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News From Cook’s Corner 5.4.20: No Sale

Our buddy Cook is back in the news kitchen! He works over some of the more interesting topics of the week that was.

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Hi, hello & welcome to News From Cook’s Corner!

We’re three weeks into this experiment, and I’ve always known that three out of four of my columns are good. This has been the case as far back as I can remember. Even now in this Chairshot experiment with my writing four columns a week. Three are good, one is total nonsense. I feel like this is the one News column in the cycle that will be bad, because I’m being given nothing to write about. Which might be an indictment on the sites that present wrestling news, if I would like to pass the buck.

It’s not like “The Buck Stops Here” is a motto for anybody these days.

Everybody in the world is about passing the buck. That’s a good way to avoid mental health issues. If you act like your actions have no impact, which most baby boomers (including my parents) do, that alleviates a lot of stress. Younger folks like me think we have more of an impact (even if it’s not as much as my parents who refuse to think they have an impact actually do). It’s a catch-22 scenario. In pro wrestling, the people who have the most power are part of that baby-boomer generation that has ruined the planet, and has also ruined the wrestling business.

Did you watch the most recent episode of Dark Side of the Ring? There was a lot of BS going on from all the parties talking, but the lesson I learned was pretty simple. David Schultz was trying to protect the business. As dumb as he was in the process of protecting the business, that’s what he was taught. That business he tried to protect was outed by his boss (who allegedly told him to rough up that reporter) a couple of years later. Basically, Dr. D was wasting his time. There was no reason for him to try & prove the “realness” of the business when his boss was going to expose it to avoid paying taxes.

I believe that Schultz would have done something else to get blackballed. Dude was a bit of a loose cannon. That Mr. T business ended up being the final straw. Everything would have ended up the same way eventually. However, if Dr. D was in fact directed to shut people up by Vincent Kennedy McMahon (who would never admit such a thing because he’s just a good honest Christian fella), Vince deserves some of the blame for that nonsense.

All of the people associated with this business are evil. I’ve said this before, and it’s part of why I have no friends in the business, but I haven’t been proven wrong yet. So let’s get on with the fake news!

WWE News

Dutch Mantell created a bit of a stir last week when he stated that Vince McMahon was planning on selling WWE. Here’s what he tweeted.

I’m really not sure why this story took off the way it did. I assume it was a combination of two factors:

1. Dutch Mantell is a respected person within the wrestling world. Its not like somebody like me with no credibility tweeting out speculation.

2. We were bored.

In any event, WWE denies any reporting concerning the potential sale of the company. From where I sit, Vince selling WWE is one of those things I can’t imagine happening. I have assumed as long as that man has a pulse, he won’t give the company up. He loves sports entertainment and constantly working just as much as he loves money.

However, I have assumed a lot of things wouldn’t happen over the years. Many of them ended up happening. Wrestling truly is a “never say never” business. Vince selling out seems unlikely, but there has been smoke here the last couple of years. Enough smoke to make one wonder.

Jimmy Uso will reportedly be out six to nine months with a knee injury suffered during the triple threat ladder match at WrestleMania. This certainly sheds more light on Naomi’s loss against Dana Brooke in a Money in the Bank qualifying match. Better she be at home with her husband than at Titan Tower climbing the corporate ladder. Last thing we need is both of them out due to crazy ladder stunts.

Kevin Owens also says he injured his knee at WrestleMania, but he doesn’t seem too concerned about it. Us fat guys are used to our knees hurting due to our excess weight so I see where he’s coming from.

Becky Lynch hasn’t been very active in the ring lately, but she’s still doing big things. Lynch appeared on Showtime’s Billions on Sunday night, and Kris Tapley tweeted that Becky would be in an upcoming Marvel movie. I can’t say I would have predicted that Becky would be the next WWE Superstar to break into the movie scene, but it seems like a good career move to me. She’s taking acting lessons now and if I remember correctly she was taking them during her hiatus from the wrestling business as well. She’s getting pointers from The Rock & John Cena too, who would be the obvious people to ask. More power to her if she gets it done. I’ve never been one of those people that got mad at wrestlers for going Hollywood. Always seemed like the next step to me.

Speaking of Becky, there was a tidbit she dropped during a recent interview I’d love to hear more details on. Apparently, Vince McMahon was recently demonstrating how to properly fall off of a tower. This leads to many different questions. I know there are people that do that kind of a thing for a living, but is it something Vince should be doing at 98 years old? Was he actually taking bumps onto a gigantic pad? If so, should we be concerned that an elderly gentleman going through a ton of stress is jumping off of high places? Should we be concerned that this is the guy Wall Street puts so much faith in?

Also, since Vince now wants his workers to be glorified stuntmen, doesn’t that mean that Mick Foley came along 20 years too soon like Superstar Billy Graham did?

Other Wrestling News

Ring of Honor has cancelled their events through June, meaning they currently have no events on their calendar. On the bright side, Sinclair Broadcasting isn’t making their wrestlers travel across the country to work events in front of zero fans. However, as a natural-born cynic, I can’t help but notice that this illustrates the lack of importance of ROH to Sinclair’s business. Is there an easier place for them to cut costs than their wrestling company? The longer ROH remains on the shelf, the more likely it is that it’ll stay there.

Hopefully I’m wrong, and once the pandemic is over Ring of Honor returns stronger than ever. It just seems to me that Sinclair has higher priorities on their mind than ROH, and it wouldn’t shock me when it all ends if they realize “Do we really need to open that part of the business back up?”. After all, getting Donald Trump re-elected is vastly more important to Sinclair’s business than running wrestling shows.

We mentioned a random Dutch Mantell tweet getting a lot of traction earlier, so I wanted to mention another one here:

This is my way of saying if you’re reading this and haven’t seen Samoa Joe vs. Necro Butcher before, you should get on that. You have no excuse, as I assume you aren’t writing at least 4 columns a week and aren’t on at least two podcasts a week, while working an essential job 4 days a week. Watch that shit!

Plugs!

I looked at the Top 5 Relationships Between Wrestlers and Announcers.

I also looked at the Top 5 Curtis Axel Moments

Then I wrote about how AEW Can’t Hire All Of Their Friends. You know, just in case somebody there read that Axel article and got some ideas.

Thanks for reading! Stay safe, and put on a mask and gloves whenever you can.


Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
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