News

Mitchell’s Talking Smack Report! (9/19/20)

Talking Smack is about to get sassy!

Published

3 years ago

September 19, 2020

Steven Mitchell

Fallout from SmackDown gets sassy, ya nasty!

Heavy Machinery needs legal council, the Sassy Southern Bell tasted her own medicine, and Jeff Hardy wants news on his ladder match proposal! All this on Talking Smack!

Kayla Braxton and Xavier Woods welcome us back!

With Clash of Champions just over a week away, Kayla and Woods are very excited after what we saw on Friday Night SmackDown. Especially with the ThunderDome allowing for a new way to reconnect with the fans. And even more exciting is Sasha Banks is still going to be in the second season of The Mandalorian! Oh and Big E, Woods’ man, got his payback on Sheamus! People poked the bear, but now Big E proved he could be intense! Poor “Larry,” though… But WWE has been around long enough that everyone should know, if you sign up for a job, you better watch out for someone coming for revenge. Maybe this week’s guests should take a page from Big E’s book when it comes to their own problems.

Heavy Machinery joins Talking Smack!

Otis and Tucky give Woods a big group hug! Double decker sandwich! Hello, spicy pepper Kayla. She needs a shirt for that. But then if Kayla is a pepper, Mandy is a peach, what is Woods? The plum! Juicy plum! Now things are getting weird. But to business! A great ending to the fight with Miz where Otis stripped Miz down. Miz looked funny in his undies, but it was funnier to see him run away. You mess with the bull, you get the horns! YES! COMIN’! Woods remembered back to those old tuxedo matches. Otis was seeing red, he was grabbing and tearing at whatever he could. Tucky thought Miz was more a silk boxer type. Otis is proud of being a whitey tighty guy.

Kayla says Miz and Morrison have the audacity to sue them for that! Tucker points out it’s specifically Otis being sued, but still. That’s a technicality of the “affa dayfa.” Well, Tucky’s smart. He’s an accountant and Otis can’t count anything. Well he can count on the MITB contract. They’ve outsmarted Miz and Morrison so far. You always know Miz and Morrison have something up their sleeves, so Otis had something, too, even though he doesn’t wear sleeves. But Otis looks into those guys’ eyes and sees danger. “This bad boy,” the MITB contract, will one day bring him the Universal Championship. It’ll be a shake down on SmackDown!

But who is Miz calling? He got someone to get Mandy taken away. How is she, by the way? She’s handling this, but they’re both confused and conflicted. The bond is stronger than ever. Otis has his sweet peach, brother Tucky, and now coach Chad “Shorty G” Gable in the weight room with him! Otis wants to make sure he’s tight, but this is already peak male performance right here! #RealManBod. Be positive, everyone. But Woods says this is somehow for Otis’ good! Well they think Otis is weak minded, he and Tucker are just funny guys. But when it comes down to business, they keep on comin’! You wanna play games? Tonight, anywhere you want, Miz and Morrison will find out what playing games is all about! Hoo boy, Otis’ blood pressure is up. Take some breaths.

Tucker summarizes what Otis is saying: you mess with Heavy Machinery, you get what you get. Everyone loves a good time, but when it comes down to brass tax, knuckle sammiches, baby! Hot and fresh! Breakfast, lunch and dinner! Kayla thanks them for being on the show and they definitely have Talking Smack’s support. Otis is the bell of the dumbbells, baby. Big group hug and a kiss on the hand for Kayla. Heavy Machinery heads out, but will they get even with Miz and Morrison in the end?

Lacey Evans joins Talking Smack!

The Sassy Southern Belle is here, with a complete health ‘n’ safety ensemble with the hand sanitizer and the face shield. She also has a little Lacey Evans action figure to put on display. She also plugs her shirts, like it’s QVC. Kayla says this isn’t really that kind of show, but Lacey says it’s whatever the hell she says it is. “Give me a second, ya nasties.” Lacey finally takes a seat and keeps her social distance. Kayla hopes that with the short jokes Lacey made, she doesn’t actually have a problem with short people. After all, Kayla is the same height as Nikki, so…”The truth hurts, honey.”

Lacey keeps showing off her shirts and Kayla says it’s good to see her in good spirits, considering her last couple of weeks. Lacey says everyone saw she should have a splint on her neck, but she’s tough and will get over it. Yes, how was taking the Sister Abigail? Let’s not talk about that. Let’s talk about Lacey Evans, the classy, sassy Southern Belle! Well speaking of her, then, she is dealing with some issues as far as matches go. Did you not see her out there live? Did none of you nasties see that? Win or lose, she comes in and sets a proper example. She may not be champion yet, key word “yet,” she will show the women, from mothers to daughters, what a legitimate lady is and what she can do. So in the ring or on her own talk show?

Funny Woods mentions that! Lacey doesn’t want to relive the Moment of Bliss moment, please stop playing that or she’ll leave. Kayla says Woods shouldn’t give Lacey ideas. No one wants a show where it’s just Lacey insulting people. Lacey says she doesn’t insult people, she just points out the obvious. If weaklings get upset, that’s not Lacey’s fault. But the Sassy Southern Belle should have a show to show women, including Kayla, “how to conduct themselves appropriately.” From cooking, cleaning and keeping a man, and more. America needs Lacey. Would anyone watch that, though? Well because you’re too sensitive. Another reason you need Lacey.

Well, what did she say to Alexa to upset her? Well she’s said a lot. What specifically does Kayla mean? Well, when she mentioned The Fiend. Lacey says we are not talking about that! You’re lucky Lacey can even turn her neck! Kayla apologizes, but just wants to get to the bottom of things. Kayla has been to Lacey’s home, they spent a beautiful afternoon. Lacey criticizes Kayla for not knowing how to get up early, garden, cook or even catch shrimp! Can you imagine a woman that can’t get her own food to feed her man? Not that Kayla has one.

“Women like that are what’s wrong with America. They have no idea how to be a legitimate lady.” But Lacey is here to set the example, on her own show! Well “good luck” with that. Your time is up on the show. Take those glasses off, they don’t match your face, Kayla. Well please take your things away. Maybe in a paper bag. Woods is uncomfortable. Lacey excuses herself to go cook dinner for her husband. Woods wants to see Kayla VS Lacey. Don’t put that out there! Moving on…

Jeff Hardy joins Talking Smack!

The Charismatic Enigma is back, his plates on THE Intercontinental Championship are his own designs. Woods loves Hardy’s creativity. Hardy has always known who he is and what he’s about, and Woods loves that. Hardy agrees that without his creativity, he wouldn’t know what he’d do. And Kayla likes that he lays down the law on this title! No more bickering from AJ Styles and Sami Zayn. It’s time for a Triple Threat LADDER MATCH at Clash of Champions! Hardy made the challenge, it is OFFICIALLY booked! Winner take all, no other champion but the winner! Obviously that’s Hardy’s thing so he’s confident he’ll win. Hardy would save up money to buy ladders to use and destroy them.

Now obviously, Sami is annoying, was gone but still thinks he’s champion, Styles is great and he knows it, but then there’s Hardy being modest, just stating the facts. 43 years old, doing what he’s been doing since he was 20, he’s blessed. Does Hardy feel he has a target on his back in this return? Kayla says people are jealous. Hardy says that the feud with Sheamus was controversial but intense. The bar fight, Sheamus being a jerk, that was something. But now with Styles and Sami, Hardy feels he’s at least where he’s meant to be. Styles was on last week’s Talking Smack, claiming Hardy cheated. Hardy doesn’t have to say anything, he has a knee brace because of a bad knee. But Clash will be where Hardy shuts everyone up. Weirdly, Miz patted Hardy on the back after that knee brace thing.

Hardy loves being in the Ladder match, he’ll hear the fans no matter where they are. Sami and Styles are coming after Hardy, even in Hardy’s specialty match. Will the 2v1 be a problem? Well Hardy always feels the odds are against him. He’s beaten the odds many times, but he’s not about proving them wrong but proving himself right. He’ll be in a ladder match with those two, but he won’t be alone with the fans behind him. Woods admits if others had that mentality, they’d actually be champion now. Kayla is confident Hardy will prove the naysayers wrong. Hardy says it just feels good to be where he is right now. Woods is “beyond excited” for this match.

Any words for the fans watching? If you can’t break a table, break a ladder! A great closing to another week! Will Hardy stand tall and high above the others when Clash of Champions is said and done?

My Thoughts:

Yes, we’re covering Talking Smack now! Last week’s episode with the Mandy Rose business proved something relevant could be shared here, but even this week had something. The Intercontinental Championship ladder match is official, though of course it was going to be with how it was said on SmackDown. Hardy, Styles and Sami are definitely going have to a great match and could go either way. The Heavy Machinery segment was really good, Otis is great at just being himself on that mic. I wonder if Tucker again pointing out the suit is just against Otis is foreshadowing a betrayal… I would hope not, there are few WWE tag teams on either brand, and fewer that are being used properly.

And there are some interesting parallels between the tension of Charly Caruso and Zelina Vega for Raw to Kayla and Lacey here on SmackDown. Would there be a Survivor Series kickoff match where Charly and Kayla team up against Zelina and Lacey? Probably not, but that’d be amazing to see happen.

Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!

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(NOAH) NOAH NEWSLETTER VOL.200 ~ 7TH MAY 2023

New alliances, MMA challengers and the return of a beloved tag team!

Published

4 weeks ago

May 8, 2023

Hi5ame

NEWS

AXIZ reunite

Go Shiozaki lost in his return match at MAJESTIC (4th May at Ryogoku Kokugikan) to Katsuhiko Nakajima’s Vertical Spike. While he was lying on the mat, with a worried Kaito Kiyomiya and Yoshiki Inamura looking on, Katsuhiko Nakajima got on the mic and said, “What is this, Go Shiozaki? This awkward state? Is this “I AM NOAH?” Where did that strong Go Shiozaki go? Shall we do it again? Stand up!”, Everyone, including Shiozaki, thought that Nakajima wanted to fight him again and so Shiozaki used Nakajima to pull himself up. Nakajima had his usual devilish smile on, and grabbed Shiozaki by the hair as if he was going to strike him.

What he actually did was offer him his hand, which Shiozaki took, and to the wild screaming of the crowd, AXIZ reformed and the two would not let go of each other.

Kenoh was outraged and demanded to know what was going on. Manabu Soya later left the ring shaking his head. Backstage, Nakajima confirmed that yes, AXIZ were back and the reason why he had left was because (and this sounds familiar) Kenoh didn’t need him, Kongoh didn’t need him, and he didn’t need them. Kenoh growled that he would destroy anyone who got in his way and that included All Japan, All Japan’s Suwama, Dragon Gate (probably the whole roster) and Katsuhiko Nakajima. Kenoh remarked that usually Kongoh didn’t punish people who left (he probably doesn’t mean the chaotic juniors), but it seems that he himself will have another singles match with Nakajima on the 31st May at Shinjuku FACE. Kenoh has also branded AXIZ as a “thief and traitor duo” and has warned elderly AXIZ fans not to make any bank transfers. He has also claimed that while he was injured, Go Shiozaki is a “salary thief” for doing nothing for NOAH during that time, and not even updating his Twitter.

Related articles

Kongoh’s leader, Kenoh, denounces Go Shiozaki and Katsuhiko Nakajima’s AXIZ reunion as a “thief and traitor duo”

NOAH promise more women’s matches

Following the four woman tag at MAJESTIC, Ryo Mizunami hinted afterwards that NOAH will be holding more and she (and others) want to be a part of this. Nothing more has been said about the possibility of a women’s GHC Championship though.

N-1 VICTORY 2023 Announced

NOAH have announced that the N-1 VICTORY 2023 will make a return in August 2023, and as is tradition, will have the final night held in Osaka in early September. No names have been announced as of yet, but the league will head up for a couple of dates in Sapporo, Hokkaido (NOAH have not been to Hokkaido since before the pandemic when they would traditionally share a ring with Big Japan and then get drunk together over a lost weekend). No names have been announced as of yet.

Masakatsu Funaki challenges Josh Barnett

Following his victory over Shinya Aoki at MAJESTIC, Masakatsu Funaki challenged Josh Barnett, who was sitting at ringside to a match. Barnett accepted, but NOAH are yet to state the date when the match will take place. Funaki also seems to be hinting that his career is now winding down, and he wants to tie up any loose ends; such as the Aoki match and the challenge to Barnett, who he has never faced before, but seems to have always wanted to. Mutoh told Funaki to keep going until he is sixty, but Funaki, who makes no pretense about the fact that he is approaching his mid fifties, seems to think that this is unlikely.

Eita alone, Daga joins “the new STINGER”. HAYATA not welcome either.

During the STINGER vs I guess the last of Perros Del Mal De Japon, Eita and Daga, Eita caught Daga with the Imperial Uno, which meant that Yoshinari Ogawa could capitalize, and he went to pin Eita. However, Ogawa broke the pin and got to his feet slowly, dragging Eita up by his hair. He looked across the ring to Daga, and Daga turned on Eita. Eita, now utterly alone, was beaten up after the match, and no one at all came out to help him as there is now no one left. Backstage, Eita on all fours, said that from now on he would be trusting no one and didn’t believe in friends (NOSAWA posted “…..” to this) and demanded a singles match with both Ogawa and Daga. As for STINGER, Chris Ridgeway said that from now on he, Daga and Ogawa were the new STINGER. Daga gave no reason for his turning on his old friend, STINGER rarely give reasons anyway, and Ogawa said that HAYATA and Eita were no longer considered “friends”. Eita will get his singles matches on the 14th May at Korakuen Hall, and with Daga on the 21st in Kobe. Fans are wondering if Eita and HAYATA will team up, but HAYATA seems to be more preoccupied with the GHC Junior at the moment.

Ring intruder at Korakuen Hall

At NOAH’s Korakuen Hall event on the 29th April, a young woman intruded into the ring at the start of Kaito Kiyomiya, Sean Legacy & AMAKUSA vs Kongoh, and started imploring Kiyomiya to “show us a stronger NOAH” because he was “the savior of NOAH”. She was gently expelled from the ring by Referee Nishinaga, Kiyomiya and the young rookie, Taishi Ozawa. No further information has come from NOAH or any news outlets as to who this young woman was or what the consequence of her intrusion was, and it is rare in Japanese wrestling that a fan should intrude into the ring, but NOAH took the precaution to check bags at their fan event and MAJESTIC, and extra wrestlers were seen at ringside, which fans said felt like security. The very real threat was that she could have had a knife. New Japan’s Toru Yano has also spoken out about fan behavior. He didn’t mention fan invasion specifically, but more wrestlers being harassed by fans when at baggage claim at airports, at convenience stores etc. Kenoh kind of saved the situation by telling Kiyomiya that if he was stronger, then strange people wouldn’t do things like this!

Shinjiro Otani

At an event held on the 6th May to help with his hospital bills, Shinjiro Otani made an appearance. Takashi Sugiura bought him some flowers and Otani thanked him for not giving up wrestling due to the injury that Otani sustained during the title match. He also warned Sugiura, that he would see him in the ring again. Sugiura said he was waiting for that day.

Voodoo Murders vs Kongoh

SUWAMA broke into NOAH’s event at Korakuen Hall on the 29th April and gave Kenoh, a massive Last Ride powerbomb. Shrieking that he was going to take the All Japan World Heavyweight Tag back to where it belonged, i.e. All Japan, he was prepared to come and have a match in NOAH (with Kono his partner) to retrieve them. There then followed a comical scene involving the infamous lifts, where a quaking old man appeared and was told by Suwama to hold the doors. The match has been set for NOAH’s Kobe event on the 21st May. The event will not be broadcast live, but I would imagine this match will be through NOAH’s official Instagram. Suwama got further revenge on Kenoh at All Japan’s show on the 7th when Kongoh and Voodoo Murders had a pre match. Kenoh was given another powerbomb, shoved into a body bag and Voodoo Murders posed with their boots on him, before carrying him backstage on their shoulders. Half in and half out of the bag and dumped on the floor, Suwama told him that now he was in hell, those titles were theirs.

TITLE NEWS

GHC Heavyweight

In a match that saw Naomichi Marufuji pull out old moves (Shiranui and Shiranui Pole Shift, plus a rope bounce that he hasn’t used for a while) and moves that he has worked on, Jake Lee retained the GHC Heavyweight at MAJESTIC. However, no challenger came forward, and fans were expecting to see Go Shiozaki come out. Jake thanked Marufuji and ran down what he had felt in his past title defenses; Kiyomiya was the future, Nakajima the strength and Marufuji the history. Jake wondered what was next and predicted that on the 14th May at Korakuen Hall, things would start to happen. Jake’s match then is himself teaming with Good Looking Guys (including YO-HEY and Tadasuke) against two NOAH Juniors (Seiki Yoshioka and Atsushi Kotoge) against Kaito Kiyomiya and Takashi Sugiura. Fans think that it will be Sugiura who challenges.

“Half the guys don’t think about it”, the real intention of outside invader Jake Lee’s cut down of the Ark warriors

“I can’t win in a direct match anymore”…Naomichi Marufuji aims to surpass his teacher, Mitsuharu Misawa, in recapturing the GHC

“It’s like a dream” – Jake, “Full speed for the first time in a while”, Marufuji

“Naomichi Marufuji must do his best here and now”, Mutoh speaks! 4th May Ryogoku Kokugikan, the direction of Jake vs Marufuji

GHC Junior Heavyweight

HAYATA was forced into doing some light comedy, when at the title match signing/press conference, Ninja Mack told him that he didn’t want him to be injured in their title match, and handed him a gift of bandages and athletic tape. HAYATA tried to keep a straight face. However, Ninja Mack found nothing to laugh about when HAYATA beat him and went to hand him his presents back. Apparently, HAYATA kept the bandages, as he only tried to give back the athletic tape. Ninja Mack knocked them to the floor and walked off. The GHC Junior Heavyweight is the only one with a challenger out of all the championships at the time of writing, as HAYATA has nominated Dante Leon as opponent. Dante Leon took the belt from Ninja Mack, but HAYATA feels he has to defeat everyone who held it while he was injured. Dante says he is coming back to take his belt back. Pre matches will take place, with the title match on the 17th June in Nagoya.

GHC Junior signing ceremony: Ninja provokes the champion with first aid supplies, HAYATA “excellent”

GHC National

El Hijo Del Dr Wagner Jnr continues to cement himself as one of the greatest GHC National Champions, by defeating Hideki Suzuki at MAJESTIC to retain in an epic match. Suzuki was even booed as he knocked Wagner Jnr down with a punch early on after Wagner Jnr had yelled “Arriba Mexico!”. Suzuki didn’t look as if he was too bothered, and fought most of the match with a cool hard expression. El Hijo Del Dr Wagner Jnr isn’t on any cards for the rest of May 2023, so it looks as if the title will probably be challenged for some time in June.

“Real” Suzuki emphasizes “Real Deal” to take over the GHC National, match signing ceremony

GHC Heavyweight Tag

Monster Taniguchi, which his seniors try so hard to awaken, sat dormant at the match signing as Saxon Huxley overturned the table, (which Takashi Sugiura, no stranger to trashing tables during press conferences, helped put back), but then turned his own over with a roar and made off with the tag belts. Sugi very politely helped the staff put the tables back. The team of Sugiura and Taniguchi gave very close to retaining, but they lost the belts when Saxon Huxley pinned Taniguchi with the Hanging Neck Bombs. The new champions celebrated by yelling loudly into the camera, and Huxley repeatedly head-butting his belt. Two new tags arose that night at MAJESTIC; AXIZ, and a new team of Masato Tanaka and Kazuyuki Fujita.

Huxley and Taniguchi go berserk overturning tables, Sugiura apologizes

GHC Junior Tag

YO-HEY and Tadasuke (Good Looking Guys Unit) defended the GHC Junior Tag against Alpha Wolf and DragonBane at Korakuen Hall on the 29th April. The lucha brothers came very close to taking the titles, but YO-HEY saved the team by pinning DragonBane. No challengers have come forward, but it does seem likely that they will be challenged by the people that YO-HEY dumped to join GLG; Atsushi Kotoge and Seiki Yoshioka at Korakuen Hall on the 14th May, which is NOAH’s next event. However, Kotoge and Yoshioka may not be the most stable team, as Yoshioka did catch him with a kick accidentally.

EVENT RECAPS & POST MATCH PROMOS

STAR NAVIGATION 2023

(Saturday April 29th, Korakuen Hall, Tokyo)

Event recap

Post match interviews

ABEMA PRESENTS MAJESTIC 2023

(Thursday 4th May, Ryogoku Kokugikan)

Event recap

Post match interviews

NOAH Fan Event Recap

ELSEWHERE IN NOAH

– Atsushi Kotoge posted a picture of himself when he came to NOAH eleven years ago. He says he is “slightly embarrassed” about seeing himself back then.

– Mohammed Yone and Super Crazy almost left via the wrong gate at MAJESTIC. The trainee standing there tried to tell them, but they seemed insistent, eventually he had to almost stand in their way before they realized.

– Xtreme Tiger returned to the NOAH ring following his concussion

– Most people down the old man VIPER tonic, Masato Tanaka opened it, poured it down his throat and chugged it.

– Keiji Mutoh told Kazushi Sakuraba that he should fight a bear on PPV. Sakuraba said no, he would be killed, and suggested that Mutoh do it. Mutoh said he was an old man who was enjoying retirement by sitting at home and watching historical dramas on NHK.

– Ray Escorpion made his NOAH debut, which involved heel tactics and stalking Dralistico.

– Jake Lee regretted his choice of costume, i.e. his gloves and cape, at the NOAH Fan Event. He said he felt like he needed an icepack under his armpits.

– Eita hid under the ring to jump Yoshinari Ogawa at Korakuen Hall on April 29th. When he crawled out he stretched and yawned, meaning that he fell asleep under there!

– Alejandro was sitting at the commentary table when it got trashed by the Luchadores at MAJESTIC.

CURRENT CHAMPIONS

GHC Heavyweight Champion: Jake Lee
Challenger: TBA
GHC Junior Champion: HAYATA
Challenger: Dante Leon, GREEN JOURNEY 2023 in NAGOYA (Nagoya International Conference Center Event Hall – Saturday, June 17th)
GHC Heavyweight Tag Champions: REAL (Saxon Huxley & Timothy Thatcher)
Challengers: TBA
GHC Junior Tag Champions: Good Looking Guys (YO-HEY & Tadasuke)
Challengers: TBA
GHC National Champion: El Hijo Del Dr Wagner Jnr
Challenger: TBA

THIS WEEK IN NOAH

(May 2023 schedule)

– STAR NAVIGATION 2023

Date: Sunday May 14th

Venue: Korakuen Hall, Tokyo

Start times: Doors 17:30 JST, Bell 18:30 JST

Broadcast: ABEMA

Birthdays & anniversaries

May 8th 1961: Akira Taue birthday (62)

May 13th 2000: Jumbo Tsuruta memorial (23)

*NOTE ABOUT ABEMA BROADCASTS

For the overseas fan a subscription to WrestleUniverse is recommended instead of a subscription to ABEMA. You can only watch ABEMA shows live (you cannot watch replays should you miss the show), but these always get uploaded to WrestleUniverse a few minutes after the broadcast finishes. I do not recommend that overseas fans subscribe to ABEMA due to the time consuming and expensive issues around finding a VPN that is compatible with their firewall, and ABEMA do not broadcast any other NOAH shows aside from the live broadcasts, they do not show much exclusive content and they do not show vintage or older events.

LINKS

“No matter how many times you fall down, you get back up, that’s pro wrestling” – Kaito Kiyomiya vs Reiwa’s “Pu-Girl”

“I want to fight” Aoki’s first NOAH participation, Funaki “challenge”. Press conference for the first showdown in six years

“Isn’t that a stupid question?” Shiozaki, returning for the first time in eight months, emphasizes “perfection” like AMAKUSA

26 year old wrestler Kaito Kiyomiya talks about the importance of the dojo and generational view

NOAH FROM THE VAULT

“Donmai, Donmai” – Mitsuharu Misawa’s diary….he’s being obscene!

With thanks to: Metal NOAH

Picture credits: NOAH.co.jp

Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!

(NOAH) NOAH NEWSLETTER VOL.199 ~ 25TH APRIL 2023

Lots of Championship news! Does Jake Lee have what it takes to captain the ark?

Published

1 month ago

April 26, 2023

Hi5ame

NEWS

“I made you all wait”, Go Shiozaki announces his return

Go Shiozaki made a surprise appearance at NOAH’s Sendai event on the 16th April, and announced that he would return to the ring at “MAJESTIC” at Ryogoku Kokugikan on Thursday May 4th. In an interview done soon afterwards, Shiozaki said that of course his goal was to “get my belt back as soon as possible” and naturally, his target is the current champion, Jake Lee. He is very excited about NOAH now with the influx of foreign wrestlers, and of course, Jake Lee whom he knew from being in All Japan. Shiozaki’s return match will be against Kongoh’s Kenoh, Katsuhiko Nakajima and Manabu Soya. Shiozaki says he will not only be fighting against his opponents, but also the younger generation of NOAH, who he says are “a threat”. NOAH’s generational wheel continues turning.

The theme of return is “New Go Shiozaki”, “Fight with five people”, thrilled by the new NOAH scenery

“I have to get my belt back”, Go Shiozaki vows to return early to the title front

Junta Miyawaki returns from Mexico

Junta Miyawaki announced (bilingually as he also announced this in Mexican), that he would be returning from Ultimo Dragon’s training camp, and would make his first match back at Korakuen Hall at STAR NAVIGATION on the 29th April. His opponent will be HI69, who has been on a roll recently. Before he left, Junta Miyawaki said that he would “sip muddy water”, (which basically means to hit rock bottom and crawl you way back up), before he returned to NOAH. HI69 was unimpressed with this statement, saying that Junta had no idea what he was talking about, but he would soon make him realize it.

Women’s matches

NOAH continue to book women’s matches on their bigger shows. Sendai saw Maya Yukihi and Sumire Natsu fight in a singles match, and afterwards mention was made (even fleetingly) of a woman’s GHC championship. The next women’s match will be a four way at “MAJESTIC” on the 4th May between

Maya Yukihisa & SAKI vs Sumire Natsu & Ryo Mizunami.

Xtreme Tiger concussed & Luchadore’s trash the commentary table

Very sadly Xtreme Tiger sustained (probably) a concussion during the match in Sendai and was stretchered from the ring. Fortunately, he could still move as he was seen to be sitting up and sliding himself on to the stretcher. The remaining Luchadores (Doralistico, Dragon Bane, Alpha Wolf, Alejandro & Lanzelot) decided to continue the match, and as they are NOAH Juniors, didn’t bother to tell the ref. They just carried on and during this, Dragon Bane trashed the commentary table by moonsaulting through it. Then everyone else joined in, fighting in the wreckage. Akitoshi Saito (who had been sitting at the table) was seen looking on blankly. Later he made the comment that the table was not made of a material that was meant to be broken.

Yasutaka Yano and Kinya Okada taken off the Sendai card at the last moment

Yasutaka Yano and Kinya Okada were announced to have been taken off the Sendai card at the last moment, meaning that Anthony Green and Akitoshi Saito (who wrestled by taking his shirt off and in his normal clothes) had to fill in for them. NOAH have not announced the issue (illness, injury, etc) but fans think that they may have gone to Mexico for training, albeit why this should be so sudden is a mystery.

Title news

GHC Heavyweight

Jake Lee retains, Naomichi Marufuji challenges

Jake Lee retained the GHC Heavyweight against Katsuhiko Nakajima, and was challenged that same night by Naomichi Marufuji. The nautical references continued, as Marufuji said that Jake’s steering was making him “seasick” and used a term that he says he came up with before he made his challenge, by saying that “Even if it is rotten, it is Marufuji” (the full saying is “Even if it is rotten, it is still a sea bream”, which basically is like saying “white cat, black cat, as long as it catches mice, then it is a good cat” i.e. quality is quality). Title match has been made for “MAJESTIC” on the 4th May.

The two pre matches have taken place at shows not broadcasted live, Hamamatsu (which was put on WrestleUniverse on the 25th April) and Kyoto KBS Hall (which will be streamed on WrestleUniverse on the 26th April from 18:00 JST). Neither the champion or the challenger scored the direct win over the other, but Jake was seen to hold the belt over Naomichi Marufuji as he, Jake, stood on the turnbuckle and held it even higher.

The new champion gives NOAH a warning! Is it okay to stay as NOAH = Marufuji?

“After all, I’m the man who’s been with NOAH for a long time” – Naomichi Marufuji, on the 25th anniversary of his debut who named himself as the one to overthrow Jake, talks about his thoughts!

GHC Heavyweight Tag

Masa Kitamiya and Daiki Inaba lost the GHC Heavyweight Tag Championship to Takashi Sugiura and Shuhei Taniguchi in Sendai. Shuhei Taniguchi, much to his seniors delight, got the win but there was no chance to celebrate for very long as a new fearsome tag team, who were part of a new unit (and therefore a new power in the heavyweights) appeared on the scene to challenge. Hideki Suzuki announced that himself, Timothy Thatcher and Saxon Huxley, were breaking away from The Sugiura Army, which he said was “over” (fans have long felt that the unit simply fizzled out) and the three of them were breaking away on their own.

Suzuki challenged for the GHC Heavyweight Tag belts on behalf of his partners, whom both came across as having chemistry akin to an old school American tag team (Saxon I know is from England, but you know the vibe I am talking about). Backstage, Hideki Suzuki said their new unit was called “Real”. In their first pre match in Hamamatsu, Suzuki refused to shake hands with Takashi Sugiura and Sugiura was defeated by Saxon Huxley. The next night in Kyoto, Sugiura defeated Huxley, which was Huxley’s first NOAH loss, with the Olympic Slam and labelled himself as “Beastmaster”. There was also some slight friction appearing between Takashi Sugiura and Shuhei Taniguchi, as Taniguchi did the same “I heard you lost today?” kind of comment back to Sugiura, and once again refused to shake hands with him when Sugiura offered and just walked off when Sugi asked, “Did you win?”.

GHC National

In an epic match, El Hijo Del Dr Wagner Jnr defended the GHC National against Jack Morris, and the two of them shook hands afterwards and patched up their friendship. Backstage, Hideki Suzuki appeared in the comments booth when Wagner Jnr was in it, clapping sarcastically and saying that he was coming for his belt. Suzuki also made a very poetic comment about the challenge.

“Because Wagner Jnr is the sun of Mexico, I will take him deep into the ocean. We will sink together, and only I will rise”

Their two pre matches so far have been inconclusive as they head towards the title match at “MAJESTIC” on the 4th May at Ryogoku Kokugikan.

GHC Junior

AMAKUSA did not do well in the pre matches against HAYATA, and HAYATA ran him into the ground in the title match in Sendai, winning in thirteen minutes and four seconds. In order to forestall anyone who thought they were going to challenge, he was picking up where he left off, and his next challenger would be Ninja Mack. Ninja Mack had challenged HAYATA in late 2022 for the belt, but he had won it when HAYATA was injured, and the belt was awarded to him. To HAYATA, he needed to defeat Ninja Mack first before dealing with anyone else. The two pre matches have not gone well for HAYATA, although Ninja Mack hasn’t got the win over him directly, he has still gotten the win for his team at one point, even if one of the matches was won by someone else, which for him counts as a victory over HAYATA.

GHC Junior Tag

Fans knew that Yoshinari Ogawa and Eita were going to fall apart. YO-HEY knew this too, but knew enough about his opponents, to be wary. In the end, a misfire by Eita, who caught Ogawa in the face with a kick, letting Tadasuke get the win, made the team implode. Ogawa might have come to the ring ignoring Eita’s very existence, but by the end of the match the two were brawling and the fight went backstage. After kicking Ogawa in the crotch, Eita announced that the only person he trusted was Daga. Daga will return to NOAH at “MAJESTIC”, with the one person who hasn’t turned on Ogawa (although he was wary of his aligning with Eita), Chris Ridgeway, who is returning to NOAH at Korakuen Hall on Saturday 29th April.

The new GHC Junior Champions, Good Looking Guy’s YO-HEY and Tadasuke, were challenged backstage by Dragon Bane and Alpha Wolf, who told them they were going to be taking the belts back to Mexico. The brothers have run riot on the junior tag champions, defeating them in the pre matches, Alpha Wolf in a singles against Tadasuke. Title match will take place this Saturday at Korakuen Hall.

EVENT RECAPS & POST MATCH PROMOS

ABEMA presents GREEN JOURNEY 2023 in Sendai (Sunday April 16th)

Event recap

Post match interviews

Act City Hamamatsu (Saturday, April 22nd)

Event recap

Post match interviews

Kyoto KBS Hall (Sunday, April 23rd)

Event recap

Post match interviews

ELSEWHERE IN NOAH

– Because they were both champions facing their challengers, YO-HEY offered HAYATA a handshake in Kyoto. HAYATA reacted in usual fashion (he refused) but the two were seen to work together…

– Kongoh appeared in a short Kenoh Channel video, where each of them ate one of Shuji Kondo’s financiers and talked about the merch table. Katsuhiko Nakajima very neatly put back a packet of Naomichi Marufuji’s curry, which Kenoh had thrown.

– Although he is no longer appearing in the ring, NOSAWA Rongai was seen watching at the Hamamatsu show. He’s not a member of the audience however, as he seems to be travelling with them – Kenoh said that he was glad Go Shiozaki had returned as he could not “wait to beat the shit” out of him.

– Atsushi Kotoge has revealed his beloved Shiba is called “Chikuwa”. When he left for NOAH’s weekend shows, he told him he was leaving him as watchdog to guard the family.

– Mercedes Monet said she wanted a match with “Marufugi”. “Marufugi” said he wanted one with her too.

– YO-HEY and Yoshiki Inamura will appear on “All-Star Chorus Battle” on May 14th for Fuji TV. The premise of the show is that they will team with five other people, sing the hit songs of the Reiwa era and compete as a chorus for a championship.

– A picture taken by NOAH’s official photographer in Kyoto was captured at precisely the moment that Seiki Yoshioka was diving off the top turnbuckle. The angle of his body made him look as if he was leaping out of the stained glass behind him. Ironically, he seemed to be leaping from the roof of the Ark. Also photographed against The Ark was Yoshiki Inamura, who put a Dove above his head.

CURRENT CHAMPIONS

GHC Heavyweight Champion: Jake Lee
Challenger: Naomichi Marufuji, ABEMA presents MAJESTIC 2023, Ryogoku Kokugikan, Thursday May 4th
GHC Junior Champion: HAYATA
Challenger: Ninja Mack, ABEMA presents MAJESTIC 2023, Ryogoku Kokugikan, Thursday May 4th
GHC Heavyweight Tag Champions: Takashi Sugiura & Shuhei Taniguchi
Challengers: REAL (Saxon Huxley & Timothy Thatcher), ABEMA presents MAJESTIC 2023, Ryogoku Kokugikan, Thursday May 4th
GHC Junior Tag Champions: Good Looking Guys (YO-HEY & Tadasuke)
Challengers: Dragon Bane & Alpha Wolf, STAR NAVIGATION 2023, Korakuen Hall, Saturday April 29th
GHC National Champion: El Hijo Del Dr Wagner Jnr
Challenger: Hideki Suzuki, ABEMA presents MAJESTIC 2023, Ryogoku Kokugikan, Thursday May 4th