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Cook’s Top 5: Pro Wrestling Debates

It’s political debate season, and that means Steve Cook is here to rescue you with his Top 5 Pro Wrestling Debates!

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Paul Heyman vs Jerry Lawler Debate WWE WWF 1997 Chairshot Edit

It’s political debate season, and that means Steve Cook is here to rescue you with his Top 5 Pro Wrestling Debates!

Everybody’s talking about debates these days. I hear some people calling these upcoming Presidential Debates the most important in history. I feel like I hear this every four years, but it sounds louder in 2020 than it ever has before. Though, to be honest, I feel like most people have made up their minds at this point, and each side will claim victory as long as their guy doesn’t pee & poop themselves on camera.

Instead of talking about that, I thought it would be more fun to look back in the annals of wrestling history and talk about the five greatest debates on wrestling shows between wrestlers. Last I checked, this was a wrestling (and other nerd stuff) website. So let’s do that!

5. Christopher Nowinski vs. Scott Steiner (WWE Monday Night Raw, 4/14/03)

WWE liked to dip its toes into the political waters even before the McMahon family funded presidents. Back in early 2003, everybody was talking about the Iraq War, and everybody had an opinion on it. Including pro wrestlers! Christopher Nowinski was a noted war dove, while Scott Steiner…well, you can probably imagine Big Poppa Pump’s opinion on wars. Jerry Lawler moderated this debate in Richmond, Virginia, an area which was much friendlier to Republicans back in 2003.

This was different from other wrestling debates in that wrestlers were assigned an opinion on a topic, like a college debate. Unfortunately, Nowinski’s Harvard expertise was outshined by Steiner’s University of Michigan credentials, even though we later found out that some of the information behind the Iraq War was wasn’t quite accurate.

4. Kofi Kingston vs. Chris Jericho vs. The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. R-Truth vs. CM Punk (WWE Monday Night Raw 2/13/12)

Jerry Lawler had a tough time keeping order in these debates, and he really had a difficult time on his hands here. The King had to moderate a six-person debate involving the participants in the Elimination Chamber, and John Laurinitas & Vickie Guerrero also felt the need to chime in. He did the best he could though, and all of the debate participants came off as being deserving of the WWE Championship.

The crowd seemed behind Punk so I guess you’d have to consider him the winner, but I can also see an argument for R-Truth.

3. Chris Jericho vs. Orange Cassidy (AEW Dynamite, 8/5/20)

Could be some recency bias at hand here, but I thought the debate between Chris Jericho & Orange Cassidy was very well done. Eric Bischoff made his first appearance on TNT in nineteen years to serve as moderator. Jericho dominated most of the early part of the debate, as you would expect from a man of his verbal expertise. Add in the fact that OC passed on answering a few questions, and it looked like Jericho was on an easy road to victory. Then the mood changed when Bischoff asked a question about global warming. Jericho was the one with nothing to say while Orange gave a quick & concise view of the matter. Add in a closing where Cassidy put all of his cards on the able & explained how he was looking forward to their match, and it was easy for Eric to award the victory to Orange Cassidy.

Orange Cassidy doesn’t speak often, so it would behoove you to listen when he does.

2. Jerry Lawler vs. Paul E. Dangerously (WWF Raw is War, 3/10/97)

Extreme Championship Wrestling was ready to do their first pay per view event in April 1997. Vince McMahon was happy to give Paul E. & his wrestlers some airtime, heavily featuring them on an edition of Raw in the Manhattan Center. Jerry Lawler, an independent promoter of some repute in his day, took offense to all this. He believed that ECW was extremely crappy, and had no idea why Vince was giving them airtime. (The answer was that Vince was secretly paying Paul E. on the side to help the promotion along, but nobody outside a select few knew that at the time.)

Lawler’s distaste towards Paul E. & his promotion led to a debate being held on Raw with Jim Ross as the moderator. Not that he did much in the way of moderating, as both men went way over their time and didn’t address the one question he had. But if you have a debate with two talkers on the level of Jerry Lawler & Paul E. Dangerously in 1997, it’s going to be an interesting piece of business. References to Lawler checking out the seesaws in Louisville were made, Paul E.’s living situation was discussed, it was that perfect mix of work/shoot that got kids like me excited in 1997.

JR didn’t declare a winner, but I think you have to give it to Dangerously since Lawler called for all of his friends backstage to come down and face off with the ECW guys and nobody came. Not a good look for the King, but a great look for ECW.

1. John Cena vs. JBL (WWE SmackDown, 3/24/05)

Cena & JBL were on the road to WrestleMania 21, where they would face off for the WWE Championship. SmackDown General Manager Teddy Long wanted Cena & JBL to interact, but he didn’t want them beating each other up. SmackDown’s WrestleMania main event needed to be at 100%, so Teddy booked them in a debate where they wouldn’t be allowed to touch each other, or they would forefeit the title match.

On paper, you would think that JBL would be the favorite in such an endeavor. He obviously studied up on Republican debate performances for his character, and was usually able to outsmart his opponents. Not in this instance. Cena totally outclassed him on the microphone, and also vandalized JBL’s car & clothing in the process. Although, I must point out that Cena did touch JBL pretty hard with JBL’s own cowboy hat. Teddy could have penalized Cena if he wanted to, though there was no flesh on flesh contact so I guess that’s what he was waiting for.

An epic performance from Cena that I only wish could be repeated by the challenger for the Presidency in 2020. We’re not too far down the road from political candidates vandalizing each others’ cars. That’ll happen in my lifetime.


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Opinion

King: Plotting The Return Of Randy Orton To WWE

Chris King is back with his look at the best scenario to bring Randy Orton back to WWE, and the perfect opponent for his first big match back.

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Randy Orton 4

Chris King is back with his look at the best scenario to bring Randy Orton back to WWE, and the perfect opponent for his first big match back.

I wanted to bring everyone’s attention to a superstar that’s being overshadowed right now, ‘The Viper’ Randy Orton. After RKBRO lost the Raw Tag Team Championships to The Uso’s, Orton vanished from the company. There was speculation about his serious back injury and, it wasn’t until The Viper’s wife herself posted a candid picture of Orton after successful surgery.

While the focus in WWE right now is either on The Bloodline, Bray Wyatt and Uncle Howdy, or the returning Cody Rhodes, I felt this was a good time to start plotting The Viper’s return to WWE.

Randy Orton’s Return to WWE

On the Raw-After-Mania ‘The American Nightmare’ opens the show after a tough battle over Roman Reigns to win the WWE Championship. Rhodes with tears in his eyes is giving an emotional promo about his family’s legacy, and how much this title means to him. The WWE Universe is chanting “You Deserve It,” and out comes Finn Balor flanked by The Judgement Day.

‘The Prince’ starts by congratulating the new champion for dethroning ‘The Tribal Chief’ but, now he wants his title shot. Rhodes being the resilient hero accepts Balor’s challenge for the main event. The American Nightmare and The Prince are putting on a clinic of a match, delivering multiple finishers but unable to put the other away. Judgement Day starts to interfere when Orton’s music blares throughout the arena. Orton takes out the heels and helps his former protege. Rhodes capitalizes and hits Crossroads for the 1.2.3.

The former Legacy members are celebrating and embracing with a hug as Rhodes goes to raise his newly-won title. In the blink of an eye, The Viper strikes and takes out Rhodes with an RKO Outta Nowhere! The champion is knocked out as Orton hoists the title above his head while trash-talking his now rival. Orton violently throws Rhodes out of the ring and delivers a nasty-looking draping DDT onto the floor.

The Build–And Culmination–of Randy Orton vs. Cody Rhodes

Orton stares giving 2009 vibes as Rhodes’ head raises, so The Viper runs and delivers a punt kick. WWE officials come out and break things up and the champion is stretchered out of the arena. The show closes with Orton grinning over the destruction he has caused to his former protege. Over the next few months, Orton and Rhodes enter into an extremely personal rivalry over the coveted prize. We finally make it to SummerSlam where both men agree to raise the stakes and do war inside HELL IN A CELL!!!!

This is how I would book The Viper’s return to WWE. If you feel like this should be written differently, I’d love to hear your thoughts!


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Opinion

AJ’s Phenomenal Opinion: Bray Wyatt

So everyone loves Bray’s return right? Right? Well the McDonald’s Sprite spicy opinions of AJ…may feel differently.

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Well, just because my work schedule changed, doesn’t mean I’m not going to drop some opinions of mine, of which, I haven’t done too bad with. I got Three out of Five for my returns right a few months back and this is going to be about the last entry on that previous list. I knew for a fact that Bray Wyatt would return to the WWE in some way shape or form and time for some… controversy.

As my favorite ratings winner of 83 Weeks once said, Controversy Creates Cash and boy HOWDY… Do I have something to get off my chest here so sit back, order some Chairshot Merch and lets get on with Adam’s… Rants for a bit.

Initial Thoughts

Bray coming in and making a return to the WWE was an inevitability. Death, Taxes and I guess WWE Returns are always guaranteed anymore and maybe we could get some new creativity with a supernatural gimmick. Bray has always had that supernatural to him ever since he had the Wyatt Family in Erik Rowan, the late Luke Harper and in the end, Braun Strowman. The Wyatt’s had a control like no other and were beloved for a moment in the WWE.

Bray did a lot to make sure things were in motion but for some reason any massive feud he had, he failed. Following a bunch of injuries to the rest of his family and even releases later on, he seemed to at least get some traction going for him. WWE Champion, somehow got Randy Orton with him, Universal Championships and got those big match wins that eluded him in the Wyatt Family beginnings. Let me also say this as well, I actually liked the Firefly Funhouse Match with Cena as a “This is Your Life” match of sorts. I was tickled and entertained… Then much like Bray in character, something changed.

Dark and Terrible Lurk with Fiends

We had a lot to figure out during the Pandemic. Like A WHOLE HELL OF A LOT. Through it all though, WWE figured it out but the person that helped these types of ideas, soured them drastically. Lets go back to the WWE Championship run in 2017. Randy Orton won the Royal Rumble that year and he wouldn’t betray Bray, right? Well he does and Mania for the two is set, Orton against Wyatt for the WWE Championship and it was… terrible. Random images of maggots and decay (Not the IMPACT Stable) popping up into the ring as the match goes on and Randy still wins. Through head game attempts, Bray comes up short in the big match moment. That’s odd but maybe it will be a bigger pictu– and Jinder Mahal wins the Championship. Okay.

Wyatt returns as this Mister Rogers character and has a darkness inside of him with The Fiend. Now we had this amazing theory or maybe that’s what happened but the story was, anyone The Fiend fought, they revert back to their best selves. The Miz returned to be the A Lister, the guy who grabs a microphone that you love to hate. Finn Balor doesn’t have the Demon Gimmick anymore because after his loss, he’s the Prince again. The cocky guy that walks around because he is the best, he gives no care in the world. Seth Rollins, who he took the WWE Universal Championship from, went from a dorky sweetheart back to the asshole taking every opportunity that he could get because he’s that much of a weasel and when he lost… He lost to Goldberg. The one guy that has been the same since 1997. Drums, Pyro Bath, Spear, Jackhammer, “Who’s Next?” and during that time, he sucked at points. One of those Rollins matches was in a Hell In A Cell match, the red cage with the red lighting. Match ending with a Stoppage from the referee… INSIDE OF A HELL IN A CELL (I think Sean Waltman said it best… Why did the match stop? It’s supposed to be Hell?) and it’s one of the rare times that I agreed with wrestling’s favorite Uncle… That was Negative Stars for a match.

After Goldberg, he didn’t have a commanding presence. He recruited Alexa Bliss who was already over whether she was a Heel or Face and made everything so unbelievably… boring. Alexa had to carry that idiotic demon gimmick and doll, not having anything really supernatural. Just some wrestling and Brock Lesnar cleaning up everything faster than a Chop Shop in main events and segments. He tried to return and make his grand return, beating the Universal Champion Braun Strowman at Summerslam just to falter a literal week later to Roman Reigns, who proceeded to never look back from that win. Bray gets fired after and no more supernatural ideas. Undertaker isn’t around really and retires, Kane is a mayor. Paul Bearer is no longer with us and everything is just… normal.

Wyatt’s Six (Reasons I Tune Out)

In 2022, Vince retires seemingly from everything and Triple H is at the helm, could he bring balance to everything? He makes a bunch of returns that people love seeing. Johnny Gargano, Dakota Kai, Tegan Nox, Bronson Reed, Dexter Lumus just to name a few and of course, the big one that everyone wanted. Bray Wyatt.

Bray makes this heartfelt return and everything seems great. We get him as him, he makes this weird build to a Wyatt 6, assuming we think it’s the Firefly Funhouse and he’s just talking, building. Alright well who is going to be these six figures because they are more than just puppets this time around. A masked man named Uncle Howdy that people think is Vincent Marseglia or maybe a bearded Bo Dallas who is Bray’s real life brother and he……… pops in and out to confuse people. Okay… (1)

Alexa might return to the 6 because of all the segments and gets darker and a heel. Alright that is perfectly fine but, WHY IS VINCENT DALLAS HERE AGAIN TO JUST INTERFERE WITH RANDOM THINGS? Okay… fine. (2) Alexa has a Women’s Championship match against Bianca Belair, that will make sense of thi– it’s a clean finish… Why is it clean? No Howdy, No Wyatt just a random VHS tape like I’m watching The Ring about her being dark after the match. Okay…… (3)

Oh Wyatt finally gets a feud for his return. I almost forgot about that! Who will be this first victim? LA Knight.

…Okay…… (4)

Maybe this will be good. They are both great on the microphone, maybe Bray has new moves that he can do and I know all too well how good LA Knight is, I have been an Eli Drake/Shaun Ricker fan for years. This could be a great match that they have, they announced it for the Royal Rumble so it’s going to be big and it’s a… Pitch Black Match presented by Mountain Dew.

O…okay…… (5)

The Royal Rumble is upon us, the Men’s Rumble starts the show and we all have adrenaline in our soul for it and now is this weird Pitch Black Match and it’s not a cinematic match. It’s in the ring, No Count Outs and No Disqualifications. LA Knight comes out in his iconic Yellow Attire and Wyatt is talking… with a mask on. The lights turn off and the ropes are glowing a neon greenish-yellow… with an announce table spot that… has Nickelodeon Slime inside of it when they break it? Okay fine… I knew the match was going to be dumb and gimmicky from the Mountain Dew Sponsorship. Bray wins, yay. LA Knight comes back with a Kendo Stick and… we get invulnerable Bray again… they don’t hurt. Lets go to this crash pad and Bo Marseglia shows up from somewhere and just elbow drops him from maybe fifteen to twenty feet with pyro and the Firefly Funhouse Puppets appear at the top, to watch a fire… And there is number six…

Actual Thoughts on Current Bray Wyatt, Post Rumble

I absolutely hate it.


This was awful. You build whatever insignificant thought process of the Wyatt 6 has going for it when Uncle Howdy does the best Cap’n Shane O elbow drop for a hellfire effect. At least the pyro was better than the AEW Explosion Match I guess…

Regardless, how does LA Knight come out of all of this moving forward? He lost an idiotic gimmick match and looks presumed dead. This just makes me think that whoever in whatever interview said Bray Wyatt is a creative mastermind needs to put whatever they have down before we hear about their T.O.D. posted somewhere. This Pitch Black Match is somehow worse than that Rollins Hell in a Cell Match and that takes talent. At least a good amount of alcohol lulled that from my brain but this made me remember that and enjoy the thought of that match happening with its finish. The best way I can picture how this was pitched was Burnt Dogshit, wrapped in a Kerosine Blanket with… sorry had to look at what I wrote, not putting that on websites but… people saw a Creative Quesadilla and when we got the actual product, it gave Salmonella poisoning and E Coli at the same time.

I really don’t want to see another Bray Wyatt match… again. Whoever gave him creative, take it away immediately. As much steam as Bray Wyatt gets in promos or possible matches in the past, the only steaming he gets at the end, is steaming piles of shit. You can say, he’s getting paid millions where I’m a little troll on the internet with typing power and I really don’t care but to me, Triple H… you finally got your first failing grade with something in your leadership role in WWE.


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