul!” Heyman says Cody is good. Cody really got Heyman there. Heyman was here to schmooze business with him, and Cody got him personally. Heyman sighs, fans cheer, and if we’re peeling back and shooting from the hip, let’s go all the way.

Heyman says this isn’t about him, and with all due respect and love and admiration and even acknowledgement, this isn’t about Dusty. This is about Cody, about everything Cody has fought for from the bottom to the top, out the door, back in, to winning the Rumble to main-eventing WrestleMania! “And winning WrestleMania is a whole different story. Just getting there is a long, long road.” And that’s Cody’s story. That’s Cody’s story that he needs to finish to find out if this is a dream come true, or if he must “suffer the nightmare of coming just this close.”

Because Cody isn’t just main-eventing WrestleMania, he’s trying to “take away from the greatest box office attraction and greatest champion of all time, Roman… Reigns.” Fans boo but Heyman says that’s no easy task for any mere mortal, let alone someone that has no idea what it’s like under that spotlight. Will Cody crumble and wither? Will he self-destruct under that pressure because no one ever prepared him for it? Heyman says down the road is the WWE Performance Center. At that very place, Cody’s father, the American Dream, Dusty Rhodes, trained and prepped the biggest stars of this generation.

Cody’s father, Dusty, trained and prepped Seth Rollins, trained and prepped Becky Lynch, trained and prepped Bayley, trained and prepped Kevin Owens, trained and prepped for the highest level of success, the Tribal Chief, Roman Reigns. But do you know who Dusty didn’t train and prep? Dusty did not train nor prepare Cody. Cody tries to smile through that but Heyman says he could counsel Cody that maybe, just maybe, Dusty wanted Cody to make it on his own. That’s how much love Dusty had for him. That Dusty wanted Cody to step out of the shadow of a national monument such as the American Dream himself.

Perhaps Dusty didn’t want Cody going through life as “Dusty’s son,” but as Cody Rhodes, “WrestleMania Main Eventer Who Stopped the Tribal Chief, Roman Reigns.” Maybe. But Cody, Heyman can’t convey in words how much he loved Dusty. But he can say to Cody’s face that Dusty loved Cody. To share this personally, in Heyman’s last conversation with Dusty, Dusty told Heyman… “You, Cody, were his favorite son.” Cody and the fans aren’t sure what to make of that, but then Heyman adds, “But Roman Reigns was the son he always wanted.” Heyman drops the mic and fans cannot believe he just said that!

Cody rushes up on Heyman but Heyman backs away. Fans want Cody to go after Heyman but Heyman wants him to reconsider. Cody offers a handshake, then makes Heyman take it. “I’m just trying to win a wrestling championship, and everybody, everybody, wants to make it personal. And that’s what you just did, and you’re not gonna pay for it, Mr. Heyman. Your boy, Roman Reigns, is going to pay for it. At WrestleMania, when I take those titles, personally.” Cody pushes the mic into Heyman then heads out. Will Cody ironically be hoping Roman beats Sami Zayn at Elimination Chamber so he can be the one to tear the Tribal Chief down?

 

Elimination Chamber Match Qualifier: Elias VS Montez Ford!

There is just ONE spot left in the United States Championship match, and it comes down to The Drifter and the flyest high flyer WWE has seen in a long time! Will all of Montreal #WalkWithElias? Or will this Profit be up, looking for gold?

Raw returns and Elias makes his entrance while Austin Theory is on commentary. The bell rings and Elias circles with Ford. They tie up, and they are in a deadlock. They go around, Ford puts Elias in a corner but Elias turns it around. The ref counts, both men let off, and they reset. Ford and Elias tie up again, Elias headlocks and he grinds Ford down. Ford powers up but Elias holds tight. Ford tries again, but Elias still holds tight. Theory isn’t concerned about Elias’ level of aggression, because the person with aggression is him. Ford powers up and out, but Elias runs him over! Cover, TWO!

Elias stands Ford up but Ford rolls Elias up, TWO! Ford cradles, TWO! Elias headlocks again and he hits a takeover. Ford keeps his shoulder up, moves around, and fans rally. Theory likes Ford’s athleticism, and the move on his regimen, but he’s intrigued to face Elias since they’ve never met in a match. Ford fights up, powers out, and things speed up. Ford hurdles then runs Elias over! Ford DROPKICKS Elisa, and then Ford snarls as he whips. Elias reverses but Ford KICKS back! Ford runs in, but into a FLAPJACK HOTSHOT! Ford sputters to a corner and Elias storms up to CHOP, UPPERCUT and repeat!

Elias fires off, the ref counts, and Elias lets off. Elias then stomps Ford again, CHOPS him, and whips to back drop Ford! Ford bails out, Elias pursues, and Elias RAMS Ford into barriers! Elias then brings Ford up to STEEL STEPS BACK SUPLEX! Elias roars and fans are torn as Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Elias has Ford in a motorcycle stretch. Ford endures, turns, but Elias drags him up into a waistlock. BACKBREAKER! Elias then goes to a corner and climbs up top, but Ford hops up after him! Ford fires haymakers, Elias throws body shots, and Elias CLUBS Ford down. Elias SUNSET FLIPS, but Ford holds onto the ropes! Fans fire up as Ford fights his way back up, and he ROCKS Elias with a right! Elias turns things into an Electric Chair Lift! SPINNING POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO! Theory says he thought that would end it, though he sounds a bit sarcastic.

Ford crawls to the apron and Elias storms over. Ford GAMANGIRIS Elias, ducks a haymaker, then bumps Elias off buckles to GAMANGIRI again! Ford goes back up, CROSSBODIES, and says “SUCK IT!” Ford rallies with clotheslines, then runs to LEAPING LARIAT! Elias staggers, Ford pumps up and hits a BIG back suplex! Kip up but Ford’s back tightens up. Ford powers through to STANDING MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO! Theory likes that Elias is still in this, but Ford brings Elias up. Elias CHOPS! ford ROCKS Elias with a right! Elias ROCKS Ford, but Ford ENZIGURIS! Ford runs, into the SYMPHO-KNEE!

Elias fireman’s carries for a DEATH VALLEY DRIVER! Cover, TWO! Ford survives and Elias grows frustrated. Theory doesn’t worry about the match, and goes on to talk trash on the other entrants. Theory thinks Johnny Gargano will be a stay-at-home dad, Bronson Reed probably can’t fit in a pod, but then gets mad at Kevin Patrick for bringing up the loss to Bronson back in their NXT days. Elias meanwhile RAMS Ford into a corner, RAMS him again, and again, and again! Elias backs off, runs in again, but Ford puts him on the apron! Elias shoulders in, slingshots, but into a HAYMAKER!

Elias flounders away, Ford goes corner to corner to FLY!! Direct hit and down goes Elias! Ford puts Elias in the ring and fans fire up! Ford goes up top, and leaps in FROM THE HEAVENS!! Cover, Ford wins!

Winner: Montez Ford, by pinfall (advances to the United States Championship Elimination Chamber match)

Ford takes the last spot, but Theory stands on the desk to hold up the title. Will Theory still have that title after the Elimination Chamber? Wait! SETH ROLLINS CLIPS THEROY! Theory hits the desk and Rollins laughs! Fans sing “OH~ OHH~ OHHH~!” before the CURB STOMP to the floor! The Now didn’t see The Visionary coming, will nothing and no one stop Rollins from winning in the Chamber?

 

Bayley talks with Damage CTRL backstage.

Dakota Kai is in crutches given what Becky Lynch did to her last week, but Bayley isn’t worry. She tells Kai & Sky the plan and prepares for the main event, which is up next!

 

Steel Cage: Bayley w/ Damage CTRL VS Becky Lynch!

The Role Model used Damage CTRL to take control away from The Man and deny us all this match on the Raw 30th Anniversary episode. But now, there’s no running from this, there’s no hiding from this, and there’s no getting around this! Will Bayley survive Becky’s Big Time wrath? Or will Becky leave Bayley behind just like when they were in NXT?

The bell rings, fans fire up, but Bayley smirks. Fans rally for Becky as she and Bayley circle. They feel things out, Bayley ROCKS Becky then climbs the wall! Becky yanks her down, she won’t let Bayley just run away like a coward. They talk trash, Bayley says Becky doesn’t tell her what to do or when to do it. Bayley shoves Becky, so Becky ROCKS Bayley! They go back and forth, Becky gets the edge, but Bayley kicks a leg out! Becky trips Bayley! Becky says she was going for the door, but that’s not how this is going down. Becky whips but Bayley turns it around, only for Becky to stop from hitting the steel.

Becky hits Bayley back, but Bayley also blocks hitting steel. Bayley elbows Becky away but Becky goes for an arm! Bayley and Becky go around, but Bayley throws Becky into the steel! Kai & Sky like what they see as Bayley sends Becky into more steel! Bayley stomps away on Becky, then digs her boots in! She also digs Becky into the frame of the cage! Fans boo but Bayley covers, ONE!! Becky is hanging tough, so Bayley decides to climb. Becky hurries over and dropkicks the cage to shake Bayley loose! Bayley falls to the mat, then Becky drags her up to RAM her into the steel! Becky drags Bayley up again to RAM her into more steel!

Becky runs to basement dropkick Bayley into the steel! And again! Becky stomps away on Bayley now, then pushes her face into the steel! “You think you can talk about my husband?! You think you can talk about my husband now, Bayley?!” Becky lets off, then drags Bayley up. Fans rally and Becky throws Bayley into more steel! Bayley drags herself out while Becky climbs the cage. Bayley hurries to anchor Becky, but Becky kicks her away. Bayley climbs up after Becky, but Becky kicks her again. Bayley anchors a foot, but Becky dribbles Bayley’s face off steel! Becky then adjusts, brings Bayley around, but Bayley RAMS Becky into steel!

Bayley dribbles Becky now, throws her off the ropes, then adjusts to MACHO ELBOW! Cover, TWO! Kai & Sky coach Bayley on as she has control, and Raw goes to break.

Raw returns just as Becky kicks out of a cover! And she wants the arm! Bayley hurries to push Becky away, but Becky hits a FLYING FOREARM! Both women are down and Orlando fires up! Kai & Sky coaches Bayley as she and Becky both stand. The forearms go back and forth again! Fans rally behind Becky as she gets the edge, uppercuts and SOBATS! Becky runs, ducks ‘n’ dodges, and JUMP KICKS Bayley down! Becky whips Bayley to a corner, but Bayley uses that to get up the wall! Becky grabs Bayley’s legs to SLAM them against the steel! And again! Bayley holds on with her hands but Becky RAMS her into the steel again and again! SUPER JUMP KICK!

Bayley ends up slumped on the ropes, for Becky’s SUPER GUILLOTINE LEG DROP!! Cover, TWO!! Fans rally and Becky fires up. Kai & Sky plead with Bayley as she gets up, but Becky clinches. Bayley slips out of the slam to SAIDO! Cover, TWO!! Becky is still in this and fans fire up again! Bayley drags herself to ropes, climbs the cage, but Becky rises! Becky drags Bayley back down, has her draped on the ropes and TOSSES her into the steel! Becky runs, to drop a leg, brother! But Bayley turns it into a HEEL HOOK!! Becky flails, reaches out, and crawls her way to the door! Becky grabs the frame but Bayley drags her away!

Bayley stands Becky up but Becky rolls to send Bayley into buckles! Roll-up, TWO!! Back to the HEEL HOOK! Becky still crawls, they roll to ropes, and Becky SMACKS Bayley off steel! And again! And again! Bayley is dazed but Becky hobbles back up. Becky climbs a corner but Bayley anchors her foot. Becky kicks her away, but Bayley tries again. Becky kicks Bayley again, but Bayley hurries up after her! They brawl, Becky shoves Bayley away! Becky is on the top rope but Bayley CLUBS her! Bayley clubs after and they braw on the top rope! Bayley RAMS Becky into the steel, SUPER BAYLEY2BELLY!! Cover, TWO!?!

Kai & Sky can’t believe it, and neither can Orlando! Bayley stalks Becky, but then decides to climb the wall! Bayley reaches the top! Becky hurries up after Bayley, catches up to Bayley, and they brawl up top now! Fans rally as the haymakers go back and forth! Bayley SMACKS Becky off the top! But Becky grabs an arm! Becky uses that to drag herself back up, DISARM-HER ON TOP OF THE CAGE!!! Bayley slips free, gets caught up on the ropes, and flops to the mat! But Becky just adjusts, only for Sky to climb up after her! The Evil Genius brawls with Becky, and then she kicks Becky down into the ring! Kai sneaks a crutch to Bayley!

Bayley JAMS Becky with the crutch! But wait, is that LITA?!? The living legend is here and she goes up after Sky! Lita YANKS Sky right off the cage! Lita storms up on Kai and uses her other crutch to YANK her into steel steps! Lita JAMS Sky, reels her in, TWIST OF FATE to the floor!! Bayley is flabbergasted, but she hurries for the door! Fans are losing their minds as Lita SLAMS the door shut! Bayley staggers into a MANHANDLE SLAM!!! Cover, Becky wins!!

Winner: Becky Lynch, by pinfall

Becky had Big Time back-up, was this the ace in the hole she talked about? Did Lita help Becky put behind her Damage CTRL once and for all?


My Thoughts:

A great Raw, and full to the brim at that. Great opening segment with Edge, Beth and Judgment Day. I am glad they’re giving us that Mixed Tag for Elimination Chamber, but I was hoping they would make it Edge & Beth VS Rhea & Dom. But at the same time, if Dom was involved, it’d be obvious Dom would take the loss just so The Grit Couple can win without really hurting Rhea’s momentum. With Finn in that match instead, it could go either way. Rhea could beat Beth to win it while we see Edge and Finn set up a 1v1 rematch for WrestleMania. That’s two birds, one stone, so perhaps WWE will go with that.

I also like that they used the brawl that broke out to bring in the Profits. Dom taking the Glam Slam was beloved by all, and of course we go right into Dawkins VS Priest. Priest winning makes sense, he really is the workhorse Edge said he is, Priest will have a great showing in the Elimination Chamber. Elias VS Ford was great stuff, even with Theory on commentary. Theory wasn’t bad, but what does he really add talking himself up? At the same time, it was great for Rollins to drive-by Theory to get himself some momentum while not in the ring. And as I’d hoped, Ford is in the Chamber now, so get ready for a From the Heavens off a pod.

Corbin VS Lumis being a comparative squash was a bit of a surprise, but it leading to JBL dumping Corbin was also quite surprising. At the same time, something had to give. The WWE never books Corbin strong forever, which is why Corbin has been through more changes to his character these last few years than anyone else. I’m not sure what’ll get Corbin to the next level, if WWE even cares to do that. I still think they skipped through the Bum Ass Corbin stuff too soon, but that’s on Vince. Maybe Corbin will start trying to earn JBL’s respect like he needs it as validation for who he is.

And because HHH’s team is really clever, they gave us another “Easter egg” in a promo, with MVP talking with Cedric & Shelton before their match. Their match against Alpha Academy was pretty good, though it seemed clunky at the start. Commentary touched on it, I think Shelton was just not quite ready for how big and strong Otis was gonna run in there. But Shelton & Cedric win because clearly, the Hurt Business is on its way back. Lesnar and Lashley had a good promo together, and I’m a little surprised we’re getting that match at the Chamber. Maybe there will be something crazy that happens, compelling a WrestleMania match. Plus, from Lashley’s promo, he’s counting their Rumble match confrontation as part of the record, so the Chamber match would be round 4, making Mania round 5 and a tiebreaker of sorts.

Good backstage promos with Adam Pearce. Miz putting his foot in his mouth and ending up in a rematch with Boogs was good stuff. Officially signing MMM to Raw was a nice detail to help give us a reason we’re even watching Pearce, which sets up Chelsea “Karen Joke Punchline” Green complaining to him and getting a match. And seeing as how Chelsea avoided bringing Asuka up, it was perfect that she had to fight Asuka. It was a logical surprise to have the other women in the Elimination Chamber match show up, though I feel like Chelsea could’ve been faster about talking trash. Asuka wins, of course, and Bianca had a great promo calling out all the contenders.

Speaking of, the Fatal 4 was great stuff, and I suppose Mella winning is a good choice. She’s returning, she’s got momentum just on that, but she’ll surely be used to build up Asuka in that match. Mella had that segment with Asuka last week, Asuka will definitely mist and eliminate Mella. Asuka is definitely a frontrunner to win the Chamber, and this return to Kana in presentation has to mean Asuka’s going to WrestleMania. Piper threatening Candice and Mia was good stuff. Piper might get a partner to take them on at some point, but we can get some great 1v1 matches out of Piper VS Candice and Piper VS Mia.

Cody’s promo segment with Heyman was so good. I just knew Heyman was setting up that insult on Cody about Dusty wanting someone like Roman as a son, and it was still powerful. And while Sami Zayn is great, it of course gave the idea that WrestleMania’s main event will stay Roman VS Cody. Then we got a great main event in the Steel Cage match. Granted, it was the usual Steel Cage formula: throw each other into steel; keep each other from climbing up and out multiple times; Heel still has minions interfere. But I did like that Lita showed up to help Becky in a callback to their Crown Jewel match. Lita helping Becky win was good stuff cuz it was DMG CTRL facing karma, and fans got to see the legendary Lita celebrate with the iconic Becky. Hell, maybe we get some kind of tag match now so Lita can return to WrestleMania.

My Score: 8.7/10


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