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Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News! (10/24/20)

Preparing for the clash…



HPW Clash of Fates news

The Clash of Fates is on the horizon!

There’s only SEVEN DAYS until HPW Clash of Fates! With title matches and the Hyrule Warriors match coming, how is everyone preparing?


HPW Media checks in with Ghirahim.

The Living Blade, the Demon Lord, wears his HPW Exquisite Championship as he walks along a road in Ludfo’s Bog. Grirahim in narration says he grew up around here. “Not that I lived around here. Not that I really lived anywhere.” He doesn’t know what happened to his family, he just knows he didn’t have any growing up. He wasn’t given a choice but to become a “strong, shining weapon.” Ghirahim doesn’t share this information for your pity, merely for your understanding. “None of you have any right to pity me. None of you would’ve survived like I did.” Ghirahim arrives at the Valley of Demise and looks down into the rocky crags and jutting protrusions. This was always his favorite place to go. It’s ugliness and precarious nature is exactly what sharpened him into being The Living Blade.

“Igos du Ikana wants to use his belt to represent Termina’s tradition and beauty? That entire country pales in comparison to this expanse of stone and sand.” This place made Ghirahim. “I was a lonely lump of coal, but the pressure of my life made me into a diamond! And like all diamonds, I must shine!” He didn’t change the title into the Exquisite Championship out of entitlement. “I earned that right by living through hell.” And he promises to put Igos through hell so that Termina Championship Wrestling can finally be put to rest. But how much can Ghirahim do when there’s NO Champion’s Advantage?


HPW Media checks in with… the King of Hyrule?

King Nicolas Foolyere is in his office. His computer screen has a few different windows open. One’s a text file but it’s hard to read anything other than “Hyrule Warriors Entries” in big bold font. The other is an video. Is that Tingle in the Lost Woods? Nicolas also has some Clash of Fates promotional material open. He types a quick email that gives his support of image 2. Image 2 imagines Ganondorf looking over the wall of the Hylian Coliseum, boar headdress included, and down at Zelda as she stands in the ring with a very determined look. He stares at that image and the others, all of which feature Ganondorf and Zelda in some way since they’re the headliners. He looks to his phone, and picks it up.

We cut to the phone he’s calling. His number reads “Dad,” so that can only mean… Zelda picks up the phone, sees who it is, and answers it. “Hey, Dad. Um, what’s up?” “Oh, not much, actually. I just wanted to check in with you.” He couldn’t help but think about her because of work. He lets her know about the promotional material for the broadcast. It’ll be the giant Ganondorf looming over the coliseum one. Oh, okay. She does like how she looks in that one. He wants her to know that while he can’t be biased as her boss, he is proud of her as her father. She knows that. Well, he still felt he needed to say that. Maybe a few months ago, it was “controversial” for her to do what she did, but she’s proving her own point. She fought for this opportunity on her own, no one can take that from her. She thanks him for saying that, and he wishes her luck against Ganondorf.

After the two hang up, we stick with Zelda. She takes a moment, puts the phone down, and walks over to Impa waiting by a wrestling ring. Impa wants to make sure Zelda knows she’s just as proud of her as her father is. Zelda thanks Impa for that, and says they should get back to training. Impa agrees, as every spare moment counts. The two go up onto the apron and Zelda teases Impa, “Age before beauty.” Impa jokes back, “Whatever you say, kid.” They step through the ropes and Zelda continues to tease Impa, “Maybe we should go slow. You’re not as young as springtime anymore.” Impa’s still young enough to whip your butt, Princess. Oh yeah? How’re you going to do that? You taught Zelda everything you know. Almost everything. “You have to remember now. You fight great but I’m a great fighter.”

Is Zelda ready? Absolutely. Impa admits, it is a shame she got old. Nah, just keep wrestling, Impa. Wanna ring the bell? Impa pretends to tap a bell as she says, “Ding-ding.” The two circle and continue to talk a little smack. “C’mon, Princess, c’mon. C’mon!” “Oh, you look really look good for an older lady.” “Oh, ho, you’re looking good, Princess. I taught you well.” “I think you taught me too well.” They circle a little more, finally approach and tie up! But that’s where the video ends on a freeze frame, set to Eye of the Lynel! A Zelda VS Impa exhibition?! If only this was on a card somewhere! But will this intense level of training be enough?

My Thoughts:

Enjoy my Rocky III reference at the end there? A sudden inspiration as I was writing this, and I figured Zelda and Impa fit it best. Of course, it’s quite a bit of cheese at the end of what was heartfelt father-daughter dialogue. I tried to do my best take on an NXT Prime Target for Ghirahim’s segment, but WWE/NXT does such a good job with things like that, that’s really hard to do. Plus, it’s tricky to give a backstory to a character whose true origins is [Skyward Sword spoilers] being the spirit of Demise’s sword. But luckily, Breath of the Wild has a location named after Demise, so that made things a little easier. I hope I can make the Exquisite VS Termina Championship and the Triforce Championship match live up to what these vignettes would be like in video form.

Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!

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